The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Intelligence | Robin Hills | Skillshare

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The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Intelligence

teacher avatar Robin Hills, Emotional Intelligence coach and facilitator

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
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Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

41 Lessons (2h 23m)
    • 1. The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Intelligence

    • 2. Introduction and Learning Outcomes

    • 3. The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence

    • 4. Defining Emotional Intelligence

    • 5. The Difference Between EI and EQ

    • 6. The Difference between Emotions and Feelings

    • 7. Insight into Emotions

    • 8. Emotional Intelligence at Work

    • 9. Working with the Emotional Climate

    • 10. The Advantages and Disadvantages of EI

    • 11. How Emotions are Viewed

    • 12. The Development and Function of Emotions

    • 13. One Minute Observation Test

    • 14. The Basic Anatomy of the Brain

    • 15. The Three Human Brains

    • 16. Emotions and Higher Order State

    • 17. The Basic Human Emotions

    • 18. More about Basic Emotions

    • 19. The Wheel of Emotions

    • 20. The Expression of Emotion

    • 21. The Myth about Positive and Negative Emotions

    • 22. How Emotions have been Mapped in the Body

    • 23. Ways to Map your Moods and Emotions

    • 24. Managing Emotions and Moods to Manage Stress

    • 25. Identifying Emotion and Working to Understand Emotion

    • 26. How Emotions Drive Thinking and Behaviour

    • 27. Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence Framework

    • 28. Emotional Intelligence as a Series of Abilities

    • 29. More about EI as a Set of Abilities

    • 30. The 6 Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence

    • 31. Measuring and Assessing Emotional Intelligence

    • 32. The Three Types of Empathy

    • 33. Ways to Develop Empathy

    • 34. The Rules of Rapport to Develop Social Skills

    • 35. Practising Emotional Intelligence

    • 36. The One Percent Solution and One Minute Levers

    • 37. Becoming More Emotionally Intelligent

    • 38. Speaking in Emotionally Intelligent Ways

    • 39. Why Being Selfish, Prejudiced and Narrow Minded is Emotionally Intelligent

    • 40. Do's and Don'ts around EI

    • 41. The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Intelligence Review

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About This Class

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What is all the fuss about emotional intelligence?

  • Find out about the importance of understanding the emotions that you experience. 
  • Explore how to practise and learn how to develop emotional intelligence.
  • Discover how to improve your relationships and performance by gaining insights into the emotions of other people.
  • Gain an understanding how you react in situations with a particular focus on how your feelings and emotions impact upon your performance. 


You won't become more emotionally intelligent by just watching the videos!  These will give you a better understanding about emotional intelligence. The actionable part of the course is in the assignment which is designed to give you some specific feedback so that you can determine what you currently do well and how you need to improve.  

Meet Your Teacher

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Robin Hills

Emotional Intelligence coach and facilitator


Hi. I'm Robin Hills. It is my intention to offer the best and highest quality courses on emotional intelligence available through SkillShare and across the internet.  I am not teaching any other types of course as I am a specialist in emotional intelligence and it is the focus of my business. 

Teaching emotional intelligence skills is a challenge at the best of times. I am not teaching any other types of class as I am a specialist in emotional intelligence and it is the focus of my business.

These courses require you to take some ACTION and put into practice what you have learnt.

Please note that all classes are continually refined and updated to ensure they remain current and relevant.

I am an emotional intelligence coach, trainer an... See full profile

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1. The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Intelligence: Hello, My name's Robin Hills. I'm an emotional intelligence coach, trainer and facilitator. The online classes that I deliver are all based around emotion intelligence. They look out ways that you can develop your emotional intelligence at work, in social settings and at home. Emotional intelligence can be defined as the way in which you combine your thinking with your feelings to make good quality decisions and build authentic relationships. It all sounds simple enough, but developing your emotional intelligence requires some commitment from you. Rather than just watching a few videos, you need to make a conscious effort to take action changing the way that you're interacting with other people and the way that you behave. Now all of this can be quite difficult. It'll make you feel uncomfortable and make you feel awkward. More often than not, it would be easier to stay the way that you are. That's not going to develop your emotional intelligence. The way to develop your emotional intelligence is to see how changing your approach to situations works, see what doesn't work and get some feedback. This class will give you more insights into emotional intelligence and what it means. Am I emotionally intelligent? That's an interesting question, isn't it? If I say "Yes, I am emotionally intelligent" it's rather arrogant and self cantered and suggests there's no room for improvement. If I answer "No, I'm not emotionally intelligent". Why am I delivering a class on emotional intelligence? The answer is "It depends. It's work in progress." There are certain times when I work in a situation using my emotional intelligence, and I'll be proud of the way that I have used it. And there'll be times when I work in a situation and I will completely screw up! From this class, you can look at the ways in which you're applying your emotional intelligence to get the outcomes that you're looking for to improve your performance and your relationships. It's important to stress that in order for you to get the best out of the class, you should work through the project. It will help you to determine how you're currently working with your emotional intelligence and will help you to look at ways to change the way that you work with your emotional intelligence to have more impact. The opportunity is there for you to interact with other people, taking the class and to interact with me. I hope you enjoy taking the class and I look forward to working with you. So, let's get started. 2. Introduction and Learning Outcomes: This is an introductory course on emotional intelligence designed to give you as much information around emotional intelligence to give you a basic understanding. On completion of the course, you'll be able to define emotional intelligence. You'll be able to identify what emotional intelligence is, what it isn't, and why it's important. You'll be able to explain the difference between IQ, EQ and DI. You'll be able to recognize how and why emotions are important and how they are expressed at work. You'll be able to identify how to use emotions and emotional information in effective and meaningful ways. You'll be able to examine some of your own emotional intelligence competencies, hidden disability. There's the chance for you within the close to assess your level of emotional intelligence and produce a development plan. From this, you can state what actions you can take to develop your emotional intelligence. The only way you can develop emotional intelligence is by reflecting and then taking some action and getting some feedback. You won't be able to develop your emotional intelligence by listening to me and by watching a number of video lessons. Within the course, there are some practical activities for you to work out. And these will give you some insights as to how you're currently using your emotional intelligence and how other people view your emotional intelligence. From this, you can put together the plan to help you to develop your emotional intelligence. I hope you enjoy working with the quotes. If you've got any questions or any comments, feel free to post them or contact me at any time. 3. The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence: In today's workplace, the need for emotional intelligence is more important than FOR. Research into a number of organizations have shown that 90% of managers and leaders working within organizations consider emotional intelligence as important or crucial to beating their business needs. This percentage is likely to increase. So for the next few years, the quality of an organization's leadership has a direct impact on the long-term growth and success, not only of the organization, but if its employees. Companies surveyed, identified that people and relational skills are important as components of emotional intelligence, but it's not necessarily a priority. Third, state that it is a priority because emotional intelligence is central to the way that the organization operates. It's not an adult. It's not a training course or a workshop. It's fundamental to the way in which these organizations work. The IEP imbedded emotional intelligence since the very heart, the DNA of the culture. It is become more than just a set of skills. When asked what are the issues that you face at work, leaders reported that 76% were people related or relational related, and only 24% were financial or technical issues. 90% of top performers have been shown to be high in emotional intelligence. 67% of competencies essential to effective leadership performance are related to emotional intelligence. People going on and emotional intelligence leadership development programs show an 18% improvements in emotional intelligence within just three months. After six months, this increase was maintained. There were measurable improvements in decision-making influence and quality of life. Creating value through people, four people. Leaders with high emotional intelligence are more than twice as likely to be resilient. Managers train, didn't coached in emotional intelligence deliver twice the profit than those that aren't. Globally, 71%. Employees are not engaged in their work. Employees are o for four times more likely to be engaged working in an emotionally intelligent leadership climates. Researchers also showing that executives are 60% more likely to derail for reasons of low emotional intelligence than any other competency. The most likely reason is down, so they're in sensitivity. Executives with high levels of emotional intelligence. So 32% more effective at building and maintaining relationships. The leader's behavior can have a direct impact on employee stress and performance. 80% of employees working in a negative leadership climate are disengaged. Working in a positive leadership climates, people are likely to become more engaged. And through this, they will demonstrate higher job performance, greater job satisfaction, more organizational commitment, better psychological well-being, and better physical health. Emotional intelligence has been highlighted as a fundamental scale, not only now, but for the future. With the advancements of artificial intelligence, emotional intelligence is going to be a fundamental skill that people will need in order to ensure longevity of themselves and their roles. So moving forward, Emotionally intelligence has been highlighted as one of the top ten skills that is going to be required in the 20 twenties. Emotionally intelligence is not certainly important now, but it's going to become even more important in the future. 4. Defining Emotional Intelligence: Put simply, emotional intelligence is the way that you played into your thinking with your feelings in order to make good innovative decisions and build authentic relationships by turning intention into action. It's the way that you manage your emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicates effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence is a set of emotional and social skills which together combined to establish how good you are at and understanding and expressing yourself. How you go about developing and maintaining social relationships. How you cope with day-to-day challenges, how these effects you over a longer period of time. And how you go about using emotional information, urine and the emotional information of other people in effective and meaningful ways. While there are a number of other factors that predict performance, potential and success in life. Emotional intelligence has been proved and in many studies to be a key indicates certain all of these areas. Emotional intelligence has been estimated to account for between 2007 to 45 percent of job success. A Harvard Business Review published in 2003 reported that 80% of competencies that differentiate top performers from others are in the domain of emotional intelligence. And this has been confirmed time and again in subsequent studies. Emotional intelligence is completely different to cognitive intelligence. Iq. The two are not highly correlated, which means that they're not related to each other. This means that there's nothing to suggest that if you have a high IQ, you're going to be more emotionally intelligent. However, a higher IQ will give you a head start because you can apply your intelligence to your animations and use both to help you to make better decisions. Cognitive intelligence, m-dimensional intelligence exist in tandem and a most effective when they build off one another. Whilst your IQ is fixed in your late teens, your emotional intelligence is not a static fact, as it can be developed and improved in targeted areas. And so can change over time. You can work to improve and change your emotional intelligence with the right focus and support. Emotional intelligence doesn't measure your vocation. So it won't help you to choose a career. And it wouldn't help you to choose whether to add or prepare for a particular occupation. Emotional intelligence isn't linked to your aptitude, your natural ability to learn a new language, play an instrument, or your ability to learn a new skill. Neither is emotional intelligence linked to how well you do in examinations that measure proficiency. Know how well you're performing certain tasks. Emotional Intelligence has some links to personality, but isn't a direct measure of personality being different from behaviors and character traits such as loyalty, integrity, extroversion, neuroticism, and a number of other standard personality measures. Finally, whilst emotional intelligence helps people to work more effectively with their emotions, it doesn't give any assessments, have anxiety, depression, or any other aspect of mental health. 5. The Difference Between EI and EQ: Iq, cognitive intelligence is important in helping us to be successful, but it isn't the only thing. Iq doesn't explain the difference in destinies have people with roughly equal backgrounds, schooling, and opportunities. No more intelligence is important, then interpersonal intelligence is, without good levels of these, he'll make poor lifestyle choices about who to marry, what job to take, how to spend your money and so on. Emotional intelligence is recognized as being more important than cognitive intelligence in business and personal success and in many other areas. Emotional intelligence is made up of the two words, emotional and intelligence. So it has something to do with both of these words and their definitions. Ei, emotional intelligence is an intelligence related to IQ. It's not, it's polar opposite. It's sets of competencies or abilities. There are lots of different ways of describing emotional intelligence. In fact, sometimes it's not called EI, it's called EQ, which can be a little bit confusing, especially when the term EQ is set up in opposition to IQ. When people use the term EQ a lot, they're often referring to a broad range ship ability, skills, personality traits, and behaviors. Strictly speaking, EQ refers to emotional quotient, which considers those parts of emotional intelligence that can be quantified, measured. And these include empathetic, assertiveness, optimism, stress tolerance, willpower and flexibility, and many others. Emotional intelligence should be measured as IQ is measured to the extent possible in an objectively scored manner. Emotional Intelligence EI underpins effective performance, interpersonal relationships and leadership and should form the basis of a lot of soft skills training. I mentioned intelligence is an integral part of leadership. Communication skills, selling and sales, motivation, change management, teams and team working, resilience, code shake, problem-solving and decision-making, influencing and persuasion, conflict resolution, empathy. All of these areas involves some kind of emotional management, some kind of emotional control, and some kind of engagements around dimensions when working with other people. Ei refers more specifically to the type of emotional intelligence that we're looking at within this course, which encompasses those parts of emotional intelligence that can be measured. Eq, that goes beyond to consider other factors that influence summation symbol performance. These are difficult to Mencius specific clay and include such factors as motivation, attitude, integrity, perspective, and biases to name but a few. 6. The Difference between Emotions and Feelings: Emotions and feelings are all traits that we share as humans. Many people use the terms feelings and emotions interchangeably, but they're not really the same. Well they have similar elements. There's some aren't difference between the two. Emotions are mostly universal and did not conscious but instead manifest themselves in the unconscious mind. Emotion can only ever be felt through the emotional experiences that it gives rise to. Even though it might be discovered through its associated thoughts, beliefs, desires, and actions. In certain cases, the only way emotions can be brought to the surface of the conscious state is through psychotherapy, feeling Sarah conscious experience. So we're aware of them, although not every conscious experience, such as seeing or hearing is a feeling. Emotional expressions of physical sensations such as hunger or pain bring about feelings. Emotions contain real-time data triggered by changes in the environment and sensations in the body, a reaction to the present reality. For example, when you're in an unknown place, you may feel a range of emotions such as curiosity and fear. Since emotions of physical states, they can be measured by physical factors such as facial expressions, body language, heartbeat, blood flow, breathing rate to name but a few. Listening to our bodily emotions informed by our sense perception helps us connect to the reality of our present experience. Feelings, on the other hand, can be hidden if they occur at all. Feelings are often influenced by personal experience, beliefs and memories. Potentially inaccurate beliefs may underpin some of our feelings because we've consciously created an awareness of them and how they affect us. They can vary from person to person, so they may be unique to us. Another way to look at the fundamental difference between emotions and feelings is that emotions manifest either consciously or unconsciously, whilst feelings or experienced consciously. Another factor differentiating the two is time. Emotions come first thing feelings come after as the biochemical signals. So the neurological pathways and the endocrine system get to work in our bodies. So the order of an unexpected unpleasant event is I'm threatened. My experience fear. I feel frightened and scared. 7. Insight into Emotions: Can we control our emotions? So do our emotions control us? Emotions select the seasons. They're always in the background. Like the seasons, we can use our emotions to our advantage or disadvantage and create opportunities for ourselves. If the sun is shining, we can spend time outside whatever the season, but we have to adapt to other things like the temperature. So what we were on a sunny day and when two will be different from what we would wear on a sunny day in the summer. Here are a range of quotes from famous people that give some really interesting insights into emotions and what emotions mean to them. Vincent van Gogh said, let's not forget that the little emotions, the great captains of our life and we obey them without realizing it. And Frank said, but feelings can't be ignored no matter how unjust are ungrateful. They seem. Oscar Wilde said, I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, enjoy them, and dominate them. John Lennon's said, you can hide your face behind a smile. One thing you can't hide is when you're crippled inside. This is only a small selection. There are many more. But what these quotes show us is how emotions infiltrate and impact upon many aspects of our lives. For this reason, we really do need to take the most seriously and local ways that we could work with their impacts partners to make us more effective. Think of it this way. When awareness is brought to information, power is brought to your life. And to awaken human emotion is the highest level of art. 8. Emotional Intelligence at Work: The most senior EUR within an organization. And the more you develop yourself in your career, the more that you'll find out that it's emotional intelligence becomes increasingly important and is more importance than cognitive intelligence in determining your personal success. Daniel Goldman's set, there is intelligence in emotions and intelligence can be brought to emotions. So if you have a high level of IQ, cognitive intelligence, the way in which you use your intelligence in terms of working with emotions, can give you a little bit of a headstart. Iq is the measure of cognitive intelligence. Eq is the measure of emotional intelligence. Iq and EQ, the measure of cognitive intelligence and the mixture of emotional intelligence are not highly correlated. So that doesn't necessarily mean that if you have a high IQ, you're going to have a high level of emotional intelligence. You just have more of a headstart. Anyone can become angry that CEC bots be angry with the right person to the right degree, at the right time for the right purpose. And in the right way. That's not easy. You may be surprised to learn that this was attributed to Aristotle back in ancient Greece. Emotional managements and emotional expression was known as far back as then. Let's have a look at emotional intelligence in the workplace. There are a range of emotions which people will experience on a day-to-day basis of work. The way in which you experience emotions is going to be difference on a day-to-day basis. And it's going to change over time. How you experience your emotions will be different to how other people experience emotions. Here are some examples. Satisfaction. You've done an excellent piece of work. Anxiety. You have some difficulties in meeting an important deadline. Worry. You have to give a presentation to a large group of people. Anger. Your efforts have not really been appreciated. Happiness. You'd wanna make contracts having puts in a lots of efforts. Surprise. The manager has remembered your birthday. However, this particular picture looks more like shock to me. This brings us to an important points about emotions. How we communicates around her emotions, and how we communicate surround our feelings. Six of the basic emotions or happiness, disgust, fear, sadness, anger, and surprise. Researchers have found that these emotions are experienced by everyone irrespective of culture and background. Studies from around the world have shown that there's little difference in people's day-to-day emotional experiences. However, since nobody has the same and we all have different personalities, everyone thinks perceive some fields things differently as well. You may be feeling and emotion in the same way as someone else. But you may say that you're anxious. While somebody else may say that they're fearful, and someone else may describe themselves as fret full. It's important to try and understand what the person means when they describe their emotion. And the emotion that you see as your interpretations may be completely different from someone else. At work, a situation may make you feel angry, but other members of your team may not feel anger in the same way. Some people may be feeling frustrated, whilst others may feel annoyed, gloomy, or cross, and others may be in the grip of rage. Emotions can be combined to form different feelings, much like colors. Basic emotions act to something like building blocks and can be mixed to create other shades. More complex emotions are mixed emotions and their blending some of the more basic ones. Guilds, an anticipation or interesting emotions because they include a time component. Guilt, an emotion associated with something that we did in the past. Whilst anticipation is an emotion that is associated with a future events. It's important to dispel a couple of myths around emotional intelligence in the workplace. Emotional intelligence is not about catching and suppressing emotion, says they actually begin to surface. So it's not about suppressing anger. And it's not about suppressing anxiety. It's not about suppressing fair. It's about raising those issues, working with those emotions, and recognizing that they contain some very important information. The other thing about emotional intelligence of work, it is, it's not about being nice. It's about doing the right thing, making the right decisions, and doing these in the right way. What emotional intelligence is, is about bringing all of these emotions to the surface and using them in a way that can drive situations forward. In order to assess, say, do the right thing with the right person at the right time and in the right way. 9. Working with the Emotional Climate: Let's explore working within the emotional climate. So what this means in more detail, how you think batches situation is going to impact upon how you feel and vice versa. That's why the ability to manage emotions is so important in releasing the untapped potential of the people that you work with and in implementing change. Neuroscience shows that mind and body are so deeply intertwined that when you do new things, especially in an emotionally resonant way, you're rewiring your brain and so deepening your memory. The secret here is to create emotionally engaging tasks and then practice them by stepping into discomfort, managing those emotions well and where the positive attitude. By doing this, you'll find that people learn more rapidly. Working to master emotional intelligence is a step towards helping others to do the same. This tool counts points, levels of emotional engagement with the capacity for emotional management. Emotional engagement is the way in which people are engaging emotionally with the current situation and how they using their emotions to drive and influence the emotional climates. Emotional management involves emotional awareness, reading emotions and understanding emotions, yours and those of others. And capabilities around choice. Making choices around how you work with and express emotions, even in the grip of strong feelings. If the emotional level is low and emotional management is low, people will find the climate de-motivating, disengaging and become apathetic. And there'll be in a situation where they say things like, I don't care if the emotional level is high, but the emotional management is low. People will be pulsive. Coerce if the disruptive, they'll say things like, I want this to stop or do it my way. If the emotional level is low, but the emotional management is high, you'll find people will be organizing, there'll be productive and there'll be considerate. You'll hear things like, I'm okay with this. Using your emotional intelligence. Well, ideally you work towards situations where the emotional level is high and emotional management is high. In these situations, everybody will be working in an engaging way. It'll be inspiring and energizing for everyone. And you'll hear things like, I want to make this happen. 10. The Advantages and Disadvantages of EI: There are some advantages in working with and using emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence will help you to improve relationships with your family and your friends, your colleagues, and with people inside and outside of work. Emotional intelligence helps you to maintain control, lowest stress levels, and maintains your motivation. Emotional intelligence enables good communication and your ability to work with an influence and persuade others. And to do this without conflict. Good levels of emotional intelligence enhances your reputation inside and outside of work. There are, however, some disadvantages with emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence can't always be learned. You can't learn emotional intelligence by reading a book or watching a few videos. You can learn about emotional intelligence. But the only way you can develop it is by interacting with other people and knowing how to work with emotions, yours, and those of other people better. Through experience. Only some attributes of the emotional intelligence can be developed, can be learned, or can be told. Others like adopting a more understanding attitude or building drive and determination, can only really come from within. Emotional intelligence is sometimes dismissed as just another management fad. It's often ridiculed by people in senior positions. And he often turns out that they're the ones with low levels of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is not relevant in every job role. Now interestingly, this links in with the previous point because some people will be promoted into management positions. Having had success in a row where emotional intelligence isn't important. Suddenly, they are then in a position where they have to interact, engage, and lead and develop people. A good example is a research role or a role that involves working with figures and numbers. People who've been promoted often assumed that because they've had some success in working with their capabilities, these are the attributes that will stand them in good stead when they're managing and working with other people. They either forget or they don't know that emotions are involved when you're dealing with other people, rather than just keeping everything purely at a cognitive level. Now, emotional intelligence can also be used to manipulate people's emotions are one of the core components of our being. We experience emotions have virtually every moment of the day. When those emotions are understood as the scale, then it becomes another way to manipulate someone to do what you want them to do. High levels of emotional intelligence might eliminate physical bullying. But if the intentions of the known good, then a different type of bullying can come about. Emotional bullying. What's worse is when the person being bullied wants to have that happen because it's emotionally fulfilling for them. We've also got to look at the way in which emotional intelligence can be used as a highly political level to manipulate people. And there are many examples throughout history where people have had high levels of emotional intelligence and manipulated populations. I'm sure you can think of examples of leaders from history who have manipulated populations for their own purposes. And this is occurring today with many politicians. The advantages and disadvantages of emotional intelligence show that it can be highly beneficial to develop. It also shows that there are some potentially dangerous situations that develop if people use their emotional intelligence in a way that only benefits themselves by understanding the core emotions of those around us better, more appropriate decisions can be made. Salamis, the negatives can be balanced properly. Emotional intelligence will always be important. And emotional intelligence can be used for the greater good of society, the world, and everyone. 11. How Emotions are Viewed: Back in the 20th century, emotions were considered to be chaos, hey, capacitors, superfluous in incompatible with cognitive thinking and reasoning. They were seen as largely visceral or disorganized. And anybody expressing emotions really resulted from a lack of effective adjustment. Emotions nowadays, so considered a lot more favorably and a lot more positively than known to arouse sustained and direct activity. We know that emotions are involved in the learning process and then accessing memory. And also we know that the emotions are involved in good decision-making. They are a part of what makes us human, and they're part of the total economy of all living organisms, then not actually an opposition to intelligence. Some work very well combined with cognitive intelligence and an effective use of emotions. Instructor higher-order of intelligence, which we now know as emotional intelligence. 12. The Development and Function of Emotions: Charles Darwin speculated that nonverbal expression and communication evolved in the absence of language as a mechanism to help us survive. As an evolutionary process, emotions have found in other animals and so are in neonates there in bold. Genetic components is therefore likely to be involved in the way in which we experience and express emotion. But our emotions don't necessarily define our destiny, how we grow up and what we become as we grow into adults. So a timid child doesn't necessarily grow into a timid, shy, unconfident adults. The way in which our parents used and express their emotions, helps us to learn how we work with our emotions. Abuse in childhood has an influence on how emotions managed and used and hinder learning about the appropriate use of emotion. A poor ability to read the emotions of other people may lead to the development who have poor social skills with the consequence that for these people, it becomes difficult to build long-term lasting relationships. There's a strong biological purpose for emotion. Emotions signal non-verbally to others that they may have to take some immediate action. So expressions of surprise, fear, anger, and disgust will encourage those around us to respond in ways that are appropriate to that emotion, providing a very strong impulse for them to take action. Each emotion is expressed in a unique physiological manner in order that our bodies are prepared for the appropriate action. In other words, the emotion prepares us so that we can take flight or fight, or perhaps Jews and other response. Our emotion and our action provides a motivational trigger to other surround us to act in similar ways. Our emotions provide us with the motivation that we need to commit events to memory. And so emotions become fundamental to the way in which we learn and to our learning. 13. One Minute Observation Test: Hello everyone. Now that I've introduced an emotional response in you, let us investigate the workings of the brain and the way in which the brain works with emotions to keep us safe and secure. 14. The Basic Anatomy of the Brain: The human brain is an amazing tool. It's one of the organs of the body and it's the most complex instruments in the known universe. The other organs, such as the heart or the lungs are not as sophisticated. And unlike the small simple organs that are capable of being transplanted from one person to another. The brain is so interwoven into the fabric of our body so we could refer to the body as being an organ of the brain, are supposed to be in the other way round. And adult humans brain, it's about the size and weight of a mallard. What makes the brain so remarkable is that it's made up of 86 billion neurons interconnected by 1.5 times ten to the 14 sine apses. These are the junctions between two nerve cells consisting of a minute gap across which impulses passed by diffusion of a neurotransmitter. There are 4500 neurotransmitters. Most people have heard of two or three searches, dopamine and serotonin, but there are many, many more. This arrangement offers unlimited memory. The brain combines language and visual imagery, operating by perception. Well, if thinking about itself, which is what you're doing right now, and it's capable of working with emotions. The brain is made up of several distinct regions. Each of these regions serves two functions, physiological and psychological. Each region has a different purpose, but they all connect to give us our feelings, thoughts, and actions. Biologically, each region plays a role in managing aspects of our physiology. From regulating oxygen levels in the blood, to sending messages to the muscles that enable us to move. Each region possesses a distinct psychological function for the way in which it processes information. When considering the psychological function of the human brain, it's possible to divide it into the following areas. The primitive brain or the reptilian brain, controls functions basic to survival, such as heart rate, breathing, digesting food and sleeping. It's the lowest most primitive barrier of the human brain. And it includes the cerebellum, which is involved in coordinating movement. Although we're not consciously aware of the information processed by our lower brain, it receives information from the senses and provides us with our instincts or our gut feelings. The term the emotional brain, it's used to describe the collective areas that make up the limbic system. And this includes the amygdala. These are the brain structures that filter and process emotions and emotional responses. This region is important because it plays a lead role in governing emotions and our natural an automatic behaviors and functions. The outer cortex forms the rest of the brain. The rational brain is made up of the frontal lobes or prefrontal cortex. As this region is more precisely known. This area of the brain enables us to reason, to be rational, to be objective, and to master our instincts and our emotions. The left hemisphere of the cortex is where we store the rules by which we live our lives. For example, the rules of language is stored in this area of the brain, which is why people who suffer from strokes within the left hemisphere often find speaking difficulty. Being more structured and rule-based. The left hemisphere processes information sequentially, with each step being a consequence of the previous one. The right hemisphere of the color text, in stark contrast, deals with pattern-making. It deals with ambiguity and new learning. The right hemisphere therefore, processes information in a more irrational style by looking at the linkages, patterns, and associations with other memories. Since stored experiences. The brain is capable of multitasking using both hemispheres simultaneously. It's able to process information very quickly and intuitively. And it's able to adapt to circumstances when needed. However, it's not perfect. The brain is limited to some degree. It makes mistakes without care, and it's influenced by outside sources. To work effectively. The human brain consumes vast amounts of glucose. Energy, consumes about 20% of the body's energy. So if it doesn't have to work hard, it won't. This means that it wants to make the quickest decisions possible and will often jump to conclusions, make snap decisions and judgments without all the information available. So belief in your brain giving you an accurate representation of reality and a deep understanding of circumstances can often get you into trouble. 15. The Three Human Brains: What's so special about such jelly fishes braid? Well the answer is they don't have one. They have a set of nerves which forms the large nerve network link control swimming, and a small nerve network that controls how the behaviors. This neural complex can detect, touch, temperature, salinity, and other changes in the environment to work. So an automatic reflex is in response to the stimuli. Beyond our brains. Humans have neural networks around the heart and a larger one around the gut. Intrinsic cardiac nervous system, or the heart brain, has around 40000 cardiac neurons working together to communicate across the huts nervous system. These also extend from the heart up along the vagus nerve to the brain. The heart send small messages up to the brain and the brain sense to the heart. The brain interprets these messages and often takes its lead from them. The heart is constantly sending emotional signals to guide you to notice concerns and communicate what you've truly wants. I'm sure you can recognize some of these phrases that people often use driven by their heartbreak. The gut brain, the enteric nervous system lies within the wall of the digestive system. It consists of two thin layers of more than a 100 million nerve cells lining the gastrointestinal tract from the esophagus to the rect. 400 times. Small messages go up from the gut to the brain. Then from the brain to the gut. The gut brain can help you to better understand your intuition, your gut instinct. Responses in the stomach or intestines may send information about the situation to better understand your surroundings or to send susceptible feeling of danger. Again, I'm sure you can recognize some of these statements that people use driven by the gut brain. The brain decides around what you're thinking. The heart decides what you're feeling. Once the gut this side. So on the basis of the will to act a simple yes or no access, the combined wisdom of your brain, the feeling severe intrinsic cardiac nervous system around your heart, and the instincts of your enteric nervous system within your gut. When you take the three messages from your head, your heart, and your gut, you'll have a fuller perspective on how to take action and how to make appropriate decisions. 16. Emotions and Higher Order State: For years, it's been thought that he mentions that program and within the limbic system of the brain. However, as we've learned things in the brain and never quite as straightforward as they seem. Research published in 2017 by Joseph LeDoux and Richard Brown from New York University suggests that emotions are higher-order states that momentarily pass through these limbic circuits. All conscious experiences arise from one parts of the brain, the outer parts of the brain, the cortex. This circuits below the cortex didn't their limbic system provide unconscious inputs? These come together with other neural signals to create conscious emotional experiences. It's been found that the general networks of thinking and awareness process emotional experiences just as they do for any other conscious experience. And suggests that self-centred higher-order states are essential for emotional experiences. This isn't saying that the defensive survival circuits, promoted by fear of flights and fights play no part in the conscious experience. The circuits of the limbic system are involved in controlling the experience, but they're not directly responsible for it. This hypothesis at the modifications to a well-known theory of consciousness known as higher-order theory. Ledoux and brown conclude that emotions are higher-order States imbedded within circuits in the core text. This poses the question, can animation Zephyr be unconscious? The harnesses behind how this mechanism works are going to influence how we approach everything from decision-making to mental health. The implications of this are quite vast and quite profound, and it'll be interesting to see what further research shows as emotions are much more complex than we originally thought. 17. The Basic Human Emotions: Over the last 40 years, Paul Ekman, who is an American psychologist and anthropologist, has been a pioneer in the study of nonverbal communication and dimensions, and in particular their relationship to facial expression. Through a series of studies, he found a high level of agreement across members of Western and Eastern cultures. And even in isolated cultures on selecting emotional labels that fit facial expressions. The expressions that he found to be universal include those of anger, Thea, disgust, happiness, sadness, and surprise. It's now presumed that these are hardwired and physiologically distinctive. You'll recognize these summations yourself. With anger. There's a flushed face, eyebrows move inwards, the nostrils flare and the jaw clenching. With their eyes widen, pupils dilate. The upper lip rises and lips stretch horizontally. With disgust. The nose screws up. The ice screw up in the corners of the mouth, turn down. With happiness. The corners of the mouth rise up in a smile. The eyes, the cheeks rise, and the coordinates of the brows draw. With sadness. Eyelids droop, the coordinates of the mouth drop and the corners of the brows rise. With surprise. The eyebrows rise, eyes widen, forehead wrinkles, and the jaw drops open. These expressions are shown across the entire face, although these emotions can be shown as tiny expressions, and sometimes they register only in parts of the face. Subtle expressions may occur for many reasons. For example, the emotional experience may be very slight, or the emotion may just be beginning. Feeling and experiencing the facial expressions of others can lead to change here seen your emotional experience. Subsequently, poor black men added another basic human emotion to the six, but he originally identified that's of content or smoothness. Contempt is the only unilaterally expressed emotion as the only occurs on one side of the face. The eyes and neutral, the lips. Titan. But it see unilateral smile with the lip curled up on one side of the face. They see motion involves judgments and some feeling of superiority. There seems to be some debate as to whether this is a universal emotion, but it seems to be universally expressed. And he seems to be recognized by everyone. 18. More about Basic Emotions: Charles Darwin first suggested that emotions are innate, inborn and rooted in our ancestry in his book, expressions of Emotions in Man and Animals, published in 1872. Paul Ekman in the 60 showed through his psychological, an anthropological work, looking at basic emotions, that six basic stereotypical emotional expressions. Happiness via surprise, disgust, and sadness can be identified. This was his initial work and as we've seen, he's added to this. Since then, the debate has opened up. Dozens of studies have produced similar results. But it's now thought that basic emotions include shame, indicated by a downturned head and bent posture, and pride indicated by a puffed up chest and tall posture. These are social emotions. Their expression resembles the dominance and submission postures of other social primates, suggesting that they are inherited from very distant ancestors. 19. The Wheel of Emotions: Robert blue chicks, we'll have emotions extends the idea of basic emotions. This three-dimensional model describes the relationships between emotions, which is helpful in understanding the complexity of emotions as they interact and change over time. The eight sections indicate eight primary emotion dimensions. These are the six basic emotions that we're familiar with, with the addition of two extra anticipation and trust. Each of these emotions has an opposite emotion. The opposite of sadness, joy, the opposite of anger, fear. The opposite of anticipation is surprise. The opposite of trust is discussed. This makes a lot of sense. At the top of the code and in the center of the wheel, the emotions intensify. So for example, discussed becomes loading. If left unchecked emotions will certainly intensify. Moving from the sensor towards the three-dimensional codons apex, the emotions lesson. So that disgust becomes boredom. Finally, between the segments where the emotions have no color. In the two-dimensional model, the emotion is a mixture of the two primary emotions. So disgust and anger become contempt, and disgust and sadness become remorse. Emotions are often complex and interrelated and change over time. And this research goes some way to help her understanding. The skill with working with emotions is to recognize your own feelings and emotions, what they are and what they mean. 20. The Expression of Emotion: The Russian film director left cooler shop and made it his first film at the age of 19 and became a powerful figure in the Soviet film industry. He also made an astonishing psychological discovery. He ends cut shot survive and most Zukin, a Russian silent film star with three images, a bowl of soup, a child in an open coffin, and a glamorous young woman reclining on a Divan. People were impressed by most Zukin subtle acting showing hunger, grief and lust. But most Hawkins acting wasn't so soft dollars, nonexistent. As you can see, the very same shop was used in each case. Showing the relatively impassive face with scenes latent with emotion causes people to impose their own interpretations on most Hopkins emotional state. The coolish of effect is now widely used in cinema and is highly influential. The background of a still photograph can dramatically change how a face says read emotionally. Context turns out to be far more important than we imagined. Consider this photo of a woman. When you look at it alone, it can appear to be open to one interpretation by what we're seeing on her face. In this case, you're probably seeing anger and frustration. However, if we change the context, this can change. In the context of a crowd of supporters. She looks happy or even triumphant. The general principle here is that your brain interprets each piece of perceptual inputs to make as much sense as possible. In light of the wider context. Sometimes it's not that easy to accurately pick up on the emotional state of another person through their facial expressions alone. Here is an interesting optical illusion that demonstrates this. Look at these images. Get up from your seat to move back about three or four meters. What you'll notice in this optical illusion is that the faces appear to swap emotions so that the neutral face appears angry and the angry face appears neutral. What is the emotional state of this person? It's difficult to determine. Some people have a particular syndrome, it's called Moebius syndrome. It's a rare genetic disorder. And this means that they have a mask like expression. This is due to policies of the cranial nerves. Also, people who've had too many Botox injections have a mask like expression, and they are constantly showing happiness. In all of these examples, it's dangerous to make assumptions about a person's emotional state based purely on what you see on their face. Other expressions of underlying motion have to be reviewed. There isn't a distinct pattern of emotion that can be mapped in the brain as they're not that distinct and they appear to vary from individual to individual. Now everyone smiles when they're happy, or scales when they're angry. They emerge from the physical properties of your body. How your brain is wired through development and your culture and upbringing. They're not experienced and expressed universally. It's recently been suggested that emotions are cultural. Cultural display rules dictate which emotions are displayed and considered acceptable. And these guide how they're experienced. Some languages have labels for emotions that are not labeled in other languages. For example, to Heaton, don't have a word for Sadness. Does this mean that they don't experience this emotion? This is an interesting area of current debate and investigation. The German word Sheldon Freida indicates joy at someone else's misfortune. It has no equivalent in English. The skill around understanding emotions in others is to ask them, ask them what they're feeling and what it means to them. And to do this without prejudice or judgments. The learning points from all of this is not to make snap judgments on the basis of limited information. Keep an open mind to look for more evidence that will support or contradict your initial interpretation. 21. The Myth about Positive and Negative Emotions: One of the concepts that we need to explore resist this idea of positive and negative emotions. These are terms that are widely used and indeed they use by psychologists, some people working in the field of emotional intelligence from time to time. It's lazy and misleading. Emotion is so complex state of feeling results he give physical and psychological changes that influence our thoughts and our behavior. Emotions are controlled through interactions within the amygdala and hippocampus are complex, which are parts of the limbic system within our brains. This part of the brain is often referred to as the emotional brain. It has no language processing capabilities. Language is a function of the neocortex, the thinking parts about brain, and it's the neocortex that assigns labels to emotions. Emotions have developed over centuries, over eons through evolutionary processes as a survival guide to keep us safe and well. They serve as perfectly as long as we work with them effectively. Emotions are emotions. We experience them for a reason and they contain vital data or information. We shouldn't put the judgments hold animations as to whether they're positive or good, or whether they're negative or bad. Any emotion that we experience is not positive or negative. It's the thought process and the behaviors that they provoke that require the label. And emotion leads us to behave in a certain way. If an emotion leads us to behave in a way that causes annoyance and upset to others, then that is the important thing we should focus on is being negative. As we've seen, emotions and the workings of the brain are much more complex than a simple binary system, positive or negative. We all experience emotions that are pleasant and unpleasant. That's the nature of emotions. These emotions can be used either constructively or destructively. So let's make some more sense of this by considering these feelings of pleasantness and unpleasantness and how they can be used in constructive and destructive ways. There are thousands of emotions that have been identified, so we won't go into detail on every one. Let's consider a few basic emotions. Feeling pleasant, whom working in constructive ways leads us to work out how best to get into flow and engage with people harmoniously. Emotions that support their self contentment, happiness, pride, and exhilaration. It's great to work in this way, but it's also unrealistic to expect to work in this state continuously. Feeling unpleasant, turned working in constructive ways takes us out of our comfort zone where we're challenged. And this helps us to grow and develop and drive self-motivation. Emotions experienced here, our discomfort, frustration, anger, and anxiety will feel frustration or anger if our hard work isn't appreciated. Doing something positive about this will cause this to be anxious and uncomfortable and lead to some levels of stress. We all experience anxiety before we make an important presentation to a large group. Anger can help us to right a wrong or overcome an injustice and can act as a motivator to do things. Another example is the enjoyment we get from fear associated with horror movies and on roller coasters. Via stops us from taking unnecessary risks, such as walking across a busy road without looking. Sadnesses experienced this apart, bereavement. It's an unpleasant emotion but which allows us, us the chance to come to terms with our loss, to be thankful and then to move on. These feelings of unpleasantness swell be associated with physiological changes sudden depend with adrenalin, cortisol, another important biochemicals to help us deal with situations. Feeling pleasant and working destructively is when we react aggressively, passively or in passive aggressive ways, we experience feelings of relief and some comfort by acting passively and feelings of power by acting aggressively. But these are destructive in the long-term, affecting how others perceive us and our self-esteem. Happiness can be destructive when we take unnecessary risks or fails, communicates effectively with other people through lack of empathy. Nor is it an appropriate emotion to show it to solemn occasions such as a funeral? Other examples include the emotions of joy we feel plotting revenge or at someone's misfortune. Feeling unpleasant to working destructively is when we react with uncontrolled anger or live with her. Anxiety, distress, and inconstant Thea, leading to prolonged stress ultimately cause some problems with physical and emotional health. It's easy to see why they label of negative emotions is so readily applied here. In these situations on, with our focus on the emotions providing data, it's important to identify triggering events in the negative thoughts that surround the events. And overwhelming workload, for example. Remember that even in these situations it's not the emotions that are negative, they're just unpleasant, destructive. However, even this view may still be over-simplistic as it overlooks other dynamics such as the intensity of the emotion. What causes intense rage on one occasion may cause mouth frustration, or even ambivalence on another. The important thing to remember is not to label emotions is positive or negative, but looked to focus on the circumstances leading to the emotion, the behavior, and the outcome of that emotion. And consider those as being positive or negative. It's the way that you use your emotions that drives how you act or make decisions. And this drives your emotional intelligence. 22. How Emotions have been Mapped in the Body: Emotions originate in the brain, but can manifest as physical feelings throughout the body. Having you notice that you and I don't feel things like love and fear in our head. Emotions are felt in the chest, in our garage and in other areas. They just recognized and understood through our consciousness. We feel things in different parts of the body where the hidden energy centers that have no physical form are located. The Shack, Chris, it's believed that the seven chakras in the body regulates all parts of your bodily system, influencing emotional processing. A study of 700 men and women from different countries across the world, looked at how accurately emotions could be linked to bodily sensations. Researchers used stories, videos, and pictures to provoke emotional responses in the people in the study who they'd use to computer to record physical changes. Increased responses registered as warmer colors, while decreased responses registered as cooler colors. Certain emotions triggered strong sensations in the upper body. Other emotions registered as diminished sensations in the lower body. While some emotions combined both types of responses. In this way, emotions prepare us for any dangers, but also they prepare us to react to any opportunities such as pleasurable social interactions. Awareness of the corresponding bodily changes may subsequently trigger the conscious emotional sensations. The research may shed light on the basis of each emotion and their biological function. Mapping these physical changes could also lead to new methods for understanding and identifying mood disorders. 23. Ways to Map your Moods and Emotions: In order to get the best out of this part of the course, you need to manage your emotions. This is a really nice technique to help you to pay attention to your feelings. The key to developing emotional intelligence is to notice feelings and any science of early stress. By being more aware of your emotions and the emotions of others, you'll be able to spend more time feeling energized. And in a situation where you can renew yourself found renew your relationships. There are a number of key questions that I'm going to get Chu to consider. These questions can't be on so quickly. You'll have to reflect on them. You'll have to think about your answers. How much energy do you have right now? Energy goes from a lower arousal state to a high arousal state. I'm going to ask you to think about this. Notes in general terms. Not typically, not how much energy you want to have. It's how much energy that you have right now. The second components I'm going to get you to consider is how you're feeling right now. I'm going to get you to define how you're feeling in terms of how pleasant you feel or how unpleasant you fail. Again, this goes from low to high, unpleasant to pleasant. Where low is where you're feeling really unpleasant. And high is where you're feeling as pleasant as you've ever felt in your life. It's not how you want to feel. It's not telling you typically feel. It's how you feel right now. So think about this. I'll give you a few seconds after Avastin each question. How much energy to half right now? Is it very low? You're feeling very lethargic. Can't be both it or is it high, highly energized or raring to go? How you feeling right now? Is it low feeling quite unpleasant, feeling really down? Or is it really positive feeling, very pleasant feeling really, really good. Think about it. Where have you mapped to yourself this situation, the blue quadrant, where you have low energy and you're feeling unpleasant. This means that you could be tired or you could be sad. If you're feeling tired, you may be feeling burnt out, helpless, lethargic, or bowed. Feel sad. You may be feeling guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, miserable. If you're in the red quadrants, you're feeling unpleasant, but you've got high levels of arousal, high levels of energy. You may be feeling anxious or you may be feeling angry. If you're feeling anxious, you may be afraid, worried, insecure, or apprehensive. If you're angry, you may be feeling envious, furious, hateful, or irritated. Is it's in the green quarter where you have lower arousal, low energy, yet you're feeling quite pleasant. You may be feeling relaxed, content. If you're feeling relaxed, you may be feeling placid, calm, thoughtful, or peaceful. If you're feeling content, you may be feeling trusting, loving, appreciate it, or touched. Is it's in the yellow quadrant where you have high arousal and you're feeling really good. You may be feeling happy or excited. If you're feeling happy, you may be feeling proud, confidence, satisfied, or cheerful. If you're feeling excited, you might be feeling enthusiastic, playful, creative, or optimistic. All four quadrants are important. Moods change in the moment and they can be infectious. Mood is the noise, emotion is the signal. You may be receiving the signal from the emotion, but you may not be interpreting them well. Like signals, all emotions contain information. The key is to know that this signal know how you feel. No, What's information you're being given? So you can map those submissions to the task at hand. One question to ask is, what is the source of these emotions? What is the source of me feeling the way the time failing is it may, if this is the case, then manage the emotion and the mood. Is it the event? If this is the case, tend to what the emotion is telling you and work with it in an appropriate way. Try checking in a couple of times today using this process to start to build up a pattern of your feelings, to determine what it is, the striving the way that you're feeling, and how it's affecting your energy. The next step is to map the moods of the people that you work with, the people that you work for, or your clients and your customers. 24. Managing Emotions and Moods to Manage Stress: Now we've looked at a way for you to map your emotions and moods. Let's turn our attention to using this to notice how your feelings lead to stress. Homework you can do to recover. Being more aware of the emotions will help you to notice the science of stress early. Using the process of checking in a couple of times today will help you to build a pack. No viewer feelings indicate how often situations are leading to unpleasant feelings and new state of arousal. Also often an individual who performs effectively under normal circumstances swell dramatically derail went under stress and adversity. A continuous state of high arousal and unpleasant feelings associated with being anxious or being angry will lead to stress. Whilst the continuous states of lower arousal and unpleasant feelings associated with sadness and being tired will lead to burnout. Awareness of your emotions and moods will help you to identify what you need to do to manage these. The first step is to move from high arousal to low arousal. The next step is to move from a low arousal state with unpleasant feelings to a lower arousal state with pleasant feelings. What helps you to renew and feel more energized? How are you coping? What needs to happen so that you can manage your emotions and moods to give you more pleasant feelings. The way to cope with setbacks is to recognize where you are on the map and to work to change behaviors, to move through the cycle. Throb high arousal, unpleasant feelings, survival, too low arousal and unpleasant feelings adapting. And then from low arousal to pleasant feelings, recovery, and finally to high arousal, unpleasant feelings, thriving. In this way, you can move easily and quickly to build and develop your resilience. And so manage stress more efficiently. 25. Identifying Emotion and Working to Understand Emotion: Emotional Intelligence says all about using emotions appropriately. But what does working with and using emotion actually mean? Well, it's the capacity to work with emotion in order to focus attention and to reason with people in certain situations and to communicate with. The capacity to use emotion actually influences the way in which we think about things. And then it drives out decision-making. The way in which we make our deductions and come to conclusions. And we'll drag the way in which we are working with problems to solve the width creativity and innovation. Identifying emotion is an important part of emotional intelligence. And the way to do this is to start with identifying how you fail. And that will help you to identify how other people are failing. Look at emotions in different ways. Look for emotions in music. What music makes you happy? What calms you down? What actually energizes you? What music do you like to listen to, to get you to do things? What music makes you angry? Since emotions do not. Look at how pieces of art, pieces of poetry, pieces of literature make you feel what affects you. Try and work with other people to sense a fake emotion. People may say, I'm feeling very happy today when really you can sense They're not work out what the real emotion is a when it occurs. Most of fake commotion air. So when that occurs, stay open TO failings. Don't try and suppress them. But notice the way in which they blend together and the way in which you use your emotions with your thinking. Recognize your emotions in certain situations. I'm feeling particularly happy about this situation. These circumstances are making the cross. I'm really worried about going into this situation. Reflectively monitor the way in which your feelings change, in the way in which your emotions are occurring. All of these will help you to understand how you can work with the new situations more efficiently and more effectively. And so will help you to build your emotional intelligence. 26. How Emotions Drive Thinking and Behaviour: Emotions are organizing processes that enable individuals to think and behave. A more traditional perspective sees them as a disorganized interruption of mental activity that must be minimized and controlled. Pizza Salovey. Emotions are adaptive responses and former parts of the process of normal reasoning and decision-making. Emotions help the brain to make decisions by establishing priorities that are linked to learning and the memory process. When emotions are experienced, such as anxiety or frustration, the human brain is programmed to respond to the threat and an emotional response is triggered. However, acting on that first impulse can lead to things being said or done that until later regretted. Emotional intelligence means that whilst you acknowledge that emotion, you then take a step back from the situation and let rational thought to influence your actions. Emotions contain practical information about yourself and the environment around you. Managing this information is essential to personal well-being and for building relationships. Identifying, assessing, and expressing emotions inappropriate ways, enriches experience. Acknowledging, empathizing with and facilitating the emotional expression of yourself and other people enhances relationships. Emotions play out in private and in public to produce well-being, leadership. And flow. Flow is the experience to focus blissful expenditure of energy. Emotions can also result in distress, distraction, and being emotionally overwhelmed. 27. Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence Framework: All of my closest so based on emotional intelligence and how to develop it, emotional intelligence is a very complex construct, which looks very easy on the surface, but it's not easy to deeply understand and not EC2 develop. To American psychologists from Yale University, John D. Mayor and Peter Salovey first defined the phrase emotional intelligence in the academic literature in the 1980s. Daniel Goleman, another American psychologist, later built on their work, can published his well-known books on the subject in the 1990s. He also produced a framework for emotional intelligence, which makes it a lot easier to understand. This framework consists of five elements. Motivation is the drive to work and the drive to succeed. Motivation will differ from person to person. Most people are not necessarily motivated by money, but it can't become more important for some people than others. There are other motivating factors. And these can include security, doing things to the best of one's ability. Recognition and fear of failure. Self-awareness is an understanding about your strengths and Joe limitations and how these affect your performance and the way in which you interact with other people. Self-regulation or emotional regulation looks at understanding, managing, and controlling emotions. It's all about willpower. It's about how you can regulate your impulses to make good decisions. Empathy is about understanding things from other people's perspectives and how they view situations in a different way. Social skills are all about him influencing and persuading others, leading and managing through collaboration and resolving conflict. Whether you're working with people on a one-to-one basis, in small groups or in large teams. Your emotional intelligence sink compasses what goes on in your world. The inner world is what goes on inside your head, which involves self-awareness that leads to how you control yourself and your emotions. Self-awareness about how aware you are of your strengths and your limitations and the impact that these can have and you can have on other people. Self-regulation is about how you control yourself, how you control your emotions, and the ability that you have to think before you act. These impacts on how you behave in the outer world, influencing how you empathize with other people and how you use social skills. This is what people see. This is what people experience. This is what people know about you and your emotional intelligence. The outer world of empathy is all about how well you understand other people and their perspectives. How well you can see things from their viewpoint. Empathy then Dr. Shields, social skills. And these involve how well you communicate and interact with others on a one-to-one basis or when you're working in teams. So your awareness of yourself and your awareness of others leads to the actions and behaviors around your emotional management and how you interact with other people. Emotionally intelligent sits about awareness, awareness of yourself and awareness of others through self understanding and empathy. Emotional intelligence is also about action and behavior. Controlling yourself, regulating your emotions so that you can relate to others better and build healthy, effective relationships. None of this will work, of course, without the right attitude, the right drive and motivation. Motivation is about how you motivate yourself and how you motivate other people. There are other models of emotional intelligence, there are other frameworks, but they all follow a very similar framework to this one. 28. Emotional Intelligence as a Series of Abilities: In 1990, john jack Mayer and Peter Salovey introduced the concept of emotional intelligence, suggesting that some individuals possess the ability to reason about and use emotions to enhance thought more effectively than others. Through their research, they suggested that emotional intelligence is the set of four interrelated abilities. Perceiving emotions. The ability to detect and decipher emotions. Him faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artifacts, including the ability to identify one's own emotions. Using emotions, the ability to use emotions to facilitate cognitive activities such as thinking and problem-solving. Understanding emotions, the ability to comprehend the language of emotion and to appreciate complicated relationships among emotions and the way they evolve over time. Managing emotions, the ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others. 29. More about EI as a Set of Abilities: Emotion intelligence, scissors sets of abilities, sometimes referred to as skills. Emotion intelligence can be trained. First of all, emotional intelligence is about perceiving emotions, reading emotions in yourself and others beyond the answer fine or okay or good. When asked, how are you? Is that deeper answer? In answer to the question, you may be feeling mildly happy. Building upon this is the second durability. Using emotions to facilitate thought. We know that people feeling mildly happy are more likely to brainstorm and be innovative, to be agreeable, to agree to ideas and so on. The third Ability is about understanding these emotions. This involves understanding the underlying causes of the emotion, including where it came from. So you're mildly happy. Why is that? What events occurred today to bring out that emotion in you? Also, rather than saying mildly happy, It's involves being a little bit more specific. Using a more appropriate word, a better word. Is it satisfied, content, delighted, blissful? Is it happiness itself is a joyous. The ability means that these emotions are labeled correctly and accurately with greater understanding. The fourth Ability is about managing emotions. If our goal is to be open-minded and build a career of thinking about emotional intelligence. I want to manage your emotions to keep you in that slightly happy emotional state. And so I have to focus so that you and I both remain in that open, innovative state and communicated the best possible manner. 30. The 6 Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence: Six seconds is a global not for profit organization working in the field of emotional intelligence with an extremely good reputation. They research emotions in learning and performance and translate the science into practical tools that create value in education and in organizations. The six seconds model of emotional intelligence is very simple, so they can be understood by any party whatever their age. The first component is no yourself. It's about knowing yourself through your feelings, how you recognize your feelings, some patterns in your feelings, and how you use this information and the information contained in emotions. The second component is give yourself. This is about applying your thinking to working empathetically without those and their emotions in pursuing goals are ethical and Noble. The final component is choose yourself, particularly around how you act, what actions you take through your thinking and through navigating emotions. It considers optimism and motivation and focuses on the consequences of the action that is taken. All three work together with each component influencing the other. The core components then are feeling, thinking, and acting. All three, working in alignment means what we do is about knowing how to work with and use emotional information. Why we do it's just about giving yourself, having thought through the consequences. And how we do it is about choosing the right actions. All of these work together to give you your emotional intelligence. 31. Measuring and Assessing Emotional Intelligence: I've mentioned earlier in the course that EQ is strictly speaking, a measure of emotional intelligence. How is emotional intelligence measured? Since the 1990s therapy many commercial psychometric assessments that have become available based upon various models of emotional intelligence. Most of the well-known researchers have developed their own ways of measuring emotional intelligence. A good, effective psychometric assessment must be both reliable and valid. Reliable in the fact that if you were to take the assessments 12 weeks later, 12 months later, or 12 years later. The results are going to be fairly consistent and valid in that it measures what it says. It's going to punish her. For example, a tape measure or a ruler is valid for measuring length, but it's not valid for measuring weight. These assessments have to undergo rigorous scientific investigation and a backed up with an array of statistics to show that they work. Broadly speaking, there are three types of assessments which measure emotional intelligence. Ability based, trait-based, and makes model. Let's have a look at each of these in turn. The best, the most well-known ability based assessments is the Mayer Salovey Caruso Emotional intelligence test, known as the mesquite, built up from the letters of the test MSE, EBIT. This is modeled on ability based IQ tests. It's also consistent with the authors claim of emotional intelligence is a type of intelligence centered around a set of abilities. The test is built up of a series of emotion based problem-solving items whereby people are assessed as to whether they can pick up on animation since certain situations in pictures, in artifacts, in photographs, et cetera. Trait-based emotional intelligence assessments measure, as you would expect, traits. The most well known is the TE, IQ, and this refers to an individual self perception of their emotional capabilities and is investigated within a personality framework. Mixed model assessments combines emotional intelligence traits with abilities. Daniel Goldman suddenly realized that there was a very lucrative market in Psychometric and personality assessments. And so developed his emotional intelligence measure a few years ago. The emotional and social competency and venturi SCI was made available in 2000 and Safavid, this provides a behavioral measure of emotional and social competencies. A more established mixed model assessment is the emotional quotient inventory. The AQI 2. This incorporates personality and ability and was developed by roof on borrowed and Israeli psychologists back in the mid 90s. The AQI 2 is the most scientifically validated and reliable assessments have emotional intelligence based upon independent review. The QR 2 meshes self-perception, which links into self-expression. Self-expression links into interpersonal skills. Interpersonal skills, lincoln's decision-making capabilities. Decision-making capabilities link into stress management capabilities, and stress management capabilities link back into self-perception. All of these five components can be broken down into three facets of emotional intelligence. To give a greater degree of comprehension of a person's emotional intelligence at a much deeper level. These facets can then be measured when looking in the workplace, when looking outside of work, when assessing leadership capabilities, and also as part of a team. The QR 2 has some distinct advantages. Server other emotional intelligence self-assessment measures due to being translated into many languages. It has a variety of norms by which is assessed. And there's the availability of comprehensive 360 assessments. The EQIP 360 incorporates leadership comparisons. 360 assessments offer useful insights from other people's perspectives and gives a different view of a person's emotional intelligence in a number of different ways. Also, the impact that this person's emotional intelligence has on their interactions with other people can be assessed and analyzed. Whatever assessments is used, they're all useful as a basis for exploring emotional intelligence to deeper level. They're greater highlighting strengths and areas for improvement and to support coaching conversations. The assessments help a person to understand themselves better, to grow, and to help with their comprehension of emotional intelligence. And how they are using their emotional intelligence to good effect. As a cautionary measure, it's important for me to point out that there are some free assessments available on the Internet. These are not really reliable or valid, but they can be useful because they help to build people's understanding of emotional intelligence. 32. The Three Types of Empathy: Understanding other people's emotions is a key skill of working with emotional intelligence. Empathy helps to resolve conflict, to improve relationships with coworkers, clients, customers, and people that you come in contact with on a daily basis. And to build more productive teams. Using empathy well, create stronger connections, builds a culture of honesty and openness. It makes a real difference to emotional well-being and productivity for ourselves and for other people. Well, most people are confidence about learning new technical skills. Many feel ill-equipped to develop inter-personal skills that many people are self-conscious about discussing their own feelings nevermind anyone else's. In its simplest form, empathy is the ability to recognize emotions in others and to understand their perspective on a situation. At its most developed empathy enables the use of that insight to improve someone else's mood and to support them through challenging situations. Empathy is a vital leadership skill. It develops through three stages. Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand what's another person might be thinking or feeling. It doesn't necessarily involve any emotional engagement by the person who's doing the observation and showing cognitive empathy. Cognitive empathy is useful in understanding how people are feeling. It can be used in the work setting to decide what style of leadership would help to get the best from them. Salespeople can use it to gauge the mood of a customer, helping them to choose the most effective tone for a conversation. Cognitive empathy is mostly rational, intellectual, and an emotionally neutral ability. It means that some people could use it negatively to manipulate people who are emotionally vulnerable. Emotional empathy is the ability to share the feelings of another person. And so to understand them on a much deeper level, it's sometimes called affective empathy because it affects or changes people's mood. It's not just a matter of knowing how someone feels, but of creating genuine rapport with them. For some people, this kind of empathy can be overwhelming. People with very strong empathetic tendencies can become immersed in other people's problems or pain, sometimes damaging their own emotional well-being. And this is particularly true if they haven't got a mechanism to help to resolve the situation. If you feel yourself overwhelmed by emotional empathy, then it's important to take breaks, checking your boundaries, and strengthening your ability to cope with the situation that you find yourself. Anyone who leads the team will benefit from developing at least some emotional empathy. It helps to build trust between people and to develop honesty and openness. This type of empathy is most valuable when it's combined with some form of action. Compassionate empathy is the most active form of empathy. It involves not only having concern for another person and sharing their emotional pain, but also taking the practical steps to reduce it. For example, if you find one of your colleagues is upset and angry because if he or she has delivered an important presentation that hasn't gone particularly well. Acknowledging their hurt is valuable and affirming their reaction by showing signs of those feelings yourself to be more so. Best of all, is putting aside some time for them, listening and offering some practical support or guidance on how to get through the situation and prepare for next time. Using empathy with the emotional intelligence involves using all three types of empathy. But knowing how and when each type of empathy as appropriate. 33. Ways to Develop Empathy: Developing empathy can be a struggle to work with initially, you may be nervous about committing yourself emotionally or failure unable to do so. But this doesn't mean to say that you're not able to do it at all. To use empathy effectively, you need to put society your own viewpoints, and to see things from another person's perspective. It's keeping an open mind and asking the right type of questions. This will help you to recognize the behavior that appears at first sight to be over emotional, stubborn, or unrealistic or unreasonable as simply a reaction based on a person's prior knowledge and experiences. Here are some techniques that you can follow so that you can start to work with empathy and so that it can become second nature to you. Give your full attention to another person. Listen carefully to what someone is trying to tell you. Use your ears, eyes, and instincts to understand the entire message that they're communicating. Not necessarily the words that they're using, but the meaning of the words and the meaning behind the words. Start with listening out for keywords and phrases that they use, particularly if they're using them repeatedly. Think about how, as well as what they're saying. What's the tone once their body language telling you, Are they angry, ashamed, scared, feeling guilty? What is it that they feel like? This a stage further by listening empathetically. Avoid asking direct questions, assessing and debating what's being said or disputing facts at this stage. Be flexible. Prepare for the conversation to change direction as the other person's thoughts and feelings also change. Consider other people's perspectives. This is walking in another person's shoes. It's seeing things from a completely different perspective. It's seeing things from their perspective, from their viewpoints. In order to do this, it's important to examine your own attitude and keep an open mind. Placing too much emphasis on your own assumptions and beliefs. It doesn't leave much space for empathy. Once you see why others believe what they believe, you can understand it better, doesn't mean to say that you have to agree with it. This is not the time to change their minds and to have a discussion. Instead, be sure to show respect and keep listening when in doubt, invite the person to describe their viewpoints in more detail and ask how they think they might resolve the issue. Asking the right questions is probably the simplest and most direct way to understand the other person. Take action. There's no right way to demonstrate compassionate empathy will depend upon the situation, the individual, and the emotion that's prevailing at the time. Remember, empathy is not about what you won't, but it's what the other person wants and needs. Any action you take or any action that you suggest must be a benefit to them. For example, someone may be unable to focus on their work because we're problem at home. It may seem the kind of thing to do to tell them that they can work from home until the situation is resolved. But work may in fact give them a welcome or a spite from thinking about something that's going on in the home environment. Wholesome, which approach they would prefer. Empathy is not just for crisis. Seeing the world from a variety of perspectives is a great talent. And it's one that you can use all the time. In any situation. Random acts of kindness brighten everyone's day. Smiling and taking the trouble to remember people's names is empathy and action. Giving people your full attention in meetings. Being curious about their lives and interests, and offering constructive feedback are also empathetic behaviors as well. Practice these skills often. When you take an interest in water this think, feel and experience, you'll develop a reputation for being caring, trustworthy, and approachable. And these are all fundamental components of being emotionally intelligence. 34. The Rules of Rapport to Develop Social Skills: Few of us needs to get on with everyone, but most of us would like to get on with some people better than others, particularly the people we work or live with. When we communicate with other people, we usually have a positive intention, but the way we come across can have a negative impact on them. This means that they are less likely to go along with what we want sudden this an influence gap between what we intended and what we achieved. If you know what's driving your behavior and are aware of how you come across. You can adapt your behavior if you want to. If you can pick up on cues from other people about what might be driving their behavior. You can respond more appropriately. This is emotionally intelligent behavior. Before the interaction, get yourself into the right mindset. Are you looking forward to the interaction? What you want from it? What do you hope will happen? Thinking about what you want will shape what you say at how you say it. Be mindful of how you're feeling, how you're feeling will have an impact on how you come across. If you're hungry, you might come across as irritable. If you're tired, you might come across as lacking energy. If you're worried, you might come across as tense. Bear these in mind as you communicate and work with the interaction accordingly. Banish negative thinking. When we're nervous about something, we can imagine the worst. Be aware of this, and think more realistically, logically and healthfully. They may be thinking negatively to start with the end in mind, clarify the purpose for your communication. What is it that you want to achieve? Why are you communicating? Keep your purpose in mind during the interaction. Consider the person that you're building rapport with. Put yourself in their shoes. What might they want from the communication? What might engage them? Think about how you want them to feel when you communicate with them. Do you want them to feel angry, bored, confused, or nervous? Probably not. You probably want to make them feel clear, confident, curious, and relaxed. How can you tailor the content and delivery of your message to elicit the emotional response that you're looking for. When you meet someone, whether it's for the first time or someone that you know well, invest time in building rapport. Make eye contact. Ask them how they are and what's been happening. Show an interest in them and listen to their answers. You can often tell if people share rapport because their body language and speed and tone of voice will be similar. Match the other person's energy and body language and gestures. But not so much that they think that you're imitating them. If they speak quickly and appear animated, speed up your own response. They talk calmly and quietly. Slow down. If you match in this way, you will increase the rapport between you and provide a sound basis for developing the relationship. Mismatch creates an obstacle to report. Pay attention to their response. If you're alert to someone's reaction, you will know whether they've received your comments as you intended. If their reactions, surprises or puzzle shoe. This is an indication that your communication has gone awry. Ask them up, they're thinking. Most people like talking about themselves. So our scoping questions to get the conversation going. Use questions beginning with Watson, how rather than y? Since y questions can make people respond defensively. Build on the answers to develop the conversation. Manage your mood during the conversation. Pay attention to feelings. If you notice that you're starting to feel angry, bored, or tense, take action to manage this mood. Get up, walk around and change your speed and tone of voice or say something positive. We all get frustrated when people don't see things in the same way that we do and have different preferences. Remind yourself than in most cases, they're not deliberately trying to annoy you. They just being themselves. When you feel frustrated, take timeout, pause before speaking. This gives you some time to think. Can decide what to say and do. Conflicts going to occur. And they can escalate quickly because of our flight or fight response. And this occurs before a more considered response kicks in. When you disagree, avoid emotive language and personal attacks. Take the heat and the pay sets of the situation by using a calm tone of voice and measured body language. Dope point. Don't shout or wave your arms about. Look for common ground on which to build agreement. Most importantly, show respect for the other person. Even when you disagree. People are sensitive to a perceived lack of respect. We all have a deep seated need to feel that we matter, are respected and alike. So even during conflict, treat other people as if they are important to you and you want to get on with the conversation onto the future and how to resolve any disagreement. Use phrases, searches. Would you be willing to in order to find areas of agreement on how to move forward. At the end of the interaction, clarify any decisions or actions that you've agreed upon. Your leaf on good terms and talk about when you're going to meet again. 35. Practising Emotional Intelligence: Here are six ways in which you can practice emotional intelligence. The first way is to consciously tune into your emotions. When you've been ignoring your emotions for years, it can be quite challenging to tune into them. Notice what is happening in your body with each emotion. Is your jaw tight? Is your back saw how your fists clenched? Is your brow furrowed? Physical sensations can give clues as to what you're experiencing emotionally. Try scanning your whole body to determine what you are experiencing physically and how this relates to your thinking and what you're feeling. As you practice this, you'll become more skilled at noticing feelings, even some small subtle wardens. The next way is to look at layers of feelings. Frequently when people experience animation, they focus on the most stopped via so most intense emotion. For example, in an arguments it's easy to notice that you're angry, but there are other feelings that surround this. Maybe you're feeling scared or anxious or lonely or an loved. These emotions can happen all at the same time. One doesn't cancel the other one ounce. They actually exist together creating a rich tapestry of emotion. So when you're experiencing and intense feeling, ask yourself, what else am I feeling? In an argument? You're probably expressing anger as the most intense feeling. But in theory, you can choose to express any of the feelings. Focus your energy and attention on one of these feelings versus another. Deliberately select a feeling and work on intensifying it. A tip is to think about how an actor or actress would work to express this feeling. What happens? As you practice, you'll find it will be easier to bring one of your feelings to the four. It's not about being insincere. It's about choosing one of your feelings as a new starting point. The next way to practice emotional intelligence is to consider being more optimistic, but in a realistic way. When you're caught up in situations that don't seem to be going right, it's easy to become quite pessimistic. This can limit your thinking, especially if your options seem limited. While sometimes it's reasonable and useful to be sad, critical, scared, or even helpless and desperate. You're not likely to solve a problem if you stay in that state. The secret is realistic optimism. And the secret to realistic optimism is to allow yourself to feel these feelings and use these to clarify the problem, enabling you to create new options for finding solutions. Acknowledge the seriousness of the problem, and consider alternatives from a realistic perspective. What is it that you need to learn, strengthen, or to get some help with so that you can implement these solutions. Are there any people or books or websites or other resources that can help you? Practicing this will build the way that you work with optimism and strengthen your growth mindset. In time, you'll find it easier to acknowledge the true nature of the problem and to create solutions to the problem simultaneously. The next way is to ask, is this a factual issue or a relationship issue? You'll be able to process factual information easily as your brain will have been trained to analyze data at school and at work. Emotional days. Sure about the impact on people in relationships is important, but you have to build your skills to consider these. Many people find this difficult and are so focused on being rights that they ignore emotional data. Consider everyone involved to make a concerted effort to believe that their views are just as important is yours. And they could be just as writers you are. This helps to open up new perspectives and to build empathy. The final way builds upon this, as you ask yourself, what will create the most value for all of us? With so many demands on you, it's easy to become overwhelmed by competing needs and to take your short-term focus in the face of uncertainty. Look at creating value for everyone by thinking about the problem from a points in the future, say five years from now. By doing this, you will get a longer-term view, a longer-term perspective leading two options that will still matter in five years time, focusing attention and energy on what is most important. Emotional intelligence can be practiced easily without special equipments or a big financial investment, without traveling anywhere or needing a team. You can practice it every day and you can practice it anytime. And in any situation. 36. The One Percent Solution and One Minute Levers: Developing your emotional intelligence may seem to be extremely difficult. When people are making changes in their emotional intelligence, they often assume an all or nothing mindset, a dramatic change in their behavior or stay as they are. However, there is an alternative. The 1% solution, identify something that will constitute a very small but slight improvements and work on it. Work on it every day to make it an unconscious happened. As time goes by, the small improvements accumulates, and you certainly find a very big gap between how you were and how you've improved. What small changes can you make, what you're going to do differently? What will the impact be? A good example is, when you arrive at work, say good morning consistently to a particular person. Over time, you'll notice a shift in their attitude and behavior, and this will affect your attitude and behavior. You'll also notice people who make slightly better decisions on a daily base system, those who don't. The one-minute lever is another technique that works well to help you make small, consistent changes. Identified three 20-second leavers that will help you improve in one particular area. Make a commitment of a minimum of 20 seconds concentrated effort for each area. Apply these three times a day. After month. You will have spent half an hour focusing on making changes for each small change, and you'll be making considerable progress. It doesn't matter if you mess it up, but try not to give up. You're going to make some progress. Even if it's only a slight improvements. Making the changes requires repetition and rehearsal over a number of weeks. You should continue to practice in the coming weeks and months. Focus and commitments combined with other change his senior approach, your attitude and your understanding will all be working together to improve your overall emotional intelligence. 37. Becoming More Emotionally Intelligent: Emotional Intelligence can be practiced. Dimensional intelligence can be developed through learning. Here are seven steps to improve your emotional intelligence. However, it's important for me to stress that whilst the slope very, very simple, that extremely hard to put into practice, they take a lot of commitments under lots of dedication. I am responsible for my own feelings. I am responsible for my own behavior. I always have choices about how I respond to situations, to events and to people. No one could make me upset, angry, or happy, or experience any other emotion unless I choose to allow them to do so. Identifying my choices, empowers meets, take a fresh look at my behavior. Recognizing my range of choices is an excellent way to start changing my behavior for the better. I can practice and die can learn new and more effective behaviors. 38. Speaking in Emotionally Intelligent Ways: Not too long ago, I was a few miles from my destination to enjoy a short holiday where I was involved in a minor shunt. My car was badly damaged front and back. Somebody drove into the back of me, pushing me into a parked car. This car wasn't as badly damaged as the car in this picture. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. The owner of the car was rather annoyed to say the least. My response was to say, I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. How can I help you sort things out? The accident was not my fault, but this was the response that help to contrast this with the language that is often used when accidents occur causing us to be delayed or that interrupt their travel plans. The company would like to thank you for your patience and apologize for any inconvenience caused. Speaking in this manner wouldn't have helped people in business results using a weird, an inadvertent language a lot. We speak like a human at home, but some kind of bilingualism at work. This impacts upon our emotional intelligence as leaders. Go back to the all too common phrase, we apologize for any inconvenience this might've caused. Would you say that to your manager if you were late in delivering an important report to your partner when you are late, picking them up from the station late at night, you might be met with some less than emotionally intelligent responses. Any inconvenience is emotionally week and lacks any specificity to make it meaningful. We apologize, is much better. It's distancing yourself almost to the point of dismissive. When you say, I'm sorry, you're owning the problem. When you say I apologize, You didn't take any ownership. Speaking like this says mistakes were made rather than we messed up and claims to take responsibility. Instead of acknowledging it's my fault. This professional business gobbledygook, not emotionally intelligent. The word gobbledygook is an official word in the Oxford English Dictionary. Using business speaker work suggests that the distance of professional language is inherently strong and the closeness of personal language inherently weak. But this idea may be wrong. Over the years, I've worked with a lot of doctors practice segments. Many doctors worry about patients who could potentially sue them for malpractice. Lawyers, council doctors, never to admit to a mistake. This might be good advice, but it's the lack of emotional intelligence, the lack of understanding, empathy, and compassion, which will get them into trouble. It's their attitude which will get them Sue, not necessarily their clinical negligence. When people are treated rudely, they're more likely to behave vengeful. But when rudeness is followed by clear and simple, I'm sorry, the annoyance dissipates. People tend to behave as honorably as they do in ordinary circumstances. I found evidence shows that when doctors apologize for errors, engage with people on an emotional level and show how they'll avoid it in the future. That is, when they talk and act like human beings, aggrieved patients think more highly of the physician, less likely to sue. Interestingly, this more human approach is linked to behavior and personality. Like any valuable relationship, the ones we have in business hinge on trust. And trust depends on openness, respect to humanity. Here we often resist taking that approach in our professional lives. Even though we know it would be absurd to do anything else in our personal lives in a world awash in information and choices. Clarity is now a source of competitive advantage. Try a little experiment, says an emotionally intelligent leader for the next week or so, go monolingual and speak only human at work. Don't say anything to your manager, your staff, your colleagues, your supplier, or your customer that you wouldn't say to your mother, your partner, or your friend. It might surprise people at first, but I suspect they'll reply using similar language. And you might start actually understanding each other better and getting things done. However, if I'm mistaken and this experiment doesn't work, I apologize in advance for any inconvenience caused. 39. Why Being Selfish, Prejudiced and Narrow Minded is Emotionally Intelligent: Combining thinking with feelings to make quality decisions, some build authentic relationships, underpins your emotional intelligence. And self-awareness is the key components of this. Beyond the obvious awareness of your strengths and liabilities, along with how they play out in the impact that they have, is an awareness of how your attitude could impact upon your emotional intelligence. That's your state of mind around a situation, events, or state of affairs. To a certain extent. Everyone's selfish. Everyone has prejudices, and everyone is narrow-minded. But your self-awareness surround these could make you much more emotionally intelligence. Let's have a look at being selfish. Being self is completely different from being self-centered. Caring only about your own needs, wants some priorities. Looking after and taking care of your physical health and psychological well-being. By engaging in good eating habits, exercise, sleep, relaxation, and enjoyable activities will mean that you'll be well enough to help and take care of others. This puts you in a better position to benefit others. It's flights, attendance still passages in the events of the cap in depressurized saying secure your own oxygen mask first before helping others. If you don't look after yourself in appropriate ways first, you're not going to be capable of providing the best support to others. Let's have a look up being prejudice. Bias is a prejudice in favor of or against something that's considered to be unfair. This could be a person or group or just something. Biases may be conscious, explicit, or unconscious. They are implicit. Unconscious bias is by its very definition, something that you're not consciously aware of. And so it's not easily open to you to examine or observe in yourself. Your awareness and acceptance of this means that you can be alert to unconscious bias. And so constantly check for it. Having cognitive strategies such as engaging perspectives and opinions litter different from yours. Checking your assumptions and listening will help to reduce unconscious bias. Finally, let's have a look at big, narrow-minded. You pay attention to certain things in order to create your moments to moments, perception of reality. Your brain can't possibly process every elements of an experience. It has to prioritize what it believes to be important. Everything else is just lost or blurred. Recognizing that your mind is susceptible to blindness, narrowly focusing on only a small part of what's happening is good start. Asking good quality quest students enables you to remove any arrogance around what you experience and to continually inquire about what you're missing or may have overlooked. Accepting that you are selfish prejudice, narrow minded, will help you to reduce any misconceptions that you may have about yourself and how emotionally intelligent you are. By continually checking and adapting to watch you learn, you can increase your self-awareness and this then drives your emotional intelligence. 40. Do's and Don'ts around EI: Let's explore some do's and don'ts around using emotional intelligence. Starting off with don'ts, don't assume that you don't bring your emotions to work with you. You don't leave them at home. How do you feel about your job? To love it? Do you hate it? The way in which you answer that question, we'll give you an indication that there's some emotional component. So the way in which you approach your work, don't think that emotional intelligence is not relevant for your job. It's not relevant in every job, but any job that involves influencing, persuading, and developing relationships with people, impulse, emotional intelligence. Any decisions you need to make at work are going to be underpinned by how you feel about the situation and how this influences your thinking and your intuition. Don't think that your emotional intelligence needs no further development. It does. We're continually learning and growing as situations change and evolve around us. You'll be continually assessing the ways in which you work with other people and so continually improving how you adapt to round them. Leadership, teamwork, organizational skills, change management, conflict management all involves some elements of emotional intelligence. Don't use emotional intelligence to manipulate people in situations to your advantage. Don't play on people's fears and insecurities to get them to do what you want. And that includes taking advantage of them when they're happy. This also includes being overly critical, criticizing others this often and unconscious defense mechanisms to alleviate our own insecurities. And this is not being emotionally intelligence. We're all critical sometimes, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. To think carefully and critically about the world around us is a vital skill. It helps us navigate the world in our relationships in an objective way. Helpful criticism is about making the world better. Unhelpful criticism is about making yourself feel better. Here are some do's to consider around emotional intelligence. Think about how you emotionally react to other people. How do they make you feel? How does another person's behavior influence your emotions and how you behave towards them? How do you use the underlying emotions and those feelings in terms of building relationships? Consider ways in which you might test and develop your emotional intelligence. There are many good quality assessments and psychometrics that will measure and evaluate how you're working with your emotional intelligence. The best-known a disc, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and some emotional intelligence questionnaires. They can give you some really valuable insights that will develop your self-awareness. Consider working with a coach who can help you to determine how you're engaging with your emotions. They can give you an understanding around how you're reacting to situations and offer you new perspectives. Ask yourself honestly, how well do you react to the concerns of other people? How do you use your empathy? How important is it for you to see things from different viewpoints? Can you see things from other perspectives? How much does your attitude and your way of thinking prevents you from keeping an open mind? How can you use the power in emotional intelligence? How can you help others to touch them, influence them, and make the world a better place for everyone. And finally, enjoy working with your emotional intelligence. 41. The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Intelligence Review: I hope you've enjoyed this class on emotional intelligence. Whilst it's just uninterested luxury class, we've covered quite a bit. Having way. We've looked at what emotional intelligence is somewhat emotional. Intelligence is not. We've explored what some of the academics have had to discover around the application of emotional intelligence and how you can apply emotional intelligence of work in social settings and a home. We've explored emotions, what they are, what they mean and how you can manage your emotions in order to build up authentic relationships and make better quality decisions. Don't forget to complete the project, which accompanies the video lessons. I recommend that you work with this as it will help you to look at ways in which you can apply your emotional intelligence away from the class. The only way in which you can improve your emotional intelligence is to understand what impact you're having on other people. So this activity has been designed to help you to do this and to get some feedback so that you know what you need to do to make the improvements to increase and develop your emotional intelligence. I know how easy it is just to watch the video lessons and then give up. But you're not going to improve your emotional intelligence that way. I'm here to help you and answer any questions that you may have. I'd be very interested to find out how you get on.