The Complete Confidence Course | Explode Your Confidence!

1. Beginning the Transformation: Hey there. My name is not on, not on a jet, and I'm your new self confidence coach. Let's go over the course and talk about how we're going to make you the most confident version of yourself. First of all, we need to set up the foundations. So right after this lecture, there's gonna be a resource available for you. It's our outline, our manifesto, if you may, it's gonna cover how we're going to make you the strongest version of yourself and tackle the steps we're gonna take to develop your confidence. But before we do that, I need you to make me a promise. And listen carefully here, because I'm not gonna be able to help you transform yourself unless you're willing to change your mindset. Promise number one. You will do every activity I outline in this course. Some of them are quite scary, like speaking to people in public. But you're gonna need to do it in order to develop. If you've never done something like that before, even better, because the growth that you're gonna experience from doing something new is going to propel you for so that you could become the most confident version of yourself. Promised number two. You're not going to slack off. Confidence takes practice every day. It's like a muscle. If you hide in your room every day, it's gonna be harder to be confident the next day. I know you need to break sometimes, but you're going to need to try. Even if you're an introvert, you need to try every single day. Promise number three. If you need help at any time, you will seek it in the Q and a section of this course. If you truly wish to remain anonymous and don't want to do that, I understand. But if you can, I would greatly appreciate it because so many people are going through the same struggles as you, and your question could help somebody else. My goal is to make you fearless and powerful, and even if you fear my goal is to make you push forward, don't let anything or anybody stand in your way because we are going to make a change. Please see the supplemental resource I've attached after this lecture for a brief rundown of what you can expect 2. Stop Caring About the Opinions of Others: so it's very difficult to stop caring about things in life. I mean, we're expected to care about stuff. What if you woke up one day and you said no? What? I don't care about putting pants on. I don't care about going to work. Your bills would have a big problem. You wouldn't be ableto pay them, that's for sure. You wouldn't be able to do anything with your life, really? Because you simply stopped caring. But what if you stopped caring about certain things and started caring about the things that matter most? You imagine what would change. So here's how to stop carrying about things on becoming more confident. Because if you force yourself to care about something, you don't care about it because you're afraid of disappointing somebody else, you're gonna feel less confident. Here's a concrete tip you can employ right now to stop carrying about what other people think and start doing. You take out a pen or pencil any writing utensil right now, you could pause this video if you need to just hit the pause button, but go and do that right now. Okay, now that you have your pen or pencil and you're handing notebook, but I want you to do it. Could be on your phone as well. It really doesn't matter is write down the things that you care about the things that you want to accomplish in life. It can be anything, and I don't want you to feel bad if you want to make a lot of money right there. If you want the most attractive girlfriend or boyfriend the world, write it down there. If you want the best food served to you in bed every day, write it down. Write down two things that you care about. On the next step. I want you to flip the page, and I want you to write down the things that's just simply don't care about Doesn't matter if you have to do them. There's a key difference if you really, really have to go to work every day, but you don't care about it because you don't like it. Write that down that right down I don't care about going to work. If it doesn't matter to you if it doesn't make your heart happy, you don't care about it. Write down everything you don't care about on that second page. Now, if you have to go ahead and flip the page out, I want you to look at the side by side. When you're ready and you've written all those things down, I want you to look at them side by side, examined the things you care about and the things you don't. Here's a funny piece of advice. Stop doing the things you don't care about it. May some mind blowing what? I have to do those things. If I don't do those things, I'm gonna lose my job. You know what? So be it. What I want you to do is create the lifestyle that allows you to do the things you care about. And when you stop doing things you don't give a damn about because it's so important for you to live the life you want toe live. You can't be living somebody else's dream if you want to be confident. Society has taught us to become conformists, toe listen to what other people want and to build their dreams. If you're gonna build your dreams, you don't have to move from the I don't care list all the things I care about list in one day. It's a process. But now at least you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. It could be difficult to do this. It will be difficult to quit a job. It could be difficult to stop doing something you've been doing for a long time. What other choice do we have? We have to do that if we want to be confident. Confidence is about taking control of your life and being confident to take those risks. Because if you're scared of taking those risks, you're not confident. Confidence camera, guys. Confidence being scared, Don't be scared. Be confident and do those things. It's gonna be a processor you're gonna need to make a plan. But we're gonna go ahead and build on what we're doing now to make sure you're more confident 3. Interrupt Thought Patterns: the key to doing things that you care about, although you're afraid to do them is by interrupting thought patterns. I'm going to explain it to you right now. If you care about getting a partner, that's very important to you. To get somebody that you are going to date, you'll notice that they're small obstacles. Generally, if you don't have a lot of confidence in the way of you doing that, for example, you may see someone that you think is very attractive, and you're about to go up to them and talk to them. Before you do that, your brain goes through a whole bunch of annoying spirals like, Oh, what if they don't like me? Oh, what if I don't know what to say? What happens if they think I'm weird? You have those thought patterns. Next time you have them, I want you to do this. Count backwards from five. When you do this, it's been scientifically proven to interrupt thought patterns because you can actually focus on two things at once. Multitasking is technically impossible, so when you actually count down from 5 to 0, you do it fast. 543 210 you're interrupting the thought pattern in the negativity. And right after you're done, I want you to pretend that you're supercar, that you're fast, that you're pumped, that you're charged. Once you interrupt that thought pattern, go up to that person and talk to them. Do that for anything you want to accomplish. Do that for everything on that list that you want to do. If you want to go ahead and build an online business and you're thinking Oh, no, I shouldn't do that. If you feel your confidence going down, I don't care what it is. Go ahead and do that thing. 54321 And once you do that, you're gonna notice that your ableto act follow your heart. You want to say something, but you're too scared. Count down from five. You can't wake up in the morning because you feels, you know, sad. You're not confident that you're gonna, you know, score that job at that interview. You're not confident that you're really gonna do a great job speaking to that public audience Count down from five. That's one key to interrupt negative thought patterns on becoming more confident your brain is going to get used to doing everything that you tell it to without the negative voice coming back. Once you start crushing that negative voice, you're going to start feeling more confident. So practice that method. It's scientifically backed. It's proven and let me know what you think CNX lecture. 4. Say Whats On Your Mind: one key to becoming more confident is saying What's on your mind. It can be very difficult. Sometimes We don't know that person. It just seems to say everything it seems that come to them and they're very charismatic. They don't have to think they're not talking slowly and looking scared and just contemplating all the time. They're speaking their animated, their charismatic. Now we're going to get into charisma and break that down. But before we do that, you want to talk about saying things that are on our mind more often. So many bad things happen in this world because people don't say what's on their mind. They don't stand up for the things they believe in. And then we have people running rapid and crazy talking about the things that they believe in and, you know, chanting them from the top of buildings because they believe in them. But your opinion is just it could be better. You know, you are an amazing person, so if there's something on your mind, you should say it on. This goes back to interrupted negative thought patterns. If you feel like you can't say anything, just go ahead and do it. If you don't, you don't feel the urge inside of you. Interrupt it. You'll have the strength, trust me and say You need to say what's on your mind and it's gonna be scary in the first couple of times. If you don't agree with what somebody says or you're in a classroom and you're with a teacher environment, you don't put up your hand interrupted and say it If you're with your boss, get used to having one on one conversations. I mean, you don't have to say something negative in front of a bunch of people if it is negative, or if you think it's gonna be a touchy subject, but go up to somebody and say, Hey, you know, I love to talk with you one on one. The amount of leverage of how you're going to gain from that is amazing. You need to be able to say what you want, and I know it's difficult, but by practicing this by always speaking what's on your mind, you're gonna become more authentic, more natural. And in the end of the day, you're gonna become more confident. People are gonna admire you because they're gonna know your authentic and your true You're not a liar. You're covering up who you are. Inauthenticity is one of the number one killers of charisma, and it's also a number one killer of your confidence because you're constantly reminding yourself, toe, you know, reinvent the way that you're portraying yourself on the spot. You're teaching yourself that you're not good enough, so you have to hide who you are. You have to pretend to believe in certain values. What you need to do is write down things you believe in right down her politics, right down everything about yourself, and you need to tune in tow other people who also share your views if you believe that guinea pigs should rule the world wonderful, go and find a group started group and talk about that so you can practice saying what's on your mind there. So with this lecture, I'm gonna leave you with one thing. Think about what's important to you. Think about who you are. Think about your beliefs, not make me a promise, and make yourself more importantly, make yourself a promise that you're never, ever going to drop them. To make somebody else happy, you need to promise yourself now and you need to keep practicing it. And what do you do that I want you to go on? Find a group if you're at work or in the community. If you can't find a group, find people that share your view so you can speak to them about your views and have a mirror you and say, Yeah, that's amazing. That's good. To reinforce your opinions, you need that it's gonna make you stronger. It's gonna make you more powerful. It's gonna make you confident. I can't wait for the next part because it just builds on what we're doing here. CNX like ship. 5. Remove Negativity: one major piece of advice I'm gonna give you your boosting Your confidence is to remove negative things from your life. If you have people in your life that are very negative or they never listen to your dreams and your goals stop telling them that. Because if you keep doing that is going to start bringing you down, you need to completely shut those people out of your life. And if you're wondering how to do that, I'm gonna help you with that right now and give you concrete advice on how to fix it here. It iss simply stopped talking in them. It's a simple as that and then may get upset the beginning. But eventually they're going to realize if you stop talking to people who make you feel bad saying negative things to you and you stop telling people who don't encourage you to pursue your dreams about your accomplishments in your dreams. Don't tell him anything. Then you're gonna notice that you're gonna have so much more energy for yourself. And he won't have this negative energy competing with your positive energy and your confidence. See, people are trained and naturally wired. Teoh be skeptics your parents want you to be safe. I'm not saying come out of your life, but you need to stop telling them about all the things that you're doing. If they're not responding in the right way, If you have a friend that super negative, they're replaceable. Remove them. You need to start doing that. You're going to start feeling better about yourself. Since we're all wired to be skeptics and you're fighting that you're going against the grain of that, you're gonna need to surround yourself with people who do the same thing. And it's hard to find those people. So you need to understand that naturally, a lot of people aren't going to do that. And if they aren't, you're gonna need to remove them from your life so that you could be more positive and more confident. Because once you have a positive outlook on everything, everything seems accomplish a ble, you feel better. You feel like you have more leverage over your life and your situations, including your circumstances, and you will definitely feel more positive. So think about that and remove negative energy and negative people from your life. 6. Consume Powerful Content: If you want to become confident, you need to start consuming powerful content. This is so important. We talked about removing negative people on negative energy from your life, but you will need to consume powerful content. What I want you to do, even if you don't read, there's going pick up at least one book. One book. When you read books, you interact with it more than you dio with any other medium. I mean radio on audiobooks and podcasts are also really powerful because they say, radio is the most visual medium podcast or the most visual medium because you have to picture what's going on. So even if you don't want to read that book, get one podcast from somebody who's positive and who's experienced in whatever you want to do. If you want to become more confident, pick up another podcast on confidence. If you want to become a good business person, go online, go to YouTube and look up all your favorite business people or look on. You know me for instructors. You're doing it right now, but you need something that's actually going to be able to follow you every single day. This is helpful, but I want you to learn outside of this course to I want you to be able to pick up a book that really resonates with you or listen to a podcast because when you were walking down the street on a rainy day and you feel sad, if you have some positive advice in your ear, it's as if a mentor is there with you. You know, there's so many brilliant teachers in the world, you can pick up a book today and learn from Albert Einstein. These air his exact words on the page and you could learn from him. So that's gonna do major things for boosting your confidence. Because if you have the best teachers in the world inside of your head, inside of your your spirit, you're gonna be way more confident everything you did. Once your negative, you have to consume the positive 7. What is Charisma?: So now it's time to master charisma. In order to master charisma, we have to know what it is. Charisma is that quality that some people have that just makes them very attractive to be around. You know, that person that seems to have that or around then they just seem to have this energy that just, you know, captivates you. Those people are charismatic. We may think of business leaders or people who give public speeches and, you know, they're firing with passion. Those people are charismatic and in order to be charismatic and actually take it really far where you can convince other people and make yourself very likable and believable. Before you do that, you have to be able to understand the basics. And the first rule of being charismatic is listening. See what people speak to you. They want to feel like you're listening to them. And in order to be charismatic, you have to make a connection in order to connect with people you have tow. Listen, if you're not listening to what people say and you're always inside of your own head, you're gonna have problems holding your charisma. So think about that. Think about what other people are saying and how you come back out more personable to them . But also try this. Try looking into people's eyes and thinking about the color of their eyes. Tried to examine the color. Is it blue, green, brown and look at all the little details of their eyes is you listen to them. Don't think too hard about the eyes, but look at the colors of their eyes. That's one of the best way to get out of your head and not be distracted. So look at their eyes, make a connection with him and ask questions showing interest in them. Don't talk about yourself because they're naturally going to be interested in you. They're gonna ask about you, too, But think about them. Look at the colors of their eyes and just trying to understand that person. Think of it as a game. Every time you speak to someone, it's a game, and not every social situation is gonna go over favorably. But it's a numbers game as well. More people you speak to, the more likely you're going to start getting the reactions you want on the more you build on this skill the more natural. That's weird. It's gonna become so try that focus on people's eyes and see how it goes. 8. How to Boost Charisma: So now that we know of charisma is how we work on boosting charisma now. It's not always easy to just boost charisma, but I'll tell you one thing. Think about what your energy level is like. If you tend to be a really reserved person, you're very quiet trying to do a bit of the opposite if you're an extremely excitable person trying to do a pithy opposite, because chances are if you're extremely reserved more than most people, you need to be able to be higher energy, higher vibration in order to be like the medium in order to be like most people you're speaking with. If you're super excitable, energetic, which is often what I was like and I still am, sometimes you want to bring it down a little bit. Mainly, you want to be on the same wavelength in the same level as the other person, the booster charisma. You want to think about normalizing, and this sounds weird. There's a counterintuitive to what we've been talking about, but what You're super excited and everybody else is relaxed. You seem out of place almost like an impostor when you're really, really quiet and reserved and shy, you almost seem withdrawn. So what you want to do is you want to find a medium point, but you still want to be charismatic. You still want to make that connection. You still want to focus like a set focus on their eyes. You want to get a genuine feeling about what that person's about. You want to make a connection, so give that a shot, and I guarantee it will boost your charisma. 9. 5 Mistakes to Avoid: So here. Five mistakes to avoid that killed your charisma. We're gonna breeze through this so you can just write them down. So the 1st 1 is not introducing yourself. If you introduce yourself, people will remember your name. And if you don't do that, you're gonna be killing a charisma because it's also kind of in polite. Introduce yourself. Always the second thing. Are you responsible to short when you're speaking to people, what you speak to people you want to share enough information, talk enough so that they have something to talk about. Two Share more info. The third thing is complaining about everything. Nobody likes a negative person, so if you complain a lot, you need to cut that out at least by 90%. Still, talk about your opinions, but don't complain. Number four is mumbling. If you talk like this all the time, people are gonna really think you're charismatic. So you're going to need to talk louder and project your voice. We're gonna talk about that, too. But don't mumble or talk quietly. Our fifth thing is having no principles. If you have no principles, no morals, you're going to be pretty stale. Unforgettable so always always broadcast your opinions and save them loudly. So now you know what to avoid. Avoid these things and write them down. Be sure to memorize them and they will never fail you. If you avoid them, you'll be more charismatic and you'll draw people to you. Good luck. 10. Phrases That Kill Charisma: So now that we went over some of the more general things that kill people's charisma, let's talk about the actual phrases that people often habitually use. One of them is I'm not good enough. So if you're about to sing a song for somebody or give a presentation and you say I'm not good enough, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway, you're signaling to that person, and everything that's that's going toe happen after that is going to be bad. Now, when you do something like saying or perform, you don't want to tell the person that what you're gonna do is bad. Because if you do something mediocre, what's going to sway them about whether they think it's a good or it's bad is the way that you present it to them. So if you presented as something amazing that's gonna happen, that could be the last decider and why they think it's amazing. So put a shiny coat on whatever you do and present it well, no matter what you think, just be quiet and go out and do that. Another thing is saying no problem. So let's say you did something for a friend like you took your friend's cat out for a walk when they were away on holiday. And your friend may come back and say, Hey, thanks for doing that. And you may say, no problem. Don't say no problem. Because no problem is signaling to your friend that you know what? There was no problem. The re only reason why I did it was because it wasn't an issue to me, it wasn't difficult, but a much better way to actually reinforce your friendship and show that you care about that person is by saying it's a pleasure. I'm happy to help. Or I really wanted to do that for you because you're a great friends. Those are things that we're gonna boost your charisma and also reinforce your friendship with that other person. Another one is putting blame on people. So if you say you always do this or you always do that, that alone is going to kill your charisma. So you don't want to do that instead, phrase it in a more passive way, like I feel really sad when so if somebody does something rude to you or I don't know, they rubbed you the wrong ways. That would say You always bother me. Say I feel really sad when people say those things about me. You know, that takes the blame off that person and sparks her empathy. And you can also add something. After that. Say, I feel really sad. Could you please help me out? Because not only did you go ahead and not only sparked their empathy and remove the blame from them, but you're asking them to help. You're putting yourself on the same team. Is that and another one that you also want to avoid is saying dislike people? I mean, this is psychological thing. Whenever you see you don't like somebody else, it automatically reflects back on you, like people are going to psychologically associate with a bat thing you say about other people. It's true. If you say, um, Bob is really ugly, you're going to be putting that back on yourself. The person listening to that. We'll also associate you with ugliness. Even if you're the most beautiful person in the world, it's just what happens. So if you say positive things about other people, they're going associate that with you, too. So it's really matter of doing that? Another phrase to avoid is, Oh, that wasn't That wasn't very good. That was nothing. Or if you accomplish something saying, Oh, it's not a big deal because what you want to do is use your accomplishments to thank other people. Instead of saying that it wasn't a big deal, it's not. No need to say I'm doing well instead of saying things like that, you can actually say Like, you know, I'm so grateful for the people around me and that's why I was able to accomplish those things because it still holds you in a positive light. You shouldn't feel bad about accomplishing things and doing good things. Society has trained us toe, you know, force ourselves to be more humble than we actually need. Teoh Humility is good. People love it, always express humility. But what you want to do is use your achievements as an opportunity to thank people. Hey, you know what? I couldn't have gotten here without you. So thank you for supporting me. Those are some things to do. So I've given you some phrases to avoid. But I've also given you some ways to spend them off and make them more positive, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable and you know what to say. You can go over these tips and you can write them down. I am presenting these videos to you in different ways. For example, I did point form on the black screen, so ask, Do not confuse you. And I'm also talking to you on camera so you can understand that I cured. It's coming from the heart and depending on your learning strategy, you may want. Teoh asked me some questions in the Q and A section, but if you employ these strategies, you will become way more charismatic, and I can't wait to see what you're gonna achieve. 11. The Art of Persuasion: So now we're gonna be talking about persuasion. Persuasion is simply having influence over other people to make them make certain decisions or believe a certain way they don't actually have to do in action. Just changing someone's and mindset is persuading them to think differently. It's about influencing people and guide how they think how they feel and how they act. So persuasion is really interesting because there's a lot of different ways to do it. But the reason why persuasion is going to boost your confidence is because if you want to ask somebody for something, you may feel scared because you feel like you're gonna get rejected. One strategy to still remaining confident is saying, Hey, I may be rejected, but who cares? We went over that. We also wanna really exercise or abilities and powers because once we get better at doing things like persuading people being charismatic, understanding others, we become more confident. So persuasion is a funny thing because they're very simple rules and tactics. You can learn in order to persuade the people around you, and the next lectures were gonna be covering them. And if you have any questions, you can ask me in the Q and A section, but in terms of persuasion you want apply this your everyday life and you want to be very persuasive at certain things. So if you work in marketing like I do, I have to be very persuasive when I'm selling a package or I'm speaking to a client. That's how I have to be persuasive. Now. If I worked as a police officer, I would have to be persuasive in a different way. But was working with a convict or somebody else would have to persuade them to calm down. Will you want is an overarching ability to persuade anybody that comes your way. That's the easiest way to exercise or influence on a grand scheme wherever you go, and then you can adapt persuasion for specific moments in time. So we're gonna go over persuasion, and I really can't wait to talk about it with you. 12. Strategies that Persuade People: So here a few My favorite things that persuade people the 1st 1 is the yes ladder. I'll give you situation. Let's say you call somebody and say hello. I'll say hi. Is this Margaret? She says Yes, I say. Are you marketing consultant Margaret? She'll say Yes, I'll say, Do you still live at 6502 Hooligan Street? She'll say Yes. And then I'll ask, Would you like to donate $5 to make your neighborhood a better place? She has more of a chance of saying yes than if I just simply called and said, Hey, wanna donate five bucks? So by asking s questions that are simple, you know you're going to get the yes answer to those questions. You'll be ableto work people up to saying yes to your actual request. So give that a shot Business people have uses for a long time. Universities use it to solicit donations. You can use it in your daily life to get whatever you want, and it may not always be successful, but you'll drastically increase the chances of persuading something someone else. Now, another way to persuade people is by mirroring them. And if you've heard of that. I would be surprised because mirroring is very popular. But the thing is, it's very hard to actually mirror somebody effectively without looking like an idiot. So mirroring for those of you that don't know is basically if somebody walks up to me and they say I'm having a really, really crummy day, the best way to actually influence them and persuade them to be happy has to say I totally understand. But there's so many great things happening today. They just go, Hey, I like that guy, All right. I like that guy. I don't know what it is, but I like that guy. That's because you're mirroring them. But it's very difficult to do that with people you've met on the spot. I mean, if you can't predict their mannerisms and you can't act naturally cause you're so caught up in your own head, you can't mirror them. So one way to persuade those people as to simply try to extend the amount of time you're spending with them until you could meet them on the same wavelength. What I'm saying is, don't go in mirroring. What you want to do is try to talk to somebody and gain some trust and understanding between that person so that they tune into you. And then finally, when they tune into, you start working on their wavelength. By that I mean, if they're always really happy, get really happy with him. You don't have a mirror exactly how they're acting, but get very happy. If they're generally a really low person, say positive things, bring them to where you are. But the gold here is different than mirroring. It's trying to persuade them to mirror you, and people will talk about that often. I mean, that's that's a bit of ah, more obscure strategy. But instead of simply mirroring everybody in looking like a circus clown, what you want to dio is mirror them to a certain extent. Let's say Hang on, I'm starting to like this guy and you could turn the positive person into being or the negative person being positive or vice versa. Whatever floats your boat. So those are a couple things that persuade people, but I find one thing that persuades people a lot as I contact. If you could maintain eye contact and I don't mean weird eye contact before you speak to somebody for the first time. You don't want to stare the best way if you want to talk to somebody you've never met before is to start making I contact and wait for them toe. Wait for them to look back at you. Once they look back at you, they could drop gays. Don't be weird about it, but you just drop your gaze. Sure, smile, smile and then look away. And then that person will probably say, Hey, is this person looking at me? You know, catch their eye contact again, catch their gaze, smile, walk over to them and talk to them. There's a secret art to making eye contact, and it's not as simple as just daring all the time. If that was the case is a reason why we feel weird when we do that. If you're trying to make more eye contact as you know, it's the right thing to do. You notice you feel weird. That's right. You're not just supposed to make eye contact all the time, but what you want to do is use your gaze is a tool. Look at people to bring them in job for gays. You don't want to put, like, feel like you're burning a hole in their head. Dropper gaze. Look at them. But when you're speaking to somebody in a conversation, especially when you're building, report with them and trying to convince them you want to make a much eye contact as possible and you don't just want to look directly in their eyes. I mentioned a focus on the color authorized to do that, but also use your hands. Okay, use your hands. Look at their face. Focus on their nose. Don't just stare intently and lean forward when you lean forward, you showing interest on when you're showing interest in other people. They're probably going to show an interest in YouTube, so give that a shot. Jozo Strategies. My personal favorite of all of these in terms of being solid and concrete is a yes ladder, but in terms of in terms of the art of persuasion, it's really you gotta practice it in order for it to work. Can't just give you simple techniques and have you do them because everybody works differently. You have your own way of being charismatic of exercising your persuasion, so go ahead and do that use the tips that I'm giving you. But you don't have to use them all. Try and employ a couple and see what you're the best. That and branch out from that. 13. Congratulations! : So there you have it. I hope you enjoy the course. And you picked up some really valuable information about charisma and about using different principles to boost your confidence. If you have any questions, you can contact me through you Demi at any time. And good luck. Get out there, meet as many people as you can. You have one life, so use it how you want. And don't let anybody dictate your future. This is something you need a practice you're not gonna transform overnight. But do the exercises, Repeat them. Go further with them, taking as far as you can. And I promise you you will become the most confident version of yourself. Good luck.