SELF CONFIDENCE: Boost Your Confidence & Self-Esteem

1. Introduction: Do you ever feel that lump in your throat when it's your turn to speak and any public or social situation, if you ever wished, you had the courage to speak up and be heard, but feel like you're being held back by crippling fear and anxiety. I mean, you know what you want to say, but when you're thrown into the spotlight, you freeze up like a deer in headlights and you let the fear and anxiety take the best of you. Think of the career opportunities and relationships you missed out on because of his lack of confidence. That ends today. Hi, I'm gazing over a photo. I'm an award winning Broadway credited voice coach. And I have helped CEOs, presidents, attorneys, entrepreneurs, and many others boost their self-esteem and build their confidence. But not everyone can afford to see me privately. And that's exactly why I created this course, to share my industry secrets with you, having performed in front of thousands of people on Broadway and all over the world, I still to this day who suffer from fear and anxiety, I rely on these techniques I'm about to share with you to continually build and keep my confidence at a level that will allow me to be the best version of myself. In this course, I cut out all the fluff and cliches you constantly hear from self-help gurus and get down to it works. You will get access to tangible, actionable techniques that actually work to increase your confidence and self-esteem. Being confident is a skill just like anything else that can be learned. And in this course, I will give you the easy to learn techniques that you can implement immediately. You will have exclusive access to all these secrets of the trades to give you the edge and boost your confidence to a whole new level you never thought possible, you will learn to command and conquer any professional or social setting. You will be transformed into the confident and dynamic person that you will always aspire to be. Let's start your transformation together. 2. Make Peace with Fear and Anxiety: I'm sure you've heard of the phrase, be confident. Believe in yourself, keep your head high. These are words and cliches you hear all the time from thousands of self-help gurus. But for some of us it's not as easy as it sounds. Can't just be confidence. Some of us are dealing with language barriers or an introverted personality or a dreaded fear of public speaking. We all have our own devices that we deal with daily that may be holding us back from advancing in her career, finding your true love, or even making friends. All of this is weighed down by insufferable fear and anxiety. Well, we have to come to terms with is this, write this down. Fear and anxiety will never go away. I know this is a hard pill to swallow, but trust me, embrace this mindset and I promise you it will be a lifesaver moving forward. Fear and anxiety is what makes us human. The greatest opera singers and stage performers who get roaring standing ovations all over the world suffer from stage right all the time, right through towards the end of their career. I, myself have performed on Broadway, premier multimap, $1 million musicals and i2 suffer from stage fright and anxiety. I used to know an actor who would environment before going on stage. You are not alone. The sooner we realize that fear and anxiety is not something we could repress or exercise away. The better. Fear and anxiety is not going anywhere. We have to make peace with it and form an unbreakable alliance. And together we will conquer the world. 3. Fear is Not the Enemy: There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Sound familiar. But to not fear, fear, we must know the source of our fears. Fear is simply the anxiety we feel when we encounter something we don't know or had a bad experience with in the past, a common memory. Sensory tracks are fewer loves to go by. So let's do exactly that. Let's get to know the origins of our fears. Let's go away back our family history when we were cave men and women desperately trying to survive when faced with saber tooth tigers or enemies trying to take our land. It is a natural mechanism that is here to protect us from danger, triggering our fight or flight response, and taking us away from the face of danger. It was originally meant to keep us alive. And we thank you for that. Well, things have changed over the decades. We are seldom confronted with life or death scenarios, thankfully. Hopefully. But those mechanisms are still, they're desperately trying to find a way to justify his existence. Making something as simple as approaching someone you like at a party or hosting a Zoom meeting or walking into an all-important job. Interviews seem like a one-on-one battle with the grizzly bear. Well, when we hear it in that context, we realize how dramatic fear and anxiety could really be. But what this tells us is that fear is on our side. It's our ally, our partner in battle, willing to risk everything to keep us alive. Fear and anxiety it causes is not the enemy. Change your perspective on this principle? And it will change your life. 4. It is Time to Form an Alliance: Now let's put this into an actionable, tangible exercise to help us face and embrace our fears. Like I said earlier, I don't want to spend these videos talking fluff and doing nothing about it. I want to have something tangible to instill an unbreakable self confidence mindset that will always be there for you when you need it. So here's what I want you to do. Find a comfortable chair somewhere. You could sit down undisturbed and just close your eyes. Experience your breath. Focus in on just your breath. Other thoughts will come and go. That's okay. Imagine all of these thoughts like clouds in the sky just blowing by. We are not the thoughts, so we are the breath. Go back to the breath, breathe in, breathe out. Focus in on just the breath. Let everything else melt away. Everything else is not important. I want you to imagine you are standing proud and tall, wriggly on top of afford, looking into your kingdom and all of your subjects, or they're praising her name. So proud of you, all willing to die for you, for you are the king, for you are the Queen. You rule this lab. They all look up to you for guidance. And I want you to look to the side, to the left and to the right along the fault wall where you're standing. And you're going to see guards on each pillar of the fort, standing guard all around your forte, waiting to die for you, waiting to give their life for you. They are here for you and they look to you for guidance. Look at them and smile. Be proud of them. Thank them for being here. If it wasn't for them, you would have no way to enforce law, no way to have control and your kingdom. Embrace them. Love them for being here. I want you to all of a sudden to be disturbed by a loud, scary, terrifying rumble beyond the walls of the fort. Turn around, look out into the field. And you notice these big giants. First there are two, then there are three than they are for. Pacing up closer to your forte. Everybody in your kingdom here is a giant footsteps shaking the foundations of your forte and they run around and panic. You're guards looked to you in fear. You can see and feel the fear in their eyes looking at you for guidance. What shall we do, king? But I want you to just stand there and smile with confidence and say nothing. They start panicking. What is wrong with the King? What's going on with the king or queen? Has he gone mad? He's not doing anything. What should we do? Should we take action? Should we destroy these giants ourselves? He's not saying anything. What do we do? They start panicking. They run up to you, they start grabbing you. Nobody grabs the king. They start shaking you and asking you snap out of it. We need to do something. Our lives are at stake here. And I just want you to look at them and smile. And gently point towards these giants. The guards look over to where you're pointing and they're jars, Tropp. They cannot believe their eyes. What they behold. I want you to smile and walk down out through the drawbridge into the fields. Were these giants once were? For they are no longer giants. They are children crying in fear, scared. They don't know what to do. I want you to walk up to them one by one, put your hand on their head and say It's okay. It's okay. I'm here now. There's no need for the arm. Embrace every one of these children, hold them close to you. As you're embracing them, looking at them, each in the eye, look up to your guards. And they're just an r. When they come to the realization that these monsters that were threatening land or just the fear of an innocent child, your child. Different versions of you who have suffered injustices in the past, who are scared, who are lonely, who are afraid of rejection, who are afraid to be left behind, who are afraid to fail. It's okay. Embrace them, are walk back into the fort, go down in her knee, look at them all in the eye and say It's okay, you're safe now. Let them go into your kingdom knowing that there'll be safe forever. The guards come to you in our fall on their knees and state who might in king or queen. We will never. Second guess you again. You are all knowing it was wrong of us to go over the top and fear. We should have listened to you on Mighty King. You look at them, raise your hand and say, you have done well, my guards. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for alerting me. I appreciated. But we need to realize that these threats are nothing more for the cries of a scared child. Reach out your hands. The guards will put their hands on top of yours. Put your hands on top of everybody's has grabbed it tight. Look at them all in the eyes and say we are an alliance. Together. We will march through this world and deal with these fears with an open and calm mindset. Being able to see past the darkness and fear. Realize how unthreatening these fears really are. Look at them. They look at you. They nod in agreement. Congratulations. Open your eyes. Now we can move forward together. 5. The Ultimate Mindset to be Confident: Now more than ever, a society is obsessed with comparing themselves with others. We can always find someone who has better looking, more successful, that are careers, that are relationships. Especially in this age of Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms that are constantly reminding us of this. It can get pretty depressing and it could be weighing down on your confidence by igniting a shame or what's the point attitude? Sure, I could tell you to take a break from social media and walk in the park instead and look up pretty birds. But let's be realistic. Social media is part of who we are now. We are connected to everyone all the time. I'm not going to be an old Giza and tell you kids to get off those blasted internet devices or it's going to melt your brain. Instead, I'm going to ask you to do is just tweak your perspective a bit. What I mean is instead of looking ahead of us at the friends and families and colleagues were better looking more successful, better jobs, better kids, whatever. Take the time to look behind us. Look at how far you've come to get to where you are now. You're obviously an ambitious individual looking to better yourself out of your way, to improve yourself as D and confidence by researching online courses and purchasing this one, I'm sure you're driven and many other aspects of your life too. And I applaud you for that. You've come a long way. Why don't we take the time to see and appreciate how far you've come for every person you think is more successful. There is just as many others that think the same of view. I'm not saying it's wrong to want and desire to be better. Not at all. I'm just asking you to change your perspective so we don't let these expectations way down on the confidence we need to achieve these goals and desires. We want to free up that confidence to do what it does best. What I'm asking for here is to embrace, okay, Wait for it. It's gonna get a bit cliche. To Be grateful. I know it sounds cliche, but trust me, if you're like me, you've read all of the great self-help guru books. But what I found to be an ongoing theme that runs clear through all of them is the practice of gratitude. By simply opening your heart to a gratitude mindset, you will instantly let go of those overbearing expectations put upon yourself by parents, friends, teachers, or more commonly yourself. This is your journey. No one else's. These are your steps you're taking to get to your goals and ambitions. Let's give your confidence the freedom it needs to take us there. 6. Gratitude Journal: So what I want you to do is grab a pen and paper, or a journal or whatever you write in. And I want you to write down four different categories, a column for each personal, financial, career, and health. Now, some of you may be looking to improve your confidence in one or all of them. But we're going to cover all of them just in case, just to make sure that we're all covered. Now under each of these categories, I want you to write down your goal. What do you hope to achieve under each category? For example, personal. I want to find the love of my life. When I make more friends, financial, I want a net worth of $2 million, whatever it is personally to you. Take the time to write these down. You could pause me now if you wish to do it, but take your time. Don't rush. Now that we have each goal clearly defined under each category. Below that, I want you to write down for each category where you are now, what you have achieved so far to get to this goal, for example, personal, okay, I wish to find the love of my life. Okay, Here she is not here yet, but you know what? I have this dog or cat who brings joy in my life. Okay? It's not the love of my life of course, but he's giving me the love and comfort that I needed at this moment. Or if you don't have as many friends as you want, be grateful for the friends you have. And in financial, okay, You want a net worth of $3 million? Well, what's your net worth now? But was your net worth two years ago, three years ago, what choices have you made to get to where you are now? Okay, I'm saving more. I'm investing in stocks and bonds. I'm being active. That's something to be grateful for. And in career, I want to be a CEO. Where are you now? Who are the people that have helped you along the way write those names down, something to be grateful for health. Okay. I went to lose 25 pounds. Well, I'm not quite there yet, but I last five last week. These are things to write down and look at and cherish with a gratitude mindset. What you're going to start noticing is that when you focus on gratitude, start shedding the worries and burdens of the shame based expectation. Giants, remember those giants from the castle and you start looking at your life through a clear lens, free of the nagging voices of you should've, you could've, you would've. Now that we've quieted down those voices, we have a clear, more efficient path to our goals and desires that we're going to achieve confidently. 7. Confident Breath Flow: Now so far we've been covering a lot of the psychological aspects of building a confident foundation. But we also have to look at the biological aspects, which includes the voice, because you could be totally prepared in your head and how to be confident. You've conquered the Giants. You are the King of your castles. Your guards are working with you. But if you go into that social situation or that Zoom meeting or whatever situation you're putting yourself and where you have to rely on your confidence. You need to make sure physical aspects are there which include voice, law Boucher, as they say in Italian. This is something I specialize in because I am a voice teacher. I've performed on Broadway, major national tours, Las Vegas. So this is something I know very well and it could really give you that extra, that extra confidence boost when you have a beautifully engaged voice, it's just going to partner so well what the psychological aspects of what we've been talking about and what we will continue talking about further along the lesson. So let's talk about the voice. But first let's talk about what supports the voice, which is the breath. Very important as you know, when we encounter something that is stressful or that we need to rely on our confidence, whether it's a social situation or a meeting or an interview or something like that, our breath patterns change. You notice that we tend to breathe more shallow and that's normal. Remember that flight and fight response we were talking about earlier with the saber tooth tigers. You need to oxygenase your body so you can run away from that saber-tooth tiger. Well, it's the same situation here. We have to now learn how to control that. Let me scratch said I don't like the word control. I'm going to say how to keep it engaged in locked into your core. So when we're in situations of tension or breath gets shallow. Now, has it Performer? I've been on stage and perform in front of 3000 people. Let me give you a little trick on how to fix this. This is what I do personally before I go on stage for anything or do videos like this or anything, It's called the hissing Marionettes. Now you'll find that this is something I have along in my other singing courses I have here on this platform. The reason why I use it a lot and why you use it for both public speaking singing and so on is because it works for all aspects of communication, singing and so on. So I want to share this with you here. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to imagine that you're a Marionettes. You have ropes attached to you. Those ropes, those strings are all of a sudden cut. So we're completely dangling, okay, So from this dangling position, I want you to bend your knees and then your head just a bit like this. And take a deep breath. Relaxing your shoulders, dipping over your shoulders like this and deep breath again. So once you start noticing is that when you breathe like this, we don't involve our shoulders. Because here's a good test for you. Stand in front of a mirror and take a deep breath in. Now, let me ask you this. Did you raise your shoulders at all? Did you go? If you do that, that means we're breathing in from the wrong place. We're breathing in very shallow. What this exercise does is it forces you to enforce. It makes you relax your shoulders and not engage your shoulders or the upper parts of your body. All those muscles that should not be engaged when we're breathing in. So from here, big breath in and which just are noticing is that breath gets delivered along her diaphragm, which is where our breath should be when talking versus up here, because then you're going to find that you're going to lose breadth. You can lose your breath and then you could think is going to be shallow and then your patterns are going to be off. And it's just going to add to the stress that we just don't need. So we've got to match the physical with a psychological. So from this position, this dangling marionette position, I want you to take a big deep breath and come up on us like this rally. In other words, big breath. His like this. Slowly coming on UPS, keeping that his nice and consistent. It's and your job is to hold it for as long as you can. The key here is to make sure that his is consistent. It's not right. This forces you to equalize that breath exhalation, equalizing everything so you don't lose your breath. This makes you be more resourceful with your breath. Let's try one more time. I'm going to try it with you. Okay? Now here's the kicker. I want you to time yourself. Have a cell phone stopwatch, timer yourself. See how long we could hold that nice consistent sound. Okay, here we go. I'll do with you. The Marionettes. Here we go. The ropes are cut. Boom. Big deep breath. Coming up on notes. How do you do time herself? Okay, this is a physical exercise I want you to start doing to equalize your breath, to re-engage your breath to your diaphragm. So it won't go out of whack when you're in those stressful situations. You do this a few times before you do your Zoom meeting or anything like that or anything that involves speech are talking of communication. And it's going to automatically relax you physically to right? You're going to feel meditated. Again, like I say in all my videos, I wanna give you tangible exercises for you to do. I can't, I don't want to just talk fluff. Fluff is easy. You could find that anywhere. I want to give you physical tangible exercises you could do on a daily basis to physically be more confident, this is going to help herself Marionettes. The key here to remember is to keep that consistent. I don't want consistency. It's like a laser beam. Imagine you're blowing into the sales of a boat. You want that boat to be as consistent with the most smooth ride you could possibly give that sailboat, right? Add that to your repertoire of tools. Now let's move on to lab. I watched The Voice. 8. The Power of the Voice: The voice, very important physiological tool we need to exude confidence. You could look good, smell good, ready to take on the world. But if your voice is disconnected and high and unsure of itself, it all goes down the tubes. So like I said, we're going to I'm going to give you exercises to bring her voice to the level of your psychological mindset of confidence. Now, again, I'm going to be sharing with you exercises. I do personally to enrich my voice when I'm onstage performing in front of 4 thousand people. Because as you know, when we're in situations of stress, our voice tends to get shallow, just like our breath, and we tend to talk from our throat. Hi, How are you? I'm here for the Zoom meeting. I always just across the hall and I notice you here and I wanted to if I go buy you a drink, again, I'm exaggerating. We don't sound like that, but that's what a disconnected sound sounds like. All we have to do, like the breath is reconnect. That breath to your source is what I call it. It's not, it's sort of like more imagery. I use a lot of imagery and my teachings which tends to help. And it's been taught to me that way by great voice teachers throughout my whole career. So let's begin. What I want you to do now is I want you to literally grabbed your mouth now again, these are exercises on my other videos too. I'm redoing them because they work. I want you to grab your mouth. You have your mouth. Here's your mouth now it's no longer here, it's in your hat. And I want you to connect your mouth to right here, you know that part where it goes in right between your chest and your belly right there. Ha so from now on, when you speak you speak from here. You breathe in from here and you speak from there. Do you notice a difference from when I am speaking from here and when I'm speaking from here. See what, see what I'm doing. What this does is it reconnects the voice to a deeper level, relaxing your soft palates in your throat and your tongue, allowing the air to flow. Because when we lose our voice, when we sound high-end pitching and unsure, it's a lack of flow of air. Now this, along with our breathing exercises, is really going to take your voice to the next level. So now let's review the voice. So here's what I want you to do. Put your hand in that spot where your mouth is now and take a deep breath. You notice how instantly you're breathing deeper versus okay, and from here, take a deep breath and just go. I want your hands to vibrate. Try with me. My voice gets deeper. Now, we're not trying to produce a deeper sound. We don't wanna do that. If you're female, you don't want to walk around zone and a good dude. But what this does is it, it brings your voice down to its natural tone, right? We lose the natural tone of her voice as we get older, as we come upon stressful situations where we tend to disconnect. And then all of a sudden we're talking from up here. That's not our voice. Hi, this is our voice here. Not pushed. Deep, artificial sound like a newscaster, but just relaxed open so they could deep breath with your mouth open like your yarn and go. Ha, and that, that voice melt down into that source I was telling you about one more time. Good or neighbors are probably wondering what's going on. But this is a good exercise for you to reconnect with your source. Now here's what I want you to do in this state. Spend a few minutes fine and good when you find it. Read from here. Going back to that tongue twister I was doing earlier, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers. Peter Piper picked. You see how deeper that sounds versus Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, a pack of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked, disconnected, doesn't sound sure of himself from here. So whatever your reading, whatever if you have a Zoom presentation, just an impromptu conversation with somebody you're interested in a bar or whatever situation you have. If you have reading material, if not find something online, just read it out loud from here and use that vibration of your hand as a guide. If you're, if you don't feel the vibration of your hand and you feel more in here. Got to reconnect. Always reconnect. And what you're going to start noticing is that when you do this style of speaking, It's going to start overtaking your everyday life. You'll be like, Hi, can I get a double cappuccino, please with some blood as well? Where did that come from? You're going to start naturally dropping your sound to make more of an efficient sound. And it's going to fix so many things. You're not going to lose your voice as much. You're not going to feel tired or strain. Your whole body will resonate when you speak, Given what you say more of an emotional impact. Because guess what? This is close to the heart. So what you say is close to your emotions. And if you're speaking from your hearts, I say this to all my clients. You're never wrong. If you're speaking from your heart because it's genuine. Another thing I want to add on there is other exercises we could do is lip trills from here, just going up and down lip trills are now a lot of people can do that and that's okay if you can't try this, a lot of people can't do that either. If you can't do that, then just hmm. Okay. These three things from your source going up and down, I'm going to live true, okay? Or, or humming. The key here is as we go higher not to disconnect. We're disconnecting. Make your hands vibrate no matter what level or scale or pitch you're at. It's going to keep your voice grounded and it's going to vibrate from a deeper place. Look at a guitar, whereas a whole really guitar, I say this all the time. The whole of a guitar is in the center of its body because that's where the resonation is. So you're going to have that psychological confident mindset as well as your physical, one element of physical we're gonna go through others. But this is something that's going to help you be more confident. Speak with elegance and not only be confident, but be memorable. People will remember you. If you speak from your heart, from your deeper source. 9. Confident Body Language: Now another physiological aspect of conveying confidence, not conveying, conveying sounds like we're being fake to be confident, have the eyes drawn to you when you walk into a room. Look at the greats, look at Sinatra, look at the big stars in the world. When you hear interviews about them, a person will describe the feeling of being in the room with that person, like Frank Sinatra would walk into a room and you could feel the energy. You could feel his energy. Its physiological, yes, it's emotional based on the exercises were doing earlier, but it's also physical. So now let's examine the physical aspects of competence. We enter a room, how we carry yourself. If you're like me, I'm like six-foot three. I have a tendency of hunching because I'm tall and sometimes I feel like I need to sort of be down at somebody's level. This is something that happened quite a bit in high school. I was sort of that awkward kid with one eyebrow and a hunchback. But I learned over time, especially in performance, performing on stage. You need to lead with your chest. Imagine your chest or like the headlights of a car, they're leading. Lead with your chest, lead with your shoulders, not good. Lead with your chest. And this is something you're gonna find often because in today's day we're in front of the Zoom camera all day sitting down in an office. We have a tendency of hunching over, getting comfortable. And then we carry that onto our everyday life when standing, when walking into a room, we've got to change that. So here's what I want you to do. Here's a little trick because this happens often in the owner way to combat it is by constantly reminding ourselves, get a little elastic band or just a little something, something you could see on a daily basis on you. So what you're gonna notice is that when you know, in your day-to-day life, as you're going through life, talking, hanging out with friends, working, you might find yourself hunching down. You're gonna see that elastic band, you're going to go away, okay. Leading with the chest. Leading with the chest. And you're going to find on average, you're going to be catching yourself quite often at first hunching over. But just looking at that elastic band will automatically remind you to leave with a chest until it becomes a muscle memory. And next thing you know, you're walking into the room and you're leading with the chest to convey confidence. Not cocky, but confidence nobody likes an arrogant, I think I know it all type of person. But we love confident people. So remember headline with leading with your chest. Always not too much where you're hunching over, but just enough so it's a clear line. I can literally draw a clear line from the top of my head, right down the side of my shoulder, a straight line. So do that with the elastic band until it becomes habitual, then he could remove it. Now you've heard the cliches about eye contact and handshakes. Of course, those are all important to, I've taught my kids even at a young age. So really give me that handshape because it conveys confidence. But again, not, hey, I'm better than you notice sort of machismo style, but more like, Hey, I'm here for you, I'm listening. I'm ready to converse with you. So always remember a nice firm handshake, even for women, especially for women. You give it to him. I contact firm, hey, thanks for being here, right? Because our eyes are the window to our souls when we're lingering, when we're not sure where to look. In addition to a hunchback, what you're going to notice is this. You might not feel confidence, say you've had a bad day. And again, as an actor, I gelato rejection. There's days. I'm like, you know, I'm done, I can't, but I have to go into the next audition or I have to go into rehearsal for a play I'm doing. But I have to convey confidence by physically doing these things I was telling you about the posture and everything. Competence will follow for fun, try right now, just smile, even if it's fake and it feels weird. Just smile and keep that up for a while. I know feels weird. Kyc, tell me to do this because I'm not hearing anything. But eventually if you keep on smiling physically, you're going to start noticing the emotions will follow a motion follows physicality. I remember studying at the Stratford Festival in Toronto, which is a huge Shakespearian company. And we studied clown and physically. And what they, Tommy, which was, which was incredible, is wearing a mask as a clown. And we would have to emote emotion. Now we didn't have our face to guide us, so we had to do it physically. And it was sort of a challenge because it was like, well, I'm very limited. I only have the mask, but I found that when I wanted to exude a certain emotion and I realized it, the emotions followed. It's like you can trust your body or bodies, your guide to help you. Physical eyes, confidence. 10. Confident While Sitting Down: Now exuding confidence while you're sitting, it might seem like a vulnerable position to be sitting, but you'd be amazed and the body language you could convey to show confidence. I remember in modelling school, I always remember my teachers telling me to relax my shoulders back when you're sitting down, you don't lean back too much though because this shows that you just don't care. And we don't want to come across is that we want to come across as ready to engage. This shows that you're relaxed, you're comfortable being here, You're ready to engage versus sort of hunched over, insecure fidgeting with my hands. And that's another thing to the fidgeting of the hands is a dead giveaway. Always want to make sure your hands are nice and relaxed. No need to activate the hands unless you have a point. You want to say, Hey, hasn't gone, hey, love that outfit, so on and so forth. So has relaxed shoulders, back and confidence. I'm a Lead crosser. I love crossing my legs. So what I tend to do is cross my legs. A lot of especially if I'm talking to somebody. Good rule of thumb is you want to cross your legs towards the person you're talking to are engaging with. I'm talking to somebody here. I'm going to cross my legs towards them that it shows that I'm interested. I'm open for engagement and a conversation. I'm interested in what you're saying. Remember the listening thing we were talking about earlier. Very important versus if I'm talking and I'm crossing out here, it conveys yeah, sure. I'll get back to you in a second. I'm more interested in what's going on here. You see what I mean? See how your body can say so much without saying anything. And the person receiving it will pick up on that, especially in a job interview situation too. We don't want to be forward. Yes, Mr. Smith, they really want to work with Mrs. Smith. Anything you say, it reeks desperation. And desperation is a very pungent smell that nobody likes, Nobody likes desperate people. So in a situation when you're in an interview, you want to show respect by being tall and shoulders back and engage in the conversation because it's showing respect of your authority. But I'm not intimidated by intimidated, confidence. You are lucky to have me here because I have something to offer you. You need what I have to offer. If you have that in your mind as you're in that job interview, it's gonna show physically what you really want to also prevent. Two is the fish-eating of the legs. This always shows anxiety like you really don't want to be here. That's something you have to think about as well. You want to make sure your body is relaxed. There's no need to move unless you need to. Now, you can shift your body forward if you're not a leg cross or like I am, you could just shift your body this way. Shift your body this way with your knees pointing towards the person you're listening to or this person here. And always be aware of the people around you. If there's somebody here, you don't want to give them the back. The back is a big no-no because then it shows you're just an object. You're not important to me. Be aware of who's around you. If you're talking to this person and the people around you, their focus is on YouTube. Like you when you're in a conversation or at a party, you always noticed that your do you ever do this? I do this a lot when I'm talking to somebody and I hear something that's interesting to me on this conversation that I really hope I can get it on. But I can't, but I'm engaged here, but I'm listening there. So when you're in a social situation with multiple people, remember, even though you're here, connected and in talking to this person here, people are still open and connecting to you in other areas, whether you're, whether it's direct or not. So by opening up to the person you're talking to here, but still having yourself available to the people around you that way. Oh, by the way, overheard you speaking? Oh, yes. Thank you. Yeah. Come on into this conversation here. He had his dad. So then you're engaged with everybody versus a ha these people here, not important, just you or here, right, shoulders, back, chest towards the person you're talking to. But keep your radar open to your surrounding area, then you're not cutting anybody off and you come across as a great conversationalists. And remember the thing we were talking about earlier, that positive energy you're going to draw people to you. And that's what we want. 11. Fear of Rejection: Throughout this course you will often hear me referring to the Giants. Remember those were talking about them earlier. This scary creatures constantly lingering around or a castle walls trying to look scary and mean while part of a successful transformation to an Earth, our self confidence and bring it to a higher, more vibrational level is to unmask the scary giants and discover what causes them pain. One giant in particular that is constantly lingering by our castle walls is the giant who suffers the war wounds of rejection. The constant hit of rejection rings this giant down to its knees. Let's face it, There is no escape. Rejection is and will always be a part of our life. But if we are in a constant state of fear of rejection, we will ever find the strength to rise above it and finally transcend it. I'm going to use me as an example, as an actor, performer, rejection as a way of life. We actors have gotten so used to rejection. We've learned to adapt and live harmoniously with rejection going through the journey of life hand in hand, like I said earlier, we need to stop shutting down, avoiding or pretending that these fear of rejection giants don't exist. Again, let's change your perspective on rejection. Let's view them as allies, guides, if you will, teachers that mean you no harm. They are merely conveying a gentle directional message that will eventually guide us to our goals. Notice the ongoing theme here. Nothing is as scary as it seems. They are not our enemies. They are our friends, teachers. They can sometimes appear scary and menacing. But remember, how we perceive things in our life is completely in our control. You can choose to see rejection is a scary, mean monster that wants nothing more than to hold his back. Or as an enlightened, gentle teacher that wants nothing more than to work hand in hand with us to manifest our dreams. Change your perspective and it will change your life. 12. Let's Get Logical: Now as I said earlier, I'm not going to just spend time talking about fluff. We're going to find a tangible way to deal and unmask this fear of rejection giant, let's use me as an example. As I said earlier, I am an actor. I go to probably about 12 to 20 auditions a month. And I'm going to say, not just me, but other actors. I'd say about 95 to 98% of those auditions are rejections. We don't even hear back from casting directors that tells us that we didn't get the part. So you can imagine the thick skin we have to develop over time. So the one secret to dealing with this rejection is to look at it logically. I want you to imagine you are a robot. You have no emotions when it comes to rejection, you look at it as data. Data that's going to help you fine tune your tools to get to your desires. Whether it's getting that job, you want getting that promotion, meeting that special someone. I know it sounds kinda harsh and cruel, but that is true. We need to be logical. Going back to me as an example, when a person gets the part, I audition for a train so hard I go to the addition, didn't get it. That guy got it. I have to put my emotions aside, swallow my pride, put the eagle outside and go and see what he did that I didn't do when the show comes up, I look it up. There's the guy that got my part. What is he doing? What did he do that I didn't do is there's something I'm missing. Is there a technique I'm missing? Was I too fast, too slow? That data is gold. How can we allow the ego to fog up or perspective and not gain access to this very, very important data that could transcend our goals. The same thing goes to if you're going to a job interview and someone else got that job instead of you. Okay. Doesn't feel good. It affects us. We want to go home and drink that tub of ice cream and just forget it never happened. We can't do that. We gotta be a logical. What did this person do to get the job? Is you more qualified to ZF certifications that I don't have that I need. Does he have a skill set that I don't have that I need? Again, gold, gold, gold. Don't let ego get in the way. Now when it comes to personal issues, it can get a bit tricky. You know, if we're, if we want to find the love of our lives, we approach a special someone at a club or a bar and we constantly get rejection. It's hard to get logical there because it's us, we're human beings, it's who we are. But the beautiful thing about that is that the universe is screaming to you, you're not compatible. If they don't call you back after a date, you're not compatible, is nothing to do. It's you can't get a more clear signed. Let it go and move on. Now, if it's something that you're concerned about and you find that it's an ongoing issue if people are not calling you back or if people are really repelled by you for some reason. Well, the best person to ask our friends, our friends, if you tell them to be honest, tell me the truth. Is there something I'm doing, something I am lacking or that's making me not approachable, please let me know and I guarantee you your friends will tell you, you know, sometimes you come across a little too strong, you might want to consider turning down your neediness. This is gold. So here's what I want you to do. If you're going for that job, going for that promotion, meeting, trying to get that sale every time you get rejection, use that opportunity, use that golden opportunity to assess, break it down. What is it that I am lacking? How can I improve? It's only going to take you to where you want to get to quicker. I know it's emotional. Trust me, as an actor, It took me three years, the beginning of my career to really learn how to deal with those emotional aspects of rejection. But after a while, you get used to it. But here's the beauty. When you implement all these exercise we were doing earlier on, masking fluid and realizing that there's nothing to be afraid of. When we relax, the fear aspect, we become more of who we are. And when you're more of who we are, we're more sure of ourselves. And that's going to have an aura that's going to bring people to you. It's like a cycle. The more of the exercises you do regarding the castle and unifying your kingdom, the more confident you are, you will have an energy of confidence. And it will bring people to bring that special someone to you, bring that job to you because you have that aura. People you'll come across will be drawn to you because ultimately, we all desire to be confident in our lives or be guided by someone who exudes confidence. And that person is you. 13. How do Broadway Performers do it!: Now being confident, staying confident, that is something we have to work on a daily basis. It's not something you learn once and forget about. It's something you have to constantly work out like a muscle. The same with a long career of an actor. Actors go through several stages. I remember when I was in my 20s, I was so confident I could take on the world and do whatever roles that come to me. But now as I get older, things happen. We get a little self-conscious because of our age, maybe because of certain other giants that we were talking about, the come to fruition, that we have to deal with, things change. So we have to keep that underlining field of confidence in tact. So I'm going to share with you what I do as an actor every day to maintain that confidence, to keep me going throughout my whole entire career. And yours. First thing I do, and I've talked about this before and I'm going to say it again. Meditation. I cannot go a day without meditation. I would become so addicted to it and it's a good addiction. There's so many YouTube videos out there that you could find to help you get it into a meditative state. I recommend this is what I do personally. First thing you do when you wake up in the morning, have some nice warm water with lemon and meditate for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes if possible, in the morning. I know it's challenging and people who I had just, my mind goes off and I start thinking of all these things. That's totally okay. All you need to do is sit still, focus on your breath. And when your thoughts go off into different things or I gotta take the cat out or have to make breakfast for the kids. Let it go like a cloud in the sky and go back to your breath. And eventually you're going to find that you'll be able to hone in on your breath and stay there. It will clear your mind and it's going to give you so many benefits and not just in confidence but anything. And the way you think everything will make sense to you, everything will be organized. Do that in the morning for 20 minutes. And then in the evening before you go to bed, start with five minutes each, and then eventually 10, 15, and then 20. And it's going to change your life. It's gonna put you in a calm state because when we're up in public doing Zoom meetings, talking to people we don't know at a party situation, whatever situation you rely on your confidence. Meditation gives you a support system, a communist, a realization that There's something more than this fear. And this fear is so minute in the grand scheme of things because when you meditate, you go into their realization that there is so much more and that petty little thing you're worried about, about making a first impression or impressing your boss, suddenly doesn't become that important anymore. And all that worry you had puffs away into a ball of smoke. So meditate twice a day, morning and night. The second thing I recommend, and I've talked about this before is writing in your daily journal when you wake up in the morning and you have your coffee, instead of checking Tiktok carrier Journal with your just a blank piece of paper and just write and you don't know what you're going to write about. It can be about anything. The key is there's no wrong answer, right? What you're going to start finding is that your mind is going to start, your subconscious is going to start communicating with you, putting down your worries and concerns, things that are on your mind that you need to clarify when you put it on paper, it becomes that much more clearer to understand and to attack. Things become systematic and logical. And when you combine that with their meditation, everything will be so clear and not so overwhelming. So just right. But at the end, what I want you to do is write down five things that you're very grateful for. We all have it. Whether it's your health, that special someone in your life, the steps you're taking to become more confident, just write down things you are grateful for. Because being in that mindset of gratitude gives you that extra push of confidence. I don't know what it is. I'm not a trained psychologists. I don't know how to explain why that is. There's a clear perspective on life. The things that we have to be grateful for, the fact that we're breathing, the fact that we're in this universe and alive makes all of these worries we had look so small. And then when you clear all that out, There's your confidence. So write down five things every day of what you're grateful for and in journal as you're having coffee in the morning and it will change and let it change things you've accomplished along the way you write it down. Because when you see it on paper and you read it out, it puts you at a whole other level of vibration, call it what you will, but it connects you to who you are, to become more of who you are. And the shame and all those giants just dissolve away when you realize that there's only one u and this Earth. The third thing that I do, this is more for when it's a situation, when you have a presentation or if you have an interview for a job, something having to do with you presenting material, know that material like the back of your hand. Passionate about the subject or material. You find that all the time when you're a kid and you're excited about this new toy, you knew everything about that toy. The up and down the ins and outs and how it operates. And you could talk about it for days. Even now. What's your passion? What is your passion? And number one, passion you have. What hobbies do you have? Do you like movies? What's your favorite movie? I bet you you could tell me every little detail of that movie. Why? Because you're passionate about it. So whatever subject you are presenting to an audience or a job interview, know that company, know that job description better than anybody. Be passionate about it, be excited about it, but not cocky, but passionate. And it will come across and then the fear aspect goes away because your priorities change. My priority is to share what I'm very excited about, fear and all that other stuff, and then self-consciousness and their lack of confidence, you take a backseat. I have a job to do when that becomes a forefront of your presentation, Zoom meeting, job interview. All of a sudden everything else just dissolves and you become this beacon of confident energy that people want to be around and want a piece of. And in my case, as an actor that would be rehearsing whatever role I'm doing. If I have a roll, I'm going to do everything I can to find out about that role. And he biographies what his intention was when I go into that performance and when I'm rehearsing, I could tell the director and any other of my classmates everything about this character from when he was a kid to his insecurities back and forth, everything because it's a passion. I've made it a passion when that starts taking the lead of your thoughts, and when that starts taking over your thought process, fear, all that goes away and you become confident. So like I said earlier, you have to approach this like going to the gym. So by doing these meditation's, writing down this journal, maintaining that perspective of gratitude, rehearsing, knowing your material, knowing what you are, what you stand for, what you're presenting, and putting that in the forefront will keep your confidence in tact sharp. And the most importantly, it'll be there for you. You could rely on it. So when you're up there talking to people at the Zoom meeting, meeting somebody you like for the first time, you have somebody there next to you with you. Always, your partner. And together you'll be unstoppable. 14. Mastering Social Situations: Now when we're in social situations, whether it's a party or your meeting colleagues at work for the first time, it could be overwhelming and intimidating. And for a lot of people, it could keep people up at night. I myself am a performer, performed in front of thousands of people, but I'm also an introvert. When I'm in a social situation, I have to make an effort to stay engaged, to be social and to connect with new people that I don't know. It's completely normal, doesn't mean you're an outcast. It just means that we have to approach it in a different way, using me as an example. What I don't like now, how ironic is this is I'm a performer. I crave a spotlight on stage or in front of a camera. But what I'm going to sew situation, I don't want anything to do with me. I kinda just want to be sort of in the sidelines. So what I find that if I'm meeting somebody or if I have to be friends with a director, producer. The one thing, the one trick that I find that always helps is put the spotlight on them, on whom you're talking to. Whether it's a girl you're interested in or a guy whomever complements, asking questions, letting them speak about themselves. People love talking about themselves. And by the end of the conversation they're going to be lab up person was a great conversationalists when in reality you just listened. Listening is a great way to put the spotlight away from you and on to others. And in that state and in that interaction there, from there, you slowly going to start gaining confidence and engaging yourself good for some people, it's not that easy to go in there and say, Hey, I'm the life of the party, everybody, Hey, I have a drink up, up, up. It's not that easy for everybody. This is a great way for people who lack confidence in social situations to put the spotlight on others until you feel warm enough. And eventually you'll feel more confident to be able to contribute and then integrate yourself into whatever social situation you're in. It takes time. I personally, I can't just make friends like that and become the best of friends. It takes time for me to develop close relationships. I have to trust them. And it's like that for a lot of introverts, put the spotlight on others until you feel confident and warm enough to be able to engage yourself and integrate yourself into that conversation. Another thing that I know a lot of introverts fear is not knowing what to say. If all of a sudden, not just in a social situation, but if you're up there improvising with an audience, maybe you're doing a presentation or an interview with several different people in different departments, a lot of the fears people have is not knowing what to say, what happens if there's a low of a conversation and I was holding the hot potato, you know how conversations bounce between people and now it's on me and I'm well, I'm going to share with you a trick on how to eliminate that. It's an improvisation game. Improv is something a lot of actors do, which I recommend for everybody. It's an incredible way to keep you in the now and listen and never not know what to say. So here's a game. I want you to play with their friend, a colleague, a family member. I want you to basically say a word, any word, spoon. And then your partner will say something related to that spoon, spoon, fork, fork, dinner, dinner, turkey, turkey gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble festivities. So it goes back and forth. And what you're going to find is the more you do that and the closer that gap of becomes and you're basically FAFSA, your mind is sharp and is always ready to give. You receive, listen, and then you give, and there's no wrong answer. You just want to keep it in the same realm. You don't want to say astronaut see-saw. You know, I'm saying astronaut stars. You see what I mean? If you keep that going, It's sort of sharpens up your mind. So when you're in a conversation with somebody and you're listening, for example, you're at a bar with a colleague and they say, Yeah, so I dropped my daughter off about LA and I was late for the meeting, but then I decided to grab a beer. Spotlights on you. You have daughter ballet, beer meeting, being late. You have five categories that were thrown at you, not 15. And you can go off of that daughter. Well, Mao, yeah, my daughter loves ballet to ballet, you know, I saw Ballet last time meeting. Oh, it's okay. Randy at the meeting is totally fine with people being late. If you don't know what to say. If you are in a situation where like, I don't know what's next. Listen. What were they talking about? What items are you able to take away from that conversation? Daughter, ballet, late, baba, blah, blah, blah, pick up what they said, find a topic and give it back. See what I mean by this improvisation gave does exactly that. It keeps the ping-pong going back and forth, back and forth. The point of this game is to keep the ball in the air. So you're working both your listening skills, you're receiving skills. And I guarantee if you practice this, you'll never be like. So bottom line, but the spotlight on others, ask questions, talk about them until you feel warmed up to be able to bring yourself into the conversation and listen. Because when you're listening, you'll be able to pick up those words, those subjects that you could pick up and go off from there. Again, everything I'm teaching, it was practical. I'm not going to sit here and just talk theory, theory, theory. This is practicality. I'm giving you tools to do every day to sharpen up those communication, confidence, self-esteem skills so they will get better. We're not just talking, we're getting up on her feet and we're doing. 15. Let's Do this!: Okay, Ladies and gentlemen, as I always say, I want to make this tangible. I wanna give you tangible techniques for you to practice as regularly as you can in order to build a confident mindset. Remember, this is a skill, this is a skill we have to learn, just like actors learn Broadway stage performers, opera singers, it's a daily practice. Now, let's talk game plan. Let's talk how we could now get what we've learned and put it down on the list of a tangible daily program that we could use to build and boost our confidence. I'm giving you a hard copy, downloadable, PDF, or file for you to see the list of daily practices we can do to exude confidence we were talking about. And then your daily gratitude journal, a sort of a template of how to structure our daily gratitude journal indicating the categories we were talking about, as well as where you are now in terms of that particular goal, how far you've come, followed by the steps we need to get to the ultimate goal. But remember it said journey that we have to enjoy. Don't get anxious for the result. We're going to get there, enjoy the journey. Now, we were talking about the meditation. You'll put aside at least ten to 20 minutes of meditation every morning. You could use my meditation practice, revisit the castle once and awhile when things get riled up and you find yourself over anxious about a particular subject, find that giant, and bring it down to what it really is. Let's remind ourselves through these daily meditations. There is nothing we can't handle. We have a complete kingdom at our fingertips to help us see these fears for what they really are. So practice daily meditation. Now, if you want to get a little more intense, try doing 20 minutes at night as well. If you could do 20 minutes in the morning first thing in 20 minutes before you go to bed. Fantastic. And not just the castle, but just breathing, just focusing on your breath. I'm telling you that's gonna do wonders for your confidence and so many other aspects of your life. And also to remember, the physical is very important. Have something, whether it's an elastic band or just a little something, something, something that you can have with you to remind you that, hey, Oh, right, there we go. I need to engage. I need to watch my posture. I need to be conscious of my physicality because it tends to leave us, I'm guilty of it all the time as well, especially when I'm doing a character, I sometimes forget that I need to emote the character. So this sort of brings you back into that oh, pasture up, leading with the chest relaxed, engaged, include everybody around you. So being well pastured keeps your beacon open and awareness to the, to the room versus just one person. And this makes you a great communicator on stage and, or in any social event or any social situation, commit to it as much as you can. I know we're busy, we have a lot going on. But at least now you have something tangible, physical for you to do, to practice with, to being that confident individual for the world to see and admire. 16. CONGRATULATIONS! : Congratulations, you should be very proud of herself. This in this journey is not easy. Could be very emotional for a lot of people being the dynamic, outgoing Turkey, turkey person who everybody loves is not everybody. Some people, it takes effort. Like I said earlier in this program, building confidence is a skill and I've provided you with tangible techniques that you can now implement on a daily basis to build that confidence. A great acting teacher once told me the reason why people get standing ovations is because we are courageous. We are willing to go to the edge, or a lot of people are afraid of gold. Why do you think we follow leaders, people who are courageous? This is our time to be courageous. Best version of yourself. You've worked hard enough to get to this point. Don't let fear and anxiety be the one to hold you back. They'll let it be the veil that separates your greatness to the world. You have a lot to say, you have a lot to give. Use these techniques to now be able to bring all this to the forefront. We all have our own unique fingerprint in this world, there's only one version of ourselves. We are the diplomats, we are the representatives of us, are essence, be the best king of your kingdom. Your subjects and guards will rally behind you because we are all on the same quest. The quest to be the best version of ourselves.