Day 01

Today I noticed that no matter how much I try to avoid my current circumstances, I cannot fully evade them; they always grab my attention. Anyways, today I wanted to write about my day and how I felt about it at the end.

First of all, I started my morning well. I woke up early, had my coffee, did some stretching, and read 20 pages of a book. Sometimes, you know when you feel motivated to show your parents what you can do and start off strong, but then you drain all your energy as time goes on. I felt that at some point, but I didn't give up.

It was raining since morning (partly the reason for my gloomy mood), and I noticed later the radiant colors of the trees, houses, sky, and everything outside through my window. It made me relax a little and motivated me to get back to work. Again, I made myself a hot coffee and did some reading. Soon evening came, and I took a break.

Day 02

Today I noticed that sometimes I feel negative, mean, and toxic. I push people away, thinking the problem is me. I fear that if I stay happy with someone for too long, I'll end up heartbroken and crying for days after a breakup. After talking to my friend, I realized that the person you love talking the most won't stay with you forever. I need to be more emotionally intelligent. I always motivate others and give them solutions, but I neglect my own mental health. I feel like I'm always giving to everyone without expecting anything in return. From today onwards, I will put myself first because, in the end, it's just me.

Day 03

Today, honestly, I did not notice much outside as my time went by just reading. Usually, I do it on my balcony, watching the sky and people going to and fro, enjoying the evening wind, but today it was not possible due to the rain. The night became visible through my window, and that's how I realized how rapidly the hours passed by in the blink of an eye. Now, I am sitting here, writing this journal. After finishing, I felt joy in writing and putting my feelings down on paper, and I would like to do this every day as much as I can.

Day 04

Today I noticed that I can only feel pure love from my family. They are the only ones capable of truly making my day. Although they don't always show it, their simple acts prove it. This morning, my throat felt heavy, so my mom made me ginger tea. Throughout the day, she kept giving me things to eat and drink, and by the evening, I was feeling better. My dad recently bought me a tablet, which made me very happy. I realized that my father's way of showing love is by buying me things. Sometimes I felt bad about it, but then I realized that my relationship with my father is closer than with my other siblings. It doesn't mean I get more things; it just means I talk to him more than they do.

Day 05

Today I noticed everything is going well, pretty much. I am no longer feeling lonely.I am just feeling fine. I no longer need anyone's companionship or the need for someone to be by my side. I want to be with myself now. I need me. I just want to be alone and spend time with myself. Sometimes I feel numb, but I think it's okay for a moment because later I am just going to be fine. I have nothing much to write today. Still, I have many things in mind, like how a few weeks earlier I insulted someone and he did pretty much say back to me, which hurted like hell because no one has ever judged me like that, or mocked me. This was all in the heat of the moment, and we both apologized, but still, I feel hurt. He no longer has the space in my heart. due to that, and I just separated myself from that toxicity. Nowadays, people don't know how to control their anger, speak senselessly, and regret it later. It applies to me sometimes, and I am trying to restrict myself from doing that most of the time. I want to feel something that is not love but something beyond that. which I feel for myself, and it makes me feel good and proud—that kind of feeling I'm talking about. I know it's pretty confusing. Alas! Let us go now to gain knowledge, or else time will pass, and we wouldn't want that to happen. I don't want to regret anything anymore. So I'll just live from now on.

Day 06

Today I noticed in the depths of my heart, there's a pain so deep, it feels like a sad song playing over and over again. Now, all that's left are memories of a love that once shined bright but now feels distant, lost in time. So here I am feeling broken and lost in memories, wishing for a sign of hope, a chance to start anew. But in the quiet of the night, all I have are my own sad thoughts, a reminder of a love that was once alive but now feels like a distant dream.

Day 07

Today I noticed the sun's gentle kiss,

A warmth that whispered moments of bliss.

In the sky, clouds painted a canvas so vast,

Each one a memory from the past.

Birds sang melodies in the morning light,

Their songs a reminder that all is right.

Flowers bloomed with colors so bright,

Nature's beauty a wondrous sight.

But amidst this beauty, a feeling so deep,

A longing for a love I used to keep.

Today I noticed, in the midst of it all,

That sometimes even beauty can make the heart fall.

Day 08

Today I noticed the gentle rustle of leaves while enjoying myself reading in my balcony and it soothes my mind. Peace is not merely the absence of noise but the presence of serenity within oneself. In this simple observation I found a moment of peace, a reminder to pause, breathe, and appreciate the beauty that surrounds me.

Day 09

Today I noticed how everyday I aspire to make my parents proud of me, to be a beacon of light that shines brightly in their eyes. I yearn to walk a path of diligence and determination, striving to achieve my goals. How I always try to work hard only to be loved by them and gain their attention. I know it is kind of a childish wish but I think it has always been my utmost desire to give them everything they deserve because of the sacrifices they made for me everyday.

Day 10

Today I noticed, as I sit in solitude, the rain softly pattering outside creating a serene backdrop for my thoughts. With pen in hand, I open my journal, its pages eager to capture the whisper of my soul. I find solace in the act of writing, pouring my heart out onto the blank pages. In the embrace of solitude, my journal becomes a sanctuary, a place where my truest self finds expression and peace. I am eager to pour my feelings down the page where I sometimes bleed sometimes I enjoy describing joyous part of my day. I hope that I never leave this writing habit of mine as it is the only thing that listens to me and console every inch of my being.

Khushi Tab

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