02 de diciembre 2025 1:50 am

I talked to Shirel and we made some plans for this week. I'm really saying things I'm not sure I want to do.

"I am the salt of the earth." That's what Scott quoted. "I am the salt of the earth." That quote keeps echoing in my head.

How and in what way have I touched the souls of some people who are or have been in my life?

Alexia said any girl would be very lucky if I loved her. She listed attributes she genuinely believes define me. What a beautiful soul she has. I think I'll accept her invitation to dinner this week. It's time to allow myself to fall in love, to show myself as I truly am, without fear. With her, I've always had that... I don't even know how to express the exact nature of our bond. I can only say it's genuine and so warm.

Jack is now more of a concept to me than a person. I don't know who or what she is like now. I only partially remember the chapter we shared years ago.
Back when I didn't yet have a very clear idea of what love felt like.
I don't know exactly how she remembers me, but for many reasons, I can think she must dislike me quite a bit.
Perhaps I'm making too much of myself, and she probably doesn't even think about me at all.
But her tenderness, her silences, her spontaneous and curious gestures, along with the gentleness and sweetness of her spirit, captivate me every time I remember her. I won't feel that way about anyone else. I can't erase her because she's part of my story. She taught me a lot, and I'm grateful to her for having loved me in the same way and with the same intensity that I loved her back then.

Shirel is somewhat bittersweet. I don't have any ill will or feelings toward her, but because of how events unfolded and how my mind interpreted them, I've troubled my soul on a few occasions, experiencing torturous nights and gray, melancholic days.
She's a unique person. Although at first I couldn't quite put my finger on my feelings for her, when the end came, my doubts were cleared up. She truly made me feel.

Nicole was there for me for weeks afterward. She held my hand, kept my heart burning, and now that I'm putting it into words, I realize that her intentions were always pure and my well-being was her only thought.
I regret taking out my frustration on her. Even when I apologized for it, she showed me that she forgave me before I hurt her. Now she's with a good guy. She's happy, and I'm so glad. She deserves the best the world has to offer. Now I can see how important she was to me, and still is.

I don't know what the next step is; I feel a bit shaky and lost. However, a flame still burns in my heart. As small as it may be, I know I can rekindle it and expand it into something more, to keep growing and becoming, day by day, the Rick I like, respect, admire, and love.

I'll write to you soon, I don't know what you'll be doing, but I'm proud of the man you are.

Ricardo Amano

--

5