CREATE YOUR PERSONAL SOCIAL SKILLS TRAINING PLAN

Step 1

So your first step is to create a “training plan” for yourself.

Write down at least 10 social situations that are stressful or uncomfortable for you. They should be situations you want to be able to deal with though. No awful social situations that no one should have to deal with! These might be related to your goals in whatever area of life you wish to improve your social confidence in.

Then give them a rating from 1 to 10. 1 means it’s a little stressful, but doable. 10 means, the situation is super scary to you and right now you cannot imagine being in it.

Then sort the situation from easiest to hardest. This is your training plan!

Step 2

Your second step is to write out common conversation starters or questions to ask in these social situations. Also, potential conversation topics that you are passionate about to give more ideas on potential questions to ask and see if you can find commonalities within these topics.

PRO TIP: Based on the three ways I share on starting conversations use either a question, humor, and or seek to be of service.

Step 3

Now you can start training! Put yourself in the easiest situation repeatedly. Do this until it no longer feels scary or uncomfortable.

Then, you can go on to the next step and start “training” with the next difficult situation. Keep doing this, until you learn to deal with all situations. This approach is also called “creating a fear ladder”. You know, because you climb up the ladder, from easy to hard.

For example, part of your difficult situation may be joining groups or "tribes" with similar interests as you. These groups may make it easier to socialize since you can more easily relate to people there.

If you already have a hobby that you do in a group, perfect. Work on deepening those relationships. Maybe go for a coffee with a few people from there. Do something outside of the usual “hobby stuff” with them.

PRO TIPS

One of the best ways to deal with any social situation as you have seen in the video lessons is to ask questions and to become an interviewer. Your task is basically to find out something new about people. Simply by asking them questions. (Not yes or no questions! Open-ended ones!)

Make sure to keep it light, fun and social. Also, focus on what you are curious about. This will make you be authentically interested and will alleviate anxiety or having pressure to come up with things to say.

You will be discovering new things! Best of all, you will build a very important social skill, listening. Everyone loves to be listened to! It's a win-win situation!

Eye Contact

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You can also start with eye contact as part of your social skills training. Eye contact is something that you can train. Start by looking into peoples’ eyes whenever you can. On the street, at work, while shopping…etc.

This might feel pretty uncomfortable at first. So if you need a good trick to help you get over that here is one. Give yourself a task. Make sure to find out everyone’s eye color! No matter if you pass them on the street or if you directly interact with them.

After practicing this for a while, you will start noticing a difference. There will be a difference in the way you feel about the people around you. You will feel more connected, more “social”. You will change your perspective on other people. They won’t be just objects in space anymore. But other beings with whom you can connect.

From here you can go onto your training plan or simply continue onto the following; greeting people & starting conversations, having longer conversations, exchanging information, setting up a meetup and possibly hosting a small gathering. One habit at a time.

That’s all for the social skills project exercises.

Let me know if you have questions or need any guidance.

Best of luck!! :)

Phoenix Hodges

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