For context, Ben Sisko is the Captain of the Federation Station Deep Space 9 of the Start Trek Series - Star Trek Deep Space 9. In the middle of Season 6, the Federation is getting pounded by the Dominion army, and a stream of continuous losses slowly takes its toll on Benjamin. This diary entry happens before the Seson 6 episode - In the Pale Moonlight

Dear Diary

Today is Friday..... I've grown to hate Fridays as of late. As Commanding Officer of this station, one of most onerous duties that I have to perform, and that which I least look forward to doing, is publishing the weekly casualty report. This war with the Dominion is going to decide the fate of the entire Alpha Quadrant & as much as I'd like to say that we're making progress, we're WINNING, my naive fantasies are crushed the minute I see those casualty reports.

I remember feeling like this, the same feeling of dread, of helplessness, only one time in my life before this war - it was in the battle of Wolf 359, the day that my wife died. I wish I am able to do something about that, but every time I come up with a new plan of action that meets Starfleet top brass approval, the Dominion seem to be able to outplay us at every turn. The Dominion doesn't play by any arbitrary rules, they don't have any real sense of honor, no treatises, no code of ethics that need to be followed, no papers to be signed. Oh but I do!!! Starfleet does. Yesterday I had a meeting with Starfleet top brass. According to our intelligence reports there have been constant sightings of Dominion warships violating the borders of neutral factions within the Alpha Quadrant, the biggest of which being the Romulans. But the Romulans don't care. To them, as long as the Dominion takes pot shots at the Federation & the Klingons, they're happy to sit back and enjoy the fun.

IT'S STUPID!!! They're just sitting idly by, having a laugh, watching the chaos unfold while we are trying our best to not die!!!

To add to that, I've also grown to hate pointless meetings with Starfleet Command. Anytime any one of us Station Commanders bring up an unorthodox tactic that could tip the scales in our favor, we're shot down by some random piece of paperwork. Some stupid treaty we'd be breaking, that at best, has tenuous relevance to our situation, yet those damn truce & treaties & pacts we signed over the centuries stop us from doing anything, while the Dominion can do whatever they want for maximum reward..... it's almost as though just executing whatever plan we come up with instead of waiting for top brass approval is just an infinitely better idea at this point. AT LEAST WE'LL E DOING SOMETHING!!! Hmmmmm.....

Anyhow, it's almost 0930hrs. I need to get that damn casualty report in my office now. I wonder if I'll be sleeping on that last thought tonight. Time to get back to the daily grind, I guess

- Ben Sisko

Anirudh Seshasayee

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