Your Extraordinary Life: How To Live A Life With No Regrets | Alain Wolf | Skillshare

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Your Extraordinary Life: How To Live A Life With No Regrets

teacher avatar Alain Wolf, Social Skills Consultant

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

23 Lessons (1h 34m)
    • 1. Welcome To This Course

    • 2. Regret#1 Revealed!

    • 3. How to discover your true purpose in life

    • 4. how to discover what your values are & how to live by them

    • 5. how to create an action plan for your life

    • 6. 5 keys to create a successful & fulfilling life

    • 7. Regret#2 Revealed!

    • 8. how to balance your life to live with no regrets

    • 9. How to audit your life to save many hours per day

    • 10. how to save 1 hour per day

    • 11. Regret#3 Revealed!

    • 12. How to kill your fears

    • 13. how to show your true self

    • 14. how to double your self confidence

    • 15. how to boost your self image

    • 16. how to use the FRD model to express what you really want

    • 17. Regret#4 Revealed!

    • 18. Communication mastery: focus on people, needs, make them talk

    • 19. your energy & body language secrets

    • 20. 5 social dynamics secrets that will change your life forever

    • 21. Regret#5 Revealed!

    • 22. The power of optimism

    • 23. 5 secrets to be happy everyday

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About This Class

Most people think they still have a lot of time to live their dreams and they wait...Then what happens is that people end up with huge regrets at the end of their lives. This course aims to overcome this challenge by discussing the top 5 regrets that people have in life and how to avoid them so you can live an amazing & fulfilling life.

Learn The Top 5 Regrets Of People In Life & How To Avoid Them

    • Find your true life purpose
    • Live a life true to yourself
    • Learn to save many hours per day
    • Learn to be more productive
    • Boost your confidence & self image
    • Learn social skills secrets
    • Learn to be happy everyday

Live An Amazing Life By Avoiding The 5 Top Regrets People Have In Life

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent years taking care of people at the end of their lives. By talking to them, she discovered the top 5 regrets of people.

In this course, you will learn what the 5 top regrets people have in life are and you will also learn tools & techniques to avoid having those regrets so you can live an extraordinary life!

You will learn how to live a life true to yourself and unleash your inner potential. You will discover your true purpose in life, know who you are & know your strengths, discover what your values are, create an action plan for your life & learn 5 secrets to create a successful life. You will then walk through the world with ease.

You will learn how "not to work so hard". You will learn how to balance your life so you can live without regrets, how to save many hours per day and how to do more by doing less. You will then be super productive and you will have time to do the things you love!

You will learn how to express who you really are. I'll show you how to kill you inner fears, teach you how to show your true self, help you increase your self confidence & self image and also share with you an expression model to express what you really want in life. You will then be someone of integrity.

You will learn many social skills secrets & communication tools to become socially successful and live a life of social success!

The last section will show you how to really be happy everyday!

Meet Your Teacher

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Alain Wolf

Social Skills Consultant



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Alain Wolf is an award-winning entrepreneur, best-selling author, philanthropist, and the world's leading transformational coach.

His work has been featured on CBS, NBC, ABC,... See full profile

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1. Welcome To This Course: Let me ask you a question. Do you want to live a life with no regrets? Why did she could avoid having the five top regrets people having like, imagine you could unleash your true potential amoeba fulfilling lives. How would you like to improve if you could become your own hero? Just imagine you are 99 years old and you are on the deathbed. All of a sudden, you have the chance to come back to right now. What would you do? Let's play again. I would like to ask you fight important question to see how you are living your life. Do you sometimes live a life based on what other people expect of you? This sometimes works really hard and don't have time to do things that are important to you. Do you sometimes have trouble expressing your feelings. Do you sometimes don't have time for the French? You sometimes feel unhappy as you answered yes to any of those questions. If that's the case, then discussed can help you to avoid having the five top regrets that people have at the end of their lives. Most people don't really leave the life he really wants and ended up having regrets. That's why actuated a complete code that will unleash your true potential and prevents you from having the fight top regressed. People have at the end of the lights, get rid of this feelings of anxiety and self-doubt about how you should live your life. You will learn how to avoid the 50 progress people have in life. How to unleash your true potential? How to live a fulfilling life. How to be happy everyday. And so much more. 2. Regret#1 Revealed!: Regret number one. So the first regret that people have at the end of the life is I wish I would have the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. So this is the most important regrets that people have advent of the lives. So Bronny where says this one's the most common regrets of old. When people realized that the life is almost over and look back Larry on it. It's easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not Arnold's even half of the dreams and had to die, knowing that it was Jews, two choices, the head made or not made. Health brings a Freedom very few realize until they no longer have it. So in this section, we'll really focus on what are the things that you want to do in your life? What is your life purpose? You will start thinking for yourself, not what you parents, what your friends are, what your family want, but really what you really want in life. And here we like to make another key distinction. Here it says that it was due to choices they had made or not made. Most people think that if they delay the fact that they want to accomplish your dreams, you just say, yeah, tomorrow or the day after or next week, I want to start accomplishing my dreams. There are always dealing it. The thing that they are not taking the decision to accomplish their dreams. But the thing is that they are taking the decision not to accomplish, not to accomplish their dreams. Because they took a decision that they didn't want to accomplish your dreams. And then there are always delaying it. Now, let's jump right in. Now. Let's start with the first tool and techniques so that it can help you to avoid having these regrets. 3. How to discover your true purpose in life: What is your life purpose? Most people don't know. I would say 99% of people don't know whether life a person is and they die and they have no idea. So Intersection, I want to give you five tools that you can use so that you can try toe, uncover and discover your life purpose. But before sharing this five tools with you, I would like to make a T distinction here. Most people think that you either find your purpose or you don't. But that's not true because you are always discovering it's Let's say that you just have a direction. You want to go in this direction, you know that you want to go in this direction and say, OK, that's my life purpose. But then you go and then you think, OK, maybe that's not that Maybe I want to go to these direction here, and you are always removing the layers and discovering your life purpose. So I want you to have this mind set off. It's not. You have it, or you don't just that you are moving toward the direction that's leads to life purpose. Maybe you will find it, or maybe you don't, but the thing is that that's really important to be moving forwards and to go in the direction that you think is your life purpose. Now the five techniques The first technique I would like to share with you is one that really helped me a lot. It's cold. The $1 million question. Let's imagine that now I would give you $1 million. I know I'm really generous. No, but let's be serious here. I'm giving you $1 million. What would you do with your life? You have this money. It means that you have enough to leave to take care of your family to travel. You have enough money because you have $1 million. Now what would you do with this time with this free time that you have? Let's see that you have five years. You say okay for the next five years, I have to figure out what I want to do. What would you do? And that's something that I really encourage you to do is to take a piece of paper and a pen and to write down what you think what you would like to do during these five years. You have $1 million. So it's not about okay? How am I going to make money? It's OK. What do I want to do with this? Five years that I have? Why is this question is really important? It's important because most people, when they try to find their life purpose. That's okay. Yeah, but I want earn enough with it. Yeah, but it doesn't make money. And now is that we're removing the psychological barriers that you have related to money. That's why I'm giving you money. So in your mind, it's not about making money. It's about okay. What do I really want to do? So we are removing that. So I really encourage you to post this video and toe. Think about that. If I would give you $1 million what would you do in the next five years? How would you spend your life now? The tool Number two, The funeral exercise. This one here is a really intense one. So I really encourage you to do it because you would see how powerful it is. Imagine that you can attend your own funeral. It means that you are sitting in the front row and then you see and you hear what everyone is saying about you and this is the key here because what you want is to focus on what your friends would say about you. What's your parents would say about you? What your family would see about you, what you burst would say about you, what your co workers would say about you and this is really great here because most people , they don't think that far. But they do that. They dressed leave their life on a day to day basis, and then they arrive at the end of the life. And then they have regrets what we're doing here, it's called reverse engineering. So it means that you go to the end off your life, and then you come back here and I really encourage you to write down what everyone would say. You have the personal category and the professional category. So the personal category would be, for example, what would you romantic partners say about you? What food your friends say about you? What would your family say about you? What would you close his friends say about you and this is really interesting because then you will learn who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. Because what do you want to friends to say about you? Do you want to your friends to say that you were great person, that waas trying to help others by doing that and that that was really generous. What do you want your friends to say? What do you want your family to say? What do you want your closest friend to say? And then you can also go with a professional category. What would you bust say? Do you have a bus? Are you an entrepreneur? What would your employer years say? Well, they say that you were really rude with them, that you didn't respect them, that you were only thinking about money over you. Someone that was taking care of others that was always looking to make them feel good. Because then if you define what you want the other people to say at your funeral at your own funeral, then you will see that you will have a better direction. Because you know what she wants them to see at the end. And then you have a clear direction because let's say that, for example, you are working and you have a job that you hate. Let's say that you are working at, um in an international company in the marketing department and you hate it. You hate it. You simply hate it. And then you want your friends to say that you were always following your dreams and going for each once. And then you see this disconnect here that you have the city job here that you hate and you want to be someone at the end of your life that followed his streams. You see here there's a disconnect and then you can make a change now. So this is the second exercise. Now the third exercise. Imagine that there is a genius here and the genius says you have one wish, Alan. You have one wish. You can get the life you want. You have one wish. What would you be doing? It's not about money. I can give you money. It's It's not about money. I will. I will give you money. I will give you what you want. What do you want? What is the life that you want to be leaving. Do you want to be? Do you want to have a small apartment somewhere? Do you want to live in a big city? Do you want to have a wife? Do you want to have Children? What do you want to do? What you want to do. And who do you want to be? And what do you want to have? I will give you everything. You have one wish. What do you want to do? Can you describe me the life that you want? And it's not about money? Because I will be giving you a lot of money. This is what the genius would say. Now it's time to think you have one wish. How do you want to live your life? What do you want to do and what you want to have? So imagine that you write this letter to the genus. You have one letter that again right to him. What would you write in this letter? Do you want to have a big house? You want to have an apartment? What do you want to have? Most people would say You know what? I want to have everything. All the money in the world. Do you really want it or do you want, for example, the freedom associated with a lot of money? So you really have to think deeply here about what you really want and then write down his letter to the genius. Okay, This is a really great exercise because it gives you unlimited possibilities because you don't limit yourself to what you think you can do. But you say okay, there is ah, genius. And then I can ask him to do and to have what I want to have. What do you really want? We're here with these exercises. We are removing the upside psychological. It's by re years that you have the force exercise. It's called the newspaper article. Imagine that someone would write an article about you in the newspapers in one year from now and five years from now. Who do you want to be remembered as? What do you want this journalist to write in the article? Do you wants to be featured on CNN or do you want to be featured on your local newspaper? Don't limit yourself to that. But what you want to be doing instead it think be okay. you have this dream. You have this ambition. Where and what do you want a journalist to write about you. Will you be featured on the Sydney Morning Herald? Off will be featured on CNN or will be featured on the University Journal. Where do you want to be featured in? And what will the journalists say about you? What's really interesting here is that let's say that your on entrepreneur and do you want to accomplish something big? You can think about the steps and how you accomplished it. Even if you don't know it now, you can start focusing on how you can accomplish it. You can say that again five years from now. I want to be featured on CNN and the person would say that I influenced 10,000 people because I created a lot off online trainings that were really amazing. Then I can think about the article I can say OK, the online. Okay. The online trainings I created in the studio that I had in Sydney and every morning I woke up at 6 a.m. And I had This is Dr from 6 a.m. To 10 p.m. I was working nonstop and everyone will tell Waas telling me you don't do it. Don't do it, Alan. It will be a complete failure. But that was pushing through. And then I made it. You can write down the article about what do you want to have accomplished in five years? Where do you want to be featured in and also how you accomplished it? Because then you will think a little bit more deeply on how you can accomplish what you want, so I really encourage you to do it. The last exercise is called the Julie Ruin Destiny. So there are five questions that I will ask you now, and I really encourage you to just pose the video and then answer. The question here will ask you five questions and this five questions are related. So it means that when you write down the answer for the 1st 1 then the 2nd 1/3 and 4th 1/5 1 You just have t to look for the things that are in common, and then you would have a clear vision or a better vision about what you really want in your life. So the first question is who and What did you grow up around? For example, in my case, my father was an international speaker and he was traveling all around the world. And as a child, I was always following him and I really liked it. He was teaching people about engineering, and I really liked it because since I was a child, I was always traveling with him and discovering the words. And I really had this chance to do that. And now that's something I allow. So my job now I'm also an international speaker. What I do that I travel and I teach people how they can increase the social skills, self confidence and how they can have a better life. So you can see here that your childhood and who you grew up around has an influence on your life now because we know that your education, your friends, when you were a child, the environment when you were a child has a powerful influence. Now it's time to think. Think about what's and who did you grow up around and writes down the key points? Now the second question, Why did you want to be when you wear 14 years old? Why do we ask this question? Because there is a theory that says that before 14 years old you are free from the social conditioning free from your parents telling you that you should make money use. You should stop dreaming. You should stop. You should stop doing things that will make money later. And by asking you this question, what's and who did you want to be when you were 14 years old? We want to tap in this energy that you have in your really court and adjacent. Okay, I want to be a doctor. I want to be a vet. I want to be a lawyer or I want to be a painter. So we want to reconnect with that. So please write down what and who did you want to be when you were 14 years old. Now the third question, what have you bean doing for the last 10 years? There is a low that says that to master something, it takes 10,000 hours. So what have you been doing for the past 10 years? Let's say that, for example, you really like marketing. And for the past 10 years, you have been doing marketing So you know that there is something there, so there's just write down. What have you been doing for the past 10 years? Now the next question, The next question. Why do strangers or even your friends complimented you on? In my case, my friends were always complimenting me on how I could have them with their personal problems. So I knew there was something there. And then I discovered that I wanted to be a coach. So what do people compliment you on? Do they compliment you on on how organized you are on Ah, how creative you are, on how you can have them or on your computer skills? What's do they compliment you on and write it down? Then the next question. Imagine that you had to spend one entire night with your friends and you had to discuss about something. What would be deceptive? Because if you could spend an entire night discussing about this topic with your friends, you know that you like it and you are passionate about it. And this is also something that you want. In my case, I could spend an entire night discussing about personal development. Okay, so it's important that you think about it and then when you have the answers, try to combine them. In my case, when I was a child, I waas always traveling with my father, giving conferences. Then, for the past 10 years, I have been helping people to improve the lives. I know that my friends compliments me on how I can have them with the problems. So in my case, I put everything together and that that's what I'm doing now. I'm coaching people, and I'm traveling around the world as an international speaker to help people to improve their lives. So it's really up to you to take the elements that you haven't tried to combine them and see that if you like it. So now in this section you have already five tools, five powerful tools, and these are the best ones that you can have to create the life you want. Now don't worry if you still don't have it, but it's really good to have a direction, and I I really hope that at least you have a direction. You have a direction where you want to go. At least you have it. If you have it, that's really great. Now remember, it's about removing all the layers that you have around you. And most of the time people say I don't know what my life purpose is, but they do. It's just that they are afraid off doing it. Or maybe they're afraid of what other people would think of them. They're afraid off what could happen. They have these fears, though. Think really. You have to be honest about yourself to take time to really maken introspection to really see inside you what you want to do and who you want to be. So with this five exercises here, I hope it helps. 4. how to discover what your values are & how to live by them: Most people are depressed because they leave by the lowest values. Let me explain. Let's say that you talk to values our growth and then family, and you have a job. Why you can't get the promotion and you don't get to see your family because you work 15 hours, but eight, this person will be really depressed. Why? Because the two most important things the two most important values that this person has this person doesn't live by them. Let's say that, for example, your biggest value he's growth, then you have family, then you have health. Then you have contribution. And what you do is that you have a job that doesn't make you grow. That doesn't make you contribute to the world. And that's kills your helps. Because you have to work 15 hours per day, you will be fucking depressed. Why? Because you're not leaving by your values. What does living by your values mean? It means that you should define what your values are. Prioritize them from 1 to 5 and then see analyzed if you are living by your values now. So the question is, what are your values? They encourage you to post this video and write down your five top values. Is it gross? Is that your family? Is that your health? Is it good? What is it? What are the five things that you really value? And then when you have them, prioritize them, for example. For my case, I know that gross its growth contribution. Then it's the how to have a balanced life. Then I have my family. So I know that I'm a leaving by my values because I know that I'm always growing with my business. I contribute. I loved I have a balanced life because I can work when I want. And I have time to see my family. So I'm leaving in alignment with my values. And it is something that I really want you to try to move to. This place where you are in alignment with your values, so defined your values, your five values. Then prioritize them and then be honest with yourself. Are you living by these values? And you can see that there is something odd. If you defined the five values and you're not leaving by them, you can see that there is a disconnect here and that What makes most people unhappy, so I really want you to be happy and fulfilled. So if you see that the five values that you defined are important to you and you're not leaving by your values now, you should stand it. You should really change it. Find a way toe, fulfill these values. Let's say that, for example, growth is your top value, and then you have a job that's doesn't make you grow end. You know that you can get a promotion. You can see here that that's a problem. You want to send your job to look for another job. Maybe that's a good option. Why? Because it said it says your top value. And if it you talk value, that's important to you and you fear not fulfilling this value, it means that you will be unhappy and unfulfilled. So you should really think about Are you fulfilling these values now? And if no, maybe it's time to make a tent 5. how to create an action plan for your life: how to create a new action plan. First, I would like to discuss something. It's really important that you start with what you have now you can start with, even if you have a little bit off information. Let's say that, for example, you want to work in marketing, but you don't really know instead of just waiting to know saying that Oh, I would just wait to see if I like marketing. You can be proactive about it. You can say OK, today I will call five companies and then I will ask them if I can work for them for free for one week, I will work and I will call an international company. Are we call a startup? I will call this person. I will call this company and then you see with virus companies so that's you can get as quickly as you can the information that you want to adjust your direction. In this case, you know that you want to do something in marketing, but you don't know what exactly. So it's really important that you don't wait, but that you act with information that you have now as quickly as you can and then you are just based on the new information you got. And this is a key distinction here because most people, they just wait most people. And what I did is that I started university. I say, Yeah, I want to do something with people like, I want to work in an international company and work with people. You know, It's OK, I have time and we dressed, spend five years learning at university and then figure out and what I should have done before is before starting university sing. Okay, what do I really want? And then, for example, cold. I should have cold cos toe asked work for them for free to really see what I wanted to do to have the clear vision. Because if you have the clear vision and the clear vision that you have, the better it is because you will be able to focus on what you want and then later in the school in the course will see the power off focus. So it's really important to act now based on the information you have. And then when you have your purpose in your vision, that is defined any, consider it as defined then and only then you should create an action plan. Then you can say OK, what are the things that I want in one year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now and then create deadlines and then you can treat an action plan based on what you want. Don't be to focus on the how it's really important to be focused on your vision because the how consent you can have a path, you can have a vision here, and then you have steps and deadlines. But then something can happen and in changes, maybe someone introduces you to someone else, and then you have a new a new path, and then you have to address your direction. It's really about having the vision, the clear vision, so really focus on the spot here, focusing on having the clear vision and then treat the action plan. But it should be more like a guide rather than really a plan that you should really execute . It's more like a guy you can say, OK, OK, this year I want to get my degree, OK, next year I want to do that exactly exactly. It's more like you on a boat and then you are sitting on this boat, and then you have the direction and you goes, Then the way it goes here, our cam moron going here. Okay, now the wave goes here. Now I have to do that with the boat, and then you addressed You do it. Exactly. This is how it should be. So don't be to focus on the plan, but have more, like a guide and your vision that is highly important. 6. 5 keys to create a successful & fulfilling life: no five days to be successful in life and to live a fulfilling life. First, surround yourself with people like you and who you want to be. In my case, I am an entrepreneur. And when I started entrepreneurship, I was with people that where risk averse, they hated risk. They hated people who were following the dreams and they were really negative. And this is the worst form entrepreneur and the courts that says that we are the average off. The five people we hang out with is so true. I was not in the right group, so I was not able to grow. I had to change my friends and I had to change the environment. And now I have an environment that is really supportive and that is encouraging me to build my dreams. And it is so important because if you are with people and I include want you to be with people that are a little bit ahead of you so that you can learn really quickly from them. So think about the environment. Is it helping you? Is it serving you, or is it putting you down and I really, really encourage We would see the power that if you change your environment, toe a better environment if you don't, if you don't have one yet you can see the power that people that will delight you, encouraging you to do what you want. And you will see this energy that will really make you save a lot of time and will fast track your results. The 70 focus on what you want in life. Most people say You know what, Alan? I know what I don't want in life. I don't want starts that that that that. But then you focus on it. You fuck is on the things because your brain can see the difference between the positive and the negative. If I say don't look here, you look here. If I say look here, you look here. So if you focus on the things that you don't want, your brain won't understand. And what your brain will do that he your brain with focus on the things but other things that you don't want so focus only on the things that you want and you will see that your life would really change with that key. Number three. Give yourself time to think it's important to take time to really sit down and think. Okay, Who do I want to be? What do I want to have in my life? What do I want to be? Who do I want to be in five years? What you want tohave in five years takes the time to do that. I see so many people That tells me you know what, Alan? I don't have time. Now. I have this job. I have this family. Or maybe liking. Maybe later. Later, later. Now the time to do that is now sit down. Now you can take the day off or you can do that this weekend. I can even take a trip. What I did is that for a few days I went toe Amsterdam alone and I sat down in my hotel room and I wrote down okay. Who do I want to be? What they want to have take time to do that takes timeto Think about what you want to do and who you want to be. Number four. Your purpose should be bigger than yourself. It's not about only about I want to make money. I want to take value, but your purpose should be about giving value to the world and contributing to something bigger than yourself. If you find your purpose and it contributes to something that is bigger than yourself, your senses off succeeding are higher. Number five and I think it's the most important one. Stop the excuses. Stop with excuses. Start telling yourself, You know what? I could do that, but I don't have enough experience. I could do that, but I But I don't know it will take too much time. Albert, I can do that because someone did it already. Stop with excuse If you see that if you stop with the excuses, you will go a lot faster. And this is really interesting because I learned that from someone that Waas sitting on the plane next to me, I was reading until New Urban's book Awaken the Giant Within and the person next to me, the person said, Hey, that this is an interesting book and then we start talking Then this person, so that I was always saying yes, but yes, but yes, but and giving an excuse. And then the person told me, You know what, Alan, stop with that stuff with excuses. Stop with Yes, but instead off. Yes, but say yes. And and then it sends my life. These this 10 hours that I had with this person I was travelling at eight first from Brazil to Switzerland. It sends my life because now, with my language instead of saying yes. But I say yes. And and I don't use the The problem is I use the solution is because most people who say the problem is that I don't have enough experience Stop with that saints that the solution is that I should do something different and really push forward. You see here that the language is really important. But what I want to focus he and a stop with the excuses because you don't really know if that's true. You can see that people that they don't have limits and they don't give themselves excuses their completion, big things in life. So I don't know. Maybe that's true that you don't have enough experience. But what if not What if it was force and you could really do it so act as if you had no limits and you will see that you will be successful in life 7. Regret#2 Revealed!: re reading on the truth. The regrets that people have at the end of the lives is I wish I hadn't worked so hot. So Brandi, where explains this came from every male passions that I nursed. They missed the Children's use and their partners companionship. Women also spoke of this regrets. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not bean breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regret spending so much of the lives on the treadmill off the work existence. So here in this section, we discuss how you can avoid this regrets by balancing your life, being more productive and saving many hours per day, so that then you can spend time with people you love with your family, and you won't only be focused on working, but you would be focused on the things that are important to you. So let's trump writing 8. how to balance your life to live with no regrets: it's really important to live a balanced life. I would like to illustrate how we can live a balanced life with a concept. Imagine that you have a try cycle. You have the first wheel second well, and third week, the first will is yourself. The second wheel is your family and friends, and then the third wheel is what you do for a living. Now, on the short term, the tricycle can be unbalanced because if you're on the tri cycle and it's a little bit unbalanced, it's okay you won't fold. But if you stay too long and balanced, then you will fall. What I want to illustrate here is that, for example, if you focus too much on your job on the short term, that's okay. But then, on the long run, you will have problems with yourself, with the will that is yourself and the will that is your family and friends. If you focus too much on yourself and not on your family and friends and not on your job on the short term, that's OK to take time for yourself. But then, in the long run, it will be negative. What I wanted to illustrate here is that you should be aware, and you can use this example here off the tri cycle. It means that you can focus on the short term on one category. Off destroy. Say they try cycle, which is yourself, your family and friends and your job, but only in the short term. Because if you do that in the long run, then you will have problems. So it's important. And I ask you this question. Is your tricycle well balanced or where are you? What is the area off alive that you are focusing now? Is it yourself friends and family, or is it your job? So these really great to be aware of it? Because what can happen? Let's say that, for example, you start a new business, so you are focused on your job, and what you do is that you wake up at 6 a.m. And then you work up to 11 PM What you do is your job, your job, a job so it's unbalanced. Your job is your your focuses on your job, but then you have yourself. Maybe you can get a burnout, and maybe your friends and family would say Hey, where are you? So in the short term, that's good to be focused on something because you're embarrassed in something. But in the long run, that's not really good. Then you must be aware that Okay, my focus is my job, man. You company. But then you should also be are. Okay, maybe now it's time that that I take a little bit more care off myself and then my friends and family and then the balance a little bit. Okay, so this is really great. And I encourage you to ask you this question. How is your focus with the tri cycle? There are times that I really good to take one category of for life and go full immersion is that you can really, really, really take it from here to here. But then there are all the times where you just want to maintain this category and go for another one. Because at the end, you want to have a balanced life. So true is one category a few life. We really want to immerse yourself in and work like hell. For example, if it's your social skills, if it's your career, if it's your family life. Just find one focused on it and then maintain the other one. But that's important, too. No, that you also have the other categories, and you must maintain the other categories. Then what you can do is here. I should do the example of the tricycle where you only have three categories, but it's more complex than that. This is really a simple model, because I wanted to illustrate this concept. But then what you can do that you can least your life categories. For example. We have your family, your work. You have, Ah, what's you have money, have wealth, You have relationships, you have your spiritual side. You have everything and you can least your life categories. And then you can see Okay, what are the top three life categories that I'm going to focus on right now? Ulisse. Let's say, for example, it's your career. You want to make more money and you want to spend more time with your family. So then you say, OK, I'm going to immerse myself with these three categories here and then the other ones. That is, for example, my ah emotional side. I'm just going to maintain it. It means that, for example, once a week, I'm going to meditate. 20 minutes. I'm just giving here you an example so that you can understand. So I really encourage you to least the categories, your life categories, and then decide the top three left categories that you want to focus on right now and immerse yourself. But don't forget that you also have the other categories and that you should maintain them . Let's see the street that with an example, let's say that you want to work on what you do for living on your health, and then you won't work on your family. So let's say that, for example, tomorrow you scheduled the day where you're going to work and then we're going to see a family. And then a friend. A friend called you. Hey, let's let's get a beer. What? You should tell this friends that hate to more. I can't because I already have that, and you should tell him. That's because your life can trigger the categories that are the top is your family and you work, and it's above the friendship. I'm not telling you. Don't ever again see your friends. I'm dressed that he knew that when you have a priority and scheduled it on your calendar, it's scheduled, and it's your priority if ever. Friend, that's cogent and you hate Tomorrow we should grab a beer and then you say, Hey, I'm not available. You can say hey to more. I'm not available. But next week, next week I am. It's about setting your life priority. So then it can be bad. So I really encourage you to do that. Do this to exercise here one with the tri cycle and then the other one with the life categories, defined them and then find the top three kids Diggory's that you should really focus on. 9. How to audit your life to save many hours per day: what do you do with your time? And how can you gain more time? Most of the time, we have no idea what we do without time. So wake up in the morning, we do stuff and then we arrive home and then Sordi late. And then we do things and then we sleep and say, Hey, this was a really busy day. I really hope tomorrow will be better and we don't really know what we do without time. We watch TV, we spend time on Facebook. We have no idea what to do without type. So this section here is to really help you to be aware off what would what you do with your time. So I would like toa give you an exercise so that you can see what you do with your time and then you can be more productive. The goal here is that every day, every 30 minutes you should write down in a journal what you do and the type. Let's say that for example, you wake up at 6 a.m. So I would say OK, 6 a.m. I woke up 6 30 0 I was checking Facebook OK, 7 a.m. I was having breakfast. 7 30 I was watching TV eight. I was at work a 30. I was checking my emails. Nine. I was checking my emails. Then when you go home, 5 p.m. I watch TV 5 30 Watch TV six. I watch TV 6 30 I was checking Facebook seven. I was having dinner and then you do that for a few days. The ideal time will be three days. You do that and then you take what you have written and then you start reading it. Then it said, and then you start counting the hours that you watch TV, that you are on Facebook and that you do things that waste your time and you will see that incredible to see that the amounts off time that you spend doing things that are not important to you is incredible. When I did that, it was really eye opening. I'm not telling knew that watching TV is a waste of time. Watching too much TV is so Then you must find the right balance because if you say okay in my life right now, I really want to find a romantic partner. I want to exercise more, but I don't have time. And you see that you spend three hours per day on Facebook and two hours checking your emails and one hour or three hours watching TV. You know, here that you are doing things that you are wasting of time watching TV, checking Facebook five hours per day. You see that you could decrease the amount of time that that is wasted. And what you can do instead is do the things that you want. So now that you have the things that you have written, you just see Okay, what are the things that's you consider is a voice of time, and how could you discreet that? So this is a key question that you should ask yourself, What are the things here that is a waste off my time And what could I do instead? What do I want to do instead? Because if you decrease the time that you watch TV, if you decrease the time that you spend shaking Facebook or doing useless stuff, you would see that you will gain 1234 separate and then you can do the things you want. If you want to exercise more. If you want to go out with friends, you can see that you can see but things that mean first you must be aware. And that's what this exercise about. You must be aware off the things that you do. Then you see the things that ah wasting your time and then you change it to the things that you want to do. So I really encourage you to do this exercise. 10. how to save 1 hour per day: How can you save one hour per day? The key here is to combine activities, for example, instead off going to the gym alone and then seeing your friends. You can go to the gym with your friends and then you can meet them there. It means that you can go, we can work out, and then you can discuss with your friends. The goal here is to combine life categories together. So you have your friends and then you have your health. How can you combine them? Let's say that's for example, you won't. You go to work every morning and you spend half on hour on the bus and you want to the flop your English skills. You want toe speak English better what you can do instead off Just wasting half a now on the bus or checking Facebook. And then when you arrive home, you work your study English for half a Nower. You study English on the bus. It means that you can, for example, read a book on how to improve the English skills, or you can listen to an audiobook you see here the goal is to combine activities. So now my question is. How could you combine toe activities together? Let's take the example or off working out with friends or the example off learning English on the bus. What other things that you do and that, for example, you feel alone or lonely or you think it's a waste of time. How could you combine your life categories together? For example, it's easier to watch TV at night and you want to work out, but you don't have time. What you can do is that you can exercise while watching TV. So then you watch TV and you exercise. I think you got the idea. Now it's your turn to define five ideas off what you can do to combine activities so that you can save more time. And if you do that, you will see that you will save time. So now it's a term. Let's do it 11. Regret#3 Revealed!: regret Number three. I wish I would have the courage to express my feelings. She says many people suppressed the feelings in order to keep peace with others. Other results. They sent it for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable off becoming. Many develop witnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. So here in this section, I want to help you to express who you really are. I will give you an expression, mother, so that you can express what you feel in what you want. A new life to the others. And I was share with you how you can kill your fears and how you can kill these. What other people think off you so that you can express who you really are and avoid having this regret. Okay, lets go. 12. How to kill your fears: Okay, now let's discuss fear. Let's discuss first the fear off, stepping out off our comfort zone. So the comfort in that we have is the zone where we are comfortable in. It means that we have habits. We know that it's safe to be there. We know that we know that it's okay to be there. We know that we are safe now. If we step out of the zone, it will be really uncomfortable because there is the unknown. Let's take my example. I'm living now in Switzerland and in two weeks I'm going toe move everything that I have and I'm going to leave in Brazil. So my comfort zone here is my city here in Lausanne, in Switzerland. And I'm going to change everything. So to step outside my off my comfort zone. And then there will be uncertainty. There will be fear. There will be a lot of things that I don't control. And most people have this fear. And most people never act because they are too comfortable in discomfort zone. And they Yeah, I'm just going toe Wait, that this fear off stepping out of my comfort zone. These appears, but let me tell you something. It's never disappears. What you should do instead, and how can you kill this fear? First, you can try to kill it, but you must be aware that this fear we will always be there. It will always be here. Whatever you do in life, there will be this fear that the sea off stepping out of your comfort zone because it will be the unknown. I don't know what can happens. You don't control everything and you have this fear. This there will always be there, so you should accept it. And you must know that if you never go outside off discomfort doing almost nothing will happen. We can say that the magic happens when you step out off your comfort zone, and that's true. If you want to evolve, you must go and do things that are a little bit uncomfortable. And that and that is beyond your comfort zone. So take the habits every day to do something that you are afraid of doing. Let's say that you're afraid of approaching someone. You're afraid of doing something and let's say that your comfort zone is to not talk to anyone. Hearing today and you want to expand a little bit to comfort them. So what? You can do that every day you go and you just say hi to someone is the goal here is to expand your comfort zone and to be comfortable expanding your comfort. Do I'm not saying just do something extreme to kill your comfort zone. I'm just saying baby stepping. You have you come for doing whatever it is if it's for example, if you want to get a better job and all you want to get a promotion, you can do things that that is a little bit uncomfortable and build these muscle off stepping out of your comfort zone. This is the only way you can kill this fear, and you can't really kill it. But you can decrease this fear by building you must. Now let's discuss the fear off expressing yourself. We all have this fear of expressing yourself because we want to be accepted by people and when were a child and I'm sure it happened to you U N High School and then you wanted to do something and then the teacher said, No, don't do that. Just scout, come down. Come down, come down. You wanted to express yourself and then someone told you know, Don't do it. Don't do it and you can see here with also with social feedback. When you are walking down the street and you do something silly, someone looks at you like this person is weird. And then you say, Oh my God, I can't do that every day we have feedback on our behavior, and that's something that, at the end, if you see too much feedback on the thing that you do, if you're always carrying about what the other people think of you, you will be completely, completely stifled. You will be in your head, you won't know what to do, and you will fear you have this fear off expressing yourself instead what you should do and how can you decrease. This fear is to get to use and baby step the fact that you're expressing yourself. Let's say that, for example, you don't state your own opinions. You don't state your own ideas. So when someone says something and it's against your opinion or your ideas, you don't say anything Now what you can do is that slowly baby step it. Slowly, slowly Start saying, stating your opinion, sharing your ideas. But slowly I'm not standing you. That's for example. Someone says, Hey, I like that data and then you say No. Fuck. You know, I'm not saying that I'm dressing like baby step, You can say, Yeah, I see your point of view, but mine is this one. So this is the example or, for example, you want toe express yourself and share your interests and passions with the world. But you are a little bit ashamed of them. Start slowly. Start with you with your best friend with people you know, and people that you know well, understand what you are doing because here you are evolving your ex, learning to express yourself another great way. And how you can do that is that you can go on holidays and then on holidays you can do whatever you want because no one knows you so you can experiment a lot. So this is what I really recommend. This start experimenting, expressing yourself with baby step. It is a really key concept here. Do things slowly and you can do which people you don't know. For example, on holidays or start with your friends and people that are close to you so that if you seem weird because you won't be really used to it, it won't be a big, bigger, a big issue. 13. how to show your true self: how to show your true self. Let me tell you something. It's better to be hated for who you are rather than being light for who you are not. Let me repeat this. It's better to take the risk off Being hated for who you are Wasn't done being liked for who you are not. You should really express yourself ends be who you want to be. Why? Because people will like you more if you express who you are rather than if you're trying to express and micromanage the behavior that we have to watch them. Remember last time And I'm sure it happened to you. You wear with someone that was trying to please you that didn't have his own opinions that was doing everything he could in his power to make you like him. And what was the feeling that you got from that? I bet it was really uncomfortable. This is what we want out tow. Avoid here. That's why it's important to express your true self how to express your true self. First, you must know who you are, so you must know yourself. You must have your own opinions, your own interest. You must have boundaries. You must be aware if you value so there are many factors here. But the factors that blocks everyone is Ah, If I express myself, what would other people think off me? So this is the biggest fear. Because if we do you remove this fear. You will see that you will be able to express yourself. But what blocks everything. What blocks you from expressing your true self is this fear off what the other people think of you first, let's meet it lets me did you a t here? I think that will change your life forever by worrying about what other people think of you . It's an illusion. It doesn't exist because you are the person that is sending the message and then the other person will receive the message so you can try to control how you send it. But you have no idea how the person really receive it. Let's say that for example, you want to give ah box of chocolates to your neighbors. So you just go and then you knock on the door and say, Hey, he's Ah, a box of chocolate. Now they can responds because you sent the message. Okay, Now they can respond saying Oh, thank you very much. This is the kind of you or the current spawn are really a box of chocolate. Don't you know that I'm trying to lose weight? You can see her. That's your intentions were good. You want to give the box of chocolate, but then the other person can respond positively or negatively and you don't really know it . Let's say that you go and compliment someone. You go and compliment someone in a social situation. Let's say that I go in a compliment. A man or woman the person can see. Oh, thank you very much for the compliment or the person can see. Are you messing with me? Are you really? Are you messing with me or giving this complement? Are you Are you making fun of me? You don't really know. You don't know how the other person is trying toe How is going to react? And most people staying there head thing. Oh my God. How is the other person going to react? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You don't really know And I talk about that in the in my other courses and I want to repeat here the 50% rule. Most people think that they can control 100% of the interaction with the other person. But what they can control is only 50% there, 50% that they have. So by trying by worrying about what the other paper, the other people think of me, I'm trying to control 100% of the interaction. But the only 50% is what I have. I only have 50% of interaction, so I can express myself and I should express myself with what I want and what I like instead of trying to have other people to like me. Because if you try to have other people to like you, you will see that people were like you less. Remember last time that you were with someone that was expressing himself? He was I'm sure he was outgoing. He was happy. He had a great energy and you had a great time. And remember last time that you were with someone that was not expressing himself, he was in his head trying to police you to do whatever this person could to make you like this person. How uncomfortable with it. This is the difference here. So from this section, I really want you to remember the 50% full. And the fact that worrying about what other people think of you is an illusion and also so take the risk off being hated for who you are rather than being liked for who you are not by trying to please everybody. No one will like you if you try to please everyone. No one would really liked you. But then, if you are yourself, you express yourself. You have people that will hate you. But I love you instead of dressing how you this person is OK, so fuck is on expressing yourself, baby, step it and fuck is on your expression. 14. how to double your self confidence: Now let's discuss how you can double your self confidence when you want to express yourself . So we discussed before the fear off what other people think of you. Why it's an illusion now. I would like to increase your confidence, and I would like to explain a little bit how confidence works. So confidence is the fact that you there to express yourself, regard regardless off what other people think of you. So we worked on the what other people think of you. It's an illusion, and you only have 50%. Now let's work on how you can build this confidence off expressing your true self. Most people would say, You know what? You should do something really extreme, and then it will break. You come for don't and give you confidence. Let's say that, for example, you fear stating your own opinion, and what you should do is that you should go on the streets and start screaming. Your Penis is so that everyone can hear them the things that it will help in the short term . But then your brain will pick all the negative feedback from people around you looking at you really weirdly because people live like Who is this guy? Oh, my God. He's so we were. And what Your brain will peak. It's all this negative feedback. You were on the streets streaming your opinion, and then everyone was think, Oh, my God, this person is weird. Weird, weird, weird, weird. And then you go home and then you like Okay. Ah, I did that. I selected it better, but I was really weird. Maybe I shouldn't state my opinion again. What do you want to do instead? And I know here it's the extreme example I gave you. You want to baby step it? So let's say that, for example, you want to state your opinion more often instead off going on the street and stuff creaming it's and get old and getting feedback because you can't really handle that because that's too big. You start smoke again. Here, you should baby stepping. You should baby step the fact that you should state your opinion more often and start with people you know. Start with your friends. Start with your family. You started to say, Hey, my opinion is that at that you start slowly and then it will be your confidence rather than stating your opinion. Toe everyone all the time. If you're not used to it, you want to get positive feedback and the small positive feedback. If you start with the small positive feedback OK, today, I have the small positive feedback to more have the small, positive figments that at that at that at that it will increase and and then you would have these self confidence off expressing yourself. So you should really focus on baby stepping. It's rather than doing something extreme, tries or tries, er's rather than doing something extreme to break your comfort. Um, do small things and be proud of yourself. Celebrate the winds. That's important that after you did something toe, increase your self confidence rather than saying Okay, I still have to improve. Say, Hey, I did it. I'm proud and congratulate yourself for doing that, and that's how you will build this positive feedback loop that will increase and that will increase your self confidence 15. how to boost your self image: Okay, now let's discuss how can boost your self esteem. It's really important to have positive associations with yourself. Otherwise, you won't be really comfortable in social situation or any other situation. If you're not really comfortable with yourself, you can truly express yourself because if you are shy, if you no, that's say something wrong with yourself with your body and you are not really comfortable with it, you will tend to express yourself less. That's why it's important to be as comfortable as you can with your body with your looks. So I encourage you to increased the amount of positive associations that you have towards yourself. How can you do that every night before sleeping? You remember five compliments that people made five compliments that people made about your looks. Let's say that, for example, last week someone complimented you on the car on your eye. Kahlo. Let's say that two weeks ago someone complimented you on your new jackets. Let's say that someone liked your hair cuts a few months ago. Remember Old dis positive feedback. What you want to do here is that we want to filter the positive feedback and discard the negative feedback what we're doing is that every night we're asking ourselves, Okay? What are the positive things that people said about my looks and about how I look? We're not saying Okay, how do I look? How do people like like the way I look? Oh, no. We are really focusing on this question. What are the compliments that people made about me? And then you answer just before sleeping. It takes one or two minutes, but then it will dramatically change your life. Focus on the positive things that people said about yourself. People who have low self image is because the focus on the negative feedback, instead of the positive feedback and what you want to do here is rewire your brain so that you can focus on the negative feedback that people give you. And that's what's so important is that when someone compliments you, you must accept the compliment because most people say, Oh, yes, but it's forcing. But if I compliment you on your hair cut, you can say, Oh, yes, it's good. But it dress because I went to the hairdresser and tomorrow it will be awful. When someone gives you a compliment, you must accept it. Just say, Oh, yeah. Oh, thank you very much. Not say Oh, yeah, thank you very much. But I think the more it will be worse. So I tried to denigrate or try to not accept the compliment and be aware of that is that most people, when you give a compliment, they don't really accept it to say, Oh, yeah, But that's a compliment. Maybe this person was not being honest. I don't know if the special was genuine. I don't know, I don't know, but just accepted. If someone gives you positive feedback accepted, and that's how you will build your self image. 16. how to use the FRD model to express what you really want: I would like to share with you a model, an expression model, so that you can express yourself for more easily when there are situations that are about difficult. This is a model that's changed my life, and I want to share it with you. It's called the F R G model. This is the name in French, so I don't know how it is in English, but I will explain it and you will see that maybe the letters are not the same as in English. It doesn't matter because what's really important is what it means. So the F R G first is facts air for fights are for what you feel and D for desire. So let's take the example off. Let's say that my parents won't need work in an international company and have a marketing job, but I don't want seats, and I want to be an entrepreneur. So my parents say, Hey, Alan, you should really work in international company and have a marketing job. Now I want to express myself, but I can say Ah, fuck you. You want an expression model? You want something that you can say something that you can see so that you can express who you are and your own opinion without hurting them. So this is really key here. So in this example, I would say the fact the fact that you say that I should really work in an international company, then there are for what you feel. I hate really uncomfortable because and then the desire. Because my because what I want is to work as an entrepreneur and start my own company. I understand that your intentions are good, but now it's my life. And that's what I want to do with my life. You see how it's more affected. I'm saying you don't have the right to tell me what to do. You have the fact what you feel and then the desire, the fact it's the one. For example, I arrived late and you want to tell this person that you don't accept it because you lost 30 minutes off your time and the person didn't warn you instead of saying OK, you're late. Okay. Ah, okay. You don't respect my time. You can see fact the fact that you arrived late what you feel then It's the fact that you arrived late made me feel a little bits angry. And then the desire And I would like that next time that you arrive late, you dress sent me a text before. So then I know and I can have a coffee instead. Off waiting for you half on hour in the cold. You see how it works. And I really encourage you to use this model every day with everyone when you have a situation that is a little bit confrontational. So I encourage you to post in the discussion board 123 situations where you can apply these f rt model f for the fact. So you just repeat the fact off what happened. The R is for what you felt and what you're feeling. And then the D is the desire. So now you can practice. So then, when you are in a social situation or any other situation, you can use it and you can start expressing yourself more 17. Regret#4 Revealed!: regret Number four. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends, she says. Often they would not truly realize the full benefits off all friends until their dying weeks, and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships sleep by. Over the years, there were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that their deserved. Everyone misses the friends when they are died. So here in this course in this section, I want to share with you social skills and communication tools so that you can really maintain and get amazing friendships or any other social skills that you want to have in your life so that you can become socially successful. 18. Communication mastery: focus on people, needs, make them talk: Now let's discuss communication Master. I would like to share with you through week tools that you can use so that you will be a better communicator. First, ask questions and make them talk. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. So if you approach someone or interview, interact with someone and you only talk about yourself, the other person will feel a little bit uncomfortable. But instead, if you make the other person talk, the other person we love talking about himself. And if you ask questions that will trigger a positive emotion in the other person, the other person will really like you. So instead of asking what is your worst nightmare and triggering negative emotions, you can ask, Hey, what do you do for fun? What do you like to do when you have free time? And then the person will talk about his passions and interest and the other person will have these positive feelings in his body and will associate it towards you. So the key here is to ask questions to make the other person talk. Remember that everyone loves to talk about themselves, but also to ask questions that will have a positive emotion in the other person's body. How can you do that? You ask questions about passions, interest what the other person likes doing for fun, where the person next to travel. So all these questions will elicit a positive emotion, and then they will associate it to you. And then they would think that they had a really great time because of you, and that's the case. But that's because they were answering their own questions, and they had this positive emotions in the body. The second key here is toe. Always think in terms of benefits that the other person will gain. Let's say that you want to invite someone you want to keep in touch with someone, so you want to ask for the phone number or any other thing instead of dressing. Hey, can I get your number? Oh, hey, let's go out to dinner. You can add benefit that the other person will gain from doing that, so then you can ask Hey, can I get your phone number so we can keep in touch and I can show you the best cocktail bar in town and you knew that this person loves cocktails Now what you can also do. You can say, Hey, can I get your phone number so that we can get in touch so that I can show you the best place to its tackles here? And you knew before that the person loves tackles, for example, the feeling to invite someone out instead of saying, Hey, do you want to have dinner out tonight? Hey, you want to go out for dinner tonight? You can say, Hey, do you want to go out for dinner tonight? So you don't have to cook. If, for example, you ask that to your partner, you can see here. It's always about adding the benefits in the social interaction in the social interaction question. And then you will see that your results, your social skills results will really improve. If you talk in terms off what's in its for them for the other person rather than yourself. The third key here is to be generally interested, so it means that if you're talking with someone instead off just being there because you think, Oh, I have to talk to this person I don't really want. I want to go home. I want to do something else But yeah, if I don't know, you must be interested in the person. When you ask questions that you are interested in those questions because you want to learn more about the other person, you must be curious about the other person and wanting to learn more so that you can connect with the other person. And these will make a huge difference because if you talk with them on and you don't really want to talk to someone or if you ask questions that you are not really interested in, the person will feel. But if you ask questions because you want to ask this question, you want to know the answers. You want to really meet and know who the other person is. You will have a better connection and your social skills results. We go from here to here. 19. your energy & body language secrets: Now let's discuss your energy and your body language. So your energy is something that is really important. And I'm sure that it happened to you already is that you met someone. And then you said there is something off about this person. And if you say something like that, most of the time is because their energy that this person has has something are off, whatever you want to call it. So it's important to be aware off your energy. I'm not telling you. Yeah, everyday, be happy. The rain bows and Sunshine's No, I'm just telling you that you should be aware that whatever you feel the other person will feel. So if you are negative, always angry, the other person will feel it, and you feel to increase your social skaters, be more open minded and get more friends and be more socially successful. You must be in a positive state off mind most of the time because no one wants to hang around people that are negative and always angry. If you are someone that is negative and angry, you will attract people like that. But that's not to the point here. I want Reid to show you how you can have a lot of social success. So how can you feel this good emotions? And I would like toa give you an exercise that you can do now with me. Try for 10 seconds to feel really sad and depressed. Okay, I would do that with you for 10 seconds. Feel suddenly. Press, try to feel sudden depressed. Okay, let's do it. Okay. Now shake a little bit to shake your body and try to feel really happy now Happy? You are really happy to be here. You're positive, Happy, outgoing. Try to feel this emotion here and what you can see heater in what you can learn heater is that you can change your inner state in an instant. So when you are about to approach someone or when you're about to enter a social place, you can immediately think about positive things and be in this positive state by feeling dispositive state how? It's exactly like you did hear. You did hear exactly by putting yourself in a state and now we must recognize how you did to put yourself in this positive state. So the exercise here is to put yourself again in the positive state and see what made you go from. I'm in a normal state toe a positive state. Did you think about something happy from the past? Did you think about something positive what happened with your body and try to memorize that So that next time they're trying the social situation you should focus on the things that trigger this positive state off mine and this positive emotions so that when you would approach someone, the person will be really happy to meet you because you will be positive and you will share dis positive energy. Now let's discuss the body language First, you must be aware here that you have the solar plexus. So if the solar plexus is down, your level off energy will be down. You will be depressed. You will be unhappy. If your solar plexus is up and open, you will have more energy would be more confident he will be more outgoing. So the first point I would like to share here is that your solar plexus should be up and should be open. So next time that you are in a social situation approaching people focus off focus on not being here but being more like open and opening your solar plexus. This is the first point I would like to make now be away a few body language because most people don't know that. And I already told that in all my courses, But I really want to. Harmer the concept 93% off the communication between two people is nonverbal Onley. 7% are words. So your body language is really important because it will communicate signs off confidence off being friendly off. Being someone that you want to be around next time that's you approach someone or if you are observing people and you ask yourself this question, would I like to be around those people? And you will see that most of the time when you say, Oh, I would like to hang out with this person. It's because this person has an open body language, so it means that the shoulder are back is not crust um, and looking down. But the person is more relaxed with the shoulders back, has a smile on his face, is happy, has a good energy, so focus on that focus on the body language that you have So if, for example, you see that your shoulders are always down, make a mental note that next time you're shorter's have to be back. For example, if you always look down, make a mental knew that next time you will be looking at the back. If you are really shy and you have hand gestures because you are really stressed, make a mental note that next time maybe you can put your hand in your pocket. Or maybe you can try to control your body language that it'll be more a good body. Language is shoulders back, so you open the solar plexus. Your head is straight. Imagine that there is, ah, string pulling you to the sky and you look at the back and you are relaxed. There's a really great body language you don't need more than that. But just be aware that if you have a bad body language, you will have a bad attitude. And if you have a bad attitude, you won't be socially successful. So this is a really great way, even if you don't feel like it, or if you are a little bit sad, you can send your body language and it will change how you feel And what if you change how it see how you feel it will change your social results. So this is a really great point. Be aware off your body language. 20. 5 social dynamics secrets that will change your life forever: now I would like to share with you five social skills secrets that will really improve your life. First, be the action taker. Be generous and be socially abundant. Don't be afraid to give to people. Don't be afraid. Toe Offer value to people. Don't be afraid to invite people. Toe your parties to your events. Don't be afraid to approach people. Don't be afraid to buy the first round. Don't be afraid toe right on Facebook. Don't be afraid to invite people. Don't be afraid to ask for the for number. Don't be afraid. That's the first secret that if you are generous with people, if you offer if you buy a coffee to someone, if you approach someone, if you make a compliments. If you though if you do something that gives value to the other person, you will have a lot of success because what's most people do is that the dress wait. They wait for someone to approach them. They wait for someone to tell them what to do, but instead, if you are someone that takes action socially and that adds value to the other people lives , you will have a lot off social success number two don't be perfect. Most people think that there is the perfect approach. There are the perfect words to say the other perfect things to say. There is the perfect moment to approach, but it doesn't exist. You must be aware that humans are in perfect, and that's what makes them humans. So there is no perfect thing to say. There is no perfect thing to do. The thing is that you want to approach by being you sever being who you are and trying to make the best of the situation. Because even if you become to smooth, if you become to perfect, the other person will freak out. Because when you approach someone, the other person will also have a high level of anxiety. And as the other person is not perfect, it should become too perfect socially. The other person with freak out and because the other person would say, Oh my God, Oh my God, I don't know how toe actor and I'm not as perfect as the older person and it can really play against you. So what, you want to do that? Just be yourself. Understand that perfection doesn't exist with social interactions and just go say what you want to say. Do what you want to do. Just have fun. Enjoy the interaction. If you have these mindset, you will see that you will have a lot off social success. That's is so important. Don't pressure yourself. So if you see someone and you want to approach this person and then the person looks at you and then looks down and you say, Oh my God, it's because this person thinks that I'm not good enough for I'm a loser. Maybe not. What if the special was looking at you because this person was too shy to approach you and was looking at you so that you can see that especially, is there and that you could approach this person? You can see here that we tend to overthink to pressure ourselves, and instead we could be thinking positively we could be thinking about Hey, what if this person is looking at me because I want What if this person is looking at me because this person wants me to approach him? You can see here that is so so about the mindset. But don't forget, perfection doesn't exist with social skills. That's why we are perfectly in perfect secret. Number three, the approached anxiety will never disappear. Never, Never, Never, never. But it will decrease. The more you experience the fact off approaching someone, the less I fear off approaching someone you will have. But this feel will still be there. How you can deal with it. It's just you just accept the fact that this fear will always be there. Now, when I approach someone, I know that this fear for approaching someone will still be there. So instead of saying, Oh, my God, I would have this fear off approaching. Oh, my God. I don't know. I know it's going to be there. I know it's going to be there. So I approach anyway and I know that this fear will be there. So I can. There is no point of not accepting it and warring out because I know it will be there. So I accept you say Okay, now I have to approach someone. I know I will have this fear for approaching someone. But that's OK. I will. I will do it anyway. And that's what you want to do. You want to accept the fear and get usedto approaching people. And then you will see that this fear off approaching someone will decrease. But we never disappear. Then before focus on how comfortable the other person is. Most people forget about that. They think it's only about themselves when they approach someone they think. OK, how do I look? What can I say next or my God, what should I do? But they forget to see the comfort level of the other person because what makes a great social interaction is how comfortable that the other person is. So if I'm talking about something and the other person is born, or if I'm approaching too hard or if I see the dispersants are comfortable, I can give the person some space or change topic. There are many things that you can do to make the other person more comfortable, but be aware of that one off. Your focus should be how comfortable the other person is in the five. Be yourself 100% because you would see that if you want to be socially successful, you must be yourself 100%. If you're trying to make an impression trying to control what other people think of you trying to control what you can say and what you can say. Trying to have people to like you trying to micromanage the social interactions. You will see that you want to be socially successful instead. If you express who you are, your own jokes, your interest, your passions, what you like, what you don't like if you mess around. If you were mess with people, if you compliment someone, if you addressed who you are, you will see that you will be socially successful. 21. Regret#5 Revealed!: read, Read number five. I wish that I had let myself be happier, Brawny wear says, is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness, the choice they had state stuck in old Parton's and habits, the so called comfort off family charity overflowed into their emotions as well as the physical lives V off change had them pretending toe others and to the cells that they were content when deep within the long to laugh properly and have silliness in the life again. So in this section here, we discussed the keys to happiness. How can be more optimistic and how you can have this good emotions in your body and how you can really enjoy life to the fullest, so let's go. 22. The power of optimism: The power of optimism. You can interpret the world how you want it, your choice. Let's say that tomorrow you get fired from your job. I really don't want that to happen, but let's pretend. How are you going to react? Are you going to react positively or negatively? I going to see that as an opportunity or as a problem. Are you going to say that the finally discovered that you were a complete failure? We're going to say, okay, this is an opportunity for me to leave to my full potential. How are you going to interpret it? There is nothing good or bad, but only thinking make it so like Shakespeare said. So you can interpret the word positively or negatively. So why not using the optimistic way? Because if you use the optimistic way, do we tend to get more opportunities? And you will tend to be more successful. Be optimistic, it's your choice. You can choose the glasses you were to see the word you can wear the glasses of everything, the problem, everything is bad. Or you can rent the glasses of some oddities, optimistic someone that sees the opportunities and the positive things around. I'm not telling you the only positive NB and discard the negative things. I'm not telling you that, but I'm telling that when you have a situation, tried to seize the positive and the opportunities in that. Let's say that you are in the traffic jam. Most people, they will start being angry and really negative towards it. But you can say, Okay, I am in the traffic jam. There is nothing that can really do about it. So instead of being angry, why don't I choose how I want to see the word? And then you say, Okay, I think I would have half an hour here in this traffic jam. Why don't I spend it meditating or listening to good music or relaxing or doing anything else. You see it's your own interpretation. And if you interpret the word within optimistic glass, you will see that you will tend to be happier. So what are your glasses to see the world? 23. 5 secrets to be happy everyday: Now let's discuss five secrets to be happy everyday. Number 1, help people. If you are doing something, if you have a job that is helping people, that is contributing to people's lives, or that is improving people's lives. You will feel happier because you will have a positive impact on the society. But it can also be, for example, when you interact with someone, if you help someone, if you make them smile or if you give value to someone, you will feel happier when you give value and you help people do feel good. And this is something that you should focus on, is about helping people. Number two, evolve. If you evolve, you help people to evolve. Us feel good when there is progress. So if for example, there is an opportunity for you in your job that you can progress. Or if you do something. And you see that there is a progression, you will feel happy because us as human beings, we like to evolve. So if we evolve, we have dispositive feeling inside us. You can also have someone to evolve if you coach someone or if you give advice to someone and his advisers are our good value, you will have this positive feeling inside you. So this is something that you should really focus on is evolve. Number three, your language. Your language will have an impact on your happiness. So I encourage you to remove the words like failure. I can't do it. I don't deserve. The problem is. But instead, instead of saying failure, you can see it's an experiments. Instead of saying, I can't do it, you can say I'm in the process of doing it. Instead of saying I don't deserve, you can say I deserve, instead of saying the problem is, you can say the solution is if you change you language, the negative language, and you transform it to a positive language, you will see that your inner state of happiness will improve. So choose your language. What is the language that you are using? You can ask a friend to listen to what you say. And then when there is a negative word like failure, I can't do it. I don't deserve or the problem is or any other negative word or the yes, but then ask your friend to tell you so that you can be aware and then you can switch and change it. Number 4 celebrates this life. Be grateful. It's important to celebrate this life. Most people think, okay, I can only be happy when I got this one. I will get this promotion, when I will get that. But you can be happy. You can start celebrating his life. Can say okay, tonight I'm going to meet my partner and we are going to celebrate. We're going, we're going out to egg. We're going to party somewhere. We are going to have this dinner. We are going to celebrate. Why not? You can celebrate this life, celebrate the small wins, or any moments in your life. Be grateful for the things that you have. And you will see that if you celebrate and you are grateful, you're in a state of happiness with really, really increase. Number 5. Look around, look at the beautiful things around you when you're walking down the streets. And then you see beautiful people around you. Or if you see a tree or efficient nature or efficient animal, or if you see something else, you can stop and watch and enjoy the things around you. If you see an amazing sunset or sunrise, you can stop, look around and see, oh my God, this is amazing and really enjoy the moment that you have. So practice. So looking around you and enjoying the things that you have around you.