You Are the Captain of Your Own Soul | Kristen Becker | Skillshare

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You Are the Captain of Your Own Soul

teacher avatar Kristen Becker, NLP Practitioner

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

8 Lessons (34m)
    • 1. Introduction to Alignment & Your Inner Guidance System

    • 2. Know Your Because: How to Pivot Away from Fear Based Motivation

    • 3. Empower Yourself with the 5 Second Rule

    • 4. Step by Step: Putting it into Practice

    • 5. Your Practical Guide to Alignment

    • 6. Put it into Practice

    • 7. Bonus: Guided Inner Harmony Visualization

    • 8. Bonus: Energy & Manifesting

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About This Class

You are the captain of your own soul! Stop reacting to life and learn to confidently follow your own intuition & inner guidance system using easy to understand & implement NLP techniques.

Are you creating a life that truly inspires you or merely getting through the life that seems to be happening to you? The truth is, most people go through life, reacting to what happens to and around them, wondering why  they feel helpless and are not living a life that speaks to their soul. You are the captain of your own soul! Its just that we are not taught how to align with our true selves and bring that life out into the open.  We make decisions based on fear and conditioning rather than basing them on what is aligned with how we want to feel. The good news is that it’s really quite easy to become aligned with your true self.

  • Learn to make the choices that are aligned with what you truly desire.
  • Learn to foster the types of relationships that nurture and inspire your soul.
  • Learn to naturally gravitate toward the people, opportunities and experiences that are aligned with how you truly want to feel!

In this course you will learn incredibly simple NLP techniques to quickly align you with your true self. You will learn how to stop reacting to life and to follow your own, finely tuned and highly accurate inner guidance system. You will become empowered to confidently and naturally guide every aspect of your life in the direction that inspires and uplifts you.  

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Kristen Becker

NLP Practitioner


Success Mindset, Manifesting, Law of Attraction, NLP 



HI, I'm Kristen!

Once a mind has been stretched, it never goes back. Pebbles on the pile, one course at a time, discover how much power you truly have within you!

I am a Certified Neural Linguistic Programming practitioner, author of FreeLark, and Founder at Brillane. I have over 20 twenty years of experience as a college educator and am a lifelong entrepreneur. More importantly, I have personally explored and found great success in all of the topics that I develop courses in. My goal is to empower you to start living your very best life by understanding and leveraging the power and ability that is already within you!

Let's stay connected on Instagram too!

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1. Introduction to Alignment & Your Inner Guidance System : Now, when I use the word alignment, I am talking about your inner self, your higher self, your inner being. However, you wanna think about that or whatever you wanna call that and the part of you that is navigating day to day life experiences, feelings, emotions and choices. So when those things are not aligned, in other words, when you're making choices and having emotions and experiences and feelings that are not aligned with how you really want to feel your inner being wants to feel your higher self wants to feel and nose as possible, then you feel uncomfortable. That discomfort is your indication that you're not currently aligned or you're doing something that's not aligned with what your whole self really wants, which includes your inner self and the part of you that is fully capable and prepared to better hide you through life through your experiences. And when you do become aligned and by the way, this is always a kind of ongoing experience and process. But you feel so much more confidence, how much more in control, so much more peace. You spend so much more time with positive, empowering and uplifting feelings. Which of course, if you think back to that energy video is how you're vibrating and then what you're attracting in life. So that's a little bit more about what alignment actually is. You're gonna learn about the five second rule, and it's not, uh, doesn't have just food. And you're gonna learn about shifting from a fear motivation into motivations that are aligned with your inner self, and you're gonna learn about others and their sense of alignment and how that impacts you. So I am very excited. Let's get started on alignment. 2. Know Your Because: How to Pivot Away from Fear Based Motivation : Why do we do most of the things that we do in life? Uh, mostly we don't think about it. We react very subconsciously because 95% of everything that we do in life is generated from within our subconscious. So if you're not thinking about it, then when you pull it into your awareness and stuff to think about it, you start to ask yourself, Why do I make the choices that I make? What is motivating me to say yes to this noted that to act on this, not act on that in almost always the answer to that question is fear. Now, fear is the basis of almost all marketing. You don't want to be that stinky guy that nobody loves your going to buy that deodorant, right in fear is always used to motivate people. People in relationships, they themselves are fearful, and so they use fear to motivate the other person that you might miss out. Or you might lose something. I might take my love away from you in the workplace, you know, fear of not maintaining your job, not getting promoted, not being seen in the light that you want to be seen in is often the motivating factor for a lot of things you dio, and this might sound harsh at first. But I think when you really start pulling things out into the light and looking at them and examining, really, what is the feeling within you that has motivated most of the choices that you've made? Even small choices, little everyday choices, too big, really important life choices. And when you look at those and you ask yourself, Did I do this because I ought to do it or because I want to do it? And a lot of times it is because we feel we ought to do it. You re feel there's some type of fear that you know we're gonna lose something or miss out on something. And what I would like to propose to you is to switch that point of motivation, to pivot from fear, to desire to love. And it doesn't even mean making a different choice. What it means is where within yourself you have found the desire and the motivation and the commitment to make that choice. So if I make a choice because it's aligned with what I want, what I desire how I want to feel that changes the whole entire experience for me, right from the get go right from the pivot point. And it changes the energetic vibration of what's going on within me and all of the things that happen as I proceed through the end results of making that choice and navigating that experience. So Step number one is to stop and look at what you're doing and ask yourself, What is your internally motivating point to hear your point of Genesis? Is it fear based? Are you doing something because you ought to do it or because you need to do it? Or are you doing it because you want to do it? And this practice of looking at things this way will really force you to look intuitively within yourself and say, Well, do I want to do this? And if so, why? What good can come and what benefits are there for me? And how would I like to feel? You know, we love to really excel and do something at work because we're, like, so motivated to be challenged and enjoy that experience and grow and enjoy all the self growth and development that comes along with it. Rather than feeling like if we don't do it, we're going to potentially lose their job or not be respected among our peers or not be recognized for what we're capable of. So that, again is an example of doing the same thing, taking the same course of action but doing it from a point that is aligned with your own inner being. And what makes you feel good? What raises your vibration? What raises your emotions so fear and the pivot point on shifting that is very critical. And here's a magic word. The magic word is because now you can read up marketing and psychology research on the word because a really interesting study where person asked, can I get in front of you in line to make copies? And if you don't, if they didn't use it, because then people were more likely to say no. But if they gave a because then people were much more likely to let them in line, even though it really didn't have any, like remarkable validity to it, can I get line in front of you because I have three copies? Uh, okay, can I get in line in front of you? Because I'm in a hurry, OK? And so because the reason I think it's so magical is cause number one, it forces you to articulate within yourself your why. So if you're trying to make a choice and you're looking at it from a perspective that is based on your desire and how you want to feel rather than fear and then say why is this good for me? Because why will this lift me up? Because what value is in this for me? Because And so if you only use the word because to better articulate that within yourself, you have already done all of the beneficial work for you. That the word because could do. But it also gives you some talking points and positive communication points for other people. So if you need to say drawl a boundary or deliver a response that you know someone else is gonna be disappointed in, you can explain because, you know, I really thought about this and this because comes from your alignment with your inner being. This because comes from you knowing how you want to feel you respecting that within yourself and cherishing and valuing that for yourself. So shift your pivot point and get in the habit of using the word because 3. Empower Yourself with the 5 Second Rule : Now let's talk about the five second rule. You are getting in the habit of practicing, recognizing and shifting your pivot point so that you make choices that are aligned with the wholeness of your inner being and the day to day self that's navigating the world. You have gotten in the habit of using because to better articulate both within yourself and when you communicate with other people, your why and now I would like to explain to you that you have five seconds to make a choice . And this is a research thing, anytime, choices to be made no matter what it is. You technically have five full seconds to contemplate that choice and potentially change that choice. Now, when you're not aware of this, do you think Oh, well, I don't know. I just go about my day and I'm doing out these things. But simply becoming aware that my technically have five seconds to check in with myself to think about my pivot point to think about my because and potentially change my choice. So this is really helpful if you're trying to start a new habit or break a bad habit. But even just in general day to day communication, and not only in communicating answers or responses, but you also have five seconds And how you interpret something how you allow that to make you feel So. For example, if you have a tense conversation with someone and you just, you know, you might naturally subconsciously just start getting angry or experience certain feelings . But think about it. You have five seconds. Do I want to let this make me angry? Um, I might just have five seconds to choose. Am I just gonna fire back a response to this person and keep this debate ongoing? Have five seconds to think about that. Um, am I going to walk away angry and cut this person off? That's a choice. I have five seconds to make it. Am I gonna just take a deep breath and relax and gather my thoughts? I have five seconds to make that choice. So when you think about what kind of magical change can work in these five seconds and how that puts the I don't want to use the word responsibility, but I would say privilege within you to make your choice. And you're empowered now, so rather than just reacting and being responsive all the time. You think about the beautiful five second rule and how you always have five seconds to look within yourself and look to your and your being. Look to your intuition and think about how you want to feel, what kind of emotions you wanna have, what kind of experiences you wanna have. And that five second little room really gives you a lot of opportunities to vastly change your path in the direction that you take in any experience in your life. 4. Step by Step: Putting it into Practice : now you might be thinking to yourself, This is all well and good if I lived in a bubble, But they're actually other people on this planet. Other people in my life, they have certain emotions and they can be persistent and they have their own motivations. And they want to tell me what to do, how to feel everything that's wrong with me, or I'm looking to them for, you know, some acknowledgement of what I'm doing right. And now I would like to talk about incorporating the input and feedback and consideration of those around us. And, yes, this is a reality. And it's not just a negative reality. It's also a beautiful opportunity. We love people. We love relationships. So how can we do that? In a way, that is. Honors are inter being and our inner alignment in our internal self as the pivot point from which we navigate life and still be use useful information and still be considerate of the feelings for others. The first thing I would like to propose is that when people give you feedback, the first thing you want to think about is where is this coming from? Now a lot of times people have their own fears and conditioning and things that you know they don't know about. There's something wrong with them. They're just doing what they've learned through the experience of learning through others in life, but so that my first question is usually, where is this feedback coming from? So if I'm getting feedback, whether it be quote positive or negative, I like to look at the person and say, You know, is there some element of this that actually doesn't really have anything to do with me? In a lot of times, that's the case, especially with negative feedback to their own fears or something that they prioritize in life. That's very important to them, and they kind of want to project that onto you. So this is a perspective technique. NEEK and NLP perspective. Technique. Get in the habit first before you get emotional, before you generate emotional response within you and start with verbal responses or whatever, or certainly before you start incorporating how you think this makes you feel about yourself. Always first think about where they're coming from, what their motivation is, what their perspective is, how they see the world and that doesn't mean they're wrong, you know. But when you could get into this habit of looking at things from the other person's perspective, you could be much more objective and not get is emotionally invested in the feedback that they're giving you. Another important consideration to make when considering the feedback of others is your inner self, your inner being the alignment of your day to day self with your inner self and how you want to feel. So how we want to feel isn't just always. I want to feel happy Good, you know, perfect. Sometimes we want to grow and we want to be challenged. And we recognize within ourselves. Yeah, you know what? This isn't someplace where I feel I've really evolved to the point that I can yet, So I want to look at this feedback that I'm getting from other people from that perspective and even be grateful for it and honest and knowing that our point of you know, origin and pivot on potentially changing here is not one of fear. It's not one of feeling small and little because someone's criticizing assets, being actually grateful for the insight and even if they're not presenting that insight in the most constructive way. You still get to decide how you interpret that insight and what potential positive value for continued growth and evolution that has for you. Your own emotions are your greatest guide for your inner navigational system when we have negative emotions that simply our way of realizing that whatever is going on about the situation is not aligned with our true higher self, our interview being, how we want to feel and what we know is possible for us in life. So when we do have negative emotions, we can look at where they're coming from. Am I really just choosing to accept all this negativity that this person's projecting? And that doesn't mean they're a bad person, or you have to have continued negative feelings about them, but just recognizing that, like, Okay, I see. I see where they're coming from. I c by and I have the choice five second rule, not Teoh really accept all of this negativity that they're projecting on me. If we have a negative emotion, perhaps we've made a choice ourselves in light in our life that's not aligned with our higher self and how we want to feel and that's okay. Don't beat yourself up. You wanna look at that and say, Oh, the emotional warning signal went off. This doesn't feel good. I don't think I really made a choice here that was aligned with what I really want, How I want to feel what I know is possible. So you could be grateful for that emotion and that that sign that flag going up to let you know and then shift your course accordingly Recalibrate, You know, it's OK to have those experiences, especially when you can stop and really clearly say, Oh, thank you self for this little warning sign. I'm taking note here, and I'm recalibrating my course recharging my course and then on the flip side, the positive missions. This is how I want to feel this feels good. This is a sign to me that this type of conversation speaks to my line self, this type of experience, this type of relationship, even this type of growth and challenge, you know, it doesn't mean everything's always easy. We grow through the challenges. But if we look at it and say, yeah, that was a very worse wild and, um, you know, challenging. But it helped me grow. And I feel good. My emotions are telling me I'm on the right path here, So get in the habit of stopping and looking at your emotions and thanking them as just warning signs to help you stay on your lined path. Either you're going in the right direction or you're not, and you're the captain of your own soul. You've got five seconds to make every choice, so you can always be recalibrating and fine tuning as you get more and more lined. 5. Your Practical Guide to Alignment : Now let's start talking about how we show up in the world as a more aligned person is gonna be a very different person because the parts of us that are not aligned are reactive and responsive and just trying Teoh keep from being tossed around and the waves of life, or maybe doesn't keep from drowning in it. Where is when we're lying, then were truly the captain of our own soul steering our ship. And even though those waves might be there were still navigating them with a sense of confidence and alignment. And how exactly does this change the way we show up in life? One thing I'd like to propose is, and I want to say this is, uh, to me embodied in the classic Be the change you wish to see in the world. So remember, Justus, you're the captain of your own soul and you get to make choices that are lined with how you want to feel and how you don't want to feel likewise. So does everybody else. And so we have to extend to others that which we would like to have extended to us. And this is an important practice to get into. We may not agree with the choices other people are making, but we can encourage them to follow their intuition, to look inside themselves, to think about how they want to feel. And we can also respect when they have a feeling or make a decision that isn't the same as what we would have made. And therefore we would expect that same thing in return from them. And I think of this as a reflection. You wanna be a reflection of that, What you want to be be the change you want to see in the world, treat other people the way you wanna be treated, extend to them the same privilege of being the captain of their own soul and making their own choices. And I love how dynamic this is because another level on which this works is that that which we extend others were really saying we expect, and except for ourselves. So, for example, if you were to, um tell somebody else Oh, no. You know, you absolutely have to go my way. And you clearly aren't getting the picture here. And you're not giving them the wiggle room to think for themselves and act for themselves, even if you feel it's not the choice. And so you're kind of saying to yourself, I deserve that either. I'm not smart enough. I'm not capable. I've I have no inter guidance system. I need to be told what to do. So you you get a reflection back, Teoh, um, in your own image of yourself and how you think of yourself and what you think you're capable of as how you treat other people. So just keep this in mind when you go about your life and your day and treating people as if they are the captain of their own soul and somewhere within them, they have their own inner ability to guide themselves and to know how they want to feel and how they don't want to feel. You know for sure a lot of people, for whatever reason, aren't taking the time or haven't had the influences and the experiences that might open them up to make the most of something like this. But you have to let them have their experiences. That's where they're gonna learn as well. So just think about the idea of the way you look at and treat others. And, um, how that is a reflection of everything that you accept and expect for yourself. 6. Put it into Practice : Now it's time to get some practical experience with living a life that is aligned with your inner guidance self, your inner being your higher being, however you'd like to think of it. And how can this show up for you as you get your own experiences and have your own experiences that develops within you a complete, connected understanding of this and sort of an internal acceptance of? Well, yeah, I dio I am very line. I'm very much the captain of my own soul. I'm very much following and fully have faith in my own inner guidance system. But you have to have those experiences to develop that sense, that understanding that, knowing this. So here's my suggestion. I would take 123 days and really make a conscious effort to be fully aware of every choice that you make in that day, even the choice of how to feel how to respond to somebody and bigger choices in Ask yourself. First of all, what's my pivot point? Um, how can I re bring this around to a place of love and desire rather than fear? Or do I not? You know, does that change the way I respond. Perhaps it completely changes your response. That's fine, too. And then you've got the magic word because and because here's why and you articulate it to yourself. And then you can actually really even do this all within those five seconds really quickly . And then you move on just really knowing I made the absolute best and right choice based on my own inner guidance system. And maybe you find out a little bit later. New information, new data, new input. Check in with your emotions. How my feeling is this feel good? Does this feel right? Um, or just have a negative feeling. And is there fear involved in this and recalibrate. So it's this constant, uh, being aware, considering your inner guidance, your intuitive desires, your feelings, your emotions and recalibrating So you're just constantly, you know, working on something recalibrating, reflecting, moving forward. But you're doing this all not from a reactive, fearful place of Oh my God, I just want to get through this, but from a place of cherishing and respecting yourself and knowing that you fully deserve to be happy, to be loved, to have a beautiful, wonderful experience, and you're also fully capable of that. So this isn't something special reserved for the few special people who have special skills . It's for everyone. And when you do this for a couple of days, very consciously been, all of this becomes very intuitive and subconscious, and it will really shift how you experience life and how you show up in life. And then, rather than having to stop and think about it, or use the because to communicate it to other people, it will just become a more natural and fluid way that you go about navigating your life. They're beautiful, you're worthy, you're deserving. And you're entirely capable of living exactly the type of life that you know within you as possible that you desire that your sense is possible. And you will get in the habit off using your own inner guidance system, celebrating yourself, cherishing yourself and making the most of this blessed experience that we all get to enjoy called life 7. Bonus: Guided Inner Harmony Visualization: lie down comfortably and begin by fully relaxing your entire body. Take a moment to take a few deep cleansing breaths. Notice any places where you're holding tension and just let it go. Relax your entire body, every muscle, and breathe deeply as you prepare to rest. Remember that it is the image that you hold of yourself just before drifting off to sleep that your subconscious mind uses to shape your own self image. Even stronger than the words that you are saying are the feelings that you feel. Allow yourself to revel in your own delight and self awareness. I and a beautiful and perfect be I am always doing my best in moving forward. I want you to take a moment to think about an experience that you had today something that felt natural and joyful to you. Recall the ease with which you flowed through that wonderful experience. We live all the feelings and emotions that you felt breathe deeply as you relive these feelings. This is who I am. I am strong loving in kind. Now take a moment to visualize an experience that you had today, in which you felt strong, loving and kind How did you feel during this experience? Revisit and name those feelings. - I am confident and intuitive. I trust myself completely and follow my own inner guidance system. Now think about a positive choice or decision that you made today without even thinking. Every moment is a choice. And no matter how small those choices reverberate in the lives of ourselves and those around us. I want you to take a moment to think about the small ways in which that choice that you made today had a positive impact. Now let's take a few more deep breaths. And as you dio repeat in your mind, I am a beautiful and perfect being. I am always doing my best and moving forward. I love and trust myself completely. I am a beautiful and perfect being. I am always doing my best and moving forward, allow and trust myself completely. 8. Bonus: Energy & Manifesting: When you gain an understanding of the energetic nature of reality, you gain the ability to change your reality. Mastering the co creative process of conscious manifesting is sort of like peeling back the layers of an onion. It's a dynamic interaction of many elements, but at the core of understanding how the Law of Attraction works in learning to maximize your own co creative abilities to manifest the health, wealth, love and prosperity that you're looking for in your life comes from the understanding of energy. Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one. Albert Einstein. Most things about how we live and experience our lives could lead us to believe that matter is, solid reality is fixed and that life happens to us and is outside of our control. But actually nothing could be further from the truth. Early in the 20th century, it was assumed and widely accepted that the physical universe was actually, well physical. But soon scientists began smashing electrons and other particles and enormous accelerators , and what we discovered is that the foundations of the physical world aren't physical at all , but in fact that absolutely everything is energy. Quantum physicists discovered the physical atoms were made up of or to seize of energy that are constantly spinning and vibrating, each one radiating its own unique energy signature. Now let's see your energy. The floor beneath you is energy. The ground is energy and absolutely everything is composed entirely of this vibrating energy. And everything also has its own unique vibrational fingerprint, which is created from an infinite number of combinations of vibrations. So every single person is vibrational e unique. You are vibrational unique. Now human beings are electromagnetic energy, E l m and R E L M energy vibrates or pulses with every pulse. Your Eelam energy is both broadcasting and attracting. You're energy field. Transmit your vibrations and magnetize is other similar vibrations into your energy field. So you're constantly broadcasting your own energy and attracting other energy back to you. Even your emotions or energy and emotions have their own unique vibrations, just like everything else. These emotional vibrations also go from higher and faster to lower and slower. So, for example, when you feel love, you vibrate at a higher frequency. When you feel negative feelings, you've irate at a lower frequency. So if you're struggling in some aspect of your life and looking to attract something specific into your life. Something different. Look, first at your emotions, that air surrounding what it is that you're struggling with and ask yourself, where do they fall on this scale of emotions? When you absorb the same range of frequencies into your energetic body over a long period of time, it contributes to your resonance. So a constant intake of a certain frequency literally magnetize your body to that frequency , and you may have heard the old adage. You are a reflection of the five people that you spend the most time with. Well, you're also an energetic and vibrational reflection of your perspective, of the experiences that you've had, the emotions that you've chosen to associate with them in the mindset that you currently hold. So when you think about the fact that the frequency of the energy that surrounds you fuels your vibrational state, just like the type of food that you eat, fuels the state of health of your body. Now you've already learned that your vibrational state is being broadcast and that you attract back to yourself similarly vibrating frequencies in the form of people experiences and life situations that constitute your reality. When you truly grasp and accept that you, your emotions and everything in this seemingly material world is actually just energy and that energy vibrates at a frequency that attracts similarly vibrating energy, then you can take the next steps in understanding what contributes to your own energy frequencies and what you can do to change them. When you change your own vibrational frequency, you change what you're attracting. Raise your vibration, raise your station in life. It's just that simple.