The Exhausted Mom's Guide to Self Care ( a mini class on finding what nourishes you) | Pauline McKinney | Skillshare

The Exhausted Mom's Guide to Self Care ( a mini class on finding what nourishes you)

Pauline McKinney, data loving artist

The Exhausted Mom's Guide to Self Care ( a mini class on finding what nourishes you)

Pauline McKinney, data loving artist

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6 Lessons (32m)
    • 1. Intro

      1:38
    • 2. It's a Journey

      2:42
    • 3. Removing what no longer serves you

      5:14
    • 4. Find what energizes you

      7:42
    • 5. Find what calms you

      11:23
    • 6. Bonus: challenging yourself

      3:38
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About This Class

Welcome to my mini class on self care, I'm happier than jelly in doughnuts that you're here!

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If you're feeling depleted, overwhelmed, exhausted, lost, or in need of some TLC, hit play and start finding your own self-care rituals and tools to help you find bliss in your life!

I’ve spent years finding ways to add self-care into my life, and I want to share my ideas, rituals, and techniques with you. I hope to inspire and help you add some much needed calm, love, and peace to your everyday life. The most meaningful self care doesn’t have to be time consuming, or extravagant. It can be small, incredibly nourishing.

Included in this class is a printable guide I've made for you to capture your ideas, inspiration, experiments, and tests! I've also included resources to help you get started. Click to download

Meet Your Teacher

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Pauline McKinney

data loving artist

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Transcripts

1. Intro: Hi. I'm calling McKinney and I am an exhausted. The chances are good that if you're hitting play on this intro, you're an exhausted mom, exhausted parent, exhausted person yourself. I used to think that self care meant relaxing bodies. I had a luxurious time. Spend all days are taking myself on a day where I go shopping and buy myself all these things. But then I became a parent and I ran out of time and I ran out of money and I had to start finding ways to take care of myself. That didn't take up a ton of time. And that fit into my life as working period busy. So if you're looking for I think a journey of self discovery and self care in a way that can help fit into your everyday life in this class is for you. I'm gonna take you through what I did. What are the components of self care that I've designed for myself and I'm gonna help you design those for yours? The journey of self care is really a journey of rediscovering yourself back You so excited to help If you want to come on this journey with me keep hitting play on all the lessons and I can't wait, Wait. Thanks 2. It's a Journey: way. Welcome to the exhausted mom's guide or self care class. I am so thrilled you're here. And if you're here, the chances are that you are really in need of care. So I'm going to start by saying that step zero to this journey is no, no gills. And you're claiming your right as an exhausted person in the world to replenish yourself in this class, the goal of the entire classes. You find those things that will replenish, energize you and nourish you. So before you can actually get started in this class, I'd like you, Teoh not let any kind of guilt or feelings they don't deserve this. Just completely exit your mind and change that mindset because you 100% you next. I'd like to say that they're kind of £2 that I thought about when designing one was like, Oh, man, I could give everybody. It was a bunch of my views. Go test them and try them. You know, maybe they'll working today or two. I can give them inspiration and tell them how I came about in finding these things and really take them on a journey of self discovery. Uh, and I really liked the idea of the journey. I've never been one to follow the crowd, so I really enjoy the ability. It's you go my own way toward my own path like those kinds of things, and you really now you just are so tired and you just need some ideas. I've included some of those two, but I would highly encourage you to think of this as an opportunity to find yourself, because I think that when I started this journey, self care, my whole life had become being a parent, and I was just That's all I knew really lost myself. And when I decided to really focus in on itself there, I think it was really about finding myself and find yourself doesn't mean returning to your old self means finding what works for you right now in this moment. And it may be different, and maybe the same, uh, created this guy that hopefully print off maybe once a year, once every couple of years. Just go through it and notice how you're changing evolving human beings. That's a good thing. So can we redid Quick play on the next? So let's get started 3. Removing what no longer serves you: removing what no longer serves you. So if there's one thing that I can't stand, it's clutter. I am one of those people that go around throwing away everything if I don't need it because I love to create. And I love to be in a space that feels clean and speeches. So one important aspect that I think is underrated. But one of the most important foundations of self care is about de cluttering your life and removing the things in your life that no longer serve you. So that could be so many things. And one story I have around removing the things that no longer serve you is, uh, after I had my second son, I was taking a lot longer than I expected to lose the baby weight, and I still had all of my pre pregnancy clothes in my closet, and I get up in the morning and I would feel just this stress every morning if I would start the day with this stress around what to wear, because half my closet didn't and it was a horrible feeling in a horrible way to start the day. So when I was really examining what's working from you my life. What's not working? I was really thinking about What are those obstacles? What are the things that are bringing the stress and his over way I can fix them. This is such a critical part of the journey that I would highly encourage you to sit down and think about this and really write down everything that comes to your mind that feels stressful, are not working or like a barrier. And is the guy that I set up. I have two whole pages to help. You kind of give you the space to really think about those things. So I would start the day and I feel terrible. I would feel terrible about myself because I didn't fit in the half my closet. And so what I decided to do that day that I realized this waas. I took all of the clothes. It did Vinny right now and I put them away. I just Onley left space for the things that do fit me so that when I get up in the day, anything I choose will fit me and we'll feel good. And I think once I removed that fertile and that barrier to my day in my life. I think it gave me the space to then start thinking about how Teoh get to a weight that I felt happy about or get to a place in my life that I felt happy with my fitness level or my body. But just removing that was such a big improvement in my life. I can't even tell you how much better it felt about myself and about my day. And I think that you taking the time to think about those things that could be clothes. It could be people. It could be the routine that you're doing. It can be so many things that could be your mind sets. You know, Another thing that I have had to work over the years on removing is my negative self. Tom. That was a mindset that I recognized was no longer serving me to criticize myself. Every time something didn't go well, was just adding an extra layer of awfulness to what was going on, and it took me a very long time to remove that from my life. But I have to say it's been such a big investment, so you know I would highly encourage you to get a piece of paper. Or if you want, work through this guide and sit down and just write down. It doesn't even don't even don't even constrain yourself. Just put everything here. They've just feels like a like a barrier struggle just doesn't feel good and start thinking about what would be the most impactful things for you to remove. If that's friendships that are no longer working for you, If that's your mind sad start really thinking about how to de clutter those and get those out of your way so that you can make room for the things that are serving. You and I are gonna help you finish the things that you need in your life. So if you have any questions or need any help around this, feel free to email me or hit me up on the skill share discussion. My email is force at the bottom of this, uh, guide, and I would love to help you get through this. If you need some help working through removing what no longer serves you, I think even just do. Even just identifying what it is can be such a big stop in figuring out where you want to go. So I look forward, Teoh, you doing this and hopefully clearing out all of the things that are no longer serving you . 4. Find what energizes you: finding what energizes you. So one component of self care that's really important is finding and discovering and testing and figuring out what it is that makes you feel energized. This is important because sometimes you're gonna find yourself exhausted or depleted, and you just need something to help energize you, re invigorate you and help you make it through. So this is really all about thinking, noticing and coming up with ideas around what it is that can bring you energy when you need it most could help replenish you in a way that makes you feel alive, joyful and just replenished. So for me, when I was going through trying to figure out what it is, it energizes me. I was really trying to think What are the things that can quickly and what are the things that I can incorporate into my long term beauty? So I started to really sit down and try to notice anything I'm doing in my life. You know, if this is really an exercise and stopping and noticing when it is that you feel energized and you have to think about like, Oh, I like this feeling, what did I just do. What is it that is making me feel this way? So one example I have is one thing I like to do is go out with a couple girlfriends. Uh, you know, a small group of girlfriends and coffee or, uh, have dinner together. And I noticed that we all like to stay out very late having dinner, and I always come back feeling so energized, like I could just keep going for hours. Think about that feeling when you feel like Oh, my gosh, I can't believe it's already midnight. I'm having so much fun. What are the activities that make you feel that way and think about how to incorporate more those of your life? So, one you know, one important thing to think about self care is that it's a lot of different things that can be when you need to calm down or when you need to be energized or when you need Teoh cut things out of your life that are working. So for this set off, you know, finding what energizes you. It's about recreating that feeling when you're just so happy and joyful alive. Now I will say it. Big groups. I don't like, and they really stressed me out. And I've really noticed the feelings of anxiety I get when I have to go into, like, a giant gathering of, like, the B or 100 people in stressful for me. But I know that when I'm in small groups, I have just the most fabulous time. So, you know, I think one of the things I like to do is avoid big gatherings. And I like Teoh trade those off and, you know, for the smaller gatherings and the smaller things that I enjoy, because I know that that's what I need to feel energized. So that's like a pretty short term thing that I can work in. Okay, So if you like getting together with your girlfriends, you know, wanted to time, you know, maybe 1 to 2 times a month, you can start working on upping the frequency here, getting that time in just so you can feel punished in the ways that you need. Another thing that I like to do when I'm feeling exhausted and depleted is laugh. I love laughing so much like if you put a stand up comic in front of me or like a funny YouTube video. I don't know. It just really replenishes me and makes me feel really good. So I've One thing I've done is I have put together like a futurist board. I call it my Happy Place, and it's full of, like, pictures and videos that make me laugh so that in those moments, like just meaning like a quick hit of energy I can do. I can watch these videos and you'll make me laugh. And I just feel like energized, ready to keep going. It's a small thing, but think about you know, what is it that you can do for yourself that will help you feel that way? Another Everything that I've done a lot of testing and experimenting on long term is physical activity. I'm sure you've read about all the benefits of how important it is to be physically active , and I have done a lot of different things and I have not liked a lot of things, and it's just a matter of figuring out the right for you. So this think of this is your opportunity to try a whole bunch of new things that you've never tried, and you never know what it is you're gonna really enjoy. Maybe you're gonna enjoy going out to the movies. Maybe it's going after the movies. Mexico trying any restaurant, Maybe it's creating. I know for one thing that really energizes is learning. So sometimes when im just feeling really depleted and uninspired, I'll go on skill share and I'll just learn a new skill or watch a class. I feel so energized after that. I'm like, OK, this has given me new inspiration to go and create feel ready. Um so for physical activity and getting back to physical activity, thinking this is your chance to try like, I don't know, I skating salsa dancing. You know, if you don't like the gym with traditional methods working and if you do, if your runner, you know, think about how to start incorporating more that time for yourself. If you know that that is your jam. And that is what makes new fuel energized. It's about identifying things that help you feel that way and getting more that into your life. So for me, I started yoga running. I tried home workouts and they were OK, but I do necessarily feel like Oh, I'm so excited to do this. And I actually got into churches, too, and I love it. I feel so amazing after, uh, just to work out that this is like, this is my jam, and I can't even tell you how distorted wonderful it has been. And I think the benefits of physical activity are that they calm you and they energize you at the same time. So I'd highly encourage you to think about you know, some quick things you can do in your life, but also some really long term ones you can incorporate into a bigger routine. So if you're using this guy, I have a couple pages from finding what energizes you with an overview and just like an example. So just anything, Don't concern yourself. Don't Don't limit yourself by what you think you can and can't do right now. That doesn't matter. Just put some ideas on there. Like, if it were me today, I would kind of I hockey. That sounds interesting. I've never done hot you. Maybe I would try hockey or pop dancing. You know, I think dancing could be pretty fun. Uh, you know, what are the things that Maybe if there's this tiny little voice inside of you that you've always wanted to try something, why not embrace that chance and write it down? Think about testing. As you test these things, you think about what the feelings are. And if you are feeling energized afterwards, note that and think about how toe prefab, energizing self care. I hope this has been helpful. Feel free to hit me up in the still share discussion or my emails at the bottom of this guide. Feel free. I would. I'm happy to help you and thanks for watching. 5. Find what calms you: finding what calls you. So this has been a very elusive component of self care that has been the hardest for me to discover, because I think I'm just a very energetic person. So calming down for me is has always been a struggle. So I think this is so important because we all need something in our lives to calm us down , to help us re center and reset when we need that. So that's what this video is about, helping you find those things that give you that feeling of calm of centeredness. And I'm going to introduce the concept of rituals in this video because I think for me, I've been able to find great success in calming myself through rituals. First landed on the concept of rituals and a book by Shiva Rose. I think it's called Hold Beauty. I think that's name of it, I put it in The resource is section within thin my guide. So it's in there, and the idea around rituals is that there's an intention behind hm and so you can take an activity that would normally be just something like making yourself coffee. And once you add an intention to slow down, to relax, make it something more meaningful. It becomes original, and it's through the intention that I found the ability to slow down and call myself now. Traditionally, I have always thought of homing self care as being a spa day, and it certainly can be a very nice, wonderful, expensive way to care for yourself and slow down. But as a working parent, as someone who doesn't have a ton of time, I've really worked hard on finding small rituals that I can do throughout my day to sort of refocus and re center myself when I need it most. So calming things can take on set. So many forms. You know there's their sense. There's these ideas of rituals that you can do. There's fine sets you can give yourself. There's two videos that you can partake in. So as you think about what it is that you can do to calm yourself, you know, think about the whole universe of ideas that they come to you trying medication for. You're trying different activities, or maybe it's interacting with certain people that you find. Call me, so I'm gonna walk you through a couple of my thing roots and some of my originals, and hopefully they'll give you inspiration to find your own. So I have to core rituals that I do every day and one is sort of my morning ritual, and the others I have a very hectic schedule. Work schedule is usually very intense, but every day I have a coffee ritual that I dio, and nobody can rush me through this. I take ASL long as I want, and this is where I usually shut off from all of the craziness going on around me. And the key to these rituals is really about shutting off your brain. You have to shut off all the things that you're thinking in your mind. You have to slow down, breathe and focus only on what you're doing in that. So for me, it's shutting off my brain and all of the crazy thoughts I'm thinking. And I'm focusing on Leon making my coffee because my coffee ritual is kind of like a weird . So I do bulletproof coffee, and every day I have this collagen powder that I added, I have this nets, amount of butter or FCT oil, whatever I have on hand, and I added to my So my original is that I'll get, like, a grand a coffee at Starbucks, drink enough toe leave room for the rest of my ingredients, and when I'm ready when I have 10 minutes or five minutes to spare, slowly make my way over to the kitchen and slowly added my butter. I warm up my coffee. I put in my college and protein powder. Stir it very carefully. I will make sure it's the right temperature for me, and I like how it tastes. I will add cinnamon, nutmeg, and I just immerse myself in this activity. And there's something about shutting off the world around me and immersing myself in this ritual every day. That just gives me like a much more calm, focused centeredness when I come back from that rich. So you know, the key to the ritual is really giving yourself enough time to shut off your brain to immerse yourself in an activity that you can do every day. And I would highly encourage you to think of some ideas around what you can be. A little tea ritual cannot be a warning ritual that you do first thing in the bathroom when you wake up, can it be you know, something in your shower, like with your shower that you could work into this some component of steps that you were doing And you, as you do that you feel yourself just being nourished focused. Now, if you're not able to shut off their brain during these, they're not gonna be nearly so. Maybe I would even say step zero, which is shutting off your brain and learning at present. And immerse yourself in whatever it is that you want, whatever ritual you wanna have. So that ritual is 5 to 10 minutes. But I can't even tell you how much good it does for my brain for the rest of my day. That's the tone you could even do a ritual around getting dressed in the morning, putting on your makeup. Maybe by yourself, treat yourself to one a beautiful, sent a perfume. You always do step in your makeup. You know, however it is, you want to do it. There are so many things you could dio uh, and then my nightly ritual. And this is sort of my trigger. Teoh, Just shut off the world around me and tell my body in my mind that it's time to go to sleep . I always do this right before I go to bed at night. Um, I learned this from watching a YouTube video of police at Aldridge. She's a makeup artist, beauty, wonderful makeup artist, and she has routine face massage, and I put it in the exhausted mom's guy as a resource, and so it linked to the self care. But if you want a Google it it's just googling Lisa Eldridge face massage and she walks you through her routine. And I was so inspired by that, and I do this every night. I use argan oil, and I put on a generous amount, and I just massage my face and, you know, just follow along with her in the video. But she does is essentially what I do. You know, I just sort of I stopped and I put on my oil and I let myself feel sensation, fingers, oil and relaxed. I just breathed into those sensations, and I let it be just really maxing amazing hearing thing that I do and I will like massage away attention. Four. My eyes here, my smile lines job. Sometimes I'll even it's been sober started, and it's great. Ringel prevention, I think, all right. So I would highly recommend thinking about, you know, to rituals. What is a ritual you can design for yourself? Morning and one that you can design. For years, I tried to make it as slow, relaxing as possible and feel free to experiment. There's so many things you could do. Do something with taking a fat that night or you can do something with facial massage. Plus, you know, rubbing your feet for your hands were relaxing your body and doing some kind of like a sharper individually massage. Things like chairs. I don't know you. There's something ideas there. So there's there's the idea of rituals that you can do, and those were like 5 10 minutes, and you could make him as long as you want regular 20 minutes, even an hour. If you want Teoh, create your own specialized rituals, you do. But then there's also things like for me. Another thing that I do is I sent has been so important in my life, so I burned these Pollo santo sticks. I think you could see that those wooden sticks right there. So I love the scent, and there's something about lighting them when I feel like I just need a quick relax ation hit, I will light a candle and I like them and I will just take in the smell and it's just so relaxing and calming to me. So experiment with finding different levels of calming tools like so sense visuals. If there's like a picture or meditation, you chant discovering rituals and then also thinking about activities that you do. So for me, um, ju jitsu comes just a completely depleting my body, and wearing myself out is so relaxing that I feel super blissed out afterwards. So I would highly encourage you to find a physical activity that calmed you and energizes you at the same time. Because it's almost like a two for one bonus. Physical activity can be so amazing in that way. Um, remember what else it wasn't called. So no, I think burning candles burning follows onto sticks was a sense that really nourish me my rituals on, then just finding some physical activities or activities in general that make you feel that sensation call nourishment and relax ation. So I hope this has helped you. If feel free to go to the age and your pride talks without finding things that calm you and start brainstorming ideas around things that you could do. How can you design a ritual in your day? It doesn't have to be to start with one, you know, an experiment. It may work. It may not work. So I'm really looking forward to you discovering things that you help center. 6. Bonus: challenging yourself: hi and welcome to the bonus video on challenging yourself lovingly. Uh, so this is not something you would think of normally as traditional self care, But I think it's been a big component, definitely almost like self care. Love to. It's something that has helped me grow as a person, and I feel incredibly cared for when I do these challenges for myself. So this video is really about how you think about things that and actually this'll. Video is something you probably want to embark on once you've got some self care rituals and you're feeling nourished and taking care of, and you feel like you've gotten some of that self care in your life when you start to feel really good and you made those positive changes. I think something that emerges or that emerged, was the pain to start to charge, and that means taking on the things that scare you. This is not supposed to be something that's stressful. This is supposed to be something bad fun. And if it's not fun, that don't. But there are things in your life. Uh, might seem scary, and I challenge you. Teoh. Think about trying such a giant component off growing and getting is getting out of your comfort zone and discovering that part of yourself that you didn't think you have tapping into that part. Wow, I didn't think I could do that. That could be entering a competition, applying for that job, listening to the crazy voice inside of you that's always wanted to try something. That sounds really scary. I would highly I encourage you when you're at a good point in yourself, your journey to write down things that scary. I maybe put in a loving challenge to yourself. Teoh, try. And if you don't, if you aren't successful, So what? What are you really losing? And if you're really that scared, think about what you could lose versus what you could gain and take on the challenges and, you know, have a low Los Teoh Ain ratio or high game toe low loss. Totally you, but I would highly encourage you to challenge yourself lovingly. For me, one thing that scares me is an idea. Entering a jiu jitsu competition could be a great way for me to challenge myself and to prove to myself that I can do it even if I don't win. There's so much I could gain from that. So I lose. I would also gain all of the training that I did all of the new knowledge that I've accumulated the health and support of my team members at my gym. You know, I have so much to gain. So think about those things is continue to go on yourself surgery. And I'm so appreciative of time you spent with me. I hope you as always, feel free to reach out to me. The email bottom This guide for within this girl share discussions and it will be a great day.