The Confidence Blueprint | Justin Quinton | Skillshare

The Confidence Blueprint

Justin Quinton, Author & Coach

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8 Lessons (52m)
    • 1. The Confidence Blueprint Part 1

      7:33
    • 2. The Confidence Blueprint Part 2

      8:55
    • 3. The Confidence Blueprint Part 3

      10:37
    • 4. Social - Confidence Blueprint

      5:33
    • 5. Culture - Confidence Blueprint

      6:48
    • 6. Psychological - Confidence Blueprint

      7:48
    • 7. Behavioural - Confidence Blueprint

      3:52
    • 8. The Confidence Blueprint Conclusion

      1:21

About This Class

Want to learn?

  • The fastest way to get real, lasting Core Confidence 

  • What builds confidence and why most confidence-building “solutions” fail

  • How to be confident regardless of Looks, Money or Status 

  • Why your confidence seems to decrease and increases in life

This course peels back the curtain on what actually creates confidence and helps you to replicate it in your own life. 

Transcripts

1. The Confidence Blueprint Part 1: Hey, how's it going, guys? My name is Justin, and welcome to the confidence blueprint. I'm about to break down exactly what it takes to be confident in all different areas. Your life. I'm talking core confidence conditioning Now The reason I called core confidence conditioning is that there's many different approaches to improving your confidence. You probably heard everything from fake it till you make it till improve your health or repetition is key. Probably had a whole bunch of different strategies. Is not that one works. We need to touch on all different things and there's a lot of different stuff out there. So I have compiled all these different strategies and applying them into a model that we're going to use. And it's actually a model called the all quadrants all levels model by 10 Wilbur. And this will allow us to get a well rounded, really all inclusive picture about what causes and what creates and how to improve confidence. So let's dive right on it. Now off the bat, we need to understand the all quadrants, all levels model super simply everything in this in these two quadrants here is the in turnout. I apologize in advance for my writing here. Now, these two qualities, when we're talking about internal these are things that can't be measured, right, So, like feelings or like culture or normals or attitude. So the things that we can really measure in life, what this means is that these things are very sub objective. Now, thes 2/4 are going to collect the X eternal strategies. External strategies are things that are very observable there in the external world weaken very much measure them, which means that they're very of objective. Now, these air things like behaviors or like money or like looks or things that are very much more in the category of like, you know, is this person ripped? Is this one not like things we can actually see their external things. So internal stuff, external stuff. Now, in terms of the differences between the rest of these things, I want to see this as the in Did you well war you and things here as the cold work do you or others. Now, So these two are the individual or you. These two are the others. And why this is important. This is all well rounded kind of picture for what a lot of strategies kind of come about from now. The reason we want to look at this approach is because a lot of different strategies fit in different places and a lot of people really focus on what you'll find is that majority advice focuses on just one or maybe two of these sort of things. But nor first have core confidence. We wanted all well rounded picture. So we're gonna dive into this right now. So off the bat, the best way for us to look at this is gonna call this the I this one the it this one is the it's. And then this one is the we now the best way to see this as to be save your Oh, right. So our actions things their behaviors that we can actually observe, right, external, with the individual things in here we're going to see as our psych all Ogea, right? These are things like our self image. Or, you know, the different thoughts that we actually hold very intentional things that we're doing with our mind are right here and there again. Things that we can't really measure right there. Internal so things belong there. This year, we're going to call coat Cultural so again stuff that we cannot measure because we're in internal things here. But they still exist. The right things that cultures like normals, things that we see others doing, right, what others and collectively we agreed on. Now we go into the external with the collective stuff. This has to do with social social stuff. What we're gonna call this, as is really things like that are measurable and objective things that collectively we kind of decided, or at least from an advertising, you know, perspective or really, let's call it a guess. The best way to put it is like a you know, a marketable standpoint. Most advertisements play on this. So right now, you know, most marketers most advertisers are going to play on things like money. So how do you get more money in life? How do you get ripped or lose weight or whatever, Right. Wait or, you know, again looks status, right? So everything in here are things that you know we can see. Status is something like, Oh, he's this C E o. Or he's a business owner or, you know, he is the let's say like the winner or something like that, right? Things that give you status or ego things that we can measure like this is your title right now. As for look, feel this is how to improve your looks. The entire beauty industry, beauty slash fashion industry is all in here ripped or weight loss. Well, we know about this, right? A lot of marketers play on, you know, our ability, lose weight or get Jack, get six pack abs, you know, six pack a right that in there and again money like how to make money quick. Or if you had money, you get the girl. Bhola and a lot of us believe that if we get this sort of thing covered, then we'd be confident. And the problem with this is it's not that it's incorrect. There's actually a certain limit, right? We actually know that if you make a certain amount of money, you're going to feel some more confidence is bound a happen right? Or if you get ripped if you start to lose weight, Yeah, you're gonna get a bit more confidence, right? Or, you know, say, for example, you bought a new. Sure. You got some. You know, that's some more makeup. Or you You got a new look. New haircut? Yeah. You're gonna feel different. You're gonna have a little bit more conference. This is true. And these are things that kind of touch into, and this is what majority of confidence right now, the majority people think confidence really comes from. But that's just one part of the big puzzle here and against status that we think like, Oh, you know, we won this thing if we met, got this achievement, reuse the business owner, a CEO or something. Then we'd have the stats. Then I could be confident. Realistically, Like I said, this is just one part, and a lot of people spend their entire life trying to get this. They're trying to really focus on this, and it's not that it doesn't matter. It's not. That doesn't work either. I'll be honest. I'm the first person to say that looks do matter. But to an extent now, the reason I say this is that there was many different areas that come down to confidence. These are things that collectively majority of us like of a person is like does that probably confident, right? But we know as well that there's lots of people that are, you know, really beautiful. But they're insecure, right? There's people that are like CEOs or business owners, and you know, they're doing it out of insecurity. Or we know people that might like be ripped and whatnot like that, but realistically and are confident. Right and again, a lot of people know very wealthy people that are massively insecure, right. They have to flaunt their money to get their insecurity or to get to start to get their confidence. 2. The Confidence Blueprint Part 2: Let's talk about some other ones here. Typically speaking when we look at how to improve confidence were usually finding stuff in the behavioral category and the psychology category. These are very popular ones and self help. So the best way for me to talk about this is that a majority of the behavioral stuff really looks like this confidence is competence, right? So it's what you do repetitive Lee all the time. And you know you can do it. You fail a lot your field 100 times over. With this, we're going to say failed lots slash rep at Titian. If you've done something a whole bunch of times, if you've repeated the process 100 times over, you're gonna have some confidence in your ability to do this. This is very much like, you know what if I'm afraid to talk to girls or guys or something like this? Well, if you've done it a lot of socialized a lot, then you're going to get some more confidence on this. Yeah, yeah, I'm a social person. I could do it. I've done it 100 times over. We're seeing with public speaking right? Have done a lot of it. You're gonna have confidence in your ability to do this. Now, this is very behavior. We can measure this sort of thing. This is again, like I said, competence. And again, my penmanship is just wonderful. But we're going with this. This is what you see. A lot of so most people, when they talk about how to get more confident, it's really just fail lots. Try lots. All this stuff and this again work to get lots of confidence from this. If you do this behavioral stuff you're going to experience, the more confidence this is like one of the core ways to do it. So whatever you're not confident in, just repeat it, Do lots of it, and you're gonna get some competent, you know, you're gonna get some confidence, which is confidence, right? You're gonna be able to trust yourself and your ability to, you know, do whatever that thing is. So this is where you see a lot of like someone who you know, they've studied a particular field, right? Like let's say they, they've done a sport right, and they're very confident their ability to succeed in that sport. Like, say, they're very good basketball while they're confident basketball because they've played a lot of it, right? Or, you know, this is again like I said, something that, you know, maybe they know everything. They've seen all the failures, have seen all the problems, like, very confident their job. But I have seen everything that could go wrong. I've seen I've seen shit hit the fan, and I've been there, have been able to solve it, right? So this is confidence in your job. So this is where you see a lot of like, you know, repetition again. So that's that there. And this has to do with the individual. Now, let's go ahead and talk about the internal. This is where you start to see your fake until you make it kind of stuff. And it's not that bad. I know that has a bit of a negative connotation, but hear me out. What this really is is yourself image. So realistically with this, your self image is how you relate to the external world, is how, when you see a T shirt, for example, you might go, you know that's not me or that is near here. A piece of music in the cool. This is me. This is like my jam. This is my thing, right? Or you might see a car or, you know, even like something like a belief, right? Like I'm a Christian or I am an atheist. Or, you know, I'm a hard worker, right? Like a behavioral trait to your actual internal identification with it. This is your self image, right? And so why this is important is this is essentially us saying that's like me or that's not may very simply so. Strategies along these lines really look like, you know, us controlling this self image, right, us controlling how we identify with the external world. And I'll tell you something right now, this strategy right here is very much along the lines of if you feel good about yourself, image. If you believe that your self image, your current traits, who you identify with if you think they help you and if you're happy about them, then you're going to have confidence, right? This is very simply put how you control yourself in himself. It's pretty much saying that's like me or that's not like me. So one of the quick ways you can do this in this category is immediately when you see something like you go, that's like me, right? You see a common person that's like me any time you do something well, that's like me, right? You really repeat this over and over. So that is the internal image share. Now the other thing we want to look at and lastly and what's very rarely talked about is the cultural element. Now the reason is very rarely talked about is it's kind of a complex issue. See, how do we control our culture? Realistically, if you want to talk about how to make yourself confident one of the fastest things that you do it start to control your pre section off the external world. So this is things like control the amount of input or media that you take in. All right, your media. So do you watch a lot of news? Do you watch a lot of negative stuff? Do you watch, You know, is your perception of the others of the world is your perception of it. A very dangerous, scary place, right? Is a feel scary to you, right? Is it very doggy dog? Kind of thing. So when we talk about how to improve confidence from a cultural standpoint, we got a look at what are normals are right. What is our input from others, right. What are others telling us? This is very important. And this is where you start to surround yourself with people that like who you are, really accept you for who you truly are is very, very important. Says it plays a huge component into becoming confidence. So one always control. This is by controlling our perception by controlling the input we get from others, right? Ignoring the haters you might have heard. Like, fuck the haters kind of thing like that, right? My haters gonna hate right and or, you know, controlling what's normal to us, right? What is it? What's normal? What is? You know, You know what's weird, right? If you're watching your reading, self help content is weird to you. You're not gonna feel very good about it, right, Or being confident feels weird. Like everyone in your group is like, insecure, and you're the only confident when it's gonna feel weird. Right? So this is why it's super important control the input that you're giving yourself, right? What is the culture that you're surrounding yourself in? A lot of people would look at this and go like, Well, you know, my culture doesn't support, you know, being cock years. And this isn't about cockiness. This has to do with Does your current culture support your self esteem is okay with yourself. Steve, a lot of people have promise of this. And this is where you really need to control this. This is one of the solutions. So pretty basically put. This category here is about confidence is confidence, right? Repetition. This one here is confidence is money A status? Is looking good stuff like that. Right. Fresh, fresh. Look right. This category here is very much like how you feel about you write how you feel about your identity. And this one here is how others feel about you, right? So this is a well rounded model of all the different strategies. And if you look at this, you can probably find that majority of confidence strategies out there right now, use one of these four things. You can really fit them into one of these categories. And the problem is that when we start to look towards conference. Most people are just gonna touch on one thing, right? If you look at, like, basic, you know, social media or things like this, they're gonna say, You gotta have this right. You gotta look good. You gotta, you know, control your weight. You gotta, you know, make a lot of money. Blubber blocks. You know, you talk to maybe a behavioralist or someone who's like repetition base like this right there. If you want to get good at something, you gotta practice, right? You got a hostile all here, right? This is the hustle mentality you want to talk about with psychology more. And I know this is all this kind of all relates right to psychology, but we talked about the individual, the internal individual stuff. This is very much like the You gotta believe your company. You've got to enjoy yourself. Image. You gotta really feel good about who you are. Your identity, right? Right. That in there too. T Now, this stuff here again, just recap is very much the perception, the input that you're getting from others, right? What's your normals? Do you watch a lot of positive materially watch a lot of motivational material. Do you get a message from others? That's like, I'm confident you're very good at what you do or you're very lean. Um, like, you have a good idea about the world. You an intelligent person, like people really boost your ego. That's not boosting real in a bad way. But really, they just like they appreciate who you are. They like who you are. They you know, they support your image. They support where you're trying to go in life, and they're okay with you being confident with yourself. A lot of people aren't. So this is something that a lot of people don't really touch on. But when we look at this model, when we start to think about things like do looks matter well, let me give an example of how this plays out 3. The Confidence Blueprint Part 3: So when we start to look towards, like, do looks matter, they do to a certain degree. But you can get confidence from any of these quadrants. Now here's the promise that because most people don't taken integral approach, you don't take a well rounded approach. They're struggling really intensely. One category and the problem is, is that you know, if you're just focusing on one category, you're gonna have to work extra hard. So the best way I'd like to look at this is that in order to have core confidence, core confit dense, let's see for hypothetical. See, you need Tim 10 points and in each one of these you have, let's say, 10 points that you can access in each one of these categories. Now most people, like I say, just focus on one of these categories, and so they're working extremely hard to get all 10 points. Now The problem is, let me show you do looks matter Well, if you're a 10 10 on looks sort of thing or status or whatnot like that, yeah, it's cool. It works. But think about how much bloody work you're gonna have to do to, like, earn the maximum I get Just can't. It just is very difficult to be the wealthiest, most best looking person the world to get to that top 10 points in this category. So it's gonna, you know, it's gonna be very, very difficult, right? You're gonna need a little bit of work here, right? And in this internal, very psychology based, If you have some individual, you know, how you feel about yourself. Conference a lot of confidence work here. And a lot of, like, good, positive self images, like, you know, I'm a confident person, or I'm not an anxious person or I'm the type of person that could walk up to a stranger. I'm the type person that sociable. I'm the type of person that you know, I'm a great under stress, right? Or new situations. I could be myself around new people, these sort of things, right. If you work just on this again, if you want to tap all 10 points, you're gonna have to work pretty hard. If you're you know, Broca's hell like you're homeless. You're not doing anything here, right? You have nothing in this category. You're gonna have to work pretty damn hard in that psychology categories so you can see how do looks matter? How do you answer this is realistically, Well, sort of. It kind of does right? Looks matter a little bit. Just some same is like, you know, psychology matters a little bit or a lot right now. The reason why a lot of people turn towards external behavior, stuff and internal, so called yourself. Is it something you could do right off the bat? It's something that you could quickly and immediately do. And this is where you're gonna find a lot of we're gonna call beginner games. Really? If you haven't done a lot of repetition and something right, like your nerves will public's being or you're nervous about talking to a stranger. You know, asking someone out on a date with practice is gonna get better, right? So this is very easy to do, just repetition. But obviously it caused a lot of social anxiety, right to just jump out do that right. It's a very anxiety provoking. And that's why I create that one product called The Fear. We're gonna get into a little bit later. But for now, confidence comes. We're going to conference blueprints so pretty much speaking. When we look at any of these categories, there's 40 points on the table and all we need is 10 points, 10 points for core coughs. I know this is hypothetical, but stick with me here. The best way in the fastest way to do this is to take the beginner gains in each of these categories. You know, like taking let's go like the I can't do the math on this, right? But you say we got like, you know, let's take like, five points here that's juicy there. I could take five points here. There, you got some core confidence, right? Or, you know, let's take away one point here and let's take another point away here and we'll take, you know, one in each of these, right? So maybe we started taking into better media, right? We cut out the news, we cut out things that freak us out. It's not to be ignorant, but realistically, let's control our perception of if your media isn't serving. If when you watch it feel bad, feel negative about the world, cut it out. It's not serving you rights, not serving your comments. Making scared is making you fearful it doesn't hold any value. So in terms of this, if you're taking in better content, right or you're hearing more pot, you surround yourself. More positive people, right? You can do that at one point just for a little strategy in this category. And let's say you start in the gym a little, right or, you know, you go and get a promotion or something along those lines. Just something simple in this category right now, you got court conference, and this is also wine. You might be confident in certain moments. And then that confidence wavers because, you know, maybe you lost a little bit of weight. Now you're sitting at that nine points, right? You know, it is confident, right? Or, you know, you lost your job, right. And now you're suffering in that category. Well, the best way like I said to do this, is to diversify your strategies amongst all these different things. So practice some internal stuff, practice some external behavioral stuff, surround yourself a positive environments and you know it's OK to work on yourself, improve your high to improve your health. These are also very important things. Try and make some more money. But don't just focus of one of these categories. When we look at people that are absolutely confident they actually have a well rounded picture, they're able to really, you know, get results in all these categories. And this is how you stay confidence that you have core confidence That doesn't waver, right? And obviously, it's gonna waiver in certain areas. Like maybe you have tons of this and tons of this times of this. But you have none of the behavioral stuff, right? Like you've never once in your life, you know, done public speaking, but really, really believe in your message. Really, really believe in, like your ability toe deliver. You could probably get up there, right? And you probably Yeah, I'm absolutely certain. And you talk to people about in the man. Your stuff is the shit is so good. You're gonna love it. You can get some confidence there, right? And, you know, say you like, you look pretty good here. You know, you feel pretty good. You you make some decent money, you know? You got some, you know, some cool. You know, wardrobe went like that, right? You've got some cool clothes. You get a cool haircut, whatever. But realistically speaking, this is You know how you can start to do things behavioral e that you've maybe never done before, but have some confidence in it. And we're not talking about cockiness. This is not about cockiness. This is just different areas of how toe have trust in yourself and realistic. We break down the word confidence, confidence Just trust, really. It's it Derives some having trust in something, having trust in your behaviors, right? Your ability to do something haven't trusting yourself, right? You know how you feel about yourself. You Are you the type of person that can handle stress or what? I like this rain. Um, you know, also are feel good about yourself, right? Or have trust in your ideas, right? How they relate to other people or, you know, have trust in your you know, where you stand compared to other people. I know it sounds bad, but you can actually gain some coffee if you like. Yeah, I'm the type of guy that, like, owns this or, you know, I actually take care of my health. These sort of things. You can get a lot of improvements from this. So we've covered a lot of different topics right now, and I've tried to give you a well rounded picture of how confidence comes about and why certain things matter why things work in UAE. Things don't. But we really we just touched This is just the tip of the iceberg. I would love to get into particular strategies for each one of these things, right? And how you can apply them very easily. And one thing you're gonna notice too, is that there's a lot of anxiety that comes with this right When you want to try new things , you're gonna, you know, especially social stuff. Realistically, you're going Teoh, you're gonna feel anxious. That's pretty normal. When you're putting yourself out there, right, sharing yourself with other people, you're gonna have a fear rejection. He's a totally normal things, right? Or even, You know, if you're a little out of shape right here, you want to get back in the gym and you're comparing yourself to other people who are already ahead of you. You're gonna feel a little embarrassment. You gonna be a little awkward. We're not like that and as well if you start telling yourself like, Yeah, I'm confident, confident your mind's going to go like No, you're not. You're bullshitting. There's a lot of things that happened with this. And so I actually touched in depth and all these things My product called the Fear two point. Oh, now, this is something that I've been working on for many different years, and we actually dive into a very integral, well rounded approach about how to get rid of social anxiety, build confidence and, you know, really improve your life in all these different areas. And so it really does start with, you know, I could tell you how to do these little things, but we really got to get down to the root, which is fear. Fear is the thing that's stopping the majority of us from actually trying. Any of these things were improving. Any of this is what if I fail? What I look like an idiot, right? What if I, uh, myself images enhances that I'm a fool? Damn fool, right? Or, you know, maybe I'm, like, not physically attractive wide fucking bother, right? Or, you know, why bother even hitting the gym? I'm too far gone or something like this, we'll touch on these sort of things, right? Or, you know, I'm afraid to put my art out there. My creative expression, my ideas. I'm afraid to share them with others. Yeah, I can help you with the rejection component, right? Or again, if you want to talk to a stranger, ask that person on data, raise your hand and meeting. Speak up public speaking any of these things, right? It comes down to fear realistically. So before even touch on confidence, we really gotta touch on fear. We really gotta touch on social anxiety. Really Got a touch on anxieties, a general thing to And so my product, if you're two point, helps people break those things down, and then we work on this. It's kind of like we don't want to take a boat out to see if there's a bunch of holes in it , right? You're just going to sink. But we also kind of do have to take it out just to see where the holes are. So it's kind of a weird thing like that, and I talk about this and fear 2.0, where we get really in depth in all these different categories and give you solutions that really make this easy to apply. And you're gonna get some immediate gains, An immediate results with this. And, you know, it really does come down to how do we allocate our efforts, right? Do we focus intensely on one category? Well, we talked about that. If you do that, it's gonna be very difficult for you, Teoh really folks on that. It takes quite a bit of effort. And this is why, if we want to be effective, it's easier for us to really just touch on many different things. So this has been the confidence blueprint were just touched on the basics of it. But this explains why things like looks sore, do and don't matter or why things like repetition do and don't matter, or why things like our self image like how we feel about ourselves, right? Do and don't matter. Our cell talk right? And again, Why are ideas in comparison to other people? Are that crazy? Are they nuanced, or are they simply accepted or they controversial these sort of things they do and don't matter 4. Social - Confidence Blueprint: All right. So I'm assuming you've seen my confidence blueprint where I talk about the four different quadrants off what creates confidence and the different strategies that people used to actually improve their confidence. Now there's a lot of them, and I touched on a lot of that stuff. You haven't seen it. Please go do that now. But if you have, let's dive Warren death into how you can improve all these quadrants. Now, if you remember, there were four quadrants. Psychological, behavioral, cultural and social Social is the stuff that typically you find most people trying market to right? So when we're talking about how to improve your confidence, this is where advertisers really play on the fashion industry, the health industry and the dating industry. Right? This is where they're very much like, if you want to get girls dressed like this, if you want to get a boyfriend act like this or, you know, you gotta buy this program to get six pack abs right or unifying like you got address in this fashion or, you know you'll also find a lot of weight loss stuff. It's all marketable stuff like that, and you'll notice that realistically in that category. There are particular things that if you were to see someone having like if they were ripped or very fit, you could probably assume that they were confident. Now, that's not always the case as we've known. And as you probably met, a lot of, like, insecure, like buff people and stuff like that, right? But it is a good rule of thumb that this stuff will improve your confidence. I'm not denying that you could lose weight or build muscle, and you will get more confidence. They are interconnected. And I think a lot of people kind of ignore this fact that if you even if you do make more money, you're going to feel more confident. If you do dress more fashionably, you're going to get more confident you're gonna feel more confident. These are not things to snuff at now. I know part of it is like, Well, what? What am I supposed to do, right? Is that what it all comes down to? Looks absolutely not. Not even close. But these air easy ways to spike your confidence immediately off the bottom unity of some actionable items to really optimize in that stage. So for the social category, immediately, you need to start exercising. Okay. Start focusing on your appearance. Start taking your health very seriously. You don't need to do this to get confidence, but this will also help your confidence on. We want to touch on all different areas in life. And this is how you get real core confidence. We want to work on all these quadrants because just miss out on one man. You know, we're not getting the full picture, and we could really do ourselves a service. We can make it easier for us in the other quadrants if we focus on all of them. So focus on your hygiene, Get your hygiene on point. All right? And I know that's probably a basic but a lot of people don't do this right. Keep clean shaven, You know are like keep tidy, not stuff like this. Right? Smell good sort of stuff. Like that. Shower and brush your teeth. All the regular hygiene stuff, right? Sleep more, eat correctly. Focus on your diet. Make sure you exercise right. Try to lift heavy weights If you're skinny or not like this writer to increase your testosterone or If you need to lose weight, control your diet, start running, start doing cardio. These basic things now I know one side of is like What the hell? I didn't sign up for this shit, right, But hear me out, all right? If you put effort into yourself of any type, any type, whether it be the psychology quadrant, behavioral or cultural, any type of focus that you put into yourself, any investment you're making yourself is going to be good. Now there are limits to each quadrant, right? You're not gonna be the most attractive person in the world, and you're not gonna be the buffets and not gonna make the most money. But these air still things to strive for, not because you need them, but because the act of doing them will improve your confidence. You're going to feel more confident if you if you invest in yourself and you go to the gym , we start dressing nicer or, you know, you start like, you know, dolling up a little, working on your hygiene, take care your health, you're going to have a lot more confidence. It's true. So there's no shame in actually focusing on that take your health very seriously. You're going to find it gives you plenty of benefits. Plus, you'll think a lot clear if you're healthy. People don't understand. The relationship between diet and their mental performance is very, very important to focus on, so keep it clean. Diet exercise regularly. You're just gonna feel better. You don't have to get super jacked. I mean, you can, But, you know, just just go for a run, be active. That's going improve your confidence dramatically. So that's one category. You can also focuses well on improving your finances. Right? Start investing. Start saving, right Start maybe becoming self employed. Get a side business going. Do all these sort of things. This will help you gain coffees will give you more of a purpose as well. You'll feel like you're, you know, more on top of things, having control of all areas where life is going to view an immense amount of, you know, confidence. So there's nothing to scoff at. I know part of his like his son, if this crap give me the stuff to do with my head. But this stuff does very much relate. It doesn't exclusively work, and it has its limits. But as one of the parts of the quadrants here, it has its marriage 5. Culture - Confidence Blueprint: So we're going to look at the quadrant known as cultural, and this is in the lower left side. So this is things that are internal that we can't measure and collective right? So things like culture, things like normals, things like attitudes. What's normal? What's were all these sort of things in order improve this quadrant. We really need to focus on our input. Input is everything in this sense of it, and it's not a simple is just focus. It's really the media that we're taking in. Let me give you an example. If you watch the news, you probably have a perspective that the world is very scary place when in reality, if you were to go out and check it out. Sure, there are scary things that happen. But that's the news is not a representation of your day Today. The news plays on the scariest elements, and, you know, it's kind of if it bleeds, it leads kind of attitude. Now, why is this important? Well, if you're watching news and if you're watching a lot of advertisements, you're going to have a lower self image because culture has no interest in just boosting your self esteem. In fact, it plays on your insecurities. It picks on the facts that, you know, all of us want to improve. All of us want to have a sense of belonging. All this feel a tad, you know, often times and our emotions aren't always there. It plays on our happiness that plays on their hope, and these are very important to notice. If you want to start controlling your culture and you want to start building confidence, you need to create a new culture. You need to start designing the perception that you're going to take in, and you do this by controlling the input of media. I highly recommend that you cut out the news and is not to be ignorant about the world, but rather it doesn't serve you if something doesn't add value to your life. If it's not productive toe where you want to go, caught it out. Plain and simple. Now immediately, I'm going to tell you a couple things. Your friends as well helped design this culture. If you don't have a productive social group, if you have a group where it's weird to be confident or they put you down or they're not supportive. You need to look towards building a new group. You need to look towards cutting out negative people. I know this is harsh, but this is very important. You are the collection of the inputs you give your brain. You might have heard that saying you are the collection, your five closest friends. It really is the inputs that you give your brain. You are the five influences that you put in, or six or seven or whatever. So me right now I'm influencing you in a certain way. As you're listening to me, I'm giving you a type of reality. I'm giving you a culture. I'm telling you what's normal and how to go about that. So what I'm telling you like, yeah, we're going to go approach people. Yeah, We're going to go and work on our confidence. The our big into personal development were really improving ourselves. These are very concluded there. Very normal to me. And so by you listening to me, that becomes a normal for you. The more you listen to me, the more positive and, you know, personal development content is going to seem normal and regular to you and that's your culture. At that point, you need to start controlling your input and whether that's what the music you listen to. If it's negative, it doesn't make you feel good. Music usually makes people feel good, but look at the messages of your music. I'm not saying cut out everything. That's negative because obviously, you know, we play on pain and, like a lot of great works of art are based on pain. But I am asking you to very, very, very selective of the media that you feed yourself. See, it's the kind of thing that when we look towards what we're actually consuming on the day to day basis, you'll notice that a lot of it is. Advertisements will notice that a lot of it is negativity. Lotus. A lot of it is, you know, playing on our insecurities attack, and you'll notice that even a lot of interactions that people are a lot of complaining. So because of this, it's a very important toe. Look at your inputs. What type of media you consuming really start to take this seriously? Start taken more positive information. Start to read more personal development, start to read more books on psychology start to read more finance books start to read things that make you feel optimistic. Things that make you inspired taking that input. And it's not about just like putting your head in the sand. But a certain part of this is like recognizing them. Certain things don't add value to your life. They don't make you feel better. They just distract you. And one of the best ways to do this is to cut out TV Caught out The news caught out social media. Now I'm not talking about being a hermit here, but I am talking about being very selective with the content you put into your brain. Now one of the things you're going to notice is that it feels naive. It feels like you're being ignorant, but you have to understand that what we're trying to do is we're trying to build the core of your foundation. We're trying to remove your anxiety and bring your confidence up and have a really solid, foundational core confidence. Now, when you have this once that's built, then at that point we can introduce the things that you once enjoyed. If you did enjoy TV and and advertisements and stuff like that. If not, you might not even have any want to actually go back to it? And that's what I find typically is the case. But I'm trying to kind of give you an incentive as to why you should do this when you recognize that you are the input that you give your brain. When you recognize that if you start to input positive material, you're going to have a more positive outlook, your culture, what's normal becomes very, very different. Siem might have an attitude right now. That's like it's a dog eat dog world out there, right? Everyone's out for themselves, you know, everyone trying to make a Buck Evans trying to scam You might assume that's the case when realistically, that would come from taking in poor social media, taking in poor television, taking in poor advertisements, watching the news, getting fed a negative image, getting poor inputs, being fed into you and therefore you're going to have a different result. So when you change your input, you change. Your culture is a super important 6. Psychological - Confidence Blueprint: Let's talk about psychology. Now I know all this is kind of psychology. What we're really talking about in this quadrant is things that are internal and things that air to do with the individual. So when we talk about psychology, we're talking about our internal. What's going on? The stuff We can't measure things like our focus. Things like our thoughts. Things like our emotions now weaken biologically, measure emotions. But we actually talk about the experience of an emotion. It's very subjective. Now why we need to focus on this is we need to construct who we want to be. I know this sounds really odd, but I want you to understand you're constantly changing. See, your self image is constantly changing, its constantly being adjusted as you experience the world. Let me give an example. This If we ask a 12 year old kid, you know who are you? He might say, You know, my name's Adam. I like basketball. Um, you know, like playing video games and, uh, you know, I think I'm funny right now. If we ask this person, who are you? 10 years later, we're going in a very different response. Aren't we we're gonna get a more complex response. We're gonna get something like, Well, you know, I'm a physics major. I am. Ah, you know, a believer in peace. I am an agnostic. I am, you know. Ah, hard worker. Um, you know, I like Teoh. Go to music shows I like, you know, hanging out with my friends. You're gonna get a very different responses. My point now, when the person's answering the question of who am I? Who are you? That changes all the time. You might think that you're the senior. I'm active core of me as the same. But realistically, it might have just meant that you've stuck with the same self concepts. Now, if you were to go through a traumatic experience or you were to go through any sort of transformative experience or do any more depth work or personal growth, that will change very quickly. And so my argument to you now is that you are going to change. The question is into who now the person you're looking at right now me, Justin Quinton, I've constructed this. I know it sounds weird to say, but I have genuinely designed who I wanted to be. I had an idea about who was the type of person I wanted to be. I knew I wanted to help people. I knew I wanted to share my ideas. I knew that I was very good with psychology, and I had a, Ah lot of talents around the ability to make changes in people. I knew I needed to do that, but I also knew I was anxious at the time. But what I did instead was I designed myself. I decided, What are the traits I want in who I am? When I can say, Who are you? I'm confident, charismatic. I'm a funny guy. I care a lot and I love psychology is my passion right? There's all these things about me. Those were designed. Those were things I selected, and then I just moved towards. I allowed my brain in my mind in my actions today, direct me into this person, And so when I start talking about focusing on your psychology, the one thing that you could do with this is you can start to get very serious about what you say that's like me to. That's not like me to when you really start to go and look at the things you like to go. That's like me. That's like me right there. You see someone in a nice car that's like me. You see a confident person that's like me. You see someone who is able to just, like be charismatically. Yeah, that's like me. This is very important that you start to design who you are. You're almost in a certain way psychologically engineering who you are. Another way you can do this, too is gonna start to work towards your beliefs. What do your beliefs about the world are they accurate? This is super important to dive into. If your beliefs are not serving you, it's time to draw a line in the sand and select some new ones. All right, on the way. And I know it sounds crazy, like I how I control I believes your beliefs of the byproduct of what you believe will get rid of pain or give you pleasure. That's it. So when you wanna control a belief, it's very important. Select new data or new evidence to support something that removes pain or gives you pleasure, and that's it. Now I know it sounds like a little advance in some sense of it. So give an example. A belief is the collection of a bunch of fax, or how it is about the world. I wanted to really question what your beliefs are, and as you question what your beliefs are, you'll notice that they oftentimes don't have much bearings. You might think they do, but realistically they're very subjective, and they're usually from our experience or something. Someone's told us. Now the problem with this is that obviously, you know, how do we break down all these beliefs? How do we actually like dive into this? My my point is this. If you really want to get serious about changing a belief system, you really need to look towards what and where you got it. Now. The truth of this is that majority of our beliefs are very subjective. They truly are. I know it sounds crazy, but there's enough variation in the world to make any of your beliefs, assumptions or rationalisation seem true. And so it's super important that from this point forward, you recognize what of the beliefs that serve you and what don't What are your generalizations about people, right? How do you feel about women? How do you feel about men? How do you feel about relationships? How do you feel about single people? How do you feel about people who work out? Look at all these things. How do you feel about fat people? Right. How do you feel about certain beliefs like religions or political movements? Really? Look towards what you believe about a group of people or about a situation or something. Look at those beliefs. And if they're not serving you, if they're not making you happy, it is time to get rid of them. And the way that you get rid of them is by asking, where the hell did they come from? What are they doing? And then you start to select a contrast ing belief that works for you when you find evidence to make it true. Like I said, there's enough variation in this world that allows you to make any of your beliefs seem true. You're gonna do it regardless. You might as well do it effectively. So these are some strategies, and these are some things you can do to improve your psychology. Focus on yourself. Image in your identity, focus on changing beliefs that no longer serve you and try to break down the ones that are negative. Simply put these air some strategy can do immediately, and I know they seem pretty farfetched and kind of advanced. But if you could do these things, you'll see how quickly it affects your confidence. See, let me give an example. If you think that you need to be rich to be confident, well, right there you have a limitation doesn't serve you. So try and find individuals who are poor but confident simply is that Break down your beliefs by finding new evidence. That's how you go about doing it. So that's on the one side. The element that allows you control your psychology is your focus. What you continually focus on repeatedly, you're going to start pulling out, so focus is the tool that allows you to design your psychology plain and simple. 7. Behavioural - Confidence Blueprint: So let's talk about the behaviour quadrant. When we look towards how to become more confident in this quadrant, you'll find the majority of strategies are surrounding repetition. So here, a lot of confidences, competence. And in that frame, it just means what you know how to do is what you're confident in, right? So if you've done your job 100 times over, you're gonna feel pretty confident in, you know, in your job, right. If you've seen all the problems that could possibly arise, you're gonna feel confident. And that takes repetition. That takes time. So time is the element that's required in this category. You gotta repeatedly do something. So let's say, for example, you want to break down our anxiety like we're doing in this program. And every time you feel something is providing you with some anxiety, you're like, No, I'm gonna go after it. I'm gonna chase it. I'm gonna face that beer, Right. So say you're like, you want to ask that person out on a date or you want to start a conversation and, uh and you just immediately go and you start talking, Yeah, you're gonna get more confidence doing that but we want to habituate that. So that becomes who you normally are. And that's behavioral confidence. Now, Like I said, all quadrants have their flaws. See, with this field, if you just started approaching everyone you find attractive Oh, God. Busy all day. Probably right. But in the same regards, if you try to face everything that ever brought you anxiety like, yeah, it's gonna be very difficult. You're to be massively time consuming, so we want to focus a little bit on this. But we also want to focus a little bit on all the other things, right. We want to get a well rounded picture as I was discussing the confidence blueprint. So how do we do this? Well, every single time you have the chance to take an opportunity. Be social, take it. All right. That's the point. We want to habituate being social. We want to habituate being a confident person. So one of the ways we do this is we face our anxieties. We approach people, we become a sociable person. Stop trying to think about what you're trying to get out of a scenario. Just be a sociable person. So part of this is like, you know, don't set goals when you set a goal. Essentially, what you're saying to yourself in that moment is I won't be happy until X So let's say I'm not gonna be happy until I lose £50. That means every action that you take that leads up to £50 is kind of a negative one, because you've essentially said I won't be happy until this. So instead of focusing on goals, focus on habituation. Focus on cultivating a new personality, focus on just being the type of person who has a healthy lifestyle. When you look at people who are actually able to stick to something and habituated, like working out or like being confident, like facing their fears, it's because they've adapted a new lifestyle. They've started focusing on how to habituate a new characteristic in themselves. So this is my point for this category. Focus on habituate ing into a new characteristic or new person. Focus on becoming a new type of person. Really sell yourself the concept in a positive light and get repetition under your belt. If you're afraid to talk to guys or girls, then the only way you're going to get over. That is by talking to lots of guys and girls and you're gonna fuck up, You're gonna mess up. It's gonna be a lot of failure and rejection. This is true. But after you've seen all the troubles after you've seen all of that, you know, handle it. And you have a lot of confidence from there. So that right there is your typical standard how to improve confidence with behaviors. Now again, repetition is key there. Do you have confidence from that point? 8. The Confidence Blueprint Conclusion : Now, as you probably notice, a lot of these are very interconnected, right? A lot of strategies actually touch on many different topics. The point I'm trying to make, though, is that understand that confidence is something that is very much reliant on touching on all these. If you focus on one category, you're really gonna run out of time, you're gonna limit your amount to focus. Right now, I'm gonna be, like, costly, focusing and focusing. You won't be able to do anything else with your life. You're gonna be cutting out tons of positive like things out of your life or things that give you fun. It's a little intense in that regards, and you're gonna be comparing yourself to impossible standards to meet in all these quadrants. So this is important that we take a well rounded approach. We do a little bit here a little bit here a little bit here a little bit here. Why we do this is so that we can get confidence very quickly and have conference that last because as you start to work on many of these categories, this overall life improvement as you do that if one category starts to falter. No problems. You got some backups, right? And this is where it gets very important. I think a lot of people really just focus on one category when the trick is really too. Focus on all of them. So this is how you gain confidence. There's a lot in here. There's a lot, a lot, a lot of meat on this bone. But it also means a lot of strategies available for you. So I hope you enjoyed this part. I'll see you on the other side.