The Complete Resilience Course - Master Emotional Resiliency | TJ Walker | Skillshare

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The Complete Resilience Course - Master Emotional Resiliency

teacher avatar TJ Walker, Public Speaking and Media Training Expert

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

35 Lessons (1h 19m)
    • 1. 0 The Complete Resilience Course Master Emotional Resiliency Promo Video

    • 2. 1 Quick Win! Talk to (Don't Text) A Friend Today

    • 3. 2 This Is Resilience

    • 4. 3 You Can't Control Life's Setbacks, You Can Control Your Reactions

    • 5. I Am a Real Person And I'm ready to Answer Your Questions Here

    • 6. Learn the Difference Between Failing and Being a Failure

    • 7. Here Is Why Resilience Is So Important to Your Life

    • 8. What Is The #1 Thing You Want Resilience to Prepare You For

    • 9. Build Resilience By Looking Outward

    • 10. Here Is What Is Completely Different About This Resilience Course

    • 11. Get Some Sleep!

    • 12. You Have Seen People Fall Apart

    • 13. A Resilient Body Requires Daily Exercise

    • 14. A Balanced Life Leads to Resilience

    • 15. You Need Resilience No Matter What Profession You Enter

    • 16. Where Did Your Instructor Get His Theories About Resilience

    • 17. Resilience Will Help You Succeed At the Highest Levels, Even With Disabilities

    • 18. Perfectionism and Resilience Do NOT Go Together

    • 19. Pick One Thing You Can Do Today To Become More Resilient

    • 20. Resilience Is About the Present and the Future, Not the Past

    • 21. The Growth Mindset Leads to Resilience

    • 22. Positive Thinking Beats Pessimism In the Game of Life

    • 23. Be Self Aware About Your Good Fortunes

    • 24. Getting Fired Isn't a Problem Long term Unemployment Is a Big Problem

    • 25. Resilient People Find A Higher Purpose for Their Life

    • 26. You Must Decide To Be In Charge of Your Own Destiny

    • 27. The Resilient Attitude Toward Failure

    • 28. Not Enough to Accept Failure, You Must Learn and Change from Failure

    • 29. Everything Starts with Strong Daily Habits

    • 30. Please Share One Good Habit You Are Trying to Build

    • 31. Here Is What Is Unique About this Course SelfieSpeak Programming (SSP)

    • 32. Habit Principles Aren't Enough You Need a System that Doesn't Rely on Willpower or Discipline

    • 33. Start Your Day With a Quick, Easy Habit

    • 34. 7 Mix It Up Easy Habits Next to Hard Habits

    • 35. Full Disclosure! Let's Get Real

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About This Class

The Complete Resilience Course - Master Emotional Resiliency
Build Resilience - You Can Master Self-Discipline - Emotional Intelligence - Stress Management - Overcome Adversity

Resilience is not something you’re born with. But it is a skill set you can build. Personal development expert TJ Walker will lead you through this transformational resilience course. Using his unique SelfieSpeak Programming  (SSP) method, Walker will teach you how to build strengthening daily habits in every major sphere of your life.

Meet Your Teacher

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TJ Walker

Public Speaking and Media Training Expert


TJ Walker is the founder of Media Training Worldwide and has been conducting public speaking training workshops and seminars since 1984. Walker has trained Presidents of countries, Prime Ministers, Nobel Peace Prize winners, Super Bowl winners, US Senators, Miss Universes and Members of Parliament .

Walker has more than 100,000 online course enrollments and more than 100,000 online students.

His book, "Secret to Foolproof Presentations" was a USA Today # 1 Bestseller, as well as a Wall Street Journal, and Business Week Bestseller.

Walker is also the author of "Media Training AZ" and "Media Training Success."

In 2009, Walker set the Guinness Book of World Records for Most Talk Radio Appearances ever in a 24 hour period.

Walker has also served as a forme... See full profile

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1. 0 The Complete Resilience Course Master Emotional Resiliency Promo Video: Are you ready for life's setbacks? And I wish you the best, but it's inevitable that you suffer failures, losses in life. Everyone goes through them. Divorces, loss of love wants business failures, getting fired, financial problems. This is a part of life, at least some of those things. Some people bounce back right away, others stay frozen. They decline. Resiliency is what due to spring back to continue living, to indeed thrive. Actor lives setbacks. Haiyan, TJ Walker, I'm a personal development expert and I help people just like you figured out how to become more resilient in life. It's not about never failing. It's about when you do fail, learning from your failures and figuring out how to go beyond. It's not about always having everything perfect happened in your life. They're going to be losses. But how do you respond to those losses? I'm going to teach you my unique selfie speak programming method to give the strength you need in the seven key pillars of life. This way, you will be resilient for all my plans to offer him. Go-ahead, sign up right now, let's get started. 2. 1 Quick Win! Talk to (Don't Text) A Friend Today: Let's start off with a quick win. Here is a simple tip. If you want more resiliency for your business, your professional life or your personal life. Do this one thing to pick up your phone and actually call a friend, could be old-fashioned telephone audio only, or you could do FaceTime or video, but connect to an actual human being WHO just text. All the research shows that what really keeps people grounded, what gives them meaning in life? Having strong personal relationships, friendships. So you may say, I'll teach, I don't have time for friends. I'm busy trying to become partner. Well, what if you don't make partner? You're going to need friends in that dark hour. So I urge you, you don't have to spend three hours talking to your friends each day. But one quick call, spend five minutes a day talking to one friend like this or like this. And that will make you stronger, that will make you more able to withstand life's failures, crises, problems. It will make you more resilient. 3. 2 This Is Resilience: Well, let's define our terms here for the purposes of this course, resiliency is the ability to bounce back, to bounce back from anything unpleasant, bad crisis, anything disruptive that's happened in your life? No, sooner or later This happens to everyone. Something bad happens in your life. Some crisis, you go through a divorce, major health problem, bankruptcy, you get fired, your business goes under. A loved one dies, a parent dies. This is, this is a part of life. You cannot control bad things happening to you from time to time. What you can control is your reaction to that. This is where resiliency comes into play. So many people simply aren't resilient. One of the things goes wrong, one rejection, one failure, and they give up on that thing forever. They may even give up on life forever. Now, obviously, some crises, some setbacks are greater than others. Getting fired from a job at age 16, a part-time job isn't really the setback that losing your own child, the big one is much more extreme than the other. But it's never too soon to build inner strength to build your resiliency. I hope nothing horrible ever happens to you in your life. Certainly nothing is awful as losing a child. But we both know bad things will happen. That is a part of life. So that's why it's so good that you're in this course so you can learn more and more skills to build yourself up so that you have support, so that you are ready for when bad things happen and that they don't bring you down. You in fact, can use these experiences to strengthen yourself and to move on. 4. 3 You Can't Control Life's Setbacks, You Can Control Your Reactions: You cannot always control setbacks in life. You can control how you interpret them. So for example, if a loved one dumps shoe, a spouse, a boyfriend, or girlfriend, you could interpret this as you are inherently unlovable and therefore you cut yourself off from all future relationships. Or you could interpret it as this person wasn't right for me, let's find someone else or you could interpret it as, yes, I handled things poorly in this relationship. I am going to learn from my mistakes so that I'll be better prepared for relationships in the future. And this can apply to business relationships as well. It's about the interpretation. Resilient people don't come to the conclusion that they are somehow flawed, that they need to retreat, that they are irredeemable. Resilient people are always looking for an interpretation that says, OK, maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe I did make mistakes, but it's a learning opportunity so that the next time I'm in this situation, I will be more successful whether it's a personal relationship, a business relationship, an attempt at an athletic feet. They're always looking for ways of using an initial set back, a failure even in crisis to improve. 5. I Am a Real Person And I'm ready to Answer Your Questions Here: Quick note, by the way, I'm a real person. I'm here for you. I'm a full-time instructor right here on this platform, so don't be shy if you have a question, post a question in the student Q and a section. I've also created a forum for you and Facebook page, it's a student Facebook page just for you. You can see a link to that below. So if you have a question, a comment, a disagreement, you want to start a discussion. I'm here for you and so is the rest of the community. So don't hold back. Go ahead post your comments. 6. Learn the Difference Between Failing and Being a Failure: Did you fail or are you a failure? It sounds like I'm playing war games, but it is profoundly important this distinction now I hit on it in a previous lecture, but let's go deeper now. People who are not resilient, unfortunately interpret failure as I failed. I am a failure. I am no good. I should try something else. I shouldn't be in this arena. Whether this arena is trying to publish a book, start a business, or be in a marriage. They internalize the failure and they make it personal. Now, obviously, you and I can make personal mistakes. We can fail on a personal level, but that's different than giving ourselves the brand of failure. Once you tell yourself you are a failure, that it becomes irrational to try to start a new business or start a new relationship, or start trying to master a new sport. If you're fundamentally, structurally a failure, it just doesn't make sense. And that's what happens to people who don't have resilience. They instantly jump to that conclusion. People with resilience tell themselves, okay, I failed in this instance. Doesn't mean I'm a failure for the future. I didn't do this thing right here or this bad thing happened to me. I had nothing to do with me. It was just dumb bad luck doesn't mean I'm destined to have bad luck forever. So it's how you interpret these events and then the label you put on yourself. Resilient people do not think of themselves as failures. Shirt. They've had certain things they failed and I've failed cross-country running when I was in high school. I used to come in last place in cross-country running, but that wasn't my identity. I don't wake up in the morning thinking, wow, I have a failure when it comes to cross country running. Something you haven't thought about until just now. For years and years and years. Successful people, resilient people focus on their successes. They define themselves in terms of successes and the failures inevitably come, and they will come. It's viewed as just another step in the process toward success. 7. Here Is Why Resilience Is So Important to Your Life: Why is resiliency so important? Why we talk about it? Why do people want this? I want you to think back to when you were five or six years old, perhaps in kindergarten, first grade. The Edison's went around the room and people were asked to say, what do you want to be when you grow up? And it was typically things like, I want to be an astronaut. I wanted to be a famous movie star. I want to be a famous singer. These days. I want to be a famous YouTube star. And yet what happens 20-25, 30 years later to most of these kids, they end up in somewhat boring, humdrum jobs, mid-level positions in boring corporations. I don't say that to sound condescending. I hope it doesn't. But it's a fact that very few people end up in their dream job, especially a dream they had at a young age. What separates people from those who reach their dreams versus everyone else. It's quite often, in my opinion, not about having more smarts or intelligence. It's not about working harder necessarily. It's not about being better looking or even more charming. Quite often, the single biggest differentiator is the ability to be resilient when facing rejection and failure. Look at just one particular industry, the movie industry, Hollywood. You can look at so many movie stars, whether it's Tom Hanks, Michael J. Fox, and look at their early years. It was rejection after rejection, after rejection. In some cases, more than a 100 rejections after trying out for commercials in TV shows and movies. And yet they kept at it. The average person who says, I want to be a movie star, TV star might go to Bali wood or London, or New York City or Los Angeles and do some tryouts, maybe five or ten. And then I give up. It's too hard. I can't do it. I don't have enough talent. I'm not good looking enough. When you look at the people who are really successful, Tom Hanks, Michael J. Fox, It's not that they are the best looking people in the world. But at some level, they did have more resilience. It didn't matter that they were rejected not once or twice or dozens of tens or even hundreds of times. They kept ongoing bys. Okay. I wasn't right for that part. Maybe I'll be right for this part. That is resiliency. Non-resilient people say wasn't right for that part and that part, I guess I'm not good for acting. People don't like my look in this town or I'm too short or I'm too at thicker m2 this or I'm too that and yeah, there can be biases. There's no doubt about it. But when you look at so many successful people, they come in almost every size and shape. They still made it, they were resilient. So that's why this is so important if you really want to achieve your highest goals in life. And maybe you're not 5-years old, you don't want to be an astronaut anymore, that's okay. Your goals can change, your aspirations, can change. But make sure you go from up here to up here, not from up here to settling for down here. Which is unfortunately what happens to so many people in life. This lack of resilience forces them to lower their expectations and lower and lower and lower and lower. Constant attempt to avoid rejection, to avoid failure, people do this in their personal relationships, their romantic relationships, as well as their professional relationships. Figuring if I aim low, I won't receive failure. And I won't be told I'm no good, I won't be rejected. And that's a sad way to go through life. That's why it's critically important. You build your resilience, which is why I'm glad you're here. And why I think this course is going to be so useful to you. 8. What Is The #1 Thing You Want Resilience to Prepare You For: Let me ask you, what is the number one thing that you are hoping to build resiliency for? What are you trying to prepare for? Is that the potential of a business failure, a job loss, a family member who is in poor health. I don't want you to share anything that's overly personal that you don't want people to know. But if it's something you can share and you can be generic in the description. If there's something you can share, I'd love to hear from you because that can help me add more content to the course. So what is it that you're really hoping your resilience seat will help you for in the future. And if you don't know, that's okay, that's the thing about crises in life. You never really know what's going to happen. But if there is a particular potential failure or problem that you think is most likely to occur for you in the next few years that go ahead, post that in the student discussion section, either here on the Q and a section and the platform, or in the Facebook page I've created below, just for you. 9. Build Resilience By Looking Outward: Do you look at yourself inward, first or outward? Do you have an outward look? People who are not resilient typically are just looking inward. How does this affect me? Poor little me? Why does this happen to me? Why do I have bad luck? Why am I the victim? Now? Don't get me wrong. Some people legitimately are victims. They have been harmed unfairly. And I don't want to sound like I'm blaming the victim. But when it comes to your resilience gets not a particularly helpful attitude to go through life. Just thinking about woe is me. And looking at yourself primarily as a victim, even though you may be a victim. The far better, more resilient attitude is to look outward. What are you doing for society? What is your purpose that's helping people beyond yourself? Whether it is your local community, your city, your state, your country, your continent, the world, what are you doing? That's a part of a larger purpose. People who are resilient understand that if they focus on making the world a little better place, then that gives their life purpose, that gives their life meaning. And you put those together often that brings joy, that can bring satisfaction at a higher level than before the setback. Tammy Duckworth was an American soldier in Afghanistan. She lost both of her legs, but she then went on to get elected to the United States Congress and the United States Senate. She gets to focus every single day on problems that affect the entire world. She gets to help the entire world. She doesn't just focus on the fact that she has no legs. Did it change her life? Sure. If she wanted to be a marathon runner, did it ruin those plans? Sure. But she has purpose in her life. She is truly a case study in resilience. So focus on what you can do outwardly. What can you do for the rest of the world? What can you do to help society? When you do that, it's so much easier to bounce back. After setbacks. 10. Here Is What Is Completely Different About This Resilience Course: Okay, so here's what's different about this resilience course. I'm going to cover a lot of facts, basic insights, concepts. A lot of them you could frankly find an other online courses and in books. But here's what's different in this course, I'm going to teach you a system where you can essentially brainwash yourself to have the habits you need to become resilient. You're gonna find good tips, good thought patterns, good advice in every book and course on Resilience. They don't really see a lot of people putting out bad information on resilience. But what good is more information? You need a system of giving yourself the habits you need on a daily basis to become resilient. That's what I'm going to teach you and I'm gonna teach you a way of doing it so that you don't have to think about it every day. It's going to be a set it and forget it. System. The system I've devised is called selfie speak programming. You pull up your cell phone, something I know you have. You record a memo to yourself, but audio thinking of it as a podcast for an audience of one yourself. You record a conversation with yourself, telling yourself exactly what you wanna do on a daily basis to build strength, to build yourself at every major sphere of life. And that way, you don't have to think about it after that. You just play the audio everyday. Could be a minute, law. Could be ten or 15 minutes long. But you're not creating a new audio everyday. You're not having to reread the same book every day. You don't have to go off to a workshop or three days, once a quarter. You simply hit play, just like you do with the music or podcasts. And you have the repetition of these messages telling you the habits you're going to do on a daily basis in order to make yourself more resilient. The beauty of this system is it's simple and it works even for lazy people like me. It doesn't require extra willpower or extra motivation. It simply requires one-click a day listening to your own voice. So that's what's different about this course. I'm going to go much deeper and how you create these resilience habits and turn it into a selfie speak program later on in the course, you do not want to miss that. It's really the most important part. 11. Get Some Sleep!: One more quick tip before we really dive in deep to this course. Get some sleep. If you are sleep deprived, you are so much less likely to be resilient. No matter what adversity comes, you are going to be worse off if you're not properly rest it now you can say, well, teach I had a death in the family. I'm not sleeping at all. That's not good advice. Ok. But are you doing things to make it worse? Are you drinking more than usual that can upset sleep patterns. You will be so much more resilient when it comes to your emotions, the actions you take. What specifically you do in your next step. If you are well rested Now there's an epidemic insomnia around the world. Partly because of these things. When you're looking at your cell phone every second of the day and right before you go to bed, it jumbles up the brain. If people have cell phones in their bedroom and things are pinging and zooming and you wake up in the middle of the night and you check your email, you are begging to be sleep deprived. That is destroying your health. It's destroying your ability to think clearly. It is destroying your ability to regulate and control emotions properly. So I'm begging you, turn off your phone, don't put it on, vibrate or Do Not Disturb. Literally turn off your phone one hour before or you need to go to sleep. Do not use your cell phone as an alarm clock. Do not have your cell phone in your bedroom. It sounds like a small quirky thing, but it will dramatically increase your odds of getting a good night's sleep. You will be more resilient in every sphere of life. If you are well rested. 12. You Have Seen People Fall Apart: Chances are, throughout your life, you've known one or more people who seem normal. C by q seemed like me in every regard. And then something happened. They had a business failure. They had a divorce, and they just never got over it. They were never their old self. Again. They became a shadow of their former self. In some cases it's as if they were sleep walking through the rest of their life. They did not have resilience. And it's a shame. It's a lost life. They simply relive the past. That's not going to be you. The reason that happens to so many people is they only had one strengthen their life. There are people who make a million dollars a year and they are really successful in their job. They may be a top salesperson for a huge international electronics company. But what you don't see at first is they have no personal life. Perhaps they are estranged from their spouse and kids because they're always off working. And they may have let their health go because they're on the go constantly working, not eating properly, not exercising. They are not doing anything creative because they're so focused on logging the hours in. They are basically Week in every aspect of life except for one, the money-making, that career part. And when that one thing is gone, all of a sudden, there's nothing left to hold on to. Think of it as a table balancing on one leg. A table with one leg is going to fall over sooner or later. A table with six or seven legs is very stable, even if one leg breaks or as crooked, that table will still stand. And that's what you've got to really create in your own life. You need pillars in every major sphere of life. There's a great quote that I love from the often quoted Warren Buffett. Or he says, only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked. Now he was referring to investors who were simply lucky when everything is up and it didn't matter how smart you are, you're gonna make money for yourself and investors. But when the tide goes out, that one strength no longer helps you. You see who really is got nothing on, who's gotten nothing gelling. I think that's related to the concept of resilience because many people look great when that one thing is going well in their life. They are making a million dollars a year and you don't see that there's nothing else going on in their life. But when the tide goes out and that one's strength is gone, you see there is nothing left. That's what you've got to make sure doesn't happen to you. That's what this course is about, is building all of the pillars in your life. I like to call them spheres, the seven spheres. When it comes to habits that will make you happy and fulfilled in life. 13. A Resilient Body Requires Daily Exercise: If you want a strong body that's resilient to injury and to sickness, it's far better off to not just have a strong mental attitude and think healthy thoughts, but to actually exercise and have strong habits on a daily basis. For example, I lift weights every single day. And that's what builds a body. Not just having a strong mental attitude. Similar with your teeth. You don't say, wow, I visualize having great teeth, cavities. That doesn't work. If you have good tea, that's probably because you have a daily habit of brushing your teeth. I'm talking to you about the body here. But this applies to your mind as well and your emotions. There are daily habits that you can have and use and apply to your body and your mind that create change and that create resistance, resistance to outside attacks, failures, and threats. This is what will make you more resilient. You do this every day, you brush your teeth because you want your teeth to be resilient from bacteria and plaque. Well there other habits you can do on a daily basis to keep your mind resilient from failures and crises. 14. A Balanced Life Leads to Resilience: So much of being resilient is about having balance in your life, not putting all your eggs in one basket. The old cliche, it is true. You'll see this so often with athletes, quite often Olympic caliber athletes, professional athletes, they put 100% of their identity into their athletic careers, their athletic successes. And they may do well. They may win the gold medal. But when it's all over, what do they have left? So many spiral into depression because they don't have personal relationships. They don't have other skills. They've really honed. They don't have other professional relationships. Quite often. They don't have spouses. So much as lacking from their life. They just had one pillar, this professional success. And if there are no more swimming mates to when and where gold metals to win, it all falls apart. The supplies to professional athletes in almost any sport. Now, I'm not suggesting you shouldn't try to become a professional athlete. What I am suggesting is, even when you do, you may put a lot more time into your athletic training than socializing, but you still need to socialize. You still need to create. It may be spending only two minutes a day doodling a drawing. But you still need creative outlets. You still need to look after your finances. Because if you don't get that goal, you come in fourth place in Olympic event. There's not a lot of ways of monetizing that for most people. So you've got to figure out a way of having your finances straight, your relationships straight, your body, healthy. All of these spheres needed to be ten to two. You need balance in your life. It doesn't mean an equal percentage of time and money and resources for every sphere in life. But there has to be some allocation of resources, your time, your money, your efforts in every sphere of life. Otherwise, things are two imbalanced, and that's when people spiral downwards. You pull that one thing away. You often see this with young people in love there. So madly in love with someone, that other person is their be-all and end-all. And then that relationship ends. So people commit suicide. Let just Romeo and Juliet touches teenagers, people of all ages, because that was the only thing going on in their life. You need balanced, not perfect balance. No-one has perfect balanced, but you need a balance in your life. You need a lot of different strengths. So on one thing doesn't work out, you have many other things going in your favor. 15. You Need Resilience No Matter What Profession You Enter: You may be thinking to jail, you're telling me about movie stars and star athletes. I'm more practical. I'm doing hard-nosed, practical, serious things. Like I want to be a doctor. Ok. I've seen this happen many, many times where someone said their whole life, I want to be a doctor, I want to be adopter. And they do well in high school. They do well their freshman year of college and now they're taking organic chemistry. And for the first time in their life they don't get straight A's, they get a C on the first test. And all of a sudden their whole world comes crashing down. They realize, wow, I get a c and this test, I'll probably get a C in the class that destroys my grade point average. Alan, never get into a good medical school. My life is over. And I've seen people completely fall apart from this. And they drink the rest of the semester away and get mediocre crates. Don't even bother applying to law school. Now, i all kids you if you are trying to go to a medical school in the United States, getting a C, inorganic chemistry is going to hurt you a lot. It is something that weeds out a lot of people, but it's not impossible, especially if it's just the first test, you can double down. You could perhaps withdraw from the course and take it again, go to summer school. You could decide to go to a medical school outside the United States if you're really serious and committed about becoming a medical doctor, there are ways. My point is if you really, really care about something, one test shouldn't deter you. It shouldn't make you just give up. That is the definition of being non-resilient. You have to have something a little tougher, something that doesn't make you just break like a twig so easily if you want to be resilient in life, but you have to decide what that is. Now, it could be that getting a C or failing Organic Chemistry was a great wake up call and made you realize that you're pursuing medicine for the wrong reasons. You're doing it for the prestige or the money. And you don't really like chemistry or biology or blood, so it might be a good thing to get you to shift. I'm not suggesting that you should never change your goals. Your goals should change throughout your life. And that should evolve and mutate in ways that help you and help more people. But just because you have one setback, doesn't mean you should give up or fail or say, I'm no good at this or it's impossible for me to become a doctor or an engineer, or an actor or anything you want to be. So this applies to every single sphere of light regardless of your profession, regardless of your goals. When it comes to finance relationships or any other part of your life. 16. Where Did Your Instructor Get His Theories About Resilience: You may be thinking, where's TJ getting this all academic intellectual exercise for him, editor, is he ever actually experienced resilience as he displayed resilience? His he had a cushy life? Or is he been in prison and come back from all sorts of heartaches and been a refugee? Well, yes, by most people's standards, I have had a cushy life. I've never been a refugee. I've never been a heroin addict. I've never been in prison by most people's standards. I have not had catastrophic, horrible things happened in my life. But life has not been smooth sailing. Let's just focus of my professional life for a moment. I always wanted to be a creator. I always wanted to be a media personality. And in my early twenties I quit a good job and became a media creator. I had my own TV show, my own radio show, my own newsletter, way back in the eighties. And I failed miserably. Now, I was never living in a car, but I wasn't that far away from living in a car, was living on friends couches. I had media failure. After media failure, that in-between media failures, I managed to get myself fired from not one but two congressional offices in Washington DC working for members of Congress. And then I started additional media companies. I started radio shows. I've been on seven different radio networks that basically all went bankrupt. I've had TV pilots that went nowhere. I had websites, news websites that started to get big. And when proof, I was by every single measure, a professional failure. I was 39 years old, had a net worth of about $400. Only reason I didn't go bankrupt is I didn't really have any assets that anyone saw worthwhile to come after. So I was about as low as you could get professionally. And yet, I didn't give up. My perception of myself. Did not waver. I thought, okay, this particular show in this format didn't work. Let me try this. Now you can make the case. I was a bit of a slow learner that I should have picked up faster. But I did try to learn. I did always make adjustments. I did try. And about 22 years ago, I started making online courses. And just like the TV talk shows and radio talk shows that fail, my online courses failed. Unfortunately, I didn't lose as much money from the online courses, but they basically failed. And failed and failed and failed not for one year or five years or ten years or even a dozen years. I basically lost money and online training. Creating content my dream for about 20 years, but I didn't lose hope. I didn't lose the capacity to figure out what's working, what isn't. Let's try more of what could work. Let's stop doing what isn't working. I kept tweaking. I kept experimenting. I kept looking for more platforms, different platforms. And, you know, eventually it worked out. Last couple of years, I've made more than a million dollars on some of the top online course platforms. And does that mean I'm some hero? No. But most people give up after the first or second or third or fifth failure. Doing something like creating content. I simply had a passion for it and a belief in myself and interested in doing it. And I kept on and I say this not, it's hard to talk about this without sounding like, oh, ROI, great, RI, wonderful. Shouldn't I be your role model? No, I'm no better than anyone else. And I've had a lot of advantages. And there's a lot of disadvantages that you might pad that I've never had, never been the victim of sexual discrimination or racial discrimination or suarez. I know any kind of discrimination. I've gotten fired plenty of times, but that was because of me, not because of any societal issue or discrimination. But I do think that since I see myself as somewhat of an ordinary person in that I fail, I fail for a lot of my life. If I can fail and fail as long as I did and still succeed. I think you can too. But again, you have to adjust strategies. I had to go down a different route. My route took me away from creating and into the realm of in-person live training. I got fairly successful with that in my late thirties. And that's been very nice livelihood and income for the last 20 years or so. But my real dream of creating content, creating ideas, sharing them with the work. That took me a long time. I'm no spring chicken. But it all worked out. So my challenge to you is to figure out, is there anything that you're really willing to work on for a year, five years, ten years, 20 years. I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me. Is there anything you are willing to really work towards printer that law? Because you're going to need resilience quite off. Now, you may be a hit very, very quickly. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, all berry successful in their early twenties and in some cases late teenage years. But that's not what happens to most people. Most people, it takes a lot of trial and error. It's more like the Thomas Edison model of lots and lots of failure, 10 thousand failures to make a light bulb before you make one. The Walt Disney, the Henry Ford Model of bankruptcy, complete financial annihilation and then starting over again and again and again before reaching success. So I hope you don't have to go bankrupt. And I hope you don't have to be 55 years old before you become successful. But I do want you to realize that if you're willing to put in the time and learn from your mistakes, success isn't guaranteed to come, but your odds will go way up. 17. Resilience Will Help You Succeed At the Highest Levels, Even With Disabilities: David boys is one of the most famous and successful attorneys and the United States. He was born with dyslexia to this day, he doesn't really read very well. Richard Branson, one of the most successful entrepreneurs the last 40 years, a billionaire, started numerous business businesses and is dyslexic. Both of these been, overcame big problems when it comes to learning. It's so much more difficult to learn in school, to do well in school if you're dyslexic, reading itself as a problem, they had to adapt, they had to adjust, they had to learn assist of learning that suited their style. And yet they each overcame this obstacle and went on to achieve wild success. They were resilient. They didn't let something that most people would consider an extreme impediment. So many people who have that problem never do anything other than manual labor jobs. I'm not knocking that the world needs manual laborers, but it's not as fun as being Richard Branson, okay. They overcame these obstacles. They didn't let it define them, and they simply found other strengths. They became better listeners. They became better speakers, they became better communicators in other ways. And they went on to achieve tremendous professional successes. That is the definition of resiliency. Even if you have something that most people would consider, suddenly that would destroy a normal career, you can still be really successful when you look at so many of the careers of wildly successful people, you'll find quite often they might have dyslexia. They may have suffered a severe illness as a child, quite often, a disproportionate amount of time. They were orphans and they overcame that. And they went on to extreme success in life. You see this with many American presidents were orphaned at a young age, didn't have a father in their life. And they over came back. They became resilient, taught them skills of resiliency and they took it through the rest of Speaking of politics, that is a field that really requires resiliency because you're attacked every single day from people telling you you're horrible, you're monster, you're evil. You deserve not to just lose your job, but be run out of the country. So if you go into a career involving politics, you had better build your resiliency. You will need it. 18. Perfectionism and Resilience Do NOT Go Together: A word about perfectionist. You will rarely see a perfectionist at the top of any field. And that's because perfectionist quite often are trying to cover up for the fact that they have insecurity. They don't want to put out something imperfect, less than perfect because they might be criticized. So they want to keep tinkering and keep tinkering. And before you know it, 20 years have gone by and that novel is still in your drawer because you're afraid to show it to anyone because it's not ready. This is not what successful resilient people do. Resilient people realize nothing is ever going to be perfect. You have to put some creation out there, get feedback, some people will criticize it. But you can learn from that and go on. Steve Jobs was like it's not even was known for being a perfectionist and that he had high standards. But there's a difference between high standards and being a perfectionist to perfectionist can never launched anything to the public eye. This may be heresy to some of you who are big Apple fans. I have lots and lots of Apple products and I have an iPhone, an iWatch, and, and this is not a product placement. But I well, remember the first iPhone came out. It was horrible. I was doing this for our, it was impossible to type on. The keyboard, was just not developed fully. It wasn't horrible, horrible device actually threw it away and went back to a palm tree. And this is way back in, I guess 2007. But Steve Jobs realized OK, we get feedback to improve the next version, and the next it gets a little bit better and you know what? The iPhone did get better and better. And now this is about my tenth iPhone. So if you are a perfectionist, if you pride yourself on being a perfectionist, I want to caution you. You have high standards, that's great. But so much of what people are doing when they say I'm a perfectionist is they're really masking insecurities. And they're showing that they are not resilient. They can't take any criticism at all. And if you wait for something to be perfect and you never put anything out, okay, you won't be criticized, but you will accomplish nothing. Yeah, you might not get criticized. The product might not fail. But the biggest failure of all is when a great idea stays inside your head or in your computer, or in your desk drawer. 19. Pick One Thing You Can Do Today To Become More Resilient: Quick exercise. If you want to build resilience, you gotta get in the habit of thinking about today. You may have had bad things happening in the past. Things you're not happy about. But I want you right now to focus on just one thing you can do today. To make yourself stronger and more resilient, you can pick out any category of what, let's say it's health for example, let's say you're someone who just has not been exercising, not eating properly, and your health is declining. Pick one thing you can do right now today to make just a little bit of improvement. It could be as simple as doing as many pushups as you can in one minute. Now, when I first started doing daily push-ups couple of years ago, I could only do two or three. Now I do 40 every single day. You might not be able to do any, but if you did half of a push-up, at least you're doing something to make yourself a little bit stronger. Now, don't start any physical plan or a new exercise routine without consulting a doctor. I'm not your doctor. But try something. It could be as simple as today. You're not going to eat dessert because you're trying to cut back on your calories. It could be as simple as you're trying to say $1, the dollar you normally spend on GAAP or I hope not cigarettes. Put that in your savings account to help build your financial portfolio, is $1 going to make you rich? No, but it's starting a new habit. And the habit of saving can help you dramatically. So I want you to share with me, if you don't mind, you don't have to if it's too personal, but I would love for you to share with me just one tiny specific thing you can do right now, even today, but right now, right this second, what's one thing you can do that you think will make you stronger in some sphere of life, mentally, emotionally, socially, building your hobbies out more effectively. What is one thing you can do right now? Please share that with us and may your fellow students in the online Q and a section right here in the platform, or go to the Facebook page I've created and link to below. 20. Resilience Is About the Present and the Future, Not the Past: Everyone enjoys spending time in the past a occasionally, I enjoy looking at an old family photo album. I went to my high school or Union. I've been to a college reunion. But when it comes to the big decision of whether you're going to be a resilient person in life or not. There is a huge distinction between how resilient people and non-resilient people look at time. Non-resilient people focus on the past. I fail here. I can't do that. This was so horrible, I can never get over it. Someone rejected me five years ago. I can never find true romance in the future. That's not what resilient people do. Resilient people don't whitewash the past, but they focus on the future. They're focused on good things they can do in the future, in every sphere of life, professionally and personally, resilient people realize no matter how many horrible things happen to you in the past. Financial ruin, loss of your legs. It doesn't matter what happens if you focus on your goals for the future. Especially if those goals relate to something bigger than yourself, a larger purpose than yourself, then you can focus on what am I going to do today to help get closer to this future. If you focus on the future and your actions today to help you accomplish your goals for the future. You just don't have that much time to wallow in the past. So please try to keep that in mind of what you're going to focus on. You want to focus on the future and what you can do today to help you get to that future. 21. The Growth Mindset Leads to Resilience: Related to this issue of focusing on the future versus the past is your mindset. There are two main types of mindset when it comes to human beings. There's the growth mindset as professor Duckworth has laid out in her research. And there's the fixed mindset. Fixed mindset people have the attitude up. You're born with this talent. You either have it or you don't. You're trained with this. You either have it or you know, your education stops here and then you do what you need to do. And it doesn't see human beings as potentials that can grow in a lot of different ways. The growth mindset, forced human being says that just because I did this in the past doesn't mean I can't do this in the future. People with a growth mindset realize they can learn anything at anytime. Now you can't become an NBA center or a star soccer or football player at the age of 50. But beyond a few narrow little fields that are dependent on specific physical, unique talents, there's almost nothing you can't do. If you decide you're going to focus on it and learn it, and devote time to it every day. The open mindset person realizes that and they do not constrain themselves. An open mindset person says, regardless of my finances in the past, I can have wealth in the future. Regardless of failed relationships in the past. I can have loving, successful, happy relationships in the future. The fixed mindset says now, this is your grade, this is your IQ. This is all the talents you have and you better stay in your place. Now, you could say that's a bit of a caricature, but in a nutshell, that is what it's all about. The biggest difference I find is that people with a growth mindset truly embraced this concept of lifelong learning. They continue to learn new subjects, new skills, new hobbies. And they grow as a person. The fixed mindset person says, okay, you graduate from high school, that's it. Or maybe you graduated from Oxford or Cambridge, but that's it. You can have a constrained, it closed mindset regardless of your wealth or education level. You can also have an open mindset regardless of your education level, you can have dropped out of school in the second grade and be an avid lifelong learner. The lifelong learners do so much better when adversity hits, lifelong learners really thrive when their industry goes kaput. When their job disappears, when their company goes bankrupt, a lifelong learner is adaptable. A lifelong learner is resilient. You can in fact coach yourself, train yourself, and teach yourself to have a growth mindset. That everything I talk about in this course is really about having a growth mindset. You probably wouldn't be in a personal development online course. If you didn't have a growth mindset, people who have a fixed mindset tend to think the personal development is a bunch of hooey. 22. Positive Thinking Beats Pessimism In the Game of Life: This next topic relates to the growth mindset issue. It's really but it's a little bit different. And it's the concept of focusing on the positive or the negative. Are you a positive thinker or you're negative thinker? Is the glass half full for you or is it half empty? Now I'm not suggesting you should walk around with rose colored glasses. Ignore danger signs, ignore a warning sign. Ceo does virus isn't really a pandemic, it won't hurt us. I'm not suggesting that. What I am suggesting is that on a daily basis, you're going to have the option of evaluating things on your own terms. And if you decide to look for the negative, you will find it. If you decide to look for the positive side of, you will find that certainly you can find positive or negative in any human being, in any job. In any relationship. Those who just focus on the negative are much less likely to become resilient. If you look at your relationships and say, Well, this person's bad as persons or lose or this person didn't respect me. Then if you do have even one relationship that works out, you may sabotage it because of this negative attitude. And if it does fail, it will confirm your negative bias. Having a positive bias, Looking at things from a positive thinking perspective can help you go to the next level. The next level you may have a business that fail, but if you focus on what you learn, it might turn your next business into a success. If you had a relationship that brought you tremendous joy for one year. But the final month was awful until you broke up. By focusing on what worked in that great one year, it can lead you to the next relationship that gets better and better. So focus on the positive. This is something you can build every day with habits, specifically cataloging something you have to feel positive about today. More about that later, when I break down daily habits. 23. Be Self Aware About Your Good Fortunes: One trait that can make you more resilient in life are little self-awareness. Now, I don't know your particular situation, but if you're able to watch me on video, whether it's your cell phone or a computer from a home or office. If you're able to have electricity, if you are able to buy this course even for a few dollars. That I do know something about you. I do know that you are better off than about 700 million people around the globe who do not have access to electricity and cell phones and the Internet. So you're already better off than 700 million people. That should give you some sense of appreciation for life is pretty good for me compared to a lot of people. Now, I know you can certainly compare yourself to others and say, Well, they've got it cushy compared to you. Everyone can do that. You can have a 400 foot yacht and compare yourself to the person with a 600 foot yacht. And make yourself feel bad. I want you to make yourself feel good in the sense that you realize you have a lot of advantages that many people don't have. And certainly, when it comes to comparing yourself throughout history, you have access to more books and more learning and more education than the richest kings and the greatest billionaires in the world had for all of human history. And until just a couple decades ago. Because if you have access to the Internet, you can access a million free books on Google alone. Not to mention, it gives helium very fact-based and helpful YouTube videos and online courses. So you've got an abundance of riches that can teach you anything you want to know. And that knowledge should empower you. That alone should make you feel more resilient to adversities in life. So a little self-aware and I realize you may have it a lot worse than I do. And I can compare myself to people who they have a lot better than I do. All of us are so much better off than most human beings who have lived in the history of this planet. And we're certainly better off and 700 million or a billion people who are alive right now. So let's not jump up and down with joy and not mocking anyone who has Last. But let's be aware of the fact that we do have things so much better than most people. And that is what can empower us to help others, help ourselves create things, and live a meaningful life. 24. Getting Fired Isn't a Problem Long term Unemployment Is a Big Problem: Chances are good that at some point you will be fired or laid off. I've never been laid off and I had been fired. Let's see. Well, many times throughout my early career now it's never fun to lose a job. But here's the difference. If you lose a job and you instantly forget about it and you start a job search the next day and you have a positive attitude. And you have relationships with people in your industry. And you're flexible and you continue to learn, you're going to land something. It might not be the same job. It might not be the same pay, might not be the same prestige, but you will in fact find a way to harness your productive energies. If you have a positive attitude and you're resourceful and you're willing to work hard. That's when you're showing resiliency. The real danger in losing your job is if you don't get a job and six months a year go by, that's when the Depression sinks in. That's when the negative thinking steps in. That's when the closed mindset comes in. That's when looking at the past dominates and you stop looking at the future because the future dims, the future seems small. All you can look at is this job that you once had. So keep in mind, it's not losing the job. That's going to hurt. It's the being unemployed feeling like you have no purpose in life. That's what's going to hurt, that's what can break you. Please realize there's a lot of adversities that can happen in life. Some of them are more unusual than others, but some you can plan on. And having a job being pulled out from you, whether because the whole industry went down or a recession or a bankruptcy or the boss just doesn't like you or maybe you weren't qualified are a good fit for the job. That's going to happen most likely at some point in your career. So you might as well prepare how to be resilient for that situation. Now. 25. Resilient People Find A Higher Purpose for Their Life: There's somebody in your country who suffered a massive car crash. They can't use their legs or perhaps their legs or their arms. There's someone in your country who suffered debilitating illnesses and injuries in a war. There are people in your country who have had their entire families killed in car crashes. And yet they've gone on to public service. They did something to really help others. This is true in every single country. One of the biggest differentiators between people who are resilient and non-resilient. Is resilient people find a higher purpose. Now it doesn't mean you have to save the world or get rid of global warming are eliminate homelessness. Although those are all wonderful things, you could be focused on your community, but focusing on something other than yourself. Focusing on something that has meaning to society, had empowers people. That gives you strength, that actually makes you resilient. And too often, I've seen that I'm sure you have two people who are a 100 prints sense selfish. It's about my money, my career, my car, they lose. One of those things, their life falls apart. So it may be that the most meaningful and important part of your day, the most important habit is time you devote to a cause or a charity, or philanthropy. Because that gives you a connection to the world that gives you a sense of purpose. And if you are struck with adversity, it may be you can't have a regular job anymore, but you can have a non-profit or some foundation where you really make the world a dramatically better place to have a much bigger impact than you did in your previous career. So keep that in mind. It's not about being selfish and having something on your resume saying you did a charity. It's about actually caring, about making some positive change, improvement in the world. Because when you're focused on that, your own troubles get much smaller in comparison. 26. You Must Decide To Be In Charge of Your Own Destiny: Do you believe in fate? Do you believe in the concept that whatever will be, will be? Do you believe in the concept that things always work out for the best? Well, many people do. You're not alone in this, but I have to tell you, these are not the beliefs of the most resilient people in the world. The most resilient people in the world believe in self agency. They believe that they create their own destiny. It's not about the fate of the gods and the heavens. Or Locke or Kismet, our karma or any of that. You have to take responsibility for your own life. That is a fundamental belief of the most resilient people in the world because when you take ownership of your life, you can't blame anyone else. No one else's fault. You are in charge of your own life. So there aren't any excuses. One problem many people have who are non-resilient is they view themselves as pawns of other people, pawns of society, pawns of forces outside their control, evil forces, and they are hapless victims. Now, again, there are victims in the world. I don't want to sound unsympathetic. But you only make matters worse if you view yourself as powerless because there's other more powerful forces in the world. Of course, there are more powerful forces. I'm not the most powerful force in the world, but when it comes to controlling my own destiny, I do believe that I am the most powerful force in the world. If you want to be resilient, you have to believe that you are the most powerful force in your world. It's not about other people, other powers, other bad guys. It is you. If things went wrong. In many cases, it's because you did something wrong. Now, obviously, you have a family member killed in a car crash. You're devastated, you didn't do anything wrong there. But in many instances in life of people have a failed relationship, a film business, a failed marriage. They get fired from a job. They look at it in terms of oh, I was the victim. You have to take ownership for what has gone wrong and learn from it so that you can be in charge of controlling your actions on a daily basis to make things better. That is the mindset of the self-reliant. It is one that involves self agency. You have control over yourself. You can't simply say, well, of course I have health problems and I have diabetes and hypertension and stroke, and I've always been 50 pounds overweight. Nothing I can do about it. You can't have that as your attitude if you truly want to be self-reliant. Because if you do have a heart attack, if you do have bad health setback, if you want to get healthier again, you ought to take ownership of it. Absolutely critical. You are in charge if you want to be resilient, you have to be in charge of you. 27. The Resilient Attitude Toward Failure: What is your tolerance for pain? How much pain can you withstand? Part of being a resilient person? Is your ability to withstand pain. I don't mean some a masochist stick way or you're holding a lighter, a flame on your own skin. I do want you to think about can you overcome the pain of failure? Nobody likes to fail. But when you look at the most successful people in the world's quite often, it's simply a function of their willingness to withstand more failures than other people. We talked about what happens in Hollywood and so many actors simply were able to go to 34 years, sometimes a tryouts every day and getting rejected until they finally got their big break on the 100th dry out or the thousandth try out. Numerous, wildly successful authors couldn't publish their verse six books. Even JK Rowling of Harry Potter fame had her manuscript rejected a dozen times before it was accepted. There's countless bestselling books that were rejected by publisher after publisher, after publisher. The greatest artist have the ability to wrap it back up. Pretty electronic days, send it back to another publisher. So much of success in life, so much of resilience in life. It's not necessarily about being the best first draft writer. Not necessarily about the best academic credentials or being the best looking are the most charming. It's the ability to simply look at failure and rejection differently than most people. Most people have a very small and limited capacity to handle rejection. You fail or get rejected two or three times and something, oh, let's move on. Resilient people say, yeah, let's move on to the next opportunity. And the thing I still care about. And if I keep racking up rejections, I'll try to learn as much as possible. But I'm not giving up. And that is something you're going to have to reach inside yourself to see, do you really care about it? Is there some higher purpose in this? Is there something here that's really central to what you're about? Because without that, yeah, it is easy to give up if you'd never really wanted to be an engineer. And if loved to your first engineering class in college, it makes sense to give up. Or at least pivot to something you do like maybe you like architecture. Maybe that's the thing for you. So it's not that you can never change paths. It's not that you can ever give up on things successful people give up all the time, but they don't give up on their higher level dreams. That's what's important. Non-resilient people don't just give up on a particular goal. They give up on the whole idea of living life at a higher level and may settle for something that is safe and boring and risk free. That's not what you want. If you're going to be a self-reliant person who really has the ability to be resilient. 28. Not Enough to Accept Failure, You Must Learn and Change from Failure: I don't want to seem like I'm glamor rising failure too much. Here's the thing about failure. If you keep failing again and again and again, and you don't learn from it, then you're just a bigger failure. There is nothing great about that. There's nothing to admire about that. That is the whole idea of video, keep failing, keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. That's not at which by the way, is not a quote from Einstein. Don't let anyone kid you. Einstein never said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. But it is still an interesting concept. And it is pithy. That is the problem for many people. Where they just try startup after startup, after startup, and they make the very same mistakes. They never get the first paying customer. That's not what I'm talking about. Part of being a self-reliant person and they're resilient person is, when you do fail, you expend tremendous energy learning from that failure so that you don't make the exact same mistake. Again, that's the key, that's art. A lot of people miss. I know some serial entrepreneurs who are my age and they've just had failure after failure every year for 30 years. That's not resilient, that's just idiocy. That's not what our goal is. You have to learn this goes into this whole pillar. We've discussed about how you have to be a lifelong learner. If you try a new business plan, if you try a new style of writing, if you try a new online course, if you try a new relationship, you have to learn from each failure to make the next one at least a little bit better. You have to tweak, you have to have iterations. That's how you grow as a person. Human beings need to grow. They need to improve. When you feel like you're growing, when you feel like you're improving, it's almost impossible not to feel good, not to feel stronger, not to feel empowered. That's what makes self-reliant people. That's what makes resilient people. Resilient is when you feel like you're getting stronger. The problems in the past, the failures, the setbacks, the emotionally devastating crises fade away because you're getting stronger. If you're not getting stronger, you get weaker. And that's the real problem. That's when you can no longer be resilient. So always be looking for ways where you can grow. Use your talents better in a fuller way. And as long as you feel growth, you will feel very satisfied with your life. And you not only will feel resilient, you will be resilient. 29. Everything Starts with Strong Daily Habits: All right, here's my philosophy in a nutshell. Repetition of daily habits is the key to resiliency. I realized that's not a sexy thing to say. It doesn't seem like the most dramatic thing in the world, but it is in fact true. You can be resilient to life's adversities. If you practice daily habits, if you do things every single day to make money, you will in fact help Your pillar related to wealth and finance. If you create something every single day, you will in fact feel better about yourself and fuel your creative powers and get better and better at that part of your life. If you spent at least sometime having a meaningful conversation with a spouse, a child, a good friend, even five minutes a day, your relationships will be in better shape. If you spend some time each day eating healthy foods and exercising, your body will be stronger if you spend some time every single day, even if it's five minutes, reading a summary of a book in an electronic format or listening to an audio version of a book, even five minutes, then you will be helping your pillar related to life long learning. You can in fact build every part of your life, your mind, your body, through daily habits. You don't have to devote a whole week, a whole month, a whole year to getting in shape. If you just focus five minutes a day, sometimes that's enough to make your body stronger than it was. If you spend just a little bit of time of all of these spheres and break the things down into daily habits. That is what will make you resilient. Here's what I've found in my own practice of helping people build stronger habits. The whole key is you have to break it down into small little bites. Things that are so quick, so easy, you can do it and it takes less time than it takes to brush your teeth and take care of your teeth. If you're like most people, brush your teeth in the morning, in the evening, floss gargle. You may spend five minutes a day on your teeth. Well, you need to spend that amount as I'm more or less on other important aspects of your life. Either tweets every single day. But I don't do it for more than five minutes a day because I hate lifting weights. But because I do it every single day, my body is so much stronger than it used to be. So this is what we're going to focus on later on in the course, is how you can really isolate one step at a time, one habit at a time, one small habit at a time that you can do on a daily basis to strengthen every sphere in your life to make yourself more resilient. 30. Please Share One Good Habit You Are Trying to Build: Okay, let's get real. I'm TJ, I'm here year you I want to know a little about you. This isn't just something I record once and never hear from you again. This is an interactive course. So I want to know who you are and I just want you to tell me one bad habit you're trying to eliminate. But I also want to know what is one good habit that you would like to build. I want you to share that with me right now. And it doesn't have to be anything embarrassing, but just talk about a basic simple habits, bad habits, good habits purchased one of each that you're trying to change. In this course, I want you to explain this, spell it out in the Q and a section of this course, or go to the Facebook page I have created to supplement this course. So please share with me now, let's make this interactive. You don't want to just sit back and watch me like you're in Netflix and this is a stand-up special because let me tell you, I'm not that funny. Some might say I'm not funny at all. But I do help people. If they work with me, I need you to work with me, so please share with me the specific habits you're trying to change. I now just one or two. 31. Here Is What Is Unique About this Course SelfieSpeak Programming (SSP): Let me be brutally honest. They are parts of this course that are going to be very traditional. Some of the information you hear will be exactly the same as what you hear in other courses on constructing positive daily habits. And some of the stuff here will be very different. It will be in fact, unique. When it comes to the similarities, pretty much every expert on habits and productivity says the same things. And that is, if you get your daily habits straight, it will pretty much take care of everything you need in the long run. If you have daily healthy habits, you'll be healthy in the long run. If you have bad habits on a daily basis as far as what you eat and drink way there'll be obese and have poor health problems in the long run. If you're highly undisciplined on a typical day and you get up late and do any work and, you know, learn new things doesn't just hurt you that day. In fact, it might not hurt you that way that David and the long run you will be harm your career just isn't gonna take off. So in that sense, this course is going to give you a lot of the same traditional insights, perspectives, and principles that you've got to really nail down your daily habits in order to build medium-term and long-term success in every other aspect of your life. Here's where this course is different. I've tried a lot of the other system and frankly, it was just too easy for me to slide back into my comfort zone doing what was easy. So it's easy for me is not having good habits on a regular basis. There are things like affirmations, which if you do them every day, yeah, they can help you have better habits. But how many of us really are going to say out loud the same affirmation every day. How many of us are really going to know how to do NLP everyday or neural associative conditioning. One of the offshoots of that. How many of us are really disciplined enough to do that regularly, to build new habits you might be, but I wasn't. I needed something that was frankly easier, something that would work for lazy people like me. And that's why I've devised this system, the selfie speak programming method. And this method, you tell yourself what you want, what you want your habit to be, what you want to do and what not to do, but you only have to do it once until you change your mind about a new habit. But the key is you are recording it on your cell phone. And then all you have to do is a push of a button to listen to it once a day. And it can be a short audio. And the beauty of audio is you can be on a car, train, plane bus for a walk. And Hall here too, and he's listening, so it's so much easier, it's passive. Now, important to note this is not subliminal advertising. The evidence on that is somewhat sketchy. This is you're actually talking to yourself, telling you what you want to do. That's what this system is all about. Enjoy. 32. Habit Principles Aren't Enough You Need a System that Doesn't Rely on Willpower or Discipline: You and I haven't met? Most likely, but I'm pretty sure you're not a bad person. You're not a horrible person. You don't have horrible character flaws. You're probably somebody like me and that you can be lazy sometimes I know I can be really lazy to give you an exam. I'm so lazy, I love shrimp. I don't even eat shrimp anymore if I had to peel the shrimp, I've just that lazy. So even though I am a personal development expert and trainer, I gotta tell you, I don't have any more inherent willpower or self-disciplined than you do. That's why I created this system to make it easy for lazy people like me and perhaps u2. So please keep this in mind if you're fighting something and it just seems so incredibly difficult, chances are you're going down the wrong alley. You've got to focus yourself in areas that make you feel better, that make you happier. Now, in the short run, not eating a second piece of chocolate cake or a second helping of ice cream doesn't feel as good as getting to eat whatever you want. But in the long run, it does actually make you feel a lot better. So that's what this course is all about, is really helping you. And not because you just heard some guru say this are the principle and act my principal. You probably don't need more principles and concepts of what a good habit is. You just need a system to make it easier for you to do it in a way that doesn't require willpower or self-discipline. And that's what this is all about. 33. Start Your Day With a Quick, Easy Habit: I like to start my day off with easy wins. It may sound silly, childish, but psychologically, it's just easier to get going in the day when there is some initial momentum. Oh, here's a habit I was trying to fulfill and I did it. So for me it's as simple as first thing in the morning. Have a tall glass of water. Now I'm not going to tell you you must have eight glasses of water per day because there isn't any actual evidence that that's some magic number. But I've never seen any research to suggest that not starting your day with a glass of water wouldn't be a good idea because it helps give your body back water. It needs a camps hydrate you. And it's keeping you from putting a lot of sugary substances and perhaps a lot of junkies, cereals in your body at that moment. So that's a simple thing, easy to do now while I'm making coffee in the morning, Yes, I do make coffee. I tried to do a quick number of push-ups every single day, at least 20 simple things, easy things, but it just gives me this sense of wow, I'm already accomplishing something today. Now you don't have to do push ups. You don't have to drink water. But what I'd ask you to do is look for the quick, easy win for a basic habit when you get out of bed. And it will just start your day down the right path. As far as accomplishing all other habits you want to put to use. 34. 7 Mix It Up Easy Habits Next to Hard Habits: When it comes to building new habits, I do recommend that you mix it up as far as the degree of difficulty. For example, one of my daily habits is to spend 60 seconds coming up with ideas. How hard is that? It's not too hard. Believe me, I have lots of dumb ideas and I'm only going to spend one minute. And often I might only write one sentence. But still it gets created. Juices flowing, stimulates thought. Sometimes something that seems like a dumb idea today, three months from now will morph into something really meaningful. But the point is, it's really simple. I tell myself that I'm gonna do it. I do it. I give myself a little checkmark on myself over the day that I did it. And it just gives me another sense of accomplishment of I am someone who has habits, who can keep my habits then when I have more complicated daily goals like working for a four hour block of time, creating online courses like this one. It's just easier to do those big ones when you have the little ones already done in checked off. 35. Full Disclosure! Let's Get Real: A word of caution. This SSP method, the selfie speak programming method, doesn't instantly solve every single problem. There are a lot of personal development experts out there who promise the moon and set people up for disappointment. I don't wanna do that. All I can tell you is that the vast majority of the time when I tell myself, here's what you're gonna do, here's your habit, here's what I want you to do on a regular day, TJ and I listen to it every day and I try to track it. And I'm realistic, I make real progress to dramatic progress. I've lost 35 pounds doing this. But it doesn't instantly do it for everyone on every single thing. Now there's a huge debate in psychological circles over how much time it takes to build a new habit. Some say two weeks, some say three weeks, some say 65 days. There's a whole range. I can tell you with some habits. I tried to build it really. Just saying it once and recording it. It just becomes a habit the very next day. Other things are not as easy. So I not proud of this, but I'll tell you what my personal flaws is. Even though I'm an easygoing person, most people would consider me polite, well-mannered, for some reason on the tennis court. All that goes out the window. I'm throwing my rack and I'm yelling, screaming, cursing, and I'm embarrassed about it afterward. There's just something about being on the tennis court, bringing out my competitive juices. It's not pretty. So I actually have in my own selfie speak programming on a daily basis that I am relaxed and happy on the tennis court at all times that I don't throw my racket, that I don't yell, scream, curse, that. I'm happy I enjoy it and I visualize winning shots even if I just hit a bad one. So I'm telling myself all the things I want to do on a habitual basis. But am I perfect yet? No. Did it instantly solve a problem? No. Yeah, I no longer throw my racket. I think in part because of myself. He speak programming. I don't have meltdowns this much. But two, I still yell and get angry. Yeah, I do. So I want to really be upfront with you. Full disclosure. I do think this method is faster, easier, simpler, cheaper than any other system in the world when it comes to building new habits for you, but it's not going to instantly overnight snap of a finger, change every single bad habits you have.