Succeeding as a First-Time Manager | Phil Cicio | Skillshare

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

12 Lessons (1h 47m)
    • 1. Course Introduction

    • 2. The Leap

    • 3. Understanding Leadership/ Part 1

    • 4. Understanding Leadership/ Part 2

    • 5. Understanding Leadership/ Part 3

    • 6. Understanding Culture

    • 7. Labels in the Workplace

    • 8. I vs You- Having Difficult Conversations

    • 9. Giving Feedback

    • 10. Giving Effective Praise

    • 11. How to Say No

    • 12. Understanding Personality Styles

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About This Class

As a first-time manager or new supervisor, you are probably looking for ways to improve your communication skills and be a great team leader, so you can create highly engaged and empowered team members.

I was in your shoes once. Through personal development and trial and error, I learned how to lead my team with tremendous success and identified those particular managerial tactics that worked for me and others I taught this to. In this course, I will share these proven methods with you.

Whether you were promoted into a manager role internally or you are a first-time manager in a new workplace, this course will teach you how to take action and become a better leader.

You will be introduced to a set of skills and techniques that every great leader owns. You will have the opportunity to learn how to communicate in an engaging and effective manner, to motivate people; and how to work with different types of personalities. The goal is to show you can create an inspiring team environment.

You will be provided with interactive exercises that will help you understand leadership and master tactics to use in specific work scenarios.

After completing this course you will be able to find your managerial path, shape your work environment, motivate your team, face challenges with the utmost confidence, and most importantly, be the leader that your team will be happy to follow.

So it’s time to take the leap and dive into how to become a fantastic leader for your team.

Meet Your Teacher

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Phil Cicio

Personal & Professional Coach and Traine


Phil Cicio, author and founder of SUCCESS thINC, is an authority in the area of personal growth and professional development as well as business leadership training and consulting. With 20 years of experience and certified as a High Performance Coach, Phil has dedicated his life to helping individuals; teams and organizations create the results they want. His company SUCCESS thINC helps individuals and business owners in all areas of practice get better results in performance and profitability through comprehensive personal growth and leadership training programs. Phil works with individuals, small businesses and large corporations, helping them achieve results through improving the results of their people. Phil offers a number of programs both in person and online, in half-day, ful... See full profile

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1. Course Introduction: Hi, welcome to succeeding as a first time manager or supervisor. My name is Phil Chief Joe and I want to thank you for coming inside and taking a look at this course because I know the challenges that you face when it comes to managing people are supervising people, especially if these people were a part of a team that you were on previously and you got promoted into this new position and now you're managing those people. So I know that perspective, but I also understand the perspective of coming in as a new manager with a team that's already been together and they have sort of a culture and now you're injected into it and maybe need to even change their culture. So from either of those two perspectives, you're gonna get a ton of value by enrolling in this course. So thank you for being here. Was once like you, right? So I know some of the things that worked for me and some of the things that didn't work for me. When I was promoted into a management position and I was folded into a management position and I was on the team right that now I'm managing. So had a lot of friendships, had been there already for over 15 years. So you can imagine the close friendships that I had with some of the people now that I had to get to do things because I needed them to do it. And some of the challenges I faced were that I had to get them to stop doing some things that I was actually doing right. You've probably been in that situation to where, you know, maybe you were doing certain things when you are on the team, like maybe once in awhile, pop and I'm to social media or texting somebody, you're using your phone and now you're supervising or managing the people that are on your team and you have to tell them not to do that, which can be really difficult because there'll be looking edgy sort of across. I'd say, wait a second, last week when you were on the team, you are doing it and malice then it's not okay. So there's a lot of things that have to deal with and being a supervisor or being a manager is, you know, there's a lot of complexities there with communication, motivation, productivity, just delegation, getting things done, and maintaining some, some sense of leadership and some sense of respect is going to be important too. And all of these things are quite the challenge on and not having the training, like I didn't have the training can make it such a greater challenge. But you're here now and I'm gonna give you some of the tools and the tips and the techniques that I used to become better and, and to become a great manager. And hopefully I can help you become a great manager as well. I'm not here to tell you that pat on my back that I'm a great manager. However, what we did do when I took over in that role has really changed the culture of the department and the culture of the actual large part of the organization ended up really succeeding at a very high level. And so I'm going to share with you real-world ideas here, real-world tools and things that I used, not theory, not something that just came out of a book. If it did come out of a book, I tried it and then if it worked, I'm going to share it with you. If it didn't work, I'm either going to tell you these things didn't work for me or I'm not even going to share them with you. Okay, so you're gonna get some real-world, real-life experiences, a supervisor from me and a manager from me. And hopefully this will resonate with you. And you'll be able to apply some of these things right away and become better yourself, right? That's what it's all about. So again, thank you for joining into on each of these lessons. I'm going to try to provide you with some tools and tips, right? But I'm also going to provide you with maybe a worksheet that you'll be able to download. So in many of the sessions, there'll be a downloadable worksheet that you'll be able to do some work on so that you have it available for you. Then you can put that in your drawer next to you. And when you have a situation, when it comes a delegation, maybe you pull that out or when you need to motivate somebody, maybe can pull up that worksheet and see what you did there. Or there's plenty of things that you're gonna be able to learn here, but you want to actually get those onto paper, onto your computer so that you have something to go back to. And based on the learning and any experience with me that you'll be able to use on a daily basis. Okay. So I don't want to spend a lot of time here. This is just to kind of welcome intro video. And there's going to be the ability for you to interact with me too. So I want you to understand that you can reach out. And so through the platform that we're going to be on, certainly you'll be able to go in there and I will do my best to respond as quickly as possible so that if you have any questions or comments, we can still interact here, okay? But let's not waste any more time here on the welcome in the intro video. Let's get right into this, and let's get into the very first lesson. Okay, I'll see you on the other side. Yeah. 2. The Leap: Welcome inside my course on succeeding as a first-time manager supervisor. I'm excited to work with you and I wanted to just mention one thing before we get started. So you understand throughout this entire course, you have to be conscious and pay attention to your company policies, procedures, and any legalities that your company might have in case some of the teaching and I have my go against that. So make sure you understand those policies and of course, any of your state regulations when it comes to employment law and things like that, want to make sure that you're aware of those OK. Because this is going out to people literally all over the country and maybe some other areas around the world in every state and every company has its own policy. So I just wanna make sure that you understand those and you follow those guidelines as you're going through this course with me. All right, so our first lesson is taking the leap, right? So taking leap from actually being the person who was working to becoming the manager, supervisor that has to get other people to do the work now for you. And so taking the leap is difficult, right? And here's the reason why it's difficult. First of all, It's hard to let go of being the expert at what you do, right? And and so we want to still hold on to that. And it's important to hold on to that if you're actually still physically doing that work as you're as you're supervising people or as you're managing them. But we start to let go. So this slight transition away from being the expert and not losing expertise, but being the expert is transitioning away. And as you go up into the management and I guess rungs of the ladder. So supervisor, manager, middle manager, executive management, you start letting go more and more of the actual expertise and the actual doing of the work. And then ultimately if your goal is to become a, a leader in the essence of really leading an organization, you're no longer really doing any of that work. You're just getting a whole bunch of really great people that you trust to do the work and you kinda get their way and let them do that. But since we're starting at this first step, right, I just want to understand that transition, right? And a big part of that transition for you is going to be to gain credibility as you leave the actual doing and start managing and supervising other people to do the work. Here's the thing that I found when I took the leap. I really leaned on lay expertise. And many of you are probably a real expert at what you do. You've probably really good at what you do, and that's why you've got this promotion, right? And a lot of supervisors and managers get promoted because they were the best at what they did. And that gives you credibility, right? I call that street cred. Now, you're suddenly in this position and and people look up to you because you were so good at what you did and they're excited about that. And for me, people were really excited about that. I was working in the automotive industry. I was an auto mechanic for most of my life and I was pretty good at it. So when I was very productive, we were in a productive environment. You had to be efficient and productive. And so I was hitting all those all those marks. And so when I moved into the role of managing people, I had street cred I had the credibility at first because, oh, Phil was really productive, use efficient. He was good at what he did, so he'll help us become better. And that was all great. But I gotta tell you, it wasn't long before people really didn't care so much about how good I was at what I did. You know what people cared about now? How good I was at helping them to have a better work-life, right? And also work-life balance. And so they didn't really care that I was good at fixing cars anymore. Okay. That was fine. But that wasn't what they wanted anymore. What they wanted was somebody who could really help them have a better work-life, right? Make things easier for them, gets obstacles out of the way, help them be more productive, helped them make more money, helped them to have a little bit more time freedom or work-life balance. They wanted to make sure that they had the right tools and the resources, and they had somebody who really listened to them, paid attention. Somebody would go and fight the fight to upper management, right? They wanted that voice for them. So there were lots of things that they wanted besides the fact that I was good at what I did. So this is why we talk about that transition away from being the expert, leaning on that. I lean on that for a little while and I started to realize after a while that people didn't care about that. So lean on it for a little while if you just entered into this space of supervising. But don't make that your crushed for life if you will. Okay, so let's talk about the transition because the transition is going to be a part of some of the lessons that we're gonna be talking about as we move forward. Ok, so in this transition, there may be a few things that you need to understand. One is credibility, right? Gain credibility outside of you being the expert. And how do we not lose credibility through that process too? So we need to transition from being a team player to somebody who's credible, leading somebody. Okay, so there's one area of transition that has to happen. The other error transition is going from, hey, I'm friends with all of you, possibly write or many of you. And now I'm leading you and how did you transition into that right where where we have people that were really close to an friendly with and now we have to manage them, right? And maybe have to have difficult conversations with them. And we have to transition away from just being a team player or a team mate and now being there their supervisor or their, or their manager. And the challenge here is that the friendships that we have and you've probably heard me anytime where you can't be friends with the people that you lead. And there might be some value in that, there might be some of that, but that's fine if you've never met these people in your new manager. But I would bet that many of you on this particular course are friendly with the people that you're now going to be managing. And so this can be really difficult, right? Because It's hard to, to tell somebody that you really like that they need to step it up or they need to knock it off and those kinds of things. So there's that transition and we're going to talk about how to do that because we don't want to lose our friendships, but we also have this fine line between managing people and being there friends. And that is probably the most difficult thing when you get promoted up through, you know, from a team into actually managing the team. Now, that can be the most difficult transition, okay? Other transitions are just, you know, becoming a different, you write, you know, you have to grow into a different human being now right here at a different level, the things that you say now really matter, right? The impact that it can have both positively and negatively, you know, could be helpful or it could also hurt you, right? So we've got to make sure that we understand that transition in and being a different level of u, right? So what does that mean? You have to come in every day and you need to show up, right? You can't just not show up. Everyone's watching you, right? People watched their leader and their eyes are on you and they're paying attention. And all the things that you do and say, right, can have an impact, especially this body. This body has a huge impact, right? Because it's showing everybody what you're really thinking about them. So these are some of the transitions that we have to be aware of and we're going to be talking about them throughout the entire course here. Ok. So again, if you have any questions or comments, please just type them in below and I'll respond as soon as I cam. Alright, so I'll see you in the next lesson. 3. Understanding Leadership/ Part 1: Alright, in this lesson we're gonna talk about understanding leadership, right? Because ultimately you're leading people, okay? And we have to understand what that actually means. How do we lead people? And so I want to ask yourself this question. Why would anyone want to be led by you? Think about that and let that one sink in for a moment, right? Because remember, you're leading these people. Why would your people want to be led by you? This is a really good question to ask yourself. I want you to really think long and hard about that. Maybe you could just pause the recording and think about that and, and take a moment and write down what are some of the reasons why anyone would want to be led by you? And if you're drawing a blank right now, are hey, there's some things that you need to work on. And then hopefully throughout the rest of this course, you'll start to understand some of the ideas because you might need to develop some new character traits and some new skill sets, right? That would help answer that question, right? Do they trust you, either inspired by You? Do they value your ideas? Do they know that you're going to take them someplace that that would be better than where they are right now as far as their work environment goes and the things that they do. So remember, you need to ask yourself this question. Why would anyone want to be led by you? Okay? So you can think about that if you don't want to turn off the video right now, that's fine. We'll keep moving forward, but I want that to kinda marinate for a while in your head. And when you're done with this lesson before you go into the next lesson, please take the time to write that one. Oh, okay. Write it out and figure it out and think about it, meditate on it, whatever you need to do, but take the time to answer that question before you get into the next segment. Now what I'm gonna do is I'm going to put up several quotes here on the screen, okay? And I'll read them to you so too. So we can go through these together. But I want you to really think about these quotes. And then I want you to think about, hey, which one resonates the most with you. And then I'll share with you some of the ideas that I have on each of these quotes, but I want you to think about which one resonates with you the most. And then also think about this app for this lesson. And why does it resonate with you if you are going to be on a live call with me, right? I want you to share with me, hey, why does this particular quote resonate with me? Okay, so that's what I'd like you to be able to think about and then share. And here's the goal. Once you've identified the one quote that resonates with you the most, I want you to, in the chat role below here, type in 1-2-3-4-5, whichever one you choose, right? Why specifically this one resonates with the US really great idea to have this in the kinda community, Chad here so other people can understand why these resonate with you. Now there isn't one right or wrong Quote. They're all just random quotes that I've selected that I really like when it comes to leading other people. And I just wanted to get, I want to get an idea from you which ones resonate with you the most and why they resonate with you, okay, so I'll share them with you now. So number one, ok. This is do not go with the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Now, think about this one right now, right? Why would anybody do that? That sounds hard, right? To have to go down a path that doesn't exist. But most people, ultimately, they go down the easy path and that is not going to work for you as a new manager or supervisor. And what do I mean by this? The reason why it's not going to work for you is because that's probably what the previous supervisor or manager did and this is why you're in the new role. The reason why you are in a new role is because people want you to think of new ideas, think outside of the box, Create a new path, right? Don't follow the same old patterns because it's same old patterns are ultimately what I call organizational paradigms. And many of us have our own personal paradigms. I know that you do right? These are things that their beliefs that control us, right? The controls to do things whether they service or not and we do them now some may serve as some may not. But let's talk about things that don't service. There's certain behaviors that you possess that do not serve you, but she'd do them anyways, and that's what a paradigm is, a controlling belief. Okay. And so you have these if I was to follow you around for a day or two and video record some of your behaviors. I report back to you that those particular behaviors are not serving you and you would be like, yeah, I know Phil, I know they're not served me, leave me alone. I've been doing this for a long time and this is the way I do things. And I would say, but if you did it this way, I promise you you'd get a better result would be easier for you to be more productive and you'd be like, I know, leave me alone because you are controlled by that paradigm. Okay, so the point is, there are also organizational paradigms and when you get into a new position of supervising others, are managing others. You have to be aware of these. Some of them are already controlling you and your team. Some of the, some of these things you've been doing for a long time. So the idea is this, you enter into it and when you first got into this organization that you're in, you probably looked around and said, why don't we do this like this, this doesn't make sense to me. That doesn't make sense to me. You saw these things that I call organizational paradigms. And somebody said to you, well, you know what, we've been doing it like this for a long time. That's why so just get used to it, right? And it might boggle your mind because you know, that is a better way, but most people just say, OK, and they can form, they get in line and they do that thing and that organizational paradigm, even though it's not serving, now, extends to the next person, the next person, and the next person. And we all find ourselves doing the things that we know we shouldn't be doing, but we do them anyways, even if they don't serve us well, really great managers, right? What they do is they challenged those paradigms. They challenge all organizational paradigm. So you're gonna need to do this since your first-time supervisor or manager, you're going to have to step back, look at all the things that people are doing. That they don't even know why they're doing, but they're doing it anyways. And you're going to need to find ways to get them to realize it. This is not the best way to do it, right? And so there's all kinds of these let me share with you that I've shared with, you know, probably thousands of people or tens of thousands of people at this point. That's really kind of intriguing, right? So there was a beer company, I'd read this story. So this isn't an older stories of beer company that is exist today. I'm not going to share which one. And they were going from this isn't the 19 hundreds early 19 hundreds there going from Um, you know, bottling beer to canning beer. And so this was a big transition for them and they opened up a plant that can the beer. And because of the canning process now they were able to expand their marketplace, right? Go out to further locations. Remember early on bottles used to break when you are traveling too far because the suspension systems in the trucks weren't as good as they are today and and so they had difficulty expanding their marketplace. But now with canning your able to expand quite a bit. And during this period of time, this expansion, the current logistics manager that was responsible for getting the beer to these various locations geographically. And I was struggling because they had a process in place okay. That didn't seem to work very well. And now with the expansion of the geographical area, it was even more difficult for him. So he was sharing this with another group of managers from previous generations that we're at this kind of event that they were having to, you know, because they were opening up the plant. He said, I don't know how I'm going to do this. You know, I have to get the beer out to these for these locations. And the way that we do it is just so it doesn't make any sense. And so they asked him How you doing this and he says, well, the process that's in place right now is that on Mondays we load up the trucks, right. And we deliver the beer out to the furthest location is geographically so as far out in the marketplace as they can. And then on Tuesday come in a little bit closer on Wednesday that come in a little bit closer on Thursday and Friday, they're making just local deliveries are in real close and they just do local delivers on Friday. And he said what happens is on Friday if I have a challenge, a client that needs something that's far away, all of our trucks are local and it's very difficult for me to get out to them and serve them. I have to wait til Monday and that's not really effective. And he said on Monday when all the trucks arrive at the furthest locations, if I have a client who need something whose local I've no trucks locally to do that, so they have to wait. Right. And so just a real big challenge. And so these folks that he was talking to said, Well, why don't you change the way you do this? He says, Well, I've been trying to, I've talked to leadership, so managing up, which we're gonna talk about as well. And I've talked to leadership and they say to me, Well, it's always been done this way. So figured out the previous manager did it this way and the previous marriage before that did it this way. So just figure it out. They figured it out. And so he's trying to figure it out. Well, the previous manager was there who was talking to said, you know what, I was using that process and it was difficult for me and we were doing about half the business you're doing today. So I tried to challenge it and no one would listen to me either. I didn't push hard enough maybe, and now you're stuck with it. And so he said, I don't know how you're able to do this. He said, I don't either, but they told me You could. So here I am stuck with this. Well, there happened to be the manager previous to that manager that actually was there and he said, you know, I'm the one who instituted that process, that policy. And they said, Why would you do that? This is the dumbest idea ever, not to offend you, but this is, this isn't a very bright idea. And he said, whoa, hold on, it was a different time when I was in charge, he said, look, I was in charge during the war. And during the war we had a fuel shortage and we weren't able to use the trucks. The trucks were powered by fuel and we didn't have any fuel, so we would go out of business if we didn't deliver B or so, the only way to stay in business was to deliver the beer with horse and buggy like the old days. And so he said I had to come up with a new idea. And so I decided to do was we'd load up the buggies and we get the horses and we'd send them out to the furthest locations geographically on Monday. On Tuesday, we come in a little bit closer on wins, a little bit close. We said by Thursday and Friday, especially, he said those horses were so tired that we kept them local just doing local delivery so that we wouldn't kill these poor animals, right? They were exhausted from going out so far. He said so on Friday we kept them local, tried to help them, you know, just do local deliveries and then we'd rest him over the weekend. And when they get their energy backup on Monday, we send them back out to the furthest location is geographically, we start off with a start that process over again. And you looked at both of these managed, he said, are you still using horses and buggies or you back to using trucks because if you're back to using trucks, she's using an old process. And of course, they were using trucks, but they were using an old process that worked for that particular reason, but no longer served and nobody really challenged this process enough. And so people get stuck generationally. I mean, this was three generations of leadership, right? Doing things. We don't know why we're doing them, but we do them. Anyways, if you want to be effective, you have to look for those, identify these organizational paradigms or departmental paradigms or personal paradigms, right? And challenge those. If you challenge those, I promise you, you'll probably find better ideas, either yourself or your team. And guess what? Again, we go back to making people's lives better. Imagine how easier this manager's life will be after he's challenged that and now come up with his own or her own process, right. So the goal is, can you make my life, my work life better? Well, look for those paradigms that people are frustrated by things that don't serve the department anymore, don't serve the organization. Challenge those, Find a way to come up with a new process and make everyone's life better. 4. Understanding Leadership/ Part 2: All right, now we'll go on to quote number two and I remember the one that resonates with you, right? The one that resonates with the most, you're going to identify why it does, write down why it does, and then you're going to add that to the chat roles so that I can see why it resonates with you and other people that are on the course. They can see it as well, okay? Alright, so second quote, alright, leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. I love this one. Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he or she wants to do it. So why is it this particular quote? So powerful? Alright, well I'll tell you why as powerful for me. Because, you know, we want to get our own things done right. We need to get other people to do things for us and for the team and for the organization. But as a manager or supervisor, it is exhausting trying to get people to do things right. I don't want to have to get people, do you think I want people to want to do things? And so we have to understand the difference between getting somebody to do things and getting them to want to do it. And in what our future lessons we're going to talk about how to get people to want to do think. But let me give you quick insight here as to why people want to do things in the first place. First of all, they need to know why they're doing it, okay? Why are they doing this in the first place? People need to know why, right? It's going to give them some sort of emotional connection, right? It can't just be because they're earning money or they're getting benefits, there has to be a greater y. Secondly, people do things okay? If they feel like they're part of something right? Where they feel like they have some choice in the matter or control. And one of the key things to remember is that people work harder for that which they create. And so if they feel like it's something that they're creating it, it's their idea. There's a better chance they're going to work on it without you having to tell them to do it. They're gonna wanna do it, right? You want to do things that you've come up with, your ideas. You want to express your ideas. If you have a really great idea, is just waiting to be expressed through you, right? And so this is important. We need to understand how do we express our ideas through us? And when we are going to express an idea through us, it's motivating to us. It's a self-motivated and we do things because we want to do it, not because somebody else wants us to do it. Okay, so I really love that quote. I want to see why you might love that quote. Alright, the next quote is number three. Never tell people how to do things, tell them what to do, and they'll surprise you with their ingenuity. Now, this one here is interesting because I found in working with many managers, okay, some not so effective. They don't really care what their people thought, okay, they only cared about what they thought. And I learned really early on that I didn't have all the answers. As a matter of fact, I had no answers, right. I went from working on cars right. To now managing people and the only things that I knew were the things that I had studied because I had been studying for quite some time on leadership communication, those kinds of things. I've read hundreds of books by the time I got my first position. And so I had ideas, right? But I never really tried them, so I wasn't really sure if they would work or not. So I wanted to implement all these ideas. And one of the things that I learned was that when you tell somebody that this is what we're going to do, right? If they respect you, admire you, inspired by you, they're probably run with it. Ok? But more often than not, your idea may not be the best idea. And I found out very quickly that my idea wasn't always the best idea. And here's the thing that I didn't realize. There were some pretty smart people on the team that had really great ideas at the eater came up with on their own or maybe they were from a different organization and came in and had the idea but never express them. They suppress their ideas. And the reason why they suppressed through ideas is because the previous supervisor before me, okay. It was kind of a tyrant and really maybe made people feel inferior or made people feel like they couldn't speak their mind or they couldn't come up with an idea. So people just sat there and let him come up with all the ideas. And I think that's why this place was going down the tubes. Okay. Because the only ideas being expressed were his and they weren't very good. I don't want to just express my ideas. If you have five people on your team or ten people on your team, or a 100 people on your team, wouldn't you want all those minds to come together and come up with ideas? Why just use your own? Now maybe yours ends up being the best idea. But I want to be able to choose from multiple ideas. And this is why it's so important to recognize that people have things within them that you may not know and they may not even know exist until you help pull them out of them. The greatest managers are able to extract ideas from people, extract potential from people that they don't even know exists. And so why would you want to do that, right? I mean, you're gonna put all this effort in and only come up with your ideas when all these people might have great ideas. And of course, if it's their idea to work harder for, Based on that last quote We just talked about. So think about this. I'll share an example. Ok, so this is a really great story and it's an older story. So again, like the Beer story, I, I probably got this out of the same sort of framework or book or lessons that I learned. There was a hotel, high-rise hotel in New York City, and it was an older building and it was time now to put an elevator in the building and it this was mandated by the city. And so anything I think over five stories had to have an elevator. And so now I think that's probably mandated all over the place. And so this hotel owner need to put an elevator shaft in the hotel and was concerned about how that would impact the rooms, right? Because you might have to knock out a bunch of Romans to do that, or at least portions of rooms to do that. And rooms generate revenue. So revenue would decrease in order to do this. And so before he decided to demolish this, these rooms and put an elevator shaft in, he wanted to make sure that he did it in the most cost-effective way, but also that had the least impact on revenue. And so he hired a bunch of architects and engineers to come in and try to assess how to do this in a way that would not impact the financial, you know, have a high financial impact on that hotel chain. And so all these people came in and they were working for months and months and the blueprints and ideas and all of these people that were executives in the suits are all in there. And after a few months, according to the story, this gentleman was walking in to work and he happened to be the maintenance man. He was in charge of all the maintenance on the building. And he stopped to these all these people at all these papers out and these blueprints. And he said, Look, you've been here for three months trying to figure out how to do this and nobody's even asked me. He said, I've been here longer than any employee and I've been in every single corner, every single nutrient crania, this building. I might have some ideas that might be helpful if you're willing to listen. Well, it turns out that one of the executives was open enough to listen and he said, sure, you know, tell me what your thoughts are. Now. Maybe he was just placating the guy. I don't know, but he was opened enough to let him say what he thought. He said, well, you know, why wouldn't you remember this is before this happened? I'm going to share with you before you've ever seen any of these this man who was the maintenance guy basically fix the toilets and stuff like that said. Why wouldn't you just put the elevator on the outside of the building? Now, mind you, elevators were never on the outside of the buildings previous to this was the first kind of idea. And now you see this everywhere. There's elevators on the exterior buildings all over the place and people think, oh, that looks so cool, right? And maybe it does is, you know, aesthetically pleasing and you get a view when you're going up and down the elevator from, because it's all glass surround and maybe that's all cool now, right? But the real reason The first one was installed this way was because somebody who people never even asked had a really great idea that now changed the entire idea of elevators, right? We didn't have to ruin any of the rooms. We did it on the outside. And so you just never know what your people might know, right? So don't be afraid to let them express themselves, right? Really great managers aren't the people that suppress people and hold them down there, the ones that express them. If you want to get to the next level of leadership, whatever that might be in your organization. I gotta tell you this, you've got to help pull people up, right? Because you can't go up if you don't have anybody to come up and fill your spot, your goal is to develop other people into great managers and supervisors so you can get to the next level. How do you do that? Let them be expressive. Don't suppress them. Most managers that I have found are suppressing people because they're worried about their job. They don't want anybody to take their job. My goal was to get my person my direct direct report to take my job. Why would anybody want to do that? Well, there's two things. It increases my stock value, my personal stock value if I'm able to grow other people and also gives me an opportunity to go up or go somewhere else. And that's exactly what happened to me. So I ended up leaving the company, started my own company and the person who was my direct supervisor and uptaking my spot. Okay, that is key. So remember, you're always trying to find what people might have inside them that they may not even know that they have and pull that out of them if you want to be effective as a manager. 5. Understanding Leadership/ Part 3: All right, don't forget whichever one resonates. Who do write down why it resonates with you and enter it in the chat row. Ok, so our fourth and final quote, I love this quote as well. Of course, I love all of these quotes. So you'd probably say, I've probably said that on every quote, but I love all these clothes and that's why I selected them. But this one is the ultimate measure of a man, is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy, look, it's easy to manage things when things are going good and profitable and you're productive and all your people are good and nobody is giving you a hard time. There's no difficult people or negative. It's really easy to be a manager. Supervised people when things are going good, but when things are challenging, and that's when you really need to step up and show up. And you know what, when things get challenging, oftentimes the work shows up in people and I don't want that for you. Alright, so we have to be prepared for that. We're going to talk about how to maintain really good leadership presence and a good composure and good emotional intelligence throughout this course. But right now let's talk about this quote and how powerful it really is, right? Think about this. I use this analogy so you can understand the difference between the manager that is in control and the manager that's not in control when it comes to challenge controversy and things like that. Look, when a picture, this picture, a robo. Okay. It just a small little rowboat, maybe one passenger rowboat. And it's out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and there are 15 or 20-foot swells are waves, right? Can you imagine what that would look like being in that row boat, right? You'd be like almost tipping over and be like really scary. Well, many managers when there's a big challenge, look like that. That is how they look, right? They're running around like a chicken with your head cut off. They're all frantic and everything. And I said earlier in this course that everyone is watching you and everyone is watching your body. And if your body is saying I am losing my mind and I'm going to flip over and this rowboat, you are not willing to be able to manage people with that kind of expressive attitude through your body. People are going to actually follow that lead. If you're losing your mind, they're gonna lose their mind. If you're not in control, they're not going to be in control. So it's really important to stay in control. So now think about the type of manager that isn't a crisis and it looks like this. Now imagine you are in an aircraft carrier in that same Atlantic Ocean with 20-foot swells, you'd be just cutting through those just nice and easy, right through all of those. That's colonists, right? That's what we need to express. That's what need people need to see when you are managing through Crisis, challenge, change, controversy, all of those things, right? And so can you maintain that level of composure? Well, you can you can you just get a, get a hold of your mental capacities, right? Your mental attitude, right? So our mind is really cunning. Bear in mind works in really a powerful way. The mind controls the body. And so what you are thinking about shows up through your body. And so we want to understand this process which I'm going to share with you in one of the lessons coming up here, how your mind controls your body and how to make sure, right, you are in control of what's going on in your mind so that your body shows up in a controlled way. Because most people unfortunately, are just reacting. There are managed as a supervisor reacting to everything that's going on in another meeting, a challenge customer who's upset a project that's failing or, or a budget that got blown out of the water and they just reacting right there like the robo. That is because of the way that they think. If you change the way that you think and you set a new intention for your thoughts. I promise you, this body will show up just like the aircraft carrier cutting through those 20-foot swells. Alright, so those are your four quotes. One of them resonates with you more than the rest. I know they probably all resonate with you. They all resonate with well, but I want you to choose the one that does resonate with you. I want you to figure out why it resonates with you. I want you to write a paragraph or two about why it resonates with you. And then not only saved that okay, on your sheet for your, you know, so that you can refer back to it once in a while. Maybe it's, you know, the urine, a challenging situation. You pull that out and you read it, you say, okay, this is why this one resonates with me. Let me think like Dr. Martin Luther King on this 100, right? And let me go out there and expressed that. Okay, so you want to write it out so you have it. Okay. And you can do all four if you want. Actually, I would encourage you to do all four, but the one that resonates with you the most I want you to type that went into the chat roles so that we can all see why it resonates with you. Okay? But again, I would encourage you to do all four because you're going to end up in a situation where you're going to need one of these quotes on why it resonates with you in the first place. And it wouldn't be a bad idea to have that, you know, maybe even laminated in the drawer next to you so that you can say, okay, you know what, I've gotta get people to do things and I know they don't wanna do it. So let me figure out how to do that and you pull out that quote and bone, right? It can help you to set yourself up for success, managing and supervising your team. All right, I hope you enjoyed this lesson. I look forward to seeing you in the next lesson. 6. Understanding Culture: All right, in this lesson we're going to talk about something so fundamental but so important. And that is culture, right? What is the culture of your department? It doesn't matter if you have three people in your department or 300 and your department, there is a culture in that department. And if you're a new supervisor, you're a new manager, you're now in charge there. Okay? You have to know what that culture is because it was created either before you or with you, if you are part of that team before you started supervising them and managing them. Okay? So what do I mean by culture? Culture is essentially what a group of people believe, okay? It's group belief. And belief drives behavior unconsciously. Now this is important to understand. A person's belief will drive their behavior on consciously. You have all these beliefs that are causing you to behave a certain way unconsciously. You don't even know you're behaving this way, but based on those beliefs, you're driven that way. In other words, if I was to video record you for a few days and then playback that recording, you'd see some things that you're doing that you don't realize that you're doing that are based on your belief system. So gangs, so we do things based on our belief systems. There was a philosopher and a psychologist and the early 19 hundreds who was a Harvard professor, his name was William James. He said something really interesting. He said, whatever you believe you will unconsciously proved to yourself, if it's true, you, you'll behave in a way that you'll prove that to yourself. So now let's see, in a group environment, a group of people will believe a certain thing which will force them to behave based on that belief. You can look at any culture, right? So if we look at different countries, different environments, different parts of a country, right? There's different cultures and people behave differently based on the culture. So how does culture, it causes them to behave that way? Because culture is just what a group of people believe, right? So what I want to share with you right now is how does this impact your department? Well, let's just say that you are new to the departments, so you are a new manager coming into the apartment? I don't know anybody. Okay. You've never worked in that department or you've never even worked for the company. And now you're going to be managing a group of people. Well, those people have been in that environment for quite some time and they have a belief system. That belief system is going to cause them to behave in a certain way, either positively or negatively. And there's certainly many behaviors and probably different compartments of behaviors. But in general, they're going to behave a certain way based on those belief systems, whether they're true or not. So you're going to have to identify what that culture is, what those beliefs are, and if it serves your department, great. Allow them to continue and you embrace those as well. If it doesn't, then your goal is going to be to have to change what they believe. Okay. Now that might sound like a challenge, okay? And it is, but it can be done. But understanding it is the first part of this, right? We need to understand it first. So let me give you an example what I mean by this. Let's say it was my first day on the job and your department. Okay. And I walk in and, you know, it's first thing in the morning, I'm just meeting a few people and finally it's break time and I'm sitting in the break room with a group of people in the department and there's no supervisors or managers. There's nobody in there but just the team. And I say to these folks, I say, hey, can you tell me what it's like around here? Like what's it like to be in this department? Well, everyone will give me their idea what it's like to be there. And some people might say something like, let's just say they start to talk negative. They say Listen. And, you know, don't speak up. No one wants to hear your point of view. No one cares about your creative ideas. Norm wants to hear about how, you know how innovative you are, right? Keep to yourself if you want to last long hair, okay? In meetings, right? Just listen to what they say. Don't give new ideas, right? And you gotta watch yourself here because anytime anybody speaks up or anybody who does anything like that, you know, it's like they have a target on their back. Next thing you know, they're gone, right. So keep yourself do you work keep your head down and watch your back. Okay. Now, I have no reason to believe that what they're sharing with me is not true. Now, it may not be true and I'll explain that in a moment. But right now, they've told me what they believe. Okay. And now I believe it right. Why wouldn't I so I go home, my first day on the job, I finally wrap up. I go home and my wife says, Hey Phil, how was your first day on the job? And I said, jeez, I I talked to some of the folks there and they said, you know, I shouldn't speak up in meetings. Nobody wants to hear your ideas. Keep to yourself. It's their way or the highway and you gotta watch your back around here. You gotta be careful just to keep ahead now. And so I tell my wife this and then I go back to work the next day. So now it's the first meeting and then I'm going to be in maybe at ten o'clock there's a meeting and there's some managers in there. And I sit down and based on my new belief, how am I behaving? Probably not speaking up. I'm not sharing my insights. I'm not sharing any creative ideas on just keeping to myself. And when I'm walking around, I'm watching my back and I'm being really careful. Now here's the thing. I'm behaving based on the belief that I now have, even though I've never even experienced it, even though it may not even be true. So I've just added to the culture. The culture is expanding because of me. Now, a few months go by, right? I'm still ducking people and being quiet in meetings. I'm not talking how much I'm keeping to myself. And you start working in my in my department and you come in and you meet me in the morning, I'm having a cup of coffee. You say, hey, filename was we get to talk to me, say what's it like around here and I say, hey, listen, don't speak up in meetings, watch your back. No one wants to hear your ideas. If you do that, you'll be fine. Now, I've never even experience it, but I just pass this on to somebody new and expanded that belief system, which expands that culture. So you can see that culture is what a group of people believe and it drives behavior. Now, this, here's a thing that's incredible about understanding culture and beliefs. Think about this for a moment. That belief, right, could have been created based on a previous manager from two or three or four generations back or managers, right? So maybe three generations back, a manager was really tiring. I didn't care about people, didn't care about what they thought. And everybody kind of got conditioned by that, that environment and then that marriage or left, but the people stayed. Well, they'll bring that into the, into the future, right? So the new manager comes in, they're still behaving that way because people, once they have a belief, it's hard for them to change that belief. And that could go on for several generations of manager. And now you're there and you're stuck with this culture that just isn't serving you. Now it could be the opposite, right? Where you start out and you go into an environment and you say, what's it like here? And they say, you know what? It's great place to work in. Leadership's always been supportive. They'd love to hear your new ideas. They have idea boxes and they have these. Really great things that, you know, being connected and collaboration and you know what, it's just great to be here. They'd like to see their people grow and evolve. So now you've been told this, right? You go home and, you know, somebody asked me, Hey, what was what was it like on your first day of work? You say sounds that seems great. No people, they want you to collaborate. They want you to share ideas. They want you to be a part of things. I want you to grow, right? So you go back to work the next day and you're in a meeting, what do you do? You share your ideas, you express your feelings, your, you're open to, you know, helping out. You're actually expressing yourself. And you see, all you did was take a positive belief and then behave based on that so I can go either way. But the point I'm trying to make here is that you are now in a, in a group culture. Now, if you're weren't part of this culture, so your new need to figure out what the culture is. Ask people right, or try to identify that. The best way to do it if you're not willing to ask people is to just watch how they behave. Their behavior will tell you what they believe, okay, if it serves you, great, allow that to continue and continue to expand upon that. But if it doesn't, if it feels like people, I'm going to just use this example. People aren't speaking up in meetings, people aren't sharing their ideas, people are keeping themselves. Then you know that there must be a belief around that. And so you need to change what they believe. Now here's the challenge and we're going to talk about this throughout this course, okay? Most managers, they focus on the behavior. I'm going to change these people's behavior. And so they say, hey, you gotta change your behavior. People gotta speak up more. People that express their ideas more, okay, well, that doesn't really work. It'll work temporarily. You might get people in that meeting where you say, I want everybody to speak up, I want to go around the room. I want you all to speak up and you might get people to speak up, but then you have to do that every time because you haven't really changed what they believe. You've just externally forced them to do something. The goal will have to be for you to do things, okay? That will make them want to speak up. You're going to have to behave in a certain way to disprove that belief. Disk D, the beliefs that they have right? Where you continually do this over a period of time of hearing ideas and say, hey, I heard this idea that John said yesterday, I was walking down the hall. I think it's a great idea, we should try to implement it. Or, you know, yesterday I heard a few people collaborating about this, this idea and, you know, I didn't hear the whole details. Can you share with me Maybe we could implement something like that and do whatever you can to disprove or debunked that belief system to change the culture if the culture isn't serving you. Okay? So culture is incredibly important because it literally drives everyone's behavior. And you might want to just define what your new culture is going to be because you're the new manager now, right? So if you're the new person in charge and you decide that you want to have a culture of collaboration and trust and accountability and all the things that are important when you're, when you're managing people, then you need to define what that is. So I would suggest that you start writing down what you would want people to say if it was the first day on the job and they were asked, okay, this person was asked, hey, what's it like around here? So let's go back to my my example. If I came into your department and I asked your team, what's it like around here? What do you want them to say? Write that out clearly. Okay, then I want you to ask yourself this next question. Especially if you've been there for awhile and if I'm working for at least two, you know, maybe a few weeks or a month or something. And once yes. I want you to ask yourself this question. If I was it was my first day in your department and I asked your people what it's like here, what would they say? So you're going to have two things. You're going to have what you want them to say and what they would say if those match, you're good to go, right? Move on to the next lesson. If they don't match, okay, you need to get your people to believe something different. So they're going to have to go from their current belief, okay, to a new belief. And the way that we're gonna get them to do that is really simple. Ok, but it's gonna take some work and some effort. Okay, so let me share with you this. I get this on a white board so you can see what it looks like. Okay? So we're going to have the current belief, okay, so you'll identify what that is. So you're going to basically know what your people believe. So you say, well, they've probably would say this. So you'll have your current belief, whatever that is. Ok, currents. Ble. Okay. And then we're going to want to determine what is the belief that we want, what is the new belief that we want them to have? Because remember, belief drives behavior. Group belief is culture. And in order to get them from here to here, you can't tell them. I want you to start believing this. We need to do some things to get them to here, okay? So you need to ask yourself, what are some things that I need to, number one, start doing, doing to get them to believe this. So what do you need to start doing through repetition over a period of time, consistently to debunk this and have them believe this. Okay, number two, what do we need to stop doing? What do we need to stop doing to prove this new belief, okay? And the number three, right? What do we need to continue doing? Because there are things that you're probably doing to so continue doing to keep proving this and over time through repetition. Okay, we'll get people to have what's called a paradigm shift. A paradigm shift is when you go from one belief to another belief, okay? When you go from this belief to this belief, and suddenly you start to behave based on this belief rather than this belief. So a paradigm shift happens in two ways. One through repetition, if we keep doing things and we keep stopped doing commands and we continue to do things that are in harmony with this new belief. Eventually one day people will wake up and I'll say, you know what, this place is like this now, right? I don't even know when it happened. It'll just be a a shift called a paradigm shift, a shift in belief. Now, just so you understand what it looks like, OK, because you're gonna have to do this exercise and this might take a little while and getting some people on board with you would be helpful as well. But I want you understand our paradigm shift works because you've all experienced it. And this via kinda cement this in for you before we wrap up this lesson. A paradigm shift is this, it's going from a current belief to a new belief. Now, how did you get the current belief in the first place? There are two ways. You've got the belief that you have, okay? You've got your beliefs based on repetition. You heard it over and over again, or you saw it over and over again, right? Beliefs about these people and those people are this thing or that thing or Whatever it might be in your environment, you saw this especially growing up. So you develop the belief system and now you behave based on that. That's one way. The other way is a traumatic event. Something could happen in your life so traumatic, right? So emotionally impactful that your belief also has cemented in about this person or this thing or whatever it might be. So those are the two ways that we actually get our beliefs through repetition, right? Hearing it over and over again, seeing it over and over again many times when we're children, right? Because we're, we're influenced by our parents. So whatever beliefs they have, you probably have, for the most part, most people have the same religious views, political views, views about law enforcement, military, educated, Non educated, wealthy people broke people, write whatever your parents believe, you possibly believe you probably vote the same way your parents do and you don't even know why now not everybody, right? You may have changed your ear mind about that. For the most people. For the most part, people fall into patterns that are impressed upon them by others through repetition or a traumatic event. So how are we going to go from this belief to this belief, right? The only way is the same way. Either a traumatic event or repetition. You may not be able to create a traumatic event for your people, but through repetition, start doing, stop doing, continue doing. You can get them to believe something different. Let me get back to a simple example for you. You've probably had a belief about, I want you to think of belief you had about somebody or some group. Whether it's a positively or negatively, he had a belief about somebody. And then one day you woke up and you're like, I was completely wrong about that person or those people. You've experienced that right where you woke up one day, not man, I was completely wrong. Right? What do you think happened there? What happened is simply this. Either they did something or that group did something so traumatic, so dramatic that it totally erased the hard drive that you have of your belief system about them and started a new and you're like, man, I was wrong about that person. I can't believe that I just heard this thing about that person. Unbelievable. I was completely wrong. So you probably experienced that. Or secondly, one day you woke up, he said, man, I was wrong about that person. You don't even know why you think that way, but I'll tell you why. Because they disproved whatever your belief was over a long period of time through repetition. Every once in awhile they did something that was against your belief system. You're like, you know what, i was wrong now could go positive or negative, but either way, they disproved your belief until it piled up so heavily that you had a tipping point. And that's where a paradigm shift occurs and suddenly you're like, I was wrong about that person. Ok. So if you want to change the culture of your department, okay. The only way to do it as a traumatic event or spaced repetition, we first need to identify what it is, then you have to identify what you want it to be and if those don't match, okay, you've got some work to do. Alright, hope this lesson served you. I will add a PDF here with some of this information so that you can work through it on your own, okay. But it's really that simple, okay? You need to identify the culture you currently have. You need to identify identify the culture that you want to have. And if those don't match, you go through this process, which I'll have here for you to be able to download. Okay, I hope you enjoyed the lesson. See it in the next lesson. 7. Labels in the Workplace: In this lesson we're gonna talk about labels, okay? So what are labels? These are how you identify people. It's your perception of people. And we create labels very, very quickly, right? You meet somebody, you assess them, right? And you're not really meeting them, but you're actually, what you're doing is you're creating internal representation of who that person is to you based on your history, your experiences where other people have told you there's various things that come into play, but suddenly developed a labeling or recreate a label. And this label then ends up driving your behavior unconsciously. Good. This is important to understand. The labels that you have for other people drive your behavior unconsciously. And so labels can happen over time, right? You meet another person, you experienced some time together, and based on those experiences, you start to develop labels. Well, they could be that the person is positive or negative, right? The person is fun or knowing, the person's productive or lazy, the person is sensitive or insensitive, right? And we create these labels for all the people that we know. You have labels for just about every person, you know. And some of those labels, they serve your relationships and some of those labels desorb your relationship. Now when you're managing people, you have to understand how important this is. Because like I said a moment ago, the labels that you have for people so that people on your team, they're driving your behavior unconsciously. You don't even know that you're behaving based on those labels. And so if I was to video record you for a period of time and play back the recording. You'd be surprised at some of the things that you do unconsciously, but she also would be shocked at what you do based on labels. So let me explain how a label works, right? Let's just say that you are, you're working at your desk and you're typing away, doing whatever you do. Okay. And then somebody comes into your space, okay. Now you don't know who they are yet. They just showed up so you can sense them in your peripheral vision. Now as you look up to see who it is, I want you to imagine for a moment. Soon as you look up, it happens to be the most annoying person you know, right? In an instant based on that label, annoying person, right? The person that's annoying, what will your body do? What do you think it will do instantly and maybe unconsciously. It might sigh, my role its eyes, it might do one of these things or, or sit back, right? You will immediately behave unconsciously based on a label. Okay? The label was annoying and so you're suddenly annoyed. It would be like if your phone rang right now, right. And you picked it up your cell phone and you saw an image of somebody that's annoying or their name, you'd suddenly be so annoyed now that you have even picked up the call yet, you don't know if they're going to be annoying but you're annoyed just like that person who walked in annoyed, you know, think about this for a moment. So the person walks in, you see them, you roll your eyes, you saw you do this unconsciously. That action is going to cause an equal and opposite reaction. This is the law of cause and effect. So if you roll your eyes at somebody you psi or you show them your tensed up or whatever it might be, that action is going to create an equal, opposite reaction. Is that reaction going to be positive or negative? More than likely negative because they're going to react to your actions. They're going to do something that is going to be negative. And suddenly you're gonna be able to save your soft what you right there. Annoying because they're gonna annoy you with whatever action they take or reaction they give you from your action. And you're gonna be able to say to yourself, I'm right, this person is so annoying. But whose fault is that? It was your fault? See, you let your label get the better of you. And if you're supervising another human being, the last thing you wanna do is let your negative labels show up through your body, right? Because your body is a medium expression of what's your thinking. And so you just showed that person what you thought about them. How do you think that's going to serve that relationship? It probably isn't gonna serve very well. Now, I want you to imagine for a moment you're working just like you were before. You're typing away and somebody shows up in your space, you don't know who they are yet. I just want you to imagine that you can send them in your peripheral vision. And now you look up and as soon as you look up at them, it happens to be the nicest person. You know, you've labeled them as kind and nice and friendly. What does your body do now? It's smiled, it welcomes them. Maybe get up and shake their hand or say, hey, come on in and sit down. Okay? That action is going to cause an equal and opposite reaction as well. And that reaction is going to be probably positive. They're going to smile, they're going to be welcoming, they come in, they're going to enjoy some time with you and you're going to be able to save yourself what that person is so kind of nice. Whose fault was that? It was your fault as well because you're action caused a reaction that was in harmony with your actions. Now here's the thing. Both of those scenarios were exactly the same. I said somebody showed up. They didn't do anything or say anything. They just showed up. All you did was lookup at them. And each of those people got a different version of you. One got the Jekyll and one got Dr. Hi. So two versions of you with the same scenario. Why would you do that? You're doing that unconsciously because the label is driving your behavior unconsciously. The key here is to alter the labels that are negative, that don't serve you because that second label serve you that relationship. What would be really great, but the first one is desorb and you. Now here's a couple of things I want you to know about labels. First of all, they may not be true. C, This is important. Oftentimes we label somebody is maybe negative or annoying or whatever. And they've worked on themselves for awhile and they're trying to be more positive or less annoying or whatever it is. And because we have that label impressed upon us, It's hard to see past the label. And ultimately what happens is we continue to behave in a negative way around that person based on a label that's no longer true. This is what I called earlier a blind spot or a serotonin in psychological terms, you've got to be really careful about this. We have to be able to really see that the person has made changes. And even if they haven't made changes, you as a manager, you need to be doing as being the best version of you, not a lesser version of you. And as soon as you use a negative label for somebody, you've lowered your standard of self for that person. We never wanna do that as a manager. So we need to make sure that the label, whether it's true or not, doesn't affect us emotionally and cause us to behave in a way that doesn't serve the relationship. The other thing about labels, and this is really important, is oftentimes they're passed on to us by other people. Okay. So for instance, maybe before you met this person, somebody said, Oh, this person is, is obnoxious, right? And so suddenly you've identified that labeling as soon as you see this person know that they're of noxious, you now own that label and then guess what? Everything that they do seems obnoxious to you. Write, everything gets amplified to be more obnoxious to you. They speak up at a meeting and I'm like that's not just now, they may not be obnoxious, but you're trying to prove you're labeled to yourself because that's what we tried to do. So labels can be passed on to us by somebody else, right? And suddenly we start to behave based on those labels. If you're a new supervisor and some department and you don't know any of your of your people yet and you're going to be introduced to them. Maybe somebody your leader says you had before age of DC to the team. Let me tell you a little bit about them. And they start to give you labels of all of these people. They say, hey John as the smartest person on the team, if you need anything, seek him out. He's really helpful. And su you know what? She knows this place inside and I shall show you around, should give you all the, you know, excuse me, the torch. So she's so friendly going and she's really fun to be around, right? So you've got two labels already. And they'll say, Hey Tom, right? It's kind of a troublemaker. You might want to be careful around him, right? Careful what you say he's kind of a troublemaker. So suddenly you've got these three labels of three people on your team. You don't know any of these people, but you have no reason not to believe those labels. So you've just now define these people with these labels. So you start to interact with these people, right? And you're really having a fun time with Sue and you're having a good time when John and John's helped me with all these things, right. And then all a sudden Tom, which I believe is a person they said this was a troublemaker you're having issues with, right? You're sensing that it can be negative or He speaks up in a meeting and all sudden you think maybe he's trying to cause trouble, right? And he's not trying to cause trouble, but it's amplified to you because at the base of your brain you have a group of nerves. They're called the reticular activating system. What it does is it amplifies what you're looking for, right? And tries to filter out what you're not looking for. It works sort of like Google, right? So if we were to type into Google something, and so I live in the Boston area here in the United States. So if I typed into Google right now and just quickly typed in that Boston is the most amazing city in the country to live in. What will Google do? It will amplify all the positive things about Boston and it will filter out anything negative about bosses. So it's amplifying what I'm looking for, right? And filtering out when I'm not looking for, That's exactly what a labeled desk, it's amplified to you, right? And filters out things that are unlike it to you. Now, I could go to Google Now and delete real quickly that Boston is the most amazing city living in the country. And I could type in that Boston is the worst city living in the country. What will Google do now? It will bring to the forefront and amplify all the negative things about Boston. And then push back all those positive things to the foreground so that I don't see them. So it's looking for what I'm looking for and filtering out everything else. Your labels are the same way. You are looking for what you're looking for and it's filtering out everything else. So a simple example would be, you know, your children, maybe you have children, if you do, maybe you labeled them as lazy, right? And so you live with the lazy EA Kids is lazy and when you're going home, what are you looking for? You're trying to prove your label is true. So you're looking for any proof that they're lazy. And let's just say that this particular day they cleaned up after themselves. They didn't leave any dirty dishes they picked up after their toys. Everything's kinda neat and clean, but you need to prove to yourself unconsciously that they're lazy. So you start scanning to find anything that would prove that they're lazy. And then maybe this item here right, is supposed to be sitting over here, but it's four inches away over here. And that's enough for you to go ballistic. Why can't these kids put this where it belongs? It belongs here, not here. I keep telling you to put it here right? And you lose control of yourself because you need to prove what they're lazy and you need to prove that you're right. So labels can control us and we have to be really careful not to allow that to happen. So the idea here is we've got alter the label. So if you are even working in, you know, in your department or in this organization that you're in right now and you know these people, you have labels for them. Identify what those labels are, identified the ones that might be negative, and you need to change those labels to something positive. Okay? So the way that we do this is we look for something good in the person. It's really not that hard to do. I know you're thinking right now, there's nothing good about this person, but there has to be because there's a law called the law of opposites. There can't be an up without her down, there can't be an inn without an out. There can't be a right without a left or without a cold. So there can't be a negative without a positive. So you have a label for somebody, maybe that there. I don't know, frustrating. Well, maybe you can change that label two. They're really passionate about what they do. So it frustrates your right, maybe they're really passion or they're really a hard worker, they're good parents, find something positive about this person and begin to start to look at this person from that point of view, that perspective, and that label, you start to create a new label now the first day it may not happen, right? But the more often that you think of this person and had better lights, right, then, the better off the your, your relationship is going to be because you're gonna behave based on that new label. Now it might take a little while to get used to seeing the person. And instead of saying, I've noxious or annoying or frustrating, saying kind or passionate or hard working, right? But you're gonna have to start doing this over time until finally it gets programmed in. And when you see this person, the first thing you think about as the positive label, which cause you to behave in a positive way, which caused them to react in a positive way, actually serves their relationship. This is important for you to understand because if you don't alter these labels, you'll continue to behave unconsciously in a negative way and discern those relationships. And we want to be the best version of ourselves if we're going to manage people, right? We don't want our body to express to other people anything negative. We want our body to express things that are positive. We want people to see that we're confident and we care about them or empathetic and we understand them. Body tells everything to everybody that you're thinking. So make sure that you're thinking in a way that serves those relationships. So one exercise I want to give you right now to just show you how this can really have an impact. I want you to think about somebody right now that you have a negative label, four, okay? Whatever that negative label is, just kinda identify in your mind. Got it. Okay. Now, I want you to imagine this person just came to you in the head a question. They asked you this question and you realize it. They've asked you this question four times already and you've already given them the answer four times. It's the fifth time there asked me the question. And I want you to think about how you would react to that person. Remember you get a negative label for them. How would you react? You'd be annoyed obviously, right? You probably be frustrate, you probably hate, I told you this already or, you know, you gotta you gotta retain information. You know, you can't keep company with these questions. That might be one reaction that you might have right now. You might have a different reaction, right? But you might have a reaction that tenses you up a bit. Maybe show some emotion. Maybe it wouldn't be a very positive response to this person. Now, I want you to now think of a human being that you know, somebody, you know, that you have a really positive label for their kind. They're nice, they're hard working, whatever it is, a really positively think good the person. You've got them, ok. Now they come to you and I have a question that they want to ask you. Now, this question they've asked you for times as well. Time they're asked me the same question. I want you to be honest with yourself. How do you respond to this person? It's probably not as short. It's probably kind or maybe a little poke fun at, maybe a little more optimistic, maybe a little helping hand, maybe show them where it is. Little bit different, but they're both. Those scenarios are identical. Someone came to you with the question, but at the fourth time or fifth time. But based on your labels, they get two different versions of you. One of those versions of you lowered your standard of self. Why would you do that? We'd never want a lower standard of self for another person, right? We want to always be our best self no matter what, whether that's, you know, in your personal life or your professional, if you want to be the best version of ourselves, the only way that we're going to do that, and the only way that we can possibly do that is to make sure that we're in control and not out-of-control, meaning unconscious. We want to be awake and aware and recognize people for the good that they bring, for the positive things that they bring. Revisit your labels, recognize the ones that are negative, and then alter them to find something positive. I promise you, it'll make a world of difference in your relationships. And of course, when you're managing people, it's all about relationships. Hope you enjoyed this lesson. I look forward to sharing the next lesson with you shortly. Thank you. 8. I vs You- Having Difficult Conversations: So in this lesson we're gonna talk about something a little bit more tactical. Okay? So in this lesson, we're talking about using I statements versus US statements when you're approaching somebody that works on your team and maybe you have to have some difficult conversation, right? So I want to share with you what the difference is between an I statement and a new statement when you say you to another person, right? Like you need to do a better job or you need to come in on time or you're not you're not pulling your weight. You're essentially pointing your finger at the person, right? It'd be like me pointing my finger into this camera and no one likes a finger pointed in their face. And when we're saying you it's identical to somebody actually pointing a finger at you. And it, what it does is it causes resistance, is certainly doesn't open somebody it up, it closes them off. I want to make sure that we're not using use statements because u is judging another person as a supervisor or manager, especially in any leadership role, what we want to be doing is using I statements because I takes the pressure off of the other person, I removes judgment. I is a much better approach to having a conversation conversation with somebody when it may be difficult, maybe they're doing something that you need to address. So I'm going to share with you a little bit about I versus you statements. And I'll share with you a couple of examples that I have here. And a kinda walk you through sort of the process on using AI versus you. Okay, so let me just share real quickly here, sort of an example. Imagine that you've missed a deadline for providing report to a coworker, you run into her in the hallway and she asked, hey, where's that report you are supposed to submit last Friday, you're holding up the entire project. How would that make you feel? That's totally pointing a finger at? You? Gotta be really careful if you're speaking in a new language, deserving the relationship. You're dismissing the person and you're actually putting them in a situation where they're going to feel really badly about themselves, okay, that usually doesn't go very well. Ok, what we want to try to do is try to get our message across, still be assertive, but not in a way that shuts the person down, makes him feel bad. And they had them walking on egg shells for the rest of the day or week. Okay. So how would you feel if it was said this way? So imagine this is a little bit different. It's the same situation except this time when you run into your coworker, she says, Hey, I am getting backed up and feeling a little stress because I don't have that report yet. Can you help me out? You see there all of the all of that was turned inward, right? The person wasn't saying you're doing this and you're doing a saying, I'm feeling stress, I I'm having the issue right? So it takes the pressure off and it it opens a person up to be more willing, okay, to do something and help an app. Versus now being worried. As a supervisor, you want to make sure that we're trying to our best not to get a person to feel badly about themselves, right? We want them to be inspired to do better. We want them to reach higher levels of performance through an optimistic point of view, not a negative or pessimistic point of view. The only way that we're gonna do that is to not point fingers at people, okay, use I statements we could talk about giving feedback to, we'll do that in a future lesson or giving somebody feedback, there's a little bit more assertive way to do it. But in an initial conversation, make sure that you're using AI versus you. So let's give you a couple of examples. Ok. So this is the scenario while kinda talked to you a little bit about how I'd walk through this and you think about how you would as well, okay? And then I'll, I'll allow you to do this. You can download a spreadsheet, a pdf here, which will allow you to be able to do this exercise on your own. Okay. So this is the third time this month that a customer has complained you about Joe not returning calls on the status of a project. Now, if you're going to use a use statement, be really easy. Hey Joe, you're not doing your job. Hey Joe, I got a call from a client, says you're not calling them. I got a call from, you know, whatever, you're not doing your job, you need to step it up. Well, that's use statements. How would you do this? How would you respond this using an I statement? I'll give you one example and then I want you to do the exercise on your own. So let me read this again. This is the third time this month that a customers complain to you about Joe not returning, calls them the status of a project. So you can say that Joe, hey Joe, I understand that we're really busy here and there's a lot going on. I've been getting some feedback that phone calls aren't being returned. Is there anything I can do to help you so that you can be more proactive or be more efficient and making those phone calls. So I'm taking on all its responsibility. I understand that we're busy here. I I understand that it can be difficult to make phone calls in a timely manner. Is there anything I can do to help you write simple as that. So we're taking the pressure off, right, by using, instead of using you, which going to cause the person to want to resist. And rather than be open to doing something to be helpful, there's a better chance that they're going to resist and push back. And of course, even if they don't, they're gonna feel badly. And again, we don't want people walking on eggshells when we're managing them, blow up people to feel good about what they're doing and be able to express themselves. Okay, Here's another example, amulets you work on this one on your own. You need to lead a team member, know that she's distracting others from their work with her loud phone conversations. Well, I'm just gonna give it to you. You work on the eye. You can say, hey, you need to quiet down when you're on the phone, right? You're making so much noise and everybody is complaining about you. That isn't going to work. Okay, so think about this using I statements. How would you handle this one? Alright, these are important things to understand. We're going to get deeper into giving feedback in another lesson. But for now, just focus on converting your use statements to I statements talked to you in the next lesson. Okay. 9. Giving Feedback: All right, welcome to this lesson. This one here is on feedback. So again, we're a little bit more tactical now, okay? Um, so giving feedback to somebody can be really difficult, but there's a process I'm going to have you walk through that will really be helpful and it can use this five-step process. Anytime you want to give feedback where that's positive feedback or maybe some tough feedback. Okay, so the first thing is we want to make sure that we focus on what we like or what can be changed, okay, important to understand this. So when you're about to give somebody feedback, you can start out and say something like, Hey, I really enjoy having you on the team or really respect the fact that you are really a positive person in our meetings or something positive about them, okay? And so I want to say something that's going to get them to lean in, not lean back and kinda, you know, Frost their arms. So you could just say anything as long as it's authentic and it's real, right? You say, hey, I really appreciate you haven't having you on, on our team. You've been a big part of our progress here and of course our success, whatever it might be. So start out with something positive. See if you can't find something that would be positive, then we want to talk about what needs to be changed. So now at this point we're going to transition into the conversation. So let us just say that this person maybe has been showing up late to meetings. Okay? So this is what we need to change say. And here's really important, okay? When we get into step two, which is back-up my observations with specifics. We have to be very specific here. Okay, so now we're going to tell them that the reason why we're having a conversation with them is because they need to change their behavior. They need to come in to our meetings on time. So you don't want to say something like, you know, you're always late for meetings, okay? Because always late for meetings is too ambiguous and people don't understand. Always if they see, always can mean something different to you than it does to me. Always. You could mean always into me. It could just mean most of the time, right. So I want to be very specific. We can say look, you know, last Thursday's ten o'clock meeting, you showed up at 1010. And the week before we had that Tuesday meeting at three o'clock, you should up at 307. So that's very specific. We're going to now explain in a very specific way what it is that we're going to talk about. Because if we're, if we just use generalizations like usually, always, sometimes the person's already backing off because all of those statements, all of those words like usually, sometimes and always there, they're ambiguous and they mean different things to different people. So when you say to somebody that, you know, sometimes you're late, that could mean 10% of the time to you, but to somebody else can mean 50% of the time. It's a very ambiguous word. So you would want to say that you were late on this date, this date mistake and actually give a specific time. So that's number to backup your observations with specifics. Number three, give a positive suggestion for improvement or continuation. So we need to give a positive something that they can actually do, something that's tangible, a suggestion. So that could be on time. So you can say, you know, you could use this model to is called the field felt phone model. Okay? Where, just think of it as a three F's feel, felt found. You could say, I know how you feel. It's really difficult to get to meetings on time because we're we're so busy around here and our schedules or pack. So you can say, I understand how you feel. I've felt the same way. That's the second part of the three F's. I felt the same way. But what I've found is when I set an alarm on my phone or when I block a little bit of time before my meetings, maybe 15 minutes of it, nobody can interrupt me. Or what I've found is if I close my door in my office or if I shut off my notifications to my email is just 15 minutes before meeting, it gives me enough time to get settled in to the meeting, right? So you can give a positive suggestion for improvement is something that you've done in the past that's allowed you to get to meetings on time, suggests that, but give a specific way that they can do it, then you can use I feel felt found as well to kind of make it feel better for the person. So they know that, hey, you've done this same thing and this is what you've found. Number four, clarify, understanding or agreement. So at this point, want to make sure that they understand why we're talking okay? And they understand this, the suggestion for improvement, and they agree that they're gonna do something, get their agreement. Okay. That is number four and number five. Thank the person. Right. And just let them know that, you know, if they need any help, you're here for them, but thank them for their understanding, thank them for listening. Thank them for doing what they're about to do. Say I really appreciate it, and then let them know that, you know, maybe we'll revisit this in a week or two and we'll see how things are going and if there's any, any further need for me to help you, alright? Those are the five steps to giving feedback. Look, it's important that you give feedback, right? Feedback is a gift. And people look at feedback is something negative. Don't make it negative in your department and make it something that's positive, right? Give continuous feedback. They don't have to give formal feedback all the time, but you need to be given feedback more often than you don't. You know, I've talked to thousands of people about feedback and I've been in rooms where there's maybe a 100 people and I've asked them how many of you feel like you get enough feedback, okay. And hardly any of the hands go up in a room of a 100 people. They don't feel like they get enough feedback. Don't be the manager that doesn't deliver feedback to your people. People want feedback, whether they really wanted or not, whether they say they want to or not, they need it because feedback, some gift. So make sure that you are the manager that continually giving feedback both positive and more critical because the goal is to make people better, help them to reach higher levels of performance. They can't do that if you don't give them feedback because if they don't know, they won't grow. Hope you enjoyed this lesson, talk to you soon. 10. Giving Effective Praise: Alright, in this lesson, we're going to talk about how to give praise effectively, right? Just saying to somebody, Hey, you don't integrate job isn't good enough, right? What does that really mean? It becomes sort of callous up just becomes one of those things that you say that it doesn't really have an impact. So we want to make sure that, yeah, it's fine to say, hey, you don't have great job. But every once in awhile we wanna make sure that we give really effective praise to people that are doing a really good job. And so there's a three-step formula for giving praise. And the acronym is act a CT. So let me share with you and then we'll talk a little bit about maybe how you could start actually giving praise to people in a way that's effective. So a action, okay, in this, we specifically want to state the action that you value, right? So let's just say that somebody speaks out in meetings in a way that's really productive, right? So you want to let them know that action a specific way. And you can say, you know, hey, I really appreciate when we have meetings, how you express your ideas and you don't hold back and you do it in a way that's really professional and respectful to other people. That really adds a lot of value to our meetings, right? So you're sharing this specific thing that you want to praise them for. The c is the contribution, okay, so state how this action helps customers or coworkers or, or helps us achieve our goals, right? So in this particular case, where in meetings you'll want to talk about the contribution that this action is making to the rest of the team, right? So here you would say, when you make those statements are when you express yourself, it really helps the whole team kinda open up and think about new ways. It, it gets us to brainstorm and it really, it really adds a lot of value, not just to the meetings, but to sort of the progression of our team and, and sort of the synergy of the team. And so you can say it in a very specific way. See how already feels differently then, hey, you're just doing a good job or hair. Appreciate your comment during the meeting. You're getting very specific. So you're telling the person specifically what you value, that lets them know that you're serious about this and you really value this. Ok, so very specific. And both of those in those areas, the third and the acronym of act as the T, which is thank, Right. Thank them. So here you want to sincerely thank the person. So I really just want to thank you for, for behaving that way in these meetings. And and I really think that it's going to lift other people up and, and hopefully other people start to engage more as well based on that behavior. So again, I appreciate you. Thank you. It's really simple as three steps, action, contribution, and thank them. This is an effective way to give praise to people. It's one that sinks in. And maybe when they go home in the evening, they'll go tell somebody about their boss or their manager, whatever. Just, just praise them because they won't forget that praise. They might kinda brush off that, hey, you're doing a good job, okay? Think about somebody that you need to praise. This is what I want you to do. I want you to think about somebody right now that maybe is deserving some praise. And I want you to write it out specifically, exactly like we talked about, okay? The action that you're, that you want to praise, the thing that you value, the contribution that action makes. And then how are you going to thank them for that? Write this out and make sure at your next interaction with this person that you praise them effectively. 11. How to Say No: I think you're gonna really enjoy this lesson because this lesson is on hardest, say No, okay? And I know it's difficult to say no. I mean, we hate to say no to people, but oftentimes we have to when you're managing people, right, they're going to have requests sometimes and you're gonna need to say no to them. Also, you might even need to say no to your manager about something, right? So you wanna get good at saying no without actually using the word now. And there's a process for doing this and there's three steps, ok, now there's some psychology behind this. I want you to understand the psychology and that way you can use this to your benefit. It doesn't mean that it's going to work every time, but it works more often then it doesn't work. Okay? And if you don't use it, it will never work. And this is called the USA model of delivering a note to somebody without actually ever using the word know. So let me go through each of the letters. So U is for understanding statement. Ok. This is important. Before you can say no to anybody, you first have to let them know that you understand their request. And again, in a very specific way. And in our feedback lessons, we talked about being specific here, indeed to be specific as well, when you say to somebody, hand your stand that you'd want some time off, that's just lip service, right? It's not clear enough or I understand you'd like to be in charge of this next project, right? That's just lip service. So we want to be specific about it, want to say exactly what we understand. So let's just say that one of your team members wants to take the lead on a project. And you need to say no to them because you've already given that lead to somebody else who maybe he's been here longer, has more experience her, or maybe took her class that gave them sort of the edge on leading this, this took class on leadership or something. And it gave them the edge and leading this particular project. But somebody comes to you and say, hey, I'd really like to take the lead on that project, right? So you'd start out with the EU, the understanding statement. Now remember, this is a statement, OK, this doesn't, this isn't a debate, has an acute and a, it's a statement. So we want to be speaking in statement terms, okay, so direct terms. So your team member comes over and says, hey, I'd really like to take the lead on that project. And you can say, hey, I understand how important it is for you to take the lead on this project. And I really understand that for you to take this lead, it would be a big leap for you, right? And it would probably make you feel like, Hey, you're getting to that next level and I know that you want that you've been working really hard for that, something like that. And you see I'm, I'm kinda winging it here, but you can see that I'm being very specific how important it is for this person. I understand how important it is. Now we want to transition to the s in the USA model and that is the situation statements. So now you want to, you want to share the situation without using the word situation and without it feeling like an excuse. Okay, so we transition now and we say to the person, so I'll start back with the EU. They understand handlers stand that you'd like to take the lead on this project. That would be a really big step and your progress and in your role here and maybe getting to the next level in the organization, something like that. Now we transition right into the situation. I already offered the lead to John, John and taken a class recently on leadership. And I want them to be able to use what he learned, right, those skills that he learned there in this particular project to see how well, you know, he, him, he embraced or how well the training stuck. And I know it'll make him feel like the training was worth his time. Ok. So I'm very specific on the situation that a man I've already told John, I've told you why I've selected John this time. Right. So very clear, very specific. This is the situation that we're in, okay, now we move to the a. Okay, so this is the action or alternative action that we're going to offer. So this is what we can do with this person can do what somebody else can do, right? We want to kind of give some alternatives and summed alternative actions for this person. So we'll start out again with the understanding, understand how important it is for you to maybe lead a project or lead this project. I know you've been wanting to do this for quite some time and and you've been really working on progressing within the organization and trying to get a team lead role. I currently have selected John for this particular lead because he just took a class on leadership. And I know you learned a lot of skills that he wants to apply. And I think if he applied them sooner than later, it'll help stick and the training will be well worth his while. And so I've selected him for this one. What we can do is, and the next project I'll consult with you, we'll see if it's a right fit for you, and I'll have you lead that one. That can be an alternative action. Or I could say, you know, what are my sand? You did this class on leadership so you can get a few of the skills and learn a few tools so that you could take the lead on a project after you've taken that training. Okay. So I've given this person some something to look forward to, something that is tangible. Any type of action or alternative actions that you can offer this person will make them feel like, okay, they're not just getting the flat-out. No. No. I never said no. But it is no. You can sense that, right? But it feels better if you wanna be really effective managing people, you gotta make sure that they don't leave feeling badly. Okay, this is incredibly important. So if you want to say No, use the USA model, I promise you, it'll, you'll get through it a lot easier as you get better at it. But the psychology behind it is very effective if you don't make the person feel bad by just saying, hey, I understand you want to do this but I can't let you already picked Jiang. That wouldn't feel do good, would it? And I'm sure that you wouldn't want your manager, you know, saying it that way to you either you want to be, you want to know specifically what the situation is. You wanna make sure that they understand what your situation is. And then you want some sort of alternative action that you know that you can move towards. Hope this was helpful. Hopefully you'll be able to say no Next time you're, you know, you're dealing with your team or you can try this at home with somebody at home first and see how it works out there. I promise you will make a huge difference and make these seem much more caring at home and much more professional on the job. 12. Understanding Personality Styles: Well, I hope you've found a lot of value so far in this course and here in the last lesson, I think I'm going to really bring it home because this is really the most important thing when it comes to managing other people. People need to know that you understand them, okay, I'm gonna repeat that. Your people need to know that you understand them. There's nothing worse in a manner that doesn't understand their team, ok, the people. And so how do we do this? We have to understand that every single person in your team has a, has a personality style, right? They have a communication style, they have a work style. In essence, they have a personality style that you need to understand so that when you are speaking with them or you're, you know, you're giving them a task or a project to do where you're giving them feedback or you're trying to motivate them, that you do it in a way that resonates with them because not everybody wants feed back the same way. Now I've given you some guidelines on feedback, but the way that you approach at your tonality, where you do this, how you do this, whether it's in writing or whether that's some person, whether it's in front of a group or not, whether giving praise in front of a group or silently, all depends on personality style. Okay? And so in essence are four styles, okay, we have the, the person, so I'm going to use colors so that you can understand these, okay? And I'll give you the information here so you can download it and you can have this. But then we're going to use colors. So the first personality style I want to share with you is red, okay? This is a person who's really direct and they're really a goal setter and goal achiever. They're really focused on, on task and getting things done that the person who wants to be successful and they want to climb the corporate ladder. Those types of people that are always charging for, for more, right? Doing more, having more, right? That type of person. That's the red personality style. The blue personality style is the more social person I just loved to be on teams collaborating, working with other people. They like to have fun, right? They like to socialize. If you'd like to have meetings, things like that, it could be around people and that doesn't mean that they don't want to do well and finished projects and things like that. But they want to do this together in a team where the red, they could care less, they could do it alone. Ok. So there's a little bit different. They are the ones more task-driven and one's more social, right? Walden's more and get things done with others and team things like that. Then there's the yellow personality style. That's the person who is little bit more sensitive. They're more nurturing, they're carrying, they love people. They work for meaning and purpose. They wanna get along. They don't like confrontation. You know, they're, they're either carrying kind, okay? And these people care about others. They're, they're not in it for themselves or they're in it for other people. In other words, you know, you want to motivate them by saying, hey, the team is really benefiting from you being here, write things like that. So they're more about other people. Okay? And then the fourth personality style is the green. We'll call this the green style there. The more analytical person, they're very meditative, they're very direct, they're not as trustworthy than not as trusting. They don't like to hear things will just work out, don't worry about it. They want to know how it's gonna work out. The very linear thinkers, okay? They're less likely to express themselves. They're more likely to keep their emotions in. It doesn't mean they don't have emotions. They're less likely to express their emotions. Ok. They're not the person that's going to, you know, when you say it is, go back and have a picnic and throw a Frisbee around, they're not coming. Okay. They like to just do their thing and focus and work on their thing, right? So let me just share what I mean by My first comment, debt. Your people need to know that you understand them. If you don't understand personality styles than when you approach these people, right? Maybe a conversation or you need something from them, you may approach them based on your style. And if you don't know, if you don't act sort of like a chameleon and change your style to kind of matching mirror. There's a little bit and i'm not all the way that would be an authentic, but just change a little bit right, to match and mirror their style. There's a good chance when you walk away they're going to say, fill doesn't get me, John doesn't get me whatever you want to have. Your name is OK. And so what do you make sure that when people walk, when you walk away from somebody interaction, that that person says that you that you get them right. So for me, every time I have an interaction with somebody when I walk away, I want them to say Phil gets me. The last thing I want is for them to say filled us and get me. So let me give you an example. Let's just say somebody on your team is that red, right? They're very direct, their fast-paced, their goal-oriented, and I'd like to waste time. The last thing you wanna do is walk into their office or their space and sit down. Maybe you're one of those maybe are yellow and you'd like to talk about family and the weekends. And you walk into the office or their space and you sit down and you say, hey, how are things going? How is the weekend, how's your emily? You start talking about your families, start talking about your pets. You're going to actually drive this person crazy because they're on the move. They're trying to accomplish their goals for the day. They've got there on the clock, they're trying to work towards something and you are slowing them down, right? Don't do that to them because when you waste 20 minutes of their time and you walk out, they're gonna say, Phil doesn't get me, right. I got a, I got things to do right. And they feel like you're wasting their time for that person. If I know that they're red and I'm not on yellow, I need to modify me a bit to accommodate them. So I think about okay, I'm walking into John's office. He's a red, doesn't like to waste time. I need to kick it up a notch. Okay. And I walk in, I'm going to get in and get out. So I walked and say John, and I wanted to talk to you about this specific thing. I need this XYZ in out that work and that person as soon as I leave you say Phil gets me right, right to the point, no fluff, right to the point. Now, on the other hand, OK. If I'm walking in to speak to somebody who's a yellow and they like to talk about their family and the weekend and maybe other people on the team. And I like to spend some time in a relationship builder and I'm a read, I don't want to walk in and say, Chuck cup, I need this XYZ and out. No, that person gonna say they'll doesn't get me. I want to walk in and I want to sit down and I want to have a metaphorical cup of tea with this person, right? Hey, how are things going? Is there anything you need from me? Hey, the team has been talking about this or how is your family, how is your, how is your son's literally game or, you know, how is your cat, right? I want to have a conversation and I sit down. I want to relax. I'm going to slow everything down. I want to slow down my conversation. I want to slow down my tempo of breathing. I want to make sure that I make a connection with this person. I want to be relaxed so that when I leave this person says Fill gets me if I come in and say chopped up, this persons gonna say Bill doesn't get me, that could be a real detriment to our relationship and the impact that it could have, could be negative. Okay, then, then we have the other two. We have the blue, who's the social person, right? Upbeat, optimistic, positive, right? When I walked into this person's office or wherever I'm high-five. And then well, you know, today with our situation here, we're not high-fiving people. Would you get at a metaphorical high-five? How are things going? Be optimistic? Talk about things that are fun. This person's like to socialize more in a, in a fun and upbeat way. Don't be labour them with details, give them bullet points, right? If you sit there and you start to share all kinds of details with this person has birds are gonna be like, oh my word, I hate details. So be careful not to give too much information all at once. You can give them the rundown. A quick bullet points a look. I'm going to send you an email with all the details. Let them kinda slowly devoured that stuff later. And then just say, hey, good worker with you, you know, things like that. So be optimistic with this person. Don't be too detail oriented with this person. As a matter of fact, if you're sending an email to a blue, make sure you put all the important information on the top of that email. Because if that e-mails so long that they have to scroll, they're not even going to read it. Ok, short bullet points to the point. Get the important stuff right in the beginning. Otherwise, they're probably going to ignore it. The email, OK, on the other side we've got the green Now remember, blues and greens are opposites and reds and yellows are opposites. But now we have the green. The green is analytical, the detail oriented. They like to just do their thing and they like to be alone, right? They don't even want you to come into their office. So maybe the way you communicate to this person is more digitally, right? Give them all the information, you give them all the details being very linear, okay? Because if you walk in and you say high-five metaphoric, they are high-five real with this person, hey, how's it going to deceive the game last night and talking about all these fun things. And you're really emotional and they get all excited around them. You, they're gonna say, Bill doesn't get me, right, get out of here, slow down, Get away from me. You're too emotional. Don't do that to that person. We wanna make sure that we modify ourselves, our behavior to match and mirror that behave, the personality style of other people. Because remember, the goal is right for us to walk away and say, Hey, Phil gets me, and that's not going to happen if you don't make those modifications. So try to identify the personality style of all the people on your team and then make minor adjustments in the most authentic way possible, okay, to accommodate that style so that when you're interacting with them, it feels good, it resonates with them and it doesn't put them off. That's how you build great relationships both professionally and personally. You might want to try to think about this, doing this at home as well. So you're gonna be able to download here a personality style assessment so you can understand what personality style you are. I do not recommend that you hand these out to your people and say take these because you'd probably get them thinking What's going on here. So I would probably not do that. But there's also a document here that you can download that will give you some details about each of these styles so that you can look at your people and then identify what style they are based on the information in this particular PDF. So that'll give you a good idea. Okay, so and I'll also give you in this document some Tells, right. The different ways that people may walk, talk, dress speak, right? That could give you some indication as to what style there to try to help you narrow it down so that you get a good understanding of each of the styles. And that way you can be like a chameleon, changer colors slightly. Don't want to do this in an authentic way, feels good to sort of match theirs so that you and this other person or these other people resonate and it really improves your relationships. Ok, this is the most important part of this entire course is understanding other peoples that you have great relationships. Because if you have great relationships, people will follow you. People will do what they need to do for you. They won't just be doing things because they need to do it. They'll be doing things because they want to do it, because they value you. Think about this as a managed, you know, you'd have a manager now and you've had a manager in the past, you back probably had some good ones and some bad ones. The best ones are the ones that understood you. The best ones are the ones that value. The best ones are the ones that really had a good resonance with you when you around them, okay? Be that type of manager for the people on your team. And I promise you, you'll continue to grow your team to continue doing a great job. You'll have people supporting you. And most people, when they have a great manager, they lift themselves up to a higher level. They wanted to be at work. You know, the, the thing that hurts people the most is having a bad manager, right? When people quit their job, they usually are firing their manager. Don't be the person that keeps getting fired. Be the person that fires people up by understanding them, understanding yourself, doing the things that you've learned today throughout the course of this course here. And be the most effective and best version of you that you can be. Hope you enjoyed this course. I really enjoyed working with you and look, you know, the best thing that you can do is start taking a few of these concepts to start implementing them right away. Don't just, don't just click out of this course and be done with it. Take action, right? If you want to be, you spent the time with being, if you want to be a better manager and a better version of yourself to get to act on that. Now, enjoy being a manager. That could be one of the most rewarding things that you can do. And hopefully you get to the next level and continue to grow and your leadership. And when you do, I promise you, not only when you feel great, but the people around you will as well take care.