Start Your Own Life Coaching Business: Part 2 | Libby Seery | Skillshare

Start Your Own Life Coaching Business: Part 2

Libby Seery, World Renown Self Development Expert

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8 Lessons (32m)
    • 1. A Refresher On The Basic Skills Of Coaching

      2:49
    • 2. Life Coaching Basics: Listening

      7:44
    • 3. Life Coaching Basics: Questioning

      5:29
    • 4. Being Client Centred

      3:21
    • 5. The Clean Language Model

      2:29
    • 6. Clean Language Examples

      4:19
    • 7. Sequence And Source Questions

      4:30
    • 8. Clean Language Questions

      1:06

About This Class

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We start Part 2 of the course by covering the basics of life coaching.  This includes a refresher exercise for those students are haven’t taken my first life coaching course.  We’ll be looking at the basics of listening and questioning as well as the importance of being client-centred. 

The concluding section of Part 2 is all about the “Clean Language” Model of coaching.  We use case studies as examples to demonstrate this very effective model of communication, including the use of developing, sequence and source questions. You’re also expected to go through the resources attached for this course. Part two content include:

A Refresher on The Basic Skills of Coaching         

Life Coaching Basics: Listening   

Resource - Listening Skills

Resource - The Four Way Process

Life Coaching Basics: Questioning            

Resource - Types of Questioning

Being Client Centred     

The Clean Language Model        

Resource - Clean Language

Clean Language Questions          

Clean Language Examples and Developing Questions     

Sequence and Source Questions             

Transcripts

1. A Refresher On The Basic Skills Of Coaching: in this lecture will be looking at the basic skills every life coach should have it in their tool bag in order to help their clients reach their full potential life. Coaching, like any discipline, comes with the unique mix of skills and attributes this make its distinct from other similar human potential pursuits. The basics of what a coach does are actually neither hard to learn nor put into practice. However, mastering these skills takes years of experience and, of course, many failures. The primary skill that a coach has is that of listening. Listening, as you may have heard, is very different from merely hearing and active listening is a valuable skill not just for a life coach, but for everyone. When you actively listen, you suspend your desire to speak, to form opinions or to make judgments. You simply listen and notes everything that is being said while trying to understand it. Nothing more. The next skills that every coach must have is Thea Bility to ask the right challenging questions. A challenging question is not a confrontational or judgmental one, but a question that takes what someone has said and spends it in such a way that it makes them change perspective or apply thought to an issue that they would have otherwise not have done. The types of questions this a life coach formulates are short, clear and to the point they moved the crying forward. They are open questions that urge the client to respond with more than a simple yes or no Later in the course will look at one specific model known as the clean language model. When we ask coaching style questions or are deliberately challenging, we aim to be constructively challenging. The intention is to help the person grow, not to criticize or belittle them. As a coach, you must also master the ability to hold people to account for things that they promise if you can effectively hold people to account and make them feel responsible for reaching their goals. This will help them move forward significantly 2. Life Coaching Basics: Listening: listening skills. There are five aspects. Associate ID with listening. One ignoring, we hear. But we ignore what is being said to us to pretending, pretending to listen, making acknowledging noises and or gestures but carry on with what we are doing. Selective only picking up on points. We want to hear active, giving the clients 100% attention and pathetic emphasizing with the client active listening as a coach, the only aspects of listening that she should be concerned with are active listening and empathetic listening. Active listening is giving the clients when speaking, 100% of your attention, replying only when the clients has fully finished speaking. Replying immediately would suggest that you had already thought of a reply before the client had finished speaking, meaning you have assumed what was being said and that she was not actively listening. During the coaching process, you will always be engaged in active listening, but you were also needs to be listening empathetically, empathetic listening, empathetic listening is listening without judgment, even when opposing views to your own beliefs and feelings are being voiced and pathetic. Listening involves you becoming your client and understanding how they feel and are feeling while they express their own views. The key to this art is in uncovering the feelings behind that statement and to tap into these feelings in order to empathize with the client. To be successful in business or in life, we need to be effective. Communicators and pacy trust, understanding, sympathy make for great communicators. The crucial skill off empathetic listening is a way of listening and responding to another individual that improves mutual understanding and trust. It enables you to receive and interpret precisely your client's wishes so you can react appropriately. This response being instrumental in building good report, empathetic listening trust and respect relaxed his clients and promotes the surfacing of key information and creating a safe, collaborative working environment. The highest form of listening empathetic listening is listening with intent to comprehend your clients frame of reference and feelings. You must listen with your ears, your eyes on your heart. Empathetic listening is profoundly therapeutic and healing Next to physical survival. A human psychological survival is most important to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated on and to be appreciated. Empathetic listening is a core skill that's will strengthen coach clients, report and the effectiveness off the coaching process. Empathetic listening provides a willingness to lets the client dominates the discussion to to enable you to pay attention to what is being said. Three. Caring knots to interrupt and full use off open ended questions. Five. Sensitive to clients emotions. Six. The ability to reflect back to your client, the substance and feelings being expressed by listening well, you acknowledge the client increased the client self respect and confidence and let the clients know they are important and not being judged. You'll also gain your client's cooperation established. Trust Andi. Elicit openness. Ask questions. This is an important part of good communication, asking open ended questions when the discussion comes to a dead end. Questions like how watch why, where and when. You may also ask reflective questions. These are questions relating to what your client has told you previously. For example, your clients may have said to you something like, I don't trust my co workers anymore. You may ask your client to reflect on this statement, and one possible way could be for you to reply. You said that you did not trust your co workers anymore. May I ask what has led you to believe you can no longer trust them, reflect after everything. When a client has discussed their issues with you, it is time to offer your interpretation off What is being said. This not only opens the conversation up for deeper discussion, but it is an opportunity for you to ensure that you have understood correctly the meaning of what they have said. Reflection is a great way to round a conversation up. Do not underestimate the power of active listening. And don't underestimate the superpower off. Empathetic listening communication is often referred to as a two way thing, but for optimum communication, you the coach should employ the four way process method the full bay process method one listen to acknowledge watch the client is saying by a body language, facial expression and sounds. Number three. Clarify what your clients has said and number four respond and ask questions 3. Life Coaching Basics: Questioning: questioning what, Why, when, How, where and who? The percentage of balance between coach listening to cry and is 70% listening and 30% questioning This percentage balance reflects asking Andi empowering difference. Questions provoke difference responses, compounding questions, asking multiple questions at a time this is too much. Leading questions follows an a gender manipulates response, for example. But you do like coaching, don't you? And tax questions. These are great for getting your client to think in a positive way. They end in, isn't it? Aren't they? Can't you? For example? Your options are fantastic, aren't they? Reflective questions encourages the client to consider what they have said. But on a deeper level. For example, what exactly does that mean for you? Challenging questions gets your client to question What's they have said? For example, how do you hear that? How does that mean that? What evidence do you have that this is true? Have you ever bean wrong in the past? What is so bad about that? Refraining questions, taking a negative comment from your client as putting a positive spin on it. For example, the clients want say she gets ALS the good jobs anyway and the coach could respond. What could you learn from her? Focusing questions are great if your client is stuck on reasons why they can't do something . For example, what is the first thing you need to could do? Want to do what stars achieving this give you closed? Questions elicits a yes or no response. Open questions are great for opening up discussions. Expanding questions takes the clients into the realms of creative possibilities. For example, what if what would you do if you knew you could not fail? If a miracle were to happen? How would you know? Embedded questions? This is a way of checking your clients commitment to a task. For example, I'm not going to ask you. Will you do this by next week? As this is your choice comparison questions, Our clients can make a comparison and then forget what they're comparing against. This should be addressed with, um, for example, Bester than who compared to what? Worse than watch lesser than what? Curious questions. I'm curious to know how you know that I'd like to know what makes you say that. The why question. The white question is often avoided in coaching as it can be met with negativity and may cause the client to become defensive. You can still ask the essence of why, but deliver it to the clients in a different way to avoid sounding aggressive. For example, what makes you think that what's makes this importance to you? What's do you think drives you to do that? Here are some great questions to ask when you think clients may want to do something new, but they are unsure of What's that something is. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? If you could have your dream come true, what would it be? What would be an audacious goal for you if there was nothing in your way? What would you dio who inspires you? What is your vision for your future? 4. Being Client Centred: having the ability to see another persons perspective, even if you don't personally agree with it, is one of the most important skills that a coach can have. It not only builds trust with your client, but it allows you to understand your clients motivations much more than otherwise. There's more to this than just seeing another person's point of view. However, by using this skill of empathy, you can imagine what it's like to be that person and really feel what they might have felt like. As any given time, a good coach has mastered the art of providing support and encouragement without becoming a crutch for their client to lean on. The point of a coach is not to be a point of support for someone indefinitely, but to help them reach their goals and empower them to set and reach future girls or by themselves. Life coaching is as much an art as it is a science. So the best life coaches have finally honed intuitions and have learned to both trust and use that intuition to the benefit off their clients. So while analytical logical problem sold ing is a key skill for any life coach they cannot be purely analytical people. They need to have an understanding off the intuitive side as well. Finally, off all the skills a life coach is meant to have, being client centred is certainly the most critical. A life coach can never bring their own agenda or other baggage into the coaching relationship. This is always about the cry int, and never about the coach. Being client centred is priority number one, and if anything makes a coach stray from the path they need to either step right on it or consider referring. That's crying to someone else. The basic skills of coaching are not a list of things you can learn and then never have to think about again. A life coach must live these principles through their work. It's not a purely academic matter. The success of your coaching efforts depend on principled practice. No matter how many years you worked as a coach, Andi, no matter how many successes you may have, you will always need to check yourself against the basics and remain true to a life coaches path. Keep this in mind as we explore more complex models of coaching in the rest of this course . In fact, keep it in mind for the rest of your career as a professional life coach. If you do, you'll be setting yourself up for a hugely rewarding coaching Korea. 5. The Clean Language Model: in this lecture, we're going to be discussing the clean language model as one of the fundamental tools of coaching. At the very best of times. Clear communication between two people is a hard thing to achieve. What we mean to say is not necessarily what the person on the receiving end of the message understands. And the reverse is, of course, also true. Our use of language is rich and complex. We freely use metaphors to describe our experiences and repel meanings up in a tapestry of symbolism. Psychologists and other academics have long since realized that if you pay attention to the metaphorical language of a client, Andi run the conversation within their own frame of reference, you'll get much better results When it comes to the coaching relationship. It is off utmost importance that both the coach and the person being coach exhibits pure sinking and clarity of awareness. The client needs toe have a clear understanding off the decisions they make. To this end, it is the role of the coach to clean up the clients language so that only the rial meaning remains. And both parties have a very clear understanding off the communication. So How do we go about doing this? There are a number of key principles that govern the practice of clean language. Always listen attentively. Keep your opinions and advice to yourself. Stick to the clean language questions, which will be discussing shortly, listen to the answer and then ask further clean language questions related to the clients. Response. Andi Repeat until you reach a point where further understanding on either persons part is not forthcoming. 6. Clean Language Examples: in our first example, we have Frank. Frank believes that he should a pry for information, but he also feels like he doesn't have the courage to do it, even though he really wants to. We also have Denise. Denise wants to be a model, but she has a prosthetic leg, which she believes is holding her back. And finally, we have. Thomas Thomas still lives with his parents. He's never managed to scrape enough money together or hold a job long enough to move out. Things are reaching a tipping point of time, and he feels if he doesn't get his act together soon, his parents are most likely to kick him out. Ready or not. Okay, let's go back to Frank. In one of his coaching sessions, Frank says, I need to be more courageous. So in this example, X for Frank represents being courageous following on from that. The coach using the first off the clean language questions that we looked at in the previous lecture. But then reply. Frank, can I ask, what kind of courageous is more courageous to this? Frank may reply Courageous like a line to which the coach would then use the second of the clean Language questions and ask Frank, and is there anything else about wanting to be courageous like a lion? Frank? Notice that to the coach uses the exact words of the person that they're posing. The questions, too. Although it may sound a bit funny, these questions have been carefully formulated so that you can explore the metaphorical language of your client without mixing ing your own influence. This is why we stick to the formula of questions. You'll be amazed to see the reactions people have to their own words. Let's now look at the rest off the developing questions. Number three through to number six. So number three and where is X? Or where abouts is X number four and that's X. Like what? This particular question gets you the metaphor that you can then further explore with your clients. Question five And is there a relationship between X and why and number six on when X. What happens to why? Using these developing questions, what would we ask Dinis and Thomas from our earlier examples? Dinis tells her coach, I want to walk a run away. I want to dance, even But when I do I feel like my leg is an anchor? The coach may ask, What kind of ankle is that? Anchor Denise Denise gives it some thought and replies, It's a heavy one. It feels way more heavy than usual. Using Thomas's example, Thomas shares with his coach. I want to be free from my parents and all of their nonsense. I really want to be my own man. Staying with these examples in the next lecture, we're going to continue the questioning using sequence and source questions. 7. Sequence And Source Questions: the next set of questions in your toolbox unknown a sequence and source questions the's questions. Let's your client get their thoughts in order and think about where their goals and things related to their metaphors come from. Here they are. And then what happens? Well, and what happens next? The next question and what happens just before exe meeting on And where could X come from? If you remember in the example off Frank, his coach asked. And is there anything else about wanting to be courageous like a lion? In this instance, Frank might reply to his coach. Something like a lion doesn't have fear. He doesn't care what anyone thinks. So he does what he wants. The coach might then ask, and then what happens? To which Frank could say Others will then respect me and what I want to achieve in life. In the case of Denise, the coach asks, And what happens next? Denise, To which she replies, I start thinking about how everyone is looking at my leg and not it's May. The more I think about it, the heavy and my leg becomes. I don't want to think about it while I'm trying to model. In Thomas's case, the coach asks again. And what happens next? Schamus? To which he may reply. Well, then I'm free like a bird. I can do what I want. I can then make my own choices. Next, in Clean Language will move on to questions, which are known as intention questions The's served to elicit from the client what they feel they need to do or want to do. These are the questions. And what would X like to have happen? The next question and what needs to happen for X and the last question and can X happen now ? The coach, in the case of Frank, may ask, and what needs to happen Frank, to be courageous, like a lion. In the case of Denise, the coach would ask, And what needs to happen, Denise, for you not to think about it. And for Thomas, the coach would ask, And can you be free like a bird? Thomas? At this point, the clients may come up with any number of responses, which may start a new cycle of questioning. The session continues as time allows, until you can drill down to the meaningful bedrock off the language. Now don't worry. If you can't necessarily make big progress in one session, it can easily go beyond that. Just make sure that your use of clean language doesn't make the line of questioning go round In circles. Clean language questions are not only useful to engender reflection and understanding, but also to simply get more information information that will tend to be of better quality than those with less carefully designed formulation. With a bit of practice, you'll find these 12 questions to be very powerful tools in your coaching arsenal. I've included these examples in the downloadable resource section off this lecture. 8. Clean Language Questions: So what are these clean language questions? In all, there are 12 clean language questions. The 1st 6 are known as developing questions. Developing questions are questions that are most useful in expanding on the statements made by your cry ins. The 1st 2 questions are the most commonly used in a coaching session, and these arts follows number one. And what kind of X is that? X Question Number T, And is there anything else about X when we refer to X and in some of the later examples will be using why they refer to specific objects or subjects that's the client brings to the table.