Start Conversations with Anyone: Master good conversation starters to be more confident. | Felipe Yanez | Skillshare

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Start Conversations with Anyone: Master good conversation starters to be more confident.

teacher avatar Felipe Yanez, Confidence & Social Skills Coach

Watch this class and thousands more

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

11 Lessons (47m)
    • 1. Welcome to Starting Conversations Course

    • 2. 4 Foolproof Ways to Start Conversation

    • 3. Overcome Your Fears of Starting Conversation

    • 4. Remove Your Social Mental Block

    • 5. 7 Body Language Tricks to Start Conversation

    • 6. Start Conversations with Service People

    • 7. Start Conversations at Social Gatherings

    • 8. Start Conversations at Other Venues

    • 9. Start Conversations on the Streets

    • 10. Create a list of questions you are curious about

    • 11. Congratulations!!

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About This Class

  • Do you shy away from starting conversations even though you wish you could meet more people? Perhaps you’re afraid of being rejected, ignored and feeling awkward.

  • Do you feel that you have no idea on how to start a conversation or “break the ice”?

In this course on how to start conversations you will overcome all of these problems and be able to strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. The course includes some very simple social skills tips and conversational openers to start meeting people today!

The course outlines how to start conversations in 4 easy ways, how to overcome fears (specially of rejection), correct confident body language, and specific examples/scenarios on how to apply the 4 ways to start conversations. Towards the end of the course you will get the chance to come up with your own unique conversational openers to start practicing!

A key to understanding how to be successful starting conversations is that the first impression is made before you even open your mouth. As you get a hold of your mindset (internal dialogue), and body language you’ll be able to say almost anything and it will work!!

Meet Your Teacher

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Felipe Yanez

Confidence & Social Skills Coach


Hi, I'm Felipe. Welcome to my SkillShare profile! 

I've been in the self-development path for nearly 20 years. I focus on helping you improve your confidence and create abundance in your social, dating, financial & overall life.

My Mission is to help you find love, significance, purpose, self-confidence, and discover your limitless potential through inner transformation.

My goal is to produce the absolute best courses and help you level up your confidence. I'm very excited to show you how to hack your mindset, self-image, and habits to live a life true to you, and beyond your imagination! ;)

Thank you for taking the time to check out my profile. Check out my courses which I have created ... See full profile

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1. Welcome to Starting Conversations Course: - How's it going, guys? My name is Philip, and welcome to this conversational skills course. Now, in this course, I'm gonna be talking about everything from you know, how to get over your fears of starting conversations with people with the right mindset is a swell. As with the right self talk, ISS and we were going toe be going over specific situations, specific venue specific, um, situations and people where you might be interested in starting a conversation with I will give you the exact examples in the four ways that I use to start conversations. A swell as you'll be going through exercises to come up with your own waste of starting conversations as well. And that is what you're gonna be going through now. This courses for anyone that wants to be more social that wants to create more of a social life style on social way of being. When you are living your life, when you're going to work, when you're going to a coffee shop, when you're going out for a party or social or a networking event. Ah, and it could be used for anything from again business networking event, dating or just expanding your social network. So if that is something that interests you, that it's something that you want to gain. You want to gain that confidence off. Being more social and increasing your social network than this course is for you. It's going to specialize specifically in starting conversations, so check it out and I'll see you in the first lesson. 2. 4 Foolproof Ways to Start Conversation: All right. So in this first lesson, I want to talk a little bit about the four ways to start conversations and that are completely foolproof and that always, always work. After this, I'm gonna be going over the fears and any kind of limiting believes that might come up and probably will come up if you're not used to starting conversations with people. So the four ways are the following. The 1st 1 is curiosity. So I like to think of the four ways not just as techniques, but as intentions. So the first intention and the first thing you want to be thinking about is what are you curious about? Are you curious about? Maybe you moved to a new city and you're trying to figure out what to do. Oh, you you need some information on where to go. Maybe you want social as you want to go to a bar. What's a good bar? Or maybe you're into meditation or your inter dancing. What are the cool spots for that? Right. So that is the genuine curiosity you can bring. It could also be situation on where you are. Maybe, and I'll be going through specific examples. I said go through this course, but you might be, you know, just out and about when you see something or someone that you know kind of calls your attention and you're curious about them or what they're doing or something like that. So, again, curiosity is the first way. Now, the second way is simply humor and having a good time. So if you see anything, most of time a situational, unless you have already something that you always say, which I'm gonna be talking about as well as we go through the each situation. But humor is a great way to break the ice. So you see something that's funny to you, especially. Doesn't matter. They find that funny again. It's all about having fun for you. Once you're having fun, people, other people have fun with you. And so if you see something that's funny, you simply bring it up and talk about it. Or if you have something that you always say, that's funny. It's another way to break the ice, and I will be giving you specific samples of things that I do A so we go through the different situations and the different venues where you'll be starting conversations now the third thing in the third way that you want to start conversations. It's simply being off service and being giving a zealous, inviting people. So I'll tell you a little bit about that. So whenever you see someone that is the needs some help, maybe they are. They need some help opening their doors because they're carrying things. Maybe it's an employee that's walking into, uh, you know, a venue and they're carrying some stuff and they need some help opening the door or you're simply opening doors. Whatever it is, you're being of service, and you're always looking out to see how you can help people. One of the ways that I'll be talking about later on in this course is simply starting, Ah, different kind of conversation with service people by trying to give them a good time and not trying really given them a good time. But joking around asking questions and so forth is simply with the intention of giving and up in the miss keep from their normal day to day life. So that is 1/3 way now the third the Fourth Way and has a very specific application, but it could be all these continues. Basically anywhere, at any time with anyone is just how you do it and how you present yourself, which I'll be talking about body language as well in some of the following lectures. So the Fourth Way is introducing yourself. So introducing yourself when you know you maybe you're at a social gathering or you are in networking event, it's a very, you know, very carefree and normal we to start a conversation, and it's very normal in that kind of a context. You can make it normal, and you can do basically everywhere you have if you have the right energy. But in this case, I would recommend, if especially if you're starting out to use it in turn context to make it work. So those are the fourth ways for ways that you want to start conversations, and again I'm gonna be going through them. I say gonna go through each example off starting conversations in different venues as well as in different situations, so stay tuned 3. Overcome Your Fears of Starting Conversation: all right. Now that I've talked about the four ways to start conversations lister with the inner game , off starting conversations and what might come up. So the first thing is really any kind of fears that you might have going on. And again, This has to do what self talk. It has to do with any of your past, where you've been rejected, or anything like that, or for whatever reason, you're trying to use this course for it, whether it's for business spending, your social network dating, uh, just for fun to bring a new element into your lifestyle. Whatever it is, there might be seven fears that come up. The most common fear is the fear of rejection. It's similar to, you know, doing presentations and getting rejected or feeling rejected on stage. So whatever fuse you have, you want to write them down. So this is, you know, and exercise that you want to do. You want to write down what your biggest fears are With this, it might be that the person or the woman I's gonna, you know, think that you're weird for certain a conversation. Aziz. Well, as they're going to respond in a very negative manner. They're gonna be, um, not wanting to talk to me, and they are gonna ignore me. That was a fear, or they were gonna laugh at me. Another fear. So whatever is the fear, they you know, the main fears that you have going on, you want to write them down, And once you write down all your fears and what the craziest thing that's gonna happen and what you're really, really afraid of, you want to write them down. And first of all, realize that doubt those fears realized that that is very unlikely that it will happen. Yeah, some people might be busy, and they might, you know, you go on about the way and have time. Maybe during the day when they're going upto work or they're gonna step, Maybe you encounter them on a coffee shop and they're going back to work, so that can happen. But other than that, you know, we have very irrational fears. We have fears that we're gonna be ridiculed in front of other people in front of our friends. So that was one a big common fear for me like Oh, you know, if my friends are there, people see me getting you know, rejected. Or if I look awkward starting conversations with people, it's gonna look like I'm trying to our I'm gonna look weird. That's a big fear. So whatever those fears are writing down, I guess, like I said and then begin to write down, it's the opposite of those things so you can begin to visualize the opposite. So one of the most common affirmations that I talk about in my courses is, um, you know, I'm always I love talking to everyone. I'm always talking to everyone, especially. And then you put in whatever type of people groups or whatever you might be afraid of, especially this kind of person, especially groups Baba or especially in this situation, because they're, you know, they're always super friendly with me. And in fact, I have to end the interactions first because they won't stop talking. So that's one of the most common informations that I give away to my clients as well as in these courses, and you can use it again. First of all, it puts you in a positive state of put you to stay where you know you're expecting a positive result. Second involved a major, a lot less needy because you're put in a frame where you are the one ending the conversation because they won't stop talking because you're so interesting. So again, those sort of things. So whatever fuse you have going on, switch him and begin Teoh to see the opposite begin to see the positive things that can happen and will happen. And once you do that, you begin to project a different energy, and you'll be a lot more chill more relaxed and calm, cool and collective when you're are starting conversations. So that is the biggest thing I believe. In fact, in the next lesson, I'm gonna be going over other mental blocks That might be keeping you from all this stuff and another exercise on how to do this kind of writing in journaling to switch it around and something that I actually did you know, 10 or so years ago when I was mashed doing this whole being social thing so I would be going over that for now. Write that stuff down, switch it to the positive, and begin to, you know, a firm to yourself, This is your new reality begin to visualize it everyday, begin to take it to yourself and, um and yeah, so begin to see that as the way that you are in the way that people react to you. A supposed to the fears. Now let's go into the next lecture. 4. Remove Your Social Mental Block: all right, so the next lecture is similar to the previous one. In terms of writing and rewriting your thoughts. It's all about self talk here. So in this way, in this part, you already went over your your fears. And that's again. That is what keeps us really locked in and not really taken action. So the first thing I want to mention about that before I go into mental blocks that you might have going on in limited believes is that a great way to overcome fierce is to stop wanting, um, stuff wanting validation, stop wanting attention. I have a few courses on confidence on releasing emotions like that as well as I'm gonna be talking about, you know, kind of reframing, you know, like I mentioned the reframing part that's gonna help us well, but you want to make it about giving, giving a good time, giving good energy listening, and those sort of things are gonna be fundamental in terms of getting rid of your neediness and your fear. All right, But now let's talk about self talk and how to switch then, as well as what limiting believes in mental blog's. You might have going on some of the most common ones. That would say so if it's during day, One of the most common mental blocks and limited believes is that they are busy. So when they are, you know, walking, you know, whoever you're trying to start a conversation with or you're interested in getting to know or having a conversation with, they're busy. So they're going somewhere. That's common one another one is that maybe there with some people. And so you feel that you would be interrupting. That's another one, especially if it's on the weekend and people are going about with a group of fuel like you're interrupting, Um, and so instead of feeling like you're actually giving value, you feel like you're taking value away, and that's gonna come across in your energy. It's gonna make you more nervous, and a little you're gonna have kind of an awkward energy if you're coming from that angle that you're interrupting and so they would see it that way. Another one is that you have nothing interesting to say or what will I say not only to start the conversation, which we're gonna talk about the specifics in this course But what do I say? After I saw that conversation, how do I have a great conversation? And so we're gonna mainly focus on this course on, um, I'm really starting the conversation, and I'm gonna, you know, create some other things that go on to having a great conversation and beyond. But in this course, let's focus on that. So that might be a limiting belief. So, again, whatever limited movies he believes you have, like this one, you want to switch them around. So I'm the most interesting person ever. So whatever negative believes you might have, you want to switch him to the positive, but to an extreme positive. So a question that I often get asked is well, feels like I'm lying to myself. Or that sounds a little arrogant, the recent Why you want to get to that extremists? Because a lot of the times we've been doing these negative south talk behavior for so long that we need something extreme to jolt us out of that mentality on the fastest way eyes really to create some extreme positive affirmations and visualizations. So one of them is your the most interesting person ever. Another one is that you're having to in the interactions first, because people will stop talking to you because you're so interesting in terms of an affirmation, for example, for people being either busy on their way somewhere or or they're with someone else. You can say I love talking to people and they love talking to me. In fact, especially people that are with, you know, other people. And, you know, they always want to stop, even if they're you know, even if they have somewhere to go, they want to stop and they already want to meet. They already want to talk to me before they even meet me like those kind of things you want to say those kind of things to yourself said that you have the confidence you have the energy on when I mean energy. I don't mean just physical energy, but more importantly, have the right mentality and projecting the right energy, the right body language when you're interacting with people. So that is how you want to change them. Takes up, take a moment. Take, I would say like the last lesson. Take maybe 10 15 minutes to do that, A way to do it have. You really are very serious about this and getting this together. One of the things that I would do is I would take a little bit of, ah, journal. And when I am out and about, I would get those fears and I would write down what thoughts would come up. Even if I didn't start conversations. I would just write down my conversation that I had with myself before trying when I wanted to start conversations, and so a lot of these believes would come up. So that might be, ah, helpful thing to do to actually journal when you're out and about so that you have more accurate, more accurate sense of your limiting believes and mental blocks. So that's something very important. Some of the things that might come up as well in terms of mental blocks and limited believes, are the ones that you have about yourself again. I'm not interesting. Have nothing to say. I'm not attractive. Um, I am being smart or what you're wearing. Anything that might get in the way of you being social on a regular basis is gonna be It's gonna limit you, so you want to switch in your head, and I got to tell you that the most important thing you have going on when it comes to certain conversations is what you're visualizing in when you're telling yourself on DSO that is super important. It's not the conversation you're gonna have with people, but it's a conversation you're having with yourself. That was a big relax ation for me, and it's not what you're wearing. It's not if you calm your hair, is not you know, all this stuff. I've been in situations. There've been days where, you know, I'm just wearing sweat pants or whatever and you know, it's in the morning having showered, he added, With that kind of stuff, and I go to the supermarket or something and things are going great. And there's other times when I'm looking very, very dapper rate and very good, and things were now working out. It's all in your energy. It's all in your mentality and what you're telling yourself. So anything else, it's an excuse. It really is. So that's what I have to say about that. In the next lesson, we're gonna be talking about body language and the right body language when it comes to certain conversations and initiating new interactions 5. 7 Body Language Tricks to Start Conversation: All right, so in this lecture, I want to talk about body language. First of all, I want to say when you have your inner talk together and you're visualizing the right things and you have the right mentality and mindset, then your body language will take care of itself. And the way that you have to move the way that you have to speak and all that kind of stuff will be irrelevant. But until that time, this is incredibly helpful. So I'm gonna give you seven tips on great body language to start conversations in initiate interactions. So the 1st 1 is its distance. Uh, this is important when it comes to interacting with new people. Now, you would have you want to give enough distance to people, for example, if let's see that you have a question, you're a little bit lost and you're on the street, and, um and you're you see someone that you might want start conversation with, especially because you trying to get directions so as you get you know, as you get closer, um, when they they walk, if they kind of start, they keep kind of walking. You don't want to turn around and begin to chase and temple thing. You want to just keep your body street, um, in Just turn a little bit this way like that and keep talking. Keep saying whatever you're seeing, but don't change them, so you want to give him me. No space as well as a lot of the times is best to not be facing street forward. So, for example, in terms of distance, I also want to talk about your positioning in reading relations to this person you have. You go straight up to a person. It's gonna freak him out a little bit. So if I do this, this is kind of like confrontational. It's kind of weird, but if I do something like this, you know, it's a little bit. I'm getting cut off a little bit, but if I do a little bit more sideways, it doesn't see. Medicine doesn't seem as what's it called threatening or intimidating me or even creepy or whatever, right? So it doesn't seem as again confrontational. That's a way to again bridge the distance gap and begin ah, conversation So it could be, Let's see that you are next to someone at a bar. You might kind of just talk over your shoulder like, Okay, I'm going Cheers or something like that, Right? But you're not turning around. And, hey, what's going on? Like chasing them, You know, that sort of thing Or being Teoh leaning in two months. So again, the position of your body and the distance is very important. Sometimes people will be very, especially when you have the right energy. People will be very, very engaged with you. So they might get really close to you, or they might again turn around right away and be like, Hey, I'm super interested in what's going on And who are you? You seem cool. So that might be the the reaction. You should be getting that reaction very often when you have the right energy. So but it's not something you want to start with in regards to that and get feeling making people feel more comfortable. Now. The second thing that that you want to really, uh, keep in mind is eye contact. So when I'm starting a conversation with someone specially, let's see that you know whether whether they're walking towards me or something like that, I generally do not look at them until we are maybe about about six feet away. Eso. Until that point, I make eye contact and I do not break it. Other than that, I might be looking somewhere else, even if there's nothing interesting. I might just pretend like I'm looking, you know, at a tree if it's during the day and I'm walking down the street or buildings or whatever and until because people here's the thing people feel when people are staring at them. Have you ever gone that feeling? Or, you know, if you can try this experiment, you look at people from far away and they look around like what's for some recent energetically people could feel we can feel when people are staring at us. So that is something you want to avoid, especially if you're gonna be starting a conversation with that person. So you did not want to stare, they will feel it, and they be kind of creepy and will be kind of weird. Um, you know, again, there's exceptions. Definitely, if you have the right energy, you can get away with a lot of different things. But as a rule of thumb, you don't want to stare until you are facing them and you know you catch there. I Then you. You keep that eye contact, maybe smile not or see whatever you're gonna say, you know from there. So the next body language trick would be simplistic. Smile. So, master, being someone that smile, especially when you're out and about where you're at a social event, you're a lot more approachable That way, if you're smiling, people are gonna be, ah, a lot more comfortable to either start conversation with you or when you start a conversation with them. The next thing is slow delivery movements. So if, for example, you're you're at a bar and it's a networking you've been and you turn around like that or you see someone like that, it can. It's It's a little too jittery. You want to have a slow, deliberate movements as part of your demeanor. It's important it puts people at ease as well, and it makes you look a lot more confident and more relaxed. The next thing I want to talk about is your voice. You want to speak up so especially let's say that you are asking for a direction and someone is walking towards you. You want to let them know that you're speaking to them, Not to someone else. So speak up. Uh, and don't be afraid to be heard by them by others again. If that's a fear that you might have that people are gonna be judging you for starting a conversation besides this person that you're talking to you again. Switch those Limited believes other than that, speak up. Ah, and speak. The next thing I do want to say about that is also speak slowly. Um, you want to slow down? For me, that was the thing that I need to slow down The way spoke when I started. I was always speaking very fast, and I think I had to do with a need off. I don't know if this is interesting, a better and the conversation. What's it called on? I don't know if what I'm saying. It's interesting. So I want to just finish the stories in case that it I'm wasting their time again, a limiting belief. So speak slowly. Speak up. The next thing I want to say is really back in your body language. Right now I'm leading in just so that, you know, gonna get a good picture with this video. But normally you want to be leaning back. You know, open body language is always good. It so it's more confident. It also makes you feel more confident, more relaxed, So laid back an open body ling, which is always good. So, you know, you don't have to be slouching like this, you know, like, Oh, my God, no. You could be just simply, um, leaning leaning back over here and, uh, just relaxing. Hey, cheers. What's going on? If you're at an event with a glass of wine and I'm gonna be talking about how to start those conversations, but yeah, lean back and, uh, be open with your body language. It's very important. Uh, and again, those are the kind of things that people are gonna be looking subconsciously into when you haven't even spoken to them. So that's how you introduce yourself with your energy when you're talking to yourself as well as your body language. So this is your first introduction and how to make a great first impression without even opening your mouth. All right, so try that. And, um and we'll see in the next lecture 6. Start Conversations with Service People: All right, So in this lecture, I want to talk about starting conversations with service people. It could be a barista at a coffee shop. It could be at a bar. It could be a restaurant. Most of the time again, it's gonna be a very It's gonna be a set up a situation where they're talking to you. And it would be a lot easier. And it's always good to have those conversations, because if you go back now, you have a connection there and they can be an anchor to bring you into a social mood, given the days that you're not feeling too social, so it's always good to speak to the staff. They will also probably give you better service or even free stuff when you are making their day curiosity. So one of the things that I always ask people and it always works, is I'm curious to see how their day is going. So the way that I engage them in that is simply saying it could just be house everything or how has your day. But I see you guys were busy today. You guys were busy today, and that's it. And so They say, Yeah, has been pretty busy, actually, And, um, you know, it's been hectic up stressed, and they'll tell you how they're feeling. They might look like they're having a terrible day, so I might just jokingly and be careful with this. But my job jokingly say like a wound. Seems like just like having an amazing day, right? Kind of saying the opposite of what's true? Seems like you have a great day. Yeah, it's awesome getting how you how you doing? It's been a crazy day for you guys or what? And so I'll start with that. Another weight. Humor is way that I always like to, um and this is not me starting conversation. But when they asked me the common question, especially in the U. S. How are you or how you doing? I say Terrible with ST phase. Most of my humor is very dry and very straight phase. So I'm like, all terrible What breaks tomato, their routine right on what's going on? What's wrong? And I'm like, Whoa, it z terrible. I mean, it's so sunny outside. It's a beautiful day, and it's like just a horrible day for me. Yeah, so And then I kind of smile and like that, and they get joking and it takes him out of and they're like, All right, well, this guy seems pretty pretty, pretty fun. Pretty funny. Ah, and so that's another way that again the third way is to be of service and just see how you can help it mount. It could be just simply that helping them laugh on the Fourth Way is introducing yourself. You can, you know, at one point in the interaction you could introduce yourself. But this is mawr before the ways Mawr, when you're you're in some kind of a group setting, or it's a networking event that s'more, that's more of the concepts where you want to use that way of doing things. So that is the example of ah, of starting conversations with people in the service industry, whether it's a security guard, whether it's, uh, you know, a doorman, barista, flight attendant, whatever it is, that is how you gonna engage him in conversation and break. You know, their normal routine, where people don't really care how they're doing. That's pretty common, so you might be making their date when you start the conversations. In this way, 7. Start Conversations at Social Gatherings: All right, So the next situation, context or venue that I want to talk about is when you are in some sort of social gathering . So that might be Maybe you are at a networking event, charity event, charity party or any kind of party. It might again be a networking event. Or maybe you're, um, you're part of a group. Maybe it's, Ah, I don't know, a dance group, a language group or something where you are interacting with people for the first time. Another scenario could be that you are some kind of some kind of a meet up. If you've ever heard of meat up dot com, Maybe it's something like that that you're going for the first time, where you're meeting so many people for the first time. So those kind of scenarios is what I'm talking about in these scenarios, typically, especially when it's at night, when it's a situation there the night you want to be more high energy. So people when they're on the weekend when they're out and about maybe at a bar, they want escape. So you want to have a little bit higher energy, you want more, be a little bit more excited about it, having more fun and just kind of pumping yourself up about it. It's gonna be a great night. There's gonna be a great event, and you want to have that kind of self talk first of all. But in terms of specifics that you want to be doing is, um, you know, let's say it ihsaa social event where you're drinking, whether you're drinking water or drinking a cocktail or beer, you can always open with cheers. People are walking my head and cheers, man, What's going on? Cheers. What's happening? You could open up with cheers and just cheers your drinks towards them. That's a great way to do it. Very non threatening. You can say happy, Happy Thursday. Happy Friday. Happy Whatever right, Happy Saturday, and you could start with that or let's get this party started. Let's get this thing going, that sort of thing. It's kind of a high energy weight off opening, Ah, conversation and an interaction that gets people going and then, like it seems like a one person. Now you can also use the other ways of starting conversations. If if there is something that you're interested in, Maybe it is. What's it called? You know something about a person or it could be something that's already I'm gonna be giving you some exercises, as far as this goes on conversational openers that you can come up with a later lecture. But maybe you have some conversational questions that you have that you're actually curious about. And that instead of Googling that, for example, you can ask people about So you could do that. The next way would be if you observe something. Humor is you can say something about it. Maybe someone walks in with it. Funny looking outfit, and you're standing next to another person. And you're like, Well, did you see the Whatever personal there? Yeah, it's like the really, You know, they really are fitting in right at this party and kind of being sarcastic a little bit about it, uh, or the next ways again, if people seem like their lives, they they're walking into a networking event and they seem a little shy or a little bit loud. You can help him. Bye. Hey, has going first time here? Ah, you know that kind of stuff and happened. Feel comfortable, be of service, introducing people to each other, that sort of thing. It's always good to be of service. In that way. Another way is simply introducing yourself. So this is the concepts where it makes the best sense right now, working in Ventura at, in a new group that you're just joining you go, we say, You know, I don't believe we've met. I don't believe we met. Actually, my name is Felipe. How's it going? And then you allow them to tell you their name and so forth, and that's it. So you could start a conversation with that. You could be walking around. You have a drink and it's a networking event. Be like, Hey, I'm going out and I think we've met before. My name is really big. Cheers. Are you? It's like, Oh, I'm Joe. I'm Melissa. Whatever. It might be right. And so those are the ways that you can start conversations in social gatherings, whether during the day, you know, maybe it's a networking event or during the night, maybe it's a noun kind of bar or some kind of NY activity. So try those. Let me know what what works as well as again I'll be giving you some exercises in the next lectures, too. Really Come up with your own or figure out what you're curious about, or any kind of drugs that you might have will be going through those in some of following lectures. 8. Start Conversations at Other Venues: all right, so the next situation are concepts that you might want to start conversations is, let's see that you were just going out and about. And it's not a specific, Um, what's it called events or group or anything like that? You're just out. Maybe at a cafe and or you might be at the gym Or you might be I don't know what the library, wherever you might go. The better way to get those kind of conversations started, in my opinion, in my experience, is to started with a question. And the question is, how's everything or how is in whatever activity they're doing. So let's say that you, you know, you're at a coffee shop and you see someone that's, you know, has a bunch of books and is writing a bunch of stuff that probably studied so you could see . I mean, you catch their eye looking at me going What house? The house at home are going what? He study that sort of thing, right? So that gets it going. Or, you see, people that are working super hard is like, Wow, man, Um, you really you really second on your work, you know, you can throwing something like that. Observational humor. That's another way to start conversations again. Humor is very normal, is pretty, pretty easy. There's gonna be creating a course on humor as well in conversational humor. But that's a way to do it. Just say the opposite or being sarcastic of what's true right on. And so there's that again. You could always just say, How is this house that you know their at a restaurant or you're somewhere There's tea or whatever. How's your coffee house, your tea? House your food? How is whatever you can always as that question in whatever activity or whatever thing they're doing A to that moment? So that's a way to do it. You can also have again those What's it called on kind of default questions that you might be curious about in general on. So again, it's in some of the following exercises. You'll be coming up with those so you have them ready and very simple so that you're not overwhelmed as well. You could always ask for help. Let's say that you are at a jam you like. I don't know how to use this machine. You can only say, Hey, can you know how to use this thing? Or can you spot me or that going to stop for It's a pretty straightforward waits who start conversation a swell as the other ways that I've mentioned and being of service or the humor that I just mentioned a minute ago. 9. Start Conversations on the Streets: all right, So the next context or situation where you might want to start a conversation with people is when you're walking on street, so it might be asking for directions or whatever. It might be your reason, or you simply start a conversation with someone that looks interesting. That's fine. But normally you're not gonna have long conversations. You're going somewhere. You might encounter them in opposite directions so you might have a super long conversation with them. But the best ways to do it is first of all again with eye contact. You do not want to be staring at people from across the street or when they're walking towards you from like 10 15 meters away or something like that. You want to make it look very casual and very natural. The best way is to not stare them until you're about six feet away from there, or maybe 10 feet away. You can make eye contact a lot of the times when people are are not staring at other people , especially to be honest of the opposite sex. You know, if you're a guy and you're like, Well, I want to start conversation with a girl or whatever. Most of the time, guys, if it's a very attractive woman that, you know, like hot most of the time you guys are staring at her. So a great way to do this is just nuts there. And don't be distracted a little bit until she's about 10 6 feet away. And then you gonna lock ice and then smile and say hello. That's it. Very simple. So again, the eye contact is very important when it comes to the street or anywhere. But this one is a great way to really, you know, luck in that connection very fast, because it is just for an instant. So you could say, Hey, how's it going? Um, and then you can go into a question. You might have a question that you're curious about. Maybe you are like, Hey, I'm not from around here. But do you know of a a great place to dance salsa and Latin dancing? Is there a place here? Then that has that. And they might be like I had no idea where they may be, like actually, I go here. Oh, awesome. How is it there? And then you go into the conversation a little bit, but that's how you would start conversation. You can also, actually, to be honest, that's the best way on the street to really ask for information. Um, as a question on and so best way to do it is you know, you can always smile. You can always wave Hey, as going Waving is good smiling again. Also the direct eye contact, But again, great way to do it And the street is to simply ask for information. Ah, and then get into the conversation Now, in the next lecture, when I have the exercises on really creating this, these opener city will these ways of starting conversations and, um And from there on, you can use these again in the you know, whether you're in the street and you're asking for information, that sort of thing or humorous ways to open a conversation and so forth. So let's go on to the next lecture. Well, you're actually gonna be putting all this into practice, getting creative and writing some of this stuff down to start conversations 10. Create a list of questions you are curious about: Alright, guys. So this is a very exciting lecture. It is all about actually putting this into practice. So the first part of this exercise for this, of course, is to write down 25 questions. If you can write down more, that's great. May put him into sets of 10 sets of 20 whatever you can of things that you're actually curious about and things that you might be Googling from time to time or things that you might want to ask people when you're out and about. So write them down and then, you know, maybe when you write 25 or 50 orm or narrow down to the things that you're most passionate and curious about so many years moved to a new city like I mentioned in the last lecture. And you want to know what the hottest place places are for salsa dancing or to grab a drink because you're, or maybe coffee shops, maybe you into coffin ships to go read a book there again, or bookstore, whatever it is that you're really into. As questions about that, so narrow it down to maybe the top two or three questions you wanna ask you don't want to overcomplicate it. Maybe it's no more than five, so you can have a question that you always ask and it's not official. You're nervous. You can always remember it. Uh, so come up with that. The second list you want to create is a list of funny things they can always say and then narrowed down again to the top two or three and begin testing those now. The second part is you want to actually begin to test these. Ah, these questions and these things out. So again, these arm or things that you are already predetermined or pre, what would you say that you've already determined that you want to ask him? We'll talk about that in a conversation, so you want to begin testing them. The best way to do it, to be honest, is, um, is when you're walking on about. So usually how that works is I talk about this in some of my another one of my social skill courses, where I say it's always good to warm up before you go to an event or before you go into something that even an interview, even a job you wanna have great energy. Start talking to people in the street before you even get to the venue so you can begin to ask these questions. Are are these kind of things when you're out and about when you're walking, tours work. When you're walking on your way to a coffee shop on your way to the events or whatever, you can start and say, Hey, how's it going? Do you know how much we knew here in the city? Do you know where I could find X y or Z? Right. So you want to start testing that out, that that is a second part to this exercise. Other than that, um, practice the You know, the everything we've talked about in terms of the inner stuff writing your story, writing your fears or box as well as having pretty relaxed body language. You can practice it in front of the mirror. You can practice some of these questions Honestly. I find it a lot more fun in engaging to just try Mel in person, but you can definitely hurts them in front of the Marin's and in front of the mirror. Or just close your eyes and pretend and visualized yourself saying, Hey, has to go in chairs and then begin to visualize them being super engaged where we're gonna be starting a conversation with. That's another exercise. You can use ones, you know what you're going to save. Also, I would recommend just a little bit more to it not to go on an attention, But I would suggest that you visualize people approaching you and starting conversations with you as well. So that is all for this exercise. I'll see you in the next lecture. 11. Congratulations!!: All right. Well, what is going on? Congratulations. You've made it to the end of this course. So I just want to say thank you so much for being part of this. I've been doing this for a very, very long time. I would see about 15 years, and I wasn't always social. It's something I should have said in the beginning of the course. I wasn't always social, was pretty shy inches that was secure and all these different things. But But, you know, I would say that everything starts with small steps and they add up to big you big road. Big results in the long run. So the stack up the compound. And so that is how you wanna really approach this course, how you want approach practices off this course start with small steps it might be waving at people it might be making eye contact. May just be saying hello to the people in the service industry, but I hope with these tools from the inner stuff all the way to really specifically how to start conversations as well as the methodology behind in four waste of starting, especially the 1st 3 which is a curiosity, the humor and being of service that gives you an image, how what mentality really works and what intentions work when it comes to start a conversation, and that is simply curiosity. It's fun, which is the humor. It is giving a service part. And so when you makes all those together you three magic, you created conversational openers and whether their competition over that you're creating or that you do from what I've mentioned or is just simply saying hello, it will always work because it's coming from the right, please. So keep that in mind when you're going through this course, other than that have other courses that go on into confidence self esteem into an overall arching overview of social skills and socializing and creating that kind of lifestyle that you might want to check out other than that, you know, follow me on my different channels, whether it's on have a channel on YouTube skill here and you know, you did me I'm a you to me as well. But wherever you're seeing this course, I look forward, Teoh engaging with you mawr, and if you have any questions on the course and your lessons that maybe didn't make sense or you want me to expand on whatever it is, feel free to message me or just posted somewhere on this course, and I'm happy to answer it. So thank you again for being a part of it. And I will see you on the next course.