Social Skills & Communication Skills for Introverts: Connect with People Instantly | Felipe Yanez | Skillshare

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Social Skills & Communication Skills for Introverts: Connect with People Instantly

teacher avatar Felipe Yanez, Confidence & Social Skills Coach

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

28 Lessons (2h 9m)
    • 1. Welcome & Overview of the Course

      1:24
    • 2. Learn the Most Important Social Principles

      4:49
    • 3. Create the Right Mindset

      5:54
    • 4. Start Conversations in 3 Ways

      4:56
    • 5. Take Small Steps to Create Your Social Life

      2:31
    • 6. Be Present & Listen

      2:49
    • 7. Make Your Conversations Interesting

      9:01
    • 8. Have Fun When You’re Being Social

      3:09
    • 9. Speak About Your Passions

      2:33
    • 10. Remember People's Names

      5:00
    • 11. Learn the Best Places to Meet People

      3:40
    • 12. Warm Up Before Going to an Event

      2:58
    • 13. Go Out Alone & Be Socially Independent

      2:58
    • 14. Meet New People with Friends

      3:37
    • 15. Overcome Mental Blocks Overview

      1:12
    • 16. Overcome Mental Blocks

      6:03
    • 17. Talk to Everyone & Treat everyone the Same

      4:32
    • 18. Get VIP Service Everywhere You Go

      2:05
    • 19. Engage the Staff Continued

      1:05
    • 20. Work the Room

      3:58
    • 21. Work the Room Part 2

      1:35
    • 22. Introduce and Connect People to Each Other

      2:46
    • 23. Exchange Contact Information

      6:24
    • 24. End the Conversation in the Right Way

      3:07
    • 25. Text in the Right Way

      3:18
    • 26. Stay in Touch

      4:43
    • 27. Thank you!

      0:58
    • 28. Bonus Lecture: How to talk to anyone interview.

      32:20
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About This Class

In this practical social and interpersonal communication skills training I go into how to best connect with people and make new friends. You’ll be well on your way to building a positive social circle in your hometown or anywhere in the world even if you are shy or introverted. 

98% of all high performers on the planet are introverts. Elon Musk. Bill Gates. J.K. Rowling. Warren Buffet. They’re all introverts. Just like you, and well, me as well. 

For me, being introverted and shy kept me from participating in many activities in high school, college, and hindered me from taking many professional opportunities. In the past I was filled with regret at everything I missed out, but since, I have more than made up for all of those "lost years".

My mission in this course is to help introverted individuals boost their confidence and create meaningful connections in every area of their life. I will help you build social fluency. These are skills, not personality traits. You’ll be transforming your vibe, learn the best ways to start/keep conversations going and bring out your best energy for people to enjoy who you are.

Want to move up in life and climb the ladder of your personal success? 

As I found early on, what distinguishes highly successful people many times is not only their intellect, but often times the way they leverage the power of their interpersonal skills and relationships where everybody wins. You are not only one interaction away from EVERYTHING you’ve ever wanted, but you could be that same opportunity for someone else. That is the secret to building social wealth and overcoming social anxiety.

In this course, I lay out the specific steps—and inner mindset—I use to start conversations, keep conversations going, and make new connections.

My way of interacting and relating to the world is based on curiosity, humor and generosity, plus in connecting friends to each other. This is genuine connection-building based on a desire to simply “spread the good energy” rather than connecting with people with a specific agenda. 

The course is full of practical advice on how to overcome rejection (and the fear of it), getting VIP service everywhere you go, instantly connect with anyone and much more.


YOU WILL LEARN TO:

  • Start a conversation with anyone, anywhere, at any time
  • Overcome the fear of rejection and boost your social confidence
  • Make a memorable impression
  • Connect With People Instantly
  • Master Social Events (“Working a room”)
  • Boost Your Social Confidence
  • Make New Friends and Build an Amazing Social Life
  • Always know what to say
  • Be the most interesting person in the room even if you're not a social person

Meet Your Teacher

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Felipe Yanez

Confidence & Social Skills Coach

Teacher

Hi, I'm Felipe. Welcome to my SkillShare profile! 

I've been in the self-development path for nearly 20 years. I focus on helping you improve your confidence and create abundance in your social, dating, financial & overall life.

My Mission is to help you find love, significance, purpose, self-confidence, and discover your limitless potential through inner transformation.

My goal is to produce the absolute best courses and help you level up your confidence. I'm very excited to show you how to hack your mindset, self-image, and habits to live a life true to you, and beyond your imagination! ;)

Thank you for taking the time to check out my profile. Check out my courses which I have created ... See full profile

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Transcripts

1. Welcome & Overview of the Course: most people are not born with an incredible social life or just with an in aid, social or interpersonal skill set. In fact, this is actually a learned skill and something that is honed over practice, working on yourself and really committing to being social every single day. So that is definitely what my story has been like. I want to welcome you to this course, whether you're shy or introverted, which I've been there. It is something that you could definitely learn and something that you can begin to practice every single day starting today. On it is something that could be built both in terms of skills it as well as the relationships that you build, whether it's in your hometown or all over the world. You can do this. My name is for the young. Yes, and I'm a professional confidence and social skills coach. Now, I wouldn't consider myself a guru, but I would say I do pretty well when it comes to socializing have been doing. This bone was for 20 years since I was about 18 years old. I started. So in this course I want to show you exactly how to go from being a little more shy, introverted and having your rejection all the way to being able to build relationships with anyone that you want to meet. Now, go ahead and sign up, and I look forward to seeing you in this course. 2. Learn the Most Important Social Principles: what's happening, guys. So in this lecture, I want to talk about, um the only how to be more social, but things to rethink about as we're going through this course to really amplify your social skills and make it a lot easier for you to improve those skills. So, first of all, I want to say that I haven't always been social. I've been friendly but have been very shy in the past. Have been introverted and haven't really been as social, especially during my high school and even college years. But I want to say that the most important things they're gonna learn in this course and to give you an overview of the course is that first of all, you wanna work with your mindset and I always say this over and over in my courses that your mindset is everything yourself images, everything. So when you're trying to be more social, but you wanted to be a permanent thing, that you don't have to think about what you don't have to constantly work at, it's becoming a habit. Simply let it be something that you are. So they say the most important thing is who you're being then next comes doing, and then Nets comes happy, basically doing the social stuff and then having a great social life. So that's the first thing. Second thing I want to say is, don't put so much pressure on yourself for so many years. I force myself to be social and force myself to do, you know things that we're outside my comfort zone, which is great. You want to do that, but you don't want to put so much pressure on yourself where you're creating self defeating actions where you might do it for a week and then give it up. You want to start with small steps, and you also want to continue with small steps. Small steps add up to big, big progress. So take small steps, everything from saying hello to practicing your eye contact and that sort of thing is important. In fact, I believe, and in my experience it's been that mindset in my energy dictates how I relate to people even more than the actual actions that I take. The next thing I want to say is, always have something to say, even if you have something that is organic or situational, that always works for you. Um, always have something preparing your mind that you gonna be saying how you're gonna start conversations? Are you in 1/2 conversations and continue conversations have a very, very simple, straightforward ways that you start and continue conversations. So that way, it takes a lot of pressure off of you when it comes to thinking of something on the spot the way that I like to do it, a situation we so you could make spontaneous, situational, conversational openers. I think that that is already kind of planned. In other words, if you're always running into this type of situation that you can just look out for, I'm gonna give you in this in this course, by the way, three of the ways that I always start conversations and that always work 100% of the time. So look out for that. But what I do want to see is, if you're always looking out for things that it's sparking curiosity or that you think are funny or that those are the three ways, by the way or that our where you can actually help people, those airways, that you are gonna be able to generally stuck conversations and create great connections that you know, that always end well in other words, where you're not being ignored or you're not being brushed off for that sort of thing. So that's big one. And then the fourth thing that I want to say in regards to conversations and being more social, the biggest thing we were actually in conversation is to actually listen, ask questions, listen and be present in the moment that is huge. That is the biggest gift you can give to people that's basically connection your presses in that conversation with that person and actually listening and giving off this great vibe and that sort of thing. It is what, ultimately, the gift that you're giving them and what everyone wants from other people. We all want attention and that sort of thing. So when you're giving it out to people that you find interesting you find funny or that you can help, um, either escape from the you know the reality, maybe they're going off to work and they're having a very long day. When you're able to give those those gifts on being just present, then you have just made a big impression on this person. So again, those are the four things that I wanted to go over right away. I will be covering them in more detail as we go through the course. So stay tuned and again, thanks for joining the course. 3. Create the Right Mindset: All right. So the first area want to cover Is the mindset again super important with anything in life . But specifically with your social skills and being more friendly and creating a great network of people in your life, The way to create the right mate mindset and create the right self image is to begin visualizing how situations how interactions are gonna go beforehand. So begin to visualize when you step into a place What kind of things are gonna happen to you? Are people gonna be super friendly when you say hello? Are people gonna come up to you? Um, usually, what typically, what happens when people have kind of, ah, we revive or when we are feeling a little shy in the beginning is because we're visualizing rejection were visualizing things that go wrong. We're basically I have so much social anxiety because of two things either way want a validation. We want approval, but also because we anticipate that things are gonna go wrong. And that's probably because maybe in the past they've gone wrong. So I've gone through the process where, you know, it was very unsuccessful. Socially, I would get rejected a lot and that sort of thing. But it was a process to begin to re program my brain to begin to visualize positive things happening, such as being approached, such as meeting great people, that war super friendly with me and connecting with them being invited to cool things. Whatever it is that you want to do or get out of this whole social thing, begin to visualize that that happens to you at all the places you go to, whether it's you work, you know, at, uh, sorry. And maybe you work in a bank and the people that you're interacting with their always, you know, very social with with you friendly and so on. And this kind of person always invites you here where you connect with them. When you see there's they always see that again, visualize exactly what you're seeing, what you're doing, as well as what, there, how they're reacting or even how they're acting with you. Before you even say anything, they might even approach you again. This is all very possible. It's all has to do with your mindset and with your vibe that you're projecting based on these images that you are having in your head. So the next thing is getting the specific with the places that you're visualizing you're visualizing Have you work from home Like Ideo I work at maybe some kind of a coffee shop. I visualized that people are super friendly there and then coming up to me and whenever I say hello there super friendly and happy to see me and every job that I throw there laughing like crazy and they're asking for my information to connect and hang out later. Those are the kind of things that I visualized before I even go to a venue, or I visualize and tell myself again, self talk that, you know, I'm a celebrity everywhere I go in that sort of thing. And so that way I have that energy as well as even today When I when I'm recording this video, I'm in Spain right now, had someone say, Oh, you look like so and so like a tennis player or something here in spades. But again, whatever you do you have in your head is what's gonna happen outside Bottom line, it goes beyond even body language and everything. I made a course on body language, which super helpful. But even beyond that, the mind set eyes where you're projecting to other people and will you will get what you put out. Basically, uh, the other thing is, whenever you're visualizing whatever your biggest fears are, whoever intimidates you the most out of people interacting with them begin to visualize them being super friendly or, you know, chasing after you to get your attention and that sort of thing to begin to dissipate that fear and that inside. So, for example, if a certain kind of people like very attractive people, you know, kind of make you nervous, then you want to begin to visualize those kind of people be super friendly with you or whatever. Or maybe it is very high level people. Maybe it's a tech Univ. Whoever it is that intimidates you, maybe, or situations even groups. Maybe it's groups I intimidate. You begin to visualize those situations because the mind can't tell the difference between what's reality and what you're imagining. In fact, from a scientific point of view, all the areas in your brain. In fact, athletes use specialization to practice your skills because all the areas and over the brain that active. And when you do a story on activity or certain skill activated the same way or in the same areas over brain as when you're visualizing, it's the same routine, an actual activity that you're doing a reality, as opposed to just visualizing it. So keep that in mind, um, and what else? Yep. And so again visualized the people, the specific people that specific venues in Visualize them, you know, just being super friendly and very approachable to you and so on and so on. So that's what you want to start with. And that's how you make it into who you are into creating that kind of reality everywhere you go in that kind of energy projected, right, Beilin, which is well because of the fact that you are telling yourself that you're awesome, your grade and your super friendly, and you love talking to everyone in these sort of things. So that is what you want, Teoh differently visualize. Other than that, visualize how you're acting. The more you visualize it, the more it becomes a habit. In actuality, you're really reality, basically, so that's how you make it something that you are not something that you do, because people can tell when you're doing it as a technique or trying to be social, as opposed to something that you are. And so the way to make it who you are again is visualization and managing your self talk and creating positive self talk around being social. 4. Start Conversations in 3 Ways: All right, so in this lecture, I'm very, very excited because I'm gonna give you some practical tips on how to be social. So we just went over the mentality that is by far the most important thing with this course . You know, I have made a course on confidence and everything. I go exactly through the mentality, how to rewire everything when it comes to any area of your life. But in this case, your mentality, the way you visualize the things that you're telling yourself about being social, how people are reacting to you, who you are, meaning, you know. Oh, I'm you know, I feel like I own every place everywhere I go, I'm like a celebrity. People want to meet me. That gonna stuff is where you're gonna project. So now, after the practical things, I'm gonna give you three ways to start conversations. And these are three ways that I use all the time. And that work 100%. So the very first way to start a conversation has to do with asking genuine curious questions. Basically, you're always looking out for things that you are interested in or that you are just wondering about. So, for example, one of the things that I'm thinking about when it comes to me being in Spain and sets a new country that I don't know too much about. So I'm just thinking, What kind of things am I curious about when it comes to the culture when it comes to people when it comes to anything, right? And so those are the kind of questions that I'm gonna be asking when I'm out and about with strangers. So I'm not gonna pick up a book. I'm not gonna go on Google and ask these questions. I am just gonna ask him to people. However, when it comes to be in situational with this and you see someone, for example, working at a coffee shop, maybe they're doing some homework or they're doing some computer work and you see something that you're familiar with and you're curious something. Maybe it's related to your field or related to your studies, and you see something that catches your attention, You could ask him about it. Ask him how I have been studying that. How long have you been working in that? That's something you're actually interested about. And you're not just doing it to get attention or to get something from this person, you're actually just curious about it. And so people can pick that up. So that is a very first wait to start conversation again, be curious and ask questions that you're generally interested about. The second way Star conversation is to look for situational humor or have things that are situation already. That air humor is that you always use. One example is if I am going into ah, coffee, please or, um, this in the in the US I mean, it depends on the culture of different humor for different cultures. But come in at a restaurant or a coffee place. People always ask, How are you again? Very American, Very, very much in the US, they ask, That s so I always say, terrible with a straight face and then it kind of smile a little bit. Or they asked why and that kinda stuff and then getting just being sarcastic because most people say good and you the traditional thing. That's one of the things that I have that I always see so again you can have a default thing for all of this, including the 1st 1 You can only say How's so And so how is the workhouse homework house? Everything And the second part you could have when it comes to him, where you can have something default, it's well like that. But again, look out for things that are humorous to you that people are doing, or something that's happening and make a joke out of it. And again, the most important thing is that your genuine about it and then you actually you think it's hilarious. And so if you think it's funny, more than likely they're gonna find it funny as well. That's the second way. Now the third weight, besides questions, humor is actually looking out to Kahlo how to be of service, basically. So let's say that people are struggling with the door, they're carrying things and they're struggling with the door. Maybe you go and help him with the door. Maybe the look loss that you gave him directions. Those are things always being a little guy, also, how to be of service and how to help people. It's another sure way off. Actually, what's it called being genuine of our citing conversations and these three ways, you know, 100% PSA test. Seriously, like I'm not saying that every single person that I talked to, I connected him hanging out with them. You know, later in the weekend, we're not gonna stop, But I always get a positive response when I start conversations. And that has to do because I'm genuine about it as well. As you know, it's something that I find fun. It's something that I find interesting with. The question is something that I find hilarious because of the humor or something that I feel great about really good about, because I'm helping him and again. So those gonna thinks, or the waste to start conversations. And seriously, it always works. So I try it and let's go into the next lecture. 5. Take Small Steps to Create Your Social Life: all right in this lecture, I want to talk about taking small steps and not overwhelming yourself when it comes to being social. So again, don't put so much pressure on yourself when it comes to, um, you know, being social and creating a great social life. Definitely start with small steps specially the basics. Some of the most important basics are eye contact, so practice eye contact. That is a sure way to create a connection right away as well as you communicate so much with eye contact is one of the most important body language skills you can gain, and that all has to do with practice as well as what's going on in your head. Uh, so I would say practice eye contact. Those are some of the most steps, you know. You could just smile smiling. It's another thing that's important when it comes to starting conversations as well as you can just wave whatever you're comfortable with. Maybe you're already comfortable with starting conversations and having conversations, but for you it's starting conversations with groups. But whatever your whatever you're most comfortable with, it still gets you a little nervous. But you want to overcome you definitely want to start doing that. One of the things that I do want to mention with this is when you're visualizing. I didn't mention going after what you fear the most, and that's important because it's gonna stretch. How courageous you are is gonna stretch your comfort comfort zone of your limits on, so you'll be able to do Maurin to take more of a social risk if you will. So that's gonna help with that. So don't limit yourself when it comes to visualizations. That's gonna be huge when it comes. Teoh making progress in your socialite But definitely don't overwhelm yourself in action in terms of where you sabotage yourself, because it's too much. You're stressed out and you give up on it because you it's too stressful or you're not getting the results that you want or that gonna stop. So start with small steps eso again that could be just saying hello. It could be eye contact, or it could be asking a question. And that's the thing that you do. Or maybe again, you might already be where you're already having conversations, so the next step might be to, you know, exchange information or give out your information or whatever it is that you do to connect for a future time. I will go over that in this course. But whatever your wherever you're at, take small steps and take it indigestible bite, if you will, all right? 6. Be Present & Listen: all right, so in this lecture, I want to talk about being present and listening in conversations. That's something that I mentioned few lectures ago. So it is very, very important that whenever you get into a conversation, you're completely in the moment and present a few things that can help with this would be meditation, I would say incorporate meditation into your intermittent your morning routine or something like that. 15 20 minutes of meditation can really make you more present and more mindful when it comes to everything in life. So definitely practice that I would suggest that it's not a prerequisite. But every time I would meditate. When I first learned about meditation before going out, I would be so pressing and so witty and just clever in conversations that was extraordinary . I've never felt like that before because I was always so caught up in my head. I know a lot of people that have any heavy shoes with being social. Uh, we're usually cut up in our head, so we're trying to think of clever things to say. You're what to say next in that sort of thing. So that takes me to the next point, which is Yeah, I have some things to see. Just make him very simple. Lighthouse everything. Or you always say the same joke or that gonna stuff in different settings. That's fine. And maybe you have, you know, those few ways of sudden conversations, but don't overthink conversations on being over the prepare. Kind of like a presentation or something, Even a presentation. You would definitely have a structure, but don't make it word by word, type of scripted conversation. So that's important. On the third thing is has to do with the ways that I showed you on how to start conversations, make it really who you are. In stark conversations with things that you're actually interested about. Some people might start conversations with you, which is fine. You might not be talking about the topic that you're most passionate about, but when you're starting conversations is if something catches your attention, you're probably gonna be interested in it. Or if you're make a joke, you're probably gonna find it funny yourself or you're trying to help in that sort of thing , like the three ways that I showed you so that will automatically bring you into the present moment because you're actually interested in it and your genuine about it. So that is how you become more president conversations, which will lead to you be a great listener and be great asking questions to be a great interviewer and people love talking about themselves. So again, be present, asked good questions. And, um, just be genuinely interested in people. That's very, very important when it comes to having conversations, keeping conversations, going and making them very interesting and connecting with people. 7. Make Your Conversations Interesting: Have you ever wondered how to have a great conversation, whether it's with a stranger or if you out on a date, I'm gonna give you four tips on how to have a great conversation. And what are my two secrets in terms of how to be a great conversationalist and I'm gonna give him to you. Actually, right now, the main two secrets, its first be a great interviewer, and the 2nd 1 is banter be witty. And so I'm going to talk about exactly how to do that. In this video tip Number one is make it about the other person, not about you. The conversation should be about the other person. That means you have to stop multitasking Adami just on your cell phone or anything like that. But it also means, you know, thinking about what to say next or you know, something witty, you want to say, Or perhaps you know, you have a great comeback for whatever they said, or you have a story that you can input. Stop that, stop multitasking and really be present and be generally interested. So this is a big part of being a great interviewer. You have to be generally curious and listen with the intent to understand. That means that coming from a place off, knowing that you don't know everything and that this person can add so much value, so much information into your life experience, Aziz. Well, as be genuinely curious about this person, well, you realize is that when you generally listen, you'll figure out that most people are not what they appear to be. Um, they're usually better. So what that means is, for example, I used to run wine tours on Guy would spend 56 hours with these people. It was, you know, they would be a little tipsy at the end, and so that would reveal more characteristics. But long story short, they were not who I thought they were in the beginning, in a good way. Also, I learned so much, much more than I would read in a book just by spending 456 hours with them. And so understand that you can learn so much and you can gain so much simply by seeking to understand, and they will feel it, and they will be very open to you. Ah, little bit later in the video I'll be sharing some tips on what kind of questions to ask, as well as what kind of banter to add into it. Because just making it, you know, in terms of a very serious or passionate or conversation doesn't give a dynamic feel to it , especially if you're out on a date or you're actually, you know, like someone. And when it really connect with them much more than just socially. So if that's the case, check out the next steps and you'll learn how to spice it up a little bit more. All right, so tip number two is ask open ended questions. So figure out what you're passionate about, as well as, um, you know what? My interest, you see, you can find commonalities that are actually a deeper level. Um, then just small talk. So, for example, you could say, you know, what are you excited about in your life right now? You could say more casually than that, but things like that you want to ask about that, what they're into, and then start asking why questions? What were you into this? What got you into this? All that kind of stuff. So going to definitely open ended questions on and again from my STAMPLE, especially if I'm on a date or something like that. I actually want to do it from a place of finding a commonality where we are actually both passionate about the same thing. For example, I might go into Moussa dreaming. I might go into self help, but my go into travelling, living abroad, that stuff, whatever you're into, know what you're into and then see if you find any common commonalities within these open ended questions. And one more thing about open ended questions is that very good perspective is to go with the flow. In other words, if a conversation flows a certain weight, don't be rigid about it. If something came up from a question and you're like, Wow, I thought about the story above that let it go, just go with the flow. Don't be rigid about it. Otherwise you're not gonna be present, and you're not really gonna be engaged in the conversation. Its part of the impressive and engage with this person is not being so attached to having something to see. All right, Tip number three is let's say you are on a date. You wanna have a mindset that you are sexy and that you know this person is gonna be really , really into you? The reason why is because they go into tip number four, which is gonna be banned. Your sexy banter of that in double on ton dress and all that kind of stuff. It will communicate a lot more powerfully if you believe yourself to be attractive. And if you believe that this person's into you, then you can accuse them of being, you know, a little too forward or that kind of stuff. I do that with women a lot in You can do that kind of stuff, but especially if it's real in your head, it will come out a lot more generally. And it will be funnier when you say it out loud rather than kind of faking it. If that makes sense, so again, feel attractive, be attractive, be sexy and just feel that way going into the fourth tip. This is banter. And with Venter, Um, really, I do it with everyone. Of course, there's different ways that I do it when it comes to different concepts, whether it's a networking event or you know I'm doing it on a date or just bantering with a dude. I do in different ways, but it's always very similar. It's very kind of playfully antagonizing as well as it might be sexually charged. In a way, it doesn't matter who I'm talking to. A swell as it might just have funny answers to come in questions that people ask me to make the conversation a little again, a little more spicy. Look with a little more flavor, if you will. So the first thing is really playfully antagonizing people. So one of the things that I love to do, for example, and you can come up with your own ways of doing this. But for example, if we're eating, let's say you are on a date or they're drinking. You might point out something like they have something on their face and again, maybe it's the first time they're meeting you, so they don't know. I went to take you seriously in winter. No, when you're joking. In fact, I get that all the time. So you wanna have a straight phase? You have something here and then they're looking around and they're like wiping their whole face around. You're moving your hand around so that I know it's here, actually here and then the figure out. Of course, you're joking something like that as well as I love to observe people's body language and mimic a little bit playfully so, especially with people and especially women, if they have very strong, like, you know, hand movements and not gonna stuff. Ah, usually look into that, and I do it because it's fun for me. All this stuff is hilarious to me. Eso I would do it with everyone, but again it really if you are out on a date, it spices things up, and they're like, OK, puts him on the tote their toes a little bit. The second thing that I like to do is what's a co misinterpret things as sexual and in a playful way. So again, something like, you know, any any word that could be misinterpreted, something like doing it below dirty, all these kind of words that could be misinterpreted. You can simply give him like like a look or misinterpreted, for example. Often, I say, when they say something that could be anywhere close to being misinterpreted I say always SEC code, and I give him kind of that look and half smile and again, it's not, you know, I don't just do it with women are only on dates. I do it with everyone, and it's kind of like it's kind of fun. And because I'm not really hitting on anyone is just kind of like my way of having a good time in making conversations a lot more fun. The third way that I'd like to banter is buying simply having funny answers to the coming questions. I get asked a lot. You could make a funny stuff and again say with a straight face and then go from there. And then obviously you are going to tell him you know, the real story, and it's not about lying or anything. It's just mostly about being playful and those kind of things that you want to incorporate into your banter into a conversation. And, uh, again it gets people thinking it gets people out of their routine and out of their small talk, Um, I don't know scenario. And so just to take you through all this, what I've really shown you is you are being now a person that actually listens its present . And it's actually interested in its curious and hungry to learn from people when they are where you are in conversation as well as you're asking all the right questions and what's it called on? And now you're adding the spice of banter into this, which only makes it What's it called? It only adds to the conversation. So now it's not just about connecting emotionally, you're beginning to spark attraction. If you are on a date, you're beginning to spark that connection in, um or of ah, dating scenario. This is what you're what you're watching this video for. 8. Have Fun When You’re Being Social: all right, so I talked a little bit about humor throughout this course, but I want to talk about fun and having a great time. It is one of the most important things to be doing when you're socializing, whether it's a networking event or whether it's just, you know, saying hello to someone you know in the streets or it doesn't matter anywhere you are. You want to be having a great time because most people most of us are cut up in our head, were cut up in our issues, were cut up in, you know, problems from day to day life work and so on that we need to escape. That's why people drink. That's why people, you know, go to the movies. That's why we try to distract ourselves, because we are trying to escape from our everyday life. So you want to be that escape for people you want to be. The fine would have, you know, just great energy. So when you are socialising and when you are meeting people, make sure that you are making your point to be having a great time to be laughing and to be really, what's it called just enjoying yourself. And so what that means is, you know, if you see someone, for example, a cashier, whenever I see a cashier or someone in the service industry that's just seems to be having a pretty bad day. Uh, you know, I say one of a few things I might say, You know how so, How's your name? Like in? Ah, Very like I notice that you have a tough time or uh oh, seems like you have a great day or something sarcastic like that. And they and then I smile. I'm obviously meaning well, and they usually laugh about it, and they tell me about in that sort of thing. So get you wanna brain an element of fun and humor to everything that you do when you're interacting with people and bring that energy when you're out in a social event before you go out, you know you're pumping yourself up. You're saying you're saying tears that was gonna be a super fun event is gonna be awesome and that sort of thing. So you bring that energy when you go to that event, so just be in ah state of having fun and make everything a game. Everything should be a game. Everything should be about, Um, just challenging yourself in a fun way, or or bantering with other people and joking around again. It's kind of like if you notice some things, you know that usually people try to ignore and make it awkward, point them out like, for example, of the whole thing about that cashier who is just not in the best of moods. You could point it out, and then it's out in the open and you can laugh about it and they take him out of that state. So that's just one of the examples. But when you come in with, ah, high energy, everywhere you go, it's infectious. You can match people's energy to bring him up. But I would say when it comes to socializing and really work in a room or going somewhere in just meeting attended people, it's best that you are in a very pumped up stayed and very, very much about having a great time and making it all about a game, if you will 9. Speak About Your Passions: all right. The third thing I want to mention in regards to fun and enjoy yourself as you're socializing is an exercise that I want you to do. So everyone has their passions. Everyone has her interest, and I'm sure you do. So I want you to, to to write down What kind of things are you truly fully passionate about? Whether that's cars, that's music, art business. No investing or a very specific thing. Maybe it's an in May. I don't know what you're into. I want you to write down the top three. Maybe it's up four things that you're really into and why you're interested in in those things and especially if you confined things. I mean, most people are interested in travel, and if you're really passionate about it, you can probably talk to most people about it. But when you are excited about it, and when it when it is something that's freshen your on your mind, and it's something that maybe you're taking a trip soon and you're going to these places you're really excited about and you talk about it, it doesn't matter where it is and invest matter what topic it is people will go along with , and they will love it because they can send your passion and they can sense you truly love it. Now it especially powerful to talk about a topic that, as I mentioned before, in terms of having a great conversation, especially powerful, too, bring up a topic that the other person is interested in. You are completely passionate about, and you can talk for hours and hours about Not that you want to do that necessarily, but it's especially powerful to do that. So again, you want to be sure to know what your passions are ahead of time to know what you're gonna be talking about. And and what I mean by know where you're gonna be talking about is no what you're interested in when you engage someone in conversation. So that way you're more excited about having a conversation with someone else and connecting with them at that level. That also goes along with knowing what you're gonna be doing that day or that week and when it comes to a later lecture, which I'm gonna be talking about in regards to exchanging information and connecting with people in the future. Besides when you meet them. So anyway, right down a few topics that you really, really into and you're passionate about that you can talk about next time or even direct the conversation to next time you are starting conversations or having conversations with strangers. 10. Remember People's Names: All right. So how do you remember people's names now? This is from my personal experience in terms of doing wine tours for, I don't know, maybe 45 years, uh, and training myself to remember the names before I even met them and then being prepared when I met them to a sign each name to the person that I was meeting. So the number one we'll get him to give you three tips to remember people's names or what to do in these situations. The number one thing is that you wanna be have the right you want to have a strong motivation for remembering people's names is the reason why your brain's gonna keep up not only with remembering those people's names, but with the habit. So your motivation might be to make you feel special to, you know, in this case, when I was doing wine tours, that was to get to provide better service, get better reviews and so on and so on. So get clear on your motivation as to why you want to remember people's names or this person's name on so on, and just begin to train yourself in that way. The second thing you want to start doing when you get people's names is to simply repeat it back to them or and repeated as much as you can during a conversation I am talking about in the context of one on one conversations in a group that would be a little bit different in terms of how you do it. But you can still do it. So let's start first of all, with women want. So your one on one, you repeat their name. Oh, yeah. Okay, so it's Kelly got you nice. Well, good to see you, Kelly. That's already twice that. I've said it, uh, and then you get it back in your head. Now, another thing that you can do and this is the third tip is that you want to associate that name and say, It's Kelly. Let's say it's, um, Miguel, Felipe A. Or whatever it is, you want to actually associate those names to people in your life that you already know. So when you begin to do that, it'll it'll link it in your brain. It'll be kind of on pneumonic device, if you will, in terms of connecting, anchoring one thing to another. So anchor their name with someone else's. That someone else, some other person that you already know that has that name. Whatever you can do to associate a name with another word or with a person or something to help you remember even an object, whatever could help you. So those are the three ways when it comes to being in groups now moving on from the 1 to 1 and remembering their names. Typically, unless you're really good at this, you probably won't remember. Let's say, out of a group of seven, you're probably not going to remember all their names when you get him all at once. So pick a few, maybe a few that interest you. Or that they really interested in terms of its networking event for a potential professional opportunity for both of you, or whether it's someone that you're attracted to. Whatever the case may be, you want to really pick a few people that you're gonna tried, remember their names, so maybe three people and do the same thing that I just mentioned the other people you want to begin, Teoh said, very simply asked people to remind you off their name uh, sorry. It was a lot of people, uh, Mennella once. And so what was your name again? And then you do the same thing and you go, uh, and you begin to remember, especially if you're spending longer time. A longer time with them? Um, it is worth. Remember, their name is not just your me and then had a randomly Then you want to begin to remember their names one by one by one. The same procedure. You begin by asking the name. You repeat their names, you associate their names, you say it out loud and all that kind of stuff one by one, with the ones that you haven't remembered. Now those are the ways, you know, again, if if it all fails, just asked to be reminded of their names One of the most common mistakes that I've done in the passes to actually try to guess her name. If you have a feeling that I know him, uh, another name and I hung ends up kind of like being weird. Of course I play it off and make a joke about it, but again, it's better to just as the name again or or something like that. And if it is a complicated name, there probably used to people remember their names, so make an extra effort to do it. And it's better to to remember or ask the name again. So you can remember it. Because if it's a complicated name, especially, you know, I've heard of many times that most people call him, Hey, dude or or something like, Hey, man, something like that, because they don't want to go through the effort of actually knowing their name, remembering them and so on, all right. 11. Learn the Best Places to Meet People: what is going on, guys? So in this lecture, I want to talk about where to meet people and the best places to make friends. So the reason I want to address this is because one of the most common things that I talk to about with my clients is or the most common, um limited. Believe is I don't know where to meet new people or I don't know where to go to meet, meet like minded people. So the quickest, most straightforward tip is everywhere you are already. So I'm talking about if you go to a coffee shop to work, if you're walking on going on, if you go to work and then go on to a coffee shop, I mean that stuff or if you, um I don't go to the jam, all these kind of places, your everyday life that you're doing already, you might make need to make some changes. If you're trying to find a certain type of person to meet in that gonna think, but otherwise, just meet him everywhere. I've met people on the plane, people that have either come in visiting me where I'm travelling. Just say hey, where you headed. Alright, Awesome. Well, I'm headed over here, and then we start talking. And then from there, they're like, Well, you should come visit. They invite me when I say Yeah, they're like, Yeah, I've always wanted to visit. For example, I'm in Spain. They might say I've always wanted to visit Spain. I'm like, we'll come and visit, and it goes from there. I've met people in, you know, in the laundry mat. You know, when I'm traveling, I'm washing my clothes in the laundry mat. And I see someone that doesn't have the right kind of coins in that country to or that's having no Oh, I want to give up where I'm leaving the country. I was sure this is the situation. I was leaving the country and I had extra coins for those specific washing machines. And so I said, Okay, I'm not gonna use this course if you want to use him. As I saw this person trying to get some some coins changed and from there, expect of a conversation she asked. So where you from and that sort of thing? And it went from there. But again, uh, the basic basic things apply look to understand, See, to understand, seek to ask questions Anything you're curious about. Anything humorous, Anything. Any way you can help us? Well, on. So in the same way anyway you are, you can meet people. So this today I met a couple that were friends and they were on their way somewhere in the ask for directions again. That's them engaging me. But I just the same. I could do the same with if if I'm trying to figure out a place here or that kind of stuff . So again, these airways to become more social engage people, but do it everywhere so that when you are in the that right place that you're thinking about, where you gonna find the like minded people you're thinking about? Perhaps you'll be already in social mood and engaged in that. Um, also, I want to add that that you never know you're gonna meet anywhere, especially if you revive. If you've been working on yourself, I have other courses in terms of confidence, and we're getting your mindset and that sort of thing. Especially when your mindset is right, you're gonna attract better situations, better people, and as well as bring the best sites out of people when you do interact with them. So it doesn't mean that you have to go to a specific place to meet a certain kind of person necessarily. Although if you are trying to meet people that are super fit and healthy, then you might want to go to the gym and just, you know, spark up. You know, start up conversations. Yeah, there. Otherwise, everywhere. It's a good place. 12. Warm Up Before Going to an Event: All right. So the next thing I want to talk about is and exercise that I want you to do next time that you are going to an event, a social event of networking event, whatever it is in order to get in the right state. So beyond, um, you know, telling yourself that, you know it's gonna be a great event, and they're gonna have a blast. And people are gonna be super friendly and that sort of thing. I want you to do this practical thing before you get to the event. And that is I want you to warm up socially. So when you are walking in the street Cheers. How's it going? Hey, Hey, how are you? Begin to engage. People begin to say hello. Begin to greet people. And from there, once you get to the events, you're already B'more warmed up, and you will already be more social. They say it takes three or four people for to meet three or four people in order to be for a person to feel more comfortable being social or open to engage in more people. In fact, I took that rule when I was hosting events and that would try to introduce my guests to as many people as I could to warm warm them up. So in this way, this exercises to warm you up before you get to an event where you might feel you have more at stake. Maybe it's a professional networking event. Or maybe it's something else, even an interview. You have a higher energy when you get to the interview, if you are actually warming up beforehand. And I talked a little bit about warming up in that kind of stuff and your inner game in other courses, like confident course. And they also talk about power posting in one of my body language courses that I just released. So you you wanna check that out? That could help a lot. But just to give you a quick tip anything before you get to the event, maybe you're at the house begins to power. Post power posting is simply gonna standing. As you know, maybe maybe it's opening up your body and, you know, smiling and begin to smile before you even leave the house to make yourself feel better. In that sort of thing, it changes your state and it creates a different vibe coming from you. You begin to embody a different energy, but also you begin to project a different, um, body language in presence. So, other than that, warm up in that way at the house and then begin to be social in the streets, saying hello, are you making eye contact? Nadie just saying whatever is a little outside your comfort zone or however you want to push yourself again. Small steps are good, but definitely put yourself a little bit. So that way you are outside your comfort zone and you are beginning to feel a little, a little bit of a society, but not too much. And so that when you're there, there's no incited. You're already being social before you even got to the event. All right, that's that. Dry it out and I'll see you in the next lecture. 13. Go Out Alone & Be Socially Independent: All right. So welcome to this lecture. I want to talk to you about going out alone in this lecture. So one of the things that most cherished people when they're trying to be social when you're trying to be, we'll build a social life is actually being out alone. So there are advantages and definitely disadvantages to going out alone. Personally, it was something I had to overcome. A sparse, a fear. So if it is something that you're afraid of, it is worth getting over. Especially if you're someone that is traveling. Always gonna travel either for your work or you simply want to take some solo trip, whether you're a man or a woman, especially for women, it's a little more anxiety costing to actually go in travel alone. So going out alone can be can be kind of a practice for traveling alone as well. So whether you're going out to a bar or restaurants or coffee shops, not such a big deal. But some of these places where most of the time you find groups, you might at first for you a little self conscious, like why am I doing out our loan in that sort of thing. However, the there are so many advantages to actually being out alone, for example, um, you are We could easily meet people when you're out alone because you have no one to talk to. So in other words, you're gonna have to actually be social with someone if you're out and about whether it's a networking event. Ah, party or a bar. Whatever it is, you're gonna be especially social. Even you're gonna have to be social. That's the 1st 1 Second of all, you don't have your friends around. So, in other words, you they won't keep you from being social as well as if you have any kind of society or limited believes around being social. When you're around your friends, what we're gonna see, what goes weird and all that stuff, then going on alone will enable you to meet people more easily because of that as well. And your friends, you don't have to worry about leaving your friends as well. That's another big one. And again, another advantage is that this becomes a practice for when you're traveling alone. Let's say that you want to take a solo trip to Europe somewhere or anywhere in the world. You are mawr independent and honesty. Most of all, you become, ah, lot more confident because of being able to be independently social. So that's important. Um, you know, definitely I would recommend you try out going out alone. It is definitely especially if you've never done it before. It is a courageous thing to do, and it is fun to do it. It is something that you want to get over and will help your improve your confidence that way that you project yourself in your, um, social skills as well. 14. Meet New People with Friends: All right. So I just talked to you about going out alone. Now I want to speak about how to be social. When you're out with your friends. I want to say one final know about going out alone is them. When you become independent socially, uh, you know, it gives way for you to feel more empowered when it comes to your social life that you're not depending on your friends to go out or to do things or to travel, which is what most of the time holds us back from doing things that we actually want to do because we don't have the friends to do it or because we don't have friends that are interested in doing it. All right, So when you are out with your friends and you want to be so here, you want to meet people and connect with people. Um, it's very, very easy. You want toe train yourself a little bit, or just beginning to get in the habit off multitasking when it comes to conversations. So you might be talking to your friends. You might be there listening and, you know, whatever. You know, talking about what happened to your friend yesterday. Whatever it is you're joking around. But you also want to keep an eye out in an ear out two conversations around you. So if anybody catches your eye that you're like, well, interesting What are they doing over there? What's going on here? Especially if they're nearby keeping keeping here out in terms of what they're talking about. And if anything catches your interest, remember the three waste of starting conversations? The 1st 1 is, you know, anything that interests you or that you're curious about. You can begin to ask a question, right? The 2nd 1 is humor. Anything humor has happened around you. As you're talking to your friend, you look around and is there anything humors? Look, you know, use your peripheral vision. In fact, when when you are being social, your peripheral vision, which is you know, you're basically here, could be staring forward, but you could be keeping an eye on the sites is the way Teoh be aware of your surroundings and be more social. So anything funny going on around you or any way that you can help again those three ways and so the way to do it is You don't just obviously stop your friend in the middle of a conversation and say, Hey, you know, it's a conversation. But what you can do is you can simply begin to listen. And then from there, um, um, either, you know, go to the restroom and bathroom or totally whatever you call it in your country. I was different in the US and Europe. So you're the restroom, And then when you come out, you you know, you say, Hey, we're just talking about this or when there's a positive conversation with your friend like gas school. I think that we're just talking about this. You might say, like, you know, something that caught your attention with them. Hey, I said, were you guys just mentioning about this and then, like, yeah, is like, Oh, actually, I you know, And then you tell me what you're interested in. Let's say it's a question. So again, look for a positive conversation on def. It is. Obviously, you know, they're talking about a topic, and you're not gonna talk about that same topic. Perhaps you could like half an hour later, but usually better if you do it while they're talking about it. But you could always bring it back in like you heard you guys talking about the, you know, the game yesterday. The I don't know the football game or whatever it ISS. So that's how you do it. Just kind of multitask. Gonna eat whimsical, eavesdrop on conversations around you and then look for a pas or, you know, go to the restroom or go do something, Anything. As you're walking somewhere or coming back to your friend, you can engage them, so that's how I would do it. 15. Overcome Mental Blocks Overview: All right. So in this section, uh, I'm gonna be going over a few different things that may limit you or block you from being social That might be limited. Believes which I'm not gonna cover too much in this course. I have a course again on confidence and everything to go deep into your mindset. But that could be limited, believes that you could reframe different things like that. But I am gonna be going over in these next lectures over the fear of rejection. The fear of of meeting new people approaching and studied conversations just as well as any kind of social inside is that you have potentially because you might want validation or attention and that sort of thing, those kind of some of the reasons why they come up. And so I will be guiding you through how to shift those perspectives and changing the reasons why your social, as well as how to become more empowered and more relax and have a lot less at stake when you're starting conversations as opposed to be nervous and walking on eggshells when you're meeting people. So that's what's gonna happen in this section. So stay tuned 16. Overcome Mental Blocks : what is going on, guys. So in this lecture, I want to talk about rejection and what it is when it's not eso. First of all, what it's not, it's not has nothing to do with who you are or anything in regards to you, for the most part, has everything to do with your perception. So in terms of rejection most of the time when whatever let's say you're trying some of this stuff out and some of it doesn't go as well as you like it to be or to go, Um, and it'll be rare to be on, especially if you're getting you know, a lot of your story together in regards to creating a new, empowering story about your social life and doing the three things of the three waste of starting conversations and everything that I've talked about. You'll have some great results, but let's say that you encounter some negative responses or no responses. I want to see that it is. It is simply a perception so, and it can be a great opportunity to overcome insecurities, and I don't mean it just in terms of actually overcoming in securities base on getting outside your comfort zone, although I mean that as well. I mean it in terms off. Whatever pops up, let's say that you let's see that you don't get a response when you say something hello? Or or you don't get a response when you send a message, which I'm gonna be talking about how to connect with people after you meet them and so on. But let's say you don't get a response then. So in that case, maybe a trigger something you want to write down what it triggers in regards to the story in your mind so it might trigger they don't want to talk to me, or I probably screwed it up when I said that one thing or all that kind of stuff. And most of the time, what I was going to say is that most of time your brain is gonna try to figure out what it was or why why you got that negative response. Honestly, it doesn't matter. In fact, that is the problem. That is the reason why you keep repeating the same situations or the same negative react reactions is because, or the fact that your brain is wired to self problem, so you will create more problems. Basically, you will manifest more of the situations. So the key to this is first of all, to be aware of what the triggers are for feeling rejected again. Most people is just simply being ignored or getting an Eric negative reaction. When you say hello or getting no reaction or no text bag when you're messaging people or that kind of stuff, that's another one. Whatever it is, write them down and write down what you're telling yourself. Maybe, um, easier again. First of all, getting rejected, Of course, that's what we're talking about. Second of all, it doesn't mean that you are not worthy. Doesn't mean that you're unattractive, that I mean that. But say it's a professional setting. Does it mean that maybe you said the wrong things, whatever it is is just a perspective. Um, once you do that, you want to write down the opposite and you want to begin to tell yourself a different story, as I have mentioned in many of my programs. But the way that's the way to overcome rejection, you need to change the perspective of what you're seeing as well as change your identity. I talk a little bit about this on my body language course about changing identities. What's my confidence course? So when you begin to shift your identity and create a more empower identity, you're a securities begin to fade away. And so you want to definitely switch to those belief systems so that not only are you not feeling the same way when you don't get a response or negative response, but you're also getting a lot less negative responses. Every well, you're so tests rate will skyrocket. When it comes to your social life askew. Begin to shift your belief systems and your identity. The next thing is, don't take it. Personal rejection is, um, again. Well, not only a perspective. Let's move on from that word, but those reactions or when. When people are giving you those reactions, it might be your vivat might be discerned and things like that, which you could work on. But it might just be that they had a bad day. Might just be that it's been a long day. It might be a culture thing. Whatever it is, most of the time has nothing to do with you, especially when it's a stranger, they don't know you. So the only thing they that they can go based on is your your body language and your energy . Other than that, um, has nothing to do with you. They have probably had a bad day. They had a bad week. Or maybe they just have some stuff going on in their life. Don't take it personal. Also, don't try to figure it out. It's not your job. If anything, your job is just to stay positive and keep going and tell yourself a very empowering story . You know, just keep moving on and being social. That is the best way to help people, to help them escape, to spread the good energy. And again, that also is another thing that you won't incorporate into socializing, especially with these kind of situations that you're there to give. So when someone doesn't want when you're giving a gift, still yours. If you've ever heard of that scene, so you're there to give and that's all. Don't over complicate it by trying to figure stuff out. Don't over complicated by trying to figure out what you did wrong and all that stuff. It's good to improve and to feel out how to do things better. Absolutely. And that's what this program is about in terms of socializing. But hammering away in beating yourself up, hammering away to what could have been done better and all this stuff in that kind of self credit, self critical way. It's not gonna help you anyway. That's all for about rejection. Let it go. Don't take it personal shift the way that you see those responses that trigger that emotion of rejection or lack of love or acceptance, and you begin to practice that way of looking at those reactions. 17. Talk to Everyone & Treat everyone the Same: All right, so in this lecture, I want to talk about talking to everyone, being social in treating everyone the same. So when I say speak to everyone, I don't mean go out of your way. Just talk to everyone in the room, which you can do. I've done it, but it means that don't, um, the discriminate in terms of let's say that you're only talking to high status people are only attractive people or only people that do this kind of job stay away from just, you know, socializing for a specific purpose to get something first of all. And second of all, don't just go and just only talk to people that meet this criteria for a few reasons. The 1st 1 is that, um you might miss out on great opportunities. You never know what's behind that. What you might learn from someone that might be a janitor or someone that might be a dishwasher. In fact, I was a dishwasher at one point, but anyway, you never know what you're gonna learn. So that's important. And who you're gonna connect with. So, you know, I always say, you know, you never know that the next person you mean might be, you know, the opportunity or the key to everything you've ever wanted in your life. And I have met a lot of people where it's on the plane. It's guy, and I don't really, you know, care about getting anything from, but I'm just saying hello and then it ends up that we might connect professionally. Eso That's one of the one of the things. Second of all, you have a better energy about you because not only is your energy dictated by what you're thinking and your body language and different things like that, but it's also dictated by who you are, based on past actions and habits. So the more accepting and the more open you are, the more people will feel it. And that's what happens when people being to approach you and begin to be more friendly with you because they sense that you are very approachable. So in an open and non judgmental. So again, if you want to incorporate this into what you're saying to yourself before you go out, you know I'm talking to everyone, very accepting. I love talking to everyone, just to have a good time that gonna step? That's also a positive thing. Another reason why you want to talk to everyone is because, um you will keep an open mind. And really, this is all about, especially if you really want to take this to another level. It's about making. It's about something bigger than you. It's about creating a movement, if you will, of your own off being the catalyst of good energy in the catalyst of helping people connect with each other. Especially in this, in this day and age, where most people are just texting all the time, they're completely, you know, engorged in their in their in their technology and their cell phones and computers. All that kinda stuff, helping people escape. And that sort of thing is such a great thing. So again, you're being part of the change, and that's a great way to see it. So talk to everyone. Another reason why it's incredibly aim powerful to talk to everyone, not just specific type of person is because let's see that you are trying to meet a specific type of person for professional reasons for your love life or whatever it is. The thing is that when you meet that type of person or when you encounter them, you won't treat him any differently. You'll just be continue to be social, as opposed to having to turn it on. When you see the attractive person or that person that might give you a job or that you might be able to sell your product or service from your company or whatever it is you don't have to turn on, its always on It's who you are. So this is all about who you are. It's about being doing and having. So as you are continuing to build this social habits again, don't use it as a technique to get something. And don't just be exclusive about who you talk to. You can be selective. Absolutely. You know, in terms of positivity and energy not gonna stop. Don't I would. I would encourage you to base it on energy and how you're feeling. And are you feeling from the other person rather than something that you can just see on the outside of materialistic or something that's been conditioned based on what people think? It's cool or attractive or valuable. So again appreciate, people talk to everyone and spread the good energy 18. Get VIP Service Everywhere You Go: All right, So now you are outside your house. You greeted a bunch of people you said hello and all that kinda stuff. Now you are at a restaurant and a bar at a coffee shop or at an event. What do you do? First thing you want to do is talk and engage with staff. If their security, that's the first people you're gonna be talking to you. So you want to say Hey, how's your night? How's it going? How's your day going? Yeah, awesome. Cool. Anyone giving you any any? Any trouble on if you're with a friend? Because this guys are This girl is like, but watch out for her. Watch out for this guy. Yeah. Yeah, I'll keep it down. I got your back, man. That kind of stuff. So you want to engage the staff? You want to engage security? You want to engage? If you're going to a coffee shop, you want to engage the the barista? If if that might not be the first person you encounter. But again you want I encounter, you would encounter. You want to engage the first person you encounter. You've already been talking to people in the streets. You're warmed up. Begin, Teoh. You know you walk in You Hey, ask you in tears. Um, you know, whoever it is at the front door or someone opens the door for you, are you open the door for someone that's already beginning to be social. You already beginning to exchange not to exchange, but to give a good energy and to give good will to people when you open the door or when you say Hey, thanks for opening the door. Thanks. Appreciate it on. Then you begin to engage people as you walk into the place The coffee shop, whatever it is mainly the staff and the recent. Also. Why engaging the staff is so important is because if this a place you frequent, you want toe. You wanna have goodwill with these people. But also you want Teoh have them as anchors, emotional anchors, social anchors that whenever you go there, even when you're not feeling the best when you're not feeling the most social, they will engage you and they will bring you out of your shell. Every well, So that's important. Gauge the staff and go from them 19. Engage the Staff Continued: one more thing about engaging the staff that I didn't mention. And it's a big perk. Eyes that as you engage him and you actually curious about them and you joke around, you give him again. Sign. Basically, you're providing a good time for them, whether it's by listening, saying funny stuff trying to be of service, maybe you see that there's something they need help with. You help him out. Those three ways I used our conversation can lead to so much beyond just starting conversations. So this is also a way that not that is your intention to get special service or special treatment. But that will happen when you engage the staff. You will be getting probably free coffee here and there. You probably getting free drinks. If you're at a bar, you probably be getting V I P Service in general. So and more than anything, you'll get a great treatment from them, almost like friends or ask friends. Maybe so that's how you get in a way, be I be treatment. Ah, everywhere you go 20. Work the Room: All right, so in this lecture, I'm very, very excited because this was one of the I guess, really, Um, goals that I had in the beginning when I was, you know, becoming more and more social, wants to know how to work a room and becoming the the unofficial host of will. But more importantly, the life of the party of police that I went to, whether it's a bar or a restaurant or anywhere where I would just take over the place, if you will. So I'm gonna give you the way that I if I'm in that mood and I want to kind of just work the room and that sort of thing the way that I do it, Uh A that it's a lot less pressure. It's a lot of fun. And if you're feeling confident and you're feeling courageous about it and you're ready for it, then I was a judge would try it. So first of all, what I do is I woke up and, you know, I'm always maybe talking some people in the streets. I'm saying Hello, whatever Put myself up. I've already done my routine in my head where I'm saying you know, it's gonna be amazing, extraordinary and so on. I go into the indoor into the venue and I start talking to the step after Goldman. Cheers. How are you? And then I start going around and saying, Hey, cheers, Cheers. Let's say this is a social even or a networking event. Cheers. What's going on here? Are you and introduce myself? I go on and begin to have very short conversations with a lot of people. So I might say, Hey, how are you? Hey, how's it going? Know that? Well, that's cool. Awesome. And started talking. What are you up to this weekend when he up to today? All right, cool and go from there. And just social light conversation. And I'm like, And then after that, I said, Well, great, great speaking to you. I'm now either if I don't have a drink on my hand, which if I'm just getting there might be the case. I'm gonna grab a drink. I'll see you in a minute. I'll see in a bit. And then again, I'm remembering their names. I'll see in a big care also your bid, Joe, or whatever it is, whoever it is, And then I eat and I'm walking away. I gather more people. He has to go in chairs, out, grabbing a drink. How are you that kind of stuff? And then I go and do this over and over with multiple people and just has going same conversation. Let's have to be, You know, again, there'll be differences because it's different. People will be different jobs, different questions, but ultimately same structure, same conversation. Hey, how are you? What's going on? What do you hope to what's new in life? If it's someone I know, but or what's exciting right now for you at work or whatever, That's a It's a networking event, but again, mostly, you want to keep it fun. You want to stay away from work for the most part, I would say, and you keep doing it over and over. Great to meet you. I won't see you in a minute to go and talk to a few more people and uh, yeah, let's connect on. Then that's why you do it the right of the room and just keep doing that. You keep ending the conversation first, and then the conversation first moving from Group to group. If you want to take it a step further, you can begin as you in kind of the same people that you've been talking to you and say, Hey, Carol, what's going on? Hey, this is this is Joe, By the way, you can begin to introduce him together. It's that simple. So you visualize that if you wanna have that kind of a thing, when whether it's like you're going to a networking event or whatever, that you can visualize it over and over in your head that you that's what you're doing and the responses that you're gaining. And that's how you train yourself to work a room, work the room before you even get there, and then once you get there, it will be a lot easier to actually do it. So that is what I have to say about it. Think about it like a game and think about it like a sport. A lot of people, I say, probably mentioned before in this lecture on these lecture Sorry, is that even athletes, you know, visualize what how play is gonna go before they even do it. So same thing with this visual, I said You're working the room. You have a sec. Sure. Composition. You have any of the conversations first, and you can insert, you know, exchanging information of that sort of thing as well. Which I'm gonna go over in a little while. All right. Try it and let me know how it works. 21. Work the Room Part 2: So in this lecture I wanted to speak a little bit more about working the room. You can stick to the, you know, three ways of starting conversations, which is, if you see anything that you find interesting or anything like that in that sort of thing or anything funny and all that stuff. But when it comes to this, this is a little bit more rapid fire in terms of the, you know, just working the room, kind of Ah, almost like a shotgun separate thing. Just shooting a bunch of bullets out and that kinda stuff and doing that, you know, more, faster approach so you could stick to that. But I would say something as simple as I was mentioning before cheering people and just any chairs. What's going on? If there if it's a group? Hey, how's it going? Chairs? Usually there is one person that's let less engage in the group that most so you can you know, see who it is. They you make eye contact A. As you go in tears, you go and talk to that group and so on and so on. So I talking to that person specifically than you you ask. Cool. How do you guys all know each other? That's a great question to ask when you are, you know, in a group and get everyone's relationship to each other. Oh, this is my boss or Oh, this is my, uh you know, my wife, my husband, whatever, that kind of stuff. So try those things. I don't know each other cool. And then again, and the conversation move on and keep doing the same thing throughout the room. And it's that simple. So again, most important thing is your energy how you're feeling a swell as what you told yourself and what you visualize before you got to that even. All right, we'll try it and I'll see in the next lecture. 22. Introduce and Connect People to Each Other: All right. So a final note on working a room and joining groups together in that sort of thing. The biggest thing is that most people you have to realize that most people are not social. So when they see you and even even if it wasn't the case, when they see you with with other people, they assumed that you already know them unless you're obviously the Reuben you're just joining the group and that sort of thing that a new group that you don't know and already was talking to each other. But if it is especially that networking event, they might not know that you don't know the person who started talking to even in that group that they're talking about. Maybe they just met each other. But for the most part, when people see you with other people that they don't know, they assume that you know the same when you're talking to people like I have been, you know, I've been out and about, and I say hello to people when I'm with my friends, like I have friends coming in and visit me here in Europe, and I'm saying hello to people in the streets. They say hello and they're like, Oh, you know that person And I'm like, yeah, joking around but I actually don't know them. So people assumed that he no people because of the fact that most people are not social, so they don't just randomly talk to strangers. So that's the first thing. So in terms of social proving, you have heard of that. I mean, I'm sure most people have the social prove. It makes you look a lot more popular, a lot more together, a lot more cool and normal. People see you with other people. So as you're working the room like that, people might just come up to you because they are. So who is this guy? He knows everyone. Aziz, well, as introducing people to each other is incredible as well. I think a lot of people, especially the U. S. They introduce people to each other because they're where professionals are aware of the value the they're creating by introducing potentially mutually beneficial contacts. So that is true, although most attempting, I feel like they do it kind of a technique special networking events, but in this case, you want to do it all the freaking time. Whenever there is an event, you want to introduce people to each other, you want to do that kind of stuff that makes you the connector. And that makes you the person that knows everyone, which is your importing a lot of value. And, um, you would have you will have that much more value of two people as well and social prove as well as you simply be seen as a life of the party and the connector, which is important in a social setting. So I just wanted to say that about social proof about connecting people with each other and working a room, so all right, we'll see you in the next lecture. 23. Exchange Contact Information: Okay, so in this lecture, I want to talk about something that it's incredibly important when it comes to being social and when it comes to, um not only being social and friendly but actually creating amazing social life and that is expanding your network. So in order to expand your network, you actually have to have a larger network, which means giving out your information, exchanging information and that sort of thing. So when it comes, Teoh beat in a conversation and actually exchanging information. We're getting the information that's up to you. I leave that up to you personally. Most of the time varies. Sometimes I give out my number two people. Other times they take it. Um, another sense. We just like change information or the text as a say, Give them my number in that sort of thing that's up to you. But the way that I do it is simply finding social commonalities or interest with the person that I'm talking to so similarly like I said, right down what you're into that's important for this as well. But it's also important for you. I'm gonna say this lecture to do this exercise, which is you know, you can write it down, or you can just think about it. But what are you gonna be doing today we're gonna be doing this weekend? Um, and what are you into? What do you do regularly? You know, what do you actually do s activities? Do you go to coffee shops and go read a book? If that's what you do, that's mine. Could invite people to do that with you. Um, whatever it is that you're into, no matter how much you don't think would be interesting. The important thing that I realized over the years of trying Bizzell and trying to have a great life so that it can invite people into it was that it didn't matter. The life that I had would matter the most. Waas the interactions in the connections that I had with the person in front of me, that's what really matter. What was interesting was me. It was not the thing that that we were gonna do or or or the fact that, you know, even from a business perspective, um, people like to do business with people they like. And so, when they set up a meeting is not just always based on the product or based on the service that you're offering are based on the profit and so on, and so on. Many attempts because they like you, they want to meet up with you. Same thing when it comes to your love life, it doesn't have to be something extraordinary. Um, in terms of that or dinner, always infecting is not dating thing, but I encourage away from from dinner for the first day. That's a lot of hours being spent with someone you don't know yet. Anyway. We not from that figure out what things you haven't come and socially. But the easiest way that I can lead into that is that I ask ask questions like, What are you up to this weekend? What do you up to today to figure out if if I'm interested, if this is an opportunity to me or continue meeting or continue hanging out right now or later from there, I just say, Let's say that they're like, Oh, I'm going Teoh, see a play on the weekend and just do that kind of stuff. And today just work and whatever else, right? My God, school. That's awesome. Uh, you know, let's say I'm into places. Like what? Players Are you gonna go see Percy? I'm not. But let's am Look, we'll play. Are you going to see? And they're like, Oh, well, listen, and I love that place is like they might invite me or wherever or I or I might say, Well, I'm actually going on on another day. I'm going to see this other one your you know, And then they're like, super excited. Yeah, that's incredible. Um, and they say You're welcome to join me if you like, You're welcome to join me. If you like that, be great. And then they're like, Yeah, awesome! And then from there you follow it up with All right, Well, what's your phone number? Or, um, let's say it's a professional setting. You have a business card, or here's my business card, or here's my phone number. So again, lead conversations into depending on the context, I would say in a professional setting, you know? What do you do? Well, I do that Well, I know someone that can help you with that again. You can always you can always to be honest, you can even apply the rule of the three waste of starting conversations to through three ways of giving out your phone number of getting the phone number. Given how your business car, whatever it is that you're doing, applied to this as well. I mean, if you have something that you're curious about, you want more information about, you can ask, Can you send me more information about that? Or if it's something that you find fun again, I mean, is that humor is, But you find something that is fun from what they're talking about, or that you're gonna be doing it. You love for this person to join in and have a great time, you could invite him to it. You can do that kinda stuff, or the 3rd 1 is, if you could help him. Let's say that you are at a networking event and they're like, Why do this? I'm in the wine industry and like, oh, really? Well, I have all these partners that would be so interested in your product or service. I love to connect you again. You're trying to help. That's 1/3 way. So lead it either in those three ways or simply into a social, mutually interesting topic in the best way to do it again is through questions. Just ask questions. Yeah, what do you have to this weekend? Oh, yeah, What do you do? What you excited about for this year or whatever it ISS, So lead it into that. And then from there, see, went up an opportunity. Always keep an open mind open here in terms off, listening for an opportunity. If this someone that is interesting to you to, ah, again exchange information or give out, remember or get their phone number? One more thing that you can always say. By the way, this is another thing that I forgot to mention that the last lecture is You can always just say, Let's catch up over coffee if it is some kind, some kind of What's it called more of a casual thing rather than an actual professional thing, you might say, Let's catch up over a drink. Let's catch up over wine, depending on the concepts and the situation, if it's for your professional life, when you love life for your social life, depending on that, you know, basically use some common sense when it comes to what type of imitation you want to sit out . All right, 24. End the Conversation in the Right Way: All right. So ending the conversation, how do you end it smoothly? I know some people ask about this. I had a lot of clients that actually ask about this and how toe really end a conversation in the best possible way. Just like having a great first impression how to have a great last impression. Very simple. I mean, um, I would say that to really make him or riel in terms of the connection and everything, I wouldn't suggest that you don't end the interaction right after exchanging information. I feel like that makes it all about that, you know, changing information or that purpose. It's only about that business transaction or that thing or whatever it was, you know, the phone number, whatever it is, I would say, Continue talking and continue vibing a little bit and then simply say, Yeah, you know what? All right, I got to get going. But seriously, fantastic to meet you. It's been awesome chatting with you, you know? Honestly, yeah, it's, you know, it's great. And then you insert, that's why, or see that you talked about It's amazing that you're into that really same here. I love it. So Yeah, let's sketch up like I said. And yeah, great chatting. Let's let's get you up soon And then when you're gonna end it, um, depending on the culture, you know, I'm a very touchy person. For the most part, I do give space. There's definitely people that are a lot more touching me in terms of their personal space . But but in general, especially when im gonna say goodbye, I would If it's a guy, you know, I usually. And if it's not a professional setting, if it's more of a casual setting, I just get one of these and kind of luck it in and then give kind of a hug thing, Uh, almost 100% of the time when it comes Teoh. If it's someone I really liked it, let's say it's at a professional event. I just go kind of high and be like, a little bit stronger and that kind of stuff, because I really like this guy. But I'm not gonna go into the high Casper. Maybe in a professional setting or something like that. Um, as far as, ah, none professional way of saying goodbye from to the opposite sex, a za guy, I always. If it's casual, it's not professional. I will go for for the hug as after meeting. Great to meet you. Obviously, if you're in somewhere like Spain, they do the kiss on the cheek on the left and right and so forth or three times its friends . But that depends on your culture. Obviously, nation. It's a little different and that sort of thing. So definitely keep in mind your culture or where you're at and where you're traveling. Perhaps. But for the most part, I say goodbye with a friendly hug or a friend handshake. But that's it as far as saying goodbye or anything. Conversation other than that, um, pretty straightforward, just great talking to you and whatever else might again stay away from nd get right when you give out the information, unless a ring a super brush situation. All right, so I will see you in the next section 25. Text in the Right Way: All right, So in this lecture is all about texting is gonna be super short because I don't think it's that complicated. And it goes along with theme off. Keep it short and simple. So when it comes to texting or emailing all that kinda stuff, um, you know, whether it's professional or cash or even a date or whatever it might be keeping short into the point. Don't need to keep started texting back and forth and that sort of thing. So let's say it is someone that you are looking to be friends with or a date or something like that. Just confirmed. Um, just hey, how's it going Chairs that you got the phone number chairs has going great to meet you. And then you put your name for leaping and concrete two years. Well, on then you're like I awesome. Yeah, well, let me know and let me know if so and so still works on. They confirmed the date and Okay, cool. Awesome. I'll see you there. That's it. So was your confirm a place and time and a date. That's it. That's all you need. Do not over communicate. I would really steer away from over communication or starting detects back and forth whether it's a friend or whether it's potential love, interest in this case, they'll go back and forth and all that kind of stuff. A Sfar as confirming when you're let's see the day off to meet, you can do that. I generally speaking very okay with people not showing up. And it's I don't believe it's ever happened especially well in the last 345 years. I don't think it's ever happened in those in the past few years. Um, so what ends up happening go. One of three things Is that, um you confirmed it. Okay, so they might say the day off. Hey, I just wanted to see if you were still good for so and so they would text. And just to confirm, that's okay. So, again, school really get still on Second of all, they might say, Hey, um, something came up. Could we reschedule? Very rare than that happened, especially when you don't communicate that much. And they're like, yeah, anticipating hanging out with you or the third thing might happen is that they just show up and you're already there. So again, I'm Okay, We're just showing up at the cafe at the bar and just having a drink and waiting for this person there, and that's it. So I'm just OK with that. So be OK with showing up and then not showing up as well. So that's all you have to do. Other than that, because otherwise you're over communicating. You're over selling or you're being a little too needy in whatever situation that might be even professionally. So professionally, I might shoot on email, but let me know. You know, I'm meeting next week. Bob. It's cool. And then you put it on the calendar. You Google will counter and that's it. That's the reminder. OK, I'll send you. I'll send you a confirmation right now, especially professionally is very, very, very rare that people reschedule, or that they cancel indefinitely very, very rare that they don't show up. So again, confirmation wise as far setting up the thing, the meeting, I would I wouldn't for Impersonating confirmed, but yeah, that's, uh, that works 26. Stay in Touch: Alright, guys. So this is the final lecture in terms of this social skills course. And in this lecture, I want to talk about hottest, stay in touch in the right way and nourish relationships. So, you know, one of the best things that I find about Facebook is that you can keep in touch with friends, whether you travel or not living in the same city anymore and that sort of thing as well as it gives your reminders off birthdays and so on. So a great weight that I find to stay in touch is simply and I know a lot of the great leaders like I think it even if he even mentions it in book, How to Make Friends and influence people And the much of really amazing books when it comes to business and socializing and so forth is that, um, you know, sent me some kind of ah card during the holidays and that sort of thing. So going back to the point about Facebook having the whole birthday reminders to stay in touch, I usually let's say somewhere that I don't see very often where they live in another part of the world More importantly, I might say, Hey, you know which I'm Happy birthday on their birthday. Happy New Year's Merry Christmas, Whatever you don't Whatever holiday might be that you're celebrating in your country and, um and so, yeah, I would keep in touch in that way, just to, you know, let him know that I'm still there and still connected to him. The second thing is, I won't include this in this course is because it's the scope of this. Is is much bigger when it comes to hosting events. But another way is that you can simply sit up a get together. If you already have feeling confident and have the skills and the network, or you are already growing, your network happened, get together. Have a get together at your place or at a bar. If you want to do the clean up the pros of having out of your places that people bring, you could say, hey, brings bring your favorite drinking your favorite food. Uh, now you have a bunch of drinks for another party that people usually leave behind on, and so on and so on. The drawback is that you have to clean and so on. It's hard, but the positive. So posting in a public venue, like a hotel or hotel bar or something like that is that I was You don't have to clean. And also the staff takes care of everything. And it's usually very cool spot that you can. You could pick and have a public public but social gathering with your friends, your new friends and so on. So again, I would say hosting gatherings. It's a great way to do it. I've done it, you know, all over the world. I started doing in, actually in South Korea about places there. I didn't know the language. I didn't know basically anyone or had any connections and then began to host these charity events just for fun. And I started getting, you know, I don't know, 50 80 people. The very first I think 80 people. The first event, 2nd 1 It was 400. Ah, few 100. The next one. And then I got close to, you know, the biggest one was close to 1000 people, um, that I put together. So again, these air connections that are probably be more acquaintances to get deeper connections if that's what you're looking for, definitely have smaller events and solidify those connections. And maybe they said, to keep keep up with the larger network is best to host these events. Other than that, you know, have maybe a day that you get together with your friends or whatever pretty straightforward stuff. But if you really want to take it to the next level in terms of building a really ah, larger quality network host events, so I am will probably be creating a course in the future of Natural when about hosting events. I've been doing it almost wow almost 10 years on, and I started from nothing. Eso It's possible it's possible for you if you want to do it, so that's about it. Thanks for joining this course. I really appreciate it. Have other courses available from confidence to body language. I will be creating a leadership course pretty soon as well. So by the time that you see this, that might already be out. Other than that, you know, you just connect with me on my social media and if you like this course, please give it a five star review. I really appreciate that it makes a big difference when it comes to sharing everything that I've learned throughout the years. So again, thank you so much and good luck in your social life. 27. Thank you!: hi and thank you for being part of this course. My name is Philip, and I'm a professional confidence coach. I specialized in helping people improve their social skills, their networking skills, Aziz well as leadership skills. When it comes to business and even dating skills, since they're all related, they're all related to conference, and they're all related to mindset. So if you like this course, definitely let me know what your feedback is. Also followed me on skill share and check out some of the other courses I have on here. I'm adding a new course every single month, so stay tuned, and I would be very honored to have you continue your development for my courses. And I sincerely hope you enjoyed the course, and I would really appreciate a nice review. It would really help me reach a lot more students here on skill share. So I look forward to hearing about any feedback. You have a swell as continuing to help you with your development. Thank you again. A particular course 28. Bonus Lecture: How to talk to anyone interview.: what is going on, guys. So I'm very excited because in today's interview I am interviewing once again my brother Angelo. He is basically one of the best that I've ever seen in regards to socializing and connecting at a very deep level with people and in dating as well. I've learned a lot from him in terms of, you know, dating, socializing on and really being more in the moment and not having so much thoughts in my head and that sort of thing. So I think you're gonna learn a lot from this interview. So check it out and let me know what you think. What is going on? Guys, it's happening. But here with social Buddha and I am here with my brother Angelo. Ah, and I'm excited because today I want to talk about a topic. I think that's really important for the Social Buddha community, which is how to be more social. How to be more confident. Ah, so, Angela, thanks for being here with me. Um what is your take on being more social in? How? From your experience? More than anything, I want to get your your perspectives about you. How did you become more social and how they said that you're able to basically strike up conversations with anyone. Greed, Everyone, Uh, I learned a lot of the things that I do in terms of socially from you. Um, so what made the biggest difference for you when it came to becoming more social? I got First of all, let me hear. Very excited to be here. Uh, I think, uh, just the fact that it was very important for me to be social, to be able to break for a lot of barriers, that I always felt that they were limiting me to concern weight, whether was professionally with women with the friendships and with different things. So Ah, some of the main things that I realized was that, uh that the more you actually, uh, tried to help people and turn away. The more you become so powerful and actually meeting people. So you really have no agenda on what to say. You know, like when you are with people or you got to the new people, we always have an agenda trying to get something for ourselves, and that makes us nervous and makes a needy. That makes us looking for approval in turn away and where me was effect that when I created a concept that was cold creating your your own energy not depending on energy outside yourself in order to create the fun. Um, it was something that I tested a while back where we went out to different clubs to different bars, and we didn't depend on anybody to have a tax sweet. We jump with pence. We went crazy on her own, and that automatically involved other people that complain on people or it was continues for the people, and you spread that kind of energy to other people that it was massively done. I remember I'm or ah, I was with a friend of mine. I went to this club and and when you started talking to different tables and he was like clearly 34 tables and we just had him like jumping and dancing and chatting with them and smiling. And suddenly we saw that the reaction is continued through all of the clock just for most report table that we had just talked and spoken to. So they were just Ah, just amazing to see that US energy switch that chip inside of you that instead of ah, going up there something for yourself or or just kind of acquiring something. Everything is changes. If you go out there to being like the energy that you actually are, the fun of everything. Whether you talk to people or not doesn't matter. But you are. You have to buy over Oba just being fun carefree that automatically brings people sooner or later no matter what. Eso How do you so I mean the vibe and everything sounds great. Ah, and you know, we've talked a lot about it for a while. How do you actually do it? How do you switch it? What part of switching is actually starting? Taking action on one simple thing. Sometimes baby steps. Sometimes you get out of the house, you start saying hi to people. You start waving to people in the most common and humble way that you can you are It's which people could day which people Good afternoon and automatically that started bringing you on. I guess you can call it a kind of ah, rolling, uh, snoble socializing. So when you start with people that you meet on the street, it started exploding by time. You get to the venue that you're going to you already spoken to, like 2030 people on the way. So it is becomes natural. Just keep saying the same thing. And then as soon as you start doing that is stick with the conversation by simple questions and people just getting H because they're interested in talking about themselves because they are there to be free from their mental prison, so off whenever they have during the day, work, whatever waas and when you don't have an agenda you like totally carefree. I mean, obviously a lot of people ball there, and they like Target women. The targets are in kind of specific things. I don't think it's about that. It's more about just meeting anyone, and eventually you'll get to the person that you actually thought you were gonna target at the beginning. So it is just that by gets created through Ah, they're just taking action and having no agenda when you want there to be people nice and I know we way. We have a few different sense in regards to how we approach all this, and I think one of the biggest things that I really like about what you say is the whole thing about taking action. So why does taking action actually ship your mentality, Ship your mind state and shift your energy? Why does it work? It's the experience that you're living right. I'm you can always tell yourself am very social. I talked to everybody and it's one thing to live in your mind and think re, uh, wants where I'm looking for Teoh to support it with the physical action in order to live the experience and living that experience. That a medical please gives that connection to the brain that you are actually doing it. And it's so powerful because now you're in the moment doing it. And what could you be more real than that when you already seen it in your head and you're physically done it and you already experience it. That's really powerful for you to get out there and start meeting people. And I think that CIA, even if it's like little steps, baby steps like I was saying, If you're waving a people, you're saying kind to be fighting people, it's those little steps that eventually will live the bigger steps. So I like the idea of a switch. Spoken quite a bit before in terms of switching it to giving and all that kind of stuff. Now, you know, there are times when people will, you know, I've been guilty of that. Um, I know you've been guilty, but we were not perfect. But when we say we're gonna do something for giving, uh, dinner to give, but on the back of our mind will still have a little bit of an agenda that were not even aware of, um, how do you fully get on the mode of giving and not get discouraged by, Let's say, you know, one or two bad reactions or maybe in the beginning, you're starting out, and it's like, Why I've never done this before. I've never talked to people have never greeted people in the streets. Um, What are they going to say to me? How do you get over any kind of quote unquote rejection or negative reactions? Well, I think if you're actually feeling any of rejection is because you're actually trying toe see something. So when you very poison people, you don't know how many and I'll be honest. Even when I started, a lot of people never wait back, Member said. Fight. But it wasn't much for you because I was not. You need just wishing them on a good day was like, Oh, how could they? What's morning humbled in that, whether they took it or not, it was their decision. Whether they wanted to say it back or not. It didn't matter to me. So Ah, I think it's a reframe as well. You go out there and you is doing it when you start feeling that you're actually being rejected. If you bet about something, it's a for me. It's a think the notice. I'm trying to get something or I'm not comfortable where I'm at. You know what I mean by not that I'm not comfortable. Well, if you're not comfortable in your reality, I mean, if you go out there and you're feeling like people are rejecting you, it's because you're not. You're not okay with where you're at. You're trying to get somewhere else, so the first thing to do is to accept where you're at, even though it could be a better place in your mind. It could be anything first thing is to accept where you at and then final. Release that and concentrate on the thing for others. Whether it doesn't, it doesn't have to be the person that you're actually going up there. Okay, if you if you do it for the first record after he makes it a little bit even worse because you already target that person specially, in this case of women or man, then it automatically targets are persons were already trying to get something in return. But in reality, if you if you do, you switch back, it gets turned around. And the first person disease, you're right. You buy them a drink automatically, that nothing that you use done changes your whole mentality. One because it's a random person, you're doing it to buy them a drink is not to get something and automatically takes you on a different mother from our perspective. So when you feel that ah, that you're not okay where were gathered, you feel rejected or are you trying to get somewhere else or whatever? Did you feeling bad about the moment? Uh, you start. My little baby steps off What were given look like and not necessarily. Like I said, look, target specific people because you're already trying to get something for that specific person. My brother. If the scenario is a bar, then find somebody drink. If it's on the street wishing them a good day, run them people that you've never met like this use the first person that comes in front of you. That's right, right? The little steps are the ones are gonna switch your around chip around. Right? Right. So it's speaking of that. I mean, we all get caught up in the chase. We all get caught up in being overwhelmed because we have certain goals and we're trying to get there or frustration, different things that happen in life. Um, what would you suggest to keep that I mean, for you in regards to social. I see. It's obviously been something that you've ingrained in yourself. It's faras giving and all that kind of stuff. Um, how do you tell someone that is your starting now? Or that is maybe you know, has been, you know all about, you know? Ah, what can I get? Or goals or different things? And so for this person being reject this big deal and so on and so on. Um, so how do you practice on a regular basis and even remind yourself? Because it is practice. I mean, in the sense you do have to practice, it is not something that especially, let's say in the scenario, that is, it is someone that has not been that social before and and, you know, for the for the, you know, for him or for her, the concept will be in social might feel all the ideas that might come up might be like, Oh, they're gonna think I'm weird or I'm gonna get rejected And all these different scenarios that would happen that have to do with rejection and getting validation all these different things when you take action. Um, how do you train yourself continuously to give? I think one of the one of the things that I used to do a lot of things, if you really want to look at the techniques, is that, uh, I used to set up an alarm on my phone several times per day in order to remind myself that I want for that I of that point that I I needed to be talking to people way Get cut up his base, Say things. So we Yes, we have a job. We have things to do love a lot on sometimes we need, like, a little trigger. Tell us eight before the wrong path or check on yourself if you have the right path. And that's one of things that helped me a lot in order to come back to being social. And the other thing, I think it's also the fact that if you're specifically setting time to go out Oh, uh, also have a certain kind of us. I would call it a support system where you go to the places where you already met the bucks in there the the workers there, waitresses, waiters that already bring you back to the state of mind off socializing because they already know you. So you can always count on that to back you social weight. I mean, one of the things I always suggested obviously people that I coach and I talked to was that whenever you go to a bar, uh, some of the main people in the key people you might want to meet first is the bartender. The people that work there because there always are going to be the ones that you fall back on. If you're feeling in any way negative about something, they will always be there friendly for, you know. So that will be another point to go back home and start and and, uh, lunch forward again to be social. Achieving goes. Obviously, they're always also key to when you're inviting people. Yeah, I just have a good president used, Mac, you know, by the first round level of lock or whatever it is, it's, uh, meet my friends with the bartender. He already gives you some kind of value and giving people when you introduce him to the actual work. Working hard. What? What are you giving? I mean, you mentioned in the beginning you mentioned, um I think it was, um, creating this type of energy around where it just spreads. And that kind of stuff, given energy was specifically from your point of view. What are you giving? That s a very good question. They thought about it for a while because I think it's a little bit different for every person. What they are naturally giving into in mining sexually creating on environment. It's creating good times for people. It's it's making people smile and laugh. That actually get Joyal when I have people laughing or are people that have having a stressful day of work and I show up and I'm able to create a relaxed now, I would like more of a one and laughing environment for them. It's just I don't know. It's very rewarding for me that every time I go back to my always go back the same spot and they always remember me for that because, uh, everyone in even if they're having a bad day or their use, um, having been clients when you make them smile, everything switches for them and they'll remember you for ages. And every time you show up to that place, there will always react with the same smile to receive you. So it's just so amazing to be able to do that for people. And I think that's one of my natural birches to do that wherever I go wherever I am, I always create a good time for people. Whether you're joking anything that's part of it, and I think it's different for every person on the other people are there to. Obviously, it's all about energy to share their energy, racer and kind of environment. And other people are there to share the conversation, that knowledge, there, different things to give, so whatever it is, each person that can actually, uh, getting touch with their natural way off giving. And that's a big thing. And I think, you know, to go along with what you're saying this it's it's not just in regards to I, um What do we people? One. What can I give when currently is, you know, what do you love doing? What do you enjoy? What do you, for example, Um, you know, in your case, humorous Big. I mean, you you're one of the funniest guys I know. And your banter is just, you know, awesome. And and also in regards to your energy, your very, very high energy and fun in that kind of stuff. So for other people like you said, it might be conversation or teaching, or it might be listening or something like that. And but I think it's in regards also to what you you enjoy within the attraction or what you would enjoy with um, interacting with people. You know, if there was no Noah specific end result you had in mind and, um, some curious. I want talk about two things. The 1st 1 is how do you start conversation conversations? And then the 2nd 1 is, um how do you make it humor. It's like, How do you create humor around a conversation and, um, getting kind of dive? Um, you know, a conversation into a more of a fun, humorous type of thing. So first of all, how do you start conversations? I think it's a very, uh, it's a very. It's a question that a lot of people think it's really hard, but it is the simplest thing ever, like you could come up with somebody made. Hey, that's going. Ah, simple of that. Obviously, competition continues. I know for experiencing us well, back where we started with being social that, uh, we thought we run out of things to say. But the reality is that the person in front of you, it's always gonna tell you what to us next so you can have a question about anything. Where you from? Oh, I am from blah, blah, blah Also what's there to do? Like anything would just come And you find anything within that conversation to keep going and going and going, and the thing about turning it into fun and funny, I think it has to do a lot with. Actually, you'll be able to also make fun of your own self. If you're okay with taking a joke, then you're okay with giving a joke. So when you're secure about that, you're able to get a weight with so many different things that people can't really think about sometimes. But yeah, it is where you come from. It is if you are saying a joke for saving joke than it comes out really bad. You're saying that your a joke Sorry are your whatever it is that joke a joke that having from, ah, from a place of insecurity, people are gonna feel it. But when you are used up person, they're, uh, you're able to to even throw stupid stuff out there by yourself. Then people know that it's funny. People know that they can get you back on anything. You're not secure about talking about that subject. So if it is sexual, just another subject but sexually, Pittis, uh, just mentoring or use actually messing with people, which, Yeah, messing with people. People get it because you're coming from a place or that you already expected them to say something back, and usually they can't say it, but if they say it, you're okay with that too, right? A lot of people go up there, try to put people job, conserve away through the humor, or they, uh they say something that they think it's funny. And when they come back with their they have no nothing to say because they came from and secure place from land that they probably ran a book like, Oh, here, let me tell you a joke. Oh, I'm gonna tell you that you choose stink because their love, love, love and then they feel secure because that's not them. So it is. You know, where you come from and you being okay with everything. With yourself, you're confident about your own humor. It doesn't matter if they left or not. I mean, that's a big That's a big That's a big reason. I mean, many times things were not even funny, But people laugh because you're not seeking approval. People sometimes left because I'm laughing. Yeah, it wasn't funny. Money was left. People's money for me. You're not laughing and having a good time. It's your problem. So it's a matter where you're coming from, if you like. I said, If you creating your own energy, your own fun, then people will feel that you care about People are laughing or not, because you just creating the Bible is having a good time. That's contagious. And even though it's not funny, people will laugh and they just become part of it. So in regards to our connecting with people and I've seen you mean you connect very well with people right from from the start, what do you think is the biggest? Maybe you've already mentioned Maybe it is the giving. Maybe that's part of it. What is the biggest way that you connect with people? And what is the what is the reason why people feel such a strong connection so fast to you ? And they're like, you know, you're inviting somewhere they're ready to go or whatever it ISS, so that you make such instant deep connections so fast. I think it's effect that we're scared to us the serious questions in a fun way clean and that the everything needs to be serious. It's not. It's not. People are actually wanna have fun in their problems, but they used done, you should get it. So when us serious questions, in one way, people actually create new experiences about their experience. So what would be an example when the temple probably will be? Let me think of one that I have recently, uh, I don't know, best best sexual experience if it's a guy, and and have you ever have you ever, uh, had an early ejaculation? People usually are not people. Usually the masters things straight up, and it's funny, used to break those those, uh, barriers because they become completely open. People are not expecting it, but when you're uncomfortable with that, you already got to know them better than their friends because they're able to talk about it in a fun way rather than the problematic moved to break that all of that sooner than later because the sooner, if you were conscious of your company, enoughto be able to do that. Uh, people automatically connect with you because you're making and feel good about something. That was in other words, Um I mean, this is really powerful because you are using humor. Teoh. Help people let go of their shame, Yes, and to be vulnerable in a way. So in other words, I mean, here's what I have seen and what I understand now, I think more more importantly, is that you are letting people be vulnerable, be themselves, um, and not take themselves so seriously just through humor and through fun. All right, what's what's really shameful about different things in life? It's on your head, Rain. The reality is a reality that whatever it is that happened or that it's happening. It is just in that we have created a probable story about it. You know, if he has to do with letting people down or with anything else, he doesn't really matter, because how many people have let you down? I have this conversation the other day with the person, and it was comparing what? When you're actually going up? The women women have let you down so many times, and you don't even see it because you're after the chase. But when a guy lets a woman down is so powerfully them psychologically yourself, us a man because we're after the chase again. But when that changes automatically everything that you kind of ah waas serious and and shameful and pro and you could call it I don't know bad. It doesn't matter. Everybody in this world has done it. They have their own things that has happened in their lives. And the only difference is how everybody takes it. And the fact that when you're chasing up the woman or a guy or a job, including it affects you the most because you're in the chase more when you let go, Bernie, Alka, then you're able to not care about whatever it is that the have resulted it. So whatever the result, this it doesn't affect you. It doesn't affect you at all because you could care less. And it's also the fact that we live in scarcity. But we just ruining with this person all the cost. So, like there's nobody else coming along. Come on. Yeah, and that makes sense. And e think it's a matter of, ah of noticing that life for me. At least it started a stop being so serious a while back when I decided and realized that, uh, everything could be fun, even the bad experiences. How do you set up? Well, it's noticing it is not knowing, knowing and being able to see the fact that nothing means anything that any act, any situation, anything that happens around you, huh? The pain that we feel in the griefs that we give it and the perspective that will give it It is up to us the way that we were brought up, that we were programmed the way we see things now or the way we think we need things now way need something right now. Of course, it's gonna affect us in a very deep level. And were you gonna do as much as we can? Um, Teoh be able to hold on to that moment that we that we have something, right? Right. As you were saying. So when you realize that, uh, any at any situation, anything that happens in front of you, uh, doesn't mean anything in in reality, the sooner you actually can created one experience out of it. The sooner you gonna feel even better about it. Because really, you've got to know that um, we don't need to go through a process all the time. We don't need Teoh to to think that we need to feel bad in order Teoh to learn our lesson. We need to do this in order to get that. In reality, we already know it. It's a matter of discovering and you knowing that we know it. It will give us at to my knowledge, so in regards to the process. And I'm curious about this because we have some different ideas in regards to healing and everything. So what's your take on healing in regards to this specific contexts on the Pacific concept , off bad experiences in the context of not having a process off, not having to go through a process or feeling bad and all that kind of stuff? What's your take on healing? You know, emotional healing. Well, I think every person is different. Obviously I know that that I do go through processes but doesn't mean you need a process, uh, sooner that you actually are able to see what your are. What you supposed to get out of that experience and know that a process uh, it could be tricky. He could trap you and take you on a journey where you really go deep. Or it could be a simple just waking up. It could be a simple of. Okay, uh, it's it's hard to emotionally detach from a situation because, especially depending on home, how much effort you committed to a situation or or how invested you are in it. What the reality is that? Ah, it doesn't. It's not needed for your survival is not needed for you to exist. And the sooner you know that your complete in every way, the sooner that the process doesn't need to take place. So, um okay, that makes sense. We have Ah, we have a mentality that we we have. Ah, we have to suffer. We have got the process. We have to go with this because of the way we work. But in reality, the sooner you realize that you just complete and that you already know what you post to get from that experience, right? The sooner that knowing will appear. So what you're saying is, yeah, there is a process. The issue is when you make a process an excuse to keep suffering. Good, right? Yeah, There that make sense? Well, anything else that you would give a Sephora's tips to really again, um, really switch from wanting and getting to giving and being more social. Ah, and how to get started For someone that's never been social before, Anything else that you can think of that would help someone ah, you know, to start being more social and and maybe a reason why they the would benefit from it in regards to their overall quality of I've their happiness. And so on the one of the big inaugural concert that are collections of justice find a bigger purpose. And you, what a bigger purpose of why you trying to be social that you, when you find a bigger purpose of motivation, will be greater and the easier will become, you know, and that you find a bigger purpose that bigger than you. Then everything that you're trying to get for people will disappear, right? Nice, awesome. Well, that's Ah, that's everything for today. Thanks, Angela, for being on the call. If people wanted to get in touch with you for coaching, Uh, what email or how can the contact? Well, they can ah can email me the same female painful at social. Buddha slash social slash dot com Awesome. All right, well, the that's everything for today. We'll see you guys later. And, uh, we'll see in the next interview. Thanks so much, I think.