Small Talk 101: How to Master Any Networking Situation | Jen Brown | Skillshare

Small Talk 101: How to Master Any Networking Situation

Jen Brown, Communications Adventurer

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9 Lessons (42m)
    • 1. Introduction

      2:18
    • 2. Prepare for Your Audience

      5:45
    • 3. Prep Your Skills

      6:05
    • 4. Your Elevator Pitch

      6:04
    • 5. Find Your "In"

      5:35
    • 6. Keep the Conversation Going

      5:00
    • 7. Active Listening

      5:48
    • 8. Leaving the Conversation

      4:20
    • 9. Recap + What's Next

      1:01

About This Class

In this class, we’ll dive into small talk during professional networking situations. Starting from initial audience assessment and constructing an elevator pitch to how to get out of awkwardly long conversations, we’ll learn the basics of effective small talk. 


Students will learn:

  • how to prepare for networking situations;
  • audience assessment;
  • tools to construct an authentic elevator pitch;
  • how to approach people and conversation groups;
  • strategies to keep the conversation going;
  • active listening skills;
  • ways to enter and exit conversations.

This class is for anyone who wants to improve their professional small talk and networking skills.

Transcripts

1. Introduction: Hello and welcome to small Talk 101 My name's John Brown and I'm the founder of the engaging Educator. Since 2012 the engaging educator has helped over 40,000 students with their communication presentation and social skills all through improv. And today we're going to dive into small talk. Now, I personally hate small talk because of so many things, One of them is probably the same reason you don't like small clock. It's always this superficial Banzer That seems like it doesn't go anywhere afterwards. You sit there and you go all I wish I would have sat her. Oh, I wish I could have thought of this. And you have all the ideas in the end, or you're sitting through one of those super awkward moments where you really want the conversation to move forward and you don't know what to dio or you screw up introducing yourself. Suddenly Hi, my name is and I sound so contrived and trite and just doesn't make sense with who you are and the situation you're in. Well, today we're gonna tackle all of that and more. Some of the things we're gonna work on in this class We're definitely gonna work on that elevator pitch and we're gonna make it work for your audience. You're actually gonna leave with a pretty nice structure for an elevator pitch, along with conversation topics, things you can bring up when those awkward silences come in. We're also gonna think about entrance and exit lines. How are we going to be able to get into and out of those awkward conversations? We're gonna think about your communication style in those conversations. And I am going to tell you one of the biggest secrets about small talk away to make everyone like you. It is actually really, really simple. So again, I'm really excited that you're joining us today. I'm super pumped her in this class. Please definitely follow because I will be doing other classes and list any questions, comments, thoughts. Put your homework definitely down there because I love interacting with students and having conversations. So I'm really excited toe have not small talk with you again. Welcome to small Talk 101 I'm John Brown and let's get started 2. Prepare for Your Audience: Hello and welcome back to small talk one on one. I'm Jen Brown with the engaging educator. The first thing we're gonna dive into with your small talk is Who are you talking? Teoh? Your audience is so incredibly important. So often we go into these situations thinking about what we want and not what they want. So when you're prepping for your small talk situation, your next one actually, there's a few questions. I want you to start thinking about your audience, these air, some of those questions. The 1st 1 is, what kind of group are you thinking about? A professional or a social situation? Then will you know any of them? Are you gonna have a refuge in the storm? You're gonna have somewhere to go. Then will there be a lot of people there or just a few people? Will they know you now? Not saying you're all infamous and absolutely scary or intimidating or awesome. You probably are all awesome, but will these people know you by association? Will you see any of them again? Now, if the answer to that is no, you really need to think about being the US version of you if you have one shot to impress these people, one shot to make this, then you have to be you. You don't have to be perfect. You just can't be anyone else. So if you're not going to see them again, really consider that, then. Are these folks connections or associations? Are you looking at people that might be connected to you with work or people that you might have been associated with in the past? Maybe they work for the position that you used to be in, or maybe they have the position that you really want. Ultimately, you're answering the question. Who are you talking, Teoh? And when you're thinking about this, who are you talking to? You can run it through a few other filters again. Is it social or is it professional? Is it a current job or future goals? Are you thinking about your work? But you just need to get paid. Or maybe it's your career, something that's very long term. Is it regular something that every day and comes up all the time? Or is it special, like a big conference or something that you've been really looking forward to? And again, is it important or is it the every day these questions really attack into who you're talking to and what you really want to start thinking about after you determine who you're talking to is what they want, both what you want and what they want, actually, So what do you want out of this situation? Are you looking to get a new job? Are you looking for a new collaboration? Are you more just prospecting and seeing what's out there? And are they looking to hire someone, or are they just coming for the good food and the chat and free drinks? A lot of times, that's what happens at networking situations. So putting undue stress and pressure on it is only gonna hurt you in the end. So really thinking about what you want and what they want is gonna help you out immensely. In the end, the next thing I want you to really consider is what success for you. What does that look like? What is a good networking situation? What is a good small talk look like for you? And why might this audience be there now? We tapped into that a little bit in thinking about what they want. So if they're there because there's free food and drinks and it happens every Thursday night and they worked on the street, they're probably not gonna want to talk about serious work stuff because this is part of their routine, and its success for you is getting your resume in the hands of this person. You're probably not going to be that successful. So taking that step back and building in some success in these small talk and networking situations, maybe for thinking professional success for you is talking to three people you didn't know before you walked in. And maybe if you're thinking personal, if success for you is having a conversation with one person, you didn't know beforehand. Professional networking is a little simpler than personal networking. I like to think in professional, we have the guys and not really guys, but more so this field in front of us this career, this job, this kind of safety nut. When you're thinking about personal, it kind of goes away because personal networking and personal small talk becomes very, very intimate very, very quickly. If some people ask strange questions, so again, really think about What success looks like for you, If you want to walk out of there with a marriage proposal is probably not gonna work really well. Now, in the end, some of those goals might be to meet new people, to get a new job, to find a mentor, to find a mentee, to get out of work or to start a new opportunity. There's one thing in common. You're both there to make connections, and in the end, when you're thinking about making those connections, how can you both get what you want? How do you align both of those things? Meet in the middle and see if you both can accomplish it. So remember, you're thinking about who you're talking to, what they want, what you want and how you both can win post. Any questions you got below comments, things like that. I really enjoy talking about audiences. I think it's something that a lot of people avoid and we'll see you in the next session when we're thinking about something other than the audience by 3. Prep Your Skills: Welcome back to small talk one on one. I'm done brown with the engaging educator. Now, since we just thought about audience were now than a tap into getting ourselves ready. And no, we are not thinking about what we're gonna say yet. We're thinking about all of this. So first off, how often do you work your voice? Come on, think about it. How often have you warmed up your voice before a big speaking arrangement or a conversation or a small talk situation calling out that often it takes hundreds of muscles just to say one word. So first, before we even think about what we're gonna say, we're gonna build ourselves a warmup structure because I bet you've tripped over words before, and I bet you've said something in kind of a weird way because your tongue and your lips kind of got in the way. And that's because you haven't stretch those muscles. So the first thing I want you to do, we're going to do a few silly activities with our face. So please keep in minds that you might not want to be doing this at your desk. And if you are at your desk, maybe go to the bathroom. I don't mind looking silly on camera, but as you'll see some of the warm up exercises that I'm about to do our best suited for the bathroom or maybe the car or your house before you go to the first thing you want to do is really stretch your mouth because these are all muscles, and you wouldn't just go and work out and run 10 miles if you weren't stretching your muscles. So I want you to open your mouth as why did you had really owe a huge debt? Overextended in case even here, in that and ah, and I want you to pretend like you're chewing the biggest piece of go that you have ever chewed before in your life. So really like chomp it out like No, you know, No, no. Whatever do A is over extending the muscles that used to speak. You're essentially stretching, so before you run, you have to stretch before you speak. You also have to stretch, so when you're stretching these muscles, you really want to open up and close. Open a and close. Another thing that's really helpful for working on your enunciation, our tongue twisters. Now, you don't want to speak like you do with tongue twisters all the time, cause you're gonna sound a little crazy. But when you're doing these tongue twisters, you want to over a nun, See eight. So a few that I'm gonna walk through with you and show you what they should sound like. Because again, you're really thinking about using your whole mouth. The 1st 1 is unique. New York, dear. I hit those in their I really want you to do that. So almost as if you're gonna spit when you talk so unique. New York, then the next one. Red leather, yellow leather. See how my mouth is almost moving like a cartoon character? Really wide, really open. You want to make sure that you're stretching in here because if you're just seeing red leather, yellow leather, you're not doing the job that the tongue Twister is supposed to be doing the next one Irish wrist watch. That one's tough. So if you stumble over, it takes some extra time with it. And the last one the lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue, the tip of the tongue, the teeth the lips really think about those words as they're leaving your mouth. I mean, words have currency. You don't want to keep running your mouth, so consider making it as crisp and tight as possible. Do one thing people don't often talk about is this idea. I'll get in your body in motion. You want to stand with your feet underneath your knees underneath your hips underneath your shoulders. You can get into this kind of youth hip sticking out Once you know people, you know, people like us all the time, but it doesn't give as much authority and openness as you want. You would unclench your shoulders. If you feel like your shoulders are getting really tense, bring about to your ears and drop down. Bring up to your ears and dropped down and one more time up to your ears and drop them down . You don't stand with your arms crossed in front of you or your legs crossed in front of you . This is actually a nonverbal for insecurity. So when you're thinking about doing things like this, if you're standing like those ladies, we tend to do this. We're taking up a little bit of space. We're trying to make ourselves as small as possible. What it's really telling people is that you look nervous and you might feel nervous, too. So again, you want your feet underneath your knees, unlocked those knees underneath your hips underneath your shoulders. Big deal here. Very serious moment. Unclench your But let that booty Xiang. Now, the reason I say this is because we carry a lot of tension here and here. We've handled the shoulders for bringing him up to our ears. When you're thinking about your but everyone real quick, clench your butt and say hello. Okay. Now unclench your butt and say hello here. The difference. Hello? Hello. You can see it to you. See this area start to tense up. Now what this is is again giving out that nervous energy you get the energy you put out. So if you're putting out energy that you look nervous or shy or scared, that's what people are gonna take back. And they're not gonna go. Oh, she's nervous or shy or scared. They're going to say, Oh, she looks standoffish or she looks like she doesn't belong here. So remember, you get the energy you put out warm up this warm up this and unclench. Oh, but see you next time 4. Your Elevator Pitch: quick. 60 seconds. Who are you? I'm kidding. It's really difficult to come up with who you are on the fly, and it will only be better if you practice. So welcome back again. I'm John Brown with the engaging educator, and this is small Talk 101 We are thinking right now about elevator pitches. Now the idea of an elevator pitch is kind of weird. It's what you would say to a person if you were riding in an elevator between floors. So, basically, is that 13 and 90 seconds it takes to introduce yourself in an alligator. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want people talking to me in an elevator. I kind of would rather just not talk, and everyone goes where we need to go. But the idea of how small that elevator pitch is, how specific it has to be for that amount of time is something that I really value. So we're going to really dive into these elevator pitches now. And remember, this is part of your take away for this whole class. So if you want to pull out that worksheet, pull up that worksheet, get something to write on and really think in specifics for this entire lesson. So first thing you need to do is think about that audience. Now. This is a bit of a recap, but I really want you to think about who you're talking Teoh. If you don't pick a specific audience for this actual lesson, you're not gonna leave with a really strong pitch that you possibly could use. So pick an audience that you might use. For example, I might say I'm going to use an audience of professionals that might use my services. So I'm a communications coach, so that really could be anyone. But as you can see, it's professional and not social. So that's the first day is really deciding who that is in keeping that person in your mind in the back of your mind. So you know who you're talking to the entire time now, in reference to that audience, Who are you? What do you do and why do they care? So in that audience, I'm John Brown. I run the engaging educator and I help people with their communication skills. Now I might even trim that down shorter, but for now, we'll keep it there. So think about who are you? What do you do and why do they care? Now? Notice? I'm not saying Hey, you care because you communicate badly. No, I'm like, Hey, I help people with their communication skills. I didn't say I fixed people's communication skills, cause it don't. I help them. So when you're thinking about those questions, I want you to really write out a statement right now, maybe a couple sentences before you move forward. So if you can pause, if you can put it on, hold right down those few sentences. Now that you're back from that pause, we're gonna think about cutting the fats. So I want you to take that sentence those few sentences and I want you to time yourself. Once you've timed yourself, I want you to cut it now. That's right. I don't want you to talk in a fast manner. I don't want you to speed talk. I don't want you to go book like you're doing a tongue twister. I want you to take that 30 seconds and I want you to make it 15 by cutting out the extra information. So if you remember in the beginning. I was like, I am done, Brown. I run the engaging educator. I help people with their communication communication skills. See, that's why you gotta warm up. Now. If I wanted to cut that down, I might say hi. I'm Jen. I run a business that helps people with their communication skills. Now, I've cut a little bit of that fat. No one really needs to know the name of my company unless they care. Like if you want to hire me like Oh, what do you dio What's the name of your company? What do what do you work for? It might be some of those questions. So again, you're gonna take that longer one. And you're gonna cut it in half? No. After you've cut that in half, don't you have that? You might say I'm done, and I help with communications skills. Simple. Is that now for feeling really bold? Half that time. I'm not lying here. One of the reasons why you do this when you have these times, is you're getting rid of all the extraneous information Now, I had a really short elevator pitch to begin with. There was a client. I was working with not too long ago that told me he was a financial adviser for a business . It was a hardware company. He helped people do this, that and the other. So when you're getting into that many details, you really need to trim it down. If you already have a really tight elevator pitch that says who you are, what you do and why they should care. And you're really thinking of that audience, you might not need to turn it down as much. But even I got down to a place that was a little more concise and a little more specific. One of the big parts of this is practicing out loud. You definitely don't want to do this just in your head. So go up to your dog. Go up to your roommate, your partner, anybody like that and really say it to them and see what they think. Now don't write this down, because if you write things down word for word, I should say, Don't write this down and memorize it. Word for word. When you do that, you memorize word order versus remembering the feeling. So write down phrases, write down bits and write down points. You don't necessarily need to write down the word high because you probably will say hi. So if you just put down Jen communication skills business, that's it. That way you have these ideas already going, so when you're in the moment, you won't be completely shocked and surprised. But what's happening now? Work on your homework for the elevator pit. Please ask any questions below. Let me know if you have any discussion comments, anything like that. I am super happy to review any of these elevator pitches. So please definitely post, and I will let you know what I think and where we can edit things. Thanks again and see you next time. 5. Find Your "In": Hello and welcome back to small talk. What a one. I'm den brown with the engaging educator. Now we're thinking about how to get into those conversations. You've already thought about your audience. You have a bang up elevator pitch that you're ready to use with real people and not just your dog, and you really want to try it out. So how did you figure out what group works? Say you're at a crowded networking situation with 100 people. How do you connect with those people? What do you look for? So one of the big things that I tell people is body language matters. When you're looking around the room and you see someone standing like this or hunched over or looking down, you probably don't want attack to them because you have no idea what's going on in their life. They might have just gotten fired. You would have just gotten broken up with. So limit your I'm going to save the world to whatever you do on the side for your hobby. If you're doing professional or personal networking, look for some body language cues that will help you find the people you want to talk, Teoh. Now, some of the things that you could be looking for You're looking for someone that might be alone. Maybe they are standing by themselves with a drink or by the food table. Now, you also might be looking for someone with an open stance. This goes back to that. Warm up that feet underneath your knees, underneath your hips underneath your shoulders, not arms, Cross. Not like turned off like that with your legs. You want to look for someone who looks welcoming whose shoulders? Maybe open. It might be facing out towards an audience, and they're not in a tight little group. Now, if you see a group of people huddled together, what you're probably witnessing is more of a private conversation. So maybe not approach that group. They might not be the most receptive to your amazing elevator pitch. When you find that group that you're looking for, you want to start thinking about some conversation starters now. Hopefully, you've thought about these conversation starters prior to getting in the room. But in case you haven't a nice weight in is always your introduction. It's always the Hi, I'm 10. I help people with their communications skills. Now, when you're thinking about these ways into these conversations, you also contact into interests. So it might be interests of where you here it might be interests of. Wow, that food looks really good. I love food. You like food Now I'm purposely being a little awkward in this because that's what ends up happening when you don't think about these things in advance. These questions that you're asking any question you're asking should always be an open ended question. If you want to get information so open ended, questions are different than closed questions. Open ended questions have many, many answers. So do you like food? Is not an open ended question. It has two answers. Yes and no. There might be a maybe in there, but that person's a smart ass, so you have to answer is yes and no. Now, when you're thinking about that question that you're coming up with, you don't want to get too personal. If you get into the realm of what makes you happy in your life or what is success for you, you get into the first date situations, and that's not always appropriate. The first time you talk to someone. So when you're thinking about these questions, ask the things that you're also curious about. Maybe you're in a space. The space of man is a great example. So if you can see back here, I have some bookcases and they're organized by color. So you might ask the person if you're in this space, for example, like, Wow, have you ever seen a bookcase organized by color? Now that's a closed end in question, but it could lead into an open one by saying, What do you think about it? Like, would you do this at your house? And that's open. You've got What do you think about it? They can give some information and how they feel. And would you do this at your house? This is not my house, but still, they and I would do this at my house, though. So So you look, that's, ah, conversation, even that I haven't even thought about. And I did this. So when you're asking these open ended questions, you're really seeking to get people talking about themselves Now, I said at one point I'd give you the secret of how to make people like you When people talk about themselves, they like you. The reason why they like you is because they're talking about themselves. Now when someone has asked about themselves, their opinions, their personality to talk about them and someone's actually listening to them. There's research that shows the same areas of our brain that light up with sex, cocaine and good food. They light up when people are talking about themselves. How amazing is that, Like that idea of getting someone to talk about their own experiences and getting them to let flip a switch on and suddenly have this good feeling that good feeling is gonna pass on to you Now here's the trick, though. You have to really listen when people are talking and show it more on that in the next lesson. Thank you so much. We'll see you back next time and definitely post any questions or thinking about if you want a workshop. Any questions, posts, comment. Have a discussion, and I'm happy to weigh in on it. See you soon. Bye 6. Keep the Conversation Going: Hello and welcome back to small Talk 101 I'm done brown with the engaging educator. So now that we're in the conversation, were there we introduce yourselves. Maybe we're asking a question or two. I want us to take a step back and think about our communication style. There are a few main communication styles for actually that I want to see where you fall in . So this is kind of a self diagnostic moment. I want you to really think about the descriptions of these styles and really consider where you classify yourself and if there's any room for improvement. This is not saying that you need to change who you are. It is saying that we all can improve myself included, and I teach people how to communicate. So the four communication styles are aggressive, passive, passive, aggressive and assertive. When you're thinking about aggressive communication first, you probably know the people that are aggressive communicators. You can probably feel that their aggressive when they're around, they only care about their needs. They're probably agenda oriented. A bomb could go off in front of them and they still want to talk about what they want to talk about. They make a lot of eye contact. They standard close to you, and it's more of an intimidation eye contact standing close that an actual connection, the next one is that passive style. Now passive folks are a little different. They might be the person that's hunched over. They might be the person that's avoiding eye contact that's deferring to that other person constantly. It is a lot of trouble taking initiative and making choice. So the passes a communicator is usually someone that is really quiet, really held back, doesn't have a lot of opinions on things. Maybe you're a passive communicator and you're having a hard time thinking about how to introduce yourself or what you want. The next style is the passive aggressive communicator who this style if you work with someone like this, I am so sorry. If you are someone like this, you can fix this. Please fix this. So passive aggressive communicators are passive first, and then what's gonna end up happening is they get so resentful off their passive communication. The aggressive side slips out. So think of like a bottle of soda or Salter that you shaken up and you've got here and you open it just a little bit and it squirts out those air. Those little passive aggressive comments muttering under someone's breath, kind of getting irritated for no reason. Having those little side conversations that's passive aggressive. The final style is assertive now. Assertive is probably what you we should all strive to be. Assertive communicators use I statements, and not because their selfish because they claim their feelings, their emotions, their opinions there, really connecting to their words and their also generally good listeners. So in a sort of communicator might take initiative by starting a conversation. They also know when to take the back seat. No. Ah, lot of times you can see this style of communication in moments of silence. Moments of silence always happen in conversations. It is okay. Our brains can only digest so much information at once. So getting comfortable in silence is a good time to reflect on how things are going. If there's a moment of silence, think, is this comfortable? Should I insert a question? Should I just be quiet and comfortable in this moment now something when you're thinking about conversations, you want to take turns being the driver and the passenger. If you're an aggressive communicator, you're probably used to being the driver all the time. If you're a passive communicator, you want to be the passenger the entire time. And if you're a passive aggressive communicator, you are the passenger and want to be the driver. You want to make things move forward, but you can't or you don't. If you're assertive, you know, to take turns, you can't drive all the time and you can't be a passenger all the time. So sometimes you take the initiative and ask the question. And sometimes you just sit back and listen. Now, when you're really checking in with your style, think about how you can best use it. If you're an aggressive communicator, take some time to step back, take a breath and do some active listening, which is what we're gonna talk about next. If you're passive, really make one of your success goals toe. Ask a question if your passive aggressive just stop that, please and go on the line of a sort of make some of those I statements. The more you do it, the easier it gets a promise and remember you can't drive the whole way. You're gonna get tired and fall asleep at the wheel. See you next time, guys. 7. Active Listening: Hello. I'm done brown with the engaging educator. And welcome back to small Talk 101 We're going to start talking about active listening. Now, this is something that definitely will not be fixed. After this short lesson, it's something you're definitely gonna have to work on. So the first thing to remember is active Listening is a choice. We all hear things. I hear the noises on the street. I hear a car squeaking outside. You might have different buzzing, different computer sounds, any kind of noise that's going on with where you are. And the thing is, you make a choice to listen to that or not, and hearing you hear it all the time. If you have hearing on listening, you are actually digesting this information. You're tapping into it. You're thinking about it, you're maybe qualifying it. You're making a decision on it. You're maybe digging in a little deeper, Teoh. In order to really use active listening to our advantage in small talk, we have to think about what that looks like. So there are verbal and nonverbal ways to do active listening, Verbal. We have all done it. Is it? I'm also doing a nonverbal I'm nodding. Mm, This smile and nod. Now, adults for this reason are awful because adults will smile and not, and they'll think about dinner date or their email box. They won't actually be paying attention to what you're saying. So the smile and nod that verbal and nonverbal way is not often the best. So one of the ways a verbal way that you actually can show that you're paying attention and listening is you can ask a question. But before we get into those questions that we're talking about, the big thing to really do is show that you're listening, not just tell that you're listening. So when you showing you're listening, you're engaging yourself. You're engaging your body. You're engaging your verbal and non verbal because remember that 100% winning tip You really want to show people that you are listening to them. If you're asking a question, because if you asked a question and you don't listen to the answer, why ask the question? What's the point? Who cares? So again? Remember those areas of the brain that light up when people are talking about themselves and being listened to and you want to be associated with those good feelings. So now I'm thinking about those verbals and nonverbals. We're gonna go back to the questions. Questions are excellent way to show that you're listening and not just any questions. You really want to get questions that get more information, see how they feel about something and not a question that just comes in to insert yourself in a conversation. So maybe, if again, you're in a room like this and you see a bunch of plants, maybe a person's talking about the room and notices like, Wow, there's a lot of plants in here. And maybe the question is, Hey, delayed clearance or Haiti of planes at home? No, what that's doing is taking something out of what they just said in improv that's actually called a gift, these little bits of information that you can pick up take and used to further a conversation. So they mentioned the plants when talking about this room. So then you heard plants and will ask a question about plants. Now that's not the only way to show that you're actively listening is asking questions. You also can use my favorite improv phrase of Yes, and actually have it tattooed on my arm right here because I believe in it that strongly So what? Yes, young does is it affirms what the person says and it adds to it. So if someone says I really love plants, you might say, Yeah, you love plants, and I absolutely kill every plant that comes into my place. So you've taken what they're saying and you're adding some information to it now that might go back and forth for a little bit. A nice way to also show that you're listening is avoid the yes and just think it. You don't have to say that very contrived. Yes, when people are talking and you're repeating something that they just said and then adding information to it now, the big difference his here is you don't want to say the word, but what the but does is it elevates one opinion above another. So if you were to say, I love plants and you're saying you love plants but I killed them all like your but I killed them all is not more importance then that person loving plants, yet you just made it more important by that but so again the and is an equal sign. So by putting them together, you love plants and I kill everyone that comes into my house. How do you keep them alive? Huh? Look at that. You've got affirmation. You've added some information because you're showing that you're listening and then you're turning it back to them. So you took the driver roll and then became the passenger when you gave the gift back Teoh here. How to care for plants. Now, this may sound super clean drives like you're overthinking all these conversations. These air Definitely in the moment. Things to Dio. You just have to be paying attention again. You have to make that choice of I am actively listening to you. I'm making eye contact with you. I'm smiling. I'm asking questions. I'm nodding once in a while, not becoming a bobbing head dog. But you are actually paying attention. That's it for this time. We'll see you next time and have a great day. Remember, you always can ask questions 8. Leaving the Conversation: Hello and welcome back to small talk one on one. I'm done. Britain. Now what happens when you are in a conversation and you need to leave like this is not going well. This is not something you want to continue or it's going fine. And you just want to talk to other people or you legit have to leave. This is all about getting the out of those conversations. So when you notice the conversation is not going well, one of the best things you can do is think about a need. Why do you need to go and buy voicing this need in an assertive matter? I need to go to the bathroom. I need to get some food. I need to go talk to that person over there. This need often isn't challenged by saying, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You're making a statement that you're coming back without saying that you're coming back because you're not ending the conversation in a solid point by saying I need to go to the bathroom on then having that next moment of it was great talking to you. I hope to see you again. You're gracefully exiting and suggesting another time now. This can work in any situation. I promise. You just need to have a few needs in your back pocket. So right now, I want you to take a moment and brainstorm to exit lines that could work anywhere. Some examples of this again you need to go to the bathroom. You need to grab some food. You need to talk to your boss. You need to have a cup of coffee. You need to check your phone because the baby sitter Ah, or you need to check the puppy cam. Anything you have going on, make sure that need is very clear. And then when you're thinking about that graceful exit line by saying I need to x it was great tatting with you. Here's my card. It was great talking to you. Can I have your card now? This can also be used when you're in one of those situations where that person is just talking your ear off and you're like, I got to go. I don't want to be here anymore. How can leave us unless eyes tell my friends or to everyone else in the whole world? This is a great time to use one of those exit lines. Now you're not hurting that person's feelings. You're saying, Hey, I need to go to the bathroom or Hey, I need to go get some food This was really excellent talking. Can we set up some time to meet or call or have coffee next week? Now you might be in a conversation with a person that just wants to hear themselves talk. And they may Nate never contact you again. They might contact you again, and then you deal with that at that moment. But right now your goal is to get out of that conversation. So having the need and setting up another time even by saying this has been amazing, I really need to talk to a few other people tonight. Can we set up time to chat? Here's my card. Or can I have your card that gives you this incredibly graceful and adult way of leaving a conversation. Now I'm using my own words. I want you to really dig in on your discussion. She on what words work for you. Now if you have some questions. If those words are too aggressive or too passive or passive aggressive. Definitely comment. And let's talk about this. Exit lines can get people really nervous until they start using them are often. And if you think about it, that's probably where a lot of stress about networking and small talk comes in when you're stuck in a conversation and you can't get out so you don't want to do it again. So really, spend some time thinking about those exit lines and let me know if you have any questions. I would love to give you some help I buy. 9. Recap + What's Next: Hello and welcome back. You did it. We made it there. All of the small talk lessons. Now again, keep in mind this is not something that will be fixed today. This definitely is not something that you just do once. And you're a perfect small talker. This is something you're gonna have to spend some time on. So please definitely give yourself the time toe warm up. Pay attention to your voice and your body really tapped into that audience. What's your elevator pitch? How do you get into conversations? What are some topics that you want to talk about? What about active listening? Are you? Yes, Sandy. Are you paying attention? Are you going done? I am. I am. Or are you really taking that moment to figure out what you need in that conversation? Now, please share all your projects and conversations below, and I will definitely review and reply. I really want this to be a discussion group with us. So that being said, thank you so much. And good luck. Small talking