Sales Training: How to Get Anyone to Like You by Building Rapport | Patrick Dang | Skillshare

Sales Training: How to Get Anyone to Like You by Building Rapport

Patrick Dang, International Sales Trainer

Sales Training: How to Get Anyone to Like You by Building Rapport

Patrick Dang, International Sales Trainer

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4 Lessons (22m)
    • 1. Intro to Building Rapport

    • 2. Elements of Communication

    • 3. Mirroring and Matching

    • 4. Instant Rapport

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About This Class

In this course, you'll learn the most effective sales strategies to build rapport with anyone you meet in the business world as well as in your personal life.

Meet Your Teacher

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Patrick Dang

International Sales Trainer


Hey, it's Patrick here!

Now, I’m on a mission to help everyday people to generate more sales for their business using the most cutting-edge B2B sales strategies.

After a successful sales career in Silicon Valley, I packed two suitcases and booked a one-way ticket to Thailand and started my journey with the aspiration of creating world-class online B2B sales training all while living a digital nomadic lifestyle.

And since then, I’ve traveled to many countries while creating programs training over +30,000 students in over 150 countries.

And over time, it became clear that no matter what country you’re from, what your background is, or whether or not you think you have the talent to sell...I’ve found that sales is a skill anyone can learn... See full profile

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1. Intro to Building Rapport: Hey, everybody, what is going on? So in this section, we're going to give you an introduction on what it means to build rapport with somebody like we learned about in the other section. Ah, lot of people make the common mistake of being too much of a technical cellar. You know, they focus on all the technical aspects of their product or service or their focus too much on the techniques of trying to get a sale that they don't really bond and make a connection a human connection with who they're talking to. And because they're not able to sell emotionally, they just come off as very unrelated ble. An example of that would be when you're at a used car dealership, right? So I used car dealerships. Typically, they're not necessarily trained in the emotional selling. And so what happens is they're focused on short term high pressure techniques to get you the bias quick as possible. So if you were walking to use car dealership, what happens is you go into the car dealership and you say what you're looking for, and basically what's gonna happen is the car dealer is just going to try to use every trick in the book to get you to buy a car. And the reason why sales sometimes has a bad rap is because salespeople like used car salesman's or sales people that come in contact with regular people on the day to day basis . They used these high pressure techniques that few very slimy and sleazy, and when someone is pressured to buying something, they don't necessarily feel good about it afterwards. And so that's exactly what we don't want to do. Instead, what we want to do is focus on building a human connection so that once you build that connection, the rial selling process can actually start. And with that, the thing you have to realize is people buy emotionally and justify their decisions logically. And so what do I mean by this? Well, if you could look at the iPhone every year, a new iPhone comes out, you know, from 1st 2nd 3rd 4th now 68 and now iPhone 10. And for the most part, the iPhone has been very similar throughout the years and has been very gradual with its improvements. However, there are a lot of people who have the money to purchase iPhone every single year. And that's because Apple, from a marketing and sales perspective, emotionally got them to want to buy a new iPhone and want to upgrade, even though they don't actually need it. And so when they actually make that purchase that someone ever asked him Oh, why did you buy the new iPhone? Your iPhone A or iPhone six is just fine. And they're going to say, Oh, well, it has his new future with the front facing camera or, you know, it has a really small vessels or whatever the case may be. So this is a really good example of people buying something emotionally, buying something they don't necessarily need right, And they justify their decisions logically. And so, for the way we're gonna sell is we're going to make a human connection and get people emotionally involved. And then afterwards, they're going to justify why they bought that logically, just like Apple does from a consumer level. So what exactly is report? And for US Report is gonna mean building a human connection with someone and making them feel comfortable. Very simple, because the more comfortable you make someone, the more willing they are to trust you and the more willing they are to buy from you. And so there's gonna be three universal rules for building report. So the first rule is you must feel comfortable with yourself and with other people, because if you're not comfortable with yourself, people are going to feel that, and they're not gonna be as trusting to want to buy something from you. Number two, they must feel comfortable with you. Not only do you have to be comfortable, they're gonna have to be comfortable as well. And finally, number three, because both sides are comfortable selling improves. And so there's this synergy between two sides. When two people they make that connection, they bond. There are a lot more likely to do business with each other. And the reason is because people like to do business with people have, like that's just plain truth. Even as a seller, you only want to do business with people you like as well, because you don't want to do with people who are, you know, pain in the butts. So building the report, it's super important because it's how you start a relationship with somebody and how that start begins, is going to affect the entire sale cycle with the process. If you're not able to build report with somebody, then it's highly unlikely you're actually going to get the sale and the thing when it comes to building report. It's all about reading their body language and reading their visual cues and atonality cues . And, you know, for the most part, when you're building report, it's not necessarily what you say. It's how you say it. I'll give you an example of this. Remember when you were younger and let's say your mom's in the kitchen? She's doing something. You're out in the living room just playing. And if she yells, Patrick, you already know that you're in trouble, right? Or it's like something negative. It's not like but if she said Patrick, it's a lot different, right? And so that's the same exact word. Just saying somebody's name. You could totally mean that Patrick, you're dead. You're in trouble. Or Patrick Hey, come over here. So you're tonality And how you say things in your body line, which really speaks a lot. Another example is the words. I love you, right? So if I were to say something like this. I love you. It doesn't seem authentic. It doesn't seem really seems like I'm lying when I'm saying I love you right? But if I said I love you, it's a lot different, right? Same exact words. It's just the differences in how you say them and how your body language looks that will determine whether or not someone is able to make a human connection with you. So remember that it's not about what you say. It's about how you say them. So now that we got a better understanding of what it means to build report, we're gonna move deep into all the elements of what it means the bill report so that you're aware of them and you can instantly build a human connection with anybody you meet. 2. Elements of Communication: what's going on, guys? So never gonna move into the elements of communication. Now there was a study done out of university where they want to figure out. Based on the first impression was the key elements you need to pay attention to, to get somebody to like you. And so what they found was that 55% of whether or not someone likes you based on the first impression comes from your body language. 38% comes from your tonality, and 7% actually comes from the words you say. So this is really important, because if you think about it, 93% of this pie chart comes from things that aren't actually the word you're saying. But how you're saying it. And so this is why I stress this over and over again. It's not what you say, but how you say it. And that's why I want to push you away from focusing on techniques and more focused on the mindset and the style, how you're able to be your character out of everyday basis. So let's go ahead and start with body language. The physiology. What exactly does that mean? So I'll give you an example of bad volume in which that makes people not attracted to you. So let's say you're making cold calls and you're hunched up and this is how a lot of people , Mayko, cause when I used to work at Orgel, this is literally the attitude that they had. They would hunch up and, like, you know, they would be in this little ball like very protective of themselves. And then they were just like, hold the phone. You know, they'll say something like, Hey, how's he going on? It's Patrick from or coal. I just want to see if it makes sense and then, boom, they just get hang up on right? So that's an example of bad language where you're you're physically not in a good space, and it's going to affect how you say things now on opposite Example of that is if you have good body language. So let's say you're sitting up straight, you know, shoulders back. Your spine is looking good, and like you're just feeling confident in yourself and you know you're looking good. Your dress get and everything, so you go on the phone and your ring ring ring. Hey, How's it going? This is Patch er from Oracle. I'm looking for the person who handles marketing. So with the, you know, comparing to two different examples, one example is very reserved and the very weak body language and not very confident themselves. The other side is very confident and, you know, literally by standing up or putting your shoulders back, or like making sure your back you straight. Those are the things I'm gonna affect the things you say and people can't feel your confidence and fuel your energy. And so that's why 55% of whether or not someone like you, based on the first impression, is based on how you look, how you dress, how you carry yourself, and these things actually do matter in a selling situation. Now, tone ality is the second thing we are going to look at, and tonality is broken out into three different elements. It's gonna be your pitch, your pace and your volume. Your pitch is how high or low your voice goes. So, for example, if you're talking like this, is this really acceptable? Probably not. If you talk very high, people are gonna wonder why is he talking so high. It's kind of strange. Or if you're talking too low, sometimes that may put people off. If it's a little too low, your pace is the speed at which you go. So I could be talking like this and everybody will know what I'm talking about. Involve above the law, right? And if I speak like that, a lot of you guys would be like, Wow, he's talking too quickly. I don't understand what he's saying. He's different from me. He's weird. I'm not comfortable. But, um, or if you're talking to slow like this, I just want to If I'm talking like that, people are gonna be like, Why is he talking so slow? He's wasting my time. So you have to find the right pace at which you want to speak. And finally, when it comes to volume, if you're talking too loud, people get turned off. But if you're talking too softly, people will think it's weird. So these are all things you have to look at pitched pace and volume when you're thinking about your tonality and you just want to make sure it fits. The person you're speaking with now going into the wards that you actually say again, there's not so much emphasis on the actual words, but here's what I'm going to share with you. There's three types of people in terms of how they receive communication. It's a visual person, an audio person in a kinesthetic person. A visual person is somebody that likes to take in information. Visually, this is where graphs and diagrams makes sense. But even from the words you say using words like, I see the vision or I see your vision or I see what you're saying, do you picture this? So they're gonna be a lot more receptive to vocabulary that because it fits their way of communication. The thing to know about visual people is they typically speak very fast because in their minds they see a lot of pictures, and the rewards are trying to match what they see. So when you're talking to a visual person, sometimes you want to speak faster and you want to use bigger demonstrations that visualize the next one is audio learners and audio learners know they speak more slowly because they're careful about the words that they're saying and using vocabulary like I hear you or , you know, that sounds like a good idea. There are a lot more open to receiving communication when you're resonating with them from a vocabulary perspective, and you're speaking more slowly and they could hear every single word. And lastly, it's going to be the can ecstatic type of person. And this is someone that speaks from the heart and they speak emotionally, and it's all about how they feel and how they make the other person feel. So using vocabulary like I feel you, I understand what you're saying. I empathize with that situation, so they're going to be a lot more receptive to vocabulary like that. So visual, audio, kinesthetic. Those are the three elements of communication that people like to receive in. And for the most part, everybody does, taking information in all the three different ways. Most people have one preferred method that they prefer over another. And so if you are able to spot that and able to capitalize on that, you're gonna be able to connect with someone a lot better and build that report. And so why are all of these elements important? And the reason is because you know it's not just important to understand them so you can control them. But what you want to do as a sales person or someone who is selling a product or service is figure out what the other person's preferences are and start to become more like them. And so in the next section, I'm gonna show you exactly what I mean. 3. Mirroring and Matching: So now we're gonna move into some of the more advanced techniques, and the 1st 1 I'm gonna introduce to you guys is mirroring and matching. So what this is all about is people feel comfortable with other people who act and look like themselves. So what do I mean by this? So in the last section, we learned about body language, tonality and the words that you actually say. And so what you want to do is you want if you want to increase your chance of being successful in sales is start matching. All these physiology is tonalities and the actual words. And by doing that, what it's gonna do is it's going to subconsciously make them feel comfortable because no matter how much people say, they love diversity and they love different things. The core sense of being a human is being comfortable or liking. Things are very similar to you, and that's just a natural thing. And so the more you're able to portray yourself in a way that is similar to them, the more they're going to trust you, and the more they're gonna like you and the better shot you have to actually making that sale. And of course, this all takes place in somebody's subconscious, so they're not going to be able to see it. These air, all invisible influences. But if you master now, I promise you it's gonna be incredibly powerful, because I have done this thousands of times and it definitely doesn't work. And so let's go ahead and go through an example if you OK, so let's say you go into it office and you know you're having a meeting a business meeting with somebody you mean them for the first time. You know the first moment when you see them, the natural thing to do is to shake their hand. And so, from a body language perspective, if your hand is very limp, they're kind of feel that, and they're going to think in their heads some consciously who that's a little bit of a weird handshake. Or on the flip side, if your handshake is a little too firm, then they're in the V a little off put and think in their heads. Why is this guy's handshake so firm? And so when you're like I'm using this as an example? But when you're shaking somebody's hand, What you want to do is you want to feel the pressure that they put onto it and match it, and they're gonna think subconsciously in their head this guy is like me. I trust him. Let's go ahead and just keep moving forward with this example so I can give you mawr demonstrations. So you know exactly what I'm talking about. So what people are naturally do when someone visits their offices, offer them something. So if a potential customer says, Hey, Patrick, would you like some coffee? The foolish thing to do. Which would be sure. I would love some coffee. I love it black. And you could put sugar in it and blah blah, blah, blah. That would be off putting because what if they don't have coffee? So there's like, a little bit of a disconnect. So when somebody asks you, would you like coffee or would you like water? The first thing you say back is Are you gonna have coffee? And by doing that, whether they say yes or no, you're gonna do exactly what they do. So if this person wants coffee to, you're gonna get coffee. But if they say no, I'm fine. Then you're gonna be say OK, I'm OK as well. So this is just some examples of mirroring matching your You're subconsciously building that report because it's not necessarily what you're saying. It's about being similar to them or making them feel comfortable in their environment. And so when they sit in their chair, if they slouch, you're gonna sit in your chair, you're gonna snatch a little bit, and they're talking with a slower pace. You want to slow your pace down, or if they're talking with a lower tone ality, you want to lower your tonality as well. So what you're doing is every step of the way. As you're noticing, you're copying their physiology, their tone ality, and then eventually the words that they're actually saying. And by doing this, you're building a connection with somebody, So a lot of sales people, they make the mistake of thinking that building report means, you know, you both have to like football or you're both have to like sports or basketball, or are, or whatever the case is. A lot of times, if you're actually a good salesperson, you actually don't need toe have anything in common with somebody. What you do need to do is mimic their body language, tonality and their words. And no matter who you talk to, you're gonna be able to connect with them even if they're culturally different or they come from a totally different world. These are things that you can control, and this is how you're gonna build that report and the whole time this is going on, basically, a person is thinking in their heads subconsciously, do I like this person? Do they make me feel comfortable? Is this person like me? And so that's the lesson that I'm trying to give to you guys is be like them and they're going to love you. So when it comes to marrying, matching, a lot of people have this fear that they're gonna be found out that ah person might realize that they're being copied. So in trust me, when I first started learning about nearing and matching and executing in my everyday life to the point I am at now, after maybe hundreds of thousands of times, nobody has ever called me out, and I don't think anybody has caught me doing it. And the reason is because it's just something that people aren't able to pick up unless they're traditionally trained in sales in this a very specific way. So when you're mirroring and matching in their heads there, just thinking, Oh, this guy's just like me and they're just gonna let that trust bridge grow and you're just gonna walk it And so do not worry about whether or not someone will catch you mirroring and matching them. They just never will. And the other concern that a lot of people have when they're learning this technique is if I'm mimicking someone's physiology, that tonality and the words am I being fake right? And that's a really big concern for a lot of people. The way I look at it, it's not necessary being fake. All you're really doing is a technique to build report. So if you were to look inside your heart and you look at what you want to do it, sometimes it's you get the sale so that you could do X y Z. And to get there, it's just another technique in your toolbox that you can use. So in my opinion, the way I look at it is sales is all about putting your best foot, Ford. You know, if you're totally authentically yourself, ah, 100% of the time, then don't expect to get sales because you're not doing the right things to make people feel comfortable. But if your profession is sales and it is a profession than these are things you have to do to put your best foot forward and get people to like you so that you can actually move forward in your career or your business. So that's everything we have to cover with mirroring and matching. And in the next lesson, we're gonna learn about how you can build instant report with anybody. 4. Instant Rapport: Okay, people. So now we're gonna get into another powerful technique, which is instant report. Once you get comfortable with all the aspects of what it means to build report of, like getting down their tonality, getting down your body language, the words you say, mirroring and matching what you're gonna be able to do is built instant report. And what that means is your building a human connection with somebody. And you're getting this person toe like you within the moment you meet them. So basically the 1st 5 seconds, and so you might be wondering, how is it possible? Because if you're not really saying anything into them or you don't know what you guys have in common, how is it possible to make somebody like you the moment that you meet them? And so I'm gonna give you an example. When I was traveling so not too long ago, you know, I was traveling around the world and I spent about four months in living in Thailand. Now I'm not Thai, I'm Asian, but I have nothing. I'm not related to Thai culture at all, and I don't speak the language on the nor do I really look like a type person so culturally and there was a language barrier, and there's a cultural barrier for me being a foreigner from America, living in Thailand. But after the months went by and I start to pick up there, you know some of the words and their tonality of how they say things and how they say hi to each other. And you know how they put their hands together or like how they nod and say So Let the cop So which means high anti. So, you know, learning all these basically the tone alley and bawling language. This is what essentially happened by the end of my four months, you know, when I would go to something like 7 11 and try to buy something. A lot of people would actually talk to me in Thai like I was a type person, and even though I didn't dress like a type person the way I said hi to them and tie and the way I have my body language and that the way I nodded my head, similar to how Thai people, not their head people automatically assumed I was tied and they accepted me from a cultural standpoint, and this is really powerful because a lot of my friends who were foreigners as well they were having a little really difficult time assimilating in the culture. And they were always seen, as you know, foreigners, which sometimes has a bad reputation in Thailand. So by me being able to understand the tonality and bawling average of it, I was able to be accepted. And I was able to build report instantly with a lot of people who were tie who are not necessarily the most friendly to foreigners. And so when we carry that lesson into sales, what's really going on here is within the first moment when you're meeting someone, you have the opportunity to make a first impression, and the first impression is based on how you carry yourself in your tone ality. So when you are confident in yourself and you shake someone's hand and your mirror and you're matching them and you look them in the eye and you smile, these are all elements are put together, and it's able to build this incident report and your able to get this person to instantly right away like you. From the moment they meet you, even though they know nothing about you. And sometimes when people try to explain what that thing is, a certain energy or certain or a or a certain vibe that somebody gives off that it's a positive and Hersey right. By going through the building report section of this lesson, you've learned that it's really tone ality and body language. That's the majority of it, and thes air things that you can absolutely control. And with the Miriam matching technique, if you're able to mimic the way people move in the way they sound the moment you meet them , then you're being you're gonna be able to instantly build that report and build that business relationship and start the sales psycho from a positive perspective. So instant report. Guys, when you're meeting someone for the first time, I have that go in mind. Try to build that initial connection and move the deal forward. And so as we move onto the next lessons, remember that when it comes to building report, you're doing it throughout the entire so cycle. So it's not like you build reporting beginning, and you don't have to care about those things at all anymore. You're doing it each way, each step of the process. But just know that building report is the first step and you have to continue to do it. And with that, this concludes the end of the building report section, and we're gonna move on to the next part in the sales cycle.