SOCIAL SKILLS: How To Make A Great First Impresion | Alain W. | Skillshare

SOCIAL SKILLS: How To Make A Great First Impresion

Alain W.

Play Speed
  • 0.5x
  • 1x (Normal)
  • 1.25x
  • 1.5x
  • 2x
26 Lessons (1h 53m)
    • 1. Promo video

      2:35
    • 2. Psychology of APPROACHING (1/2)

      5:22
    • 3. Psychology of APPROACHING (2/2)

      5:25
    • 4. The Power Of the DIRECT APPROACH – How To Give COMPLIMENTS

      5:30
    • 5. The Power Of the DIRECT APPROACH – How To INTRODUCE YOURSELF

      2:19
    • 6. The Power Of the INDIRECT APPROACH - How to APPROACH INDIRECTLY

      3:50
    • 7. My 4 Best techniques To REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE PERSON YOU MET

      3:32
    • 8. Why it is Important to NEVER BRAG

      2:32
    • 9. Psychology of FEAR OF APPROACHING

      4:32
    • 10. Decrease Your FEAR OF APPROACHING: Technique 1

      2:47
    • 11. Decrease Your FEAR OF APPROACHING: Technique 2

      3:55
    • 12. The Power Of BREATHING To Make A Good First Impression

      2:37
    • 13. Be CHARISMATIC: How to Be 100% PRESENT in Social Interactions

      6:26
    • 14. Secret Method To Boost Your CONFIDENCE Before Entering A New Social Place

      3:28
    • 15. How to Be The Most INTERESTING Person in The Room

      3:20
    • 16. The Perfect MINDSET About APPROACHING New People

      11:05
    • 17. How to Use the Power of Your EYE CONTACT

      6:19
    • 18. How to Use the Power of Your SMILE

      6:00
    • 19. The Power of Your BODY LANGUAGE: Handshake, Your Posture & More

      5:22
    • 20. The Power of The DISTANCE Between You & The Other Person

      2:01
    • 21. How to CONNECT With ANYONE Instantly

      5:27
    • 22. The Amazing Power of SOCIAL PROOF

      2:36
    • 23. CONVERSATION: Stand Out! Statements not Questions

      5:57
    • 24. How To Change TOPICS Without Being RUDE

      1:46
    • 25. People Will Love You! How To Talk About Them!

      2:11
    • 26. Psychology of VISUALIZATION + SOCIAL REFERENCES With VISUALIZATION

      5:41

About This Class

When you meet someone new, studies have shown that the other person will judge you and make decisions about you in the first 7 seconds! To make sure that you will be well remembered, you will learn the art of making an outstanding first impression consistently.

Learn To Make A Good First Impression With Everyone Consistently

  • Learn to make a good first impression
  • Learn social skills secrets to be liked
  • Learn to be the most memorable person in the room
  • Learn how to master the first 7 seconds
  • Become socially successful

This Course Reveals Social Skills Secrets That Few People Know!

You don't have a second chance to make a good first impression that's why it is important to know exactly how to make a good first impression consistently.

Content & overview

You will learn exactly what to say & what to do when you approach someone new so this person will say that you are the most interesting person he met that day. You will learn the most effective ways to approach people, what to say & what to do so they will like you consistently.

You will learn the charismatic way of approaching anyone, how to remember the names of the people you meet, how to remove the fear of approaching someone so you can be friendly & socially attractive, how to be confident & hide your stress gesture when meeting someone new, how to attract people like a magnet with your eye contact & smile, how to have an interesting conversation with everyone and know exactly what to say, how to never have the awkward moment of not knowing what to say..and so much more!

Transcripts

1. Promo video: So my name is Alan Move, and I am a social skids coach that is not traveling the world and teaching people how they can improve their social kids. I have more than 15 years of experience. There is a quote that says that you don't have a second chance to make a first impression. And first impressions last, we know it. So in discourse, I will cover all the things that you need to know to make an amazing first impression everywhere. Have you ever been in a social situation where the first seconds or even minutes, where really full court, we have all been there. But now that's over. Because we see this course, you will learn exactly how to make an amazing first impression everywhere with everyone. It is. Course I will teach you everything you need to know so that you will make an amazing first impression. Imagine how your life will improve. If you could make an amazing impression at work with your family with new people you meet at the supermarket or in any social situation, how would your life improve if you had, this kid in this course will go over all the basics I would share, or the tool strategies and everything I know about making a great impression. So with this course, I really want to help you toe make an amazing first impression. And you have nothing to lose. Because if you try this course and then you don't really like it, then you can ask for we found. So the only thing you can gain is social skills. It's social skills to make him better. First impression. So if you literally have nothing to lose, you can also see just here you can see you can click on free preview and you can see lectures, free lectures in this course so that you can see the amount of value that there is in this course. So that's it. That's the time to take. You're make a first impression from here to here. See you on the other side. 2. Psychology of APPROACHING (1/2): the psychology off approaching is something that is really interesting. You have person A and you have person be the person a wants to approach person B. But it's not as easy because it can be difficult because you don't know who this person is . Maybe this person will hurt you. Maybe someone around we see that you approached this person is dangerous and this other person can kill you. You can say Yeah, but no one will kill me nowadays. Yes, but the thing with psychology off approaching it started many years ago, many 1000 years ago when we were in the tribe and we still have destroyed instincts, which is, if you approach someone, then I get rejected. Maybe I will die because then they will kick me out of the tribe. So this is why we have this fee or for approaching someone we have this. Do you think that we don't know if it's safe to approach someone else because it can be Denver's, and most of the time, we don't want to approach this person because we don't want to take the risk. That's something bad happens. So then we don't approach. So there's something that you should address have in mind is that it's normal to be afraid . It's normal to be afraid. But there are things that you can do so that you can increase your senses off approaching someone and make an amazing first impression to make a really good first impression. You must be focused on feeling good. But then you would say, You know what, Alan here, but it's what you see. Do you know that it's only 7%? The communication between human beings is only 7% verbal and 93% non verbal. So you could have almost nothing to say if you have the 93% which is your nonverbal communication, which is the sound of your voice. They all your eye contact. You smile your vibe, the energy that you are trending with someone. If you have the 93% it will at way to the 7%. Yes, I will teach you the 7%. But I just want to give you this key here. Is that when you want to approach someone instead of saying Okay, what do I see? What do I say? Ask you, said Specialty. How can I feel good and then to feel good, you just have to to feel good emotions in your body. You can remember something to really great that happened to you. You can remember for example, last time you went on vacation and you love it. You just have to. I feel these good emotions here, and then you can approach someone. You would see that when you approach someone and you have good emotions, it's way more impactful impactful than saying, OK, what do I say? What do I say? That you are all stress and you have negative energy in your body. So focus on feeling good when you approach someone and do something that sister exercise you can do is that right? Now focus on feeling good. Focus on having good emotions in your body. So for the first I know for the five seconds for the next five second, just focus on feeling good. I feel really good right now, and it's a really great stepped off mind toe approach. Someone because you feel good. He must be conscious that it starts before approaching. When you want to approach someone, Most people think that's it starts when you approach someone, but actually not. It started before approaching. Why? Because your mindset will have an impact the way you feel as we discussed before. But also if people see you doing things that are weird off people, if people see you doing things that make you low value, for example, let's say that you are networking event or you are somewhere in a social situation and you want to approach someone. And then this person, for example, ways that you and then what you do is that you just look at them awkwardly and do nothing because you are afraid. Or, for example, let's say that dispersant just smiles at you or even this person just looks at you. And then you are your old stress like that. You haven't even approached someone. But the first impression that they have that this person has is that you are someone that is low, confident, low value, and you must be conscious that when you enter social environment, you should be feeling good having fun. And also you should be confident and be aware of that that when you enter a social situation, people around you will be looking at you and the first impression that they will get is when you are in the social situation. It's also when you approach them. But there is also that you have this 1st 1st impressions like when you enter a room or when you're in a social situation. So that's really important to consider that. Let's take an example, you go to a bar and, for example, let's say that I want to put forget and that enter the bar. I'm old stressed. Then a girl looks at me, and then I looked down and look all stressed. I haven't even approached, but the girl says, Oh, this guy's a loser He is not confident. So be aware of that, that it can be a networking event. The job interview. So most people think that it starts in the room, know it started when they interview ever comes a t interest and say, Hey, you can you can come in. It starts there. It doesn't start. When the areas the interview ever says Okay, what makes it what makes you a great candidate? So be aware of that. It starts really, really something that you should really keep in mind 3. Psychology of APPROACHING (2/2): to approach someone the first key that you must be congruent with your states and with the things that you want to say. Let's say that, for example, you want to approach someone and you want to say, even for example, to give a compliment. But you don't feel like it. Let's say that you want to give a compliment with high energy. Say, Hey, you are awesome. Oh, hey, I really like your job. Let's say that you learned that or you read that on the Internet and you want to approach someone like that, but you don't feel like it. Let's say that you feel nervous and you don't really want to give a compliment toe. The key to a great approach is that you must. It must be congruent with how you feel, who you are and what you want to say. So this is really important is that later I will give you keys. I would share with your tools and things you can say, but it must be congruent with your state because that is what will make a new approach. Work is the fact that it's congruent with who you are. So again, if you go and you approach someone with something, for example. Hey, how is the weather today? And you really don't want to say that it will come across that way as as weird. Why? Because the communications 93% and the words only 7%. So the words are there like it's it's not too bad. But then the 93% are terrible. So you must be congruent with that. So this is the first keep. When you approach someone, you must really be aware off your state off what you want to say and what you want to do and then just go with the flow. Okay, I will give you things to say. But it has to be congruent with the fact with the way you approach now. Okay, Alan, you want to give me ways to approach, But then you say that it is in the moment. Okay, what do you do? My suggestion is like select two or three rays off approaching someone and then go for it. These are you. They vote openers and we see later how you can approach someone exactly what you can say. But I just want here to give you the idea that you must select two or three ways that I can rent with who you are and use them. For example, one way that I used that If I have nothing to say, I mean the really low energy and everything. It's pissing me off and I really don't want to approach and I had and 1/2 and I have to approach her say, Hey, my name is Alan because I know that I can be re high energy. I can be depressed and say Hey, my name is Alan and I know that it would work. So we see later. The open is that you can use, but just focus on that. Find the one that really resonate with you on that you can use, even like if you're in a bad mood or in a great mood. So it's really once that resonate with you. Starting any direction with someone is not the most important thing people think on you. No matter. I have to approach this person disease. The most important thing, the thing that they focused on. Okay, what am I going to see in the 1st 10 seconds? How am I going to approach someone? But why are you focusing on the only first seconds off the interaction? Not focusing on the whole interaction because I consider that approaching someone, it's like starting the car. You are in your car. Okay. In the morning. Let's say that you wake up and then you have to go to work. So you go in your car, then you put the keen and then you turn on the car and then you drive. Approaching someone is just putting the key in and turning the car and turned turning the car, turning on the car. That's what it is. Then you have to drive. But driving is then how they're going to lead the conversation. And then it's how your eye contact everything. But approaching someone is just starting the car. You just go and say hi. Hey, my name is that or your approach someone in a way that you will see later. It just you just approaching just starting the car. You're not like Oh my God. I have to start the car this morning. Have to start the car this morning. No, you just go and you do it that the same thing with approaching you go. You approach someone with one or two sentences and then that's it. The guys on and then you have to drive the car. But we see later how we can do that now. Just a few words about the psychology of approaching. I just want to share with you this kid. That is the main key for me. It's not the words that you say that are important. What is important is that you are the ones saying the words. You are the ones saying that Let's say that for example, I go in our approach someone and say, Hey, my name is Alan. I really wanted to meet you. It's not the word that I'm saying, but it's the fact that I am going to approach them. That is the fact that it is who I am that is going to matter. Not really the words, because remember, 7% so really in this section here. I wanted to show you that 93% of words it's really important toe approach someone and be congruent with the way you approach someone and focus on feeling good and you know that dress by you being yourself and approaching with an authentic style, it will work way better done learning lines and applying it. And if it's not congruent, you see here already the difference that that you have between approaching and being authentic and saying the things that you want to say and at our good in a situation and the opposite, which is like preparing everything, focusing on what to say, enough focusing on feeling good and then going for that. You see one will be robotic and while one will be charismatic so that it's this is the first sections about the psychology of approaching. Now let's jump into the section, OK, how can we approach someone? 4. The Power Of the DIRECT APPROACH – How To Give COMPLIMENTS: Now let's discuss the direct approach and I would like to discuss the compliments. My father, it's way off. Approaching someone is to give compliments. Why? Because people love compliments. Imagine, Remember, the last time that someone gives you a compliment? How What is your feeling inside your body? I'm sure you felt really, really great. So this is the goal here is that you want to give a compliment to someone. But be careful because if I approached someone and say, Hey, you decree friendly And I don't think that this person looks friendly or I don't really think that the compliment is genuine, it won't work. So the basic the base for a great compliment is it has to be genuine. So you must want to save. That's the base. So it's for example, you approach someone and you want to read. You don't really know how to approach the money and say, Hey, this person has a great outfit or hey, this person looks interesting or hey, Dispersant gave a great conference or hey, this person that you can approach this person. Hey, I really liked the way you relight your conference. Hey, I really liked I really like your outfit today. Hey, you seem like a friendly person. What's your name? By approaching and giving a compliment, you will always start on the rights foods if it's genuine. So it has to be generous and you'll see that if it's completely an expression off your cell phone, you give this compliment. It will work like a charm and you will see that people we hook instantly. So it has to come from a place where it's genuine. And you want to say that because everyone loves compliments. Now the compliments. You can compliment someone on his looks, on his personality and on what happened in the air violence before. So let's say for them on his on the on the looks, you can say, Hey, I really like your outfit. Hey, I really like other suits you are wearing. Hey, I really like the corner. Hey, I really like this shirt. Hey, I really like how you match the cars. Hey, I really like it's really easy, but it has to be generally here. Just want toe open up your mind on the kind of compliments that you can give So on their looks, this is great. So if you go and you approach someone on that, that's really great. And that's not rude. People think that Oh my God, I shouldn't show too much interest. It's not about showing interest about being a human being and interacting with someone else . You want to compliment someone, go and compliment someone I'm not telling you. Compliment everyone and be a manipulation freak. No, you just go. And you approach someone and you give a compliment because you want to give a compliment and you'll see that if you have these mindset, you will be socially successful and you really, really, really create have great results. Now, the single way you can approach them on and give the complimented about the personality and it is something it is. My favorite way, actually is because it's the one that works. The best for me is you approach someone. Hey, you look really friendly. I just wanted to say hi. Hi. You look really open minded. Hey, you look really adventurous because you can see by just looking at someone how this person is. If you see that this person looks really friendly, you can go and tell her that Hey, you look really friendly. I just wanted to say hi. And this is why I really like it. Is that if you say if you say that to someone hey, you look really friendly. I wanted to say hi. Then the person has toe act as friendly because you frame it that way. So this is what really powerful Because then if you say, hey, you look really nice, O r sorry. Hey, you're seem really friendly and then the presidency. Now fuck off. The person wants say that the person will say Oh, thank you. And then we'll act as someone that is friendly. So this is something that you can do. You can frame the conversation that way. So these their property that you can do now the third part is about talking about the environment so you can compliment someone on. For example, if this person gave a conference before or you can compliment someone on the drug dispersed . Indeed, on what happened before I think about the interaction, you have the looks off off someone, you have the personality and then you have the environment. So these are the three things that you can use to give a compliment. So just to approach someone, you could say, hey, and then you say the compliments and then you can introduce yourself. Hey, my name is Alan. Okay, So did he is a great way you can approach someone now. I would like just to give you a quick exit site. Imagine that's you are somewhere. Imagine in your mind that you are somewhere and that you see people you like to approach. Imagine what they are wearing, where they are, the environment, the state off mind there are in. Imagine that. And then ask yourself this question. Okay. How could you approach them? And how could I compliment them and do that? Now, I would say Take two or three minutes and dressed. Think about three people that you like to approach in a cent on environment and think about the compliment that you could give them. Just do that and you will see that your brain will start focusing on genuine compliments. And first, it can be difficult if you're not used to give this kind off compliments to strangers. But after a while, your mind will be comfortable to do that. So it is a really great exercise that you could do right now. 5. The Power Of the DIRECT APPROACH – How To INTRODUCE YOURSELF: Now, the second part off the direct opener is really simple that you can introduce yourself. So if you go and introduce yourself Hey, my name is Alan. Your first reflects is to say, Hey, my name is Mark is to answer the question. So this is really great because it's a default opener. Remember? Just before I told you that if you are in a low state or in a high state, or if you are really happy or sad, you can use it. It's not like something that has to be congruent with your state of mind. It dressed like, Hey, my name is Alan. How are you or Hey, my name's Alan. What's your name? So there's something that works really, really well, so it's really great because the person will introduce himself and it's something that works really well. So it should be one off you. Therefore opener how you do that? You do that with a confident voice. Hey, my name is Alan, and then you shake hands, Remember? The hand is not, uh it has to be fear. Okay? How I do how how shake hands is that I opened just a little bit Hey, my name is Allah and then I take the hand and then I just put it like that. So I put the in here. Hey, how how you And then I just turn a little bit like that. You see, it's straight here. I don't go like that because people do that. But it's more like you want to be dominance. And I don't want to do that with people because you don't want right away to start a. And, um, I'm the most dominant here. Say, Hey, I'm just open. And then when the person takes my hand here, I just put it like that, Okay, he's the best thing. So your handshake has to be from house to be assertive, But don't try to be an asshole and try toe really crash the other person hand or something that you would see that this is the default open ality of year is really great. So now the section we saw, the compliments that it has to be journaling and it works like a charm. You can compliment someone on his looks on the personality and also on the environment. So what happened before? We also saw that you can introduce yourself and it revolt. It will work like a trump. Now let's go to the next section, which is how you can approach someone but in the indirect way. 6. The Power Of the INDIRECT APPROACH - How to APPROACH INDIRECTLY: approaching someone. The India it way is something that works really great. Also the idea behind that that you should just approach them on and ask a basic question or on opinion. Remember, approaching someone is about starting the car. So just about initiating this first interaction, it's not really important, because if you ask most people OK, do you remember how someone approached you 99% of the time? They would say, I don't remember. I just remember that we had a great conversation. So do something that is important to remember. It doesn't really matter what you say. Just the fact that you are the one saying it. That is really important. So you can ask. You can approach someone and ask a basic question. You can say, Ah, you can ask the question even if you already know the answer. Let's say that for example, I goto about and I cannot for someone say, Hey, do you know when this bar closes? Hey, do you know Ah, when this ah bar gets full? It's about just asking a simple question. Hey, do you know what would be the weather like tomorrow? Hey, do you know it's going to rain tomorrow. Hey, do you know I can find his book? Hey, do you know when the conference starts? Hey, do you know Wednesday and your sparking? Hey, Juno, Just asking a question. And it doesn't matter if you already know the answer. Most people say you know what? I know everything when I go somewhere. So yeah, maybe you know it. But even you can ask the question. Let's say that for example, I goto a social networking. Then I know that the conference which started on what, nine and it's 8 30 I would just push them on. Hey, Sorry. Can I just ask you a question? Do you know when the conference would start? Then they say, Oh, yeah, I think it starts at nine. OK, interesting. And then you can say something else. We'll see later how to continue that. But I want to say that you can approach someone dress, but by asking your basic question when you asked the baby question, you can start the direction with Hey, excuse me, Can I ask you a quick question? Because by saying that Hey, excuse me. Can I ask you a quick question? People with. See that? It's quick and you just want to ask them a question. You don't want, for example, to be with them for five hours. So you can say Hey, excuse me, Can I ask you a quick question? I just wanted to know data. It works really well. And then people will see that 99% of the time they will answer in a friendly way. And then you can transition. But we'll see that later. It's really about approaching. You can also ask an opinion. You can say Hey, excuse me. Can I ask you a quick opinion? Do you prefer these wine or this wine? You can say, Hey, uh, which cocktail are you drinking? It is good. It is bad. Hey, do you know if I should do do that or that? Hey, do you know if it's better to go to this place off this place? Toe have dinner so you can see that here There are many things that you can use. You can ask a basic question, which is really basic, and it doesn't really matter. It just about starting the car and you are to or you can also ask an opinion, you can say, Hey, ah, friend gave me the show. Do you think it matches my eyes or do you think it looks great on me? It doesn't really matter. Just asking an opinion at the end. He just starting the castle. He I give you great advice is to approach someone so it's in direct. So by asking a question or asking opinion and before you so that you could complement someone or introduce yourself. So now you have really great tools that you can use to approach someone desire the easiest one, and these are other one that will work 99% of the time. There are other ways to approach someone, but it's more difficult, and the the success rate is much lower. So I wanted to give you something that really works, and that is simple to use because that's the thing that you want to have. You want to have simple tools that you can use to approach someone 7. My 4 Best techniques To REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE PERSON YOU MET: So how can you remember the name we have? Oh, being in the conversation And then you are talking with someone and then you don't remember the name you just want. You want, for example, to take the number or white gunning down that you don't remember. It's really uncomfortable. So how can you remember the name first? You must listen to the name. For example, when someone introduced himself and Saiz. Hey, my name is Mark. Listen to that. Don't be. Don't think about the next thing that you want to say or about something else. Listen and be present to the conversation. Then you will see that you will remember the names. What you can also do is repeats the name 10 times in your head. Let's say that for exams Say Hey, my name is Alan and then you say, Hey, my name is Mark. I will just repeat. Mark. Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark. Then you would say something in recent Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark. It will be on the back off my head because what you want to do is that you want to remember that by increasing the times that you see the name in your head. So these are great ways to repeat the name in your head. What you can also do is use the name is a conversation. If you say Hey, my name is Alan and then say, Hey, my name is Mark and then I ask you a question and then, like you instance, see a market. Can I just say something to you or Hey, Mark, can I just ask you a question? Hey, Mark, What do you think of that? By using that first, you will remember the name because you will increase that the times that you used the name . But also you will have an amazing impact. Because remember last time that someone called you by your name is your family friends the strangers that we never use your name. But if you say if you use the name, people will be like, Oh my God, it is especially a friend are. And the impact here that you will get is that you will be able to connect faster with the person. And the person will like you more because you are calling them by the name. So he's a really great way to remember is to think about first. Sorry. A really great way to remember is to really use the name in the conversation. Another great technique. If you want to remember, the name is toe associate. The person with someone you know. If, for example, I say, Hey, my name is Alan and then you say, Hey, my name is Mark, then a secure mark. Okay? I have a friend that is Goldmark. And I just also shake this person with my friend, and I can I can forget it. And then at the end of hey, what was his name? And I won't think about his name. But I would think about my friend. And I know how my friends called. And then I know the name. There's something that works. Really, really well. Okay, Now, I would like just to share with you like a small bonus tip. And it's something that I use if I really forget the name and you want, for example, to take the number. So I'm just asking for them. Say, Hey, can you give me your number? And then I have the number here and I say, Hey, actually, what is your name, then? the person we say, Hey, it's Mark Say yeah, I know, I know. But what is your last name? Okay. And these works for you help Because people think that you forgot. But actually you say no. And then you say that you asked for the last name and then you get And then here you go. You have Mark and the last name. So it is a really great way. I hope that you enjoy the section here on on names. It's important. And it's something that we really set you apart. If you use names in conversation, you will see that you will have amazing impact. 8. Why it is Important to NEVER BRAG: bragging. So it's really important that you don't brag. For example, if you want a social situation said, Hey, you know what? I just came back from this trip in New York, and my business made a 100 K and this is great because look at my on my watch here. I'm really good, amazing people who do this kind of things is that very daunts. It's because they don't really. They're not really confident with it. And they have this lack of self esteem so that they need to show people that they are the best. That's why did he? Because imagine that someone that is confident and has a good self esteem and owns, for example, business that is making a lot of money travels a lot. This person is not going to say, Hey, I have this business. I mean 100 k today No dispenses Hey, yeah, yeah, I just have a business and they want to even say the amount or they won't even say when the travel, for example. When I travel and I give my conferences and I know that there are people as that can be Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I don't use that, For example, in our present say, Yeah, I just went toe your friend and I'm going to say I gave a conference at the Sheraton tonight in front of 50 50 people. But I say, Hey, I just I just saw a friend because I also if you really own it And if you have a high self esteem and you feel comfortable that you don't you don't have the need to always smash that into the other person's. So, yeah, I just wanted toe give you a war. He is not never like don't write is if you have the things and they will come up in the conversation naturally. But don't brag because you want to impress someone, okay? Because you will see that the person we see that the person we see that you're trying to impress them, and it's a big turn off. So my question is, are you bragging? You know, when you're approached someone you're in a social situation, you have to say, Hey, you know what? I just came back from this trip from New York. It was really great. My business partner had Ah, $5000 deal and this is great. And tomorrow I'm going to last Vegas to have some fun because my father gave me $50,000 I just bought this car is an extreme example, but it can be in the most after way. But you would see that if you stop bragging and after actually, yeah, if you stop bragging, you would see that you would have better socially directions. So it is really, really hear. A word of warning that I wanted to give you is still bragging because you will. You are losing a lot of social interactions because of that. 9. Psychology of FEAR OF APPROACHING: Okay, so welcome day to So now let's discuss the psychology off the feet off Approaching. Why do we have it? Because you have person a person. Be here. You want to approach this person? Why do you have this fear? So you have this fear because you want to be loved. You don't want to be rejected. But also there is something that is ingrained in our brain. Imagine, that's little Alan was here and then 1,000,000 of years ago Little Alan wasn't a try. So it was dangerous off there because there are predators and I am in the tribe. And then if I approached someone, I think the risk off being rejected. And if they reject me from the tribe, I would be dead because they would say, OK, you're not in the tribe anymore. And then I will die because I don't know how toe how to hunt. I don't know how to protect myself. There are predators out there, so it's it's dangerous. Rejection is dangerous back then. But the thing is that we still have that ingrained in our brain. That rejection can cause death. But it's not the case anymore because If you approach someone in a social situation, it doesn't mean that you will die. But your brain still thinks that because it's ingrained in our brain. So when you're approached someone, you think Oh my God dispersing direct reject me. I can die. It's not consciously but unconsciously because it can be dangerous. You can approach them on. And you can say I can approach this person And yet you still have this fear he inside you that you can get rejected. And this week, East Europe can approach this person. This person can say, Oh, no, I I don't like you And then it's it hurts not to be like Okay, these, like most people have this mindset off. Okay, I'm going to approach this person. And if they don't like me or my God, it means that I am a bad person. It doesn't mean that it means that the approach you did our it can be the approach it'd I can also be Thea the person situation, for example. Just person had a really great, really bad day. It's not your fault, so don't take it personally. When you approach someone, there's something that is really important. When you approach someone, don't take it personally. If someone rejects you, it's not because you are a bad person or hard or person. It can be that the only person had a bad day or maybe you were nuts on top of your game. But it doesn't mean that you are loser of that person, so really be away after. So the fee off approaching, we didn't go away, we did go away and I have a son answer for you. No, it won't. The things that the more your approach, the more you will get comfortable with this fear and the more comfortable you are with this fear, the Barrett is. But it will never get away, even never, never go away. Never. So the only way is to accept it. Accept the fact that the fear off approaching, which still be there when I go out or when I am in a social situation and I want to approach someone, I know that the fear will be there. So it was like I don't even recognize it because I know that when I arrived in a social situation, I know that the feeling that you say Okay. This is the fear here. You can even name it. You can name for example. My fear is called Tony. I know that when I will go in a social situation, Tony will be there. Say, Hey, Tony, how you This is my fear my feel for approaching is Kotani So I go there, say, Hey, Tony, how you are You have a great day. Yeah, I know that. You're trying. You're trying toe toe to make me go home and cry like a little beach because you don't for me to approach. I know, Tony, but that's great study. That's right. I'm going still going toe approach and yeah, that's it. You You can stay here with me. You can hang out with me. This is what it is. OK, so these are really great. It's a fun way, actually, toe handle that. So be conscious. Be aware that your fear will always be here. But the more you approach, the more you would see that it's safe to approach someone. So I really encourage you to approach people and to show your brain that it's safe to approach people. Okay, but I know how difficult it is. because you still have that ingrained in our brain that you can die. But now we'll see techniques that you can use so that you can decrease this year for approaching so that Tony can be decreased like mind. Tony can be decreased. Let's see technique one. 10. Decrease Your FEAR OF APPROACHING: Technique 1: The first technique here is to approach as soon as you want to. Let's say that I go to a social situation and then I see someone I want to approach instead off looking at this person or staring a dispersant for 10 minutes and building my fear for approaching. I would see this person and then I will go straight to this person and then introduce myself or use a day fort. Open it. Why? Because the more you wait, the more the fear will build here. And if you approach immediately when you when you want to approach the fear doesn't have time toe, enter your body. So it is something that is really powerful because most people they see someone That's okay . I want to approach this person. I have a dispersant with this person, but then the waitresses here, then what can happen is that you But that that's too difficult because here and here and here and then the fear between CIA. But But it it's my boss. And what happens if something bad happens? Ah, and then it's over. Jamie's over. But if you see the person say OK Oh, I want to talk to this person. The situation is clear. Let's go. Hey, my name is Alan. How are you? You see the difference There Fear doesn't have time. My Tony doesn't have time to Ah, to enter my body. What happens if you don't approach as soon as you see this person? Relax. Let's think the situation. I want to approach someone here. I just said Okay. I want to approach someone and then I don't approach and have a little bit scared. I know that the figures here, what you can do is that instead off warring, I gotta have to approach after approach. Forget it. Relax. So I will be OK. I want to approach. I want to approach Frank. Oh, yeah, but I don't know their fears here. Say OK, relax it. I would forget that I want to approach the special Relax here. I will do something else. Maybe talk to someone else. And then again, the wisdoms Hey, I want a pretty special and then I go. You can see here that it's a really great technique is if you can approach a special directly, go for it. But if you can't just relax. Let the fear go away, tell you that your brain Hey, I'm not going to approach this person. Then do something else. And then when you see this person again, you go straight and you'll see that if you do that, you will get amazing results and the fear will decrease. So this is technique, one that is really powerful, and I use it every day. Actually, it's not like everyday approach straight away. But when I see someone that they want to approach and then if I don't approach the special , I would just wait a little bit relaxed. Forget it. I'm going to approach this person. Look around, do something else. That's a dispersant here. Boom! And then I go. It's actually how I treat my body, so it works really, really well. 11. Decrease Your FEAR OF APPROACHING: Technique 2: the technique. Number two is that you want to show your brain that the environment is safe. So what does it mean when you arrive in a new environment? It can be a social situation can be a bar. It can be a networking events, any social situation. You don't know if this environment is safe. You don't know if you can approach someone because back in the days if you could approach someone and then someone could, then you can have a cave man that came and smashed your head with a stone that could happen , so you have still that's ingrained in your brain. You don't know if these environment is safe. So what? You can do it toe to show your brain that the environment is safe. So that's you so that you will have less feel for approaching someone because you know that the environment is safe. What you can do is that you just approach someone you approached the first person you see. Let's say that you go to a bar. Let's say that you goto networking events. You approached the first person and ask a basic question. So, for example, when I enter about I just approached. I enter and approach the first person I see Say until the brian and say, Hey. Ah, you're having a great night. Hi, my name is Alan. Oh, my name is Ah, a TSA. Hey, nice to meet you. Have a great night. Why? Why am I doing that? It's not because maybe I want to talk with this person. But you maybe yes, maybe. No. The thing is that I want to show my brain that it's safe toe approaching his environment when I was at university and I had to give speeches there, what I would do because we have to wait sometimes 45 minutes before giving the speech, I would ask a question. I would ask a question. Toe the professor, I say, Hey, I just have a question about that. What? Can you do that by doing that, I'm speaking up. So it means that I'm showing my brain that it's safe to be loud in this environment. It and nothing bad would happen. And then when it's my turn to give the speech, my speech will be re powerful because every I will be relaxed because I will have less fear because I know I showed my brain that it's safe toe act like that in this environment. So show you bring that it's safe to approach people in this environment. If you are at a networking event, you can approach the first person you see. Hey, my name is Mark. How was the conference? Oh, hey, my name is Mark. How is your day going? Oh, my name is going. Oh, cool. It was nice to meet you. See you later. You just want to show your brain that you can approach this person because then when you see someone that you really want to approach, the few of approaching will be decreased. So this is a really great way that you can use and actually designed to techniques that I use is 1st 1 we discussed before approach as soon as possible. And if you didn't approach you, just relax. Forget that you want to approach this person, and then when you see this person again, you approach. And also you can combine that with approach. The first person you see in the environments you want to approach people. So these are my two great techniques. And if you do that. If you get used to approaching people, you will see that your fear, which should be there now. My fear that I called Tony. I know I'm having fun with stunning. Actually, 10 years ago, when I had Tony, it was awful because Tony was was really terrible When I say Hey, Tony is just here and he's trying to mess with me so that I don't approach people. I know Tony's here, That's it. So you can see it someone about this with the mindset when your approach people So name your fear, the name you feel. My name is the name of my fear Estonia, What's yours? And then play with it. Hey, Anthony is here. When I'm going to approach people, I know he's going to mess with me trying toe make me a little bit scared and uncomfortable . I know he's here, but it's OK. He's he's still young, but you can have fun with it, and then you see that the fear for approaching that was something really bad. It's just like Tony trying to mess with me 12. The Power Of BREATHING To Make A Good First Impression: brief thing that's really important because what's really funny is that most people, when they approach someone they forget to be, they are so stressed that they want to approach is person. And when they do that, they don't bathe a whole depressing Hayman Island, and that's it. It's weird, because with dress, so we tend to close our body and we forget to breathe because you were stressed. They want to keep the air in because we don't know what's going to happen because way are going to approach the Monceau. We hold our our breath and, uh, and these were instead of what you want to do. What you want to be doing is you want to breathe deeply. So first, focus on breathing just before approaching someone. When you want to approach someone, don't hope. Don't don't hold everything but breathe deeply. What you can do is that before approaching someone, you just have three deep one to three. First it will can you down. You will see that you will be less stressed, but also your voice will be, uh, better will be more calm and it really, really have a great impact. So don't forget to breathe what you can do it. So in the morning you can breathe with your belly. Just make that so you inhale by the nose and you exhale by by the mouth of light by the mouse and the belly. Try to breathe with you. Barely is something that is really important. And if you do that every morning for one minute, you breathe by the nose and then you feel you barely moving and then you exhale by the mouse. You will get used to breathing like that. And there's something that is really great, because when you will be in a social situation, you won't be stressed because you have this good mechanism off breathing. So don't forget to brief when you're in a social situation just before approaching someone , dress briefs 123 times. Relax and you will see that you we are appear more confident. Just with this simple technique that's as easy. Aditi's 13. Be CHARISMATIC: How to Be 100% PRESENT in Social Interactions: If you want to be a magnetic person, being present is really important. What is being present? Is it some weird thing that you can do? No. Being present means that you are 100%. Your focus is 100% in their interaction, you know, thinking about the things that you would say next. You're not thinking about the things that you will do tomorrow. The only things that you are focusing is the person in front of you what the person is saying. And if you do that, you will see that people will say I really had a great time with this person. I really connected with this person. This person is special because nowadays most people, when you talk with them, we are focusing on something else. Their phone. What have what's happening tomorrow? What happened before were not fully present in the interaction. So that's really important that when you are in any direction with someone, if you want to be charismatic, you have to be present. So now when I'm talking to you, I'm not thinking about what I'm going to say next, just flowing out off my mouse. So Jesus, Great. So I'm 100% present here. When I'm talking to you, I'm 100 presents. So when I'm sharing things with you when I'm talking here, I'm 100% present, so I'm really enjoying the moment. I'm not thinking about tomorrow, Halama. Goingto indeed. The videos. Because if I do that Okay, let's do the example. Now I'm going to share things, but I'm going to think about other things. Okay, So hi. Welcome to this course. And this is Ah, this is a great course. So, yeah, I want to talk about social skills and you would see that you really improved. You see, the divide, the energy, The intensity is different because he felt to connect with the money have to be 100% present. Okay, so you have to be in the interaction and you will see that if you do that, people will say, Hey, I really connected with this person. And there is something special with this person. So how can you be present first? Most people are not present because they are thinking about what to say. Next. Let's say that we are having a conversation and then you say something you say, Hey, I'm going to Barcelona for the weekend and then I'm going to see Okay, What can I say about Barcelona? What can I say about the Barcelona then? You are continuing the story. But I know that I'm not listening because I'm thinking about Barcelona. What I'm going to say instead just released into the other person and then trust yourself. Trust the fact that you will have something to say. We'll see later the conversation basics. But I want to show you here that trust yourself that you will have something to say and enjoy the moment with the other person. Now, how can you do that? Let's say that, for example, you in a social situation, you're interacting with someone and then you are thinking about all the things. What you can do is that you focus on the feeling in your body. So if I'm thinking about other things about my socks, about whatever it is, I'm going toe put back the emotions and the feelings in my body. So I'm going to feel my feet from my legs in my barely feel my both on the chair. I'm going to feel my hair, my face. I'm going to take back the emotions and the feelings inside my body, and I'm going to reconnect with my body with my body. A great way to do that, for example, is too. See the weight of your tongue. I know it's weird, but just do that. Try to feel the weight of your tongue and think about your laundry. It's really difficult, because by focusing your fuck you intention your focus inside your body, you will be completely present instead of focusing on things outside. So this is a great technique, is focused on the on the emotions and the feelings in your body, and you will see that you will be way more present and when you always someone be with someone. So if you approach someone and you are having this time with this person, be with this person that 100% what I can do, and also a mindset that I have is that when I approach someone, this person is front of me is the most important person in the world. If you're having a president Barack Obama, or if you have someone that is really important and powerful, are you going to be thinking about other things. Are you going to give him or your focus and energy? There's something that you can do when you approach someone. Imagine that is Barack Obama and you're just present. Just you are with this person in the moment and you will see that if you do that, if you are present when you approach someone, you will really have amazing social interactions. And their first impression that people will get will be incredible, because people will say there is something special about this person and he is once you want to do so, if you want to increase thes, be present thing, you can meditate. You can do meditation in the morning. You don't need to do that for half an hour. You can do 5 10 20 minutes as as much as you want, and as long as you're comfortable with what you can do that you can start with five minutes what you do, you can say OK, every morning before taking my shower, I would see down in the chair. We just don't be straight, and I really relax. We breathe. I will put my focus inside my body so I would focus on my breathing on the sensations I have And if you I mean, if I have a thought that comes in I would just take the thought and put it in on the cloud and let it go. This is how I meditate. I just see down in the chair I focused on the feelings in my body. I focus on my breathing and then if I have, I want to think about something. I have a thought. I just put it in a cloud. I imagine a cloud and they just the cloud goes away with I just let it go And then I've trained my brain to be present, So there's something that you could do also, if you really want to be ah, present in a new interaction on you would see that if you do that your first impression with really increase. So this is a really great advice and I encourage you to meditate and to be present in social situations. 14. Secret Method To Boost Your CONFIDENCE Before Entering A New Social Place: there is a way that you can use to boost your confidence just before you enter a new place . They say that you have a job interview, you are going to networking events all you want to get, you have to give a conference. And, yeah, there is a new situation off social situation that you're going toe enter and you don't feel really comfortable. Okay, What you can do that you can hack your brain because there are studies that have been made . And that shows that if you adopt a posture off someone that is highly confident, that is an Alfa male or woman, you will tends to increase your testosterone level and decrees your stress level. So if you adopt the first year off someone that is really high confidence, you will be more confident. So most people, what they do is that they want toe enter place and they don't feel really comfortable. Also, they adopt the person off someone that is not comfortable and confident, so your body will get the sign that you're not really confident and your stress level with increased. But what you want to do is that you want to decrease your stress level. So how can you decrease? The stress level is adopt the person off someone that is confident. So if you are sitting on the chair off, you are standing up. Put your shoulders back, you chest is open, you headed straight, Be proud. And then with your hands, you can open your hands like that to take space and then smiled because if you smile, it will show your brain that you are happy, and it will also have a positive impact on your confidence and decrease your stress level so you can do that dress before leaving your home. If you do that 20 seconds every day, you will see that your stress will decrease. Any confidence will increase. Why? Because you're adopting the person off, the one that is confident, and if you approach the posture of some other is confidence your body will recognize that and then we'll give you the confidence that you need and will decrease your stress because if you change your posture, it will change how you feel. If you change how you feel, it will send your posture so you can do either way, so you change your posture by adopting the person off someone that is highly confidence. You know that for 20 seconds you can do that in your house. And then you will see that for the next hour you will be more confident. Try that now, try to know. Okay, let's do that. Just stand up. If you are at your office and you're watching that, maybe don't do there now. But if you are home watching, that's just right, right? Stand up. And then out of the past year off the one that is confident. Just open shoulders back, head straight. Smile and put your hands again. How do you feel after these 20 seconds, you will feel better, more confident. So this is the goal. This is a great tip here that I share with you that you can use if you feel less confident . You can also do that in the toilets. I did that many times before job interviews when I had a job or before my conferences. I go in the toilets. I locked myself in the cabin and and then I do it. No one would see me. And then when I leave the toilets, my friends say, Hey, We are more confident what happened in there. So you can see that it works really, really well. So I encourage you to try. Now try it. Don't be shy. It's really about practice. Practice that and you will see that yours confidence will increase. 15. How to Be The Most INTERESTING Person in The Room: how to be the most interesting person in the room. So the goal here is that with this course is to increase your first impression so that its legendary amazing and you can connect with people and people. Really, they hey, is the most interesting person I saw today. But in order to be this person here, I'm giving you great advice is you really must apply it. So if you want to be the most interesting person in the room, you really have to apply and try the things. And don't be afraid to fail because most people say you know what? I just found the great advices. But I don't want to try it and want to fade. And I want to take the risk. I just want the right thing. And if I applied, everything will go well. But it's not like that. He I give you already great advice is really you should really apply them. You should really put them into practice and test them to see if you get good results. If you don't get good results, try to address it. Try to address it and try again until you succeed. But don't be afraid to try. Because if you try and then you fail, it's still on experiments. So see, see that as a social experiment. You should really do that. You should really get these references for the concept that I'm giving you. You can say yeah, but there are people that are naturally gifted or there are people that I really good at what they do. I don't have a chance. There are good at what they do. Because they had this reference, they had his experiences. What can happen is that when they were in high school, they had these references and then they had the right references and then the bearded up and then they're just built on the references. But now, if you want to increase, you have to start with this new reference here. You want to show your brain that the advice is I gave you here are working for you, so you should really put them into practice. So that's you will start getting the references, so that's your first impression will increase and you will be the most important. The room most important, most important person in the room. And you will see that If you do that, you will succeed. But be open minded. Go for it. If you have to fail, fail, just go and try it. Okay? It's about trying you, for example, if it's in ah, work environment or where people know you just go somewhere else were Well, no one knows you and go and test the consent that I gave you. But you must show your brain that that works and you should try and see by yourself tweak its according to your personality. Okay, so there's something that is really important. And don't be afraid to fail most. When I started, my friends were telling me how you fade. He got rejected. Oh geez, what's weird? But then I looked now and I say I really improved and I have the life I have now. Don't take it seriously. If someone say something will tell you study something, it doesn't mean she tried it. It doesn't change her address. Jealous because you are trying to improve social skills and trying things. And it's about trying about trying new things. So here, with the course and give you great advice is so you will faII less, but you will still fail. And you should be aware of that and just go trite and you would see that you would get results. You will really get results if you go and you applied. So this is how you're going to be the most interesting person in the room. 16. The Perfect MINDSET About APPROACHING New People: the psychology off approaching is something that is really interesting. You have person A and you have person be the person a wants to approach person B. But it's not as easy because it can be difficult because you don't know who this person is . Maybe this person will hurt you. Maybe someone around we see that you approached this person is dangerous and this other person can kill you. You can say Yeah, but no one will kill me nowadays. Yes, but the thing with psychology off approaching it started many years ago, many 1000 years ago when we were in the tribe and we still have destroyed instincts, which is, if you approach someone, then I get rejected. Maybe I will die because then they will kick me out of the tribe. So this is why we have this fee or for approaching someone we have this. Do you think that we don't know if it's safe to approach someone else because it can be Denver's, and most of the time, we don't want to approach this person because we don't want to take the risk. That's something bad happens. So then we don't approach. So there's something that you should address have in mind is that it's normal to be afraid . It's normal to be afraid. But there are things that you can do so that you can increase your senses off approaching someone and make an amazing first impression to make a really good first impression. You must be focused on feeling good. But then you would say, You know what, Alan here, but it's what you see. Do you know that it's only 7%? The communication between human beings is only 7% verbal and 93% non verbal. So you could have almost nothing to say if you have the 93% which is your nonverbal communication, which is the sound of your voice. They all your eye contact. You smile your vibe, the energy that you are trending with someone. If you have the 93% it will at way to the 7%. Yes, I will teach you the 7%. But I just want to give you this key here. Is that when you want to approach someone instead of saying Okay, what do I see? What do I say? Ask you, said Specialty. How can I feel good and then to feel good, you just have to to feel good emotions in your body. You can remember something to really great that happened to you. You can remember for example, last time you went on vacation and you love it. You just have to. I feel these good emotions here, and then you can approach someone. You would see that when you approach someone and you have good emotions, it's way more impactful impactful than saying, OK, what do I say? What do I say? That you are all stress and you have negative energy in your body. So focus on feeling good when you approach someone and do something that sister exercise you can do is that right? Now focus on feeling good. Focus on having good emotions in your body. So for the first I know for the five seconds for the next five second, just focus on feeling good. I feel really good right now, and it's a really great stepped off mind toe approach. Someone because you feel good. He must be conscious that it starts before approaching. When you want to approach someone, Most people think that's it starts when you approach someone, but actually not. It started before approaching. Why? Because your mindset will have an impact the way you feel as we discussed before. But also if people see you doing things that are weird off people, if people see you doing things that make you low value, for example, let's say that you are networking event or you are somewhere in a social situation and you want to approach someone. And then this person, for example, ways that you and then what you do is that you just look at them awkwardly and do nothing because you are afraid. Or, for example, let's say that dispersant just smiles at you or even this person just looks at you. And then you are your old stress like that. You haven't even approached someone. But the first impression that they have that this person has is that you are someone that is low, confident, low value, and you must be conscious that when you enter social environment, you should be feeling good having fun. And also you should be confident and be aware of that that when you enter a social situation, people around you will be looking at you and the first impression that they will get is when you are in the social situation. It's also when you approach them. But there is also that you have this 1st 1st impressions like when you enter a room or when you're in a social situation. So that's really important to consider that. Let's take an example, you go to a bar and, for example, let's say that I want to put forget and that enter the bar. I'm old stressed. Then a girl looks at me, and then I looked down and look all stressed. I haven't even approached, but the girl says, Oh, this guy's a loser He is not confident. So be aware of that, that it can be a networking event. The job interview. So most people think that it starts in the room, know it started when they interview ever comes a t interest and say, Hey, you can you can come in. It starts there. It doesn't start. When the areas the interview ever says Okay, what makes it what makes you a great candidate? So be aware of that. It starts really, really something that you should really keep in mind toe approach someone the first key that you must be congruent with your state and with the things that you want to say. Let's say that, for example, you want to approach someone and you want to say you want, for example to give a compliment, but you don't feel like it. Let's say that you want to give a compliment with high energy. Say, Hey, you are awesome. Oh, hey, I really like your job. Let's say that you learned that or you read that on the Internet and you want to approach someone like that, but you don't feel like it. Let's say that you feel nervous and you don't really want to give a compliment toe the key to create approaches that you must, it must be congruent with how you feel, who you are and what you want to say. So this is really important is that later I will give you keys. I would share with you tools and things you can say, but it must be congruent with your state because that is what will make an approach. Work is the fact that it's congruent with who you are. So again, if you go and you approach someone with something, for example. Hey, how is the weather today? And you really don't want to say that it will come across that way as as weird. Why? Because the communications 93% and the words only 7%. So the words are there like it's not too bad. But then the 93% are terrible. So you must be congruent with that. So this is the first keep. When you approach someone, you must really be aware off your state off what you want to say and what you want to do and then just go with the flow. Okay, I will give you things to say, but it has to be congruent with the fact with the way you approach now. Okay, Alan, you want to give me ways to approach, But then you say that it is in the moment. Okay, What do you do? My suggestion is like select two or three rays off approaching someone and then go for it. These are you. They vote openers and we see later how you can approach someone exactly what you can say. But I just want here to give you the idea that you must select two or three ways that I can rent with who you are and use them. For example, one way that I used that If I have nothing to say, I mean the really low energy and everything. It's pissing me off and I really don't want to approach and I had and 1/2 and I have to approach and say, Hey, my name is Alan because I know that I can be re high energy or I can be depressed and say Hey, my name's Alan and I know that it would work So we'll see later. The open is that you can use, but just focus on that. Find the one that really resonate with you and that you can use, even like if you're in a bad mood or in a great mood. So it's really once that resonate with you. Starting any direction with someone is not the most important thing people think on you. No matter. I have to approach this person disease. The most important thing, the thing that they focused on. Okay, what am I going to see in the 1st 10 seconds? How am I going to approach someone But why are you focusing on the only first seconds off the interaction? Not focusing on the whole interaction because I consider that approaching someone it's like starting the car. You are a new car. Okay. In the morning, let's say that you wake up and then you have to go to work. So you go in your car, then you put the keen and then you turn on the car and then you drive. Approaching someone is just putting the key in and turning the car and turning, turning the car, turning on the car. That's what it is. Then you have to drive. But driving is then how they're going to lead the conversation. And then it's how your eye contact everything. But approaching someone is just starting the car. You just go and say hi. Hey, my name is that or your approach someone in a way that you will see later. It just you just approaching just starting the car. You're not like Oh my God. I have to start the car this morning. Have to start the car this morning. No, you just go and you do it. That the same thing with approaching you go. You approach someone with one or two sentences and then that's it. The guys on and then you have to drive the car. But we see later how we can do that now. Just a few words about the psychology of approaching. I just want to share with you this kid. That is the main key for me. It's not the words that you say that are important. What is important is that you are the one saying the words. You are the one saying that Let's say that for example, I go and I approach someone and say, Hey, my name is Alan. I really wanted to meet you. It's not the word that I'm saying, but it's the fact that I am going to approach them. That is the fact that it is who I am that is going to matter. Not really the words, because remember, 7% so really in this section here. I wanted to show you that 93% of words it's really important toe approach someone and be congruent with the way you approach someone and focus on feeling good and you know that dress by you being yourself and approaching with an authentic style. It will work way better done learning lines and applying it. And if it's not congruent, you see here already the difference that that you have between approaching and being authentic and saying the things that you want to say and at our good in a situation and the opposite, which is like preparing everything, focusing on what to say, enough focusing on feeling good and then going for that. You see one will be robotic and while one will be charismatic so that it's this is the first sections about the psychology of approaching. Now let's jump into the section, OK, how can we approach someone? 17. How to Use the Power of Your EYE CONTACT: okay, I contact. So I contact is something that is really important when you approach someone, Are you maintaining eye contact while you looking elsewhere? Because he is something that is really important? Because if you might an eye contact, we say that eyes are the window off the south, and this is how you can connect with someone, just how you can sure energy with your the person is with your eyes and this how you can share emotions. So if you are not connecting with the other person, how you connected but is by looking into the other person's eyes. If you don't do that, you can't really connect with someone, and your first impression will be really bad. Remember last time you were interacting with someone and the other person was not looking directly into your eyes but was like looking away? Did you have a great feeling about this person or a bad feeling about this person? I'm sure it was the back feeling. So you go here is to maintain good eye contact with people. I'm not saying looked like a creepy person and maintain 100% off the time the eye contact. But most of the time when you are talking with someone might in eye contact. And if you guys want to go away and this is normal because when you talk to someone you will access different areas in your brain so your eyes will automatically go away toe, find information. So it's normal not to be 100% of the time looking directly into the person eyes, But most of the time you should be. So now we're like, I'm talking to you. I'm looking at you, but I'm so I'm accessing different areas off my brain. But you can see that most of the time I'm talking to you now if I show you the bad example . Okay. So you are the person and I say, Hey, my name is Island. Yeah. Do you know where I can find ah can find a good bakery? Yes. Okay. Hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a great place here. You can see the difference in the connection that you have. And if you want to be good and you'll want to give an amazing great impression, you must be able to maintain eye contact. So most people who say yeah, but I'm not used to it. I say. Okay, fine. Start slowly. Start slowly by just mining a little bit off eye contact and then be comfortable. If you're not really comfortable by maintaining eye contact, you can look here at the eyebrows and it's really great. It's a really great exercise that my girlfriend gave me actually is if you look at the eyebrows instead of the eyes, you won't really see the difference. And when she told me that I say no, no way, you will see the different. So I tried that with her. I asked her, Okay, Can you once you look directly into my eyes and then once you look in the eye brows. And then I was not able to tell when she was looking directly into my eyes and when she was looking the high rise. But for hair, the intensity was different because she was not looking directly, but she was looking into my eyebrows. But for me, it was as if she was looking directly into my eyes. So for you, if you don't feel really comfortable, you can look at the eyebrows and you will see that it will also it will make as if you are maintaining eye contact. So to start it's great to start if you're not really comfortable is something you can do another great way to really maintain eye contact. It's when you approach someone you can try to find the I chord. So when you approach someone, you dress a okay. What is the icon of dispersant? Because most of the time when we leave any direction and maybe that's the same case in case for you, when you're given a direction, you don't know the icon of the other person. So it means that you are not really focusing on the ice. You are focusing on something else, but if you say OK, I'm going to approach someone and then I'm going to look and see the eye corner of this person. He would approach and you will directly look into the person eyes so you can do that. And then most of the time you maintain eye contact. It's normal to look a little bit away because you are accessing different areas. But don't be talking and looking around and not looking to the person eyes is as simple as it is so great exercise that you can do is that today when you will be interacting with people Look at the eye, Cora. Okay, Okay. This is blue. And then you had the circuits blue, or it start raining or its start blue, and you would see that it would really improve. The intensity will improve. The intensity off you interacted will improve, will connect with people. And it will also entries your first impression. Now, if you see that the person is a little bit defensive, so it should see that the person is not used to heaven. Such an intense eye contact. It can be two things. First, you are staring like creepy person. So if you see, that's the case. When you go home later that night, you just go in front of the mirror and you see how you look at someone. And maybe there's somewhere in your face what stressed, Or it can be that the other person is a little bit uncomfortable. So you just have to release the eye contact. You can really see eye contact and also that it's the distance you have between two people . Maybe you are too close to the other person. Okay, so this is something that you can do If you see if I see that I'm talking to you and I see that the person is uncomfortable with me. I would just look a little bit away. We fake it so that the other person can feel more comfortable because my goal here is that you, the other person, feels comfortable. Okay, So disagreed. Exercises toe, look into the eyes. And also, you can look at the eyebrows if you're not really comfortable with that and be aware that you should maintain eye contact with people so that that's how you can connect if you both this coursey is that because you really want to improve your first impression? So this one of the most powerful tools is I contact. So you should really be aware of that. And I hope the section have 18. How to Use the Power of Your SMILE: your smile, so your smile. Your smile is a really powerful weapon, but it's a powerful weapon that can help you in social situations, but that can also destroy you in social situations. The two types of smiles the 1st 1 is when you smile and when. It's an expression off yourself in expression off your inner happiness. So it means that your smile, because you want to smile and the second smile is the approval. Seeking Smile is the one that is stressed, that it's fake, and that will really destroy your search down interactions. So how to illustrate the to smile the 1st 1 The first smile that you have is that it's coming from a place where you want to share happiness. You really want to smile. You want to smile because you want to smile, not because you want to impress the other person. So now I ask you this question. When you smile, you smile because you want to smile or you're smiling because you want to impress the other person. Okay, so this is the first key here. Remember the night before Christmas when you were a child, you were really excited. You excited about about Christmas, and you were like smiling like crazy. You're not smiling because you wanted to impress your parents. We were smiling because you were happy. When you go to a social interaction, you should smile because you want to smile with the other person, not because you want to smile because you want the other person to like you. And this is the thing. Here is the catch. If you smile because you want to impress your the person and you want the other person to like you, it can destroy you search and directions because your smile will be approval seeking. And what you want to have instead is a smile. It is an expression off your in a happiness. I'm not sure that it's already happened to you, and I want to illustrate. That is when you met the salesperson that was trying to manipulate you, and you knew that this person wanted something from you, which is your money. So you felt uncomfortable. I'm sure you felt uncomfortable is the same thing here. If you smile your stress to smile because you really wants to the other person to like you , it's the same thing as if you are trying to take something from them. You're trying to take love from them, and he's the same feeding that the person we have. So when you smile, you should really be aware that it should be an expression off where you are off your off your inner happiness and your smile doesn't have to be approval seeking. So if I'm just smiling with you and I'm smiling here because I want to smile, he's a natural smile. But if I say hey, hey, my name is Alan, I'm just here because yeah, I want I want to create a video. You see, if I'm doing like that, it's more like a smile. It is approval seeking, but even address. I just want to express myself and be happy. The smile is more authentic, and it's way more powerful now. Most people say, you know what? I'm don't feel really comfortable with my smile. I say. Okay, The advice I gave the spirit this people is that you go in front of the mirror and then you smile, and first you get comfortable smiling in front of a mirror. You lock yourself in a room and then you get comfortable smiling in front of the mirror. Maybe you don't like your teeth so you can develop a smile. Why don't you show it? Try to find a smile that is, that is comfortable for you. For example, when I start smiling, I had these area here that was more relaxed at the other one. So when I was smiling my smile by a little bit like that. What I did is that I just relaxed the muscles. Maybe that's also something for you. When you smile, you have one that goes up and one that goes a little bit down. So what you can do to relax? We just open the mouse widely. You can do that many times per day, and it will relax the muscles here. But it's important to be comfortable with that. So you want to smile in a socially direction because you want to smile because you want to express your inner happiness with the other person, and it's because you want to smile. Now if you want to have a happy mood, what you can do and what I do sometimes when I am in the traffic jam and like oh, My God is traffic jam. I'm going to use one hour here. You just smile So you make the biggest smile ever. And you do that for five seconds and you do, Then you imagine how funny you look. And then you would start laughing so sick and you can not laugh because you can think how ridiculous is. And now I can see here exactly how it looked so you can see that my mood is even even more happy. So you can do that. If you are in the mood, that isn't sad. You can do it like you fake. No, But you did that Not in front of people. Or you can do it so that in front of people that you can do that. You're going to toilets or in your car and you smile. But the biggest creepiest might ever. And look and then imagine how ridiculous you look and you would see that it will be really , really, really funny. So in between, increase your mood Now, I would like to give you also another great if that I use when I see people instead of when I see people I know instead off smiling directly at them like autumn, something that is automatic like I see someone, a smile. What I do is that I see someone. I recognize the present. And then I smile and by just waiting half a second or one second before smiling and really identifying the person, the person like, Oh my God, he smiled for me and these works really well. 19. The Power of Your BODY LANGUAGE: Handshake, Your Posture & More: Now, I would like to discuss a little bit about body language and your posture because it would be really important when you will approach someone. If you approach someone and then your shoulders are down, your head is down. You know that you feel a little bit down and then you approach someone and say, Hey, I want to make a great impression. Island, What's happening? The thing is that your posture is not great. So how is a great buster? What you can do that your shoulders. Show this back head. It's straight. And then you look at the back. Okay. You can see here that my shoulders are not like that. My chest is open, my shoulders are back and I'm looking at the back and my head is strict. You can imagine that you have here you have a string pulling you to the scalp, then also with your feet. You you just what you what? You can do that the feet have to be a little bit less than the shoulder. Um, length or what you can do also is to have a look at your waist. Okay, so your feet has to be aligned with your waist. It depends on the most comfortable position for you, but it's important to have a posture that is a great posture, because remember what we said before. If you have a great posture off, some on it is confident he will tend to increase your confidence and decrease your stress level. If you have a posture off someone that is low confidence and stressed, your body will feel stressed. So it's important to have a body language that is open and relax so that your attitude you provide your energy will be more open and relaxed. So there's something that is really important, So be aware off your body language. So if I ask you this question, how is your body language? When you interact with people? Are you mostly closed and like that or you more confident and more open when you talk to people, it will really make a difference so focused on that and next time that join the social situation, stop like for half a second. Okay, how is my body language? How can I improve? Open the chest showed the back had straight. Imagine that Everything string here, putting me back and then my my feet should be at the length off my, uh the length off my waist or shoulders. It depends on how comfortable I want to be on how comfortable it is for me. And if you do that, you would see that you will get great results. Okay, so you posture is also really important. Now the handshake. When you shake hands with someone, it has to be feared. And as I discussed before, I opened just a little bit. And then when someone puts the in here, I just shake it like that. And then these the hand here. Now you want to have an open body language by open body language is an open body language. He's a closed body language. Okay, so what you want to do is that you want to be open. Now, most people say that crossing arms is a sign off close body language. It can be, and it can't be. It all depends on the energy and the sub communication, because I can be talking to you, and but it can also be challenging. But if I'm just like that, it's close because I'm bored. So it all depends like I said that if you are new to these, don't close your arms. Don't cross your arms. Have them open so it can be here. It can be on your on your waist. It can be just hanging. Just send us an open body language. Remember not to cross your arms, not toe not to cross your legs. Uh, if you are, if you're standing but you can still do that, you can cross your legs. So it's not as important as the arms. I would say focus really are not crossing the Alps. If you are new to distant, just focus on having an open body language. Like I said before, we shoulda backs and everything that you will see that it would really help you. Now you can say that. Yeah, Adam, I can't really have my head straight or I can put my shoulders back. What can you do? So I just want to show you a few stretching exercise that you can do for the shoulder. You can do it like that. You put your shoulders like that, you hang here and then you push and you should feel a straight a stretch here. That way that way. And you can do that for 15 seconds every morning. Then you can do is put your hand here and then put them straight and then put up. So we pushed them back. And then you should feel a threat here and here. And then you can do to friends Heights. It's hurting. And then you can do that. You can do that every morning, 10 times here, 10 times here. 10 times here, then for the head. But you can do it. You can put the head to the side for 10 seconds. Then the other side. 10 seconds. Look up and feed a stretch here for 10 seconds. Look down and feel the stretch here. These are all the stretching move that you want to have to have a relaxed posture. So if you really want to get serious about getting a good create impression, you should really do that. You should really stretch your body so that you will get a great buster 20. The Power of The DISTANCE Between You & The Other Person: the sense with someone is also really important. It means that if you are too close to someone, the person can feel a little bit uncomfortable. And if you're too far away, the person can feel that you have a lack of connection. So a great way is to have to be at arm's length. So imagine that the other person would be here at arm length. D's an acceptable distance to interact with another human being. If you are a little bit closer than that, it can in the trauma, intimate with the person. And if you are a little bit more far way than that, it means that it's a stranger. So this is a rule that you can have a general rule that you can use so that if you can see okay, um, I at the good distance to the other person. Okay, now it will also depends on culture, so you should be a way of that. So because some cultures are really comfortable, right, you being next near them, and all the cultures are not really comfortable off you being near them. So what? You should do it that keep this rule here. The one law, the one arm length to the other person, and if you see that the person is not really comfortable, you can move. You can move back. Our move forwards how you do that. You look at the face. If you see that the person you see that the person has the look of someone that is not really comfortable, you can just adapt. You must be responsive to that because that's your role. You want really to make the other person feel comfortable to that you leave a really great impression, the first impression. So you must really be aware of that. Be aware of the distance that you have arm length and then you can try to get a little bit closer if you want more proximity and intimate E and Tennessee with the person. But if you see that the person is not comfortable, you just and then if you see that the person is comfortable, you can move a little bit closer. It's all about playing with his decent here, but start with arm length 21. How to CONNECT With ANYONE Instantly: How can you connect with anyone instantly is a question that many people ask me like, Hey, Alan, how can you connect with people instantly? So first, I'd like to start with an advanced technique and then I will give you the basic techniques . The advanced technique is that you can connect with someone by energy. So how you do you do that first you look, you might in eye contact. And then there is a rule that says that whatever you feel, the other person will feel. So if I'm talking to you and then I'm I'm I have a feeling of happiness inside me. You will feel a feeling of happiness If I have a feeding off six You had traction. You will feel it. If I have a feeling of being angry, you will feel it because my change my face will change. But through the energy I'm showing with you will change. And this is really interesting and just really it always amazed me when I do that is that when I do that in my conferences at the end, I ask someone to come in stage with me and I tell them you know what we'll be talking. And then at one point I would share in an energy with you. I want to tell you when I do that and what kind of energy it is. And then at the end, you would just tell me the energy you felt. It is incredible because every time the person say's you know what it was designer citizen after this energy, and then I take you have a small piece of paper in my, uh, in my my jeans. I just take it and show to the origins, and that's always the same energy that the person said. So it means that you can You can share energy with people. So if you want someone to like you, if you want someone to have good feelings toward you, feel good feelings first and then shared out with you with you through the person, you you feel the feeling. First you connect with your the person with the eye contact, and then you imagine that the energy is going through. You just imagine so you feel the good feelings. First you maintain eye contact and imagine the energy going of here toe to the other person and entering the eyes and going inside the other person's body. He's an advanced technique. As I said, if you want to try that, try that with a partner with a friend. And yet to try to do that, you try to feel an emotion, and then your partner will, uh will tell you their energy that you felt so this kind, like a phone at events technique I would like to share here, but it works really, really well. How you can connect with people is to find commonalities, because if you find commonalities, people will say, Oh my God, we have so much in common and commonalities with will make that they will connect with you faster and better so you can find the commonalities commonalities, For example, if you play the piano and and there are the person plays the piano, if you are, if you went to the same school or if you have the same sports, if you have the same our passions and interest so you shoot, find the commonalities. What you can do is that asked, What are you passionate about? What do you do for fun and then find the passions and interest and then try to find if you have direct commonality on indirect commonality. Direct criminality is, for example, if the person says, Hey, I went to Barcelona, the directs community will be like, Hey, I also went to Barcelona. The indirect commonality will be. I have a friend that went to Barcelona and loved it. You can see here that the communities can be directly between you and the other person or indirectly thing that you have a friend that went that went there and loved it. So your goal. He has tried to find the commonalities as soon as you can when you interact with someone. And if you do that, you will see that the first impression really, really increase because people say, Oh my God, I'm really connecting with this person because imagine you are are you approach someone. You approach someone and you have nothing in common with this person. And then you approach another person and this person shares the same hobbies. This thing interests as you, you will feel a better connection with them. I'm not saying here to fake the connection and to fake the commonalities, but try to find the ones that you have in common. I'm not telling you. Hey, go there and say you love playing tennis if you hate it, I'm just trying to say try to find the commonalities and the commonalities can be your your job, what you do for fun where you traveled but try to find things in common because as human beings, we want to connect them. We want to be with people that are like us. So it's your gold by asking this question, What do you do for fun? What? What do you like doing? And I'm asking these questions because I want them to talk about things they like Rose and and boring stuff. So if you ask that and then if you have commonalities about things that they like to do for fun or the like to do, it will be better, because first you can also do these activities with them. But we will be talking about things that excites you and the other person. So this is what I would like to share his try to find commonalities as soon as you can 22. The Amazing Power of SOCIAL PROOF: If you show that people already like you, the person in front of you has higher transit off liking. Why? Because it's social proof? Because if you, for example, let's say that you want to buy a book on Amazon and there is a book where there is only one review and you don't really know. And there is another book, whether our 500 reviews saying that the book is amazing. Which book are you goingto by the one that has only one review and say that, yeah, it was good or the one that has more than 500 reviews thing that it was amazing. The one that's had 500 reviews, I guess. And I'm I'm 90% sure Why? Because you have social proof you have, like people said, That is a great book. Now how can you use this concept of social proof in social situation instead or, for example, going alone toe somewhere you can go out with friends, so if you go to a networking event instead of arriving alone, you can arrive with colleagues or can arrive with all the friends instead of going to a social situation alone. You go with friends. So this is the first way you can do that? Is that show that you have friends because it means that if your friends mean that you are not someone, it is too creepy. Okay, what you can do Also in the discussion you can share stories where you were with people instead of saying Hey Ah, I think this weekend I would just I would just watch TV and spend the weekend with my cat. You can say, Hey, I am this weekend. I'm going out with friends and then we're going to do that, That that that you can show things that you have a busy life and that you have friends around that so there's something that is really important. I'm not saying to fake it, but I'm saying, like get a great life, get a life where you have friends and then just share that with them is about sharing the fact that you have social proof, you have people around you, so you will see that this is something that is really important. Is that to share these social proof So you can do that by going with friends around you by having people around you. You can do that by also sharing stories off people off friends that you have. So did are the two main concept that you can use social proof. Okay. And also, if someone's ask you Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? Ah, and you feel going out with friends instead of saying just Hey, I'm going out. Hey, I'm going out with friends we're going to describe. Oh, hey, I'm going to these exposition with with a friend, always like with a friend with someone s so that it will have the same effect as if you have 500 reviews on Amazon. 23. CONVERSATION: Stand Out! Statements not Questions: Okay, welcome today for so today we'll discuss about conversations. Okay, what are the basics and how can you stand up? So let's start with statements. Not question. Where do most people do They approached him on, and then they ask the same basic question. Why do you do wear away from How old are you that all the basics and predictable questions . If you do that, if you do what 90% 99% of people are doing you will be like 99% of people. But if you stand out, if you don't ask the questions But instead of asking the basic questions, you turn them into statements, you would stand out. And when I say, stand out, people, we love you for that because when you ask a basic question, they will give you a basic answer. But then when you ask, uh, different question, they will give you a different answer, and you will be different. So what do I mean by that? Let's say that, for example, you want to ask, what do you do? Instead of asking, Hey, what do you do? And then the person say, are working in an hour at an accounting firm instead of that. Instead of asking the question, what do you do? You can say, Hey, um, I'm just guessing I would say you work in Ah, in the crayon creative environment. I would say you are like an artist. Oh, yes, No. The breast and say, Oh, yes. How did you know what you can see? The other person can say, Oh, no, no. But it's interesting. Why did you felt about that? Why do you think about that? You can see here that each changes the direction is not. What do you do? Um, I'm an accountant. What? You can see that. Hey, I was just wondering. You look like someone who it works anywhere. For example, let's say that the person you think that the person is a teacher could say, Hey, um, I'm thinking that you are kind of a teacher because you re like I have the feeling that you like to take care of people and then the person see Oh, yes, I'm a teacher. How do you know? Or the person can say, Uh, no after them psychologies. But that's interesting. What did you say? That and you see how it changes the things that it doesn't really have to be, right. For example, it's not that if the person is an accountant, you must find their council. But it's about sharing something about trying to make a guess. And then you're the person who say yes. No. And I would ask why, and then you can ask pricing. Hey, just know just because you look like that because, um, Mexican example, I like I like the creative environment. If I If I see, for example, that, uh, have someone that is worrying, for example that has, ah, pregnant read church of something that really stands out, I can say, Hey, uh, I'm guessing that you work in something that is really creative. Are you like an entrepreneur or something like that, then depressed in D. C? Yes, I am. How do you know that? Oh, no, I'm not. Why do you say that? They know what? Because you are reading red and you re like I have the impression that you like to stand out. So that's why I'm not thinking about entrepreneurship. And you can see that as long as it comes from good intentions, it can only work. I'm not saying Hey Ah, you like to read because everyone here is wearing black and you're wearing red, and that's bad. I'm not saying that it has always to come from great intentions. So you're trust some of the basic questions into statements and the statements can be true or false. But then you see that the other person will ask, Hey, how did you know or why did you think about that? So this works really well. And actually you will see how you would stand out, because let's have a look at their conversation. We ask three questions. I would say to questions. They say, What do you do? And where are you from? What do you do instead of asking Hey, what do you do? And then hey, way from okay. What do you do? I'm an accountant. Where you from? I'm from Brazil. Instead of that, I can say, Hey, um, I I just have the feeling that you work in something that is really intellectual because I see how I see the way you are addressing. I would say you work with numbers back in the bank or county. Oh, yes. I'm an account of How did you know? No, I'm in a Yes. No, No. Yes, an accountant. You can see two. Yes. Oh, no. And then you ask for example, away from set of asking where you're from. You can ask. You look like someone from South America because of your skin color and you're always smiling. Say, Oh, yes, I know that from a South America or and from a Brazilian from data, you can see that you can transform the questions into statements. So there's something that you should I encourage you to do. If you ask the basic questions, you will get basic results. But I'm sure that if you took this course is really want to improve your first impression. So my suggestion is take the five questions that you ask the most and transform them into statements. You look like I would say you So if you need help, any help you can right out in the discussion board, write down the questions and then the statements that you found and I will help you with that. You really like it If you really want me to help you dress right that in the discussion board and I will help you to create your statements on. Also, if you want follow ups for that, I can also help you for that. So you will see that if you do that, you really, really stand out. Because if you apply already all the advice I gave you if you apply them, you will get outstanding results only if they don't hear you say. You know, Alan, I'm not going to apply any of your devices. But I'm just going to transform the questions into statements. You will see that you will get amazing results just from visitor advice here. 24. How To Change TOPICS Without Being RUDE: don't cut threads because that's rude. Okay, What do I mean by that? Let's say that someone shares with me a story that this person went to Barcelona and then hit a friend there. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So especially sharing a story and then so dispersed them is just showing a story. And then I say, Hey, do you know if it's going to rain tomorrow? What happened here? The person was sharing something, and what I did, I cut the thread and then I started with something else. These fucking rule, because the president wants to is sharing something and instead off taking what the person said toe build the conversation on that. I just got the threat. And then I moved on to something else. So the right way to do that is, for example, if someone is talking about Barcelona on, then you want to talk about the weather, you can just give a little bit of validation, acknowledge the fact that the person shared that with you and then move up. So, for example, of the person shares the story about Barcelona, So story, Chabot said, Oh, that's interesting. Busted on that. I really liked it. Hey, do you know if it's going to rain tomorrow? It's G friends done just looking at the person and they say, Hey, you know, it's going to rain tomorrow so you should just give a little bit of validation. Just say something, comment on it and then you can slightly move away here like I did it with The weather was a little bit aggressive. That could be okay, But just you should really do it more carefully is about giving some validation and slightly moving away instead of immediately cutting the thread and cutting the thread and then ah, moving the conversation. Okay, so if you need any help just right out in the discussion bar and I will be really happy to help you with that. 25. People Will Love You! How To Talk About Them!: Okay. Now it is a really great key that I would like to share with you is talk about them. Most people they love to talk about themselves. They love it. They love to talk about themselves. So when you are starting a conversation with someone, ask them questions so that they can talk about themselves. Now, if you really want to go one step further and you want them to really like you ask them questions that will make them feel positive emotions. So you can ask them questions such as Hey, what do you like to do for fun? Hey, what are you passionate about? Hey, what do you do when you have free time? All the things he s done, the person we start sharing his passions and interests. And then they will associate this positive feelings towards you. Because if they will feel great feelings, then they will associate it to you. Because he, for example, imagine that you approached this person. Then you're approaching. My name is on how you blah, blah blah. And then you talk about the passions and interests that they have. Then you can also share yours, and then you talk about other things. Then if I go and I approached, this person s a hate. Did you enjoy the interaction with this person? We see? Yeah. It was really great. I felt really good. Why? Because when they were talking about their passions and interests, they were feeling this positive emotions in the in the body. Okay, And then they will associate it to you. So these are really powerful thing is ask them questions so that they can talk about themselves. And also ask the question about the passions interests, whether to do for fun and try to find the things that you really like, and then ask them questions. I'm not saying here to fake interest. For example, if someone likes talking about camels and you really don't care about camels, I'm not saying Hey, uh, talk about camels for half an hour saying okay, very talked a little bit about it. And then you can slightly move away the conversation and find something that you are both interesting so that you can maybe connect a little bit better, Okay, But it's important to talk about them, make them talk about themselves, And if you can find things that make them feel really good, they will associate you with yourself. And this is an amazingly powerful technique 26. Psychology of VISUALIZATION + SOCIAL REFERENCES With VISUALIZATION: I and welcome to the fight. So today we discuss about visualization visualization for success. What's really great about our mind and brain is that it can truly see the difference off something that really happened and something that you just imagined. It gets really see the difference so you can fake it in your head and then your brain. We think it's really so. This is really powerful here because you want to increase your first impression so you could simulate it in your head. And then, if you simulate it in your head, your brain will think that was really so that this is the way that you can build references . Positive references for yourself. Now there are two ways you can do that. You can use first positive references, a positive visualization just before going somewhere off approaching someone. So, for example, you are in your car. You can just him and you are going to a networking event or social situation in your care. You can imagine that it's going to go well. You can imagine that you will be approaching someone. You will be, for example, approaching instantly, then saying hi, maintaining eye contact, complimenting someone blah blah blah. You can imagine everything in your head going well. You want to visual design, visualize something that is positive and that has now come That is a success. You don't want to visualize something that is a failure. You want to train your brain to think that you will be successful, because then if you do that, you think that you will be successful and then you go in the social situation, you will be less stress, more confident because you know that you already did that 100 times 1000 times because your brain can't really see the difference. So this is really powerful. So if you are in your car or just before approaching someone, just imagine that is going to go. Well, imagine the indirection. They having a great a great impact. That's what it means that you really like. You there are laughing the spiritual great person you're just beating here. You're until you're positive anticipation. Okay, so this is the first way to do that. The second way is that actually you could leave all your social in directions. You bet. What? Alan, I don't You might want to My bed. Yes, but you can do is that every morning you can say OK for five minutes you will just lay down your bed and then you will visualize social interaction where you are successful. So imagine that you are in the social situation. You want to be that you're approaching people, that you are maintaining eye contact, that you are smiling, that you are touching people that you are. You have the right distance that you are complete meeting someone that you're sharing energy with them. They are laughing and then we extended number and then you go toe one other person. Then you do that. You can imagine everything in your head and then when you will be in real life, your brain will look for references and he will find this positive references because at one point, your brain country, this is the difference between something that really happened and something that didn't happen. So if you do that every morning, you visualize your success so socially you will see that your results We go from here to here in a few days or weeks. It's incredible the power off his realization. Now, if you really wanted to work. Really, really, really well. But you can do is that you must really feel the feelings inside your body. It's not only like yeah, I'm visually. Yeah, okay. A CME successful. Yeah, whatever. First you have to believe it, and you must feel the feelings inside your body so that it will be ingrained in your body. Okay, so you see, that thesis works really well. If you can really ingrained the feeling the emotions in your body when you visualize that I it's something really powerful. I do that a lot. Then you You can also do that with all the things. For example, let's say that you have an exam. You can visualize the fact that after the exam you visualize the moment where you will receive the great and you're succeeded. And then you incorporates this feeling in your body so that when you will go to the exam, you will be less stress because your brain things that he already succeeded. But you are still working toward it. So that's important. But let's go back to the social skills that's important. That visualize was used a visualization just before doing something socially and also in the morning or at night. Imagine that you did it when I started. I just actually, I sat on that chair. It's OK tonight. I want to go to a bar and approach people. So I just sat imaginative people around me. There are people around you here. Then there's this person. Okay. Hey, Heim, And imagining my head. Hey, my name is Alan. How you order great other liking me. That's great. And I got all this positive references in my head and it helped me a lot because when that night I went out to say OK, does the school. I know it's a great environment that I was already here this afternoon. I didn't think you know what? I was already here. Does After what? No, it was in my head. So this works really well. Visualization is great. I would encourage you to do that today. Tonight. Or if it's if in the morning when we are watching this video, just do that and you will see that you will have an impact. Try that visualize for one minute, something that you really want to do today and have a positive income. Uh, outcome. Sorry. And you would see that he would get through great results.