Reignite Yourself: Your Goals, Motivation, Emotions & Stress | Alain Wolf | Skillshare

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Reignite Yourself: Your Goals, Motivation, Emotions & Stress

teacher avatar Alain Wolf, Social Skills Consultant

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

9 Lessons (1h 50m)
    • 1. Introduction

      1:55
    • 2. You'll learn the best ways to be more present in your daily life

      18:13
    • 3. You'll discover how to activate happiness and joy in your life

      13:15
    • 4. You'll learn how to find the goals that are true to you and find purpose again

      21:14
    • 5. Learn how to start taking small actions to rebuild momentum in your life

      11:48
    • 6. Learn how to deal better with your emotions and transform them into positivity

      11:28
    • 7. You'll learn the best ways to be calm and remove stress from your life

      8:35
    • 8. You'll learn the best ways to achieve the things you want in your life

      11:15
    • 9. You'll learn how to let go of the things that don't serve you anymore

      11:58
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About This Class

Would you like to reignite yourself and regain your passion for life?

In this course, I've packed the best techniques to reignite your motivation, passion, goals, energy and excitement in your day to day life!

This is what you will learn:

  • Break the pattern of negative feelings, fears and bad habits
  • Find your motivation again
  • Identify and destroy what's holding you back
  • How to reignite your goals and massive achievement
  • How to deal with stress
  • How to master your emotions
  • How to transform negative emotions into positive ones

Go ahead, enroll in this course if you want to reignite your life, regain passion and excitement!

This course is for people who want to increase the quality of their life and live a life with more passion, excitement, purpose and energy!

Meet Your Teacher

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Alain Wolf

Social Skills Consultant

Teacher

 

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Transcripts

1. Introduction: So hi and welcome to this on a training. I'm really excited to have you here and I would like to say congratulations for taking action, congratulation for enrolling in this program. Because 99 percent of people, they don't take action in life, they don't want to take the light to the next level. They don't want to start. This is how life is like that. I don't feel well. That's, that's how life is. But you know, you say, oh, I want a better life, I want more out of life. I want to rename it myself. And for that reason I say, congratulations and welcome to this online training. So in this course you've learned how you can reunite yourself. It goes from how can become, become a presence to enjoy my life, how you can manage your emotions, how you can deal with stress, how it can be more joyful, more happy. Like we'll discuss a lot of aspects of the, how you can reunite yourself. So before starting, I would like to encourage you to take notes. So I would encourage you to go through the whole training at once. So you go, you watch it and then you take notes on the things that I say and you think, Oh, maybe I could apply that to my life. And you do the exercises, you pause the video and you do the exercises because that's how you will get the results. If you hear something that I say and you say, Oh, you know what, I already know it. So going to watch that section, I wouldn't recommend you to do it because I have a different angle. I I tell it in a different way and maybe that's where you can say, Oh, I finally understood it. And even more powerful, you can even say, Oh, I'm going to apply what I learned. So I, I've built this on a train, is that you should go through the whole course because it's a step-by-step process so that you can reunite yourself. So I'm really excited and I would say, let's start writing like dense jump right in. And let's start with 19 yourself. 2. You'll learn the best ways to be more present in your daily life: Okay, so let's start with presence. What does it mean to be present and why is it important if you want true knight yourself? So presence means that you are in the moment. You're not thinking about the future, you're not thinking about the past. You are just in the moment, you are caught up in the moment you are just leaving your life and you are fully aware of what's going on around you. And if you don't reunite yourself, you should tend to be more present in your everyday life. Because what happens is that nowadays we are not really present with what sits in front of us. We are always on our phones like we are we have we have people that that callers that that text us. We can go online, we can browse the things. We can do so many things. And at the end of the day, how much of the day have you truly captured? And if you want to reunite yourself, it's important that you understand that what there is, but they're only 0s is the present. And if you are aware that by being more present, you can capture more life, you can be more aware, you can experience better emotions because you will be like capturing the beauty around you. If you become aware that being present is the start of transforming yourself, you are going to become a big success. Now let me ask you this question here. Have you ever been in a relationship or talking to someone and then the person must not present at all. You can feel that the person must not listening. And it happened to all of us. It's not a great feeling to experience that. So I would like you to just be present with the people that you talk to, present with life, present with your emotions. So how can you do that? The first key here is that most people, they don't live in the present. They live in the past. They are worried about the past. They are always playing a movie in their head about what happened in the past, how they could have done something differently. They are always beating themselves up for something that they did in the past and they are always focusing on their mistakes, on what's going wrong. And they are living in the past. And something that you should do is that you should understand that the past is the past. The past happened. You don't have any control over the past. You can learn from the past, but you don't have to live there. And if you want to start to ignite in yourself, you will have to start accepting the best. And there'll be a section in discourse that we'll be talking about how you can forgive people, how we can let go of things of your past. And by letting go of your past, you are able to be free and to be more in the present. Now, there are other people who are always worried about the future. We have no idea the futures. And certainly even with this crazy time like it's uncertain, we don't know how the future will be. And they are worried about the future. And the thing that can control what's going to happen to them. The studies that were made and that show that 95 percent of what we worry about never happens. It's all in our head because we are thinking about the future, worrying about the future. Now let me, let me challenge you here. What if instead of worrying about the future, you would be excited about the future. What if instead drilling about the presence, it would simply be present. What if instead of relieving you passed in living there, you just accepted it for what it is. You've passed. Your past, made it made who you are today. Your past made you stronger. Your past was there to give you a gift. So instead of thinking of the past as something negative has something really bad, why don't you think as a gift that it happened for a reason, it happened for your own good, that you were able to see the gift in the past. And you're starting to understand here that in order to be present, It's about letting go of things. It's about worming less. It's about appreciating my life. And if you are more present, you will be able to be more joyful because the natural state of a human being is to be present. And when you are present, you are joyful. You are more of you wants to your outgoing. You have a sense of aliveness in your body. And that's how if you want to reunite yourself just by being present, you are going to draw in that organically to draw upon that energy in your body. And you are going to. Be to feel better emotions. Because when you are present, you trust your faculties. You are at ease with yourself and with others. Magical things happen just because you are present. So if you want to unite yourself, how can you become more present? So I would like to give you some tips on how you can be more present and we'll see later how you can let go of the past and how you can be excited about the future. We'll see that later in the course. First one, meditation. Maybe you have already heard that. But what does it mean to meditate? It? Just that you are going to take a few minutes each day to force yourself to be present. And the more you practice meditation, the more present you will be in your day-to-day life. So I am sure that you have heard that most successful people, they all meditate between 10, 20, 30 minutes a day. Why is that? Because if you practice being in this present moment, it's like a muscle. You go to the gym, You Bu work on your mouse and then it becomes bigger, does the same thing with being present. So it's something that you can improve. So how can you meditate? I would advise you to meditate at least 10 minutes a day. So my suggestion would be to start with 10 minutes a day. You just sit on a chair. You can be in front of a blank wall. You sit on a chair and you just stare at the wall and you breathe deeply. So you can set an alarm clock just before that because you're not worried about how much time it is, but you just set your alarm clock to ten minutes. You sit on your chair and you start breathing. You inhale by the nose and you say by the mouth, I don't want you to try to control your breathing. You're just going to be aware of what's happening. And then you're going to focus on the sensations in your body. You're going to focus on the sensations of your feet, on the ground, of the back, on your chair. You are going to focus on all the sensations just to be more aware of your body, of what's going on in your body. You're going to sense if there are any tensions in your body. Just by trying to be present and putting your focus in your body, you are trying to be more present. And if you start doing that and you see that, it's really awful. Let you cannot be present. That's okay. The more you do it, the more your mind will become, and the more you will be able to be present. And what happens when you are doing that? If there are thoughts that come in your mind, It's completely natural. So what do you do that? And it said psychiatry is that gave me this, this advice. When there is a thought that comes in your mind, you just imagine that there is a cloud passing by and that, that thought goes on the Cloud and it goes away. And it can empty and it can free your mind. And just try that for ten minutes a day and yelling to practice that. And then you can do 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. And you can become more at ease with being present. And there are many ways to meditate. This is my favorite way. If you think, Oh, maybe it's better to do that with the eyes closed to it. The important is that you are present. You try to be present. And maybe it's not perfect at first, but you try and especially important because then you will be able to practice over time. Number two, sensations in your body. If you are having a conversation, if you are living life and you are not present in, you would like to be more present, more calm, more centered. You can focus on the sensations in your body. Because if you're worried, you like you are not, your, your attention is not in your body. So a great way to do that is to focus on the weight of your tongue or on your toes, on the ground or in your shoes, you just focus on that feeling. Focus on the feeling of your toes in your shoes, or the feeling of your tongue in your mouth, or the weight of your tongue. If you do that, try now, you focus on the weight of your tongue. It's really difficult to think about something else. And these are some chips and you can try it right now. These are some things that went chips when you are interacting with someone and you need to be present right now, you use that you take the attention back in yourself and you focus on your sensations. You can also focus on the other person and be fully aware. Because if you're not present, it's because you are thinking about something else. You're thinking maybe about the past, about the future, things, thinking about something that is around you and the other present with the person that is in front of you. So this would be a great tip if you want to become more present. Appreciate more life. When was last time that he just walk down the streets? And you just took time to appreciate the beauty of life. You were walking down the street and you looked at that person can be a man, a woman, a child. And this person smiled at you and you smile back. Or you just appreciated a flower, something that was beautiful. When was the last time that you, that you did that? And you can only do that if you are present. If you are walking down the street and you're on your phone and you're stressed and you're worried about the past or the future. You cannot appreciate life. So the step to reunite yourself is to understanding. By being present. By being present, you can appreciate the beauty of life. And one exercise that I like to challenge you here with is before you go to bed, you write down three things that you thought were beautiful today. And you write them down. And you will see that if you do that, you will start training your brain to appreciate the beauty of life. And you will see that, that by appreciating, appreciating the beauty of life, it will trigger beautiful emotions in your body. Become centered. As I said before, when you are present, you are aligned with your aspirations, with your goals. So how can you become centered? When you're thinking about the present or the past or things that don't belong to you. You are uncentered. It means that one part of you is in the past, one is in the present, or maybe one part of you is a worrying about something that your neighbor said or that your family said. And you are not centered. So a great exercise that you can do that and you can do that even when you are meditating in the morning, is that you imagine that there is a golden line that goes through u. And some people can visualize that, some people can't. It doesn't really matter if you can't, you can't. It just matters that you imagine that you center yourself, that you take all the parts of yourself and you just center them on a line. And if you do that every morning, we noticed that you will be more present, more aligned with what you truly want. You will express yourself more, you'll be less stressed and you will be more yourself. So you just close your eyes in the morning when you're meditating. You can do that. When you're doing that or just after. And you imagine there is a golden line here. And some people will see that the golden line is, or one part of the line is here when parties easier in the sense that they are not centered. And your goal is to take your attention and to put it on this golden line. And just imagine that everything in you is I lining here. And if you do that every morning, you will notice a difference because you will be more centered so you can try it and see if that works for you. Flow, turn off the distractions. So when you are present, you are in what you call the flow. Have you ever been in conversation with one of your friends and time just flew by, you know, like you were in the moment. This is what we call flow. And to be in this flow state. And that can also happen when you are working and then you're working on something and then you look at your at your watch and they say, Oh my God, it was one hour ready? How does it happen? It's because you are focused on something and there are no distractions. So a great way to do it is like to structure your life so that there are times during the day while you're not distracted. It can be when you're talking to your friends, you turn off your phone and like you are talking to your friends, you are fully present when you're working on that report. When you are doing that, you are fully present, you block the distractions. And it's the destruction that will remove you from the flow. And the flow is something that has been proven by many studies. It shows that you are going to be more effective. You are going to like creative energy will. We'll go through you and UV light. You'll be able to access different energies that data available to you. So this flow here means just being present and being uninterrupted. So if you want to be more present, remove the distractions. Tried to be more present. Don't be always with your phones, with your phone in your hand. Try just to appreciate life. You meet a friend, you meet a friend. That's what you do. You're not thinking about your laundry, about everything that went wrong, that they like you are present. You are writing that report. You book like you schedule like one hour to write that report. When I wrote my book, I said, Okay, I'm going to write one hour or one hour and a half per day. I was in a room locked with no internet connection, with no phone. Nothing that could happen, like the word could explore. And I wouldn't know it because I was focused and it wasn't the flow. And that's why I was able to write such a great book because I was in the flow of us in the present. So my question to you is, how could you structure your life so that you can have less distractions? And when you do the task that you want to do, you are 100% focused on the task. And if you do that, you are going to become more alive and you're going to be become more productive and you're going to be happier if you do it. Relax. One of the great way is to just relax. Because if you're not present, it means that you are thinking about something else. You're thinking about your worrying about the present, the past, something that is around you. And sometimes just as to say stop. And you say Relax, relax and relax. And you take all the worries old the fact that you are upset like everything that doesn't put you in a great mood. And it just takes relax and you put everything away. And when you do that, it just gives you peace of mind. It's when you have peace of mind that can be present. So it's a great way here to just remove the negativity that you have in yourself. And we'll see later how you can deal with your emotions, how we can become more positive and all of that. But just that I want to show you here that you can just commence your body and say, Oh, stop. And take all the energy. I say, okay, I'm going to be present. And then you use the advice that I've been given here in this video to just be more presence. So I hope that you liked this video R3 on presence. It's super important. When you become more present, people will start noticing that something changed about you. There was a, there was something that changed, something that is more appealing. You're more attractive. What did you do? Is it your hair has no, It's the energy that you have because when you are present, that's when you can really connect with other people and you can connect with the world. So that's why I'm so excited for you to try presence, being more present because it will transform your life like it transform nine and you are going to have more opportunities, are going to attract more success and help you achieve your dreams. 3. You'll discover how to activate happiness and joy in your life: So now let's talk about happiness. Can, how can you have more happiness, agony, have more joy? How can you have more positive emotions? So the first thing is that if you want to become unhappy, there are things that you must let go. And if you look at your past, maybe there are things that you have to accept. Maybe there are things that you have or people that you have to forgive. And there are things that you have to learn. The past is the past the best happen. And now it's your choice of how you want to dispatch to let impact you. And it's really interesting because you say, Oh my God, I had this terrible thing that happened to me in the past. Now, I have to be angry and my life is over. And when we see when we see like people who had trauma, like the people had the same trauma, some people will say, Oh my God, my life is over and do a live, their life will be destroyed. And some people will say, Oh my God, this was a gift. I don't see it yet, but this was a gift and I want to use like what happened to me in my past to help other people. And then the trauma becomes the gift. For example, in my case, when I was a child, I started, I had no friends. I suffered from sunshine anxiety, had no social life. It was really awful for me literally like I couldn't even say a sentence because I started it was awful. But it was because I was leaving that and say, Oh, I want to have an amazing girlfriend. I wanted to travel the world and meet amazing people. And I cannot do that with my social anxiety and the fact that I started. So I was obsessed and I learned like crazy like everything that could relate to social interaction. I traveled all around the world to meet the world's best experts on communication skills. And I was able to become better. And now I'm able to teach people how they can communicate better with people. And it's one of my strong points because no one has lived my 15 years where I was extreme in for subset, I was obsessed about understanding social interactions. And it became a gift for me. And maybe have lived something that is like more often I would say like maybe like a trauma or something and maybe it's time right now to just accept it. Maybe you can say, Okay, right now I want to accept it, but maybe in a few weeks and a few years you can see how I'm going to accept it. And when you accept what happened, because the fastest the bathroom you accept, you can be more present and it can be happier. It's the same thing with forgiving. So there'll be a section and discourse about forgiving. But maybe there are people that you can forgive right now. And maybe there are things that you can learn from your past so that it doesn't happen again. So as you understand, if you want to become happier, you have to let go of things of the past. And now there are things about the future. Should you be worried about the future? Should, should you be like excited? Should you be like, what? What should you be about the future? You should be excited. It's a choice. You can see the future, how you wanted to. You can see the future or something uncertain that is scary. Or it can be excited about the future and you think that the future has great things for you. You can see here that we have, we have choice about how you want to perceive our past and our future and now, but what about the present? The present, you just depressant. We have seen here that we can talk about the past and about the future. And there are different ways of perceiving that. And actually two tries. You can see the glass half-full or half-empty for your future. You can be excited and think that the future holds amazing things for you. Or you can be scary. You can be anxious. What happens here is how you perceive the future. Do you perceive the future with the glass half-full or half-empty? What about your past? Do you want to forgive, learn, and see that as a learning experience. Rg wants to hold onto the past and let it destroy you. The choice is yours. And if you want to become a happy and more joyful, the thing that you must send the stand is that the choice is yours right now. Happiness is a choice. When I host my light events, I like to illustrate that with green cards and red cards. Right now. I could give you a green card. A green card means that you can see everything more positive, more joyful like life happens for you, not to you. You can see not problems, but you can see opportunities. You don't see failures, you see learning experiences. But I can give you so the red cars, the red card is on the problems, on the failures, on the wrong thing, like everything you have done wrong. You think that people are bad. You think that everything is against you? Yeah, like you're always focused on something negative. You are anxious. You can choose that right now. I have, let's imagine that I have this green card and these red card. Which one do you want to take for life? And the choice is yours. And most people are not aware of the choice. For example, let's illustrate that yesterday, I had dinner with my, with my girlfriend and bef before the generic highlight, something pretty bad that happened to me with with a business partner. And I wasn't I was in a bad mood. And then I told myself, okay, how do I want the experience of the genome should be? Do I want it to be like me just complaining? Or do I want it to be like an amazing time? And I say, okay, I'm going to have this dinner. I'm going to turn off my phone. I turned off my phone. I ideally, I left it in my in my car. And then I went to the dinner and I say, okay, it's my choice right now, I could talk about positive things and have a great time. Or I could just complain and make the experienced horrible. And I choose to just talk about the positive things. So I'm not saying that you should never talk about the negative things and you should only be positive there be pausing. I'm not saying that. Because then when I went home and I sent some e-mails to the business partner to make things right. But I want you to understand that you have the choice to decide if you want to be happy right now. If you want to experience positive emotions and I'm going to show you later how you can really deal with your emotions. But right now I just want to show you that you have choice. You have choice to be happy. So it comes down to what's the rule for happiness? Because what most people have is a rule for happiness that says, when you, then you will be happy. When you have the big house. When you, when you make a million dollars, when you sell your company, when you have everyone that says that you are amazing and blah, blah, blah, and then you can experience happiness. And the issue is that, is that they are delaying happiness. So instead of feeding happiness right now, they have this rule that is not that easily attainable and that isn't the future. Like when are you going to get the house, the million dollars? When are you going to do that? And people delay happiness, and that's why they cannot leave happiness right now. So I have a rule that says that if I'm, if I'm alive, I'm happy. If there is a simple rule though. If I'm alive and happy and whatever, I'm a pretty happy guy. Because I just tell myself that the rule for happiness for me is if I'm happy, if if I'm alive, I'm happy. So I check my life. Yes, I'm happy. Now most people say yeah, Ireland, but if you are experiencing happiness right now because it's what the C-suite it is the feeling. Then you want to be motivated to pursue goals. But that's the opposite because if you have this rule about the future that when you will be happy, right now we are not fitting happiness. So you're not drawing it and you're not taking that emotion as a fuel. Maybe you are feeling stressed and you are working towards the goal with the stress and negative emotions rather than being happy. Because when you're happy you have this powerful emotion. And by Finney, happiness right now, it would be more excited to, to achieve your goals. It's as if you go to the cinema to watch a movie. It doesn't mean that you go to the cinema right now that you don't want to go next week or in a few months. It's the same thing with happiness, like if you expense right now, it doesn't mean that you don't want to achieve anything anymore. So I encourage you to find a rule, like what's the rule for happiness? Take a piece of paper and think about what's your role and how do you uncover that. You just say, I'm happy when. And then you will uncover your rules. And you're like most people, there will be in the future and there will be like, not that easily attainable. So I would like you to get like the theater to have written, for example, unhappy when I will get these amazing car. I'm happy when I get this house. Like the car. And the house is something that you want to be a goal. But to experience happiness, I want you to experience right now. So make goal that is really attainable. Like how can you achieve your goal everyday? To be happy? It's a simple question. Do you want to have an easy rule-like me like Okay, when I am happy because I might have or I'm happy because I opened my eyes or am I happy when I touch my hands? It's a Sepah rule and it's a choice. So I encourage you to find a rule that is, that is easy to find and don't forget to share that in the comments below, I would be really excited to read about your happiness rule. Next one, motivation. If you want to become more happy, you have to do things that you're excited about. You have to do things that you're motivated. You have to do things that makes you feel alive. So let me ask you this question here. What are your passions? What are your interests? What are the things that excites you? And do more of them? And feel free to share them in the comments below. What are the things that you like doing? What are the things that you're passionate about? And maybe what are the things that you did in the past. That's why now you're not doing anymore and you would like to do them again. It can be playing sports. It can be an interest that you had. It can be people that you had in the past. And now he may be, you should try to reconnect with these people. Like, what are the things that excites you? What are the things that make you feel alive? You find them, and then you do more of them. And if you do that, you will become happier. Your choice. Right now it's your choice. You're watching this video because you want to reunite yourself. Do you want to just watch the video and say, Yeah, yeah, Is it was entertaining like alanine is great but you know, with his happiness rule-like, I don't believe it and start destroying what you have learned. I can say no, no, no. I'm going to remember green cards, red colored green card, positivity, seeing the glass, half full, seeing the opportunities instead of the problems. Seeing everything like great around me, or the red card, or problems or anxiety, 0, negative emotions of everything against an hour, everything is wrong. The choice is yours. Which cards do you want to use for your life? Do you want the green one? Or if you want the red one. And I'm not saying that you only use the green one and then you never been in I can never become negative. You never get anxious or upset? Upset. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that most of the time, which country, what do you want, the green one or the red one? The choice is yours. 4. You'll learn how to find the goals that are true to you and find purpose again: Now let's talk about your goals. So if want to reunite yourself, you must have a direction to move forward. You must have a direction in life, like for yourself, for your projects, for your relationship, for the things that you have in your life, for the areas of your life that excites you. So it's important to reunite yourself, enact your goals to reignite your life. So let me give you some advice first and then I'm going to ask you some questions that will make you think and that will get you excited about your goals. And you will be able to uncover some of the goals that you have. The first one is dream big. If you want to reunite yourself. It all starts by wanting the things that you truly want. And in life, sometimes we prefer to Anglo because we say, Oh, I prefer to Anglo like not go from a dream, but I prefer to aim below that. I'm pretty sure that I am going to achieve that target. But the issue is that is that when we achieve that goal, that is not truly our goal. We achieve it. And then we fill no emotion. We feel empty inside. We feel negative emotions. And this is a problem because people try to aim low because they say, oh, I'm going to achieve it. And then I'm going to be an amazing goal setter. And we are going to be an achiever. And the Philadelphian side. Instead, I want you to dream big. I want you to connect with the goals that truly excites you. And how do you know that? Let me give you a secret here. When you think about something that you truly want, you are going to have a rush of energy in your body. And you're going to feel alive, you're going to be excited. And if it's a goal that you think you want and you write it down. And a scale and scale between 0 to 10, you don't feel any emotion. Maybe that's not the right code. Maybe it's a goal that you are writing to please people, obey, or maybe you're trying to aim below just to be sure to achieve it. But that's not the true goal that you want. And it's really amazing when I host the live events and we have goal-setting workshops. And people write the goals. And people then have to read the goals. And when they're reading the goals because it but that's not what you want. Okay, Come on. What do you truly want? And people get shot like, Yeah, this is what I wanted for a few years here, but you sound bored like, what do you truly want to destroy this piece of paper? What do you truly what? I don't know, even what you truly are. Okay. I want to start my own business. I want to start my own business and the filters rush of emotion. And thus, that's what I want for you. Dream big, reconnect with yourself, reconnect with the goals that you truly have because it will never go away. The little voice that is unit saying, Hey, maybe you should follow your dreams and do that. It will never go away. And I'm here to reunite yourself, to wake you up. The dreams that you have are possible and don't give me excuse of Oh, it's too late. I don't have any money. I don't want to hear any of that. Because whatever you want, you can do it. You get what you asked for. And this is really interesting. If you ask for the things that you don't want, this is what you will end up getting. If you say, Oh, I want to stop smoking. If I want to stop smoking, I want to stop smoking or I don't want to be broke. I don't want to be broke out. Don't want to be broke. Your brain cannot see the difference between the positive and the negative. 10th. So it means that if you say don't want to be broke, your brain perceives I want to be broke. So if you say, I don't want to be broke, I don't want to be broke. Your brain says, Oh, I want to be broke. And then you see broke people everywhere. If you say Okay, I don't want to smoke. I don't want to smoke. Smoke. And then you excited about smoking because your brain cannot see the difference between the positive and the negative. So instead of saying, Okay, I don't want to be, I don't want to be broke. Say, Oh, I want to make $100 per month with my online business. Tried to use it, the positive instead of saying, Okay, I don't want to be, I don't want to smoke. You can say, oh, I want to be able to run a marathon next year. And some are positive goal and say, Oh, I want to run the marathon, maybe I should stop smoking and it's easier. So you get what you asked for. And in that there is this example that I always use in my life events it, and I always ask this question here. What do you want in life? And people say, Yeah, I want more money. Say, is that a goal that you want? Yeah, I don't I want more money. Okay. Then I take my wallet and I give them five-dollar bill. Congratulations, you got more money. You achieved your goal. Next goal. And people are like, you have it. That's not what I meant. The yellow. What you asked for. So be precise with what you asked for. Like the more precise you can be with the goals, the easier it will be for the universe to give you the opportunities to make that happen. And then you take action, you work towards that goal and you will become a big success. But be careful with what you asked for. I asked for in the positive tense, not in the negative 10th. And also be precise. And if you say Anand, but I don't really know what I want. Like I feel this rush of emotion when you said he'd like dream big, I feel this rush of emotion, but I don't really know yet to say, don't worry, there's just write down the elements that you have, the direction. Let's say that you say, oh, maybe I wanted to work in marketing, but I'm not really sure. Tried to do some marketing work and see if you like it. And then when you get more information, the path will become more clear. And you will have more information later to be more precise. But you must have a direction to move towards, that. You must have a direction to move forward that excites you. And this is what's really important. Now there is the fear of being disappointed are an add-on. Want to aim for my dreams. I don't want to aim for the projects that are truly want because I'm afraid I'm going to be disappointed. And let me tell you that. Do you prefer to try and see what happens and maybe fail? Or do you prefer to fail right away? Because by not pursuing your goals, your true goals, it's kind of a failure. I'm not saying that you are a failure, but I'm trying to motivate you to take action. I'm trying to motivate you to inspire you to say, Hey, maybe I should try it and maybe I should do the things that I truly want. So the fear of the disappointed, it's something that is really strong. And a friend of mine had happened five years ago because I wanted to live in, in, in Brazil. So, um, I told my friend, hey, you know, I'd like, I'm really afraid to go in, to go and live in Brazil because I would have liked to transform my life. I'm going to leave Switzerland where I live and I'm going to go to Brazil. It's a huge leap. But I said it's something I feel I have to do. I feel I have to go there and leave the experiences there. And my fan, Tony Allen, do you want to be the person who has regrets all his life? Or do you want to be the person who tried to go to Brazil and even if it doesn't work, you will be the person who tried to follow his dreams. What kind of person do you want to be? That hit me so hard that I say that I said, Okay, I have to try. And that's why I want to show you that the fear of being disappointed, it's like it's, it's a kind of a protection that we have because we don't want to transform our life, we don't go, we don't want to take risks. So I encourage you to take risks. I encourage you to do the things that you truly want. Oh, this one is amazing. The fear of what people think of you. Ode's one is strong. I don't want to have the goals that are truly want because I'm afraid that my parents would reject me. I'm afraid that my lover, I'm afraid that my friends, we laugh at me. I'm afraid. And let me tell you that it relieves you life like that. At the end of your life, you will have regrets. And something that hit me really hard was when I heard that there was an Australian nurse and her name is Bronny where? And she did a study with people just before they died. And she asked them a simple question. What is your biggest regret in life? And you know what almost all of them said. They said, I regret I didn't have the courage to live a life according to what I truly wanted. But instead, I live the life according to the other people's expectations. And when I read that essay, I'm going to commit right now. No matter what happens. I'm going to live a life true to myself. And when I did that, a lot of things changed. I had to let go of a lot of relationships. A lot of things transformed. But at the end of the day, I'm at ease with myself. I have peace of mind. I have excitement. I'm excited about my life. I'm excited about the things that I do. And this is something that is more valuable to me than trying to please people. And you cannot please people. Let me explain why. We think that we can control the other person. So let's say that we are having an interaction. And I think that I can control how we are going to react. So by thinking that I think that I can control 100% of the interaction, but that's not the case. How much do I control? I controlled 50% of the interaction and you control your other 50 percent. It means that by thinking that I can control that you think is an illusion. I could go out tonight toolbar and compliment or a woman. I have no idea if they if she's going to say, Oh my God, That was nice or go away. I don't have control over that, but I have control on, on how I express myself, had controlled on my dreams, on the things that I truly want. And it's more important to me because I prefer it to be aligned with what I truly want with my dreams. Because then I'm going to attract the right opportunities, the right people, and then going to feel alive. So that's why I encourage you when you are selecting your goals. Don't think about what other people would think of me. If you think about who you are, who you want to become, and the things that you truly want and look for that rush of energy when you are writing things down here of standing out. This one here is really interesting. We don't want to do things that can make us look bad. And this one here is, is, is really, really strong. So as maybe, you know, like when I was a child, I started, I was really shy and I had to transfer myself. So what I did, I did some extreme things socially like I was I was going to a bar and it was going to approach of a group of 10, 15 people of CEOs that while I having this conversation like high-end business people and I would like to take their attention and try to to say things to come up with things like our I was training myself to standing out. And I'm not saying that you should do some things that are that extreme. But I'm telling you that maybe you should be comfortable a little bit by standing out every day. Every day, try to do something that scares you a little bit. Maybe it can be asking for the time. It can be approaching someone on the streets. It can be doing something that scares you a little bit. And when you do that and you see that it's okay to stand out actually, it will become easier to pursue dreams. But when you focus on your dreams, you focus on the things that you truly want. The fears of standing out in the fears of what people think of you will decrease because you are focused on what you truly want. And if people don't like you, people don't like you. There are people who will love you. There are people who will help you. That's life. You cannot please everyone. So this is here, the fear of Danielle, give yourself permission. So I'm going to ask you questions just after that to help you uncover what you want in your life. And I want you to give yourself permission to dream big, to write the things that you truly want, no matter how scary it is, no other, if you'd say, oh, I have no idea hungering to accomplish that. We're not thinking here about the how, the how will come later. First is about the, what the watch you define what you want that excites you and then do or how we start unfolding will start appearing. You will start getting opportunities and it will take massive action towards that goal. And then you will see that the how will start appearing. But Don't tell me. Oh, Alan, I don't know how to do it. I don't want to write it down. No. If it's something that excites you, write it down. So let me ask you this two simple questions here that will reunite your life. What do you want more off? What do you want less off? So let's start with what you want more of. Let me ask you this question here. What are the emotions that you want to experience more? What are the things that you want to have more? The B, it means that who you want to be, what are the personality traits that you want to develop? Who do you want to become more off? And then what are the relationships that you want to have more off? So let's start with number one. Number one is the emotions. What are the emotions that you actually experience more? Is it more happiness? Is it more joy? Is it more positivity? And you should have at least between 35. And then I'm going to show you later in the course how you can experience these emotions on-demand. I'm going to show you how to manage your emotions, how to control your emotions. So right now ask you this question. What are the emotions that you would like to feel more? Is it more positive emotions? Is it, is it being more grateful? Is it a more positive? Is it being more confident? Because confidence is an emotion, successfully is an emotional. So what are the emotions that you would like to feel more in your life? And you think about that. Then, what are the things? What are the things that you want to have more? It can be maybe okay, you want to have a better car. Maybe you wanted to have a better house. Maybe you want to a house. Like what are the things that you want to have in your life? And you can make a list between 357 items. You take a piece of paper and you write down, okay, what are the things I want to have in my life? And you think and you write them down, what are the relationships that I would like to have? What are the kind of relationship that I want more in my life? Okay, I want more positive people. I want people who support me, okay? What are the relationships that I want? What are the kinds of relationships that I want more often my life? And you write them down. Because then when you have written one of the things that you truly want, you can start thinking about the things that are about how you're going to accomplish that. But right now we're just making a list. We are given where we are creating the map for your life. And then the other one was about what are the things like, who do you want to be? What are the personality traits that you want to develop? You want to become more spontaneous. Do you want to become more authentic? Do you want to become more positive? You want to complain less like, like not complained less because we'll see later like the things that you will be removing. But what are the things that you want more off? What are the personality traits that you want more off? And you can think about people around you. Maybe you have someone you admire and this person is a great leader. So okay, oh, maybe I want to become a better leader. Like what are the things like who do you want to become? And you can make a list between 35 items. So this was here for who do you want to? Well, what do you want more off? Now the question is like, what do you want less off? Let's start here with your emotions. What are the emotions that you want to experience less often? Maybe it's being upset, angry, maybe it's being negative. And I'm going to show you later in the course how to stop this negative emotion. But right now, I want you to be aware of the emotions that you want to decrease. So what are the emotions that you would like to feel less? And then we're going to talk about what are the things that you want to remove from your life? What are the things that you have or that you want to transforming? Say, that's not great for my life. I want to get rid of that. It can be things. It can be changing your apartment. It can be moving to another country, whatever it is, what are the things that you want to remove from your life? Then let's talk about the relationships. What are the relationships in your life that you have that are not serving you? You see that there are toxic relationships. There are valid taking relationships. When you meet these people, then you feel bad after that baby because they tried to put you down or they're negative or they're not, they're not aligned with your, your dreams and aspirations anymore. What are the kind of relationship that you should get to read off? Write them down. Even if it's difficult, write them down. And then what are the things in yourself that you want to stop doing? And it's about your personality. Like maybe you say, Oh, I'm always late. And then you want to be more on time. Maybe you say, Oh, I'm always complaining. And you want to stop complaining like, what are the things in yourself that you want to stop doing? And you can make a list between 35 things. And there is a PDF that is just below that, has a guideline for that. So to help you uncover the things that you want more off and the things that you want less off. So there is a PDF just below and effect if you feel comfortable, you can share that in the comment section. I would love to read that. So you ask yourself this question here. What are the things that you want more off? What are the things that you want less off? And you will see through the course. I'm going to show you how you can feel better emotions and how you can stop the negative emotions. I'm going to show you how you can take actions on the things that you want and the things that you can remove. And I'm going to show you also how you can become who you want to become. Because this one here is really important. And then also the relationships. The relationships. It's always difficult because it's a yeah, Allan, I don't want to get rid of that relationship is along friend. And then I will say that it was like an amazing friends in many years ago. But maybe now you too have changed and maybe it's time to let go of that relationship or tried to see this person less often. You can also put space between things so you don't have to change your life like right now and say, Oh, I'm going to get rid of this relationship, Stop complaining, stopped doing Dasa. I'm just going to be aware of that and see what happens. Because our awareness gives you choice. It gives you a choice. If you know that you are complaining too much, it gives you a choice to say, oh, next time that you are complaining, you become aware of that and say, oh, do I want to continue complaining about that? Although it gives you a choice. If you want to become a better leader. And you are walking down the streets and then you see someone that is inspiring me, another person on the phone and say, Wow, that was amazing what this person said. And then you can take some, some things that the person said. And then next time that you are in the same situation, you can see that. So it's about being aware, like what we want here with goal setting is about being aware. I'm going to show you, I'm going to give you the techniques then to achieve your goals and all of that. But awareness gives you choice. 5. Learn how to start taking small actions to rebuild momentum in your life: So now let's talk about what is momentum? Because momentum is something that can really help you achieve your goals faster, because this is the power of momentum. And if you want to reunite your life, reunite yourself, you must understand that. So what is momentum? Momentum is as is, if you have a bowl that is on a mountain and then it rolls down, it will go faster and faster and faster. So it will start getting speed and then it will go, as it goes down. It will go faster and faster and faster. So you will have less efforts like the bowl. We have less effort at the end to go super fast because it, it has gained momentum. And this is something that you can use to achieve your goals. It's a secret that the high achievers have, and that's why that's what I want to share with you. Some great to share you with you here. Eight, advice on how you can use the power of momentum. Number one, the flow is doing something you love. An uninterrupted. If with the example of the ball here that is rolling down, if you stop the bowl, you stop the momentum. And that's why when you start taking action towards you go, I don't want you to stop. Because if you take small actions everyday towards what you want, the first actions will be a little bit uncomfortable. Let's say that for example, you want to lose weight and you not really comfortable with that. But if one day you join a gym, then the next day you go for a walk, then the next day you don't eat dessert. Then the next day you take the stairs. You take the stairs instead of the elevator. It will become easier and easier as you lose weight, it will become easier and easier because you will have gained the power of momentum. So it's something that is really important like when you start, don't stop. And there are people, for example, who launched online business and then they start getting sales. And then they say, Oh, I got some saints. Now it's time to just pause everything and analyze. And what ends up happening is that the stop the momentum. So the goals, they love speed. When you are doing something, take action, take a lot of action because then it will become easier. You have less effort to take these actions because you will be, you will have this power of momentum number to take massive action daily. To cultivate the momentum, momentum, what you must have like action. So take massive action daily. What I encourage you is to take your goals, the goals such as health, and to break them down. Let's say that for example, you want to launch a non-business evolved to have, you want to have more income. Ask yourself this question. How can I take this goal that I have, smash it on the ground, and then take the first piece and execute on that today. With the example of the uname business, it could be 0. Today, I'm going to brainstorm for ideas. Tomorrow. I'm going to call a friend and share this idea with that person. The day after I'm going to buy a domain name that they after, I'm going to buy a business book, that they after I'm going to do that. The thing is that if you take small actions daily, it will be much more powerful than just taking one day of massive action and then doing nothing for a few months. And if you think about how people accomplish the goals, on New Year's Eve, they all say, Oh my God, have this amazing goes, I'm going to stop smoking. I'm going to do that. Then at the end of the year, nothing happened is because they didn't take action on that. Or maybe they tried for a few days and then they gave up and say, Oh, yeah, I was drunk and they don't take action. But if you take small actions daily, you will see the power of building momentum. So I'm asking you this question here. For the next seven days. What are the actions, the small actions that you can take that will get you closer to your dreams. And you can write the comment section below. What are the small actions that you can take? Don't stop, keep doing that because it will become easier if you are taking these small actions. And then it becomes tough. It's like you're worried, like you have doubt, you have things like you have to keep pushing because then it will become easier. It's always like the first actions that you take that become more difficult. But then when you do that, it's the same thing, for example, with recording videos. Right now I think I've recorded more than one hundred, ten hundred videos. So the first one was awful. But doing it over and over again like this morning, I had to set up the studio and everything is. It became it became easier addressing them in front of the camera and natural and I'm talking to you. But it took me like 1000 videos to arrive at that level. So it's, it's about taking small actions like daily lives. You can take daily actions towards your dream. It will become easier because then you are every day taking action rather than than once per week, once per month. Like if if you can only do that once per month, like the actions that you have, okay? But other ways that you could take small actions daily. For example, you want to launch you on business and you have nine to five job. Could you like, listen to audio books in your car? Could you call a friend when you are driving and share business ideas? Like you said, like try to find ways to incorporate the small actions into your day to day life and don't stop. Keep going. You can yes, you can analyze if you are in the right direction, but don't stop. Keep the momentum going. Be bold and courageous to start new things. And this one here is really important. Right now if you want to take your leg to the next level, you want to reunite your life. You must have courage to take actions. You must be bold. You must say, yeah, I want to take my life to the next level, and it all comes down to your comfort zone. The comfort zone is the zone that you have here that contains everything that you are comfortable with. And the things outside of your comfort zones are the things that you're not really comfortable with. And guess what? Your dreams, they're not in your comfort zone because you will have already have them. They are outside of your comfort zone. So that's why I encourage you when you are taking this momentum, you do things every day that makes you a little bit uncomfortable. Why is that? Because if you make things that makes you a little bit uncomfortable every day, you will expand your comfort zone rather than taking one huge action that is really scary, that you can do it. But it's more efficient to take small actions daily because you will experience less stress in your body when you're expanding your comfort zone. And then when you're expanding your comfort zone, at one moment, your dreams will be in your comfort zone because you will have accomplished them. So what are the actions that you could take daily data a little bit uncomfortable. And that could keep that momentum going because you're still taking these actions. But at the same time it makes you a little bit uncomfortable. Be aligned with your dreams and aspirations. Things will go really fast when you are doing the things that you should be doing. And by that I mean, the things that are aligned with who you are, things will go really, really fast. It's as if the universe. We say finally that the desperate that person is doing that and they will throw opportunities that you left and right. And as it's something that it's aligned with you, you, you will be excited to take action. You will want to take action and you will see the opportunities that are, that, are, that are around you. So when you write goals down, always look for the rush of energy that you're experiencing in your body. If that's not the case, maybe tried to change the goal because maybe that's not the best code for you. And when you know that the goal is aligned with what you truly want, you take massive action on that. And you will see the opportunities and it will go really, really, really, really fast. Because I believe that when you aligned with the true purpose, the universe will see that. And we start throwing opportunities that you, it's as if like, this is what is your goal. And you are living a life that you are not aligned with, okay, So it means that you are here. And when you transform your goal and you put them together, it opens the hole here for the energy, for the opportunities to come. So when you align, what you should be doing with your life, like you got purpose, your destiny, or whatever you want to call it. With your goals. You can see here the hole it is here and the energy can flow through that. And that's how you will get more opportunities and things will go really, really fast. So it's important that you trust the process. You can become a big success. Just be careful of self-sabotage and self-doubt. Because they're played an important role in momentum. It means that it's as if the ball is rolling down the hill. And the momentum could be the wind, could be the rock that would prevent the bowl from gaining speed. And something that could happen is that you start taking these massive action and then 11 day say. But maybe that's not the right thing for me. And it's not that you're not doing the right things, but it's because you start questioning yourself. You start being afraid of the things that you are doing. And when you notice that. Because remember when you are aware, we have more choices. When you notice that it's important that you focus on your dreams. Don't focus on your self-doubt. Self-sabotage just focused on your dreams. Remind yourself of why you're doing that. It's as if you are driving a car, you want to go to the destination. But if you're always looking to the right, to the left, to the right, to the left. And you're looking down, looking at the holes, looking at everything that could go wrong. The low chances that you are going to attain your final destination is the same thing with goal setting. So when you see, when you hear your voice that is hearing in your mind and says, Oh, maybe you should stop. Maybe you're not good enough. It's the moment to really focus on the things that you truly want and remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing. Celebrate your wins. This one is really important to keep the momentum going. Every day that you take a small action, you're going to revolve, reward yourself. You are going to give yourself a pat on the shoulder. And I do that all the time. When I started my business, I took actions daily and every time I did some things, hey, congratulations on. And I did that this morning. I set up the studio and say, congratulations Allen, you did it. And by doing that, we reinforced positively the actions. And what happens if you take action and then reinforced positively, you want to take more action and you want to take more action towards your dream. 6. Learn how to deal better with your emotions and transform them into positivity: So now let's talk about the emotions. So remember earlier in the course, I asked you, what are the emotions that you are that you would like to feel more? And what are the emotions that you like to feel less? So now let's talk about how do emotions work and how can you feel certain emotions and OK, How can you get rid of certain emotions? So let's say that you want to experience happiness. How would you do it? Most people say yeah, island, but happiness not something that you can experience. And I'm going to show you how you can do it. If you want to experience an emotion, there are three things that you must do. First, you must put your attention on things that will trigger that emotion. You must use your body to feel the motion. And then you must tell yourself things that will give you that emotion. Let me explain you here. Let's say that you want to be happier. Right now. I could close my eyes and focus on the memory that makes me happy. So the question would be like, what makes you happy right now? So I could close my eyes right now and focus on an emotion that makes me happy. And if you focus on any emotion and memory that makes you happy, guess what? You will feel the emotion of happiness. And that's why I said you focus, you put your attention on a memory or on something that will give you that emotion. And at the same time, you allow your body to feel that emotion of happiness. And then you tell yourself things that are related to the emotion. So right now, I close my eyes, I focus on something that makes me happy. I feel the emotions. I allow my body to feel the emotions and I tell myself, oh, it's amazing or it was an amazing time. Oh my god, it's awesome. Oh, yeah. And you can see I'm happy right now. And in a few minutes, I'm happy. I'm happy right now. Let's say that you want to experience the emotion of success. Okay? I focus on the memory that I have our successful. I allow my body to take the posture of someone who is successful. As you can see, I opened my chest, I put my shortest down. I am breathing heavily on like I'm successful. I allow my body to do that. I'm focusing on something that makes me successful. I have a memory in my mind that makes you successful. And I'm telling you, I'm telling myself I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best and the best. And I'm experienced success right now. And right now I'm experiencing happiness and success. These are great emotions, experienced anything. And you can, that, you can do that with every motion. And the secret is, you can also do that with negative emotion. Let's say that I want to be stressed right now, or upset or angry. I just put my attention on our memory on things they can be in the future That makes me angry. As you can see, my body language changed. I can more tensed and attend myself. Or he, he is Datta. I'm going to say this insulin here, but I'm telling myself, omega, this person is awful and I'm upset right now. Okay. I'm upset. It just because I controlled how like what I put in my intention on how I used my body and what I told myself. And most people do that unconsciously. And by being aware of that, you can decide what are the emotions that you would like to feed more and what are the emotions that you like to feel as? What are the emotions that direct to feed more? If it's positivity, being grateful. You just close your eyes and you ask yourself this question. What are three things that I'm grateful for today? And you put your focus, your attention on the things. You allow your body to feel the emotions and you tell yourself, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I'm experiencing gratitude right now. When you train yourself, you can become in control of your emotions. You can. Let's say that she wants to become more friendly. You can focus on a moment. When you were friendly to someone. And you just close the eyes in focus on that moment. And you allow yourself to do whatever it needs to do to feel the emotion. And you tell yourself, this was an amazing interaction and are unfriendly, how am I going? How am I, I, am I able to go from upset, too grateful, too friendly, to happy and successful? Is because you master the art of putting your attention on something that will give you that emotion. You master the art of legend. New bodies feel that emotion and you tell yourself the things that you need to tell yourself to feel that emotion. Okay? So what are the things that Can feel less because most people say, Yeah, it's great electrophile happiness. But if you're feeling really bad, what do you have to do? You use the same principle, but you have to be a little bit more stronger, stronger in the sense that if you're experiencing an emotion, a negative emotion that is really intense. And then you say, oh yeah, island told me that just to focus on something happy and then to let my body do it, but it's not working. What you have to do. And it's more, it's more efficient, is that you are going to change how you use your body. Because It's great to focus on something that will give you the emotion. But when you body is tensed, you must just confirm your whole body. So what I mean by that is they're going to jump to shake or to jump in the air, or to do some push ups or to do something like that, that you are crazy like this, something like that. You do something like that and then just changing my emotions or you jump in the air like that and you jump it like you do like 10 or 20 times to change the way you use your body so that your results, it's reset button. You resents the emotion. You, you reset the emotion so that it allows the new a motion to come in. So you do that to change your body or you can even say, Rosh. You just imagine that all these names and emotion, negative emotion that you have in your body. You imagine this emotion then when you say Rosh, we imagine all these emotion going away. Or you can even say relax, relax, relax. And when you say relax, you drop all unique. You drop all the negative emotion to the ground. Relax. As you can see, you have to do things just to change your state. Because when you are feeling upset or something like that, the way you use your body will be tense and will be super-strong. So you must find ways to just destroy this pattern that you have. To destroy the emotion that you feel by resetting your body. And these work really well. So let's say that you are really anxious about the presentation. You see that you're all tense. You say, Maybe I'm just going to relax, move my body around, tried to have a better posture hundreds and close my eyes and focus on, Let's say that you want to be more confident. So I'm going to close my eyes and remember a time when I was confident. Okay. I can see the confidence here. I just have to adjust my posture Okay. Up and my chest. Put my shoulders down. Okay. My I'm feeling I'm starting to feel the emotion of confidence than what was I telling myself? I was telling myself, Oh, you can do it. You ask them you can do is you ask them, you can do it. You ask them, Okay, You can do it. You're awesome. And I'm confident. You can see here like when you're experiencing these emotions, these negative emotions, you must just be aware that you are experiencing them and wanting to change them in by, by change, by wanting to change them. The easiest way is to just change your physiology, change the way that you use your body. And it happened to mean on really extreme cases that I was reading one study that was really sad and upset. It was so strong that I remember I went to the bathroom and I just jumped in the bathroom and I smiled like crazy, I must change my way. I use my body and I was jumping in the bathroom like damage, like slumping and smiling just because I wanted to get rid of that negative emotion. And then I was able to do that. Let's say that you can get rid of the emotion in 20 thirty-seconds. How amazing is that? And I have the tools. So next time that you are filling up satellites, you're feeling down. Try to modify the way that you use your body and focus on something that on the emotion that you want to feel. You're upset, okay? You want to feel happier or you want to feel confident. Remember a memory or time. When you felt confident. Close your eyes and you just move your body and you allow yourself to feel that emotion. And whenever you buy whatever you focus on is what you feel. So when people say, Oh, I don't control my emotions, it just because they don't control what they put your attention on and how they use their body and what they tell themselves. So try to have some fun about that with that. And you can see that if they're less than, if the emotions that you would like to feel less. You can use this strategy here that I shared in this chapter. Or if there are emotions that you have to feel more, you want to be more grateful. Do that in the morning. You want to feel love before you go to, before you go home and just close your eyes and picture your lover doing something that you like. And allow yourself to, allow your body to feel the emotions and tell yourself, oh, I love him, I love her, I love him. Neutrons formula oceans. And you can reunite yourself that way. And I know that maybe you can say, Oh, I love that, That's a lot for me. I get it. But do it like tried today to do one small a motion that you would like to experience. Right now, Abby's happiness, positivity. Close your eyes and think about something positive, allowing your body to fill it. And then tell yourself, Oh, that's amazing, that's amazing or something that comes up. And that is related to the motion that you want to experience. Do that and you will be able to control your emotions. 7. You'll learn the best ways to be calm and remove stress from your life: Now let's talk about stress. Because if you know, if want reunite yourself, you must be aware of your stress level. And if you are too stressed, you may be not be able to take the action that you want or you may not have the quality of life that you truly desire. So first, when we think about stress, it's important that we understand that to are two types of stress. The first type of stress is you are walking down the street and then there is a bus that is coming at your direction. You experienced the kind of stress to move to the side not to be hit by the bus. This is great stress. Or for example, you are walking down the street and then you see a tiger. There are stressed. It's a great stress to protect you. But then there are the kind of stress that is not helping you. For example, you have a presentation to give and you feel stressed, you feel anxious. How can you decrease the stress and how can you make the most out of it? So the first thing that you should understand is that stress and excitement are pretty similar. It means that the work always the same way, but it's only the thing that you focus on and what you tell yourself that triggers the stress or the excitement. For example, you have a presentation to give. If you are stresses because you are focusing on the fact that you may give the presentation, then something can go, can go back and say, Oh my God, I don't have to fail this presentation. But what if instead of saying that, Oh my God, I don't have to fill this presentation. You say always going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome. And you picture yourself giving the presentation, it's going well, or it's going to be awesome. And then you feel excitement rather than a stress. So stress and excitement are really close to each other. So next time that you are feeling stressed, it's because you are telling yourself things that make your stress. And you are focusing on things that make your stress and it's something that you can imagine. For example, you're picturing yourself in your mind, giving that presentation and failing. You have a clear picture of your mind in your mind about the audience saying that the presentation was bad. And that makes your stress. And you think that by doing that, you will protect yourself. Because then you will say, Oh, but if I focus on everything that can go wrong, then if it goes wrong, I can expect it. The thing is that if you focus on these things, there is something called the self-fulfilling prophecy. That means that if you focus on everything going bad, wrong, there are higher chances of it going wrong. So instead that when you experience stress and it's because we're focusing on something even that it's senior own mind that makes you stress and you're telling yourself certain things. You change it to a store and another image. And you tell yourself or the things you are stressed about the presentation. Or it's going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome and you focus yourself giving that presentation and it's working really well. When you're experiencing stress. You know that it's real because it's there. But it's because you have imagined that. It's because in your brain you're focusing on that and you're telling yourself that. Another great way to decrease the stress level is about to think about a worst-case scenario. In that case, here, you are giving, you want to give that presentation and you ask yourselves the question, what's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen that I can fail. I can say stupid things. I can run out of things to say. But what's really the worst that can happen? Yeah, I think that's the worst that can happen. And then the next question is, can you recover from that? Yeah, it won't be really comfortable, but he I think I can recover. And if you just realized that the worst-case scenario, in your mind is not that dangerous, is like you could recover from that. You just become more at ease. Because instead of saying Omega modifies fail this presentation, my life is over, I'm dead. That's not the case. Go to Africa ago like to really like countries that need help and see like how people are dying there. To say, Oh my God, I'm going to die if I if I if I if I fail, it's presentation that's not the case. We tried to amplify the negative outcomes if things can happen. And the thing is that I'm not telling you to focus on the worst-case scenario. I'm just going to to understand that it's a possibility, like a really small one that is really unlikely. And if that happens, you can recover from that. So you become at ease and then you stress a little bit less because you can say out. But while if I succeeded, and then you start focusing on new succeeding and telling yourself great things about the presentation rather than stressing and picturing yourself failing. Okay, so and you can use that I'm using here, the example of the presentation, but you can use that with anything. You are stressed because he has a date. Instead of picturing the person bought board review, you can picture the person excited with you. And instead of telling or instead of saying, Oh my God, I'm too fat them to fight them too fat. You can say, oh, maybe, maybe I'm, I'm, I'm the one. Or maybe he's the one or maybe she's the one or maybe I'm the one, or maybe I'm the one or maybe woman to be, try to find ways. And now it's about you to find the recipe that you have to decrease your stress level. In my case, I always focusing on the positive outcomes and I'm going to say it's going to be okay, It's going to be okay, It's going to be okay. That's my recipe for dealing with stress. And now it's up to you to decide which recipe, like it's great for you. And you should come or come up with your own recipes. You can write them down because then when you are stressed, you know what to focus on and you know what to do. And it's really important. Breathe deeply and change the focus. So if the emotion is like you're really, really stressed that you are really anxious. I want you to start changing your body. Standing the way that you use your body. And one great way is to breathe deeply. So you're going to inhale by the nose and excited by the mouth. And you're going to breathe here with your bed. And you're going to do that three times. You're not going to raise the shoulders when you do that. Okay? So you do it and you can see, I'm calm. And you can even close your eyes when you do that. And it's a great way just to calm yourself and then you pick to something positive that's going to happen or something that happened in the past. You just put your focus on something positive and you tell yourself nice things. Because the thing is that sometimes with stress, because we are really harsh with ourselves, we are telling things that, oh my God, you are too fat, you're going to fail. You are not good. And the like, the language that we use with ourselves make a stress. And also we focus on the negative, this negative things that could happen because we think that we can prevent them and by focusing on them, we can decrease them. But it all happens in preparation for that presentation. At the fact that you're not going to run out of things to say happens when you prepare the presentations that you don't run out of things to say. So the more confidence you become with yourself, the less these negative pictures we have. But you can hack this stress level by just focusing on positive pictures, on positive things, positive memories or positive outcomes, and telling yourself positive things. And it will decrease your stress level. 8. You'll learn the best ways to achieve the things you want in your life: Now let's talk about goal achievement. Let's say that you have goals, you have the direction which you want to move towards. And now you ask yourself this question, how should they take action? And this is my secret here. I want you to, instead of saying, Oh my God, have these huge goal, I have no idea how I'm going to do it. You say, what are the baby baby steps that they can take today? Tomorrow, the day after to just gets me closer to the trim that I want. Because if it's a dream that you truly want, the how the plan, maybe you are not aware of it, maybe you don't know what the plan is. And most of the time when you have a goal that truly excites you, you don't know how to do it. When I started this crazy business of traveling around the world and teaching people how they can improve their life and their business. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I didn't know that. The first thing you have to do is to create an online training. And then to get myself known. And I started by baby step in that and that way I was not stressed because if I knew like 10 years ago that I had to do like all of that, I would have been burnt out. But it's by taking the actions that you become another person that is ready to take the next sections. Let me repeat it by taking the actions that should become the new person that you need to become to take the next sections. So when I started 10 years ago, by transforming myself, I became a new person that can take on new challenges and I can, that can take new actions. So right now if you think, Oh my God, I'm not going to accomplish that goal is to huge. I don't know how to do it, is because you are seeing it from the EU that is now. But if you take some actions tomorrow, the day after you become a new person and then that new person is way more likely to be able to take the next actions. So if you give up on your dreams right now, you're giving up on your dreams because you think that the person that you, that you are now is not, is not good enough. And they are not capable of doing that. But by baby, by taking baby steps, you can do it. And what do I mean by Baby steps? You have a goal that you want. Let's say that you want to lose weight. What are the actions can take daily to lose weight? Today? You can go for a walk, tomorrow, can go for a run. The day after you can join a gym. You can the day after you can take the stairs instead of the elevator, elevator. The day after you can order a book on Amazon on how to lose weight. The day after, you can find, you can call your friend and ask to go for a run the day after you can you can order running shoes, so then you have to run. And if he did that over and over again, you are taking massive action. And there is something that is really interesting is that if you take this baby steps here and you're really serious about your goal, you should have a huge commitment. At the beginning. It, for example, as if you throw the backpack over the fence, then you have to figure out a solution on how to take how to take the leg back and you know that you have to go to climb over the fence to get that backpack. And I would like to illustrate that with the story of my first conference. So it happened as far as eight years ago. I was living in Switzerland. And I said, Okay, I want to be able to give a conference on how people can improve their life and on social skills? I had never given a conference. I had no following. He had no idea how to do it, and I stopped myself. I'm going to do that on the other side of the world. I was living in Switzerland and I wanted to do it in Sydney. So I had some friends there and Sydney because I studied six months there to finish my my message, my business master's degree there. So I knew the city was nice and say, if they can host a live event on the other side of the world and get at least five people to come there. It will be a big success. So I can say, okay, first I need the date and say, Whoa, why not my birthday? That would be amazing. So I had the date and then I said, why should I have next Our should have a venue. So I emailed some hotels in Sydney as Hey, I'm going to have this event is going to be like 20 people, like do you have a venue? Yeah. Could you send me the paper, say yeah, sure. And then assign them? I had a date, I had a venue. Then what is the next thing we have to find? How to get people? So I tried some strategies with Facebook ads and it's something that I had no idea what it's worth. But my first time and I remember like one week before, like IFA flew from Switzerland to Australia was our stress that like what's going to happen. And then I remember like, I didn't know like how many people will come up because I knew like how many people bought the tickets and I think we had like 20 to 30 people. And at the end, we had 40 people who showed up. They invited their friends and they came to see like the Swiss guy that came from Switzerland to talk about success and social skills. What I want to illustrate here is that I committed and say, Okay, I'm going to rent the conference room. And then I had to take daily small steps towards that. So for example, if you want to lose weight or if you want to stop smoking, throw the secret pack in the, in the, in the bead. Do it. You have to find something to commit it. What is something that you can do to throw your back back over the fence? If it's something that you truly want. I'm not saying about something that yeah, you may want, but something that you truly want. If you say okay, today I stopped smoking. You take obese cigarette packs, you throw them away. You call a friend and say, Hey, I'm going to stop smoking. If you see me smoking again, I'm going to give you $500. Get some motivation. If you want to lose weight, if you join a gym, you can call a friend and say, Hey, you know what? I want to commit for just next month's first, I'm going to hit the gym at least three times a day, three times a week if I don't do it, Diane, and every time the time at the gym, I'm going to send you a picture on your phone. And if I don't do that, I'm going to give you a $100. Gets some motivation to start taking action. Remember the momentum, the first thing are the most difficult ones. But if you take small steps, daily baby steps towards what you want, it will become easier. And also if you want to fast-track your success, you make a huge commitment at the beginning. And when, when I talked with Grant Calderon with all these big guys, they all make the huge commitments and they have the commitment in time and in money. For example, when Grant codon wanted to be in shape, he said, Okay, I'm going to hire a personal trainer and he's going to show up at my at my house at seven AM. I'm going to pay him and I'm going to sketch that in my calendar. It was done. And then he succeeded and every day he took baby steps towards that. So my question to you is related to the goals that you have. How could you apply this baby steps principle and take small actions towards latrines? Write them down below in the comments section. I would love to know what you small actions are and what you have huge commitment is, and if you write them down, I can also give you ideas, okay, because I will be reading the comments below and I can jump in and I can, I can help you. The other thing I would like to talk about is confidence, because confidence is something that is really important when you are taking action. And this how confidence was. Confidence is about reinforcing yourself positively and showing your brain that you can do that well over and over again. So after you have taken your baby steps daily, you are going to first congratulate yourself. Congratulations. Congratulations Allen. You order that book on how to lose weight, congratulation. And then you are going to ask yourself this question. What did I do? Well, and what can I do better next time? What did I do? Well, the, what did I do? Well here is to reinforce positively the action. It means that if every day at etic an action towards my goal and I asked myself the question, what did I do? Well, and then I say, Oh, I took that action, I did that. The idea that you are reinforcing yourself positively and you are building confidence, confidence towards your dream. And the question that we have here that is, what can I do better next time is here to give you feedback. Because instead of asking yourself, what did I do wrong? Which is a negative framed question that is going to destroy your self confidence. You ask yourself this question, what can I do better next time? And by framing the question that way, you are building confidence and at the same time, you are improving yourself. And this is how we can build confidence to build your dreams. You take this small actions reinforced positively by giving yourself a pat on the shoulder and say, hey, Island, it was amazing. What did I do? Well or to desertion because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you list the reasons, like you list the things that you did well. And then you list the things that maybe you can do better next time and maybe it was perfect. There is nothing to do better next time. And also if you want to have more confidence, you can prepare. It's about having the skills needed for, for that. For example, let's say that you want to launch a new business. There are skills that you need. So by learning the skills that you need for your marketing, sales, or automation, or all the things that you need to, to launch an online business. You will be able to build your confidence because you will have the knowledge. You are confident because you have the skills. And at the same time, you are reinforcing yourself positively over and over again. And that's how we can achieve the things that you want. That's how we can reunite yourself in nature life and take massive action and build the dream that you want. Build the life that you won't become human to become if everyday takes more action and you will cross it positively. And you learn feedback by asking this question, what can I do better next time, you will become a big success and you will get the life that you want. 9. You'll learn how to let go of the things that don't serve you anymore: So now let's talk about letting go and letting go of the past of what happened to you. And it's really an important topic because if you want to reunite yourself, there are some things that you have to let go. So the first I would like to discuss it here, to discuss here is about accepting the past is the past. The past what happened in the past happened? You cannot change what happened, but you can change how you perceive it. So for example, something bad happened to you in the past, something, someone cheated on you, or something bad happened. You can choose right now to see that as something that is unfair. Or you could make B. If you decide to see the gift in that situation, the fact that may be dispersant cheated on you in the past, made you stronger and made you develop something in your personality that you are more aware of now that maybe you can use at your advantage, or that you can become more comfortable for the next relationship. And maybe you learn something about yourself and you transform itself into a better person. And now you can use that for your next relationship. What happened? Happened? And you can accept it. I encourage you to accept it. I'm not saying you that you should accept it. But the more you try to resist what happened to you, the more you are going to feel these negative emotions is by, by accepting what happened, that you can free yourself. And this one here is really important. Because if you think about that, we experience emotions, okay? And when you experience a trauma or when someone do something bad to you, even when someone insults you. We experience emotions in our body. And when it's really strong, the emotions will be stuck in our body. So for example, if you experienced the trauma or something in your past, that, that herd to this emotion is maybe still in your body. So for example, if you are just aware of the emotion, for example, you think about what happened in the past and then you see you feel a tension here in your shoulder. Or it can be here on your chest, or it can be on your belly, or it can be in Lake. It could be anywhere. It means that when you think about that event, you feel where the emotion is. So for example, you feel that it's senior hands. It means that US hands still contain the emotion that you had when you were hurt. So by first accepting it that what happened happened. And then if you want to free yourself from these negative emotions and try to decrease them, you must locate where this does emotion is in your body so you close your eyes, you think about what happened. And then you locate the motion. And then when you locate the emotion, you can start messaging it to try to release the emotion. And by being aware of where the emotion is, it will help you free yourself from that emotion. Because the next time that you will be thinking about that, you know, you will feel that your hand like has something we feel the emotion is in your hand and say, okay, this emotion is my head. Maybe I should let it go. And you try to let go of this emotion. And you try to just let, let it go. Literally, if it's in your chest, you can message it. You can try to just feel positive emotions instead, like when you're feeling negative emotions, you just surprise it and then you feel positive emotions. You tried to make it weaker and say, okay, I got this emotion. I as a goddess emotionally phosphoryl reason like I experienced this trauma, but maybe now it's time to let go. Being aware of where the emotion is in your body, it's becomes easier to let it go. But it all starts with accepting what happened. And I encourage you and you can decide if you want to. But to see the gift in what happened, the gift in the past. What can you learn from that? How can you help people not to experience the same thing? And maybe you can start seeing the gifts instead of the injustice. I'm not saying that what happened to you was wrong or right. I don't know. I'm just saying that you are in you have the focus. You can decide. If you want to see that as a gift or something awful. It's up to you to decide like how do you want to perceive your fast? You Beth, you can learn from your best, and you can use that to empower yourself to become a better person today. And that's what I encourage you to do. Forgive people, family, and friends. If you want to let go of things that your family, friends, or random people did to you in the best. That could be a great. Thing to do. I'm not saying that you have to forgive. Understanding that if you choose to forgive, you could. And the great way to do that is that you can either call the person, say, Hey, I forgive you for doing that. To me. That could be really amazing to do that, or you can do it. Another way is that you write a letter. You write a letter saying, okay, mother, father of friends, I forgive you for doing that to me 10 years ago. And then you write the letter as if you were going to send the letter. But you're not going to send the letter. You're just going to write it because the goal here is to tell what you have to say, is to say what you have to express. You don't control how the other person will react. Remember, you only controlled 50% of the interaction and the other person has their 50 percent. So you can say our forgive you. And then the person doesn't does, doesn't give a fuck. It it can happen or the person can say for what I did nothing to you. You don't know what the person can say. But what's important is that you feel great with yourself. And if I have this situation here, have one of my best friends. He wasn't a really difficult relationship and the other person, the woman like, hurt him like really bad. And after a few years, he has scheduled a meeting with that woman and he said, Listen as just have to tell you some things. I don't really care what you say, but I just have to empty my bag. I just have to say things. And you say, Hey, I forgive you for saying that I forgive you and forgive you and yeah, I'm not expecting anything from you. I just wanted to say that. And when he shared this story with near like, Oh my God, that's, that's really amazing how he did it. But you can also do that with letters. And most people like they don't do it with bad intentions. Some people do it, but most people are, they don't know. They're hurting the person or some people do. That's why I wanted to encourage you to analyze the situation for yourself like other people, family and friends that you could forgive to just become lighter, to become what is with who you are. And maybe it's time, maybe it's not, I don't know your life, but these are the tools that are here. The next one is about forgiving yourself. Maybe there are things that you did in the past that you would like to forgive yourself. And one creative way to do that is to write the letter. So you write the letter, Dear Alan. Dear. My name is I forgive you for that. I forgive you for that. I forgive you for that problem. And then you write down what you want to forgive yourself for. And by doing this exercise here, you will see you will feel a lighter after that. Because it's as if you were talking to yourself. And if you want, you can also read this letter out loud in front of the mirror so that you can see yourself as if you were like saying sorry or like forgiving someone else. And it's even more powerful. But ask yourself this question. Other, some things that you should forgive yourself. And if you do these exercises and you forgive yourself and then you give space for love. Because if you are always focusing on the bad things that happened to you in the past, on the beach, be betrayal, Like all these negative things. There is no place for love. And loving yourself is an amazing thing. Loving yourself and I have a really great exercise for that. Basically. You just put your hands, both hands on your heart. And you just imagine so you close your eyes and you just imagine a pink energy in your heart. And it just imagine that it expands, it expands, it expands, and it expands through your whole body. And as you can see, like my heart is beating faster because I'm just using the energy that I have from my heart to use that energy and put that in my whole body. So this exercise is really great, like I did that in a few minutes right now. But you can do this exercise like even in half an hour. You just feel the energy of your heart going through your body. And that's one great way to love yourself is to use the energy of love that is located here in the heart. And using a moving this energy around in your body. Another great exercise is that you take a piece of paper and you ask yourself this question. Why do I love myself? And as you can see here, the question is framed positively is not, oh, what did I do wrong? No, no, no. It's like, why do I love myself? And you make a list? And that will increase that. And it's by loving yourself that you can love others. And it all starts here. Because you cannot love others if you don't love yourself. And this is something that I understood really young is that love yourself first year is with who you are and love yourself. Because when you love yourself, you have loved to give to others. Because just imagine, just imagine that the love of yourself is like your heart. And if it's empty, you don't have love to give to other people. But if you make it full and you know why you love yourself and you cultivate this energy of love in your life. Then when you meet someone that's right person, it can be even like your husband and wife that you already have, you'll be able to share my love with that person. So this chapter, he was really interesting because it's one that not that many people talk about, but I think it's really important that you understand that you should accept what happened to you and that, and then you have some tools to forgive yourself, forgive others if you choose to. And then some tools to love yourself and to love others.