Reclaim Your Self-Esteem and Confidence Easily | Robert Murphy | Skillshare

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Reclaim Your Self-Esteem and Confidence Easily

teacher avatar Robert Murphy, Health & Well-being Teacher & User

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

23 Lessons (1h 41m)
    • 1. Introduction to the Course

      1:06
    • 2. What is Self Esteem

      3:57
    • 3. Reason 1 - Disqualifying self

      4:34
    • 4. Reason 2 - Thinking about the Negative

      4:10
    • 5. Reason 3 - Allowing Others to Comment on Our Failures

      3:37
    • 6. Reason 4 - Connecting Everything to Self

      4:05
    • 7. Reason 5 - Difficulty in Finding the Way Out

      4:11
    • 8. Living and Appling Principles

      8:14
    • 9. Step 1 Tell your mind, life is what you get now, and not what has happened

      3:12
    • 10. Step 2 connect to your inner self and discover your unique strengths

      4:51
    • 11. Step 3 tell your mind that you too have a purpose of existence

      2:52
    • 12. Step 4 Commit Yourself to Adding to Your Skills and Capabilities

      3:39
    • 13. Step 5 Removing Negative Thoughts When They Come Up

      2:22
    • 14. Step 6 Create a New Reality Using Your Strengths

      2:38
    • 15. Overview of Inner Self Integration Technique

      9:43
    • 16. Differentiate Yourself From Your Mind and the Situation at Hand

      6:07
    • 17. The Inner Self Integration Technique

      5:09
    • 18. Step 1 Halting

      4:31
    • 19. Step 2 Constituting

      3:20
    • 20. Step 3 Integration

      6:16
    • 21. Step 4 Responding

      2:32
    • 22. Steps to Becoming Emotianlly Wise

      5:31
    • 23. The Inner Self Integration Technique (Standalone) and Conclusion

      4:48
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About This Class

Have You Ever Wanted more Confidence and Self-Esteem in life?

What if there was an easy technique that you can use anywhere that only takes a few minutes?

In this course we take an in depth look at what some of factors and issues are that may be limiting your self-esteem and confidence. We also look at what we can do to counteract these things so that life is so much more fulfilling and fun for you.

We look at what our self-esteem actually is, what it means and practical ways that we can maximise it.

Then we also look at the Inner Self Integration Technique.

This is a very simple meditative technique that, once mastered, can be done anywhere so that you can always have the confidence that you desire and want in life. It is one of the fastest ways for creating calm and peace in almost any situation.

This course has the potential to be life changing. So if you are ready to take the next step and life a greater, happier and peaceful life, then what are you waiting for?

Join us inside now and experience what more you can achieve with a calmer outlook on life!

Meet Your Teacher

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Robert Murphy

Health & Well-being Teacher & User

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Transcripts

1. Introduction to the Course: Hello and welcome to reclaiming your self-sustain. I'm going to be your instructor for this course and guide you through how to reclaim your surface. Dame, I'm Robert nervy and I have delved into this world of alternate health and self-empowerment for a little over seven years now. So during this ONE study with neuro linguistic programming, Emotional Freedom Technique, psychosomatic therapies as well as many, many more. But allow me to see beyond what causes low self-esteem and why people believe that they can't be or do enough. In this course, we're going to have a look at the reasons why many of us have low self-esteem and confidence can suffer. And to what we can do about that, how we can live more confidently. So I hope you'll join me for this as we delve into the reasons why we have low self-esteem. 2. What is Self Esteem: And so welcome back. So in this lesson we're going to have a look at a little bit of an overview of that self-esteem. So it can be true that while many of us do suffer with less self-esteem and confidence, no two of us will suffer because of the same reason. Now an important part to note here is whatever it is that's causing it, that's causing this impact. We haven't ourselves and our mind and our spirit and our ability. In some cases, I leave peas real to us. It only exist within our mind. Now this is important to remember though, because it makes us feel valid on that. So the reason I have this low self-esteem is because of this and this is real to me, so my feelings are valid. And this term can be important because there is a reason that you are feeling this way. Rather than people telling you that there are, there, are there is nothing wrong. What you're feeling is a real feeling. So there's no reason to sugarcoat it or sweep it under the rug and just allow that problem to fester away because that's where the real issues come in. Once we leave it and don't do anything about it, but just starts to grow and grow until it plays in their mind and goes around in circles and strengthens and strengthens. And that is ultimately more detrimental than actually believing that we have a problem in the first place is where we have our subconscious belief that we have the problem, that we're trying to focus on it and now it's nothing. We've been through this. We can get through this without actually having any strategies or any realization around what the issue actually is. So if we break down self-esteem or low self-esteem for that matter, What we came up with is low means down or less than, well, the self is talking about you or us in this case. But specifically talking about you. And while steam comes from the word estimate. So if this is true, who is estimating you as low or less than? And who is feeling low because of this estimation? Your answer will be somewhat along the lines of my mind. Estimates myself images low and I feel low. Or dad or whatever word that you want to call it. It's important to know though, that in between these two lines of thinking, there is a gap that you do not understand. This means that there is an involuntary thinking. How subconscious, that makes you think low about yourself. This happens because there is a subconscious conditioning of your mind that makes you think this way without you even realizing it. Now some people and people that you may judge yourself against are able to get out of this way of thinking quite easily. But the fact that you are in this course suggests that you've been stuck in the salt patent for a long time. Now. It comes down to the conditioning of your mind. It comes down to the constant thoughts, beliefs in situations that you've been through and are going through. And because that they are subconscious, these beliefs in these thoughts, we hardly recognize that they're there. And because their subconscious. The more we think these thoughts, the more prevalent they become, and the more we start to see the evidence behind them. So with that, we're now going to have a little bit of a look at some of the most common reasons that would give us low self-esteem and low confidence. So I hope you'll join me for that. 3. Reason 1 - Disqualifying self: Morgan back. So the first real big reason that we have low self confidence or low self-esteem is because we disqualify yourself for all the things that we do. Now this is a critical factor that leads to low self-esteem and confidence. This is where your mind takes you into self-blame and self-doubt. Your mind starts racing around, finds ways to put blame onto you for whatever happens around you to make it those same as your not good enough, and that you haven't done a good enough job with this year. Also constantly comparing yourself to others, or by saying that there are other people out there doing what you would say is better than what you add bank, where it's a better job, or whether they're just doing better in life in general. And we do this even though logically we know that there's no good reason for it, then there's no need to do this to compare ourselves to others. But it doesn't matter what the logical mind wants wherever the subconscious or our feelings are, our beliefs or our conditioning has shown us, shows that we should be compared to these people. And oftentimes in an uncomparable way. Then we started to observe. So get worked up over it. Maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe I've been doing the wrong thing. I've wasted my whole life doing this. I can never amount to anything. Those thoughts come into play and start to undermine your self confidence and self-esteem. So we start to blame ourselves and we start to fill lower about ourselves even more. So it starts his vicious cycle. So we go all the way around this little cycle of self-pity and self doubt and self loathing. And this is really unfair and yourself, in fact, it's because you're constantly doubt yourself, that you're not capable. Now to hear you want a strong mind. You want to be able to believe that you can do anything that you are very, very powerful. Because the more you believe it, and the more you imagine yourself being able to do and crush extraordinary obstacles in your way, the more you'll say the proof that you have. I mean, think about all the stuff that you've done to get to this point. Most of it has been pretty impressive. Most of it, you could have given up, but you have it. You're still here. You're still able to do this. You're still able to get past this as well. But when we're in that negative and even leads to a lack of intellectual capability at that very moment. Get caught up in our thoughts. So just ask yourself, do things only happen in life because of you? Audio others contribute them as well. Sorry, is adjust your fault or are there others and they're influencing what happens as well? The answer is yes. In most cases there are others out there influencing everything that happens as well. The reason that you're suffering with low self-esteem and confidence is because somewhere at some point in time, you believe that all these negative things are happening in just because of you. So you feeling less than others when in reality you are not. Now this is your mind in the mode of self rejection. You think you were inadequate when the reality is you will more than adequate. So imagine this, think of life as a puzzle. All of those pieces, all the steps are needed to complete this puzzle. But it's only because you're looking at the whole entire thing that you see. Bits left unfinished, that you feel life is unfinished or incomplete, or that it's not good enough because it's not a complete whole picture yet. You need to start looking at how much you have done, all the bits that are completed already, all the little images that are done, all the little pieces that are in place rather than still to come. Because the only way that puzzle is going to be complete is when your life is finished. That's it. So why would you want to carry that along y when you want to go experience and putting as many little pieces as you possibly can. And so that is the first real raised for self-doubt is disqualifying yourself for the things that you have already done. Basically thinking that you haven't done enough or you're not good enough, or it isn't a good enough job. It is complete, note is perfect the way it is. So simply reframe that way of thinking to overcome this. First of all, raise it. But in my guys, that's it for this lesson. I will see you in the next one. 4. Reason 2 - Thinking about the Negative: Reason number 2, thinking too much about the negative and our weaknesses. Now when we have low self-esteem is very, very easy for us to think about all the negatives or all the things that we perceive that we've done wrong, as well as our weaknesses. It's almost as if we derive some sort of pleasure from seeking pain on ourselves, from these bad feelings that we generate in our head, now headfirst and then into our body. Your mind sees you as the target. And it seeks to inflict that emotional pain on yourself near the only place at all these negatives or weaknesses exist is in the mind. So you may not be able to or strong enough physically to live something. That's okay. That's something that can be developed to. So we need to look at how we can develop our weaknesses into abstracts. Or at least so they're not as bad as they work. If you're okay with that. Like people who have high self-esteem and confidence, able to admit their weaknesses there and hide away from them. They don't think about them too much. They develop them into a way that they're no longer awakeness. Shot, maybe weaker than their strongest points still. But they're able to utilize that. Learn more, do more around subject to. And the more that you start to see increases in these weaknesses and negativities, the more it puts more confidence in to you being able to do this with whatever it was that you're so worried about. And two, it takes away from the intensity of the thought that these weaknesses, either the negativities, are very real. They seem very real to us all the time because we spend so much time thinking about them. And our brain has trouble determining from what is actually just the thought in our mind and our imagination. And what is actually reality merges those two. So let's say it is lifting that white. We think or we believe, and we know that we can't leave that white. We spent so much time, but have we actually even tried lifting the white? Maybe we try it once on a day that we absolutely felt cramped and wake and we've already done so much during that day that when we went to lift it, we just didn't have enough in your gas tank at that point in time. But then we become so worried about that because I'm so worried about lifting that way. Being able to do a good enough job, not being able to, not being able to not being our two that we run around in the circle is Vishal slip comes back. All the other times we may have lifted similar whites or anything else is disqualified in this comes in and we start just focusing on that weakness. And I mean, this is White example is just one of many. Maybe it's public speaking. There is a time where you just fumbled the words once and that was enough to stop you ever tried to public speak again. It all comes down to how you're going to get that confidence back. A reframe. Remember, all the times you've done something similar where it has been a success. And remember, all the times and you can go find free resources anywhere, everywhere to be able to help you, to be able to shift these weaknesses and develop them into more strengths. And stop thinking about whatever it is. Now know that it's very easy to say. But it comes down to that. If you're able to develop a way that you're able to stop thinking about them so obsessively, you start thinking about them. And they've stopped becoming so real, the intensity of that thought drops away. Here. For this one, gather some evidence that you can do when it is that you're thinking about or you're thinking bear that you can't do and to, to stop thinking about it so obsessively, those are some quite clear. Why is it we can stop thinking constantly about a negativity in our weakness and therefore boosting our confidence and self-esteem. But anyway, guys, that's all I have for this lesson. I'll see you in the next one. 5. Reason 3 - Allowing Others to Comment on Our Failures: Reason number 3, allowing others to come in our values. So this comes about when we allow others to judge us on how we live and let them get away with it. So this is women not assertive enough to be our, stop them all correctly. Which in turn leads to us feeling even worse about ourselves. As they would only say these things if they were true. Now this only happens because we allow it to. It can lead to a whole host of negative situations where we start to believe what they say and take it for gospel. And eventually, when we believe what they say is true, we start to prove them right subconsciously as well. We start to fail at our plans and self-sabotage ourselves to keep going with that bad feeling, those bad emotions that we've let take over. So there must be a reason why they're saying these things, why they're aware, allowing them to say these things to lower our self-esteem. So there must be true. So I'm going to prove them right subconsciously because we believe it to be true. And we start to do whatever that size. So if they start saying, well, you messed up this bit, will continue to mess it up. And we start to question ourselves and trust ourselves even less than we already do. Now you must realize that listening to these comments is detrimental to your self image and your self-esteem. Maybe in some cases they are right. But you need to be able to reframe that and look at it, what you can do in that situation. So also taking smaller steps to gain those little bits of success in that area can help rewrite that person's negative comment. So, in a sense, you start to see yourself in the starter, disbelieve what they'd been signed and you start to prove them wrong. And hey, maybe they just made that comment in passing. So maybe didn't mean that much to them to make that although a journalist or something like that. So by proving them wrong, you're proving yourself right, you putting that trust and back into yourself. Another thing that holds these comments into us is who has said that? So be aware. If it is someone who's really close to us, we tend to believe it more because, why would they lie about us? Most of the time these people have our best interests at heart. So take for instance, if it's apparent of ours, they say something like, Oh, you're always missing out. You're always doing this. Why can't you get that right? And then even as we grow and we become older and wiser, we still believe it to be true subconsciously. One thing we have to realize though, is how much do we actually need that person's input onto our values? So if I were working on these areas of weakness and improving ourselves, we can do what they said that we can't do. And this is a great way to improve your self-confidence and get out from underneath these comments. So basically, don't listen to the noise. You are the only one who's in control of you and your self esteem and what you're good at and what you're allowing yourself to be good at putting my guys, that's it for this one. I will see you in the next lesson. 6. Reason 4 - Connecting Everything to Self: Now looking at Reason number four, we're too busy in connecting everything to self. Now with this, we connecting everything that happens negatively towards herself. In our mind, we have a benchmark of success. So success is right up here. And whatever we do is say that HE, we're not actually doing whatever it is that we consider successful. And everything is influenced entirely by ourselves. So we're not successful, we're not doing a good enough job or we're not doing it well enough, and it's all our fault. The reminder tools and resources that are available to us. We don't have the million-dollar yacht or anything yet, or we're not able to create four, do a good enough job in our everyday lives. So whatever we do isn't good enough. So we start to blame ourselves. I'm the one who's used to assign the one who isn't good enough, isn't skilled enough to do whatever it is I need to be the success. Now this is a very black and white, right or wrong way of thinking. There's no in-between. What we do, maybe good enough to get the job done, but we don't see it that way because it's not perfect. People who don't struggle with this problem have a more open idea of this. So stop thinking about everything as it's either a 100 percent or nothing. And to social media plays a big part in this as well. You see people who have done things that whole, entire lives, posting about their successes and when yours doesn't measure up to that. Because maybe you started about a month ago doing whatever it is that you doing. And it doesn't look like this person who's perfected it to their all their life. You start to think lowly, I've yourself, Let's start to think. Why doesn't mind look like that? If only I could get it to look like that, then it would be a success. Rather than think, I do my best, that's a good enough job. I'm quite happy with the results of this, especially if it's my first go or I haven't been doing it as long. It really comes down to, we need to be a little bit gentle with ourselves and maybe start connecting everything to ourselves. If relationship breaks down as well. If our relationship doesn't look like the lovey dovey ones that we see on TV. Maybe, sorry, I fall entirely. We're not responsible and don't need the a 100 percent of blind because the other party is involved as well. Maybe a sports team didn't do as well because I messed up the sharp iron, pass it to that player. I didn't, I didn't item. And it's also a very selfish way of thinking. If you think about other things, influence your results, your results aren't always going to look picture perfect. But if you get the wing, you get the wind, no matter what it looks like, is a way to start thinking about this. And even if you don't get the wind is still here, you're still alive. So looking at things and removing yourself as a primary or sole cause for whatever value that word is. Another way to overcome this one, which is to say people who Our in this way are in the state are always looking for another reason to blame themselves, to connect themselves to that failure. It goes very much into the last one again, where are our mind is looking at always blaming us. We derive some sort of pleasure from it for some reason. But Omegas, that's another one on this and enough on that. Being able to let go of that, you're not dissolve fault of this. There are other influencing factors as well. Very good. That's all I have for this one. I will see you in the next one. 7. Reason 5 - Difficulty in Finding the Way Out: Reason 5, we have difficulty in finding the y out. So this is where we want to change our self image. We're ready to take that action. We ready to feel better about ourselves. But we struggled to find the why. What are the biggest things get now like as we struggle with the thoughts of not being good enough and his thoughts of not being able to do a good enough job is that we don't actually feel like we have a meaningful existence. Now we will talk more about this in the second part of the course as well. But it can be so hard to overcome these thoughts and believe that there is actually good that we do and that there's good in us. Especially if we've been dealing with this for very, very long time. Now to be able to overcome this, we need the commitment to get out there, to get out of our current rut. We need to actually put in place the action. It's okay to think about it and to want it. But we're actually need to do something about it. We have to really want to change and be committed to that change. It needs to be what we think about rather than all the other negative things from the other reasons that we've had. So to be able to find that play out. How do we go about that? And what does that mean if we have difficulty in finding the way out? Because all of this too is inside of our head. It is, that is all that exists. We keep seeing the evidence of ourselves not doing a good enough job or not being good enough, and failing to have that self-esteem to be able to get out of there. But is it actually real? And that's another part in being able to get the way out of here as well, is realizing what is real, what is all this evidence actually saying? And is it true? So why did do this? Maybe are some other people, maybe look for other resources on how to get out, how to improve your mind. What happens when you're no longer thinking they sought what comes up for you then. And look at other people and other situations that have got out of this and start to push yourself, really push yourself and convince yourself to drive out of this place. Now it's easy enough to say this, but you actually have to do that. So if it is weight issues or about your personal body, look into exercise, looking at changing your diet. Look into ways that you can cover that up too. So maybe work on your personality bit more. How can you be the bright bubbly spark that people want to be around that make people happy. Rather than just focusing on, I've got a few extra pounds on me. I don't like this. This is totally ruining myself image. There are plenty of actors who are carrying a little bit of extra white around that make people laugh, that make people join us or people absolutely love. And you can tell by the way they carry themselves. But they have that self-confidence and self-esteem. And two, when they put their mind to it, they're able to lose all of that. Other people would seeing is that baggage behind them? Because I have the tools and resources available to them to do that one in themselves and to in their support network, which is something else that we're getting into. But it's easy to find a wire when you know how. So. The biggest thing is here to start make those little improvements first. Because little improvements lead to bigger improvements, lead to big improvements. And then we get out of it. But the most important thing is to start and the stop thinking and focusing on the negative part of ourselves. Once you start though, the, one of the most important things is to realize that there will always be problems. There will always be something holding you back or undermining a little bit of your confidence no matter who you are. So just be prepared for that as well. But I guess that's all for this one. I'll see you in the next lesson. 8. Living and Appling Principles: So welcome back to the second part of the course. So in this part we're gonna take a look at how to live and apply the principles to gain more confidence and self-esteem. Now we've had a look at the reasons why you have low self-esteem or may have low self confidence, or that you even doubt your own abilities. And also a very brief look at how to remedy those situations. And we've also explored the relationship between those feelings and their subconscious thoughts, beliefs, and patterns. So to sum it up, mostly it exists in our minds. And not because we are actually less than or incapable. But for far too long, we've been giving away our power to these thoughts, these limiting beliefs. So in this part of the course, we're getting you ready to rescue yourself and move on from that low sense of self, which is nothing manifestation of those negative thoughts. It's important to remember that you cannot change the past. It has happened and there, so instead it's time to focus on the future and the things that you do have influence over the here and now. So I encourage you to have faith and listen to these steps carefully. There will be times where you need to keep your mind silent. Because what we're going on with next needs to be forced into the mind. Now, your mind may fight back. It's natural for it to rebel and fight against these ideas, especially if you've been dealing with this for a very long time. It's like trying to put new programming into an old computer. It just doesn't work to start with, but you can get there and it can work and pay. It may be even more efficient. More is better than what you currently using it because it challenges those old ideas that we've had for so long. But I implore you to just listen and take in and understand everything that is said from now. And there's going to be doubts that arise as well. What I would like you to do is just write them down as they come up and continue to listen to the advice in the audios and videos. These data will be addressed in the course. And we'll be looking at ways to directly influence it and erase it. This is going to lead you to a more harmonious and balanced life and hope you're rich with what you aspire to. So if we are to live confidently, what is confidence? Confidence comes from confining, which is related to fidelity, which means being loyal. That then makes confidence in yourself, meaning being loyal to yourself and confiding in yourself. Now this is the absolute opposite of many of us and our lives. Would you say you were lawyers yourself, that you trust yourself and your intuition and trust your own judgment on things. And then think of the many ways that you're actually disloyalty yourself because you remember only the negatives about yourself. So if a more competence, we need to do the exact opposite. We need to make that conscious effort to acknowledge yourself. Further goodness that there is in what we do. And just AS in general, making it a conscious effort until it becomes more unconscious. Because everything that we say consciously and subconsciously is listening. It's taking notes. So the more that we're consciously thinking about how good we are or how good we're actually doing and performing and being the subconscious listens. And eventually it will start to believe that. And especially when you start rewriting those old programs or disproving those are programs as well. Then we need to take a look at our environment as well. Do we have an encouraging environment? An environment that invites us to grow, that invites us to have this confidence in the first place. This is where we need to start off. Eventually, we'll get to a stage where we don't need the acknowledgment from others. Because we remember that we are good and we know that we are capable. We know that we have the confidence to overcome anything. And that the goodness that we provide benefits our list directly and indirectly as well. So I think if you job, it may be a simple job, but more than likely in some way, it will directly or indirectly benefit others. Even if you don't get to say it. Just take note and the satisfaction that you are doing a good job, that there's a reason for what you're doing, why you're doing it. So we need to keep working on all of this, all of these things that inspired this confidence and self-esteem in US until it becomes effortless, until it becomes just a natural part of our psyche. To remind ourselves that we are good. This one eliminates the need for any other outside influence of positive self-image. So when you start to believe that you are very existence has great value insignificance. And you perceive that significance in yourself. That creates a great sense of trust in your own self. It will start a flow of positive thoughts that you create about yourself. This will help you to gain some more self-respect and confidence when you start to consciously think about. These in turn then subconsciously start to believe in yourself. Now of course, this will all take time. And depending on your level of self-confidence and self-esteem, may take longer than you first believe or what, but keep going, keep doing it, keep striving for that better tomorrow. Celebrate your little successes by doing something to benefit you. So if it's that had been able to talk to people a bit easier to take yourself into a social situation. Nothing too strenuous, but give yourself a little bit of a pat on the back when you've had a good day and you keep your thoughts and check it out yourself. Allow yourself to feel good. This is so very important. I can't stress that enough. Allow yourself to feel good. No matter what comes up after that. As long as you keep your thoughts in check, the end of the day. Take a bit of pride in yourself because it's you showing yourself that you are worthwhile. This helps start to replace those negative thoughts that you had about yourself. As you identify some of the good qualities that you actually have. This breaks that cycle of negativity that was so prevalent in your life before. So really allow yourself to explore the qualities and the strengths that you possess. You have to make a commitment. We'll always keep an optimistic perspective. No matter how absurd or bad things may seem around you, you have to make the conscious choices stop comparing yourself to others because it doesn't matter how much money that they have or how much perceived success that they have. It's about living a life of confidence in yourself and having a sole agenda to create a sense of positivity around those old self confidence issues. Even a person who things might look very minor. But they feel that success and they feel that they had that success, has a high level of confidence in someone who is perceived to be more, perceived to do more perceived a headman. Because maybe they're just not very confident that you start racking up all these little successes. And soon enough, you'll feel more confident than the person with the highest paying job, the nice suits, whatever the case may be for that, because they're still struggling. A person who leaves a self fulfilling life consciously chooses to craft a positive self-image by believing that they are good. And to a person with a high level of confidence, material things don't matter to them. They're just stuff they don't need or the fleshy gadgets or expensive cars and suits and everything else to have that confidence, to boost them up. They don't need that because they're confident and happy with themselves. And that shows through to other people as well. They don't need or the flashy trophies to actually show for it the derive satisfaction from within. So now in these lessons, then we move on to, in this course, we're going to have a look at the steps to understand and create positive self-esteem. So join me for that, and I'll see you in those lessons. 9. Step 1 Tell your mind, life is what you get now, and not what has happened: So step number one. So your mind, life is what you get now and not what has happened. So airlines have a habit of recollecting past events. But in this, that misses out on the most important aspect, which is the present right here. Now, most people's mind swing like a bit of the pendulum between two extremes, either the past or the future. But something that the mind never sees and that we don't pay much attention to is the present. Now, especially if you've got all these thoughts about how bad the future's gonna pay because of how bad the passwords. We don't check in on the president who spent so much time thinking about what has happened and what is already gone, opportunities that we've missed or stuff that didn't go to plan. The good part is that we still have access to the present moment. This present moment is an opportunity to craft and shape your future. But even still however, might assesses that is on our self image on a basis of the past. And then it uses this assessment to find out a direction for the future. A lot of our mind is occupied in planning the future. The best part about this though, is that we can change everything about that. We can execute a different plan for the future. Because the execute those plans, it has to be done right now in this present moment. So think about that. What can you change right now? How can you change your thoughts to create a better future and a better life for yourself. If you allow your mind to keep on that track that you are less than or an adequate, you believe that you will not be able to create any success in the future, we have to put a stop to these patterns. Once we become more confident in our planning and our abilities, our whole future, a whole perception of the future changes. So start thinking of ways that you can change the present. Because regrets about the past will hope no one start planning and thinking of new strategies of what you will do differently if that situation All rise again, where you felt low self-esteem and low self confidence, what would you do differently? And then take those resources and place them into the future situations where that might happen again. But think about it too with no motion attached to it. They think about how badly did or how bad it was or how embarrassing or whatever the case may be. Start looking at it like, okay, I could do this. Go from a to B is what happened, but I'm gonna go a to C. So how can I change that? How can I change that for my Berman? If you go into negative emotions and feelings about the future situations, then that is what you can expect to occur. Show up for you. So start thinking logically about how you would go into these situations differently. Or even lays off to feel excited about the future. With that knowledge you've gained from the past. How can you do it differently? And what more can show up for you? But I guess that is step one, Tojo mind. Life is what you get right now. It's not about what's happened. But that's all for this one goes, I will see you in the next lesson. 10. Step 2 connect to your inner self and discover your unique strengths: Step number 2, connect to your inner self and discover your unique strengths. Now this is an active task, but I want you to do is list dan your strengths on a piece of paper. What are some of the other qualities that others appreciated value, especially if you can't think of them. What do other people compliment you on? Also that you do well. Now your mind's going to try and fight back on this one as well, saying, Are you not that good at this or you're not as good as someone else. Animator, I can tell you that you have no strong points, all good traits. But really think about it. Really think about what it is i2 humble. In that case. Maybe you're good at your job. Maybe you were just really kind with everybody. There's always good parts. Now you're aiming for about 10 different things on this list, ten different strengths that you have. When you then done, I want you to read out those strengths. The strengths can help you create huge success in it. Anything that you do, just remember your primary goal is confidence and positive self-esteem. But the secondary goal is that it will help you in what you're achieving. And then these accomplishments will become evidence of your goodness and your strengths. Once again, it's like one failing the other in a cyclic form. Your accomplishments fed your strengths and your strengths there, your accomplishments. And you get to feel good about it. Let yourself allow yourself once again to feel good about the strikes and what you've accomplished with them. And eventually we'll replace that old cycle of negativity of you focusing on what you weren't good at. But just be warned. If you keep accomplishments as a primary goal of your life, the conference will go away, then your concept of success will be based entirely on those accomplishments. Which can come and go. No accomplishments can really stay forever. No athlete can say at the top of their game forever. No business can hold the top position forever. But the confidence can always be that the competence that you know that you've done a good job, or the inner ear that you can do a good job. The positive self-esteem will be there if you keep yourself confident by always writing down a strengths and reminding yourself of them, just believe that your inner self is aware of them. Then as you braid days often and regularly, notice what's interfering with it. Notice what's interfering of your thoughts as you read out the strengths. What's stopping you from believing in them? Your subconscious will bring these things out to the conscious mind. You become aware of what is holding you back. Or it's stopping that confidence. And this can be anything at all. Maybe it's your writing skills and our minor terrible. But it's something I don't care about. I just know that my writing is terrible because I try and run too fast, can actively then go and improve that as well. There may be aspects of your personality. Maybe you hate your life. Maybe you think that you're too shy or you too blunt with people. And these are all things that you can work on that you can take from weaknesses to strikes. And then to just keep reminding yourself of the strikes. Like Yeah, Even though my writing sucks, I'm able to do so much more. And who though he uses pen and paper now and he does. Now the most important thing here too is do not compare yourself to anyone. So if you've got some strengths, let's say you're really good at your job, but John is so much better. Don't compare yourself to that. You're really good at your job. Full stop. Because that is where your strengths and that is all that you need to know. Shop. One day, John might fall off the grid. He might just absolutely blow at one day and then you'll be better than him. But he's still really good at his job or whatever the case may be, everybody else is on their own journey and nobody impacts your journey. There are no two journeys that will end up design. So stop comparing yourself to others. Your journey has its own timeframe, while others have there as well. And it may take longer than others, but really who cares? Or we've got as time, all we've got is this present moment. Your positive self-esteem is about a positive experience through this journey, in this journey. But I guess that is step number 2. So read your strengths very often. Remind yourself of them before you go to bed, when you wake up, anytime you doing that job. But Omegas, That's it for this lesson. I will see you in the next one. 11. Step 3 tell your mind that you too have a purpose of existence: Step number 3, tell your mind that you to have a purpose of existence. Just the way that all other things exist on Earth to fulfill a purpose. If you look at all the living and non-living objects around you, you realize that everything exists in this world to fill a purpose. Take for example, your hands. Nature's created this whole body to fulfill a purpose. Whether that be farming, using it, doing little things with our hands, writing, reading, anything at all were created in this way to fill a purpose, to do something to improve the lives of others. Now you need to constantly remind yourself that you've been created for a unique purpose. Now this will help you in taking these next steps. So start to look for your purpose. Start looking for the things that bring you joy as well. And then how you can use those things that give you joy to fulfill a purpose. If you have any trouble with this, just think about what it is that you do and how other people access that. So I myself, I'm a message service. I hope people in pain and they may, my purpose is to relieve them of that pain as well as other emotional therapists as well, hoping to improve their lives. A retail worker packs the shelves so people can eat. They serve that purpose there and to keep the store running and going and turning over a profit, health, maybe even you just make people laugh and smile. That in itself is a fulfilling purpose. I mean, look at people who have made commonly careers out of that. When you feel as though you do have a purpose, you actively go out to improve that and to work on that. And it gives you a sense of pride that you are making that difference and that you aren't doing a job. It can really help give you that self-esteem that you're making a difference, a positive difference in this world. Because when you actively start saying that you are making a difference, everything changes for you. And if you really feel that you don't have any purpose for your existence, there's always something you can do that will allow you to do that. That will allow you to get a purpose. Maybe you do need to change jobs. Maybe you need a volunteer. Maybe you need to start an initiative to clean up around your area. Just even thinking about the little tiny things that you can do makes a big difference. The important thing here though, is to make sure that whatever you do brings joy to you. Never allow yourself just to do it for the benefit of other paper will let other people walk away with it. And if you're not enjoying it, you don't care about the purpose. So make sure you do your enjoy and have fun with it. Have fun with your purpose and finding your purpose. But here it goes, that is step 3. And I'll see you in the next lesson. 12. Step 4 Commit Yourself to Adding to Your Skills and Capabilities: So this brings us to step four. Commit yourself to adding to your skills and capabilities. Commit yourself to improving your skills and your capabilities. For this, connect to your inner self and discover the areas that you think you have to improve on. Don't judge yourself on this either. Don't think, Jeez, I'm so bad at this site, terrible. I can't do anything about it. Now. Just think I got I, for instance, in a new improved my handwriting skills. So I'm going to do that. I'm going to write, I'm going to practice writing neatly and going on with that and be committed to it. The biggest thing there is the commitment to it. Doesn't matter how long it takes. Just commit yourself to becoming better and more fluid. I mean, even a 2% improvement is an improvement. So celebrate. Help yourself, allow yourself to feel good about that. Now it can be the nato actually do more like crafting something or making something, getting better with your hands. Or it can be some sort of educational qualification as well. What can you learn? What more can you learn about the current role that you have or an interesting hobby or something else. It's going to help you resist you through life. And how it could emit a change of looks gets from her hairstyle, maybe dressing some snazzy suits, spoil yourself, are some nice clothes. Or just try something different rather than, I don't know, drab wherever. But the main thing is the more that you take action towards building more positive self-esteem, the quicker and more motivated you will be to continue to develop on those areas and other areas as well. Once you say the success you have in one area, you can then quickly adapt it to another area completely. Because you've got the model, you've got that model of how to improve things. So you can apply to other areas and see vast improvements more easily, more quick in those areas as well. And the more you learn in other areas as well, the more you will learn about yourself and your true capabilities. And as a result, that will start to show up in your attitude and your accomplishments. It may even help you discover your purpose. If you don't think that you're being fulfilled or your purposes, right for you at the moment. Doing something or trying something a bit different on your improving it away. Bring that up to the surface. The main lesson here is don't force yourself. This should be nice, effortless, easy, and fun. This should be something that you want to do because it's more easy to know and defined and look at Ole things when you actually want to do it. So find out what motivates you to improve those areas that need work. How will these areas of your job, how will it help you social life, hell assist you in helping others in their journey. There we go. So that is step for helping yourself are committing yourself to improve in those areas. Now it might just be five minutes a day, it might be 10 minutes, whatever the case may be, or if you really enjoy it, you might go straight into it and spent a whole week in doing whatever it is, improving those skills. But anyway, guys, most important thing is to have fun with all of this. Confident people are more fun and have more fun. Or even how would you be able then to teach someone else on how to improve on that skill that will give you more confidence in that area. But because that's all for this one. And I'll see you in the next lesson. 13. Step 5 Removing Negative Thoughts When They Come Up: Now moving on to step 5, removing negative thoughts when they come up. Now if you've been a negative cycle for a long time, it's quite common for these thoughts that come up, those negative thoughts that you have that yourself. I can't do this. I'm no good at this. I'm no good in general. I can't talk to people. Those I can't I can't or I drank, I won't sort of things come up quite easily. Now this is not. So don't expect your mind just to think positive thoughts all the time. Let those other thoughts come up. Everybody's mind. We'll have negative thoughts at 1 or another. It's just life. Everybody. Now, it's up to you how you deal with that though. That's a difference between someone who has a high level of confidence and someone who doesn't. So from now on, whenever you experience those negative thoughts or feelings of self-care, just have the awareness that it's happening. Allow these negative thoughts and feelings to happen. And when you have that awareness habit that it's happening to you. And the more and more that you're just aware and that you don't buy into these negative thoughts. The quickie a mind will come out of it, coming out through the other side. So it's very beneficial just to be aware and a layer these thoughts to happen. But just watch them happen. Just sit back, look at it in an analytical, logical sort of way. Once you allow them to pass and the cycle becomes complete with that, bring your thoughts back to the positive. Make that conscious choice to think positive thoughts once again. And so that's basically it. Allow yourself to have those thoughts. Think, Okay, I did, this, didn't go to plan. So now I'm having these negative thoughts. That's interesting, that's come up. That is interesting. I'm not buying into what, I'm not getting caught up in the emotion of it. Okay, That happened. So now I know better for next time. Now I can do better next time, Neil, I'm good and baba, baba. Now those sorts to generate back towards the good. But that's it for this one goes nice short simple with this one. Just allow those negative thoughts to come up and just remove themselves. But anyway, I will see you in the next lesson. 14. Step 6 Create a New Reality Using Your Strengths: And the last step, step 6, create a new reality by using your strengths and talents. An amazing amount of confidence is created when you use each of these steps of everyday living towards your higher purpose. Get the best out of yourself and create those small wins. Smile and let the people in your support network join in and sharing these small wins also to requests that your support team helps you and motivate you along the way. Remember, it's all about the journey, not the destination. Everybody is on the rise. Epigenesis. Don't rush to get towards a just destination. Enjoy your time on this journey. So remember your strengths and your talents and think, why. Why is it that you can use them to create that new reality and how work confidently towards this. And you'll find that it's easy to start to create and develop a new reality and a new way of life for yourself. But most importantly, start out small, small little winds lead to bigger wins. Into bigger winds lead to big, small accomplishments though, still add to your self esteem. Because looking at how much I can do in a day, that it's nothing like changing or that big, but it's a start to start. And I did. It could even be just making the bed, making a coffee, making breakfast for someone else. So each small wind has an impact on your conscious and your subconscious mind. Allow yourself to be open and receive all that comes your way. Thinking about all the opportunities that you can have in a day. Thinking about how much positive change that you can actually make an impact. Just in one day makes someone else smile. I'm definitely chalk that up as a win. And think about all the ways that you can strengthen your strikes. When have you got the time to develop days? When can you do it just on the fly? When can you do just that little bit better? Just even 2% better day. And hey, it's better than yesterday was. So add a bit of fun with it too. Remembering that you only have this present moment. But this present moment can do so much for your future. But obey your actual future materialistic, or even just your future self confidence and self-esteem. But anyway, guys, that brings us to the end of this section of the course. And how to be a little bit more confident and living confidently. So with that, I will see you in the next part of the course. 15. Overview of Inner Self Integration Technique: And welcome back. In this part of the course, we're going to take a look at the inner self integration technique. So this will be the start of a journey towards more happiness, joy, and confidence in mind. We are taking this journey to change our outlook in life. So it's perfectly natural. If you feel curious about it or maybe even a little skeptical about this. You are taking a look at some of the little steps and create a little bit of change already. But now, what if we can submit some big change for you? Now? I know personally what it's like to want these changes, but also think and believe that things will never change because I've been there. But using these techniques as well as a whole host of other therapies as well. I had been able to create a life and change for myself for the better. There is more beneficial to me that leads me to more confidence, more joy, and more happiness. And I mean, there are many times where we think that the problem is a lot bigger than what it really is. But the reality of the situation is, most of the time with problem doesn't actually exist in the real world out there. It's all inside our mind. And we rationalize that. And we don't blend these problems that we have on someone or something else. This means we put that person or thing in control of our happiness or herself is staying. Now once that thing goes away or that event happens, only then we feel we can be free of this problem. The truth of the matter is that we have to deal with these issues. No one is going to do it for you. And the problem is hardly going to go away by itself. So why wouldn't you want to be free of those things that are impeding on your happiness and your self-esteem. So what would it be like if you can just the situation and not get triggered are involved. It just is. And it happens out there before you. And your confidence and self-esteem is not shaken or tampered with in any way. You are just totally not affected by that situation anymore. So why do we get triggered a wide do we allow these things to shake out self-esteem and self-confidence? Why are we affected by what happens? It's because of our perceptions. They're based on our past experiences and our beliefs. They make it sink in a certain pattern. This is why you have similar feelings in many situations that show different similarities to that trigger situation. As a father or a mind, as I'm conscious of that trigger. This also Shanks your life is your program to avoid these situations or feelings. So this means that our lives are more good to the way that we think rather than, than what is actually happening out there in front of us. Now this problem is a question that must be solved. We automatically always try to find a solution to the problem. When we can't find a solution inside of ourselves, we'll look for the solution outside of ourselves or what is causing it when there is no solution to be found. And one will start to go around in a loop, making you constantly think of that problem. It can drive you crazy. But the rational part of our mind has to blame something or someone for that problem. This can waste a lot of our time and our energy, and a lot of our active life can be spent worrying about things that shouldn't even be wired about, then the problem starts to become emotional. Now emotion is very normal mechanism that happens in the mind. Emotions depend on the quality of the incident as perceived by the mind. Positive emotions occur when a favorable situation happens, and negative emotions arise when an unfavorable situation happens to us. This is all very subjective on our beliefs and our previous experience with situations. Some people may perceive other situations as good, while others say them as bad, that same situation. This is also how we get triggered by things in people. When we fill her, that emotion is suffering. And this is quite normal in many situations. It really becomes a problem though, when we linger on this emotional suffering for a long time. The good news is that the mind can be conditioned once again to be able to clear away their emotional suffering. This in turn then makes you capable of finding the solution to the present situations. This requires your connectedness to the main objective, which in this case is more confidence and more self-esteem. But hey, a little bit of happiness wouldn't go Australia. We get this by establishing, mastering the practice of their inner self integration technique. And my can make us think less of ourselves, whereas we know we are very capable of surviving the present. We have survived all the way up until this point. What's stopping a scaling further? Yeah, Mine has great capabilities like remembering things, analyzing, comparing, etc. But these capabilities are given to humans so that we can survive much better than other living beings. Now ask yourself. Then are these capabilities really benefiting me though? Ease your mind not using these capabilities against you by thinking negative. And maybe exaggerating the problem and making your judges often the people around you. Logically these judgments are in a negative connotation. Are their minds think short of ourselves or short of others, that they don't quite reach that standard or what we want them to aspire to or ourselves. This is the concept of self-esteem. Have you ever thought about how your mind thinks about you? How does it estimate you as an individual? A large percentage of people have a negative belief about themselves. Believe it or not. They think they cannot handle their problems. This is all in the mind. Life is never going to throw you something that you can't handle, that you can't get through. They might also adds a lot of negative adjectives to define themselves. So some of those most common negative statements of people think about themselves in their mind is, I'm not lucky, I'm not worthy, I'm not perfect. I'm not good enough. Nobody loves me, and so on and so forth. There's your mind. So some of these things, oftentimes you'll find that your mind is always criticizing you. It can always make you feel short of yourself or less than. I've been wondering why your midas critical of you may have started when you're very young and he did something against the wish of your parents. They may have criticized you and said something along the lines of you're wasting time or you're a waste of time, and you can never do things correctly. You're clumsy, whatever the case may be. And then you'd go and do something else later in life and you get results that weren't expected. You might start reading off similar statements. You know, that this isn't your parent's font. That they did this though, because they may have been criticized in the same exact way growing up. Let's just pass them through those generation. So I can inheritance that's been passed down by the mind of the minds of your parents and so on. But our mind has become so efficient though that the moment something is done differently than normal or the way we picture it, it reprimand you by thinking critical of yourself. The big question here is, can the critical mind be stopped? Now the answer is yes. But to do this, you need to listen to these steps and the following very carefully. The problem at hand can get solved very quickly. Only fit as worked on two levels, the inside and the outside. First level of work has to be done inside. When we say inside, we're thinking about building the capability of the mind. And when you have a sense of security and confidence in the mind, the second level can then also be done. Second level has to be done on the circumstances outside. That is doing what is needed. So unfortunately, there's no quick fix. You actually have to do a little bit of work around this as well. For this, you have to identify the actions that have to be taken. So we will be exploring the reasons behind the actions of the present situation. Now naturally during this process, your mind may want to rebel and oppose you. And many times during this, it may try to reject this discovery. You may find it difficult in believing in certain parts of this course. And you may also get stuck in some of the stories of the past. All this is very normal, rest assured. But you need to remember that the ultimate objective of this course is to create a happy, functional life for yourself. For this, you need to remind yourself that to create a situation, you have to adopt a new way of thinking and responding. Only when you think and behave in a new way without getting caught up in the drama of the mind. We'll be able to discover your unique and useful response to the presence situations. So get ready to take these steps toward creating a peaceful mind and therefore enabling your mind to do what is needed. Remember, everybody is bestowed with the ability to create a good life. We're moving into these steps. So get ready for the next steps that will be used to create a more empowered life. So I'll see you in those steps. 16. Differentiate Yourself From Your Mind and the Situation at Hand: Step 1, differentiate yourself from your mind and the situation at hand. The situation you're in right now would more than likely impact anybody in some manner. You I know different. Your mind is full of emotions as of now, but there is a way out. For a few minutes. You have to listen and be in sync with his technique. But before you learn the technique, you have to get a few basics, right? Know that anything that happens in front of you is perceived by the five senses. Sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch. They sensors give information to the brain and the thought is formed in the brain where the mind comes into play. The myelin perceives the situation is good or bad based on past conditioning. So we have this situation that exists and your mind is perceiving it. And also there is you who gets impacted. Think about what your thoughts are happening. Most of us would say that they're happening in our mind. And it may feel as though our minds are going racing and a Y with thoughts all the time. And then on the other hand, we may believe that our mind is not, you know, you exist, but that there is also the mind to know this connection a little bit deeper. Let's try this technique. I want you to sit in a silent and calm place where no one would disturb you for a time. Make yourself nice and comfortable so that you do not have to move your body during this, either lying or sitting. Now, close your eyes and do not open them until the command is given. Now if your eyes closed, what can you say? You may see nothing or just blank or dark. This is just your there is no body, no mind, nobody around, no external disturbances. It can be said that you just exist. And this is now seen in your mind. Now we would like you to say in your mind, I am. I am. I am. I am, I am, I am. And allow yourself to feel the wholeness. And slowly open your eyes. See what this whole world is. Now look at your hands. This is the body. And this body also is. You did not bring his body to the world. But it happened in this world all on its own. And we'll go, whenever it has to go out on a time. This body has a name. It's not your name, but the name given to the body by this world. Even this name is not you. It's the body's name. So the body is the present situation is also, you are not the situation, but the situation is also in the world. And all this keeps happening on a time. And change is like an ongoing, never-ending movie. It all changes. But you will always exist. You always are. Now closing your eyes again. And once again experience that you are saying in your mind, I am, I am, I am, I am. I am, I am. And slowly opening your eyes again and experience existence with your own eyes. See that the world is. But I am, all is. But I am. See that your mind is completely silent as of now. In this exercise, we have used the same mind, which was once so disturbed. To our advantage. See that you are feeling kindness and composure in this present moment. For possibly the first time in a long time, you have used this mind unconditionally. Otherwise, your mind was never in your control and always used to be busy and creating unnecessary patterns of thoughts and feelings, which is to make you feel negative. But by experiencing yourself, your real self, that is your existence. You feel the communists right now. So you've experienced the line where there is you, the existence and there is a wild. So before you move on to the next part of the course, you have to practice this little meditation until it becomes effortless so that it is easy for you to distinguish yourself from your mind and the world. If you practice this technique more frequently, you'll have more control over your mind. And it will behave in the way that you want it to. If you create the communist by connecting to your real self, you'll find that you can do this all the time. Slowly. A stage will come where you will not have to close your eyes to feel this impact. And once you understand all of this, you can take all the benefits from the other parts of the course as well. You will become much more resilient and capable of dealing with the situations in your life. So with this, be happy, be peaceful and keep growing. And I'll see you in the next part of the course. 17. The Inner Self Integration Technique : Now we're moving on to the second part of the self integration technique. In the last part, you learned how to distinguish between yourself and your mind and the situation. This part of the course marks the beginning of a new way of being. Here, we're going to learn how to integrate the life with the inner self. You will learn how to live a life which is not controlled by situations. Instead, you'll be able to live in integration if your inner self, thereby having full control of your mind and your emotional state, the situation. Now, there is a situation which has appeared in the present moment. And there is a mind which interprets that situation. Thinking happens in the mind which makes you experience a feelings or emotions. Now these feelings can be frustration, fear, anxiety, helplessness, or anything at all. And then these feelings force you to act in a particular map. You've learned to act this way. Your actions depend on your feelings. If you feel positive, you respond positively. But if you feel negative, the way you been feeling all this while, your reactions are also going to be negative, it should go without saying. And this negative response from mature respond from, adds to the uncertainty the situation now only was invoked for action from your site can change the situation. So what if you were able to stop the mind from veining so negative? Certainly, there will be peace and you'll be able to get to that space where you can think about that correct response. You can choose the correct steps that are supposed to be taken. For this to occur. Hope is required from your side. If you allow yourself to follow the steps in this procedure, then it is sure that the next few minutes that you'll become happy, peaceful. And when you're happy, be sure that you'll be able to identify the steps toward happy and functional life and therefore overcoming the present situation. And so once again, we want our mind to remain silent so that we can receive this information and just have it fall into the mind. Now the mind may rebel and objects some of it, but your task is to just listen and accept all of that is told. If you find and they'll just delay us up to January except this advice, then you'll be able to quickly understand the actions that you are supposed to do. These actions will lead to harmony imbalance, which is what we aspire to. This learning is being shared with you. It's been developed over years of research and practice, has been derived from the assessment of Slough stories of thousands of people who all came to resolve their issues in life by using this technique. All this learning is divided into four simple steps which constitute the inner self integration technique. Now, each step is based on a respectful fundamental truth. So if you listen carefully to the four truths, you will definitely experience moments of canvas. Now you need to take these fundamental truths very seriously. Because if you do not have an open mind and a clear intent, then they may appear is just me statements. This is the case. Then there is a chance that the mind may reject them even more so and say that they're not practical or applicable in your case. So be open and have that faith that you can get through this, these will work for you. Now these four steps need to be understood one by one. And in this order that we go through it, otherwise, I will make no sense since all these steps together form the inner self integration technique. So seeing them one by one, or just seeing you on their own. It's not gonna make any sense or bring any gainful impact to you. All those who learned this technique, that why that is taught in this course could successfully resolve their life concerns. Now if for any reason that you can't understand any part of this technique is recommend that you go back and listen and watch that aren't once again, in such a case, take some pause and then only go ahead When the next step. Once you understand it. Also, beware that we're listening to any step that the mind may rebel and may not want to believe that part. You need to remember the objective of learning this course is to create a happy functional life. If you follow the steps, your mind will be able to adapt this new way of thinking and behaving. If you do have any doubts, I write them down. Listen to the full course. When you do this, you will see that almost all of your doubts get addressed on their own. So now we're going to start with the self integration technique. Over these next four lessons, we'll look at halting, constituting, integrating, and responding. So I'll say in those lessons. 18. Step 1 Halting: Step 1, hunting. Now, when we say halting, we mean stopping the irrational thinking that happens in the mind. To experience her home. Take note that the first fundamental truth, which is all happens on its own and happens perfectly because of some cores. And just to repeat that one again, all happens on its own and happens perfectly because of some cause. So just think about the billions of incidence which later add to the actions and the smallest events that happened. Even the chair or the bed that you're sitting in this room is because a billions of incidence. Now see all the things in front of you that come up from all the things that exist because of so many prospective reasons. And then there are some reasons behind the raisins and so on. When you watch a movie, there are a series of incidents that constitute a particular scene in that movie. These incidents happened in a flow, one leading to the other, and so on. You need to believe this, to experience it. This is the perfect law of cause and effect. This is applicable and operate in everyone's life. Now for a moment, think about your present problem and ask yourself, hasn't this situation happen on its own? Because of course, your mind will want to say that there are people who are responsible, but even they did not know that it was happening. Otherwise, I would have done something. All these incidents happened through them. The truth is, if they could have avoided it, they wouldn't. But because they could not. So they did not. And so the same goes for you when you're believing that you're responsible for summing, think if I could have avoided it, I would have. But because I didn't know that event was about to happen, I could not. And our minds tend to believe that we have a choice in this. And the suffering is the cause of your mind thinking it over and over and over again of those choices, leaving that we had a choice to change it. Whereas if there was a choice, there will be in a different situation. So let us apply this first truth to the present situation. That all happens on it own. It happens perfectly because of some cause. Now there are reasons behind the things that have happened. Nothing happens in isolation. Their effect is responsible for the present circumstance. It is not only because of view, but because of someone or something, the remains of coinciding situations. In fact, it's possible for even a leaf to move. And it all happens perfectly. When we say perfectly, we're not referring to something being good or bad, just that it's derived from a cause and effect. So take a moment of silence in your mind to see the situation that you're in at this present moment and that it's happening perfectly because of some cause. Think of that cause. Now your mind may start to rebel and not want to find that cause. It's because you want to remain fixated on the incident of that past. So let yourself be silent and think of that cause this first truth will stop that repeating pattern. Now in case you were not able to find the cause behind your present problem. There is another way. Look back on the movie of your life that you have lived. Now it's happened on its own and happen perfectly because of a series of courses. Now for Sr, If into your mind, this will help you move on. So say in your mind again, that everything happens on its own and it happens perfectly because of some cores. So something has caused something for you to feel this way. And once you find that root cause, it may be not so important. Not so serious. Half as bad as the present situation has grown to let it today. But anyway, guys, that is step one, finding the cause of that situation. And just knowing that it happened, it's neither good nor bad. It's just cause and effect. The effect being how you feel or how you're reacting to it. But anyway, guys, that's all for the first lesson. I'll see you in the next video. 19. Step 2 Constituting: Step number 2, constituting. Now constituting means the form. This is our form of life purpose, and meaning of everything that has happened. Now to experience constituting, listen to the second fundamental truth. All that happens is good for me. And I get to know it later. One more time. All that happens is good for me and I get to know it later. Since the mind is stuck in the incident of the past, it does not want to move to see the future. Now because of this, it suffers. Whereas the whole universe is emotion, Nothing stops. Now animals no plan to remain stuck in the past. Even children learned and move on from events. They cry for a while, but finally they move on. Similarly, you need to tell yourself that the situation has occurred on its iron and the situation is going to contribute to the occurrence of the future. Everything in the universe occurs randomly. And for a good consequence. This is the development. Everything is developmental in the universe. Even the present moment is happening to create a development for the future. Think about your present situation in life. Of course, this present situation may not appear favorable until your mind. And it might very well not big. No, because the situation itself is bad. But because your mind wants to quantify qualifiers bad. The reality is the situation exists and other good nor bad it just is. So we suffered just because our mind is not able to accept this. But rather to when am I indulges in thinking in this situation as this and put so much why it was a good amount of our mental energy, which then leads onto our physical energy, which then leads into an airport into the world. And further effects of self-esteem and confidence in ADB able to change the way that your mind perceives this. This can be a tough task I know. And it may happen that you are not able to see the future because your mind is so obsessed with thinking negatively. But this is a conscious task that you need to do. So take a minute of silence and seeing your mind in the present situation that is happening for your good. You need to be conscious and find the good consequences in the future. The good consequence, Can it be a positive change in your personality or anything that will happen because of the present situation. Being aware of the larger purpose behind the present situation will help you to become more positive about the future. And with that, you start to look towards more towards the future and what you can enact now to change that. But I guess that is the second lesson. So start to look towards how this situation can be favorable for your future or how you can change that news, those learnings that you've had from this situation to be more favorable in the future. But with that, I'll see you in the next lesson. 20. Step 3 Integration: Step 3, integration. So integration within our own self to experience integrating. Listen to the fundamental truth I am. And all this is, once again, I am. And all this is. So in this step, you will get to know and connect with your inner self. For this, you have to sit in a calm and silent place where there is no disturbance for the next few minutes. Sitting in a comfortable position so that you do not have to move your body. So whether you're sitting or lying. Now, close your eyes and don't open them until commanded. With your eyes closed, just be aware of what you say. You may see nothing at all, or it may come out as dark or black. Whatever is perfectly fine. This is your, this is your inner self. Here. There is no body, no mind, nobody else, and no situation, but only you. You are just existing. Rather, it can be said that you are in existence. This is who you really are. Now just saying in your mind, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am. I am. Now fear that amnesty. As you slowly now open your eyes, see what this whole world is. Say your head and your body. And know that this body also is, in this situation, is all this keeps happening and gathering. It all changes. But you are not all this. You always exist and you always are. You did not bring this body. But it happened in this world all on its own. And it will go whenever it has to go in it's own time. This body has a name. It is not your name. The name is given to the body by this wild. Also, the present situation is there. But you are not this situation. And this situation also exists in the world similar to the body. All these keeps on happening and changing like an ongoing, never-ending movie. It all changes that you are not all this. And then closing your eyes again, an experience once again that you are repeating. I am. I am. I am. I am, I am, I am. And slowly opening your eyes and experience your existence with your eyes open. See that this world is, but I am this all is. But I am. By doing this practice, she can watch your body, which is not you. You are this inner self. And through this inner self, which is the real you. You can watch your mind, which is also not you. Similarly, you can now understand that you are not your thoughts, you are not your feelings, you are not the situation. When you are connected to you and yourself. You're in a state where you do not need change anything at all. You do not have to change your mind. You do not have to change your thoughts or feelings. You do not even have to change the people on the situations around you. If you look at your life up until now, you can say that it all happened in a set fashion. There were thousands of Sainz that appeared in this movie of your life. Some of those scenes are pleasing to the mind. So I'm pleasing. Sun created confusion and ambiguity, some creative confusion and ambiguity, some creative anger. Some have even created sadness and despair, and others cause surprise and so on. But through this series, one truth that has always prevailed. The eye, that is you, there was always this eye that's always there. Then observed all of these scenes. This eye has experienced all these emotions all the while at the same time, I was there as it does. So you weren't there in a sense, but the real you was always there and nothing ever happened to you. You watched all of these scenes happened in the movie and you saw them go away. This is the ultimate truth that you are. And all that is. And all this keeps on changing, but you always exist. Your existence is not dependent on any circumstance that is around you. So take a moment to just really sit in this moment of peace, this moment of clarity. And as you think about that, Once you understand that, I will see you in the fourth and final step of this process. 21. Step 4 Responding: And say now we move on to step 4. Responding. Responding is a teaching of the adaptive behavior. To experience responding, listen to and forth fundamental truth I need to do when I'm supposed to do and not what my mind wants to do. That one again, I need to do what I'm supposed to do and not what my mind wants to do it. Now when you have complete freedom from your thoughts, you need to do what it's supposed to be done. Now, nature always does what it's supposed to be done. But only the human mind thinks or wants something different than what it's supposed to be done near we suffer because of this. The ultimate solution to the present situation is going to come only when you know what is supposed to be done and apply it and do it. Only when this is done can we really create a better position for you in life? So take a minute of silence and find out what it is you're supposed to do or what it's supposed to be done. If you still have difficulty with knowing what needs to be done, then for awhile, imagine that there was someone else in that same situation. What would that person do or what would they need to do in that situation? Whatever you believe there is the right response for that person and also for yourself, which went done from your side, will definitely bring that change as we aspire to obey. If you're still not able to find the answer, you must believe that it will definitely come to you. That you definitely will find that answer. You definitely will end up knowing what it is that you're supposed to do. So take note of this technique that you've learned today through these four steps. This can change your life. Notice that the same mind, which was so disturbed before, is now calm and composed. And at the same time, you hadn't that much needed clarity. So practices needed in practice often with this technique, I wish you the best going forward with this. Be happy and come out peaceful and keep on growing. And I will see you in the next section. 22. Steps to Becoming Emotianlly Wise: So here are the steps to understanding and becoming emotionally wise. So step one is to distract yourself from the negative situation. Just for a few moments, distance yourself from either the situation or the people who bring you down and can make you feel bad about yourself. Notice you might not be able to cut them off totally. And sometimes it's absolutely impossible, especially if you're living with them or they're very close family members. But until you've solved that larger issue with them, try spending less time with them. Less time as you possibly can. Tell them, that you need a moment to collect your thoughts, note, and respect yourself enough to know that you deserve love and deserved to be treated with respect and kindness. Now if someone does not treat you well, it may be just that they're not aware that they're doing this. This means that your responsibility to take care of yourself as this is your issue. So if that's the case, let them know and just let them know that you need that space. Withdraw yourself from that situation so you can gather your thoughts and come back with that more logical solution. So step two is to take the pledge to be more positive. If you decide to say things in a positive light, then you'll be able to discover the solutions you should have known. These all happens on its own, but at the same time you have a choice to perceive everything in a positive light. Now if you apply the first two fundamental truths in your mind, you will surely perceive things in a more positive light. If you choose to focus on the positive, you become capable of facing everything that has upset you. There will be times where you can not do anything at all to solve a problem. But if you practice your technique well, even in those times, you will be able to come at it with more energy by connecting with your inner self. So allow that situation to be in front of you. And remember that you are not the situation, you are. And you are the self. And the self cannot be impacted by any situation. This will create a sense of calmness in new and thereby piece in the middle of that situation. And then you'll see in that situation starts appearing less impactful for you. And you'll start seeing it for what it really is. And you'll start to see the little bits that you can enact change up rather than being heightened in that time. Instead, 3 is to acknowledge and accept your emotions. Now, emotions can be like an attention seeking child. Give it the needed attention by simply acknowledging the fact that it exists. And then suddenly you can start feeling it fade away. So if you're feeling scared, sad, angry, or anything at all, don't allow yourself to get trapped in these thoughts regarding those people or who was impacting. Instead, keep your focus on acknowledging that emotion. You can do this by saying in your mind, I am feeling this emotion as of now and it's normal to feel it. This helps neutralize the effect in the mind. You stop thinking so irrationally about why you're feeling scared, angry. Whatever the case may be, any negative emotion is a sudden disturbance and the moment that it's acknowledged and accepted, one gets out of it. So with practice, you'll become better at it as well. We have step 4, which is to pick yourself up. When you've established a state of impact from this emotion, you need to bring back the spirit of life once again, do something that energizes you. Once again like the child with a toy when it breaks, they cry and then they're done crying. They begin playing with a toy once again, or they do something else. So call a friend, pick up a book, listen to some good music, watch a movie, or do anything that you like. Lower motion creates the opportunity to occasionally stopping a Maya, the world around you. So good, All park. Go grab a coffee, or simply sit in your garden. What you do is up to you. You need to make your own self confident once again, so that my beam, wearing clothes that make you feel good, changing a bit hairstyle or anything at all, whatever feels right for you, just to give you that pep up again. And lastly, step 5, surround yourself with positive people. So connect to all the people who make you feel really good. It can be anybody from your support system. Having a good support system will help you become emotionally stronger when you have someone to lean on, then you're less likely to go back to the negative emotions. They are, these are the people who can also help you brainstorm the solution for your problem. After all, apart from celebrating success with friends and family, it is wise to also ask them for directions as well to create harmony and peace with your emotions. So those are just some simple steps on how to manage your emotions. Obviously, we want to be feeling good a lot more than that, feeling negative. So master that, but also to allow yourself to withdraw from that emotion, acknowledge it, move on from it. You don't want to be caught up in that heightened state of emotion, especially if you're in the middle of that situation. But anyway, guys, take note with that and practices. And I'll see you in the next and last lesson. 23. The Inner Self Integration Technique (Standalone) and Conclusion: So welcome back. This is our last lesson of this course. So here we're gonna go through the inner self integration technique. So once again, allow yourself to find a calm and silent place where there will be no disturbance for the next few minutes. Sit in that comfortable position. All lie so that you do not have to move your body. Now, close your eyes and do not open them until the command is given. Then we have your eyes closed. Just be aware of what you say. You may see nothing at all, or it may come out as dark or black. This is perfectly fine. This is your, this is your inner self. Here there is no body, there is no mind. There is nobody disturbing you. There is no situation disturbing you at all. But only you. You are just existing. Rather. It can be said that you are in existence. This is who you really are. And now just saying in your mind, I am, I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. Now feel that as you slowly open your eyes now, see what this whole world is. C your head. And this body. Know that this body also is. And what the situation is. All of this keeps happening and going. It all changes. But you are not all this. You always exist and you always are. You did not bring this body to the world. But it happened in this world all on its own. And it will go whenever it has to go. This body has a name. It is not your name. The name is given to this body by the wild. And also that present situation is there. But you are not that situation. The situation also exists in the world similar to the body. All of this keeps happening and changing. Like an ongoing, never-ending movie. It all changes. But you are not all this. Now, closing your eyes once again, an experience, once again that you are. I am I am. I am. I am, I am. I am slowly opening your eyes. Then experience your existence with eyes open. See that this world is, but I am. This all is. And I am. And now see that even the body is running on a time that the air comes into the body and goes out again. You do not need to be quite anxious about the quality of your breath. You just retire and just allow that flirting on its own. So joyfully experienced the communists in your emotions. If you can create peace in this moment, you can surely do this anytime to learn to deal with any emotion. And with this, we bring to close this course. Thank you so much for joining me through this. And remember to practice these techniques and these learnings often. And it will vastly improve the quality of your life, the quality of your confidence, the quality of how you hand or situations. I've been Robert Murphy and I thank you for joining me on this journey and allow yourself to stay peaceful and keep growing. And I will see you in the next course. Bye for now.