Parenting: stop telling, start asking powerful questions | Galina Kalinina | Skillshare

Parenting: stop telling, start asking powerful questions

Galina Kalinina, Parenting Coach & Mentor

Parenting: stop telling, start asking powerful questions

Galina Kalinina, Parenting Coach & Mentor

Play Speed
  • 0.5x
  • 1x (Normal)
  • 1.25x
  • 1.5x
  • 2x
10 Lessons (39m)
    • 1. Welcome to ParentUp Course!

    • 2. Part 1: Great parents ask powerful questions

    • 3. Part 2: The 2 most important questions to ask your kids

    • 4. Part 3: Great parents ask open-ended questions

    • 5. Part 4: Change your ‘Why’ questions

    • 6. Part 5: What’s better than a ‘How’ question?

    • 7. Part 6: Questions for developing a Growth Mindset

    • 8. Part 7: Controlling and leading questions

    • 9. Part 8: How to deal with “I don’t know” and “I can’t”

    • 10. Part 9: Great parents use Incisive Questions

  • --
  • Beginner level
  • Intermediate level
  • Advanced level
  • All levels
  • Beg/Int level
  • Int/Adv level

Community Generated

The level is determined by a majority opinion of students who have reviewed this class. The teacher's recommendation is shown until at least 5 student responses are collected.





About This Class


Whether you are a parent for a toddler or a teenager, this course is meant to help take your parenting communication skills to the new level. This is an intermediate program, you will learn the foundational layers of parenting coaching. If you believe that family is important and worth investment, then you are in the right place and this is course is for you!

In this mini-course parents go to the next level of their communication, they move from Good to Great. And they become great in the most important jobs of their life. 

The lessons provide step-by-step instructions and demonstrations to shift your ‘Telling Mindset’ to a ‘Coaching – Asking Questions’ mindset with your children. Among many techniques, you will learn how even simple modifications to how you ask and phrase your questions can lead to more peace and cooperation with your kids. The course will also shed light on several traditional parenting strategies that are ineffective and do more harm to our kids’ long term than help.

What Will You Learn:

  • The art of asking powerful parenting questions
  • Hear some of the best coaching secrets that will turn you into the coaching parent
  • How to handle 'I can't" and "I don't know"
  • What questions to ask in order to develop GROWTH mindset in your child

The key to the course is practice. It is not enough to know the strategies; you have to apply them in real life!

To help you along with your learning journey, we have put together a companion workbook to use side-by-side your course. Don’t worry, it’s completely optional to use the companion workbook, and you can choose to use any other way and method that works best for you.

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Galina Kalinina

Parenting Coach & Mentor




Hi! I am Galina, founder of ParentUp

When I became a parent, I had no idea what I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to parent. I naturally started remembering how my mum raised me and tried a few things out. It didn't feel right, something was really off that did not agree with me. 

I started searching for answers in other places: I went online, facebook groups, blogs, website etc..  I felt totally overwhelmed by the number of  advice and instructions on how to manage and fix kids.  There was a lot about what parents SHOULD NOT do, but  not much what we WANT to do. 

 I worked for one of the worlds’ largest tech companies, lived and worked across different countries and continents. M... See full profile

Class Ratings

Expectations Met?
  • Exceeded!
  • Yes
  • Somewhat
  • Not really
Reviews Archive

In October 2018, we updated our review system to improve the way we collect feedback. Below are the reviews written before that update.

Your creative journey starts here.

  • Unlimited access to every class
  • Supportive online creative community
  • Learn offline with Skillshare’s app

Why Join Skillshare?

Take award-winning Skillshare Original Classes

Each class has short lessons, hands-on projects

Your membership supports Skillshare teachers

Learn From Anywhere

Take classes on the go with the Skillshare app. Stream or download to watch on the plane, the subway, or wherever you learn best.



1. Welcome to ParentUp Course!: Welcome to the course, balancing, stopped selling. Stop asking questions. In this course, I'm going to share some of the best and claws coaching techniques and strategies that will make your typical parents and day fun and easier. Every single lesson is full of step-by-step instructions, demonstrations, and examples that will help you to shift your from sin and mindset into the coaching asking questions mindset. I will also share a lot of tips and strategies and how you can change your questions and rephrase your questions that will generate by far more peace and cooperation with your children. I will also shed the light on some of the traditional parents and strategists that are in fact ineffective and do more harm than help for our kids. Want CRM, the kids to succeed in this course is to practice. It's not enough to just know the strategies. You have to bring them into your real life and use them every single day. Hi, I'm Alina and I'm the founder of parent up. And I'm a parenting coach, often helping hundreds of parents with a variety of challenges in their parents in daily life. In addition to my professional experience, I have a personal life experience. I've so kids of my own, my son and my daughter. You're going to hear a lot of stories about them in this course. And I'm going to use examples with them to demonstrate how some of this Beslan gloss techniques are working in action. I know even the typical parents in day that might look good, might be a challenge. One day, you might feel like you have must have every fan and you know how to implement the strategy and how to have everything under control. But then the next day, everything goes back to square 0. There's something new that you Burns and life throws at you. And you have no tools and techniques to handle it. So in this course, I'm going to give you some of the fundamental tools that will allow you to come up with strategies on the goal regardless how older kids are. So these strategists and these techniques are applicable for kids at any age, group and category. I'm very excited to get started with you with this process. So that gets into the first chapter. 2. Part 1: Great parents ask powerful questions: Welcome to the module number four. Great parents don't sell. They coach. Part one. Powerful questions. When you connect in coach, you ask a lot of questions. Ask a lot of powerful questions, but not every single question is powerful. And in this section, we cannot talk about what makes them more or less powerful. So let's start from the top. Number one. Powerful questions. Assume there is an answer. I very often hear parents asking their kids, why did you do it? What we're thinking, if your objective is to make your child feel defensive, guilty, or feel the shame, those are great questions. But if you aim to be a great parents, you want to consider shifts in the gears and ask different types of questions that help the child find they're wrong answers. Number two, powerful questions trigger a thought process that finds the answers and solutions to the problem. And this is a very important one. A lot of the time we parents ask a lot of questions to find out all the details what happens in the past. Why was it occurring this way, and et cetera? Will literalists and most of our time discovering something about the past and we forget about the future. This makes our children feel exhausted and misunderstood. When you coach your kids, you don't want to dwell for so long in the past. You want to collect enough amount of information, know what was going on and help you child to shift into the solution phase and ask the question, what did you learn from this experience and what would you like to do different next time in the future? And number three, powerful questions. We'll dig deeper under the surface in the previous module when we're talking about wants and the shoot model, we discovered that the one place is the most powerful one. And you really want to bring your child for the quotient process into the one space to discover the inner desires and inner abilities. Very recently I had a very good example. When my son summing go into the office, he said, Mom, I don't want you to go. And he started crying. Very classic and very common situation. And I'm pretty sure a lot of parents experience at least once in their life. One thing I would like to highlight over here is that when a person says what they want, they don't actually say what they want. They say what they think will bring them or get them what they want. So in this case, my son actually wanted me to be with him. He wanted to spend the time with me so we can play together. So he didn't necessarily wanted to just not go. But he wanted to say, mom, I want to spend a lot of time together with you. So you really have to dig deeper under the surface to discover what is it, what your child really wants? Let's have a look. What are the least or more powerful questions. By the way, I don't want you to get the wrong impression when I say least powerful questions are the type of questions you're not encouraged to ask. It's still a kid to ask them, but I just want you to be mindful that the power that they bring will be less significant compared to you. Ask him different types of questions. So what exactly is at the top of the list? Powerful questions is the question which, and the questions that will yield the answers yes or no. For example, which tourists would you like to wear today? Blue or red? Are you hungry? As you can see, this type of questions will yield a very simple answer, will give a very minimal information which you can't expand on. The second list. Powerful question is the why question. What exactly is going on with the why questions in y? I'm not suggesting the parents to use them very often is because every single time you ask the question why a puts the people on defense, they feel like they have to explain themselves and give the reasons and justifications. So these questions are extremely sensitive, especially with teenagers when they're seeking their privacy, independence and wants to be treated just like adults. What are the better questions? Who, when and where? But the best questions and class are the questions what and how. We're gonna expand on them in the next sections. So let's continue. 3. Part 2: The 2 most important questions to ask your kids: But soon that so most important questions to ask your kids. I'm going to give you a very big secrets in order to be a brilliant coaching parents, all you need is to ask these two questions. What do you fail and what do you want. It is also very important to ask these two questions in exactly the sequence. First the question about your failings, and then the question about who wants. The feelings and emotions are such an integral piece of being a balanced human being. Which is why I'm also crates in the course, feel or not. So field which you can sign up when it is available. Let me give you a couple of examples of how these two questions can work for coaching in the moments or coaching in the structured conversations, and how they help to align your kids minds and the hearts. My son has a favorite plush toy, the cat. And he likes to take him everywhere. But often he forgets him at home. And when they're already in the car driving, it asked where he is and he starts crying and haven't tantrum. My first question for him will always be, What are you feeling and his responses. Then I will connect with him using active listening skills and acknowledge his feeling. You're feeling sad because you miss your best friend, the cats. You wanted to take him with you. But he's at home right now. He'll usually not. He said Through the Ts which will signal to me that the connection is there and his relatively coached or move to the solution phase. What do you want to do right now, given that the cat is at home and we are already driving, you will come up with his own solution. That could be I'll make sure I'll take him next time. Or could we listen to a song? Or I would ask if you wants to hear my suggestion so he can choose from a few options. Here's another example with the older kids. Mom, I really can't stand our new teacher of math. I seem What are you fill in about the teacher? I feel very shy and intimidated around him. Are HE feel intimidated about the new teacher? This must be an easier for you. And what do you want to know about this feeling given the fact that you will need to come to his class twice a week. Two, you'll notice what happens when you ask these two simple questions. What do you feel and what do you want? Exactly? You connect and you coach. You present yourself as non-judgmental parents who is there to guide and support the child and find that his own answers. And by the way, he don't take over the driver sales. And you create this emotionally safe space for your child to be. 4. Part 3: Great parents ask open-ended questions: But three great parents ask open ended questions. In this section, I would like to talk to you about how open-ended or closed-ended questions impact your kids. Just a quick reminder. The closed end questions are the ones where you get the answer yes or no. Were you ill? Very limited amount of information. The open ended questions are the ones we ask the questions who, where, when, how, and what. I'm going to give you some batches of questions so you can compare and get a sense of the energy that the yield when you ask them the first batch of closed ended questions. Do you need help? Heavy finished your homework, kids. I am going to clean it up. The second batch of questions. In this case, there will be open ended. What can I do to help you? How much time do you need to finish your homework? What do you want to do about it? What differences did you notice between the batch of questions number one and batch of questions number so the first batch of questions presume there is a direction where they parent wanted to leave the child towards. It also made the child field by far more defensive. The second batch of questions at the software tone was less judgmental and by far more empowering to find your own answers. I recommend to parents with young children to use two cups of questions simultaneously. Starts with an open-ended questions and then follow up with closed ended questions. Because when the kids are still very young, their brain is not mature yet to be able to come up with his own answers and solutions just yet. But you can build this Habits of structuring your questions in the most empowering way. For example, what can I do to help you? Shall we search for your thoughts together in the living room or in your bedroom? How much time do you need to pick your toys away? Do you need another five minutes? Ten minutes? What do you want to do about it? Do you want to clean it now with a towel over the top? A few parents with all the kids. I would suggest you to use the open-ended questions as much as possible. Why? Because when you use your closed-end questions, you are leading, guiding your kids to particular solution you already have in your minds, which you do want to keep your child at the driver seats. Which is why the open-ended questions become so handy because he child continued driving and direction he wants to go and he gets the to find the answers within. 5. Part 4: Change your ‘Why’ questions: But for change your why questions. In this section, I would like to share another secret volume. It's a very big one. Why questions and how to replace them with something that is more powerful. When you ask why questions, you have to consider two perspectives. The person who is asking the why question and the person who is receiving the white question. The person who is asking the white question is seeking for detailed information to understand what was going on. The person who receives the why question seasons differently. He seems like he's been attacked is to be defensive, explained himself. And ultimately he doesn't like as, what is the better alternative? A better option is to switch why questions to what questions? For example, why do you keep talking about the situation? You can switch this to what makes the situation so important for you to sense the difference that there is by far less judgments in the second type of the question. There is another very good reason why the what questions are by far more powerful have more energy. If you think about our brain, the left side and the right sign, the logic and the emotions. The why questions go straight to the left brain and what questions go to the right brain? There is by far more creative, deeper and can come up with a more creative answers and the solutions. Let me give you a few examples that will demonstrate the power of replacing y with watts. Example number one. What did you do that versus, oh, I see you in the mood for painting. The flow is for walking, not for painting. What is a better place for you to paint? Example number two. Why did you do that? I told you not to jump on the sofa. Oh, did you just fall down a UK? I feel inherit. Remember mama said that the software is for sitting. Once you learn an opportunity here, next time you In The Mood, Food jumping, What is a better place for you to do that? Example number three, with all the kids, one country, just join us and visit your grandparents. Versus what is it about visiting your grandparents that makes you not want to join us? Example number four, I heard from your sister that he was chosen to be the captain of your football team, patristic Klein's y. Versus what were some of your thoughts and feelings when you were chosen to decline to be the football team captain. 6. Part 5: What’s better than a ‘How’ question? : But five, what is better than a how question? I'm going to reveal another secret with you. Change your how questions, with what questions? And let me use one of the stories that happened with me and my son to demonstrate the power of what questions. Usually, whenever my son is done with his tantrum, we would sit down and debrief what happens. And I will always asking the same question. How can I help you when you're in punctual? How can I help you to feel better? He's typical response used to be just be with me. But technically be with somebody can mean so many different things. People. And when I discovered the power of swapping their questions, how with watts, I discovered completely different world with my son. Next time when he's finished with his stamp from our asked him a question. What can I do to help you to feel better during and after the tantrum? And he gave me the following answer, which was amazing. I want you to be with me and hugged me, and I want to just live for a second, so burned in my bottle of water so I can CIPARS and come down by myself. Isn't it amazing how much more information I was able to yield by changing the how with what question? So what exactly happens when you swap the tomb? The how questions go into the heads. They tried to untangle the mystery of Acts. The word questions go into the hearts and the law to discover new and creative opportunities and give a very specific answers and the steps to solve the problem. Here are a few more examples to demonstrate to you how powerful this swap of how inward questions. For example, if I were to ask you how to get from here to there, the typical answer would be it just needs to get up and walk. But if you were to ask the person what is required or what is needed for you to move from here. So there the answers will be by far more detailed and specific. You will need to get up, make six steps, reach out, and approach the camera with the hands. Next time when your child comes back from home, instead of asking, how was your day, swap it with the watts, What did you enjoy the most at school? Would enjoy the least that score. Next time when you're considering asking the question, how long is it going to take you to finish your homework? You can ask, what sign do you think you will finish your homework? Descends that difference of how much more powerful your questions become when you use the Watts. 7. Part 6: Questions for developing a Growth Mindset : But six questions to develop growth mindset. What is the main purpose of parents? In? In order to answer this question, I would like to use a metaphor. Not to eat the fish. You need to catch it and you need to cook it. The purpose of parenting is to support the child and making his free choices and decisions about how to catch that fish and how to cook it. It's not about the parents booting up the fish on the hook, on efficient rope. It's not about Putin. The fish in the bucket for a child is not the bulk parents cook in the fashion putting in front of them on the table, in the plates. It's not about the parents judging whether the way the child has been fishnet fishes right and wrong, and whether they have cooked it correctly. It is about accepting the choices of a child. So do this whole process. Are there choices when use a Barend, focusing on the choices that the child is making, you making the biggest transformation of your life. You shift from the fixed mindset. So the growth mindset, have you heard about the concept of fixed and growth mindsets? And do you know what it is? Fixed mindset is when people believe that things are not available in their life, that things are not possible, they are not existing for them and they can't do it, and they can't have it. The growth mindset is the opposite. When people look at everything, what happens in their life, whether that's positive or negative as a learning experience and a learning opportunity. And if they don't have something in their life to think about this, just yet. They're learning, they get in there and they will soon. Habits. Growth mindset is extremely powerful. And as a parent, you would like to raise your child with the beliefs based on the growth mindset. Great barons ask questions that focus on their kids successes, not failures. Build on the kid's strengths and weaknesses. Trigger moving forward thinking. And a positive don't make the child for bad, blamed or criticized. Let me show you in practice how all these four principles work with kids. You will notice that most of these examples are coaching in the moments. Example number one, my son was playing in the garden and was beaten by an end. He rents to me in tears. My traditional parents in response could have been a soldier not to touch the amps. They'd bite. That's blaming and criticizing, not to mention missing empathy and connection. However, great parents would be asking something like this. These must really hurts. Let me see your hands. And after the child comes down, what did you just learn from this experience? Here's a second example. My son has his ferric plush toy, the cats, you probably remember from the previous section. He takes him everywhere. One day he went to the bathroom and accidentally dropped him to the toilet. Lots of tears, of course. Instead of emphasizing on the arrow, I have chosen to use this as a learning opportunity. Asked next time when you go to the bathroom and once you bring a plush toy cat with you, what will you do differently? His answer was, I'll put him on the floor or next to the sink. Isn't that smart? How he cleverly came up with his own solution? A few examples with older kids. When will you start leaving the house on time and still being late for school? You can revert this to something like this. What can I do to support you in getting up on sign and comments to scope before the classes begin. To teenager puts different color clothes in the washing machine together with the whites. Great parents will approach this as a learning opportunity. What have you learned from this experience when you do the laundry and next time, what will lead to different claim? By I'm off to school. You don't have your helmet on, please put it on. I don't need it. I'm worried about you and the safety on the roads. I trust you, but I don't trust the car drivers. Arra wants to put it on. It sounds like you've really not in the mood supported on and are worried about you safe at C, we will have a conflict here. Can you think of a solution that we both could accept? What can we agree? So with we're both happy. 8. Part 7: Controlling and leading questions: But seven, controlling and leading questions. When they grow up, they occasionally become allergic to parents. Questions. Why is that? Is because we parents ask them in the controlling and leading way. So what is it exactly what we do that make our questions leading and controlling. So first of all, we have predefined list of questions that we would like to send inquiry or our children with seconds. When we form an opinion, we immediately created judgments as soon as we see that the outcome that child has defined for themselves is not exactly what we wish that form. Hence, we start criticizing and judging. And the third is that we very often wish to have particular result, in particular outcome for children. And we'll lend that out, come into the question, leading our kids towards that direction. Kids are very sensitive to linen questions. There are numerous studies that prove and show that the children will be tuning in and how our questions are asked and will start to respond in a particular way. And by the way, we're all used to be great in asking powerful questions. We all used to have a brilliant scale when we were kids ourselves. Because when the kids are born, they have this natural ability and natural curiosity to query everything that is around them. What is it? Why is it the way it is? Unfortunately, we all lose it by the age of four. When our parents solders stop asking holes questions, our schools or our teachers do not promote that culture of learning and asking powerful questions either because they are all based on the culture of selling. I personally have never seen any curriculum at schools that include the subject or topic that will teach our kids how to ask effective questions. Have you? It will be magical if we did have it. That is why in this section, I would like to spend that Sam on defining how can we break through this habit of asking, controlling, and leading questions. I'm going to use a couple of stories and scenarios to illustrate to you how the controller non-leading questions sneak into our parents in life. Also, we will try to transform the situations into something more powerful. Here's story number one. Your child comes back from school and says that she had a fight with your best friends. Your natural response could be, what do you need in order to make up friends? This question by itself is leading and controlling because it's based on an assumption that your child would warm some makeup friends again with this person. What if she doesn't want to be friends with your what if she has changed her mind and she's good, different directions. So in order for you to transform the question or the conversation to something more empowering all around the essence of your child. You would want to consider a different question, which could sound like this. What would you like to do about the situation with your friends? So you hear how this question becomes natural. But at the same, some encompasses a solution phase with a Child Fund, something inside of herself and answer that she would be happy with. Let's have a look at another situation. The child walks over to you and says he needs help with a train trucks, is been built-in something and, uh, he got frustrated because something was not working out. You work over into the room and you immediately see what the problem is and you know exactly what the solution is, and you ask a question, How's it going to work if these two train tracks and disconnected? This question itself is very judgmental. You perhaps could ask a different question. What do you need to do in order to connect this to train tracks? It is a better question because it doesn't have the judgment, but it is still leading the child to solution. You practically give the answer to the problem by asking that question that the rails have to be connected. So what will be a better option for asking this situation? It could be something like this. What do you need to do in order to make it work? What else can you think about to make it work? Can you think of any other ideas how you can make it work? Here's one more example for you. Your child comes back home and announces about the decision to stop swim classes. You jump in and ask the question, how is this going to help you to learn how to swim professionally? What do you sense about this question? Exactly. There's a lot of judgment. You could transform this into something more powerful. I see, you have decided to stop your classes. What is it exactly that makes it so important for you to pause this swim classes at the moment. What have you seen or heard that brought you to this conclusion and choice? Now, we're going to continue with a couple of practical assignments where you could experience the transformation process of not so powerful questions into the new versions. Powerful ones. 9. Part 8: How to deal with “I don’t know” and “I can’t”: But aid how to deal with, I don't know, and I can't very often parents come to me seeking for guidance to handle the situations. When a child says, I don't know, I can't and it's just too hard. You need to know that when you hear your child saying those things, it means they're sliding into their fixed mindset. And I'm gonna give a talk and how to handle it effectively. I personally love the moments like this because they become brilliant opportunities for coaching in the moments. And you can also turn that this hard moments into the aha moments and bright insight moments. One than I would like to explain to you and reasons why children, just like adults movements the island no lands. And I cannot lens because these two answers are safe. They keep people protected from trying new things, challenging things, because deep, deep, deep inside of them there is the fear of feeling, the fear of losing. Sometimes people also are not like the answer. And they also know that the moment they find this answer, there will have to do something about it and might not be simpler, ready to do that? Again because they have a fear of losing or failing. If you child southerners thought same icons ahead of a very big competition, you should be aware that Thiessen indication of them shifts in, into the theater space. The fear of failing, the fear of losing, the fear of not meeting someone's expectation and expectation of a parent or a coach who smaller case, these could present itself in a rather innocent scenarios and situations. For example, practicing the C circuits and using this new skill on the paper. I remember my son common over almost with tears and Selwyn mama conquered this paper. Just be aware when you hear your children saying, I can't I don't know, is an indication that this gives something new ahead of them that could be greater than them at this moment. When you present us with challenges like this, one tool that could become such a magical wand for you. And it's called incisive questions, would ease an incisive question. It is a type of question that is constructed in a way that first of all, six, the child back to the place where he feels very confident, something that he's very familiar with. Seconds. It returns the trusted himself or herself, and the child believes in his own capabilities. It's the type of question that opens up the door possibilities and invites the child to bypass the limits and believe whatever they're holding against themselves. And ultimately incisive questions build and develop growth mindsets. Here are some of the examples of incisive questions, and Casey child is stuck in the other namespace. If you were to pretend to know, what would it be? What if you secretly knew the answer? If you had a magic wand, what would it be? If you were to rub elegance lamp? What would be the answer? If you child is stuck in the icon space? You can use some of the following questions. If you were a superman, What would you do? Or if your child is full of any other heroes, you could use those names. So if you were Mom and Dad, what would you do? If you were to call your best friends and ask for help, what would she say? 10. Part 9: Great parents use Incisive Questions: But nine, great parents ask incisive questions. Here are a few things that you need to know in order to become a master of incisive questions. Every incisive question consists of two parts. Part one bypasses the limits and belief or something that the child is struggling with or is reluctant to try out. The second part is about you and devising a new way of thinking in vitamin, a new possibility and open up the door possibilities for your child to consider something they haven't even thought of the form. I'm going to use an example of a superhero to demonstrate how this took parts counts together. My son is a big fan of power portrayals. His favorite character is broken. Whenever he spotted something difficult or challenging and comes to me asking for help, I would ask him a question. If you were rocking, how would you approach it? How would you do it? Is it the first piece is about the hero. It's the one that bypasses the limits and belief and makes the child think like I can do like my hero. And the second part and vice a consideration that it is possible to do what you're trying to do and you might define an add hot at the moment. Let me show another example how it works in practice. A couple of months ago, my son started asking, so have ice cream every day. I tried all sorts of logical explanations that it's not girls, the sugar box. It's painful for the Tammy forgot to eat up so often I was again x and from the fireplace. And when I realized that nothing knowledge equals work in, I knew it was time to start using the incisive questions. So next time when he walked over and said, Mom, I want ice cream at Salt him. Can you imagine you can have all the ice cream in the world and you can eat it every day. And I can immediately see his eyes brighten up and his eyes sparkling. And ask him a question. So if you had all the ice cream in the world, which flavor would that be? Chocolate, he says. And how would you eat it? Would you have it in the couple? Would you eat it? And the corn is our Lovett in the kong. And I can see how his imagination startup plane in his head. Can you imagine if all your ice cream starts melting? What are you going to do? Where are you going to keep all the ice cream in the world? And then after four or five questions, he got carried away with his imagination and his pretend world that he moved back to his room and started painting his ideal ice cream planets. He even forgot about the fact that he wanted ice-cream in the first place. Such a powerful and wonderful and farm way of directing your children to make an assumption that there will be happy with. I'm going to use another example over here. You know how kids find it very difficult to wait for something that they want so much and they wanted right here right now that I occasionally even go to the tantrums. Birthdays is one of those things. When the kids asked is as my birthday today and you still have to tell them it's another couple of months to wait. And the given very sad and upset. This is a great opportunity to use incisive questions, How you can sell them. If it was your birthday today, who would you invite for your party? What would you like to do during the party? What kind of games which are like to play? How would you want to decorate your room? And just take your child into the journey of imagining the ideal birthday. The great Bono's of donor. This way is that you get to know their wishes and you can use those ideas to create beautiful and most ideal birthday party when its time is there. I don't know, those are very big and very popular with the teenagers, but they can mean so many different things. They could mean, I really don't know the answer. Or nobody asked me before, or I really don't want to talk about this and I'm not in the mood to talk about this. And parents who are very frustrated when they come breakthrough ways are don't knows well, incisive questions can become so handy to tackle that. Here are a couple of options. So examples for you to consider. What would you like to have for dinner? I don't know. Well, if he were to get an approximate answer and the time, when would that be? Another example? How would you like to solve this problem? I don't know. I understand that you might not know all the answer, but I'm sure you might have some ideas or some bits and pieces that you already know. What are they? Would you like to share? And one more example for you. What would you like to do when we'd go to visit grandparents? I don't know. I understanding you don't know. And if you were me, what question would you suggest me to ask to get a different answer? That is not I don't know. So I hope you go to very good sense of what the incisive questions are, how to build them and how to use them with your kids. Now it's time to practice.