Neuro-Linguistic Programming Master Class Part 2 - Communication Skills | Robert Murphy | Skillshare

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Neuro-Linguistic Programming Master Class Part 2 - Communication Skills

teacher avatar Robert Murphy, Health & Well-being Teacher & User

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

19 Lessons (2h 29m)
    • 1. Module 2 Communication Intro

      1:56
    • 2. Auditory digital

      8:34
    • 3. Auditory People

      7:59
    • 4. Kina people

      7:59
    • 5. Visual people

      10:14
    • 6. Common Misunderstandings

      4:54
    • 7. Rapport

      11:09
    • 8. Rapport Building Patterns

      7:15
    • 9. Congruence or In-congruence

      8:03
    • 10. External Indicators

      7:16
    • 11. Re-frame and Pre-frame

      7:05
    • 12. Eye Patterns

      9:31
    • 13. Eliciting Eye Patterns

      4:47
    • 14. Hierarchy of Ideas

      9:30
    • 15. Meta Model

      8:57
    • 16. Milton Model

      14:05
    • 17. Presuppositions of Language

      4:33
    • 18. Three Positional Reframe

      14:06
    • 19. Module 2 Conclusion

      1:16
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About This Class

In this, the next instalment of the Master Class of NLP, we look at the very important subject of communication.

Communication is the cornerstone of NLP and being a better communicator will help you in just about all areas of life, such as;

  • Sales
  • NegotiatingĀ 
  • PresentingĀ 
  • Therapy Work
  • Team Building and Leadership

As well as so much more!

So it is crucial that we work on and practice our communication skills so that we can effectively help and make change in the next course!

Meet Your Teacher

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Robert Murphy

Health & Well-being Teacher & User

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Transcripts

1. Module 2 Communication Intro: Hey, guys, Robin Murphy, you are welcome to, you know, pay the complete masterclass Part two, which is all about communication. So this is going toe give you the tools that you need in the resources that in eight for more empowering, more effective communication. So he you'll learn at that report, had a gain or pull so you can take control of communication situations. You will learn about people's representational systems of one that's so important in communicating with them. You let had a cross drama before it even begins. You will and U. S. A. And you'll also learn things like refrain pre framing other language tips and tricks. What to look out for, how to know when people are lying to you or accessing other information as well as so much more. I'm so excited for you to do this course because this lays the foundations for and will pay , so you've already done or should have already done pot one. So you know a little bit about it. I'll pay where it comes from. Would it sort of made off where it's from? The canceling model as well as from hypnotic language said. Now we're going to boost that up a bit. You should have made some girls. I want you to make some guards with this one, too. In that I want you to go out and practice this information. Go in. Brought some girls at that meeting. It's a new people have many. That is the connections that you already have, making those even stronger and stuff like that. But my guys, let's jump straight into this one all about communication. 2. Auditory digital: here. We're going to talk about the auditory digital person. So this person is the one with the fax of figures, processes or systems that is a favored representational system. That's how they learn best. And that's what they use. So I, we found further do. Let's get into it. Auditory digital can also be called internal dialogue. So that means that these people are the thinkers. They're listening, working through during a lot of stuff in their head, listening to that voice in their head, mapping things out in their head, procedures, systems and orders of the best way for them to operate. They usually think, ah, with very little muscular development because I don't need it. Everything happens up here so they don't need big muscles or anything like that to be able to do that. They're the planners fair, the kinesthetic to take over and do that task. They tend to have very shallow breath because they're not really aware of what their bodies doing because they spend so much time up. He everything down. He just doesn't want them something they normally there speech is normally very modern time , so I think all of like you're University presented his teaches people like that that you know, it would normally be doing very sci fi sort of subjects or computers or something like that , where they just tend to drone on and on and on. And I get lost on a tangent of something, but it they're not very fun to listen to. Now your program will have to make sense for the auditory digital person to take notice of it. And so he we're gonna have a look at some of the auditory digital PayPal on what they're mice likely to look like. So here we have scientists as well as over in the other corner here, someone who's a stamp collector, which is one of the things that an auditory digital person can get into. But you'll notice with these people dresses Doesn't matter. That much like they're not elegantly dressed closes only a function as we get into, but notice what they're doing where they are. So with Albert Einstein over here to the far left, there you notice his hair doing all crazy sorts of things, doesn't want him, doesn't worry me special here, isn't really that kept his eyebrows Not really, that kept. Looks don't matter to him. What is important is the value of his brain. Same with the second picture there in the middle scientists laboratory. You can say the one leading in he's hit doesn't really matter to Humala, whereas the one doing it he probably just goes and gets a haircut doesn't really worry about it. It is installed in any form or fashion, but they're more interested about what they're doing. And same with the other. The last one there on the run, this one just about me, you'll notice with these people to their forehead will be the most well looked after part or not looked after, but the freshest looking part of their face. So whether it's it there or there now that comes down to they use their brain, therefore, it their imagination all the time. So that's how you can tell an auditory digital person over save visual or kinesthetic for auditory. Now, talking about the auditory digital persons dress, as I said before the look and feel close, is not important. They're there for function only so they can do their job while wearing the clothes so most auditory digital males will actually need someone else to buy clothes for them now. A great example of this is Albert Einstein, who had entire wardrobe of identical suits and shirts. Each day he'd wear a new one while the previous warm one would be clean and rehung. This saved him. Time is, he didn't have to think about what to wear each day. He could just get straight into work. Now a lot of auditory digital people will be like that just by simple close toe where that I care. But it looks like as long as it serves that function as long as I can do their job. What wearing it, they're happy? Yeah. I mean, look at some of the activities in past times of the auditory digital that will include rating studying and thinking activities. Air is vented his philosophy and collecting things. So things that involve a great deal of Brian power or research behind things. They're often very little reverence to anybody else, though it's totally logical to them. So you can ask them why they're doing this and I will go through the steps, stages why they're doing it. Stamp collecting as we saw, um, with the picture of that guy. He probably has them all in chronological order. All nice presented. It probably could tell you the history of all of those stamps or something like that. For these people, that stimulates in mind, and they may appear disorganized. Summit with you seem correction to Maybe it isn't different orders, but maybe it's ordered. So this country, this country, this country in chronological order or something like that, these people think, and that's what they do. So now, having looked at the predicates that an auditory digital person would use, So we have sense experience, understand? Think, process, decide motivate, consider change, perceive, insensitive, distinct conceive. And no, no. I mean, there may be many others as well, but these are some of the main ones sign that would sigh if you were to ask him a question . That's why I think this or I understand what you're saying, said that very brain woods thinking words. So I want you to consider this. I know this rather than saying or using any of the other senses now, interestingly as well, the auditory digital person doesn't have any specific phrases for themselves, as they often use the phrase is of other representational systems and just use the predicates. We just went through inter sentence with them. So I think I see what you're thinking, those sort of things. So I don't have any specific phrases that they would use and in summary for the auditory digital person. They spent a lot of time in their heads thinking, going through processes and trying to make sense of things close service, a function only they may be in tennis or well looked after. It won't matter what they look like. They will normally have shallow breathing and talking a very monotone manner, and they may hold their hands on their face in the thinking gesture. So, as I'm sure you're well aware of, you know, sinking postures. But they have no overt gestures. So when they're excited, they won't wave their hands in the air or anything like that specifically, unless they've got a bit of something else in them. Like the visual system. These people, they think of them as the head is separate from the body in a why there's so much in the head, like, you might say, the excitement in their eyes, but their body may be completely still. But anyway, guys, that's how you can recognize the order. Tore a digital person. Do you know, in ordinary digital person what gives him away? What gives them away about that? That I've just said you were No auditory digital person. Barry goes now, you know, hating gain rapport with these type of people. 3. Auditory People: Now we're gonna have a look at auditory people, so I hearing is their preferred method off representation. So they learn best by hearing and then use those hearing predicates as we'll discover in this lesson, so auditory people will normally move their eyes sideways. Now, as we get into that, listen further down the track, you'll notice that the auditory cues are to the side. So two left is auditory, remember, and then auditory create is to the right. So if they're trying to remember something, they'll look to. Now this is my left. They'll look to the left to remember a sound or what something sounds like, whereas if they look to the right trying to create that sound. So I think Richard Nixon there when he used to look shifty because he was shifting his own lies one mile the other. He was actually trying to remember something, seeing how it sounded like trying to remember. So maybe he's remembering his voice and what he should say. They break from the middle of their chest so it'll look a lot more normal. Then a visual person. Would they typically talk to themselves and are easily distracted by noise. So if they hear something going in the background while they're talking to you, or while they're doing something, they'll get caught up in that song. Some even move their lips when they talk to themselves, because they can hear it so clearly that it's Yeah, like they're talking to themselves and they hear that voice in the head a lot more than a lot of the other representational systems that will be able to repay things back to you very easily. And I learned from listening so they'll be able to repeat those instructions back to you. Word for word easily. I generally like music and talking on the fine. Then memorize by steps, procedures and sequences sequentially. Sorry, like the auditory digital 123 full. Now just a note on that music as well. It's music without a big thumping bait that's normally the room of kinesthetic. So these people will like the tribal music or slower sort of music, really arty sort of music for them. But without that big bait that you can feel the auditory person likes to be told how they are doing, and they respond to certain tones of voice and set of words. Yeah, this person want be calling up with speaking to someone in the wrong time. Very, very conscious of that sort of thing as well is if you're talking to them in the wrong time , they may take offense to it much more than the other representational systems. They'll be interested in what you have to say about your program. Then we use their hands to talk frequently like I do a little bit and normally at the level of their head. So but whatever reason, that makes sense today. Now, when they speak, it sounds like they're singing with a large vocal range. So here we have two very, very auditory people these people could come up with and seeing beautifully. You'll also notice that dress sense now. That'll become very apparent in a moment. They like to almost get it right like the visual person would. I like to have those things that a sane, but it doesn't quite come off fashionably. It's just that little bit different. You notice, too, that these people did have rather broad chest did or do because that the voice pushing it out. But even when they were talking when these people are talking, they are very nice to listen to. It is almost desire there singing as they're talking, so the address they can take on the qualities of any of the representational systems. But more often than now, they'll try to take on the visual style and just get it a bit wrong, as we saw there, outlandish but not fashionable to say, for example, they may be labeled clothes and put them together in the wrong way. Some of their activities and pastimes sound music and conversation at the main elements that make up this person's past times fine old or traditional music as supposed to rhythm is more appealing. As I said there, rhythm is more akin esthetic realm. Many auditory people like walking in nature and just bigger, surrounded by different sounds of nature. The birds, the trainees, the rustling, the crunching of bark, that sort of thing. Here are some of the predicates that an auditory person would use or to use to capture their attention. He listen, sounds or sounds like make music makes sweet music. Tune in. Bill is it rings a bell. Silence be heard resonate death, mellifluous dissonance. Question an unheated ring, so you would use these words to capture that auditory person's attention. And here's some of those phrases that they would use or to capture their attention. War of the words Blood enough, Clear Isabel clearly expressed call on describe in detail earful given account off. Give me a really all. Then Neary grant an audience. Heard voices hidden message. Hold your tongue. Idle talk. Inquire into keynote speaker Loud and clear manner of speaking. Pay attention to the power of speech pers like a kitten. Once again, that noise state your purpose tattle tale to tell the truth. Tongue tied, tuned in or June, doubt unheard off utterly voiced an opinion well informed within hearing and wanted forward . So these are some of the things to look out for, to know you're talking to an auditory person or to use with an auditory person in summary for the auditory person, they're motivated by what they hear and if it sounds right to them and they use those auditory predicates or like to hear there's auditory predicates being used. Their bodies usually have very little muscular development, although they can take on qualities of the visual or kinesthetic systems, so they may be thin. Wiry. They may have a little bit of muscular development or a lot of muscular development, or be a little bit more weighty. Or they could be some way in between. Now they normally talk to themselves and move their eyes sideways to access that auditory memory as well as auditory. Imagine they need to be told how something is. So that is the auditory person. Are you an auditory person? Do you know an auditory person? What can you use now to better communicate with that auditory person or to at least identify them? That's it, for this one goes. I will see you in the next lesson. 4. Kina people: Now we're gonna have a look at kinesthetic people. So these people are the feeling people, whether it is touchy feely or internal feelings. Now this is their favorite representational system. People who work in acidic, physical and feeling They typically brave from the bottom of their lungs and you'll see their stomach move Internet. As I brave, they often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards and touching side days. Are your more affectionate sort of papal so huggy feely pat on the back sort of thing? That's what then respond more to. They also tend to staying closer to people than visual people. So we're visual. People like to get a whole look of everything. Can you? City people want to get that feeling. They want to be close to you. They memorized by doing or walking through something. So if you walk them through the steps like here, you will be doing this. They'll get the feeling off that movement. They'll be interested. If the program feels right, they're prone to holding their own bodies or their hands it. There were a lot of self serving, so they'll be there sitting maybe with their arms crossed, touching, clutching one arm touching their face. That sort of thing will be how these people will react. So he, uh, some examples of kinesthetic PayPal. So the athletes, they might be a bit thinner, but they don't have good muscular development. So that would be really timed, uh, or your fighters Or they may be bodybuilders other that or they will be a bit bigger as there a bit of a catch potato. Now, one thing that all of them can appreciate is that they like feeling so whether it is Brazilian jiu jitsu, like a little m m a fighter up there or anything, it's that close, touching, feeling sort of thing. You know, they don't mind sometimes feeling a little bit of pine. It depends to how it feels to them in that situation, much like the person who is the catch maternity. They said that they feel the chair, how it feels to them so, and that's why they would have careers such as massage and stuff like that, where they are touching, feeling like myself, get to feeling, although really, really enjoyed going for a massage, and I once awake every second wake that sort of thing just to get in touch with their body . The kinesthetic person's address. Now they normally wear loose clothing and can appear scruffy, often simple, strong colors or simple, subtle patterns. It's not a visual thing. It's more about how it feels must be easy to move in and be comfortable. The feel of the material is far more important in the look of the clothing. So these are the people that will have that scruffy old favorite shirt favorite pair of jeans just cause I feel right, accessories that normally clunkier and heavier. So this is the big Bangles. This is the big watch, the gold chain that hangs down and hits their chest because I like how it feels they can feel it, and it feels good. Most miles won't normally have someone else by their clothes for them, because dress, since Gary's have the window, I know my fiance does help may dress one time. She's like, Are you got pattern on patent? How can you do that? It's like dunk a so the activities in past times. Now I can swing between the extremes of being very active, fit in health conscious with a love of movement, moving their body, feeling those muscles, working all that could be a catch potato that loves to relax. They can love any sort of physical activity, sport or even things like sculpting. So, as I said with the visual person, these are the people who might be sculpting making different absolute abstract sculptures, painting what they feel so you'll notice to. Some of the paintings will. Actually, rather than just being a flat painting, they'll have a certain texture to it that you can feel. Life itself is expressed through one's feelings moment to moment, so they might be emotional people as well. Now some of them might bury it deep dear, especially males. But they will have strong feelings, which can then lead to an instant explosion off feeling. You hear some of the predicates for a kinesthetic person feel touch, grasp. Get hold off, catch on, tap in to make contact. Throw out, turn around hard, unfeeling concrete scrape. Get a handle solid. And here are some of the phrases that a kinesthetic person would use all washed up. So you get that feeling of being washed boils down to ah, heart feeling chip off the old block, so it's a ritual ship. Come to grips with control yourself. Cool, calm. Collected firm foundations. Get a handle on, get a load off getting touch with Get the drift off. Get your gun hand in hand, hanging their heated argument. Hold it. Hold on, hothead. Keep your shirt on. No how lay cards on the table. So it's a very physical sense off, putting something down pain in the neck like a quite literal pain in the neck. Sometimes pull some strings sharp as a tack. Sit my mind Smooth operator. Start from scratch. A stiff upper lip. Too much hassle. Topsy turvy. So, so sorry. It's a bit of a balance. Yeah, it could be one or the other out of balance. So for kinesthetic people, in summary, they are feeling people emotions and physical contact. R K Fashion comes second to have things feel and the movement you can have with that clothing so they won't where the tight, restrictive stuff that limits movement or they'll feel really uncomfortable while wearing it. They're normally very muscular and athletic or on the other extreme, overweight things have to feel right, and they have to do things so it can be about feeling nice and relaxed. Could be about the feeling of that controller in your hand is you're playing a game and these at the top of people who will move about with that video game. Or it could be about getting out there fixing that car, feeling like you have a change something or hitting that bag or anything. It'll that gets, um, moving doing something Is that the people that won't be able to sit for too long or on the other hand, they will be able to sit for hours and hours. But they'll be about eight so much and a variety of foods because to the texture of how it feels in their mouth and they learn a memorized best by doing so getting these people out there getting him into something, getting the group's on something they learned best blind doing. But that is kinesthetic PayPal. In a nutshell. Are you a kinesthetic person? Do you know a kinesthetic person? Do you know how you would now communicate more effectively with a kinesthetic person but anyway goes, That's it for this lesson. I will see him in the next one 5. Visual people: and welcome to representational systems. In this one, we're gonna talk about visual people, so being visual or responding to visual predicates is a favored representational system. Now it doesn't mean it's the only one attached to. One of these lessons will be a quiz about what representational system you want. I want you to take that Chris or have other people take that quiz as well and discover what type of representational system you are. It may give you a few insights in debt. Who you are, how you operate, how you learn as well, son. Without further ado, let's jump into the visual now. Not saying to that, then won't respond to any of the others. Just that visual is their favorite. We all have a little bit of a mixture, but this one is that favorite as you'll find out with the others as well. So visual people will often sit stand with their heads and their bodies direct with their eyes up. Now their eyes are up because their visual, they're saying they're looking for that information, and they often Siddle stand that way because it's the most appealing way to look sad aspect . They'll be breathing from the top of their lungs, so you won't say much movement below the rib cage. This means that their speeches fast, high pitched and full of visual predicates. Now they often sit forward in their chair. They tend to be organized, neat, world groomed and orderly. They hate mess. Miss is visually unappealing to them, and it just drives them berserk. Now they memorized by saying pitches and unless distracted by noise, now they'll offer have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wonder when they're thinking about that. So the best way to engage a visual person is to show them what you want or have them imagine that picture in their mind. But once again, too many words and they're off with the fairies. Visual person will be interested in how your program looks. Appearances are very important to them. These are your supermodel. See people who are dressed to the nines. Your fashion designers, those sort of people. They're often very thin and wiry, and when they're excited, they're arms will be high in the air. They want to be saying so he we have some visual people. Sorry, he right over on the left, and you've got some models now. While that's not the best picture to illustrate it, notice how color coordinated everything is even hair color, coordinated with the sort of dresses and just how all similar they look. Mostly thin, mostly long lane. Now the second picture there is the most typical type or the pick off visual representation . Look at how symmetrical his face is. Look at the design, the creases in the pants, how fashionable he is and have thin his face is, but even look at his hair. No hairs out of place in this. And it stands out that one on black. Even the shine of his pants stands at, he wants to be saying. And then other visual people are your artists who have crazy hair so you can go from one extreme to the other, something that wants to be saying those glasses. Even it makes an iconic look, and being an artist is any hip. Warhol was. He knows how to make a visual statement as well, so there's some of the things to look out for. With visual people now, visual people's address sense will always be night and more ground appearances and hand things look is the thing. They enjoy broad colors, complex patterns and very shapely clothes gives once again they like to show off. They figure they like to be seen for who they are underneath as well as have, like something is visually appealing and eye grabbing. The material is very used. We like fine, and they're very, very fashion conscious, which means accessories are of a final nature. So big, clunky Bangles or big earrings? No, these people are very fine. It's normally stuff. It would accentuate them rather than how it feels on them. Labels can be important to them now. Some of their activities and pastimes will involve visual things, like the world of images. So travel our fashion and just being seen in the right places. So a lot of these people like a lot of supermodels and whatever else going to celebrity parties being seen with the right people. Notice that's all about being seen saying is a very big word for a visual person. Now this can lead to a constant hunger for new pitches and locations. They can be your troubles. These people want to go see the sights so he are some of the predicates of a visual person . So see, look, view appear dawn as in dawn upon or let it dawn on you reveal. Envision, illuminate. Imagine clear, foggy. So you're getting a very rather clear picture or a foggy picture, and you can imagine that folk focused, hazy crystal and picture so saying would be in there as well. I don't know wants no, but everything to do with viewing a picture, looking at something or, if excuse your view. Now here are some of the phrases that a visual person would use or that you can use to engage the visual person to get an eyeful. Once again, talking about those eyes being visual appears to may be under shadow of a doubt getting a bird's eye view. Catch a glimpse. Clear cut dim view flashed on. Get a perspective on Get a scope on a hazy idea. Ah, horse of a different color. Which more or less maids It's the same, but just a little bit different in light off in person. So they're they're imagining that person or in the flesh, even in that regards, in view of looks like make a scene a mental image. Mental picture the mind's eye, the naked eye to paint a picture to see to it. Very short sighted, showing off a sight for sore eyes staring off into space. Take a pink tunnel vision under you nose. So you actually looking down there up front and well defined. Now, if you want to capture someone's attention, a visual person's attention you would use days ons. Another test would be to have a visual person inside. Some of the out of per tickets and fries is that you'll learn for at the rest of the lesson and just see how long it takes your attention too often to get that blank look on their face and in summary, for the visual person, they are motivated by sight. That is how it looks, what it would look like and use predicates. It would explain that. So if you see someone or hear someone rather keep saying seen, say, look at chances, either a visual person or that's a favorite representational system. Now their body type is usually thin and wiry. So I think of the supermodels and famous artists who paint what they see rather than what they're feeling that's another important distinction there to these people will have, like the Fruit ball or the person there to paint, and there won't be much feeling involved. Once again, think of Andy Warhol and his famous can of soup. It was a cancer. It there's not much what I wouldn't imagine that there's much emotion behind that. It's just what he saw now that to these people will paint that visual thing rather than sculpting anything. Or they'll make it a sculpture off something that they've seen rather than something that they feel like You're abstract painting or those sort of things that's kinesthetic more so now they normally have great fashion sense and hold themselves in a very straight even when it comes at the expense of being uncomfortable. It all comes down to how it looks, and they memorized by saying pitches. So try not to use too many words when you're talking to a visual person or they'll start daydreaming. So that is visual people in a nut shop. Are you a visual person? Do you know some visual people test it out with, um, try some of these phrases saying, Forget their attention or if they start to wonder off. But I goes, That's it for this one. Now the rest of these will make sense to other people. But visual people normally take up about 50% of the population. And I goes, That's it for this one. I'll see you in the next lesson. 6. Common Misunderstandings: Hi, guys. Welcome to our first real lesson in communication mastery. So we're going to start out with some common understandings when it comes to communication . Sorry to start with. The biggest misunderstanding is that we think we know what other people are talking about. But the word that they use is not the thing it describes. So when they say something, it means something totally different to us in our head. The thing is only what I think it is. So take, for instance, of basketball. Someone who doesn't know basketball before might get a tennis ball mixed up. So as they're talking about this basketball, we're thinking of this when they say that hit it with a racket or whatever and Brian, and be like, How the hell do you hit a basketball with the bracket? So that sort of thing. So what I think it is only exists in my mind is a set of complex associations. You know, we'll get into that a bit later to, but those complex associations are so round, with little dimples on it with a little lines around it. Basketball normally orange in color as most commonly se Ra's small green fuzzy with a little oval shaped thing on it. Tennis ball. So we know that. And we know what they used for, like you would find a basketball on a basketball court sort of thing and you associate a hoop with that, whereas the tennis ball you would associate the tennis racket with and a different type of court. So when someone says I know humane, what they're really saying is I know what that word means to May on the inside of my head. So especially to with emotional stuff, they mean so many different things to so many different people. So when someone says, Oh, I'm going through a really hard time at the moment, you know, I'm feeling down, depressed out of it, disjointed when someone says, Oh, I know what you mean They died. They can't because one it's your map of the world, sir, it's gonna be totally different to someone else's map of the world where they might be down depressed. But that might mean that they're up here still to hear, because I haven't hit that blow yet. So the process of using words to communicate is a system of mutual hallucination, so just let that one sink in as we're talking about something where hallucinating and putting our own ideas onto it in a mutual fashion. So remember, I only know a thing from my frame of reference, and the majority of communication systems are based on the person hallucinating that they understand the hallucination of another. So that's how misunderstandings occur. You could be talking about one thing to someone, and they think they understand and a feeding back how you would hear it and how you would understand it. But it's toe totally different things going on inside each of your head. It's like how you have a car accident and depending on the angle view from all previous experiences past issues being triggered, two people can explain the same situation and completely different way. Who was at fault? What happened? The color of the car even could be completely different, but they're both right in their head. Very guys, that is some common misunderstandings just to be aware off. So especially if you're using this in a clinical setting. When you start talking to someone about some of their stuff, some of the issues and stuff just know that you don't actually know what they're talking about. So don't do a mind raid where you think, Oh, honor this situation. This is what you need to do. It's not that simple. Listen to them. Offer them some suggestions because maybe they've tried. It may be that haven't Maybe it's completely wrong for them. Maybe you're completely misreading a situation. But my guys, that's it for this one. Just know it's not as bad as the sands, but you are not that person. You don't know what they're thinking. Something to keep in mind as we trouble for the rest off this module. Mary guys, that's it for this one. I will see him in the next lesson. 7. Rapport: Now we're gonna talk about the very important subject of report with report. You gain someone's trust. Once you have report, it is the art of mirroring and matching, showing someone that you're like them now. This is very important if you hope to enact any sort of change, gain trust or do anything with those people in regards to NLP or hypnosis. So without further ado, let's find out what reporters, how we can gain it and keep it. So are you aware that you want to your behavior to being like other people? Think about this in your next interaction or the different groups that you associate with. So let's say you have a sporting group. Do you like the same there is? You would work as you do with your friend grip that you've known for a very long time. Would your assignment work? Or were clients talking about the same things, using the same language that you would with friends or mates that you've known for 20 years ? The likelihood is that you would not so you all to your behavior language, subconsciously, so that you appear to be more like that other person. This is a process called report report is when you're marrying a matching the body language of that person right there in front of you all group of people in front of you. It comes from the French word to carry back, but the way that we use it has more meanings than just to feed back to someone the way that they are in their behaviors. Firstly, it means that not only that the other person has a sense of AIDS and comfort and familiar reality when communicating with you, the thing is, they just like may. I can trust this person more easily, but also that the other is being responsive and receptive to your ideas. So when we're in perfect report with someone, it's like we're thinking along those same lines. In fact, the K test is to test the responsiveness from the other person. What report behaviors do is often undeniable and convincing evidence to the other person in the way that you speak that someone cares enough about them to join them in their dance, their model of the world. So that's from innovative therapies in Britain in 1998. What that means is basically what it says you join the mid near model of the world, you shape your body language of behaviors, your language to be like them to communicate more effectively to them. Now it is respectful in that. Why, Ah, there can be times where it used with a bit of disrespect, and then you will lose that report instantly. So secondly, report, in turn, is part of a lighter concept, a bigger chunk called pacing, which is normally taken a made a whole range of things that are communicated to others. Pacing is the ability to join another person in their moral world by using and feeding back verbal and non verbal cues. So what body language they're using. Once you do this, you can then pace him a few times and laid them in a different direction. So this is so great for sales as well. If you want someone to purchase something once it's done with the correct ecology and respect like I've said, you can lead them to a different product that would better suit, then aids, regardless of the process. For example, let us go at your pace, at least for a little while. Let me walk your walk. Talk your talk except no matter how stranger ideas, even if that would normally be different from mine. So I'm walking in your world. I'm walking the walk, talking the talk that you do for a little while. At least now, pacing can include mirroring, matching, getting into report matching their representational systems. Which is why it was so important for us to learn that to start with matching the representational system sequence or strategies, how they learn how they talk, how they would look at their processing, matching meta programs, which will get into a bit later, going along with the content of someone else's beliefs. So whether they're ultrareligious and you're an agnostic, you go along with their beliefs, matching the structures of others. Beliefs contain any combination or mixture of the above, so you might mirror them. Mirroring literally is you. So I say they've got this hand up. You would mirror that other on this side or that side, but you would mirror their body language. If they're slumping, you slump. If they're staying up, strike you stand up straight and you face them and same sort of thing with matching. And that is getting into report, then the representational systems something kinesthetic, using words like feel touch. It's so great to see you and give him a bit of a pat, that sort of thing. Once you pay for a wall you can laid. Leading involves the attempt to get another person to change and to auto, enrich their behavior or thinking process. After obtaining report, you can lead by changing your own behaviour so that the other person naturally follows. Now this is easy to say, especially with body language. If you're pacing with them and then you want us to find out if you're leading, just change your body position slightly, not do something crazy toe break that report. But if you change your body posture slightly, you'll notice that thou do the same sort of motion or a very similar sort of motion to what you are. So if you start to Lane four down, startling forward if you touch your face, I might touch your face a little bit differently or in the same way. It is so interesting to watch and learn. To do this, it is advisable to pace, pace, pace and then laid, so make sure that you're in perfect. Report first before you start to laid. Now, another important subject in this is breaking report. Now there are some people who are so good it not getting the signs of breaking report or can just fly from one conversation to the next, and you start there for ages. So you want a break report. The quickest and most easiest way is to mismatch. Now you'll see this a lot when someone's like, Well, I got to get going and they'll stand up or make a big avert. I'm just Ah, it's time to go sort of thing that is breaking report, changing your posture easily mismatching that poster. This is when you wish to terminate or to interrupt a conversation so it can even be, uh, pacing, pacing, pacing. Then if you start to lead, or even if you don't need to let just wait. I've gotta take this phone call. I've got a guy. Some people would naturally do this as they may have a running program inside them about the mismatch. So some people are absolutely awkward to try and talk to, to try and get a conversation with, because the automatically just mismatch. To do this, you deliberately change your tone, body language, for example, a large side to wrap up or suddenly standing up in summary for report. It is used to start all procedures. Now, this is important. Going forward in NLP here, you need to get report. You need to be able to get report with just about anyone. There are some people who are going to be harder than others, but you need to get into their model of the world, step out of Iran stuff for a second and respectfully getting today's. Once you gain reporting, you can begin to pace. And late now you can do this with everything we for Paul. So using their representational systems, using their body language what they're doing. So if someone comes at you with crossed arms, cross your arms and then once you've talked to them for long enough, listen to their ideas. See if you can unfold your arms and see if they follow. See if you're leading, then another one to is if someone grabs you really hard. I use this for martial arts and grubs and stuff. They grab you as hard as I can. You tense as hard as you can in your arm. Then once you relax that on, you'll find that hand will relax. I've used it on people who did A bad hug on me lifted me up, and I just tend to my whole body and relaxed, and I couldn't help but let me guy It's awesome toe play around. If so, that's another one to practice sign there. Pacing plays an essential role in report building. It involves flexibility to enter the other person's model of the world. So once again, as we said that lower of records variety, the most flexible element in the system will end up controlling the system. So keep open minded. Don't coming. Everyone with you will gain report with some people, naturally, those people who are like you so another six foot 200 are key lime male. I would start to get along with them more naturally than I would Ah, female dwarf midget who's Asian because that's completely different to my makeup. Now to be an effective communicator, it is critical to keep in mind that everybody has their own map model of the world. Like I was saying, there keep an open mind with that. If you disrespect someone, though, close up, they'll shut up shop. I've seen it many a time. Ah, just in conversation with someone. Someone say some I d that they have about something and the other person will just close down, Clear up And that person that is fighting against a brick wall sort of thing. So keep an open mind when you're talking to someone, especially if you want to enact change work, I'll sell them something. But a my goes. That's it for this one on report. We'll do a bit more work on this in the next lesson. So practice, practice practice with this one being an effective communicator with anybody you make. But that's it for this one. I'll see you in the next lesson. 8. Rapport Building Patterns: Welcome back us. Now we've got a little bit of an understanding on a pole. Let's look at how we can build that using these report building patterns. So the basic report building pan is matching. Matching is the process whereby you adjust the same aspects of your own external behavior to approximate or toe match those aspects of the other person's external behavior. For example, when the other person to its ahead to lift you to adjust your head to the left. Now you may do it to your right so that you're mirroring them, but we might get into mirroring a bit later. The ongoing process is called Pacing, that is. You move to the other person's movements, matching their sequence of movements. So if they start doing things like this with respect, you start touching your face in the same similar sort of fashion that they would Now. The mind test to indicate the reporters attained is called leading Now. This is a simple test of changing one person's patterns and observing. If the person matches, you match the person's movements pace for a period of time, then changing the element of body posture, tone or any other poor modalities and observe. Sorry, I'm not be following you with your arms. Crossed them for quite a wall. Then all of a sudden I might drop my hands and I wait for you to follow in May and drop your hands. Or I might move it to my face, Anything like that to have some form of this practices on public transport and a restaurant anywhere, anyway, were you know, two If someone's got you in their peripheral vision practices, you might not even realize you have report with that person because sometimes we don't but just start, match them whatever they're doing with their hands. I let Sai you're sitting in a restaurant. Maybe they've got their hands like this talking to someone else. Match him reef respect, of course, and then even just dropped the hands and lean back in your chair. Saved they start to fire, Then you can do things that it's it's fun. So I have some fun with matching. If the person changes with you, then this is called leading. So there, you know you're leading this person. Now here's some different bits for whole body matching, so adjust your body to match the other person's postural shifts over there, leaning to one side or the other. They got one shoulder ford part body matching he can do and late ah, hope a person just by matching the tilt of the head. So painting any consistent or stylistic use of body movements, so their hand gestures. So if they throw their hands up all the time, do that, too. Vocal qualities say that shifts in totality that tempo that volume, the timber of their voice and imitation patterns. So if they talk with a bit of a pattern, copy that match that head shoulder angle, match the characteristic poses of the other person, or what they offered with their head in their shoulders. So maybe they have one shoulder up. Maybe they took their head. Maybe they had constantly tilts to one side. Now the verbal pattern in their predicates here and use the same sensory system predicates much in pace there. Representational system pretty gets that day years, so he you want to use to see the heat, the feel, the think that sort of predicates, what they're using, fade that back to them in a way that's respectful. But the bills were poor as well. Yeah, the facial expressions see the ways in which the other person uses their face. Do they lift an eyebrow so you can match that with them repetitive phrases here in utilize repeated phrases of the other person. So it's like this. I do this, Um, whatever phrases I use start feeding that back to them. That information back to them now to I had ah one lady who said I would say yes. Yeah, that was a very noncommittal statement. Very much sounded like What would you do if you could do it? Ah, yeah, I would do this. Or do you think, um, so I was about emotional stuff, So I'm not gonna Let's just say do you think you can get out of this sadness? I would say yes. It's like, Why don't you just say yes, But anyway, that would be something to feedback. Tow her the Yeah, I would say yes. Now matching matching the other person's gestures in a way that's graceful and respectful. Respect, respect, respect with this. If you start blindly following them, they're just gonna get what the hell you doing? It's almost like an insult it's like you're fading it back in. Why that? It's like a character of what ir and breathing now breathing to you, match your breathing with theirs. So the rate of their breathing, but to I have seen, Ah, my older no paymaster. He just got his hand and matched his breathing right rise and the fall of the chest. We've one of the other students in the class and then just got in very gently to close his eyes and put him under trance, just from matching his breathing with the motion of his hand. So I just another thing to give a try to and then indirect matching. So, using one aspect of your behavior to match a different aspect of the other person's behavior. For example, here adjust the tempo of your voice to match the other person's breathing right. Like I was there, saying with the hand and with the breathing right pace the other person's eye blink with your finger or head notes. So as I blink doing something, it's in the same motion but indirect, So it's even more sneaky. You know why, but I guys get out their practice. These were poor building patterns. It's the only way you're gonna master. So as we went through before, you might be consciously incompetent at the moment or even consciously competent. But you want to get to that unconsciously competent with these skills and have fun. But it goes, That's it for this one. I will see you in the next lesson. 9. Congruence or In-congruence: and welcome. So now we're having a look, a congruence and in congruence, so Congress or in Congress, think about a time where you've been talking to someone. You get their agreement for something. But you have that feeling that something slightly off then later that agreement is broken by the other person. So it might have been going to an event. It might be if you're in sounds, you want them to buy something, and they're just a little apprehensive. They greater it. But it feels we'd even remember their body language, their body movements at the time, the tonality of their voice and the language that they using it becomes clear that they were not really in agreement at all. So then I might be literally pulling back. They might be crossing their arms. The time might be very flat or varying. That sort of, um in the language that using of words, they can sort of get out of it later. So, yeah, I'm not really sure, but it looks like Annie, those sort of things where it's like, Yeah, I'm not 100% committed to this. So this is what we call in congruence part of their body, and their mind was a grain. But another part was not said. They're having this internal sort of conflict. Part of them wants to do it, but probably a bigger part doesn't want them to now that comes in and a part in aggression as well. Or it can do which we'll talk about in a lighter module, because that's more of a technique rather than talking about communication. So in the passing of time, when it came toe action to be needed to be taken, this person did not perform, so they weren't saying the true intentions more or less so. Here's some wise to classify in congruence with the representational systems, whether be visual auditory, kinesthetic on factory, internal dialogue or gas story. The body storage, the left hand side, the right hand side top and bottom whole body apart, buddy. So some of the major indicators will bay breathing suddenly interruptions. Oh, because they stressed the body is literally feeling like it's under stress. Jerkiness in the breathless or unexpected size. You're going on with your sales pitch in because the feeling like they're being backed into a corner sort of thing. I know I've had this many a time. Their hands might be fiddling, not knowing what to do and nervous. I just want to get out of he restless or at odd, so one might be. Still one might be doing all sorts of things they think, probably tapping, shuffling or dawdling. So there it might be, leaning from one side to the honor on their think, getting ready to just walk the eyes, donning, Oh, an increase blink, right? So he they looking for an hour more or less. So what are the effects of in congruence? It often creates discomfort on others. So especially the other person experiencing that in Congress who isn't completely committed to that, they will feel like there's a pressure inside them. That body will probably be tense because I just want to get out of there. And it often listens confusion and others because you're telling them one thing but your body saying another. You can't hope but communicate if we go back to that. So you're communicating this mixed message to everybody else, and often others are left feeling that there's something wrong or not quite right. So even though I'm hearing yes from your about this thing. I'm not saying or feeling a yes and frequently incongruity elicits incongruity in others. So now that you're not committed, I'm not sure I'm committed to this whole thing. Whether we're working on something together, you're incongruent salutes to mine congruence or from trying to sell something. And there's a group of people you're in congruence who make them a bidding congruent. Now, here are some useful responses to incongruity. Notice it, but don't comment on it. Now ask, Is there a part of you which disagrees with what we've just said? Now this introduces the notion of parts as I mentioned before, and pace is the incongruity verbally, it allows you to elicit that hidden agenda. Now, I'm gonna be such an agenda, but their opinion on the place or thing or whatever it is you're trying toe, get them toe own up to more or less. You're asking for the honest answer more or less got after the complete representation. Ask What are you saying hearing feeling when you said that? So if again yeah, you can leading with the yet, but so when you hear what sounds like an in complaint sentence or an unfinished thought. Lean forward and very gently say. But now the word try has similar implications in that as well. But But I found his much useful When you get that. Yeah, yeah, but it normally gets him to in ways that have a really feeling or what their major concern is. Yeah, match it. Yeah. This will give you a greater sense of what's really going on. It'll heighten your awareness of the incongruity and give the information is how to deal with it. So I put yourself into their shoes as much as you can match it. So why that apprehensive? Play up one part in opposition to another, it often helps to amplify and pace one part. Yeah, they savor, draws it further into consciousness or amplifies the opposite polarity. So if you plant the part where they a green so much, it'll often be like World war No, I need to stop. So this is why Or if you plant the other partner like No, actually, I agree with this. I want to do this, that sort of thing now, Plage part in turn, so that you have report with both sides of the conflict and play by pots. Play the happy good, a graying side and play not so sure negative emotional sign. But it goes. I'm sure you have probably experienced incongruity yourself or with someone else. Like even think of school friends doing something that they're not really cane on doing. Oh, you went really came on doing itself. Why a back? Then think of hand you felt mice times that actually turns out run. But we just need to get ourselves that we need to have the conflict with pots he experienced. Why we're having that incongruity. Mostly, it's just because someone doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Really, at that point in time all, maybe it's not safe for them to disagree in that situation. But I goes, That's it for this one. Now you have some awareness off winning congruity strokes and what to do about it. That's it, for this one goes almost. Say you in the next lesson 10. External Indicators: welcome to external indicators of internal states. Some extent are indicators of things that you can caliber as you focus on these indicators developed your power of observation that is very important. It also focus your attention from the inner world of your thoughts to the outer world. What is really happening for the other person? In short, you were really saying rather than hallucinating. So you're saying what they're doing, what they're feeling, what the internal indicators are rather than hallucinating. All this person must be happy because I'm feeling happy. It is true that we will still have no idea what the other person is really thinking. However, you will be able to recognize their states side. When I smile. It should show happiness. Yeah, but how happy. So here's some visual indicators to look for the odd movements that people size and their eyebrows. What are their eyebrows doing? I farrowing are that raised? Are they just neutral their face? Heller faces moving their skin color. Are they blushing? Are they want is a ghost that sort of thing in their eyebrows? Once again, they met with the shape of the mouth, the lips, eyes. I think like they sucked on a lemon or have a full fled beautiful and the color of their lips to in the color of their mouth. Now they're breathing right? The location of the breath is it run in the top of the chest? Is it a good, nice, relaxed stomach breath in the fluidity of that breath as well? He's more visual indicators. That body, the muscle set out a tense, the head tilt. What's the abdomen doing like hunching over, They standing out strategy. I puffing their chest, their fate movement as well as that body posture. So how would I standing on that in a defensive position, Arms crossed? Or are they noticed? New, too relaxed, their shoulders, their shoulders creeping up because they're stressed and their hand gestures do they feel open and flowing with their hand gestures? Arrive a short, sharp, direct. Now they're a symmetry. So how is one side of the body coping with the other? Are they enlightment? Are they somewhat by? The left hand side is going nuts. This one's really jerky tents, their chest open for clothes or defeated and their fate. Alignment are both feet, pointing toward you on both feet facing out, meeting at the A little bit disinterested in what you're saying. I sort of things. Now they pulse might not be so easy to say straight up, but you might be able to see something in their neck or even just said, hot beating in their chest. The quality of that policies that nice, steady and how France IATA recovering You might have just gone for a Ronald Done something gold caught them surprising, even unable to recover quickly. Now, some of the auditory indicators, their voice, their pitch or frequency that they're using the rhythm of their voice. The imitation Patton, the tempo them what pauses they're using. They breathing once again. So is it Is it a breathy voice, The volume that they're using and this sentence length and they just Yep, yep, that's good. Or are they fully engaging with you now? Their internal dialogue. So what predicates would they be using? The recurring words and their phrases or sentences. Some of the kinesthetic indicators. The temperature, moisture, the pressure, all tremor. So if they have a bit of it trimmer going on, you know, if the temperatures, you know, nice, say roughly bad let's side 20 degrees Celsius because that's what what I use. I don't know what Farron Hunt does, but 20 degrees Celsius. You should being able to walk Iran, not sweating. Unlike run in, some of her gets toe 30 somewhere new 40. Sometimes they might be sweating there. So if its back at the 20 degrees in there sweating profusely, why what bellman indicates something's going on there. They feel a bit nervous, the moisture. So if it's humid here, they're gonna be moist. But if it's nice, dry conditions, I shouldn't really be moist on their skin. Now the olfactory indicators say you're smelling for perfume. Why are they wearing that perfume? Who were they trying to impress? A. Their clothes. What do their kleiss melt like? The sweat. Have they been working once again? Are they sweating profusely in a nice, normal situation or an air conditioning, the environment daring and the occupation that they do? So they might, you know, work with oils or something like I don't, for instance, and you hear, might smell a little oily, but if it if they don't work with oils and it does, then it might be like something to give something away. Maybe they've just had a massage. Some things to remember. He happy, angry side are all emotions a states that exist in the real figure. Now, when you use these terms in relation to others, you are hallucinating. You are observing another person's external indicators and telling yourself what you would feel with those indicators. So if someone might be smiling now, I mean, this is a dramatic example. Someone might be smiling because that's the way they've gotten out of fearful situations. So they might be smiling and looking happy and sweating profusely. So it tells you that something else is going on for you with that. So why you're observing that small? Think up. Maybe they're just a bit hot. Even they were in the air conditioning, so these are had to use the external indicators to the best of your ability to tell when something is actually happening. Oh, how they feeling? So I don't get caught up in your head about. That's how I would feel in this situation or with that big gaming small. I definitely feel happy because it might not be going on for them, but every guys that's it for this one. So something to look out for notice when something is out of place or how someone's feeling . But I will see you in the next lesson. 11. Re-frame and Pre-frame: in this lesson, we're gonna have a look at re framing and pre framing. Now, these are very important techniques for communication and to make a change, to get someone to see another way or another point of view on what they're talking about. So I'm moving into the ray fried. It is in a literal sense. It means to put a new or different frame around an image or experience. Sigh psychologically to re frame something means to transform its meaning by putting it into a different framework. So when you re frame, you bring about different meanings and changes to a person's response. You also shake up the middle of the world. So metaphors, stories, fairy tales and jokes, very good white way to reframe the situation in the information that you've been provided. So I think of it this way. Someone says something about someone or something in a very negative sense, whereas to you it's not that negative. So you put your perspective on it. You put a different frame around it. You make them seeing outside their box outside their model of the world. So when we re frying, we're looking to uncover the positives and regain choice once we're able to choose again Web back at cause now you're not free to choose when you say yourself pushed by forces beyond your control. So rather than being in control of situation, you're reacting to it. So you're at the effect of that as we went through with the cause and effect. Listen, so reframing is great at hoping you notice that you do have more room to maneuver and that you are in control. So that's why this is such an important, powerful technique, especially when dealing with other people and their issues. So there are two types of reframe. The context. Refrain all the content or meaning refrain. The basis of reframing is to separate the intention from the behavior. Sorry, let's have a look now at context reframing. And now it has to do with the fact that a particular experience behavior event will have different implications and consequences depending on the context with which it occurs. So an example. One X is really bad because of why, yes, but X is really good because of Z is the response to that So example to my 16 year old daughter is through stubborn for around good and doesn't do what others tell her. The response to that well, at least, should be about a handle. Aggressive dates. So then, if we move on to content reframing we're looking and involving shifting our perspective or level of perception with respect to a particular behavioural situation, for example, my boss is always yelling at me response. But he must really care about you. Ah, lot to be using up all of his time like that. So it puts a different perspective on that whole situation. Here we change the meaning of what the other person is saying. The content stays the same, but it's attached to other states. So to finish off, let's have a look at pre framing now, pretty framing, determined in advance what we will focus our attention on as well as what to not delay from their experience. It's also a powerful tool for placing someone in a state of change. So now, and a good example of this would be it aside to someone here is something that would be really fun to do. Then there would be paying attention toe all that is fun about the task. The reverse of this compay. This will be really difficult, but I think you will be able to finish today. Now then this would have them paying to attention toe all the difficulties all face in that task also. But doing that you did not elicit the state of resourcefulness needed to accomplish the task as a more fantastic would be. So when you're having fun, you're in a different state altogether different mindset. You're looking for more resources and stuff that you can use to that advantage. So think about your examples of prey framing. Think about how you approach things even in life. Those things like work. For instance, Do you gotta work with a sense of fun? Is it going to be fun to go to work? More than likely? Not so Then the day drags on. Everything becomes an effort, everything's harder. So if you change your pre framing for those experiences for those events, then you change. How results will you convey? Because people like to have fun. That is just a fact of life. Pretty much. But as soon as things become a bit difficult or become a bit repetitive, are boring on Looked at it is not fun. That's where everything starts to change. That's where everything starts to become a little bit negative. So use pray, framing to your advantage here, as well as reframing if someone comes in with a bit of a negative attitude. Like Boy, I hate this job, blah, blah, blah, not what I wanted the monument. Use that to your brief. Frame it in a way that at least you've got a job at Lacey's provide you with income to do what you want to after you're out of he those sort of things, but once again play with it. So it played with the pre framing for other people. So if you're a manager or an instructor, maybe you wanna tell people how much fun this lessons getting, debate, how much fun they're gonna have it work today, or what tasks and whatever else so you create have been a happier, more fun environment. More fun. Workplace to being, Mary goes. That's it for this one. Have a bit of fun, we're afraid, framing and pray frightening now these ones that are used a lot So when someone's in that mindset, when someone that has, they had effective something they won't be able to say. So it might take a couple of attempts to get them to see a different perspective, to say a different frame around things. But give it a go, see how Ugo of it, and I'll see you in the next lesson. 12. Eye Patterns: Hey, guys, And welcome to AIPAC. Now. This lesson is awesome if you like to know if people are lying to your where they're getting their information from. So I patent to tell us how people store their memories and how they're accessing that stored information by watching someone's arm movements were able to accurately access. If they're saying a picture hearing something, recalling a feeling we're talking with themselves, this is very important information when building report when selling and for overall communication. I love I patents. I just gotta say It's so interesting to watch as you're saying the next Listen after this, when we do the exercise with Amy, it's so interesting to watch where people's eyes go, the representation will be delivered through their words and their predicates. So he ah, the our position. So this is looking at it from another person. So now I'm going to say this is my left hand side. Given the camera and its rotation bit, this is a right sign up to the top left. Here we have constructed images, so there, visualizing or constructing something or the visually lying. So if you are someone to remember something in the they look up to their left. Keep in mind that this is my left hand's on their visually constructing something rather than if they go over to their right hand side upwards there remembering an image. So these are visually remembered images now. The same, too, with auditory. So over to the left. Is auditory construct constructing sounds? Does it sound right? So thinking about two sounds into mingled at one time, that's where they'd be going or thinking about how someone would sound or say something. An auditory remembering sounds. Now you might have remembered when I was talking about Richard Nixon, his shifty eyes. He's accessing this. How does that sound? How would it sound? How do I remember something similar sounding before? Because he was an auditory person? Yeah, and so remembering how someone sounds or what someone said all like a song, you be over to your right hand side now, down into the left, Hands on. This is my left where kinesthetic? We're checking out feelings. Have something feel now may not convey to how does something literally feel remember the feel of something, but it can also be emotional stuff, so I think about when people get yelled at or something. The dwindle down, the honest tend to dwindle down and stuff. Yes, I think stinking into that sad feeling. Now, this, too is important exams. Look up. Try and look up and right. So as you hold your test paper before you start going through it, try and have it up to your right hand side. This is my right hand's on as much as you can as you're reading the questions to start remembering things. The last thing you want to do it is to have it, Dan he and sink into feelings the anxieties and everything else that you feeling for that test, then over to the bottom, right hand side, internal dialogue. So talking with yourself, that logical part of your brain while straight ahead could be visualization as well as well , as I've seen in other bits, internal dialogue. Yeah, we got some questions to release it on a patents. Now these will be in the example in the next lesson as well, but by only sitting I patents, we understand. If the person were working with is normally organized, all reverse organized, it's important that you look directly at the person while asking the questions is that our movements will occur very rapidly. And now, if you ask a multifaceted sort of question, they may died around a little bit all over the place, accessing different part of information. No, at times a person's. I may not go directly to the exact location. Now this could be for many reasons. For example, if I was to ask, what question would you ask Trump, which is an auditory construct, and the person's eyes went to visual recall So they were calling the image of Trump Audio, Digital said. They're thinking about Trump. What question would I ask you? And then to kinesthetic getting the feelings about how they feel about Trump, then toe audio, construct, visual recall and then back toe audio construct what's happening in their mind? So that's what I'd ask him. That's what he looks like, said. What sort of reaction would he have? And then I asked him again. So that's the sort of thing it can happen when asking a multifaceted question. So visual break all questions recalling an image or picture said they should be looking up to their top right. Who were the first find people that you saw this morning. How many windows do you have in your home? Imagine you're Landrum. What color is the interior, and can you remember your first day at school? Now, if you want visual, construct questions so this is making up or creating a picture or image, imagine what you would look like. Repairable hand. Imagine the top half of the bird on the bottom half of the dock. Now imagine your favorite outfit if it was covered in spaghetti sauce. So we're constructing those images, getting them to imagine things. So it is important to note to that. Reverse organized Will bay just that their eyes flick gala. So rather than going up to the top left, they'll go to their top right for visual construct. So everything's just flipped from that image before auditory recall questions. Remembering sounds of voices internally, listen to your favorite song. Imagine the sand of fingernails on a chalkboard, which just got me a bit of a hey, B J B. How does your car engine sound now that noticed to their That's your car engine, which you should know the sound off if you own a car. Not how does any McClaren engine sand? What does the Tesla's sound like is, It starts up unless you want a Tesla, but it's something about yours or what San remind you of ice cream. You know, auditory construct questions, creating and imagining you sounds Imagine what I would sound like with Donald Duck's voice . Now imagine the sand of a saxophone in a cement truck at the same time. So getting them to imagine two things together or something different. Like what question Would you ask Trump? What would his response be like? Or even what would trump saying like Is a total clan? Probably the same? Now I can a set of questions. Have feelings, emotions or sensations. So imagine the feeling of snow in your hand. When was the last time you touched a cooking utensil? Ah, hot cooking utensil. How would it feel if a balling ball dropped on your time and feel the love you have for the person you love the most? So you can get into the emotional stuff? What's the saddest memory you have? What's the happiest memory? You have those sort of things as well, getting into the more emotional side of things finishing up without orders. Hurry digital questions. So the internal talk, the dialogue in the self conversation internally. What are the words to your favorite song now? Noting here, too, that we did say something about your favorite bit of music. June is a creative part, so that is where the auditory bit comes in. The words are a logical part. So he that's why they're in the auditory digital. You know, you might go there first before you go down to Auditory Digital. So I'm I gotta auditory remember before you got auditory digital to get the music to get the words singing Take a moment to listen to the sound of your inner voice And what did you eat for lunch or do you know? But in my guys to see this more emotion like I mean, I'm not thinking about these questions that moment, but I got any me to do it and I didn't would her up on what we were doing it all. I just filmed her face. Um, yeah, with that Olave the the picture there for this lesson in the race horses blow so that you can refer back to it and learn which way what is and why goes. That's it for this one. I'll see you in the next lesson. 13. Eliciting Eye Patterns: and welcome back in this lesson where having a look at eliciting those I patents. Sorry, I'm he doesn't know the questions that are coming, and we're just gonna have a look at her natural response. She has been welded up just to keep facing the camera. But later on is go where they need to go. Sorry, Christian one. Imagine you'll, Andrew. One easy interior, Cal. Uh, and fixing good. I can't and Christian too. Imagine what you would look like with people. Hey, um uh, even that. Okay, Christian three internally. Listen to your favorite song. Have you got a favorite song? Nice. Like I It's really excellent. That's good. That's good. Hair does your kai's engines and horrible. Yep. Cool. Okay. Now, imagine what I would sound like. Donald Duck voice you could make. Can you imagine that? No, really, That's OK. So then I want you to imagine the sand, Have a sex if I Anderson meant truck at the same time. Okay, Like I now I want you to imagine the feeling of snow in your hands. That's again. That's OK. That's OK. Yeah. How would it feel? It's a bowling ball dropped on your time. Thank you. Now, what do you want To eight full lunch tomorrow? Something healthy? It's good. Thank you. What do you want to eat for lunch or dinner tonight? Preferably again. Something healthy, you know. What question would you ask? Donald Trump. Okay. Excellent. So, as you can see, most of the time arrives went where they were supposed to go, but to having a reference for what we're asking helps in this situation. So for some of them, you realize that Amy didn't know like, for instance, her favorite song. So she went up into recalling visually her favorite song. But seeing is that fan Nothing. She wasn't actually able to go over to auditory of remember for that favorite song. And it's a bit like I said in the last lesson where the eyes end his way. You're looking at because maybe they do have to visually recall something or visually create something before you can get to when you're after and the last one on the Odier digital. It was very interesting to say how much I mean, you dip down into the kinesthetic. The feeling of what a rather than thinking about hair, it is and that's part of a Mia's. Well, she's very much more in touch with your feelings. Then she would be toe over, analyze or think of anything like that. But in my guys, that is a simple, simple look at eliciting those on patents that syphilis listen, I will see you in the next life. 14. Hierarchy of Ideas : in this lesson, we're gonna have a look at the hierarchy of I DS. So the hierarchy of ideas describes how to master the art of communication by controlling the flow of the conversation or ideas from abstract right down to a specific advice versus a going between the two. Now, as we get into that, that will be the meta and the Milton models of communication. So in a mediation you want to chunk up as we call it, So going up the levels to get an agreement while to get more details and to get more specific, we chunk it down. So get various to the concept of chunking, whether it's up or down during your communication. So when we're after Mawr examples, I was something we chunk laterally so across to the side. Now there'll be some examples of this coming up very shortly, so junking up is to get to an agreement. We also chunk up to separate intention from behavior and to bring people into trance. So the more abstract in the more airy fairy and blase that we get, we get people into trance, so this is starting to move a little bit into that hypnotic language that NLP is pretty much famous full so you can ask following three example questions. What is an example of this? For what purpose? What is your intention? And imagine that. What would that then give you? So when we move into it to our part integration, we're taking two different parts. So let's just say, for example, one that thinks you aren't good enough and one that thinks you aren't good enough and we chunk up to find the common intention for that part. So we say, Imagine on the good enough side. Imagine having that strength that it gives you. What would that then give you? So eventually you'll get to something like peace, contentment, happiness. So then what's apart? The negative part trying to teach you, You know something for, and eventually you get to the positives and you'll get to that pace and contentment. Have we? That might sound just giving it as a 32nd or even 22nd a little bit there. It does work, and it is amazing to watch happen. Now, Chungking down. On the other hand, we chunk down to get more details and distinctions. We also chunk down to maintain agreement for action and to bring people out of trains. Now, you can us the following three examples of questions when you Chungking down. So what are some examples of these? What specifically and any meta metal question as well get into in the following lessons So a letter or chunking to get other examples? You know, the structure of intention is the ability for one to chunk up fun connections and relationships and then chunk back down and relate that to the current situation. We ask, what are other examples of these? Simple. What else is like this? Now we have an example of a high rocky. So right at the top is existence. So something exists now weaken. So the best way to put that in if you chunk up all the way. So people exist with animals exist with plants exist with technology, cars, everything like that. Everything has an existence. So here we're moving, then Chungking down movement. So things that move, we move. But then we want to tamp down into transport. So we've gone from something exists to something, moves to transport and then more specifically, cars. So what other examples of transport do we have? We have planes, buses, boats, trains, but we want to get more specific. So when we're talking about cars were just talking about the steering, and the wheels are a part of that steering. So part of the wheels is the rims that were Chungking Dan to that specific thing off the wheel nuts in this case. So we're just getting that detail of the wheel Nuts is what that person was talking about when they were talking about transport. Okay, I was most specifically, but also to hear going down Chungking Dan, we have a sedan, a certain topic cow, but it could also be a sports car or a four wheel drive. The other examples of what this is like then Chungking down. So we're getting a specific brand afford to a falcon to annex, all right to a blue ex IRA getting right down to the specifics of it. But let's say someone's talking about Ford's being better than Volvos or BMWs. We chunk up to find OK, well, what about just the dance? I will sedans and better than formal drives. OK, so both parties can agree on that, so cows better than planes or cars, um, or applicable them planes in this case, then we might have to just trunk up to transport and get them talking about how good transport is to get an agreement on that. Using this example now, I mean, there are plenty of other things where you might be able to say that. So let's just say vegans versus May daters, for example. But if someone talking about the same thing Ah, he's so you know, one saying eating animals is good, one saying it's been but maybe they can both ground that plants a good so getting right up into living things or existence in this case. Now go to trace. How good is a plant here? Goto that sort of thing just to get that agreement. So in summary, always remember that language is a continuum of abstraction to detail across the different representational systems, be observant of others, not their representational systems and the level of abstraction that they use. Now going along with that, Be aware that as you have a favorite representational system, the V a k or auditory digital, you also have a favorite Chungking level. So Ah, you someone who gets right down to the details. Are ou more abstract in there? Or more blase is another way of putting it in a monster. Communiqu kinda is a linguistic chameleon. So what? You just start to become that linguistic chameleon, constantly changing representational systems and Chungking levels so you can go from talking detail to talking abstract IRNA win as well as moving across those representational systems. So that's when you really start to master communication. When you can adapt, gain report instantly and start working all over the place on these levels takes practice certainly does. But that is why you get along with someone more than you would be someone else because they're working on your Chungking levels on your representational system as well. So asking What is this an example of one or many times to check up So a car is an example of transport. Transport is an example of movement in this case that we were going for on that example. Ask what other examples of this toe literally chuck. So another transport example of the new cars applying is a bus is a boat. Ask what are examples of this as many times is native to chunk back down. So what is another example of a car? Well, a sedan or what else is this like going deeper into those levels into that detail? But my guys, that is a hierarchy of ideas. Very brave, sort of look at it. But that is basically what you doing, Whether you're chunking up, Dan or literally across started to get used to these i. D. This comes up so often and start to explore the other areas. Not just your favorite Chungking level, but my guys. That's it for this lesson. I will see you in the next line. 15. Meta Model: in this system, we're gonna talk about the meta moral. So the meta model our models that identified language patterns that obscure Mahaney in communication through the process of distortion, delay, shin and generalization. It includes specific questions to clarify and challenge imprecise language to connect it back to the sensory experience and the deep structure. This comes from Ban Lynn and Grendlers modeling of Virginia's a team who would use language to clarify language in order to reconnect the words people use with their experience. Now you can use the meta model to gain more understanding of people's maps. It probes the deep structure of language by questioning the surface structure, which is what we would normally use in ordinary communication. So your surface structure is normally how you saved things to a friend. Just minimum details, which will include your delish ins, distortions and generalizations, which will get into now to understand the metal model. Let's first look at how thoughts and translated into words so I thought encapsulate infinitely more meaning than language can ever express. Yet even given this limitation, language does not exist that a deep level in out urology and when necessary, we can can express considerable date on which lies behind what we say now. This is what we call the deep structure. So most of the time, though, and language does not reach this deeper level, we normally talk surface structure. The sentence Lorna is a very intelligent child illustrates surface language. All the additional information about Lorna and her intelligence, you know, in what way, compared to what or who who says so etcetera forms the deep structure of the surface statement before any delay, shins, distortions or generalizations. Now, in the same way we filter the massive information taken in by our sensors. So going back to that blueprint of behavior, we create surface structure from the deep structure by continuously distorting do leading and generalizing language. So with that in mind, we will have a look at some of the examples of distortions, generalizations and relations. So here are some distortions. One is moderating. Now. This is claiming to know someone's internal state with the example you don't like me. Response. How do you know I don't like you? This becomes a sourcing information or lost performative, which is a value judgment where the person doing the judgment is left out. So it's wrong to criticise very general sort of statement, like leaving themselves at a criticising for criticizing. Yahoo says. It's bad according to whom? How do you know it's bad? So here again is evidence. It recovers the source of the belief, the performative and it's strategizes a belief here number three is cause and effect. So where causes wrongly put outside of the self, you make me sad. How does what I'm doing cause you to choose to feel sad, or how specifically here recovers the choice? Because once again, we're being it cause and effect. That person is chosen to feel sand from whatever you're doing. Complex equivalence. Where to experiences that interpreters being synonymous. She's always yelling at me. She doesn't like me. How does her yelling main that Have you ever Yodit someone that you liked, said he. It recovers the complex equivalents, and it provides a bit of a counter example is, well, number five at pre suppositions. So here is information that it's just assumed to be true within the sentence. So if my husband you have much I suffered, he wouldn't do that. Now there are three presupposition t that I suffer. My husband acts in some way, and my husband doesn't know that I suffer So you can respond with number one. How do you choose to suffer once again? Cause and effect? How is he acting or reacting? And how do you know? He doesn't know. So he was specifying the choice in the verb and what he does. We recovered the internal representation and the complex equivalence said that one sort of putting it all to get up now moving on to generalizations. So our universal qualifies universal generalizations such as all every never everyone and no one etcetera. So she never listens to me. Fine counter examples such as in never or what would happen if she did. Listen, this gathers evidence. It becomes a source of that belief and the performative in the strategy for the belief motile operators of necessity such as should shouldn't must must not have to need to. It is necessary. I have to take care of her. What would happen if you did? What would happen if you didn't? Oh, so here we're going for that choice. So what would happen if you did take care of her? Where if you didn't take care of her. I have to take care of her. Or so we're getting what is happening afterwards. So people say that they need something. Well, what if you didn't have it? Those sort of things near motor operators a possibility or impossibility such as Ken can't will. What may may not possible. Impossible. I can't tell him the truth. What prevention? What would happen if you did tell him the truth? It recovers the effects, the outcome. And it recovers the course to man on relations. So he normalization process words which have been frozen in time. Making them now owns. There is no communication here. Response. Who's not communicating, what to home? How would you like to communicate? So it turns back into a process recovers the dilation and the referential index to unspecified verbs. He rejected me how specifically it specifies verb. So it rejected. That could mean so many different things. Sasae many different people. And I mean, maybe it's not rejection. Maybe it's just disinterest or someone clearly not saying what you're putting their sort of thing. Simple relations. I am uncomfortable about one her. So why you uncomfortable So he because of DeLay did the information there that makes them uncomfortable. Then we got the lack of referential index. So this founds to specify a person or thing. They won't listen to me who specifically won't listen to you because all that information's been delayed ID Am I gonna last one Comparative relations such as in good, Better, best worse, more or less most least, she is a better person. Better than whom? Better at what? Compared to him or what? So we're finding out that comparative dilation want as opposed to. So he is some ways to probe for more information. I mean, I'm pretty good at this in clinic situations. When someone says, Oh, they just don't do that it's like, Who don't do that. What is that sort of thing? What would it be like if they did? Oh, I can never be happy. Can you imagine being happy? What would it be like if you let yourself be happy, those sort of things? So play around with these ones. Guns. There's a big and I would say hard, but it's hard for the person because you should automatically know what I'm talking about, that sort of thing, Barry Guys, that's it for this one. I'll say you in the next lesson 16. Milton Model: So now let's have a look at the milk model. Now. The milk model is a set of language patterns that can take the user or have you take someone into trends way they can access Unconscious Resource is that they didn't know they had make changes and solve their own problems. Now the milk model is known after Milton Erickson, one of the most influential of all hypnotherapist, so near the milk model uses the same sort of patterns as the meta model, except in reverse. So whereas the meta model aims to gather more information, the milk model aims to reduce the detail, deliberately adopting vague language that can be acceptable to different people. So here we were getting specific with the meta model. Now we're getting more vag now before we jump into it. Another thing on the milk model is that this is years, for when talking to a crowd of people, you know how some people have described when they're watching a presenter on stage. It's like they're really talking right to me. They're using the Milton model to be vague enough to give the illusion that they're talking more to year as well as everybody else in the room. But that comes, too, with a bit of communication, eye contact, looking around the room, that sort of thing as well. So this is really handy for presentations, for speeches, for things where you want to gauge the most amount of attention out of people. Sorry, beginning the mind raid is claiming to know the thoughts or feelings of another without specifying the process by which it came to that information. I know that you're wondering So you're putting the idea in their head that they wondering the lost performative value judgments where the performer of the very judgment is left out and it's a good thing to remember, but who's remembering cause and effect where it is implied that one thing causes another. Now, these can include I makes bay if then as you then you. And because so when you do this you get this. If you do this, then you get this as you do this. Then you get this and this happens because you've done this that sort of thing complex equivalents where two things are acquited, as in the remaining being equivalent. One thing means something else that mains so you have a statement, and then you're saying that means it could be something completely different that you're joining the meanings off. So example here you've been going for hours. You must be tired in that. Going for hours means that you will be tired presupposition, which is a linguistic equivalent of assumptions. You are learning many things now. I can say that about is course you want learning many things well, in your head, you're thinking, I don't know what the hell I'm learning. I'm interested on engaged whatever, but I tightened over there. I'm learning anything because it's all a bit of a blur. But he says, I am, so I must be universal. Quantify instead of words having a universal generalization or no referential index and all the employees you will never. So it's an absolute sort of thing and includes save everybody, a motel operator, words which imply possibility or necessity and which form our rules. In life. You can learn, so it gives that possibility. You must come, which is a necessity. You should learn and implied necessity. No mineralization. So process words which have been frozen in time, making them into Nan's provide you with new insights and understandings, so there's no choice about it. It just will provide you with these new insights and understandings. An unspecified verb number nine. The process word lacks a complete description. The what? How or when remains unspecified. And you can. There's no time frame in that or when one or how it's just you will the tank question a question added after a statement designed to displace resistance. Can you know? So he's someone might say something black. You can drive a car, can you not? So, yeah, you can. So it gets rid of that resistance. You can go into trance. Can you know lack of referential index, a phrase which does not identify who or what the speaker refers to. One Can. You know number 12 the comparative dilation where the comparison is made and is not specified as toe want or whom it was made. And it's moralists around thing that's not so bad. So they were not specifying good, bad, right, wrong, anything like that. It's just about what it's made from pacing. Current experience where clients experience old person's experience, merits, verifiable or external, is described in a way which is undeniable. So you're sitting here listening to me looking at me. So this helps create that report as well. If you're presenting. So that person, it's pretty undeniable that they're sitting there the day listening to you and that they looking at here. So as you sit there listening to me, looking at me, watching me here on stage or whatever the case May Day now double bind something I personally love to using clinic a lot because this pattern creates the illusion of choice. It's never like you're telling this person you will change or you will do this sort of thing. For an example, would you prefer to make that change now or simply let it happen As we talk, it implies that the change will happen, whether it's now well, just that little bit later, your unconscious mind is learning something else, and I don't know whether you'll discover what you've just like now, in a few moments from now or some time later. Once again, it gives the illusion of choice, but you will discover what you've just learned. I like to use that to I did. I, um, demonstration for one of my black belt gratings on using language to negotiate yourself out of here. Now I used you Don't have to listen to you, mate. So don't. This is talking someone down from fighting? Yeah. If they mites tryingto get them out of there as well. So you don't have to listen to your might. It allows them to imagine listening today might. But sooner or later, you'll realize that he's right in trying to talk you down from this fight so it gives the illusion of choice. Now, man, it's not gonna work on everybody. Some people will be focused on trying toe knock your head off in this case, but it gives that choice if they're not 100% committed to knocking your head off. In this case, it will give that give them on that little bit of a jump, then maybe give you time to just get the hell out of there or whatever the case May Bay number 15 conversational postulate referring to pasta of that person. The communication has a form of a question, a question to which the answer is either yes or no. It allows you to choose to respond or not, and avoids authoritarianism so having authority over someone, could you just look up for a moment? So you're getting someone to change their posture? Now you will find the answer might be, Yes, I can. But more often than not, the person will actually look up. Or can. You may have a little to the left, so it's a nice way of saying it rather than just look it, that sort of thing. Extended quote a Siris of context called chaining tends to overload the conscious mind and disassociate the speaker from what they are saying. Last week I talked to Tony, who told me about the exhibition in Sydney when he talked to someone who said So they were just overloading the brain. The listener will switch off now. This is hard for someone who whose mind is always running and thinking about what they saying myself. Normally, in a conversation, I would cape things very brief. Yes, no answers. They don't rub good, that sort of thing. So from May, to ramble on like that is so I have to practice that one selection ALS restriction violation, a badly conceived, a logical statement that does not make sense. A chair can have feelings. If you would Asakawa, how would it feel about that? Oh, only humans and animals can have feelings so the car can have feelings so it won't feel anything about that or a chair. Having feelings is a completely illogical thing number. It ain't ambiguities which comes in a few different parts. So first we gotta have final logical Jack. Supposing homonyms So here here can cause confusion and direct attention unconsciously to the out of context. Meaning Sorry for an example of this, he said after a speech. So you want paper here and you also want them to be here syntactic when the function or this syntactic of a word cannot be immediately determined from the immediate context. Thank visiting relatives. Sorry. Here is visiting a verb or adjective or the Skype for the last one. For em big unities where it cannot be determined by linguistic context. How much one portion of a sentence applies to another. Speaking to you as a child who it is as a child refer to Is that the speaker or the listener? Read it once again. You think it determines that you're the child in most cases, but maybe I'm speaking to you as a child, I would, and the last one for that part punctuation. So your run on sentences now, some people are really good at these ones. I want you to notice your hand me that glass. So he I want you to notice your hand. Hand me that glass. But they just kept running on with that sentence, which can also include pauses as well with punctuation. So you feeling better now? An incomplete sentences. So you are. If you can change that, then perhaps so you're not. You're leading them on having them hanging on your word for what you're saying, but also sort of meaning something else. Number 19 utilisation using spoken words are immediate happenings around in your communication and the sound of the traffic in the distance. Now they don't make sense right now, so he was putting it all together. Now I know that you're wondering and it's a good thing to wonder, because that means you were learning many things and all the things all the things that you can learn provide you with new insights and new understandings. And you can can you know, one can, you know, and it's more or less of right thing. You're sitting here listening to me looking at me, and that means that your unconscious mind is also here and can hear what I say. And since that is the case, you're probably learning about this and already know more in an unconscious level than you think you do. And it's not right for me to tell him. Learn this alone, that let him learn in any way that he wants in any order. Do you feel this is something you understand? Because last way goes with John, who told me about his training in 1990 ICT in Brisbane when he talked to someone who said a check and have feelings So that is putting all the milk model together. There's not much information. If you think about it, there's not much. It's actually being said that it's all very vague, but it'll somewhat makes sense. But in my guys, this one is one to practice being bag. Now this too, leads into chunking up, which will get into with the hierarchy of ideas site. We're being vague enough that everybody's on the same sort of punch, but we'll get more into that later. There are guys. That's it for this one. Practice with this. Get it. Perfect. This will help you, especially in a presentation way. Many more effective. If your communication Mary. Guys, I will see you in the next lesson. 17. Presuppositions of Language: in this system, we're gonna go through the presuppositions of language now. Presuppositions language, a language tip offs. The real power of mental pains based upon presuppositions as it helps us understand that person's model of the world. There are nine presuppositions that are the most common and give your great idea of that person's internal representations. So these are existence now. So persons, places or things, possibility or necessity, the assumption that it is possible or necessary cause and effect. Because if this happens, then that happens. Complex equivalent when this means that, as in the remaining is equivalent or equal or synonymous awareness to know, to sense, to feel, to hear, to see, to taste or any verb dealing with the five centers time all verbs have intense, such as past present future now. Yet stop or to install a resource from the past or present, add verbal adjective modifiers, then give the expression two verbs or now owns. Look for out of place, one such as totally or really or which is an inclusive or exclusive. It's set up for double blinds. You could have this all that every all includes or excludes some think so. Think about that, too. In our language, you can have this or that. Not both my mother going to go to John's or that so much. Making a choice between something orginal implies a list, and he's always related to time, such as 1st 2nd 3rd Sorry, he can have a list off orginal things. Science. First the clouds came. Then the rain, that sort of thing. So here are a few examples of this and what they include. I should get back to school or I won't get a job. Now. This one includes a cause or effect, so school equals job as well as complex equivalents. Then I feel I am ready for a relationship now. This includes time because I'm ready for that. I've had enough time dealing with that as well as an awareness. Be feeling ready. You can go to the shop now or after the football match. Now this includes time is there's a now and after as well as an inclusive all as it takes you into the existence off the football match. So there's this event that's happening so you can go after that. I can see how some of the things I was doing. It just made me unhappy. Now this includes an awareness as well as time as we're looking into the past With the doing and a cause and effect The things I made I was doing made me unhappy. First came the clouds and came the rain. This is the birth cause and effect an orginal If only he had come home on time, the party wouldn't have gone out of control. So this one can't contains a cause and effect as well as complex equivalents. So if it came home on time, it all depends on him coming home a time. The party wouldn't have got out of control. Sorry if he was there. Party under control. So these are some of the presuppositions now in the provide a bit. I've left a few more examples in there as well. So I want you to go through and pick out the presuppositions in those sentences. Justus, the little excellence just have something to practice. But in the rowboat toe, think Or next time you're speaking with someone and I say some sentence like this think Was that a complex equivalent cause and effect? Er is that a bit of both. Or is it an orginal language that they using? What's the awareness in this bonus sort of things? But it goes, That's it for this one. I'll see you in the next lesson. 18. Three Positional Reframe: and welcome. What we're gonna go in with now is the three positional brief reign. So we've done a verbal linguistic reframe. This one is taking it to that next step. So I love this process. Now hear me say that all What fruit of the various processes that we don't. But this one hopes solving argument when the other person isn't even there. So we help the person to reframe and step back or disassociate from the problem. So the three positional refrain is a very useful technique when dealing with issues that concern another individual. It assisting, being ableto come at the situation. So that argument ive had with someone or that disagreement that you've had be someone or someone who just irks you won't being able to leave the emotion out of it, and then that allows you a choice in a new feeling in the same situation. So Step one is to actually have the person look at the individual. So you're imagining looking at the individual that you've got this argument with this disagreement with. Now you can do this one a little bit by yourself. It's not as effective as having someone else do it with you or for you, but or you being the practitioner, helping someone else go through something that's irking them about someone else. So you imagine that you're looking at the individual for you having that person look at the individual that they've got a conflict with you. Tank up the body shape is that you were in front of them. So you get your body language. So if you really defensive, you would crush your arms, you know, fire you, brown. Whatever the case may be, if it's someone who intimidate, you're scared. You imagine them standing there over the top of year on your sinking down into that body language as well. So you think the thoughts and you feel the feelings that you would normally feel with that person in front of you we're in front of them is the cash my day. So then we have just a little graphical representation of it. One person, he one person here looking at each other. Now we leave all the feelings behind if we can. Now this might take a few steps, which is why it's But we're moving into the third position suspect. So as you move out. You leave all the feelings, the animosity, everything in that first person. So now you're stepping into that third person position in the third person. We're looking for a total neutral emotional response, so it should be a blank state, a complete nothingness looking at them. But now that might not work. So what we're going to do there is move to 1/4 person, if any emotion remains at all in relation to the event and the individual in front of you, step into 1/4 person and 1/5 person, even a six person, if needed, until you reach a totally emotion, emotionless or neutral state. Now you when you find that emotionless state for that neutral state where you look back at the person now, another point their trees as you go from the third person to the fourth person you're looking only at the third person. You're not paying attention to the original argument that might be over. There. You are looking at it as I'm watching this person watch these people have the argument. How do I feel about watching this person then, if you were to step back, if you still had any feelings. If you're getting caught up with whatever is happening over there and step back to 1/5 person, you're just watching that fourth person who's watching that third person who's watching those two people and so on and so painful. So you're not actually paying any attention to the original argument that's going on over there. You're just focusing on the person who's focusing on that person who's focusing on that person someone and so forth until you get to that person who's watching those to have this argument. So it's disassociating down through steps. So when you reach that neutral state you wanna anchor now anchors will go on with in just a minute in the next section but the neutral state. So that might just be asking the person. How do you feel looking at this person watching this person watching this person? And they say nothing. You want to reinforce that you might just use a verbal anchor good, or you might just give him a pat on the shoulder. Excellent. So you've got that state anchored now you want to make sure that is a totally claimed state . You don't want any off that old state. So whether it's fee, anger, resentment, whatever it is that they're feeling towards that original person in that original situation , you don't want any that you have to make sure that it's clean. But once you get that, anchor it and reinforce that anchor, make sure that ankle work. So each and every time you fire that off, whatever that anchor is, it is that neutral state. Then we come back through the layers. So how do you feel watching this person watching this person much in that? Yep, cool. So step back into this position here. How do you feel on fire off the anchor? So they should, even if anything was to come up, it should be crushed by that anchor of that neutral state all the way back to that third person. Then, when you're back in the third person watching, those two people have that argument. Find that anger, make sure that they do completely feel that neutral state. They shouldn't go back into any other body posture than that neutral state. Now you ask them to learn about the relationship between those two individuals. So as they're looking at these two people having this argument all. Whatever the case may be that how did they feel and what can they learn about that? Sorry, you're not. How can they feel? What can they learn about these two individuals? Then you ask a person to step into the second person and take up their body shape. So now we're taking up the person who is causing us grief or that person growth and take up the body shape is if they're actually standing there, looking at themselves or yourself or whatever the case may be. I think the thoughts and feelings of that second person as if you're actually looking at yourself, the first person ask the person, What do you say? What do you think of this person? One is the second person's attitude towards that first person. Well, what's this put and you want to leave? It is the first person you don't want to say. What does your dad think of you, for instance, because then you're putting them right back into it. So you do want to leave that names or anything like that as well. Ben. Very important step. He stepped back into the third person, taking what you've learned so you can create Mawr impairing wise to deal with the situation . And it's also a step out of state because you're not taking the second person into the first person. But now, from the third person perspective, you want to step into the first person, look at the second person and try to have the old feelings. So we say try here because to try and plus the foul, if they still do have the old feelings, it might be time for another process. You might have to do something else to get them out of that state now a special night. Months, I said there never stepped from the second person to the first person. Always travel with that third person, then to the first person to keep those two people, states and emotion wells there clear. But you want to carry the learnings over from the second to the third to the first, but it goes now will go on for demonstration of this one just so you see, or get the mechanics of it, how it works in the real world. So for the demonstration, we're joined by the lovely Amy Seimetz. Now, in fact, Amy's actually angry at the moment because he we have a person who she argues with almost every day and Angus her. So how do you feel standing here looking at this personality? Well, yeah. They obviously make me quite angry that that I listen to what I have to say. All right, Cool. Now, being that this could be a work situation or a sport situation, this isn't a handy thing to have the same between these two people sigh. Why don't you to do any? You don't get you to stand. He So after the purpose of the demonstration, you were gonna explain a little bit, but we've never say, How do you feel looking at yourself looking at this person? So what was that? A Chinese? How do you feel watching these two people? Are you a little affected by it? Yeah. Okay. All right. So I get you to stand here, and you're just watching this person who's watching these two people have an argument. And how did you feel watching this person? I really feel anything good. So they and we want to make sure that that is very claimed state. So what do you mean by not feeling anything. You just you know nothing. It all pretty much. Yeah, Just pretty calm. You true? Good. So we're creating thank you hear on the TV show. So now I'll get Amy to go back into that last position. Far off that ankle before I ask you, How do you feel now? Watching these two people have that argument? Yeah. Really Feel anything? Good. Excellent. Now, OK, you to stand into this person, you take on their body shape and stuff until me. How did they feel having this person being angry towards him? How long they feel? A bit attacked. Yeah. Cool. And how does it feel to be attacked? Well, it doesn't feel very good. Yeah, right. So you just stand back into this position and just tell me now with that new inside. Looking back at this argument, these two people arguing heavy feel about this argument now, a bit more sympathy for that person. Yep. Cool. You know, you stand into your original position, and here we want a floor off the anchor again before we ask. How do you feel towards this person now? All right. Don't feel is angry. Good Yep. So has it feels, you know, these angry What new things do you feel towards this? I do feel more com. Good, Good. Now, that was very easy for the purpose of the demonstration. So way went from he watching one most it watching these person. But for instance, if we went to he, I mean, that could go on for he he he okay satispay and keep going to break that up. But saying we'll get you to come back. He I mean and then back to he watching that person. Now if he doesn't break that I'm feeling, then she still feels it really strongly. What I might do it is to then change her position so get used in the 60. Any now you're watching this person who's watching this person watching these people and that sort of things are changing her high, changing her stance, changing the white she's standing. So I might get her to stand on one leg, for instance, in one position just to further break that state and disassociated from the original feelings that she had. He But that's it goes. Remember, clean states when you break that state, you want them feeling is calm, mutual as possible and then firing off that anchor which will get into Internet. Listen all the way back to that original spot. It goes. That's it for this lesson. I will see you in the next one. 19. Module 2 Conclusion: and this brings us to the end old model to son. Something's concept. Maybe a little bit hard to GREss. So there are the PDS for the projects for this one. Go through redos, rewatch the lessons until it sticks. It's a little bit different to what you probably used to, but that's okay. It's just letting and you skill. Now I'm not saying get out there and be the sleazy cells person ever. But just use the skills to enhance your communication to get more data on. Oh, if you're using the milk model being more vag so it feels like you're talking to the whole room rather than just individual people at a time. But in my guys put these skills to the test. Have fun with it, most importantly, because that's I find the best way to learn is that have a bit of fun with what you're doing. But all right, guys, thank you so much for taking these calls. If you could leave a review, that would be excellent. Oh, hit me up. Let me know what I can improve on. Let me know what else you would like to say in his communication Coast Very goes. That's it for May. I'll see you in the next course