NLP Emotional Management - Mindfulness Interaction Self-Coaching | Patrick Howell | Skillshare

NLP Emotional Management - Mindfulness Interaction Self-Coaching

Patrick Howell, International Best-Selling Instructor

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7 Lessons (26m)
    • 1. Intro to Mindfulness

      1:38
    • 2. What is Mindfulness Release

      3:53
    • 3. 4 Actions to Make the Mindful Release Sustainable

      3:00
    • 4. Step 1: Identify the Physical Corollary

      4:27
    • 5. Step 2: Clarify & Name

      3:36
    • 6. Step 3: Turn Towards

      3:56
    • 7. Step 4: Release - NLP "Theater in the Mind" Release Technique

      5:14

About This Class

Mindfulness Meditation and NLP Release - Mind-Body Method to Let Go of Unhealthy Emotional Pain & Anxiety it Causes

7955580e

Transcripts

1. Intro to Mindfulness : So let's go ahead and begin this particular course with an acknowledgement and acknowledgement that pain, anxiety, anger, frustration. All of these turbulent emotions are part of what it means to be human. They're part of what it means to be alive. If you experience an upsetting situation, then hurt were. Anger may be the appropriate emotion and reaction in that particular moment, however. And here is the, however, if you continuously struggle to rain in turbulent emotions and to bring those unhealthy emotions and the anxiety that those unhealthy emotions cause if you struggle to bring them under your control than this course on the mindfulness training method and the NLP release technique is for you. What makes the mindful release process so unique is that the techniques that this system relies upon they're not designed to help you to produce some sort of metaphysical outer body experience. Instead, mindfulness and the mindful release process works by increasing your awareness of the present moment. It works by settling emotional unrest, quieting your anxiety and helping you to place some distance and some perspective on your anger 2. What is Mindfulness Release : in part because of the media's attention to mindfulness, especially over the last few years. The concept and the definition of mindfulness can get convoluted, a little bit confusing. The truth is, however, it's not. Mindfulness is really quite simple. Mindfulness is the practice of directing your attention, of directing your focus to the present moment to the thoughts, the sensations, the feelings that you're experiencing right now in this moment. And to do that without any filters, without any judgment about those feelings. Those thoughts, those sensations without the filter of this is good. This is a good thing where this is a bad thing. This is right. This is wrong. This is helpful. This is harmful without any of those filters just being present to your present experience . That's mindfulness. You may relate mindfulness to a breathing exercise, and while breathing and breathing exercises are certainly they are definitely an excellent route to achieve mindfulness. It's not the only route. Breathing is not mutually exclusive to mindfulness, and you're gonna learn that you can use you're physical sensations, your emotional sensations as your road to mindfulness as well. Let's take a quick moment, will do an exercise and I want to use this exercise to help you firm up your confidence that, yeah, you get the concept of what mindfulness is. Grab a couple ice cubes and a soon as you have them, placed them in the palm of your hand and then close your hand tightly around those ice cubes and squeezed them as you're squeezing them. Instead of trying to distract yourself from the discomfort, focus on what it feels like to be holding that ice in your hand. Notice the sensations. Is it numbing? Is it painful? Is there pain shooting through your fingers or up your arm? Notice where the discomfort is and be present to it. Okay, you can get rid of the ice cubes, toss him away so that, in and of itself was a mindful experience. You did something that caused a sensation, and you consciously brought your attention to that sensation instead of distracting yourself from it. And that's simply what mindfulness is all about. Let me make one more point about that specific Ice Cube exercise because, in truth, it may have seemed like it came out of left field. I could have chosen so many different mindful exercise is to give you in this particular instance, but I chose that one, and I did, because I wanted to use it as an example, an analogy that relates directly to this course and to your ability to let go and to release and to drop negative emotions. Think for a moment of those ice cubes as being not the source of, but instead the emotional pain itself. At any time during that exercise, you could have opened up your hand and you could have tossed those ice cubes away. The ice cubes I eat the emotional pain is not fastened to you. You can let that emotional pain go, and you can do it by practising the systematic, five step, mindful process that we're going to get to real soon, I promise. 3. 4 Actions to Make the Mindful Release Sustainable: the students and the clients who have gone through this work before gone through this material. These practices in the past have helped me to formulate some of the best practices that I want to share with you to help you get the most out of the program. And there's four of them. The very 1st 1 is that mindset, your mindset and your belief, our key. Let me explain what I mean by that. The context in which you approach any program, any learning situation plays a massive role in how effective that learning will be for you . For example, if you approach this class, if you come into this program with the mindset with the intention, with the knowing that yes, you can yes, you can make a difference. You can shift. You can release your emotions. You can become a better version of yourself. If you come in with those positive intentions, then you're less likely to be redirected when you face challenging situations. In other words, when ah challenges arises in your life or a challenge arises in this program for you, then you're more likely to approach that wall in either scale. It climb over it or just kick right through it. There is tremendous power in belief and intention in the resource section. I include some research and some material died by Dr Bruce Lipton on the biology of belief in how our beliefs, our intentions actually shift our molecular cell structure. The very second best practice is simple. It's just to go through the course the very first time, without any concern for memorizing the material without taking any notes. Just go through the material and be with it, become familiar with it that leads then to the third best practice. The third best practice is to go through the course again a second time as you go through a second time. This is when you want to take some notes. The second time is where you want to start to jot down your ideas and your insights. I recommend that you have a notebook or journal for this class and take some notes of some of the key points and some of the key insight, some of the things that are taking place within you. After that, the fourth and final best practice of the course is simply just to ask for help if you need it. Ask questions in this course. Make comments in the program, the more that you're able to step up and ask questions. Asked for guidance. Provide your insight, the more that were all likely to learn. And quite frankly, I'm excited. I'm happy to help. I'm happy to to answer whatever questions you put my way. 4. Step 1: Identify the Physical Corollary : so many of the meditative processes and the meditations are about giving you a break from yourself, giving you an out of body experience. However, the first step in the mindful release process is about giving you and in the body experience, turning things inward. There's a physical corollary for every single emotional pain. The mind and the body are an integrated system. In other words, when there's an emotional disturbance that shows up in the physical body, for example, many times when people experience a ton of stress, where does it show up? It shows up physically, perhaps in their back. Sometimes they're lower back or often times when you're experiencing a sense of fear or a sense of dread that shows up as a pit in the gut, the pit in the stomachs. Or sometimes when people are anxious and uptight about certain things, then that creeps its way into the neck and into the shoulders. Performing a body scan in noticing the location of the emotional pain within your physical body is the first step in this process. So to do this effectively, you could do it sitting down or lying down. Just find yourself a comfortable place where you're not gonna be disturbed and begin to focus on your breath. Keep your attention on your breath, and any time that your mind begins to wander from your breath, just gently pull it back. And as you continue breathing in this fashion, then begin to scan your body. Skin your body mentally and locate. Recognize. Identify the location where you're feeling the emotional pain physically and without trying to decipher the feeling we're without trying to fix it right now. Just in this very moment, become aware of it. Notice it, and as you notice where it is, place your hand on that part of your body and say, This is where I'm feeling the emotional pain market. Identify it. Remain in this particular step of noticing the emotional pain and keeping your hand on that part of your body for 1 to 2 minutes before moving into Step two, which is labeling the feeling putting a name to it in mindful based dress reduction research. The body skin, the body in notice scan has been shown to have a enormous impact on overall well being. When you pause, for example, and you take a moment to just breathe and to be present without doing anything else. You regulate your heart rate, you bring it down. You also discover that you can lower your levels of stress just by pausing just by noticing . When your emotions go up, your intellect goes down. When this happens, your mind, it gets filled with racing thought after racing thought. In the Buddhist tradition and in the mindfulness research, this racing thought phenomenon is referred to as monkey mind. That's right, monkey mind. It's like a monkey ist swinging on the branches, from Branch to Branch Branch to Branch Branch to branch. But this is happening within your head, and it can become very dizzying noticing. We're becoming aware of your feelings and becoming aware of their physical corollary quiets . The monkey begins to put it to sleep, and then it sets the stage for eventually releasing the emotional pain. Let's recap this step. You have an unwanted, unhealthy feeling that arises. It comes up, you pause, you breathe and you scan your body for the location of the emotional pain Has it shows up physically. Once you locate it, you place your hand on the pain. You mark it off And you say This is where I'm feeling the emotional pain right here. Once you've done that, we're ready to go to Step two, which is labelling and putting a name to that feeling. 5. Step 2: Clarify & Name : labelling the emotion. Attaching a name to the feeling makes it possible for you to see that the emotion, the feeling is separate from you. It's not attached when you label the emotion you begin to see, like every other thought, like every other feeling this is going to eventually drift away when it drifts away. You're still going to be there because you're separate from the emotion. What is it that I am feeling right now? This is the self inquiry question that's ultimately going to help you to achieve this step . Does it take persistence? Of course it does. But by asking this question this self inquiry dialogue, you begin to gain clarity and to get answers. Labelling the emotion is a great step, but labeling Thean motion correctly is really pretty important. You see the trap of assigning responsibility for the way that you feel that someone else is fairly easy to fall into. I'm gonna generally borrow from Throop 10 Children to explain this when you label something as say, I feel rejected. Well, the word rejected maybe a feel it, But that phrase brings up a tendency to assign blame somewhere else. As in hey you rejected me reject. It usually is tainted by a description of what you think happened. So here's another descriptive phrase that condone. Draw attention from your responsibility and place it elsewhere. And that would be I feel abandoned. This type of phrases easily interpreted inside your own psyche as being a description of what you think happened. And it implies that someone else has responsibility for the way you feel. I feel abandoned is akin to saying they abandoned me or you abandoned me. In reality, it's not a very clear way of describing how you feel. Base emotions like hurt anger, sadness, lonely. These don't imply any blame whatsoever. They just allow you to be clear in what you're feeling at the moment. So as you come up with this accurate name as you come up with this label to describe your emotion, try to catch yourself when you express emotion in a way that assigns blame to someone else . And you can do this just by asking yourself, Is the label that I'm using really a feeling or is it a description of what I think happened to me? And then you could drill down deeper to discover the base emotion by again asking What is it that I'm really feeling right now? By asking this question, you're gonna come up with a label or a name that you can put to the emotion to gain some clarity on it. Let's recap. This step is well, we begin the self inquiry process by asking the question, What is it that I'm feeling right now? You check that the label that you come up with doesn't assign blame to someone else simply by asking, What is it that I'm really feeling right now in this present moment? 6. Step 3: Turn Towards : when you avoid or when you suppress a negative emotion, you're going to get a temporary reprieve from that emotion. It is, however, a temporary reprieve. It's not lasting, and especially because with avoiding or suppressing negative emotions, it's a bit like eating burritos. We don't just suppress one. According to research by David Barlow, he identified that the number one cause the main cause of psychological problems of mental problems is Thea voiding of emotion, And we talked about this earlier. We talked about it from the standpoint of avoiding the emotion that arises from your expectations going unmet. We're from blocked intentions or un delivered communication, whatever the source of your emotional pain. Avoiding it and avoiding it over years can lead to so many different psychological and behavioral problems. It can lead to things like anger and melancholy depression. It can lead to overeating. It can lead Teoh just a sense of frustration that lingers with you all the time. And most of all, it certainly blocks you living a life with a sense of emotional freedom. Since we want emotional freedom in this step, instead of avoiding the emotion, you're going to turn towards the emotion in order to turn towards the emotion. A few things make it easier. The very first thing is to set aside time to be with that emotion. The second thing is, make sure your surroundings are okay and appropriate, and then next, take a deep breath in and on the exhale. Allow yourself to go deeper into the emotion to turn towards it. As you turn towards the emotion, it's important to be truly present to the feeling. Don't allow it to scare you off. Don't allow it to intimidate you when you're truly present and when you're not concerned with fighting, it are fleeing from it. Your physical reaction in truth, that maybe a visceral one. You may respond by crying or shouting or tightening your fists. Whatever your reaction, just allow that reaction to be. It's at this phase of the process. If anywhere where you're most likely be challenged not to fight the feeling not to flee from it, not to divert your attention to something else. You see the human body. We instinctively do not like discomfort. We do not like pain, but by self regulating your response right now and being with this painful emotion you do a few things. Number one is you. Train your willpower. You train your ability to self regulate in future situations. Number two is that you start toe. Learn about the emotion, and number three is because you learned about the emotion. You develop a future orientation skill in managing that painful emotion when it arises again. So to recap in this step, you turn your attention to the emotion, and you permit yourself to express it. Naturally, you accept that it's there, you're with it, and however it manifests itself physically, that's fine. It's also helpful sometimes to reassure yourself that, like other painful emotions that you've experienced in the past, remember that this 12 will not be permanent. 7. Step 4: Release - NLP "Theater in the Mind" Release Technique: thing is, I can't predict that the instant that you follow the technique that you're going to forget about all in any pain that you have ever experienced in your entire life. Truth is, when it comes to mastering an emotion, much depends on the degree and the severity of that emotion. Much depends on the circumstances that are responsible for creating and generating that emotion. I mean, is it something that's surface level, or is it something that's ingrained deep inside, getting freedom from harmful emotional pain? It may feel like a weight off your chest, but emotional mastery is not at all a snap your finger. Instant process. Each person is unique, your unique. Each pain is unique. And rather than attempting to evaluate your success in emotional mastery by how fast you do it, you may want to consider. And you may be better served just committing to the mindful process and sticking with it like any other ability, mastery and effectiveness on Lee comes after awareness and perseverance. So on occasion I've heard other people use the phrase I had a good cry. This phrase usually indicates a moving past or a moving through a painful emotion. And there are so many nuggets of really concrete wisdom in that phrase because it suggests that the person face that emotional issue head on and that they came to some sort of emotional equilibrium. And so what's really important to understand about this good cry or this meeting the emotion head on is that many times the previous step, the one that you went through before the one where you turned and you faced the emotional issue where you stared it down where you sat with it. Were you allowed for that visceral reaction? That step for many people is largely responsible for the emotional regulation. Okay, so let me now teach you the release phase of the process, and then I'm gonna ask you to spend some time on your own practicing it. So remember, now you're still in the flow of the process. But as you get to this release phase, begin this phase by asking yourself the question. Am I willing? So let go of this emotion. If the answer is no, then inquired deeper into why not? You know, not being willing to let go of an emotion is a sticking point for many people. If, however, the answer is yes, that you are indeed willing to let go of the emotion. Then, without removing your attention from the general area of your body where the emotional pain is being expressed physically, begin to take really deep breasts deep, inhales and strong exhales. And do this to center your focus and in your mind's eye. Go ahead and see the emotion as being a distinct entity. See, it is being something that is not part of you but on Lea attached to you at this very moment. And as you maintain your intention and your willingness to release the painful emotion, take another deep breath in and on the exhale. See the emotion, detach and leave your body while repeating the word release release release. You're gonna want to repeat this imaging and release for probably at least a minute, or until the emotion is no longer clearly discernible. As an additional side note, it can be helpful to imagine the emotion leaving your body as a mist or vapor and disappearing right in front of you. Let's recap this phase. You begin by setting the clear intention that you will release this painful emotion and that you're willing to let it go. You sit quietly, breathe deeply and on the exhale you repeat the word release and you do this while seeing the painful emotion leaving your body.