NEW CONFIDENCE : Boost Your Self Confidence & Self Esteem | Alain Wolf | Skillshare

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NEW CONFIDENCE : Boost Your Self Confidence & Self Esteem

teacher avatar Alain Wolf, Social Skills Consultant

Watch this class and thousands more

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

36 Lessons (3h 22m)
    • 1. Introduction

      2:23
    • 2. Welcome + What You Will Learn

      1:45
    • 3. Day 1: Boost Your Overall Confidence (+ Exercise)

      7:21
    • 4. Day 2: Confidence Hack 1 Secrets Revealed (language) (+ Exercise)

      8:36
    • 5. Day 3: Confidence Hack 2 Secrets Revealed (focus) (+ Exercise)

      8:00
    • 6. Day 4: Confidence Hack 3 Secrets Revealed (physiology) (+ Exercise)

      8:50
    • 7. Day 5: Confidence Hack 4 Secrets Revealed (barriers & self judgment) (+ Exercise) 2

      9:26
    • 8. Day 6: Confidence Hack #5 Secrets Revelaed (confidence activation) (+ Exercise)

      3:51
    • 9. Day 7: Stop Comparing Yourself With Others (+ Exercise)

      4:46
    • 10. Day 8: Be Free Of Self Doubt & Indecisiveness (+ Exercise)

      3:32
    • 11. Day 9: Transform Negative Emotions Into Positive Ones (+ Exercise)

      7:40
    • 12. Day 10: Stop Worrying What People Think Of You (+ Exercise)

      5:56
    • 13. Day 11: Push Your Boundaries & Expand Your Comfort Zone (+ Exercise)

      5:21
    • 14. Day 12: Develop Self Confidence To Achieve Your Dreams (+Exercise)

      6:11
    • 15. Day 13: Boost Your Confidence By Living A Life According To Your Values

      4:15
    • 16. Day 14: Get The Confidence To Speak Up (+ Exercise)

      6:39
    • 17. Day 15: Stop Making Excuses (+ Exercise)

      5:16
    • 18. Day 16: Stop being Approval Seeking (+ Exercise)

      4:52
    • 19. Day 17: How Confident People Think About The Past, Present & Future

      6:30
    • 20. Day 18: Boost Your Confidence With Gratitude & Happiness

      6:02
    • 21. Day 19: Be In A Positive Environment

      4:22
    • 22. Day 20: Boost Your Self Acceptance, Self Esteem & Self Worth

      5:12
    • 23. Day 21: Increase Your Self Acceptance & Become Comfortable In Your Own Skin

      5:47
    • 24. Day 22: Improve Your Self Esteem (+ Exercise)

      4:21
    • 25. Day 23: Become Confident In Social Interactions (+ Exercise)

      8:31
    • 26. Day 24: Get Confident To Smile (+ Exercise)

      5:44
    • 27. Day 25: Get Confidence To Maintain Eye Contact (+ Exercise) 1

      5:31
    • 28. Day 26: Become Comfortable In Social Situations (+ Exercise)

      8:12
    • 29. Day 27: Make People Like You (+ Exercise)

      3:10
    • 30. Day 28: Confidence With Your Colleagues

      4:45
    • 31. Day 29: Confidence To Talk To Higher Management

      3:39
    • 32. Day 30: Deal With Conflicts

      7:29
    • 33. Day 31: Confidence To Find New Clients

      3:56
    • 34. Day 32: Be More Assertive

      3:46
    • 35. Day 33: Confidence In Public Speaking

      8:06
    • 36. Day 34: Congratulations

      1:55
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About This Class

Radiate Confidence In Every Area Of Your Life & Boost Your Self Esteem

Did you know that becoming self confident would give you all these benefits (according to many studies):

People who are self confident tend to experience less fear & social anxiety, become free of self double & indecisiveness, , tackle life's challenges with more certainty & ease, become happier, become comfortable socially, take more care of their health, perform better at work and get better sleep.

Is that something that you would like to experience?

Welcome to the only self confidence you will ever need!

  • Becoming Confident
  • Boost Self Worth & Self Esteem
  • Become Unstoppable in Life
  • Build Social Confidence
  • Be Free Of Self Doubt & Indecisiveness

Remove Self Doubt, Stop People Pleasing Behavior, Stop Indecisiveness & Be Free Of Stress/Anxiety

This course if for people who would like to become more confident and boost their self esteem. It has been adapted to help people with little self confidence & self esteem and people who were already confident but needed that extra edge.

At the end of this course, you will become a new version of yourself. You will learn powerful tools & techniques in this course that will transform you into the confident person that you would like to become.

What are you waiting for? Enroll in this course right now so you can start your transformation!

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Alain Wolf

Social Skills Consultant

Teacher

 

 Newest Classes (Watch These Next)!

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Transcripts

1. Introduction: Hi, let me ask you a question. Have you ever been in a situation where you want it to act, you wanted to take action and you felt this negative emotion and you've told yourself, Oh, if I had more confidence, I would have been able to do it. We have all been there. We have missed so many opportunities in our lives because we were not confident enough. So that's why I created this on a training. I want to show you the best ways to build your confidence to boost your self-esteem, self-worth, self image. So that next time that you have this amazing opportunities in your life, you are confident and you can see the opportunities. So that's why in this course, we'll see everything you need to boost your overall confidence. To boost your core confidence, your situational confidence will see the best instant hacks, where you can just apply the hacks and instantly you are able to trigger and activate the emotion of confidence will also see how you can become more confident dealing with people. How you can boost your social confidence, how you can become a comfortable, how it can make people like you will discuss. So, so how can you become more confident at work with your clients, with your colleagues, with higher management. And we'll talk about how you can become more confident at public speaking. So it's an intense course that I've created. And I always had this focus in mind. If I had to tell my younger self how to be confidence. What would be the advice that I would give myself? Because 15 years ago had no self-confidence. Actually, I started I suffered from social anxiety and I had no friends. Literally I had the worst childhood ever. And I had to build myself confidence. And I fact discourse here with the most practical advice that you can find on self-confidence, on how you can become more competent and more easy and everyone can earn self competence. It's all about understanding that there are certain steps, certain tools can apply to boost your level of confidence. It's like playing sports. The more you play, the better you get at it. And it's the same thing here. The more you learn how to boost your self-confidence, the more confident you become. And then next time that you have this opportunity in your personal or professional life, you have the confidence and you can act. So enrolling, discuss right now and let's start your transformation. C on the other side. 2. Welcome + What You Will Learn: Hi and welcome to this amazing online training where I'll be sharing with you my best tips on how you can become a confident, boost your self-esteem, accept to self more. How you can be more assertive, who can deal with conflicts? And we'll talk, how can you be more yourself? How can you be at ease with who you are? And how can you speak up? How can you be more assertive? How can you get more out of life by boosting new level of self-confidence. So I'm really excited about this course because I will be sharing the advice that I would share to my younger self. Because 15 years ago, I was so shy that I started, I suffer from social anxiety. I had no friends. It was really awful. And I transform myself and I asked myself this question here, what would be the best, keeps the best advice that I could share with my younger self to fast-track my transformation. And basically that would be the best advice for you so that you can just apply the advice and really get the edge of other people. You can really become confident, you can take action. You can boost your self-esteem, self-worth, and you will see that your whole life will go to the next level. So I'm really excited to have you here. Again. Congratulations for enrolling in this course. Because I know that most people, they don't take action in life. They say, Oh, this is my confidence level, whatever. But no, you said, Oh, I want to improve my confidence level. And for that reason, I would like to say that I'm honored to have you here and congratulations. You will see that you go through the course, you do the exercises, you apply, what I teach, and your whole life will go to the next level. So let's turn writing. 3. Day 1: Boost Your Overall Confidence (+ Exercise): Now, let's start here with how you can boost your overall confidence. How can you become confident that anything, maybe there's an area in your life where we want to be more confidence. It can be your personal life, your professional life. There is something where you want to have more confidence. And today, I want to share with you the step-by-step process. And actually it's not complicated. It's a two-step process where you just have to follow the steps. You do that over and over again. And you can build confidence in any area of your life. So what are the two steps? Basically, you're going to think about where you want to have more confidence in. Is it when you're interacting with people? Is it at work? Is it's giving presentations? Is it with your family? Like when do you want to become a confident? Because we are going to use this process here to build confidence, to build massive confidence in every area of your life. But first, I would like you to decide, okay, I want to be more confident in that environment when you have decided that you are going to do step one. And step one is about baby stepping. It. It means that instead of taking a huge action and like doing something that is so outside of your comfort zone and you want to be able to properly interpret the situation. And if you're low confidence, it may really have a negative impacts on yourself. So the first step here is to take daily small actions towards what you want. So you are going to be at the edge of your comfort zone. It's going to be a little bit uncomfortable. So that way you can grow, you can expand your comfort zone. Let's say that for example, you want to be more confident at giving presentations instead of starting by giving a huge presentation in front of the whole company. And you don't know if you can handle that. You can baby step it. It means that one day maybe you can buy a book on how to give a presentation. The other day. You can read the book, The Day After. You can write a speech that they after. You can practice in your room, that they after you can record it and said that recording to a friend the day after the reactor and like every day are going to take a small action. Because the idea here is to take small baby steps throughout the year, throughout the month, so that you are taking action in direction towards your goals. So this is the first step here. Baby step, your actions. And what is step 2? And this is how you can build confidence and it's so powerful. And this will be like the, my best advice on how you can build confidence is that after you have taken the small steps, you are going to ask yourself too powerful questions. The first question that you're going to ask yourself is, What did I do? Well, confidence is about showing your brain that you are able to do something over and over again. Well, that's it. You are showing you braid at you able to take action towards your goal and you did something well, that's confidence. So the first question is like, what did I do? Well, let's take an example of the presentation. You want to become better at public speaking. You order the book, then you ask yourself this question. What did I do? Well, oh, I ordered a book, I took action and you make a list. After every small action that you have taken towards the goal that you want, you're going to reinforce it positively. You can also give yourself a tap on the shoulder. For example, after designing training, I will ask myself the question, what did I do? Well, and I'm going to give myself a tap on the shoulder. Hey Allen, you did what you did well, what you recorded the online training while you were tired in the morning, but then you put yourself in the great state, you are able to take action. I'm going to list everything. It's going to do that. It's going to increase my level of self-confidence. And question number two, which is so powerful, It's about what can I improve next time or what can I do better next time? What most people would ask is, why did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? I approach these people. What did I do wrong? Why? Like what made me fail? And we don't want to use this kind of questions here because it's going to destroy your level of confidence. We want to build your level of confidence. So this negativity here with the question, why did I do wrong? That's not something that we want, but we want to have feedback. So that way we are going to ask the question, what can I improve next time? So these two questions here are powerful and you could build confidence in any situation, like anywhere. It's so powerful that if you do that over and over again. And the idea is to take one action daily, reinforce it positively with the two questions. What did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? And if after one year you do that, you're going to have 365 actions that you have taken and that you have reinforced positively and you cannot not be confident with that. It means that confidence is a process of reinforcing, of showing that you were able to do something. Well. Let's take another example. Let's say that you want to become more confident socially. You want to be able to approach people, have an interesting conversation, make new friends, find a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever you want. You're going to think about the goal that you have. You're going to baby step it, okay. Tomorrow I can approach someone on the streets and ask for the time that they can ask for direction that they After I could I could call a friend and go out with that person and approach people that they After, I could try to make a joke in social interactions and you plan your actions and then you reinforce them positively. Another great thing to do if you want to really build an overall confidence in your life, is before going to sleep, you reflect on the day that you had and you ask yourself these two questions here. What did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? We don't want to focus on all the negative things. We want to get feedback to improve and reinforced them positively. So your mission for today is to think about an area of your life or you want to have more confidence in and you're going to plan the seven next days. And you're going to define what would be the next seven small actions that makes you a little bit uncomfortable but not too much. And then you are going to write them down on your Canada, okay. On Monday, I'm going to do that. Choose a Wednesday, blah, blah, blah. And you plan them on your calendar. And then you are going to ask yourself these two questions. After every action that you have taken, what did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? And that way you can build your overall sense of confidence. And this is the first step here about boosting your confidence and building lasting confidence because that's what it's about. I'm going to show you later the hacks where you can instantly become confident. You have a presentation, have a networking event to go to. Like how can you activate the emotion of confidence? I'm going to show you that and instantly you will be able to go from, I'm not confident to unlimited confidence, but here we are building, I would say, lasting confidence. So this is your mission for today. You can do this exercise, you will see it will really transform your life. 4. Day 2: Confidence Hack 1 Secrets Revealed (language) (+ Exercise): How to use your language to boost your level of self-confidence. So the way that we talk to ourselves will really impact the level of confidence that we have. People who have low confidence that will tend to talk more negatively. There will be using words like, oh, my issue is, my problem is I'm not as good as other people. They will always have the negative focus. They will always think in terms of, oh, other people are better than me. I did something wrong. I don't have any value and that will have that kind of language. And the issue is that if you always tell yourself that you are going to believe it. So people who are more confident, they tend to be more positive. There are going to focus on their strengths, on the things that they did grade, maybe on the thing, on the things that they can improve. But they're not going to say, oh, what did I do wrong in that situation is they're going to say, Oh, what can I improve the overhead? Or they always have this positive focus. And the thing is that if you, if you think about a situation that you are fired, you get to promotion, the situation is the same, but then the interpretation will be different. If you are fired. Maybe a low confident person who say, Oh, why, I deserved it, I didn't have any value. They, they discovered that there was a fraud, that I was not created my job. And maybe another person who is more confidence say, Hey, finally I got fired. Now I can do what I want with my life. I can start my own business. I can really live my life according to my true values too. You can see here the interpretation is different. The situation is the same. If you want to become a confident, it's about changing the language and changing what you tell yourself on a day-to-day basis. So the first step here is about being aware, because if you're not aware about what you tell yourself, you cannot improve it. So you become aware. You exercise for today is to take a piece of paper and you're going to listen to your inner voice. When you are going through the day, you are going to tell yourself some things and you're going to write it down. You're not going to judge the chest. You're going to write it down, but you tell yourself. And then at the end of the day, what would be interesting is that just you're going to read what you tell yourself. And they're going to ask yourself this question here. Is it positive? Is it helping me build my confidence? And most of the time we say so many negative, negative things. For example, many years ago when I was low confident, I was telling myself, oh, island, the island you're going to fail, ala know, Come on you, you are going to destroy that. And I was always trying to put me down. And that's why I was not having confidence because I was putting myself down more like some people in the world that will try to put you down. But if you do that job for them and you put yourself down already, like that's not the point. Instead, you want to have a more encouraging tok. You want to think that you are the leader of your life. Instead of saying, Oh my God, I'm going to fail and use these destructive language. You are going to use a more positive language. So when you, when you are aware of the things that you say, you're going to ask yourselves this question here. Would I tell that to a friend? Because most of the time we accept things that we say it because we say them to ourselves. But if we would tell that to friends, we won't say them. We won't say that. For example, I will always tell myself, Alan, you are a loser, Alan, you're going to fail and people are better than you. Imagine that I meet a friend and I say, Hey, you're a loser, people are better than you. If I have a language like that, do you think this person would stay my friend, the specimen won't be my friend anymore. But sometimes we allow ourselves to say that. So be aware of the language that you have and try to have a more positive one. Just be aware. Because by being aware of say, Why do I have to destroy myself? Why do I have to put myself down? Because it's a choice that you make. It's a choice that you make to think that way instead of thinking more positively, let's say that you want to approach someone. Hello confident person. We say how you are going to fail or the person with laugh at you or the person will laugh at you, hair hire, you like. Dispersion, that is low confidence will have this negative self-talk. And a more confident person say, Oh, I'm going to get to give this person a great time. I have value to give to that person and create. I'm, I'm awesome. You know, like the person will start thinking in more positive ways. So that's what I wanted to do here with this video here was to show you that you can think more positively. Now, there is a hack that I use all the time, and now it became automatic is to have five sentences that you are going to tell yourself. Two shortcuts. When you are thinking negatively. It is at when you are thinking, Oh my God, I'm going to fail. Oh my God, oh my God. Oh my God. You are going to say five sentences. And there should be five sentences that are really short. And that can be Alan, you can do it alone. You are going to succeed Allen. Let's go ahead and let's do it. And it's going to be okay. And these are the sentences that I have. So what I am in a situation where I need to be confident, instead of telling myself negative things, I'm going to repeat the sentences over and over again in my mind over and over again. And it's going to empower me. Because the communication that you have with yourself, we'd have an impact on your confidence level, which you constantly tell yourself and, and you're going to do it, Alan, you're going to succeed. Allen is going to be okay. Rather than, than Alan, you're going to fail and people are going to reject you. The attitudes that you will have, the confidence level will be different and this is the key here. So another exercise that I would like to suggest that you do is you take a piece of paper and you write down your five sentences. So the best thing to do is to put your name, for example, I don't know what THE name is, but Mark, Emily. And then you say, you can do it. Let's go. You are going to figure things out and you can do it. Mark, you can do it and, and let's do it. Alan. You are great. And you repeat that over and over again in situations when you need to improve your confidence. So basically when I have to network with high-end people, for example, when I had dinner with Brian Tracy, when I met track and field and I interviewed him or all the great people that I met, Kevin O'Leary like, Oh, this is amazing people. Before going there, before I approaching these people before interacting with them, I was always repeating these sentences. So this is a great hack. You can take control of how you think by repeating over and over again this five sentences. Now something that is really important. If you tell yourself Highland, you can do it. And when you upgrade, your brain, won't believe it. Because in a communication between two people are in a communication within yourself. 7% of communication is words, and 93 percent is the nonverbal. The nonverbal is the emotions that you have, is your tone of voice, the intensity of the voice, and all the things that are nonverbal. So if you tell yourself, Hi Alan, you're going to succeed. And your brain will perceive that there is a disconnect between what you say and the 93 percent, which is the nonverbal. The brain, will trust the 93 percent because it has a higher percentage. So if you say you're going to succeed, what you say is, Alan, you're going to succeed. But watch your brain. What your brain perceives is going to succeed. So that's important When you say the sentence is, you are going to say the sentences with confidence. I would like you to make the habit of saying these sentences with confidence and you can start seeing them outline out loud. For example, in my case, I started by saying, Alan, you're great. You're great with intensity and confidence. Because then when I say that in my mind, I see that with intensity and confidence. And if you do this exercise here, you will see that it will really transform your life and you will be able to be more confident we are, we are changing what's happening here in your mind to become more confident. 5. Day 3: Confidence Hack 2 Secrets Revealed (focus) (+ Exercise): I would like to show you here how this glass of water can improve your confidence level. So if you look at this glass of water, do you look at it? Half full or half empty? Low confident people, we say the glass is half empty. And confident people who say, Look, there is one other in it is half full. So if you want to become a confidence, it's important that you understand that you can perceive a situation differently. And you can perceive a situation positively or negatively. And you have a choice. You can choose between the green glasses or the red glasses. When you put the green glasses, you are going to perceive the world as opportunities, as everything is great about what you can improve, but in a positive way about the value that you have about why you are great human being. You are going to focus more positively. You're going to see opportunities instead of problems. You're going to see challenges. You're going to see people trying to help you, then to see people complimenting you. And if you put the red glasses, what's going to see? You're going to see everything you did wrong. Like people are laughing at you. You're going to see the mistakes you made. You're going to see the fear of rejection. You're going to see the fear of what people would think of you. You're going to perceive all these negative things. And my question to you is, do you want to have the red glasses or the green glasses? And the choice is yours. You can decide if you want to build more confidence. See the world as more positively. And some people say, Allan, I don't want to be just an optimistic and see everything positive. I'm not saying to see everything positive and when there is something wrong, you don't look at it. No, I'm just saying that if there is a situation, low confident people will look at it negatively. Why don't you try it to see the good side of the thing? Why don't you try it to see the good side of the situation. If you approach someone and it doesn't work out, you don't click with that person and you get rejected. Why are you going to focus on everything that went wrong and say, Oh, I don't have value as a human being, I'm a failure, I'm a loser. Why do you say that? Rather than saying, oh, this is what I learned from the interaction, I'm grades like my value was not linked to the, to the interaction. I made the person of, the person rejected me, but I made the person laugh. And I was great at approaching that person. Was great, you know, like the focus is different and the rectum illustrate that with an example. Could you just please look around you and look for everything that is green? Look for everything that is greening. Ok. Now close your eyes. Can you tell me everything that was blue? I will be more difficult. Why is that now we can open your eyes. Why is that? Because you are focused on everything that was green. So it means that you are perceiving everything that was green in the environment. And then I asked you to show me what was blue and you are not perceiving what was blue because you didn't have enough brain power to take all the information. We are focused on everything that was green. And this is the same thing that happens with our mind. We have a filter that is called RAAS. Basically, it's a filter that allows us not to become crazy because there is so much information in the word and is filter, we let some information pass to our brain. And this filter here is like a net. It means that the belief that you have, the things that you tell yourself like what happens in your mind will catch certain things. It means that if you focus, if you think that you are great, you have confidence, you will have a more positive net and you will be capturing information in the word about, okay, you are great, you did something well, you see that as an opportunity you will be capturing more positive things that we're recapturing your greatness, what you did well. But if you have believed that, say that you are not confident that you don't have any value. You will have a more negative net and you will be capturing everything that you did wrong. And the thing is that if you want to take control of your confidence level, it's about understanding that instead of looking at everything that you do wrong and interpret the situation negatively, because there is nothing wrong about getting feedback and understanding what you did wrong. But if you're always focused on that and the worst is that if you're always interpreting the situation as negatively, you're not going to build your confidence. Instead, you should interpret it more positively. Let's say that for example, you are interacting with someone or you want to interact with that person, and that person looks at you. So before you approach that person looks at you, someone who has a negative net, we say, Oh my God, disperse and looked at me. So it means that, and then they are going to be aligned with their belief. So it means that this person is making fun of me. There is something wrong with me, or this person don't think I'm good enough. If you have a more positive net, you and you will see the same situation, you will interpret it more positively saying, oh, maybe the specimen wants me to approach, or maybe this person thinks that I am great, or maybe this person thinks I'm sexy. Maybe this person wants me to just walk up to them and say hi, or maybe you think, Oh, this person is shy, so it's my turn to approach them, or maybe 0, 0, disperse and looked at me so dispersed and should be friendly. You can see here it's a more positive interpretation of the same situation. So how can you become a positive? It's about consciously being aware that there is the other side, there is the other side of positivity. So my exercise for you today is to reflect on an experience that you had this week. And I want you to just analyze how you interpreted it. It can be in a social situation, at work, in your personal life or whatever the situation is, you are going to to tell yourself, have I interpreted it negatively or positively? If you have interpreted it negatively, ask yourself this question. What was the great side? What was the positive side? Or even better? You can ask yourself this question here. How could I have interpreted it more positively? Because when someone looks at you, I don't really know what the person thinks. I don't know. So I prefer to interpret it more positively and negatively because if I interpreted negatively like this person will reject me, I'm a loser. I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to approach and I'm going to destroy my self confidence. What if I throw up? But if I interpret it more positively, I'm going to build my confidence. So this video here was about showing you that with this glass of water here, you are in control of your confidence. You can perceive the situation more positively or negatively. But you can also interpret the situation. Choose how you want to interpret the situation. Not only how you want to perceive, but how you want to interpret it. And this is the power here of confident people. And this is what I would tell my younger self is about. Look at this glass here. Look about everything that you have as value. Look everything that which is great. And all this time that people are looking at you, or people will tell you things, telling you things or not to destroy you, but it was to build your confidence and to help you. So don't see the glass half empty if you want to build your confidence, think about this glass here and look at this water here, the water here, the water is inside you. So, so look at that interpreted more positively. 6. Day 4: Confidence Hack 3 Secrets Revealed (physiology) (+ Exercise): Now let's talk about one of my favorite hacks to boost your confidence instantly. And this one I use all the time and you will see it will make a huge difference. So this is the exercise here. I would like you to try that with me so that you can really feel the motion. I would like you to close your chest, pull your shoulders down to look a little bit depressed. And I'm sure that you know how to do it. I look a little bit depressed. You look down and you let your arms fall. And now you say, I'm confident. I'm confident, I'm confident. And now I'm going to ask you this question here. On a scale between 0 to 10, how confident are you? And USA to three? Like really low confidence. So I'm going to ask you the next question is, could you picture someone who has low confidence? How do you picture this person? And you will also say, oh, this was the posture that I had. The, had the chest close shoulders down, looking down and to be depressed and I was not moving a lot, gesturing a lot, and I was looking down. So how is that possible that when I ask you to picture someone who has low confidence, you know what it looks like. It's because what happens in your mind and your posture and your body language are linked. So we're going to use that to our advantage. It means that if you adopted a posture of someone who has low confidence and you experienced low confidence, you can do the other way around. If you adopt a posture of someone who is confident, you are going to activate the emotion of confidence. So it's really interesting to see that what we believe about ourselves is linked. Like our minds is linked with our body language and our posture. Basically our body language and posture is an expression of the confidence level that we have. So if you think about that, you change your posture, you can change your confidence level. You can change what happens in your mind. So I would like you to adopt the posture of Superman. And if you're a woman, superwoman, what you're going to do is that you are going to open your chest. You're going to put your shoulders down. You're going to imagine that there is a string here pulling you to the sky. You're going to have a relaxed phase with a lot of expressions. You're going to gesture, to have big gestures, you're going to take space with your feet. You're going to have them slightly longer legs, slightly a more than the length of your shoulders. You're going to just take space. You are imagining that you have a cape, that you're Superman. And they're going to gesture and you're going to have a positive emotion on your face. And now when you do that, you're going to say, I'm confident. I'm confident. And on a scale between 0 to 10, how confident are you? The answer should be 8, 9, 10. How are you able to go from one experiencing one level of confidence which is like super low to an 8, 9, 10 by just changing your posture. And this one is so powerful. And I use that all the time and ago when I went, I have to network with high-end clients like amazing people. And I'm a little bit stressed. I'm always going to have this posture here and I'm going to decrease my stress and increase my confidence. You can do that before a job interview, before a presentation. When you are giving the presentation, when you add the job interview, when you are in a team meeting, always you're going to have this posture here because you are going to activate the energy of confidence. And most people, they work on a computer and they spend the whole day in front of the computer like that. And this is exactly the posture of someone who has low confidence, and then they lose energy, the loose confidence and they don't understand why. It's because the more you adopt this posture of low confidence, the more you're going to feel low confidence. So if you are low confidence, you have the posture of low confidence. So you can change the posture and you change your confidence level. So my challenge to you today is to be aware of your posture. It means that you are going to set an alarm for three times during the day and went his alarm rings. You are going to analyze your posture and you are going to ask yourself this question here. Is it the posture of someone who is confident? And is it the Superman posture? If the answer is no, you can correct the posture here. We want to be aware so we can correct it. And when you go to a new place while you are not that confident, think about the posture. Think about opening chest, about having the Superman posture. If you don't really know oil, you're not really sure about the confident posture. Ask yourself this question here. How would a confident person behave? How would my confidence cells behave if I were 100% confident, how would I behave? What would be my posture? And you will instantly know because, you know, in your brain, what does it mean to be competent in just that, you have to activate this energy of confidence. Another great tip, I would say to increase your confidence to have a more confident body language about the gestures that you have. So people who are low confidence and strength that we have small gestures and it will be stressed. It means that the gesture will be small and there will be stressed. Confident people will gesture a lot and it'll be more controlled, calm, calm and confident. So this is what I call the underwater moves. You imagine that you are moving underwater. You are not stressed, you cannot be like that on the water. You are controlled. You have confidence gestures when you speak. And this is how we can appear more confident and you're also activate the confidence emotion. So try that, try to gesture. Imagine that you are underwater and you are gesturing like that. Like have big gestures and gesture like you're underwater. Another great tip if you want to use your body language to become a confident, is to take control of the way that you breath. When you're low, confident and stressed, you will, you will breach in a way that it wants properly oxygenate your brain. So you're going to brief Baghdad. The brief everything will be really short. And what you want to have instead is deep breathing. How can you do that? If you want to go to a situation or if you are in a situation where you feel stressed, you are just going to take a few seconds to breathe deeply. And you can do that between three to five times. You're going to inhale by the nose, exhale by the mouth slowly. And you're going to put the air in your belly. You are going to let your belly expand. You're not going to raise the shoulders. You're just going to let the air go through your belly and you're going to do that three times. So it's like and you can see here that I'm more calm, more relaxed, and my level of confidence increased. So if you're in a situation, a social situation or anywhere, and you wanted to use this technique here. You can inhale by the nose and exhale by the nodes. Don't be creepy by inhaling by the nose and exhaling by the mouth. If you are like talking to a CEO or like a highly important person, use your judgment. But if you are home or before going to that interaction of two that place, before giving that presentation, before entering the room and take you two seconds to just relax with the power of withing. So this here was my favorite section on how, because you can instantly change your level of confidence. You can go from not confidence, too confident. And I made it automatic. It means that every time that I'm going to interact somewhere, I'm going to have this posture. And my level of confidence was really, risk is really high because of that. And if you are watching this video here and you don't have a lot of confidence. You can do it too. So you can be confident today by just using this hack. 7. Day 5: Confidence Hack 4 Secrets Revealed (barriers & self judgment) (+ Exercise) 2: How can you increase your confidence level? So it's about understanding that you can become confident. It's about giving yourself permission to become finance. What does it mean to give yourself permission? What books people do is that they will interact with them and they will do something that will take an action. And then we'll look at the other person and they will look for the validation of the other person. Do we will look and they will wait, that the other person gives some signs of, Oh, I did something good or I did something bad. What we'll try to, to send the value that they have according to the reactions of the other people. And the problem with that is that you cannot build true confidence if you give your power away to other people, because some people will like you, some people want. And you cannot be always fluctuating with this confidence here. And if you give your power away, you won't be able to be confident. So it's about giving yourself permission to be confident. Start by changing your focus from 0. I'm going to give away my power to people to decide if I'm confident on 0 to 0, I give myself the permission to decide that I'm going to be confident. And the more you learn about yourself, the more passions you have, the more you trust yourself, the more you express yourself freely, the more you are going to build this strength in yourself and confidence. And then when you'll be interacting with people, you won't be always looking at the validation because you will have validate yourself already. So it's about giving yourself permission. And most people, they, they put barriers on themselves. For example, the say, Oh, I can't do it. Or if I if I take that action, that can happen or I'm not good enough, I'm not great enough. And the problem with that is that most of the time, the barriers that we have are only in our mind and they are not really true. For example, when I started this crazy online business thing, traveling all around the world, teaching people how to have better social skills. When I started, I had the belief of, Oh, I'm too young people are not going to take me seriously. And I didn't start for a long time because I had this belief here. And that was not true. I felt it was true in my mind, but that was not the case. And then a few years later I was coaching people who are 50, 60 years old. And they were like CEOs, like high-end CEOs. And I was like this young kid from Switzerland. And so it was a belief that they had at first the barrier that I had in my mind, and that was not true. So it's important to think about everything that is holding you back to, to build your confidence. So a great thing to do here is about to see what you associate self-confident with. Because that's what you want. You want to have more self-confidence. For example, for a long time, I thought that The more self confidence I had, the more arrogant I would become. And I say, oh, I'm going to become more confident I am the more arrogant I was going to become and I didn't want to become arrogant. So I didn't, so I didn't want to become more self-confident and that's not true. If you increase your self confidence, you're not going to increase your arrogance. Arrogance means that you just care about yourself and you don't care about other people. But you can be self-confidence and then care about people. So it's not true, but I had this limiting belief in my mind. So this exercise for you today and the mission for you today is that it's about downloading the PDF that is around here and doing this exercise here, Find the associations that you have with confidence, we self-confidence. And you ask yourself this question here, what do you associate self-confidence with? And you're going to write things down, you're going to write items. O self-confidence for me is that, is that is that is that. And then you can ask yourself this question here. What would happen if you increase your level of self-confidence? And you're going to write it down without judging. And maybe you will have negative associations. For example, you can say, oh, the more confident they become, then the less authentic friends I'm going to have, our people are not going to like me. And maybe you have this imaging belief, that's okay. But I'm going to show you how you can change them and disbelief are not true. If you increase your level of confidence, that's not going to happen, but we have that in our mind. So you make this list. So you ask yourself the two questions and during the PDF just below. And then you're going to ask yourself this question here. If you read all the items that you have written, which ones are serving you to build more confidence and which ones are not serving you to build more confidence. So you're going to identify the negative ones you are. So you can print it and then you can take a pen and make a circle around them. Or you can just, if you are using a Word document, you can just highlight them. And then when you have identified the belief that are not helping you, we want to start destroying these beliefs and replacing them with more empowering ones. So the next question that you're going to ask yourself is, is it 100% true? Because a belief that we have in our mind, if it's a belief, it's because we consider it 100% true. So if you show a grade that is not 100% true, the beliefs will be a little bit shaky and that's what we want to, then you can replace it. So you take the association of 0, the more confident they become, the more arrogant I will become. You ask yourself this question. Is it true that highly confident people? Is it 100% sure that highly confident people are arrogance? And you're going to find examples where they are highly confident people who are not arrogant. You're like to show you bring that the belief that you had is not true. And it's going to be a little bit shaky. So you're going to show you brain that it's not always true. There are some people who can be arrogant when they are confident, but most people are not. And so you are going to change the belief that you have. And then you're going to ask yourself two simple questions. The first question is, what will it cost me if I continue with this belief? For example, what will it cost me my life if I continue thinking that, uh, people are organs or I'm not going to have self-confidence, I'm going to blah, blah, blah. And then you're going to list all the pain that you have that that can happen if you continue having this belief here because we want to associate massive pain with unbelief so that your brain wants to get rid of it. And then the second question is, what would be a better belief that I could have? And associate massive pleasure with that. So you're going to have the sentence here, okay? The more self-confidence they become, the more self-confident they become, the more arrogant I become. It's not something I wanted to continue. So you associate massive pain with that by showing you brain that the more you have this belief, the moist going to destroy your life. And then you say, okay, what are, what is a better thing? And then you can say, the most self-confident I become, the more at ease with, with myself I become you. You are changing it you agentic to a more empowering one. You can find something that is related or not related to the belief that you have or have a new one. And then what you want to do is to say, okay, what are the benefits of having this new association? And then you make a list of the benefits. And now, what happened in your brain? We showed your brain that it was not always sure to have that, believed that it was not serving you. We associate pain with that, pain with that. So your brain wants to get rid of it. We found a new empowering beliefs for your self-confidence, and we associated massive pleasure with that, so that now your brain wants to have it. And what I encourage you to do is to write your belief down your Newbury have down on a piece of paper. And every day you look at it so that it will, it will train your brain to think that in that new way and it works really, really well. Something that is really important is that when you associate massive pain and massive pleasure with Our new and old belief, it's important that you feel it. Don't just write it down and fill no emotion. I really feel the pain and feel the pleasure. That way you are going to be able to get rid of that limiting belief and that limitation. So that's your exercise for today. Download this PDF and follow the steps and you're going to have more positive associations with self-confidence. And then when we go through the course, you will be able to really develop this amazing confidence and have less things holding you back because we are removing them step by step. So it's your exercise. I encourage you to do it. 8. Day 6: Confidence Hack #5 Secrets Revelaed (confidence activation) (+ Exercise): Is it possible to activate confidence on command? Yes, it is. Because if you understand that confidence, it's an emotion that you can generate. You can generate it on command. So let's be the street that here. Could you focus on a memory that makes you sad? How do you feel sad? Could you focus on the memory that makes you feel happy? How do you feel happy? So if you focus on a memory that made you feel confident, you are going to activate the emotion of confidence again. Because people who are confident, they have things that activate the confidence in them. For example, it can be the posture that they have, the self-talk that they have, that she's always encouraging, trying to, rather than putting them down there are seeing the glass half full instead of half empty, like doing all the things that are activating the emotion of confidence. And another great hack, and I use that all the time is when you want to go somewhere and do something and you, and you need to be more confidence. You address me to close your eyes for a few seconds. And you're going to remember a time when you felt 100% confidence Jack, you had unlimited confidence. So you close your eyes and you remember this memory. Something important here. You're not watching a movie like you are the actor, you want to relieve the memory. So you are there. You, you relieve the memory. You feel the emotion that you were feeling. And we want a memory where you felt 100% confident, unlimited confidence. And you will see that you will start feeling emotions of confidence in your body. And when you do that, I want you to expand them through your whole body. And then you open your eyes and you will feel confident. Why? Because you are activated the energy of confidence. You can also do that with the energy of love. You can remember a time when you felt loved. You feel the emotion and then you amplify it through your whole body. Basically, you are in control of the emotions that you want to feel by just changing your focus and by changing your focus, we are focusing here on a memory where you felt 100% confident. And the more you do it, the more at ease you will become and the quicker you will be able to go from the state that you're in to a more confidence state. So let's say that you have to give a presentation five minutes before the presentation. I will close my eyes, remember a confident time, and then fill this emotional expand it. I'm going to add the posture. I'm going to think that it's going to go well, and I'm going to do that and you will see my confidence. We go through the roof just with activating my level of confidence. So your exercise today is to activate the emotion of confidence today. And it can be now or it can be later. Your goal is to activate this emotion to really do the exercise, sit on a chair, or do, or where you are if and only if you're driving down there, close your eyes. Remember time when you felt 100% confident, you feel the emotion, you amplify it. And then you open your eyes and you see how you feel. And you ask yourself this question. On a scale between 0 to 10, how confident was I? If the confidence level was not that high, change the memory or amplify the motion more in your body until you find a memory that can give you a 7, 8, 9, 10 confidence. And you will see if you do that, you will become a big success and your confidence level will go through the roof. 9. Day 7: Stop Comparing Yourself With Others (+ Exercise): Stop comparing yourself with other people. People who are low confident they are always comparing themselves with, with other people and they're always finding the negative things. So it means that they're saying, Oh, this person is better than me at that, this is what I don't have compared to this person. And they are always comparing the negative things that the lack of that, why the other person is better than them. And instead confident people, they won't compare themselves with other people that will compare themselves with who they aware yesterday. So great question if you want to improve your level of confidence is to ask yourself this question here. How can I improve myself every single day? And if you ask this question over and over again and you compare yourself with who you were yesterday. You are going to improve your self-confidence and understanding that you don't need to compare yourself with other people. You can be inspired by other people, but you shouldn't compare yourself with other people. Let me explain why. Because let's say that you're an intern in a marketing company. You just arrive and you compare yourself with your colleagues that have been there for 10 years, that worked alot and that have like amazing results. And you say, I'm not, I will never be as great as this person and not as great as this person. I am, I don't have any value. You are comparing yourself right now with someone who has ten years more experience than you an address comparing yourself right now, you with the other person, it's destroying your self confidence. You're not taking into account the experience, the story, their life's mission, what they did to arrive there. For example, if you compare yourself in a company with the CEO, that for example, has a lot of success. And you say, Oh, I would never be as great as him or her. And you forgot just to take into account that maybe the CEO that is so successful, they don't have a family because they don't have time. They don't do sports because they don't have time. The unhealthy because it's junk food. And they made the choice to be where they are having the lifestyle that they have. And you are not taking that into account and address comparing yourself and you are telling me, Oh, I'm not as great as the CEO, and it is destroying your self confidence. Instead, be inspired by what's possible. You are inspired, you're not jealous about what's possible. And you compare yourself every day with who you were yesterday and you challenge yourself to become better. Your challenges have, okay, I have this position in this company. I want to work harder. I wanted to be the to do the best that I can, maybe get a raise or to get this promotion. And you compare yourself, it's a challenge between you and yourself. You can see where people are at. But don't compare yourself to them because everyone has different capabilities, stories that they all have different life choices. And you cannot compare yourself with another person. You can be inspired by them, but don't compare yourself with someone else. Be inspired. So your mission for today is to start comparing yourself with who you were yesterday. So the question that you can ask yourself and its emission that I encourage you to do. You take a piece of paper and you ask yourself this question here. Why am I better than yesterday? And then you are showing you bring your reinforcing positively that you are evolving. Why am I better than yesterday? We're not asking the question, why are my worst than yesterday? We want to reinforce positively the fact that we are evolving. And if you reflect on that and you really write it down and you feel this emotion, why am I better than yesterday? And you will develop this solid confidence because it'll be reinforcing it positive in if you do that every day, every night, you ask yourself this question here. Why am I better than yesterday? You are going to build a strong confidence in yourself, and that's what I wish you. I wish I had a strong confidence and this is a great exercise to do it. So compare yourself with who you were yesterday. Ask yourself this question, why am I better today than yesterday? And be inspired by other people? But don't forget that everyone has different story, has different life goals, life missions, and everyone is different. So be inspired, but don't compare yourself with other people. 10. Day 8: Be Free Of Self Doubt & Indecisiveness (+ Exercise): So if you want to become a confident, it's important that you become at ease with making more decisions. It's about taking responsibility for the decisions that you make and for taking decisions. Low confident people that will tend to let the other person decide because they don't trust themselves. That is not to be rejected. They want to be liked. And the issue is that is that you are not in control of your life if you are always letting other people decide for you. So what you should do instead is make a habit of making more decisions. How can you do that? You start slowly. You can do that with a friend because we want to start building your confidence first, I would say with your friends, with people that if something bad happens, you know, like it's a friend, rather than starting that with your superior, with someone at work like we want to be careful with how we build the confidence. So we always want to start here with a friend. Your challenge is to make more decisions with your friends. For example, if you are always asking the question, where, where, where do you want to eat tonight? And your friend says up, I don't know, what do you want to eat? I don't know. You decide, instead of saying that you can say, Oh, we could go there or there, I prefer that what do you think? And you make a decision. So okay, so let's pizza tonight. You want to be more decisive. And the more decides if you become with small things, the more decisions you can make, the better you become at it. And then the bigger the decisions you can make. So start making decisions with your friends and don't force the decisions on to them. For example, if you say, Oh, we are going to eat pizza tonight. And then a person says, I hated in pizza, don't say, Oh, we are going to eat pizza, I assure you. Don'ts don't force that. Make the decision and be open to feedback and be open to see what the person has to say. But be become aware that the decisions you make, the more you can become confident because the more you are in control of your life. And if you are at work and you wanted to make more decisions, don't be afraid to just state your mind, to state the idea that you have or say, Oh, we should do that instead of that, this is what I would recommend we do that. Don't be afraid of stating your preferences. Don't be afraid of just saying, oh, I prefer that rather than that. Because low confident people we say, oh, everything is good for me. Because they, they don't want to hurt the other person didn't want to be rejected. Like they have this fear of being hurt or being rejected. They want to be loved. So they don't want to make a decision. Because if they make a decision, the person can be unhappy. But if you say, Oh, I'm going to train myself to make more decisions and be open to the feedback of the other person. You'll, you'll be more in control of your life, build more confidence, and also you will get the feedback from the other person. So my challenge to you today is to contact a friend and to make a decision there. So for example, instead of asking, where do you want to go today, you could say, Hey, I want to pay tenants today. Do you want to come or I want to play bowling? I wanted to play golf. I want to hang out in a bar in that BAD. You want to come, try to be more decisive with your life. And you will see the more you do it, the more confident you will become. 11. Day 9: Transform Negative Emotions Into Positive Ones (+ Exercise): So how can you transform negative emotions into positive emotions? So if you're experiencing low level of self-confidence, you are experiencing negative emotions. You are worried about what people think of you. You think that you are not creating enough, like you're adapting yourself, you're second guessing yourself. And that's not good emotions. When I say good emotions is like, like the, the good emotions, I think that it's positive emotions that are empowering you. And negative emotions, emotions that are human to feel, but they're not empowering you. It means that if you always doubting yourself being in a negative mood, you're always being upset, always letting other people decide for you. You won't be in an empowering mood and that's what I call negative emotions. So how can you go from this negative emotion to a positive state? The first thing is about changing your body. It means that the way that you are holding yourself, the posture will always be a reflection or what of what's happening in your mind. So if you are stressed, if you're in a negative mood, it's because you have the posture of someone that fields this kind of emotion. So by changing your posture and I encourage you to have the posture of the Superman of like someone who is highly confident. And if you don't know how to do that, you can watch the lecture again on how you can change your posture. What I'm going to do it when I want to change my state. I'm going to change my body quickly. I'm going to change the way I use my body. And sometimes if the emotions is really negative, I, I won't want to change that because our body wants to stay in the state that it's in. So I will have to do something that will completely change the way I use my body. Sometimes it depends where it is, but sometimes I will be jumping in the air. Sometimes they will be jumping in the air. I will do some push ups. I will just dense like a crazy person. I will do something to change the way I'm using my body. Because if I change the way I'm using my body is going to change what's happening here. And if it changed, what's happening here is going to change the emotions that I'm going to feel. So it can be jumping in the air. For example, I had an important meeting the other day. And so here we are in lockdown mode in Switzerland. So I cannot travel right now because we have this COVID situation and I'm doing everything virtually. So I had this important person and I had to talk to that person. And 10 minutes before I was really down of us, I was not in a great mood. And what I did that I jumped in the air and I'll just change my posture. I smiled when I was jumping in the air. I was at home so I could do whatever I wanted. I was just smiling, jumping, and then I opened my posture eye up. I had a posture of someone who was confident and instantly my emotion started changing. So this is the first thing you change, how you use your body and then you focus on something positive. You put your focus on something that empowers you. So I, I just focused on the fact that this interaction would go well and that it will bring a lot of great value for my company, for my life. And I focused on that. And I was focusing on the positive side. So a great way to do it is instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong, you think about the bright side. You think about the positive side. Because if you are experiencing negative things, is because you are thinking about something that triggers these negative emotions. So instead of saying, Oh, I'm going to get rejected, it's not going to work out. You do try to see the glass half full. And in that case I was saying, Oh, I'm not going to focus on the fact that it can go wrong. It can do something bad can happen. I'm going to focus on the fact that it's going to work out. And I just changed my focus and other great thing to do. You can focus on a positive memory. Have a memory when you smile and you are in a positive mood. So first you change your body and then you focus on the glass half full instead of half empty. And, or you can just use a memory that you have that made you smile. And you will activate the emotion of happiness. And if you activate the emotion of happiness, there is no place anymore for the emotion of this negative emotion that you are feeling. You can even tell yourself a, it's going to be okay. And you accurate you are great. You're great. So how do I change my state? I'm feeling down, I changed my body. I can be jumping in the air or just adopting the posture of Superman. I will be thinking about the glass half full instead of half empty. I will, or I will also focus on a positive memory. I would tell myself great things with passion and emotion. And the last step about changing the way our breath. If I'm experiencing negative emotions, I will be breathing in a way that will match this negative emotion. And if you want to be more calm, more confident, you are going to breathe deeply. So I take, so I breathe deeply 3 times, inhaled by the nose, exhale by the mouth. So my challenge to you today is to try that. Today when you're going to experience a negative mood. I want you to use this for advice here. You can use your body, you move it, then you focus on something positive or you focus on the great side of things. You tell yourself empowering things. And then number four, you breath deeply. If you do that, you can change how you feel instantly. I'm not saying that it's not okay to feel bad emotions, these negative emotions. I'm just saying that sometimes you have to give that presentation, you have to talk to your boss and you have to be in a great empowering mood, in a more positive mood. And this is how it can change your emotions. Because if you master changing your emotions, you are able to be in control of how you feel. It can also increase your confidence. Because if you say, Oh, I can control how I feel in every moment, in every situation. It means that if I go to a bar tonight and I feel stressed, I can just use this for advice here. And it can change my state how I feel. Too more positive emotions, more empowering emotions. Because if you feel more power and empowering emotions, you are able to be more confident and feel more confident. You are able to access better parts of your brain to interact with other people or to do what you want to do, rather than if you're low confidence and you are in these negative depressed mood, you want to be accessing the great parts of your brain. So that's why self confidence is so important. And this is a great way here. I use that all the time, all the time when I'm down and I have to be on top. And it also happened that I had to host live events and had food poisoning. It means that 20 minutes before giving the presentation, it was a room full of people are throwing up. So you can imagine when you're in a state like that, you must know how to activate your body. And it was able to do that by just using these four things here. So try them and you will see that you will become a big success. 12. Day 10: Stop Worrying What People Think Of You (+ Exercise): How to stop worrying about what people would think of you. So this one here is huge. And when I was low confident, I was always worried what people would think of me. I was always giving my power away. I would approach someone. I would I would wait for the validation. I would wait for them to tell me if what I was doing with my life was good or not. I would always ask them to make Missy decision for me. And I will always basing my sense of self-confidence in other people's hands. And what happened is that my focus was not on increasing my quality of life, like increasing myself being a stronger self, but it was about letting other people decide for me. And if you let other people decide for you, you are not going to be able to build your self-confidence. Self-confidence people, they have the focus on their life. They are January's. They have people. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying here that they focus the make their own decisions. They reinforce why they are great. They think about their strength. They are not always saying, Oh, I don't have that compared to the other person. There are always saying, Oh, I have that compared to the other person, to think in a more positive way. So if you want to stop worrying about what people think of you, It's about taking responsibility for your life. Give yourself permission to be more competent. And you have to understand that you cannot please everyone. If you are afraid of what people think of you is because you want to please everyone. You don't want to be rejected, you want to be loved. And the issue is that is, you can't control what happens. You think you can control, but you don't control 100% of the interaction. How much you control when you're interacting with someone. You control your 50 percent and they control their 50 percent. It means that you can only control how you express yourself. And they have their 50% where they can interpret it, how they want. Tonight I can go to a bar and approach a woman and I can compliment her. One woman may say, Oh my God, That's amazing. And the other one we say go away. I have no control over that. I can do things. I can say things that have higher chances of working out. Yes, I could do it. But I don't have any control on what people would think of me. And the issue is that if I give my power away, it means that I don't decide for myself, I let other people decide my 50 percent. What happens if someone wants me to do something and then another person wants me to do another thing, and then another person wants me to do another thing. What happens? What do I do? I'm always feeling I was always filling these negative emotions because they said, oh, I have to please my parents have to please my friend, have to follow that advice because I was not thinking truly about what I wanted to do with my life. And there is one thing that totally transformed my life before I was always worried about what people would think of me. And then I heard something amazing. It's someone that is called brawny where she was taking care of people just before they died. And then she asked them a simple question, what is your biggest regrets in life? And you know what almost all of them said. They said, I regret I didn't have the courage to live a life according to myself. But instead, I live the life according to the other people's expectations. And that made me think that made me think how I was living my life. I was always to try to please everyone to meet the other people's expectations. And I was not really living my life, thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. So when I heard that, I said, Okay, I'm going to do what I want with my life. I'm going to build my own business. They're going to travel around the world. These are the kind of friends that I want. These are my passions. Did other people that I don't want to hang out with anymore. And I really decided that the more you can build your 50 percent, the more you can be at ease with who you are, you can be stronger the more you will be able to care less about what people will think of you. And I asked myself this question here, do I want to get the end of my life and have all these regrets that I didn't live a life according to who I was? Or do I want to look back and say, oh, I did what I wanted, what a ride. And if you're watching this video here, It's not too late, you're not dead. So you can still say, Oh, today I'm going to do something that's a little bit aligned with what I want to do. Today. I'm going to take more actions that are aligned with who I am. So a great question for you, and this is your exercise here, is to reflect on who you are, what you want to do, what are your passions? What are your interests? Who do you want to hang out with? What are you personally to traits? To start just making your 50 percent a little bit stronger because we want to decide for yourself. We want to decide about who you want to become. So by writing things down, you can say, Oh, my personality is like that or just the personality traits that I, that I have. Oh, maybe I want to be more positive. Maybe I want to be more charismatic. Okay, so it's something that can work on. Oh, I'm maybe I'm not happy with the work that I have. Or maybe I want to be a painter, or maybe I want to be a singer. You can see here that you start reflecting on life and the moist start reflecting on your life. And then over time, you're going to find things that you enjoy doing with your work, with the people that you hang out with. And you are going to become a stronger version of yourself. And you will depend less on what people would think a few. So build your strength 50%. That's your mission here. 13. Day 11: Push Your Boundaries & Expand Your Comfort Zone (+ Exercise): If you want to become more confident, it's important that you learn to be in a little bit uncomfortable situations. It means that you have the comfort zone. The comfort zone is where you are comfortable. It means that you have your passions, you have few friends. It's everything that makes you comfortable. And then you have the things that are outside of your comfort zone and your goals that you haven't achieved yet. There are outside of your comfort zone. It means that how can you achieve, how can you reach these goals here? So my suggestion to you is to everyday do something that scares you a little bit. Because you want to expand your comfort zone. Because if you expand the amount of comfort that you have in your life, you're going to increase your level of confidence. Because the more comfortable you can be in many situations, the more confidence you can become. Because confidence comes from reinforcing yourself positively that you are able to do something well over and over again. And it also comes with how comfortable you are. Some emission to you today is to do something that is a little bit uncomfortable. You're going to take the elevator with other people. The more people there is, the better. When you take the elevator, you're going to see that all the people will be facing the doors. And what you want to do, you want to be facing the doors like all the people here, they to face the other people. It means that you will be the only one facing other people. And it's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be uncomfortable because people will be looking at you and you will just be there standing like looking at people and everyone will be staring at the door. The mission is about doing that in about just staying there. And you're going to feel emotions, they're going to feel maybe negative emotions. And I want you to reinforce them positively. After that, you see are going to say, what did I do? Well, you are going to reinforce it over today when I did the mission, Alan asked me to do. What did I do? Well, I was able to keep up with the pressure and not turn around. And you make a list. And then you ask the question, what can I do better next time? Maybe next time I can just be more comfortable. Actually, it was not that bad. Maybe next time I could just maybe enjoy and try to smile. And you see here we are reinforcing positively with this exercise here I want to show you the kind of things that you can do. Now I don't know your level of self-confidence. Maybe that's too extreme or maybe you are used to it. I would like you to find these kind of challenges that you can do in your day-to-day life. Because when I wanted to be better with, for example, people, I wanted to have more social confidence. I had to approach people in uncomfortable situations. It means that I would approach group of 10, 20 people and I would try to grab their attention like because that was the level at an adult I was what I was at. And one year before that, I will just just approach one person I would have totally freak out. The first specimen that I approach. I remember I was on the streets that I had to approach that person and I had to ask for the time. And I remember my legs were shaking so much that I approached his person and say hi. And then she looked at me and say, Excuse me, Can I have the time? And I was stuttering and out of that. And then she had her hair earphones. So she took your phones out and then I had to repeat the question again. But I started like that. I stopped and then reinforcing politically, what did I do when I approached this woman? I did it. I asked two times the same question, why did I do it? What can I do better next time? Maybe I could be a little bit less stressed. Maybe I could be more comfortable. Maybe I could try to make a joke. And that's how I improved. I developed my, my self-confidence. So think about the goal that you have. And think about what kind of small challenges you could make on a day-to-day basis to increase, to improve and to expand your comfort zone. Don't do something that is too outside of your comfort zone because then you may not be able to handle the emotional intensity. But if you do something that is a little bit uncomfortable and then you reinforce it with the two questions. What did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? And doing foss confidence like that, It's okay. If you really want to do something that is outside of your comfort zone, just do it and then you really have to interpret it positively. And see that as an experiment. Don't base your value or your abilities to do something. If you do like something like really outside of your comfort zone, just say, Oh, it's going to be an experiment. Whatever happens, happens, but I'm not going to let that impact my self-esteem, self-worth. So you have to be careful with that, but your mission with the elevator is amazing. And then I encourage you to do other small missions. Every day you will see, you will expand your comfort zone and the word will become a place where they can experiment and have fun. 14. Day 12: Develop Self Confidence To Achieve Your Dreams (+Exercise): How can you have more confidence to achieve your dreams? The first thing that is really important is that you must define dreams that are true according to you. You must define dreams that when you think about them, you are excited, you feel this rush of energy. Because confident people, they understood that they have to pursue what is true to them, rather than letting other people dictate what they have to do with the life. And the more you become in control, the more you do things according to what you want to do and to who you are, the more confidential going to become. So that's why it's important that you reflect on the life that you have right now and on the direction where you want to take your life. The best thing to do it is to think in terms of life categories. Because if I ask you, what do you want in your life, it may be difficult to find an answer to. But if I asked you, what do you want in a relationship or what kind of friends you want to have? How much money do you want to make? What are the goals that you have related to self-growth? What are the goals that you have related to adventure? What are the goals that you have related to health? So you think about your life and you ask yourself this question here. What would be 567 categories of my life? And you think it can be health, spirituality, relationships, your family, your career, what are the things? And you imagine that every category is a box. Imagine that the category of your career is a box. And then you ask yourself this question, what do I want to put in this box? Maybe in this box I want to put my, my, my dream job, which is marketing director or I want to be an artist. And you start thinking about your life categories and you start putting things in these, in these boxes here. So the more think about your life, about what you want in your life categories, the more you should feel this rush of energy. Because if you put goals that are not aligned with who you are and that are more like your parents, you friend, or anyone else that wants that for you. You're not going to feel that excitement. So when you write something down, ask yourself this question here. Is it something that you truly want? You're not trying to figure out how you're going to accomplish that yet. We just want to see what are the things that I want for my life. And the more you write things and the more you feel this boot off of energy. And then the more you take action towards this goal, the more you're going to build your self confidence. So when you have found what you want, you are going to ask yourself this question here. Why is it important for me? Why is it important for me to achieve this course? Because a goal without motivation and purpose is a weak goal. So what we want to do is find something that we truly want. What kind of health we want to have, what kind of friends, what kind of relationship, what kind of carrier that we want. And then we're going to ask yourself, then you are going to ask ourselves the question, why is it important? Why do we want that? And we are going to come up with reasons. So now we have shown our brain that there are things that we want to have. We have come up with reasons about why we want to have it. And now we want to start taking small actions. Baby step it towards the goals. And now it's really important that you take small steps towards your goals because we want to start building momentum. You want to build your confidence towards your goal. So you have this goal here in your professional life. You want to take small action, for example, you want to be an amazing public speaker. You want to say, okay, today I'm going to buy a book on public speaking the day after. I'm going to write a speech, blah, blah, and then so on every day, take a small action. And when you take small action, you reinforce it politically with the two questions. What can I, what did I do? Well, what can I do better next time and reinforce it positively? It's important that you start taking action, because if you lack self-confidence, we want to start taking action. Small actions towards what's true to you. Even if you have a job that you don't like right now, you don't need to quit your job right now and change your whole life right now. You could, if you can, if you want. But the idea is to start taking small actions towards Watch want. So then, then you start taking action, and then you start to gain, gaining momentum, and then it becomes easier and New York self confidence increases. Let's say that you had a job because your parents wanted you to get that job and it doesn't fulfill you. And you want to launch your own business. Instead of just quitting a job and say, Oh, I'm going to launch my business. It's something that you can't do. But instead of doing that, you could say, Oh, on the side, I'm going to work half an hour, one hour per day on my business. And these are the small actions, and you take this more actions and reinforce them positively. You do that with your health, with your career, with your friends, with the adventure goals that you want to have with, with everything, with all the life categories. Don't do too much at once, but take 12 or three life categories and start taking small actions towards what you want. And then reinforce them positively. Even if you're not really sure about what you want, start taking some action with the information that you have now, if you think that right now you want to be a painter, but you're not really sure. Start painting, paint for a half an hour a day and see if you really enjoy it. And then you will get more information. And then you can refine what you have put in the box carrier or passion, which is like painting. So it's all about thinking about the kind of life that you truly want to have. So my mission for you today is to download the PDF that is around here. And that contains the steps to really think about what you want to create in your life. 15. Day 13: Boost Your Confidence By Living A Life According To Your Values: How to live in alignment with your values. So confident people, they have defined what they want to live, but also they live a life according to what's important to them. So what are values do are things that you want to feel. For example, it can be connection, love, freedom, contribution, anything that you would like to experience in life. So the idea here is to think about what's important to you. And you want to find the emotional value out of it. For example, if you say, Oh, what's important to me is my, is my fast car. And then you ask yourself this question here. What does that make you feel? Or why is it important for you to have this fast car? And then you try to find an emotional value to that. For example, oh, I have this fast car so that I can have a feeling of freedom, of success or contribution or accomplishment. You try to find the emotions related to that. So the exercise here is to ask yourself this question here. What is important to you in life? And for example, someone who say, Oh, for me it's freedom, connection with my family, then its contribution. Then it's in, then it's, I don't know my connection to God. And they come out with the, come up with things that are truly important to them. And when you found the things that are important to you, It's important that you order them. Which one is the most important value? If I had to only take one value, what would it be? Is it freedom contribution expression? What is it? And then second 1, third, 1, fourth, 1, fifth 1. And your goal is to have the five values that you have that are the most important to you. And then when you have found them, you have to live in, in alignment with them. Let's say that someone has the value as the first one is, for example, freedom, second one, contribution and the second row. And the third one is family. And they have a job where they have no sense of contribution. They have to do eggs. They have no sense of freedom because they have to do everything that their boss asks them to do and they have no time to see the family. This person here won't have a lot of confidence because not living in alignment with their values. So when you come up with the values that you have, think about, how can you live your life more in alignment. For example, in my case, I have freedom, I have loved, I have expression, have all this value here. I've contribution. And I always ask myself this question here, how can I live a life? In alignment with that? For example, expression, I have a job where I can express myself freely. I'm the boss, I can say the things that I want. I can create the content that I want. I can travel where I want. So this is the freedom that I have contribution. I see the contribution that 200 thousand people that have helped. So I see the contribution ice and then the other one was love. Okay, I have a deep relationship. I have dot-dot-dot and I build my life according to that. So maybe you will say, Oh, I am not living a life according to my values right now. Say, Don't worry, just start living a little bit more in alignment. And ask yourself this question. How can they leave a little bit more aligned with my first value, second value, third value, fourth value, fixed value. And maybe there are some activities that you can start doing or stop doing to increase your alignment with your value. So there is a PDF below that will guide you through this amazing exercise to uncover what your values are. And then think more in terms of, okay, what are the things that I should continue stuff? What other thing that I should continue doing? What are the thing that I should stop doing? And what are the thing that I should start doing so that I am in alignment with my life. 16. Day 14: Get The Confidence To Speak Up (+ Exercise): So I can have the confidence to speak up. Low confident people. They will talk softly. They don't want to be heard. They want to be as discreet as possible. And if you want to have more confidence, it's important that you learn how to use your voice and then how to have the courage to speak up. So how can you use your voice? Better, confident people, they use a powerful voice. It doesn't mean that there are yelling. It means that the person that they're talking to other group of people that are talking to can hear them. They are not talking softly. There are projecting their voice. And a great advice for that is actually imagined that the person is not exactly where the person is, but the person is one meter behind. That way you will be projecting your voice and don't be afraid to be loud first because you may think, oh, I don't want to be too loud that you will quickly find when it's too loud and when it's just projecting your voice. If you imagine that the person is just one meter behind and you project your voice, you will be safe. Now, the intonation of your voice are really important because they will convey your confidence level. There are three voice intonations. It means that at the end, the voice can go down, can be neutral, or can go up. If it goes up, if the voice goes up, we call it trying for rapport. It means that at the end the voice will go up and this end it's the voice that is the most used by low confident people because they want to get the validation of the other person they want to try for rapport, for example, is Where are you from? Can I do it? What do you think of me? At the end? It's going up. And if you are doing that, that's okay. Like you can improve it. And I'm going to show you how. The second one is neutral. It means that the International, the end is neutral is how I'm talking to you right now. It's neutral. And then you have breaking rapport is like a policeman will talk to you. It means that at the end, the intonation goes down, which is, hey, hey, can I, can I have your papers please add at the end, it's going down. So it's important that you become aware of the intonations that you use when you're talking to people. So having an iteration of breaking rapport, neutral or training for rapport doesn't mean that the whole phrase, the whole sentence will be trying for rapport. It's really the end. And when you are neutral, it doesn't mean that you don't have any emotions when you speak. You can have a lot of emotions when you speak, but it just the end is neutral because you want to be slightly neutral or slightly trying for rapport because it shows that you're not trying to look for the validation for the other people. I said that the one that goes up is trying for rapport. In other words, you want to get the validation of the other person. At the end, you want to be like, I want to be like love me, don't reject me. And people will notice that. So whenever super shy, I was always ask questions and talk in terms at the end it would go up and then people will sense that there has not been confidence. So I would like to encourage you to be more at ease with the intonations of neutral. When great way to do that is that you can start talking at home. You can start speaking in a more, at the end. That is more neutral way. A great way to do that is to record yourself. You can record yourself when you took a home and you alone or with your partner or with a friend, Record and then you listen and then you ask yourself this question. Is the information going up? Is it neutral or is it going down? And what you want to do is to become aware of that so that you can go less into train for rapport. Now it's important to understand that. It depends on who you're talking to. For example, if you talk to a police man, it's possible that it will go up or someone that you are impressed by, it's possible that it will go up, but by understanding that it happens, you can consciously say, Oh, I'm just going to talk in a more neutral way. And the more confidence you become, the more you're going to talk in this neutral way of slightly breaking rapport. That's why I wanted to make you aware here of projecting your voice. Imagine that the person is one liter behind and be aware of that. Be aware of these intonations because that will really help you become and sound more confident. Now, give yourself permission to speak up. Give yourself permission to be a little bit more loud, to share your ideas, to share your opinions with other people. Because in an interaction, you have your 50 percent of the interaction and the other person has their 50 percent. So you have the option of speaking up. Don't consider that like the other person's opinion is more important than yours. Yes. If you're in a company and then there is a there is the shoe boss that, and it depends on the rules. But just think in terms of when you're interacting with someone, you have 50 percent of the interaction. The other person has their 50 percent. And I have 50 percent where I can share. I can speak up and I can say the thing that I like, that I don't like my ideas, my opinions. So if you give yourself permission here, you give yourself permission to share your ideas. You're not trying to put the other person's down, trying to destroy the other person. You're just sharing. You're stating your preferences. And if you think it that way, I'm just stating the thing that I like and that I don't like. I'm stating my preferences, my rights as a human being to do it. If you understand that, then you can become more confidence and you can be more at ease with sharing who you are, expressing, who you are. So you challenge for you today is to imagine when you are talking to someone, that the person is one meter behind. Do it. And then you will see that you will project your voice a little bit more. And the more you project, the more it will go into neutral breaking rapport. Because it's really difficult to project your voice and goes on and go up. So this is a small ship here. Do it and you will see that you really make a difference and you'll have more confidence when you want to speak up. 17. Day 15: Stop Making Excuses (+ Exercise): Why you should stop making excuses. So people who are not that confident, they will try to come up with excuses just to avoid taking new actions, avoid getting into new interactions. Because they will say, Oh, I cannot do it because it didn't really come up with an excuse to say, I cannot do it because I don't have my my favorite Thai because I have my hair don't look awesome because I have that two that I have to do because I'm late and that will come up with excuses. And it's actually a way that your brain has developed to protect your, yourself actually. So if you are in this low confidence mode, you are going to come up with excuses because you don't want to change how you feel. You don't want to evolve socially. And our brain wants to keep us the way we are. So when we want to do something that is uncomfortable, we want to put ourselves out there. We are going to come up with an excuse just to protect ourselves. So it's important that you understand that when you will want to take actions that are a little bit uncomfortable because you want to grow your comfort zone. There will be times, most of the time where you will find excuse and you want to act. So it's important that you understand that it can happen. And then you push through these excuses. When I coach people at networking events and I coach them on how they can approach other people. And then I tell them, Look, there is dispersion here that you could approach. It's amazing that can really help your company. Why don't you go and talk to them? They will say, Oh, but I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't have my favorite Thai. I'm tired. I want to have a drink first and they come up with all these excused just to prevent them from taking action. And is it the fact that they say, Oh, I don't have my favorite shirts or I don't like my hair. Really an excuse. It's not just it's not serving them, it just protecting them not to act. So I would like you to encourage you to just do something that scares you a little bit every day. And when you have this excuse that come up, you just say, hey, I'm not going to let that stop me. And then you ask yourself this question here. Is it really something real that I'm experiencing like an excuse that I have that is really real. That, for example, I don't want to approach this person because I don't have my my reports that they have to give to them or is it more like a I don't want to approach them so that it can protect my self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. And the more you become uncomfortable with doing things like that are a little bit, I'm outside of your comfort zone. The more you will become confident and you will destroy this excuses. Something that helped me really well during ice bath. So if you want to do an ice bath, there are things that you must do before that. Like don't try that at home, maybe see someone that really knows how to do it or a professional that can help you that with that, I had to start doing ice bath. And the time where I would just do it, I would say I don't want to go in I don't want to go in a bath with ice and you have to stay there for a few minutes. It makes crazy. And your mind will start finding all these excuses. All but maybe not today, maybe tomorrow. And I was able to just go in the ice bath and not listen to the excuses that my mind was coming up with what's coming up to protect me. And then I did that on the lake. So here in winter in Switzerland, the leg gets really cold and it's really amazing. I have the smallest the snow around and you can swim in the lake. So you can imagine it's really, really cold. And every Friday I was going with a friend. And every Friday you go there and you swim in that lake. The first time is a little bit scary. Say, Oh, I don't want to do it, I don't want to do it. And you start coming up with executes after one month that you do it. You just do it. You know, like you have to go there. You you throw your body in that in that water. And it's something that you have to do. And the excuses, you won't be finding that much excuses anymore because you become at IIT and become comfortable with that. That's the same thing here with developing yourself of confidence. When you expand yourself, you're going to reach a point where you will have executed that are trying to hold you back. And it's important that you identify them and say, Oh, no, no, no, I'm not going to let that excuse prevents me because it's an excuse that is there to prevent me from growing. And when you identify that, you should take action to break these excuses that are coming up. So your mission today is to identify during the day when you come up with excuses that are just excuses just to prevent you from taking action that are excused just to keep you safe. And when you identify that, you break through that excuse and you will see will become a big success because you'll be taking massive action towards your goals. 18. Day 16: Stop being Approval Seeking (+ Exercise): Why should you stop being approval seeking? Approval, seeking it means that you're always worried about the other person, what the other person will think of you. You're always waiting for the other person's approval. You tell a joke, you say something, you ask a question, and you're always waiting for the approval of the other person. And that can be an attractive. Maybe you have already been in a situation where you are talking to someone and the person was adapting who the where too much. There we are waiting for your validation, do or say something. And they were waiting for you to say, yeah, it's good, it's good. And they were always saying something and they were looking at you just to validate them. And low confident people, they tend to be approval seeking. So what you should do instead is don't put the focus on other people. Don't give them the power to validate your validate yourself first. So it's important that you just understand that you don't need others to validate you. So the more confident you become, the last validation seeking you will be. And if you want the validation of other people, it's because you are afraid of being rejected. You don't want them to say, No, you're like what you're doing is wrong, like you are failure or you failed, or you don't want them to reject you because you want to be loved. So, or if you experience this year and these are fears that are completely natural, the fear of being rejected. You must just understand that it's normal to be rejected. And I don't want you to see rejection as something that if you think, oh, rejection is bad, you are going to interpret it negatively. Instead of saying rejection, say learning experience. For example, don't say I got rejected, say I had a learning experience, because then it will be less negative. It will be more positive. And then you say, Oh, I just approached, add this learning experience rather than 0, I got rejected. And if you think about that, being rejected is great. Because it can make you save time, money, energy. Maybe you are not meant to be professionally or personally with the other person and he just got rejected. You cannot click with everyone and people who are low confidence, that's the issue that they have, is that they think that they have to click with everyone. They have to adapt who they are to really be accepted by everyone. And by doing that, you're always adapting who you are. And you don't want to be rejected because you think that rejection is bad and you always wanted to be approved by everyone. But if you understand that rejection is no more, if you're not being rejected many times per day, you are doing something wrong because you cannot truly connect with someone and click with someone. If you're always adapting who you are to please everyone, It's better to connect with few people and have a deep connection rather than being liked by everyone and don't have this deep connection with people. If you are being liked too much, It's because you are adapting who you are too much. And there is a level of okay, I can adapt myself a little bit just to be liked by people and completely adapt and change why I am just to be liked by everyone. So it's important that you think about. Okay. Are you in are you expressing yourself? Oh yeah. Are you always trying to make an impression on people so that they don't reject you. If you accept who you are and we're going to work on that later in the course. If you accept you boost your self-worth. You accept yourself more. You are going to be able to express yourself more and you are not going to be afraid of rejection anymore because you will have already validated yourself. You will love yourself and say, Oh, I don't need the love or approval of other people. I already have my love and my approval. So your mission for today is to be aware when you are approval seeking, to be aware of when you're interacting with someone who say, Oh, I'm being approval seeking right now. I'm carrying too much about what they sink and not enough about who do I want to be? What do I want? So when you are in that mode here, I want you just to be aware of it and rectify that by saying, oh, I want to be putting the focus on their validation, but I want to put the focus back in my body and think about the thing that I want. How I want to express, how I want to express my life, What's important to me or not. So if you do that every day, you do this exercise here, you will learn that it's, it's more powerful to just take the focus back in your body rather than trying to get the validation from everyone. And if you do that, your self-confidence will go through the roof. 19. Day 17: How Confident People Think About The Past, Present & Future: Now let's talk about how confident people perceive the past, the present, and the future. So first, I would like to show you how low confident people perceive the past, present, and future. Low confident people that will look at everything that was wrong in the past, everything that they failed while other people were better than them. So they will always in their mind play the movie of, Oh, this person was better than me. This person did that. This person, I failed at that moment, this is what I did wrong, and they will always interpret the situation negatively in the past. In the present, there will be having a posture of someone who has low confidence. They will be just going through the days and not taking care of how they feel. They won't be controlling, how they feel, how they react. What happens in D9 that will be in reaction to the environment. And then when I would think about the future, there will be worried, there'll be upset. So we'll think that everything can go wrong. And they will say, Oh, I prefer to think that everything will go bad, that I will be rejected so that I don't get disappointed. And what happens is that if they think that it will be rejected in the future, that will have an energy, something about them that says, I want to be rejected in the future. So there are higher chances of them being rejected. And then approach someone to get rejected. And they say, Oh, I told you I was prepared for that. But it's because the thing about this negativity, so we can see here that it's more a negative focus. It means that the person is looking at the glass half empty instead of half full. And more confident people that will look at the past and see what they did well. They will see the accomplishments that we learn from their mistakes, that we learn from what happened. But they're not going to relieve that movie. They're going to see what they could have improved that are going to learn from that. And then they're going to focus and reinforce what happened well, in the past. In the present. We'll be having the posture of someone who is confident that we'll be breathing deeply. There will be telling themselves positive things such as a Islands. You can do it, you are great. You can do it. There will be asking themselves the question, what did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? They will be excited about living. There will be excited about their confidence. And if they think about the future, they will have positive anticipations. It means that there will be excited about the future. They won't be focusing on the fact that they can get it rejected and that everything could go wrong. There is a 0. If I approach this person, I can give that to the other person. I can make the other person feel great time. I can share my product with this person and can improve their life. I can make the person laugh. And there are always thinking positively. There are visualizing the life more positively. So if you want to become a more confident person, used a confident mindset. You look at the past and you analyze what you did well and the things that you could have improved. But you don't really leave this negative movie. You learn what has to be learned. And then you replay the movie of, oh, this is what happened in the past. This what I did well, and you reinforce it that way. And then when you are in the present tense, you have the posture. You tell yourself, Oh Alan, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. And then you ask yourself this question, what did I do? Well, what can I do better the next time? You breathe deeply, you use all the hacks that we are seeing here. And then you excited about the future. You visualize it going well in the future. Because the more you are able to see the glass half full in the picture, the more confidence you will become. And actually, you could decide if you want to see the future more positively or negatively. It's always the glass. Do you want to see the glass half full or half empty? Do you want to focus on the fact that you could get rejected or focus on the fact that you could make an amazing cook. You could create an amazing interaction. What do you want to focus on? So as you can see here in this course, I'm always talking about the glass half full. I'm saying that in almost every lecture is because that's the basics. If you want to become a confident, you have to understand that. You have to become more positive in the sense of how you interpret life, how you are excited about life, how you anticipate life to happen. You have to anticipate more positively. And when you look at yourself, don't look at all the things that you did wrong are all your weaknesses and compare yourself with other people. You just look at what you did well, you can improve some parts of your life. But you are always thinking, Okay, what did I do well, what did they do well, and you think in terms of okay, why do you have value as a human being compared to okay, why do other people are better than me? So you can see here that it's really important to understand how people think. So my challenge to you today is to start using this mindset here. When you think about the past, tried to think about it more positive. You learn for much to learn, and then you reinforce positively the rest. How do you do that? You ask the question, what did I do? Well, what did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? In the present, you use all the advice we have seen here, the posture, how you talk to yourself. You can activate the energy of confidence by thinking about the confidence memory. You can use the posture, you can use everything that we have seen here. You breathe deeply and you're excited about the future. You think that the future is going to go well, that you're going to approach that person and they are going to like you. Maybe they won't. But it's better to think that it's going to go well than badly. Because if you think that things are going to go well, you're going to have a body language that says, oh, I, I expected going well, and you will have a higher chances of success. And if you have higher chances of success, you will be able to build more confidence than just expecting it going badly. Because then you will have this body language of, oh, I expected going badly. It will go badly. And then it will reinforce the fact that you don't have confidence and that you're not able to do things correctly. So this one here is really amazing and think about this mindset and apply that into your own life. 20. Day 18: Boost Your Confidence With Gratitude & Happiness: If you want to increase your level of confidence, it's important that you understand that you can activate to emotions. Being grateful and happiness. Being grateful means that you appreciate life. You appreciate what's around you. And low confident people that will tend to look for the things that are missing, the things that they miss, the settings that they lack. According to other people that we always see in the terms of I don't have enough, I'm not good enough. And if you practice being grateful, you will practice seeing the world. In the positive side, you will practice seeing what's great instead of what's missing. So a great exercise that I have for you. If you want to be more grateful. Every day when you wake up, you ask yourself this simple question here. What are three things that I'm grateful for? And when you wake up, you will be opening your eyes. What are three things that I'm grateful for? I am grateful that I am alive. I'm grateful because I have this amazing meeting today. I'm grateful because I'm a great husband. No matter what it is. It's something that you're grateful for. It could be something really small like, Oh, I'm alive or, or it can be, or I have this important meeting that can change my life no matter what it is, it just about appreciating life that you have. The more you do it, the better it is. You can do that with 10 sentences. You can say, okay, what are 10 things that makes me grateful? What are the 10 things that I'm grateful for? And you think about that and you feel the emotion of gratitude. What we are doing here. So we are changing your focus here from o, I'm focusing on everything that I lack in that I don't have to. Okay. I'm focusing on the things that I already have. So the more you do it, the more you become conscious of the great things that are already around you. And I encourage you throughout the day to appreciate the beauty of life. You appreciate, oh, this flower, this couple that is, that is loving themselves. You appreciate this person that smiles at you. You appreciate this moment, you appreciate this amazing thing that you see starts being in abundance mentality start being an appreciation mode rather than than 0. Rather than seeing everything that is going bad around you, that everything that is bad and wrong. We are changing your focus here. And the great way is to start by being more grateful. Now, another emotion that you can activate is the emotion of happiness. And you must understand that happiness is a choice. You could decide to be happy right now. And one of the great exercise that you can do to activate the emotion of happiness and that it will help you become a confident, is to always focus on a positive memory. When you wake up in the morning, you close your eyes and you think about a positive memory. If you think about a time when you are happy, you will experience the emotion of happiness and then you amplify it in your body. And you're able to activate the emotion of happiness. And other great advice is to give you permission to be happy. Because most people don't have a rule for happiness that says, I'm going to be happy when I'm going to be happy when I have the house, I have the car, I have the $1 million and the delay, the happiness. They say, Oh, I want, I'm only giving myself permission to be happy in the future and they don't experience happiness now. So what you would like to do here is take this rule that isn't the future and makes it really easily attainable. By rule for happiness is I'm happy when I am alive. It means that every morning I wake up and I say, how am I alive? Yes, I can be happy. And I became a more positive person that way by changing your rule from the future to a rule that is right now easily attainable. So I would like to encourage you to think about the rule that you have for happiness. And this is your mission. Today. You take a piece of paper and you write down, I will be happy or I experienced happiness when. Or I will allow myself to be happy when. And you will see that most people will have a rule in the future. And the goal here is to create a rule that is easily attainable. I'm happy when I realized, I'm happy when I opened my eyes. So that in the morning, you can just think about the rule for you happiness and say, Hey, I opened my eyes, yes, I am, I, am I alive? Yes. And then you can experience the emotion of happiness. So this is your challenge here. And I know some people will say, yeah, island, but if I experience the emotion of happiness right now, I won't be motivated to push him. I goals. And the thing is that if you don't experience happiness right now and you won't have empowering emotions to make you move forward. And if you experience good emotions right now, happiness, you will be excited because it's a goal that you truly have, but you will be able to draw, to draw upon like good emotions. You have this happiness here that will give you better ways of thinking, better ways of making decisions, more excitement, motivation. So if you delay this happiness, you won't have all the resources that are available within you. That's why by, by having this rule here of 0, I'm happy because I'm alive, I'm happy because I opened my eyes or whatever you rule is for happiness, then you are able to have this great emotions and you will feel more confident because if you are more grateful, MR. Positive, more happy, happier, you will feel more confidence. So try that you will see it will really make a huge difference in your life. 21. Day 19: Be In A Positive Environment: It's important to be in a more positive environment if you want to increase your self-confidence. When I started 15 years ago, I was so shy I started and I had no self-confidence at all. I was with people who are always trying to put me down. I would go out, I would approach someone and they would laugh at me. They would laugh, hey, you tried that, It was weird. You got rejected. And they were the people who are doing nothing really prefer to laugh about other people than just taking action for their own life. So add to improve. I had to improve the people that were around me. I had to get rid of these people and I had to find other friends who were supporting me. So my suggestion for you is if you want to become a confident, tried to find more positive people that can encourage you to take action, that can boost you, that can compliment you, that want the best for you. And if you are able to find these kind of people, you can let them impact you. And if you find people who are more positive and who compliments you, who encourage you to become a better person, then you can, you can surround yourself more with these people and they can let them impact you and try to get read or to diminish the amount of time that you spend with people that are trying to put you down. You can get rid of friends. Or you could spend less time with this kind of friends that are trying to put you down. And if you have a situation where you have to be with that person, for example, its job, and it's your boss, or it's someone that you have to be in that situation. First, you can always decide to get out of this situation no matter who it is. But if you want to stay, try to keep your job and to be with this person who's always trying to put you down, what you can do is that you can distance yourself emotional. And a great way to do that is that you imagine that the person is saying, that the person who is saying the things is a five-years old child. Do you take seriously a five-years old child that is telling you something now because it's it's if it's a child. But if you think that it's your boss that is giving you that the impact that would have on you will be stronger than if you just imagine that it's a five-year-old child. So you're going to respect the person, but you are not general, not going to let what they have to say impact to that much because you can say, oh, it's a five-year-old child, we imagine as the five-year-old child, and you trust yourself more. So it's important that you surround yourself with great people. So your mission for today is about thinking who you surround yourself with. There is a quote from Jim, one that says that we are the average of the five people that we hang out with. If you want to become a confident hangout with more confident people. So other people around you who are more confident, more positive, or who are like the friends that you want to attract. And then you surround yourself with these people. You tried to contact them and you try to spend more time with them. And then you also analyze your life. And you analyze the people who are dragging, dragging you down and you tried to remove them or spend less time with them. Because if you don't make space for your new people, the new people won't be able to answer your life. So it's important that you get rid of the people that are dragging you down so that you have more space for the new people that are really supporting you, encouraging you. And that's how I was able to build a life for people around me. They are trying to put me up. Every everyone was trying to put me down. I got rid of them because I'm at a level where I have to be at my best because of my job, of the travels of everything that I do professionally. I want to have people who support me see it more fun that way. And even if it's a family member, if it's someone that you love, maybe discuss with this person. Tried to tell them, Hey, maybe we should encourage MIMO and try to transform them in more positive people that can encourage you, can, you can talk to the person. And then if you see that these people have really a bad impact on you, tried to decrease the amount of time you spent together that you spent together. And you will see your whole life will go to a new level and you will be able to become more confident. 22. Day 20: Boost Your Self Acceptance, Self Esteem & Self Worth: How can you boost your self worth in 10 minutes? So low confident people, they forget about how awesome they are, The forget about everything they have accomplished. So if you want to boost your confidence level, it's about reminding yourself of the greatness that you have, of all the great things that you have accomplished and why you have value as a human being. So I would like to encourage you to do the 100 sentences exercise. Though there is a PDF below that you can download and do this exercise. Basically, you are going to write down 100 sentences about why you are awesome, why you have value as a human being, and what makes you create. We have lived so much things in our life and we forgot the great things that we have accomplished. We forgot why we have value as human beings. And by doing this exercise here, you're going to remind yourself of why you are awesome of the value that you have, the true value that you have. So when I did this exercise here, I was really uncomfortable. I sat on a chair and then I only found three things or I'm creates because I have value, because I only found a few things, is because my brain was not trained. See the great things that I had accomplished in life. My brain was not trained to see all the accomplishments I had done. So it can happen that you start this exercise and then you reflect, write a few of them and then you say, Oh, there is nothing else. That's why it's important that you lock yourself in a room because you only want to come out of this Roman. After that, you have written the 100 and sentences and watch what can you write about. You can write about the things you have accomplished while you are great when you have value as a human being. And also it can be delusional. For example, you can say, Oh, I'm creating because I have cool hair. Is it true that I have cool hair? I don't know, but I think I have coiled hair, so I believe I have cool hair. And what's important that you believe it It does, It doesn't have to be necessarily true, but it has to be something that you believe in. Oh, I have values of human being because I'm a great husband, because I get this diploma, because I get this job, because I'm following my dreams because I wake up with energy. Because, you know, like you come up with things. Because the idea is to find 100 sentences about why you're awesome. What makes you great? Because you want to show you brain that you are already awesome. You are already asked them we are releasing your greatness. So what can happen is that you start doing this exercise. And then your brain says, Oh, I don't want to do it because it will change me too much. And you will start seeing or maybe I should clean my house. Maybe I should, I should go out with friends. You will find things to avoid doing this exercise here because it may be uncomfortable, because it can uncover how awesome you are. So it's important that when you do it, if you lock yourself in a room and say, Oh, I'm going to do this 100 sentences and I'm not going to come out before I do it. You can turn off your phone, you lock yourself in that room. Thus, the option number 1, option number 2, is that you write down 10 sentences in 10 days. So every night before going to sleep, you're going to write down 10 sentences about what makes should wait, why you're awesome, Y-hat value as human being. And if you have someone that you can share your life with and someone frozen that sleeps with you. You can say, Oh honey, Don't let me sleep before I have this 10 sentences. And the other person has to make you accountable. And the other person won't let you sleep until you have completed that exercise. If you don't have anyone with you, you can just say, Oh, I'm not going to sleep until I have the ten sentences. After 10 days, you will have the 100 sentences. Then what do you do that? First, you can say congratulations, because you did it. And I know that most people will give up before the 100. So really do the 100th sentence exercise to be powerful. When you have done that, you will read them out loud. You can first just read them and you can put some emotions like you, you believe it. So you're going to read them out loud. You can even go in front of the mirror and you read one sentence and you look at yourself in the mirror so that you can associate your face with what you have said. And if you do that, you can do that every morning. You read the 100 sentences, you can read them out loud and look at yourself in the mirror. You are going to remind yourself or how awesome you are. And it's going to boost your self worth and you are going to become more confident. So this is an amazing exercise that I highly encourage you to do. The pdf is just below. Let's go. 23. Day 21: Increase Your Self Acceptance & Become Comfortable In Your Own Skin: How can you become more comfortable in your own skin? So in order to be more confident, You must be more at ease with who you are with, what should look. And a great way to do that is to use what I call the mirror exercise. So it's an exercise that I've invented at that so many people all around the world have used successfully to boost the self-worth. So how does it work? I encourage you to do with home. Why? Because you have to be naked. So you could do that somewhere, but you must be in a place where you can lock the door and you want to go naked in front of a mirror. And when you are going to go in front of the mirror, you are going to look at yourself. You're just going to look at what you see. This is how you look, this is who you are. And you may, you may experience mixed feelings. You may say, Oh, I'm fat, I'm in shape, I must color. I like it, I don't like it. You will be thinking about so many things. But first I want you just to look at yourself and just accept that this is how you look. Step number one is about accepting. Accept what you see. This is how you look right now, then we can improve it. But right now, this is the image that you have. Then you're going to ask yourself this question here. What are the things that I like about myself physically? You can say, Oh, I like my shoulders, I like my eyes, like my hair, I like my legs. What are the things that you like when you look at this mirror here, we want to boost our self-esteem. We want to show that the last things in ourselves that we like. And right now we are not thinking about all the things that we don't like. We are starting here by reinforcing the things that we like in ourselves. And try to make a list of at least ten things. And I know it can take some time depending on your confidence level, but try to make a list of 10 things that you like in yourself. And even if you say, Oh, there is nothing I like about myself, try to think a little bit harder. Then the next question that you can ask yourself is, what are the things that I don't like about myself and that I can improve. For example, you think that you are the weights. You don't like your hair. There are things that you don't like in yourself and you can improve. Your goal here is to find three things that you could improve. And then you are going to take action to improve them. Because there are things that you don't like about yourself. You can improve. For example, you don't like your hair. One of the actions could be to call your hair dress and say, Hey, help me, I need some help. And then you go to the hairdresser or for example, you think that you are overweight. It's something that you don't like about yourself and you can improve. You can say, oh, I'm going to take action. So two more I could go forward and the day after, I can eat a little bit better. Always the baby steps. Remember what we discussed before? Always taking small actions towards your goals and reinforce them positively with what did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? The idea here is to find three things that you don't like about yourself and that you can improve and then act on that. Right now, we have accepted, we see, we have reinforced the things that we liked in ourselves. And we are working on the things that we don't really like about ourselves. So right now it's already improving our self-worth, self-esteem, self-image. And now the last question is really important is, what are the things that you don't like about yourself and that you cannot change. The things that you can't change and you don't like about yourself. Maybe you don't like the shape of the nose. There are things that you don't like and you are always saying, Oh, I'm not confident because I hit the shape of my nose. There is nothing I can do it. Nothing I can do about it. But I'm just going to say that I'm not confident that I don't accept it. If it's something that you don't like about yourself and you don't. So if it's something that you don't like about yourself and that you cannot change. You should accept them. Why? Because if you don't accept the things that you don't like and you don't end and you cannot change. You will always be self-conscious about that. And it will destroy your self-image. If there is nothing you can do about it. Accepted, accepted, live with that. And the quicker you can accept that, the quicker you can increase your self-esteem. Because when you are in a social situation and you don't have a lot of self-confidence because you're always worried that people will think that you have a big nose. And it's something that you cannot change. And you say, Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And you're always self-conscious is not going to increase your confidence level. And I will tell you something if you accept the things that you don't like about yourself and that you cannot change. People will start reacting more positively towards you because maybe they make fun of you because you don't accept that things and people think people perceive that you don't accept these things. But if you at ease with who you are with your body and say, Oh, this is what I like about myself. What I like about myself. These are the things that I don't like and they are improving and did other things that I don't like and that I cannot improve. And I have accepted them. You boost your self image. So I highly encourage you to do this exercise today. We will see it will really make a huge difference in your life and you will take your self image to the next level. 24. Day 22: Improve Your Self Esteem (+ Exercise): Now let's talk about how you can improve your self-esteem. Your self-esteem is the reputation that you have with yourself. The reputation you have with yourself. So how can you have a better reputation? There are three things that you can do. The first thing is about just loving yourself a little bit more. Let me ask you this question here. What do you do when you meet someone that you love? What you do at a moment in time, who will just hook them? You will hug them because you love them. Now let me ask you this question here. When was the last time that you have a hug yourself? When was the last time? I know it's a crazy question, but when was the last time that you heard yourself? Literally, when was the last time? And most people would say, never, say, Oh, you can try that. And if you can do it, no one will see it. You just close the door and you try and you try just to hug yourself, you can't do it like that. You will see how great it feels. No one has to know that you do it. You can do it. You just hug yourself for a few seconds. You can even close your eyes and just accept that. Oh, I'm hugging myself. And it all starts here with improving their reputation. You are loving yourself. You're loving yourself even more. So how do you serve in the morning? You can do that. No one will know and you will see how awesome, Nice. Try it right now. Number 2 is about accepting the compliments that people give you. What happens with people who have low self-esteem and low confidence. When someone will give them a compliment, they will sing that is not genuine. Oils like people are making fun of them or it's not true. For example, someone says, Oh, I really like whatever you have, like, I really like your dress and relax your shirt. I really, really like that traits in your personality. I really like that. And most people will say, Oh, the person said that to make fun of me. Because people who are low confident they will interpret most of the things negatively. And when someone gives them a compliment to boost their self-esteem, they will try to destroy it so that they can stay consistent with the state that are in a state of low self-esteem and low confidence. So it's important that when someone gives you a compliment and you perceive its genuine, you just accept it. You let this compliments impact you. Because most people who are low confidence when someone gives a complement that will try to block it and destroying or it's not true, the paper, the person is lying. That will destroy the complement before it can really boost your self-esteem. So your challenges, when someone gives you a compliment, you let it impacts a good complement, okay? You let it impacts you. And now number three is about complementing yourself in the morning. When you brush your teeth and you are looking at yourself in the mirror. Instead of thinking about everything you have to do that day, just give yourself three compliments. Don't think about everything that is wrong or about the things that you don't like. Just say, what are three complements that I could give myself in the morning? And you're brushing your teeth, you look at yourself and you give yourself three components. Now, your mission for today is about thinking about all the compliments that you got in the past. And that's you didn't lead them impact you because you try to destroy them before it impacted you. I'm thinking about the good compliments, about the compliments that people made you and that's where genuine and that were there just to help you that that was a great compliment. I'm not talking about the compliments that someone made to make fun of you. I am just thinking about the great, genuine compliments. And you are going to think about the compliments that you got and you're going to let them impact you. So you mission is to find ten compliments that people made in the past. Write them down and to let them impact you. And if you do that, it will increase your level of self-esteem, which is the reputation that you have with yourself. 25. Day 23: Become Confident In Social Interactions (+ Exercise): So how can you increase your confidence in social situations? So there are five tips that I want to share with you. The first one is about having a positive anticipation about what's going to happen. Let's say that you are in a social setting and you want to boost your confidence one great way it's about thinking that what's going to happen next is going to be great. It means that if you want to approach someone, if you want to do something socially, you are going to just play a movie in your mind that is going to go well, that you are going to have a great interaction, that the person will like you. You're going to think positively because people who lack self-confidence that will be worried about what people would think of them. That we'll focus on the rejection, that will focus on all these negative things. And if you focus on these negative things, what's going to happen is that you won't have the confidence that you need to approach people. Instead, you choose to focus on the positive things. So the two ways to do it, the first way that you can do that home. Home, you just visualize you close your eyes and you imagine yourself interacting with people and you imagine it going well. You think about that curve and boyfriend, that person that you want to approach, that client, that CEO, that colleague, that client, that that person that you want to meet, you close your eyes and you imagine it going well. You imagine you interact with them and we want to build confidence here. We are not thinking about everything that could go wrong in this situation. We are building the situation here in our mind because our brain cannot perceive the difference between something it has imagined and something that you have lived. So it means that if home, you visualize yourself succeeding socially, the impact will be the same as if you were interacting with people. If you feel the emotions, the impact will be the same. So the goal here is to visualize yourself succeeding when you at home sitting on the couch, you close your eyes, you visualize yourself succeeding over and over again. Any fear, discrete emotions. The more you do it, the more experience you brain will think it has, and the more confidence you will become because you will have, you will have interacted with people and you did something well because you are thinking that everything goes well when you're doing your visualization. So that's why the more you do it, the more confidence you can have. And then the other way is just before approaching someone. When I have someone I want to approach and I want to boost my confidence. Or just for few seconds. Imagine it going well, I can close my eyes, are not. It depends. I will imagine that interaction will go well. I would imagine the person smiling, the person liking me, the bursts and exchanging numbers, the brain, the person saying yes to person laughing. I will imagine that before approaching people. And this is what confidence people do if you want to increase the level of confidence, this is one key that you should really. Take into account and practice, practice this visualization. It will really help you. Number two, what's the value that you can give in an environment? If you want to increase your confidence, it's about understanding that she can give value in that environment. Because if you're not confident, it's because you think that you are not great enough or that you don't have enough value to give in that environment. So a great thing that you can do is that you make a list of why you have value in that environment. It means that you want to go to a networking event, to a bar, to a club, to a restaurant. And you ask yourself this question here. Why do I have value in that environment? What are the things that I can give in that environment? I go to this bar tonight. I can make the other person laugh. I can tell a joke. I can give the other person a great time. You know, like we are thinking about why you have value in that environment and what are the things that you can give. The more you train your brain to think that way, the more confidence you will become in that situation. That's why it's important to do that for every social environment where you want to be confident. For example, you had that networking event, okay? Why do have value in that environment? What are the things that I can keep? Because if you understand that there are things that you can give in that environment, you will be more confident because you see that you can give value to people. So it's really powerful if you really think in terms of, okay, what is the value that I have and what are the things that I can give. We can see it. You can see here that we're not focusing on all the negative things that could happen on saying that we are not good enough and that other people are better than us. And we're not saying that we are consciously thinking about certain things so that it boosts our level of confidence. So this wasn't a two and it's really powerful. Number three, you're always ask the question, what did I do well, and what can I do better next time you interact with someone, you go home, you ask yourself this question, why did I do well, what can I do better next time? And you start understanding here that these two question here we used to reinforce everything in our life and to build the confidence that we need. So this one is great. Every interaction that you have asked yourself this question here, the more you reinforce it positively, the more you feel these positive emotions, the more confidence you will have next time. Because your brain would have perceived that you are able to do things well in that social environment. So the more you do it, the more you ask yourself these two questions, the more confidence you become. Number 4, go with a friend. If you want to have more confidence, go with someone because it's easier to approach people to interact with people if you have someone with you. And this person can help you in the conversation, discussion can approach for you. This person can get the dispersant, can give fuel to the interaction. And sometimes it's better to have more people in the interaction because there are more things that you can talk about. And if there is a blank, there are more people that can re-initiate that. You become more comfortable. So a great way to become a confident is to have someone with you. Now don't make it an excuse if you don't have anyone that can help you interact with people, do it alone. But it's easier if you have someone number 5, use the posture. This one here is really powerful because that's the fastest way to boost your confidence when you need in social interactions. However, presentation have a networking, you are going to negotiate for arrays. There is anything social, you're going to a job interview. Always have the confident posture. You're going to project confidence, you're going to feel confidence, and then you are going to become confidence. So again, quickly, the posture that you should have your open your chest, you imagine that there is a string pulling you to the sky. You use big gestures. You have a lot of facial expressions. You take space with your, with your legs, with your hands. Like you take space when you gesture, gesture a lot. And you imagine that you have underwater moves. It means that you are moving and it's as if you were under the water. You are not stressed, but you are moving under the water. And basically that's how you can become a confident. It's not something magical, it just a process that you have to repeat over and over again. So if you apply these five techniques here and you do them consistently when you are in a newer interaction or in social settings, you will become a confident because you are reinforcing them positively. And if something bad happens, someone rejects you or something really impacts you negatively. You just say, oh, this was an experiment. I was just experimenting. It means that if you see life as an experiment, as improving your self-confidence as an experiment, you won't let it impact you too much negatively. And that's how you can distance yourself. If something really bad happened, say, Oh, it was just an experiment. And then you reinforce positive what went well and what you can improve next time. So my challenge to you is to apply these five advice here. But most importantly, I want you to have a positive anticipation about what's going to happen. It means that you are in that social interaction. But before going to that interaction, before approaching people, they are just need to close your eyes. And for a few seconds you are going to visualize it going well. If you do that, you will see that you will become a big success and your confidence level. We will go through the roof. 26. Day 24: Get Confident To Smile (+ Exercise): How can you get the confidence to smile? So if you look at confident people, they know that they have this powerful weapon that is smiling. And when someone smiles, it conveys that are more open, there are more friendly. They have better qualities as someone that doesn't smile. And now it's important if you want to become a confident when you smile that first you become at ease with that. So what I encourage you to do is that you go in front of the mirror and you look at yourself and your spine. And it's about accepting the smile that you have in finding a great smile. So first you can go in front of the mirror and say, Oh, I don't like my teeth, I don't like that. Maybe you could improve it. For example, if you don't like your teeth, your teeth, you can go to a dentist and they can fix it or they can make it more white like try to find things so that you accept the smile that you have. Because it's about being comfortable with the smile that you have. And even if you don't like, for example, smiling like that, you could just smile a little bit. Because it's better to have someone in a social interaction that's miles rather than, than. So having a small smile is okay. It's not about being comfortable. And if you go in front of that mirror and you smile, you will become comfortable with the smile that you have so that you can use it in social interactions. Now there are two ways to smile. There is the way that is not really attractive and that most low confident people use. And the way that is more attractive, and it's how confident people smile. The first way. It's about smiling, to make an impression. Smiling to get validation from people smiling because they want to get something from the person. You can think about, the sales man that wants to sell a car. She will laugh at your jokes. He will be laughing at everything that you say because they want to get something from you. In that case, it's morning. It's the same thing here. When you smile because you want to get the validation, the, the, you want to make an impression, you want the other person to like you. You are smiling because you want to make an impression. And maybe that happened to you. You were talking to someone and the person was always smiling to make an impression like you, you knew that the person was smiling because you felt they wanted something from you. It could be validation. It can be want to be like that you felt there was something they wanted from you. And I'm sure that you felt that was not that attractive. And most people who are low confidence, they don't smile because they want to smile. The smile because they want the, they want something from the other person. They want the validation of the other person. So the right way to smile, or I would say, how confident people smile the smile because they want to smile. The smile because it's an expression of who they are. The smile because they want to share positivity. The smile because they want to laugh. They smile because they want to share their inner smile, like the positivity that they have with other people. And we can see here, one is the impression. We want to make an impression. We want other people to like us. We want other people, we want other people's validation. And the other one is 0. It comes from here, from the inside to the outside. And it's an expression mode. I express myself, I expressed when I want to laugh. So you can see here the impression mode is 0. It goes from, from the outward to the inner world. And the expression is okay, it comes from the inside to the outside. So your mission today is when you are interacting with people and when you are smiling. Think I you impressing, are you in the next impression mode? It means that you are trying to make an impression to get something from the person, to get validation from the person. Or you smiley because you want to express yourself, to express your joy, your passion, your positive emotion. If you think about that and you become aware of that when you're talking to people, you will become more attractive socially. And first, what can happen is that you will be aware that you are doing too much of the impression and then he would smile less often. That's okay. Because you're in the process of having a smile that you are that is in an expression mode. And that can happen that you smile a little bit less for a certain time. And then say, Oh, but I want to smile again. But now you want to smile because you want to smile. It's not because you want to make an impression. And sometimes the end I will say most of the time, confident people, they smile as much as other people. It just that it comes from another place. It's not from a place of making an impression, but just from a place of expression. So your challenge is today to go in front of the mirror, be at ease with your smile. And when you interact with people, ask yourself, is it an expression mode or impression mode? If it's an impression mode, you just say, oh, I'm going to smile a little bit less and let it expressed through me and less let the smile and positivity express through me rather than trying to get the validation. Also, a great thing to do is to observe people around you. Are there smiling because they want to smile. It's an expression? Or are they smiling because they want to get validation from other people? And then you can get a sense of the right way to smile. You will see to really take your life to the next level. 27. Day 25: Get Confidence To Maintain Eye Contact (+ Exercise) 1: How can you get more confidence to maintain eye contact? So this one here is really huge because you can see if the money is confident or not. If you look at the way that they look at you, and I want to show you here that there are ways that you can use to treat the other person into thinking that you are looking at them in the eyes. If you are not that confident and if you are confident, I want to show you like the right way to look at people so that they can perceive that you are really there with them and that you are really confident. So looking into the other person's eyes is really important because it conveys confidence. It can convey your emotions, can connect with the person. I'm sure that you have already been in a situation where you were talking to someone and the person was not looking at you, and maybe you thought that the person didn't care, didn't like you, or was bored. So there were not great associations to that. But now, what can you do if you are shy and you want to be more confident that maintaining eye contact. There are some people who say a, you can look here. But what happens is that you will be looking at their forehead and it's weird. Instead, use an advice that my girlfriend gave me. And when she gave me this advice, I said, No way it works. I'm going to tell the difference. And she said No, no, no, you can't. So the advice is about looking at the eyebrows instead of the ice. And we did this exercise with my girlfriend. We did it five times and she didn't tell me if she was looking at my, into my eyes or at my arrows. And I couldn't tell the difference. When I said, Oh, you're looking at my and my eyebrows, she was looking at my eyes. So I was not able to tell the difference. So this is an amazing tip. When you are talking to people and you're a little bit shy, you want to be more confident. You look at the eyebrows instead of the eyes. So this is great. But then you should assume evolve into being comfortable talking to people and looking directly into the eyes. So if you evolve and you are comfortable and you want to look them to the ice, what can you do when someone talks to you? You just look at them. You look at their eyes. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become and never break down the contact down. It means that if you are looking at them and then you never look down, because it shows that the other person dominates U. It means that the person is more important in the relationship or the person has more power. You don't want to be in that mode when you are talking to people, you don't want to do that because it shows that the person is more dominant than you. So you don't want to do it. You can break the eye contact to the right or to the left. It means that you are looking at them. You are shy, but you are looking at them in the eyes. And then you can break the eye, contact it a bit to the left, to the right. And then you look back at them. Never look down and never look up. It goes up. It means that you think that you're better than them so you can do it, okay? When the person talks, you look at them. Don't look with a creepy phase, just relaxed phase. We look at them. Now when you talk, tried to look into the other person's eyes. And you will see it's natural that when you are thinking about what to say, your eyes go into different directions. I'm not talking to you and never looking around. I'm just talking. I'm not doing that. I'm not, you know, when I talk, I go by IS go into different directions. It's natural because I'm accessing different information and my eyes have to go in different directions just to access this information. So it's not sure, but most of the time I will be looking directly at you and sometimes there'll be looking away just to access the information then back looking at you. So it's important that when the person talks, most of the time you look at them, if you can, all the time. You look at them when they talk. And if they feel that the person is actually a little bit uncomfortable or that you're a little bit uncomfortable. You break the eye contact to the right or to the left. And when you are talking, then most of the time tried to look into the other person's eyes and let your eyes go where they want to go, but try to maintain eye contact. And your mission for today is about calling a friend and say, Hey, Hey friend, do you want to meet me today so we can practice eye contact? Say omega, like What are you talking about? And then you explain, hey, I would like just to try maintaining eye contact. I worked I would like to try the eyebrow eyebrows exercise with you and just be more comfortable with the eye contact. If it's a great friend, he will say yes. That's exactly how I started. I called a friend that I met this friend in a park and we practice eye contact. But then I was able to really maintain Jeep eye contact and be more at ease with that because my friend was giving me feedback saying, Hey, this is weird here, but this is not weird. This is weird. It's not feel I feel comfortable. I don't feel comfortable. Look at my eyebrows, don't look like. And then you can practice with the other person. Practice with someone who is at the same level of confidence at you. And they say, hey, let's practice eye contact. It, it will help us. You can do it, you will see you'll become a big success. 28. Day 26: Become Comfortable In Social Situations (+ Exercise): How can you become more comfortable in social interactions? So I would like to share with you here five tips. The first one is breathe deeply. I've already talked about that, but it's so important when you're talking to people that when you are stressed, you will brief the wrong way you want, give the oxygen that your brain needs in order to function properly. So low confident people, they won't have great amounts of oxygen in their brain. So that's why you have to come down. And by counting down, you will just breathe deeply. We'll just take control of how your brief. And by taking control of hybrid, you will be able to be more at ease. If you think about the Navy Seals when they are in near-death experiences, they are able to be calm and comfortable. And one of the ways that they do it is that they take control of how the breadth. Because if you think about that when you are stressed, how do you breathe? You don't breathe very well. And when you are calm and relaxed, you breathe deeply. So what you want to do is before going to a place you breathe deeply 3 times when you are talking to people. Take time With put oxygen in your body with deeply enabled the nose and exhale by the mouth. Or if you are talking to people just inhaled by the nose, exhale by the nose and with deeply and it will come down. Eerie calm yourself. You can see here by just doing a few times, I'm already more relaxed. I feel more calm and more relaxed. Number two, people are not perfect. People think that they have to find the perfect for that do have to be perfect in order to interact with people. And perfection doesn't exist. If you think about What's perfection, like other humans who are perfect. Now, robots, they are perfect. But humans, they are perfectly imperfect. It means that they don't have to do things perfectly to be liked. They don't have to be perfect version of themselves. Perfect and nothing best version, the perfect version and the perfect words, perfect sentences, they don't exist. People think that they exist, but they don't exist. The more confidence you develop in yourself, and the more you understand that you are relating from one human being to another human being and that people are not perfect. You don't need to be perfect. Maybe some people told you, maybe your parents, you education told you that you have to be perfect, but it doesn't exist. You are living up to standards that don't exist, that you can never meet the standards of oh my God, I'm going to be perfect. Instead, tried to be the best version of yourself when you're in a social interaction. Don't tell yourself, oh, I have to be perfect. Just say how I'm going to express the best version of myself and see what happens. Some people will like me and other people want. But that's how it is. Work on getting the best version that you can for yourself, rather than trying to get the perfect version because the perfection doesn't exist and it's going to give you a stress that you don't need in social interaction. Do you best? Do your best and then you learn, you improve next time. But do your best, work on developing the best version that you can for yourself. Number three, feel the rhythm of the social place. If you arrive in a place where everyone just arrived, you will sense the tension like everyone will be a little bit tensed. And what you can do that you just sense the reasons help everyone is tensed. I'm also tense like you just take time to relax. Maybe you can have a few drinks, you can talk to friends. You can just approach a few people just to have fun. Can just say hi to some people. You can call a friend like. You must respect the reason of the environment. And by just being aware of the rhythm, you say, Oh, people are stressed, people are people who just arrived. Just have to open up and be more comfortable. It allows your, so it gives you time just to relax and say, Oh, I don't have to be like at my best right now, I could just relax. And it's by understanding that, oh, you can just relax, that you relax yourself and you become more comfortable. So be aware of, of the reason that the wisdom of the commerce, of the social place. And even if you arrive at a place where everyone is outgoing and you are still shy because it just arrived. Give yourself some time and just to, to relax and to put yourself in the rhythm so that you can join the other people. Talk to friends, approach. Some people get used to the social place. Just take time to relax. The time is your ally. When you want to become comfortable in a new place, time is your ally is really, really important. So take time to relax and other great advice. It's too warm up socially. It means that if you work for ten hours on a computer, you talk to no one and then you go to a networking event. You are going to be stressed because you haven't talked to people during the day. What you should do is warm up socially. The more you can interact with people during the day, the more social and the less stress you will experience. So something that you can do is that you make a habit of saying hi to people during the day of interacting with people. And the great advice that I have here is that before you go to a place, you call a friend. Because by calling a friend, you will be in a talkative mood. It means that you will warm up socially. And the more you talk to people, the more comfortable you will be in that new situation because you'd have already talked to so many people during the day and you'd have showed proof to your brain that you are already able to talk to many people throughout the day. So the more you talk to people throughout the day, the more comfortable you will be when you really need to be comfortable in that situation. And then don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just go there, talk to people. Maybe if you really want to talk to that person, don't start with them, start with other people so that you can really warm up. And the more people you talk to, the more comfortable you will become. Because you'll have showed you brain that it's safe to approach in that environment. And it's been ingrained in our brain from 1000 and thousands of years ago when we wanted to approach new tribes. And we are afraid that we could get killed, that we didn't know what could happen. And it's the same thing here when we are new social places, we want to take just time to just relax and to warm up, to talk to some people and to show proof to our brain that it's safe to approach in that environment. And if you do that, it will really decrease your level of stress. And other great advice is to picture yourself confident and comfortable. Because whatever you picture yourself in your mind, whatever you visualize in your mind, will impact the way that you will behave. So if you visualize yourself all stressed and not confidence, the higher chance that you will behave that way. Instead, you just take a few seconds. You close your eyes and you visualize your best self. You visualize your confidence self. And in a few seconds, you are going to start acting like this confidence self because it's a blueprints that you gave your brain on how to act. So try that and that's your challenge for today. I want you to close your eyes into picture your best self, confidence self, and then you start acting that way. The more you do it, the more confidence you will become. 29. Day 27: Make People Like You (+ Exercise): How to make people like you. So the first thing is about not trying too much, because if you lack confidence, maybe you are trying to overcompensate by being too nice and really making everything you can to make the other person likes you and adapting who you are too much to make the other person like you. And the more confidence you will become, the less you will try to make an impression on the other person, the more you will be like expressing yourself like, the more you'll have optimized your 50 percent, the more you will have a better communication. It means that the way you will communicate will be charismatic. And people will like you for the way that you are expressing yourself and for who you are what, and then you adjust expressing yourself because you want to be liked. So it's something that is really invisible. But how I could, I could show that to you is that when you are talking to people, are you trying to do too much to be liked? Or you just being yourself and trying to express a little bit more of who you are because you want to express yourself rather than than trying to make an impression. So low, confident people that tried to do too much to be liked. And instead, I want you to develop your own sets of confidence and communication so that the more you train yourself to do that, the more you are able to express yourself and be liked. But you liked because you express yourself, not because you are trying to make an impression and trying to micromanage what other people think of you. Another great way to be liked. So we discussed about you express yourself rather than trying to do too much to be liked. Another great way is to ask positive questions. It means that if you ask questions about people's passions, their interests, what they like to do for fun, about a project that they had been working on lately. And that made them proud. If you ask this positive questions there, people will experience positive emotions because everyone likes talking about the passions, things I like to do, things that makes them feel proud. And if you talk about these kind of things, people are going to experience this kind of emotions in their body. And they're going to associate these positive emotions to you. It's so powerful. So my challenge to you today is about finding some questions that you could talk about their passions, their interests, what they like to do when I have free time about their vacation, about the project I've been working on lately. And there are really proud and you ask these questions in the interactions and you will see that people will react positively towards you because everyone likes talking about these things. If you talk about that and you see that the person doesn't, is not really positive and doesn't really like it. Talk about something else, find another positive question. And you will see the more you get used to asking this positive questions, the more people will like you, and the more you will be in a confidence state that people like you when you interact with them. So this is, we're really, really powerful here. 30. Day 28: Confidence With Your Colleagues: How can you increase your confidence with your colleagues? So you can use all the tools that we have talked about in this course here to be more confident at work. But more specifically, what I would like to discuss is that when you are talking with your colleagues, it's important that you don't undervalue yourself. It's important that you are aware of the value that you have and that you understand that if you've got that job, it's because someone thinks that you are, that you are worth it. It's important that you also remind yourself of the value that you have while you are great at that, why you have this position? So it's great to take a piece of paper and to think about, okay, what makes me create a disposition? And to remind yourself of the value that you have. Because if you remind yourself of why do we have this job and we're not thinking about the fact that or maybe I'm a fraud. Maybe other people are bad and amino know, we're just reminding ourselves of the value that we have. Because then when you will be interacting with your colleagues, it's important that you remind yourself of this value. And if you are talking to people, you are not comparing yourself with dancing. Oh my God, dispensed and has the better diploma dispersion, does that better than me? No, no, we are not comparing yourself with other people and looking for the things that you lack in yourself. You are talking to people and you're saying, Okay, this is what I have, great, this is what I can do well, and you walk through the company by, by knowing that there are things that you can do well, there are things that you can do great though. These are your design, your strengths. So you know your value. You're not focusing. And most low confident people that will be focusing on everything their colleagues has. But there will be focusing on everything that the colleagues has and they will forget that they already have true value inside them. So when you are talking to someone, to one of your colleagues for example, and they tried to put you down. You can just say, Okay, this person is trying to put me numbered. Let's take a few seconds here to just analyze the value that I have. This person says that I did I did read a bad job. Is it true that I did a bad job? Are okay. Maybe I did a bad job. But it, it happened once and this is what I'm going to do to improve it when you know the value that you have and that you are able to do things properly and you are able to do things well. You will communicate in a different way. So when you do things at work, always ask yourself this question, why did they do well, what can I do better next time? And you get the feedback from people. And now you be careful if people are just trying to put you down or people are giving you genuine feedback. If people are trying to push it down, you just remind yourself of the value that you have. And you also know that some people will try to put you down. But if, if people are giving you genuine feedback, you just say, oh, okay, this is great feedback. And you always ask yourself this question, what did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? Okay, I made this mistake here. What I did well, was I wrote I wrote the report, I did that, I did that, I did that. And now what I can do better the next time is maybe not forget to give it to my superior automatically. You're always thinking about that. And that's why I really want you to think about the value that you have, because you change the perception that you have about yourself, the value that you have, as in the position that you have, and you change the way you communicate to people. And you understand that people are not better than you. They are just different people. And you have to be aware of the value that you have. That's why 3D, I'm hammering that heat into your brain. Think about what makes you create that role. Why do you have valuing this company? What makes you great? What are the things that you did well in this company? What are the things that you could improve in this company with the things that you have done and you build your confidence that way. And don't be afraid to talk to other people with more confidence. You use all the tools that we have discussed here, the posture, the voice, everything, and you talk to other people and people will start reacting differently towards you. If you start becoming more confident, some people will react well, and some people will find it a little bit weird and I will try to test you. That's why it's important that you stay confident that, that you, that you continue evolving in a more confident self. Because then people will accept who you are and they will react better towards you. 31. Day 29: Confidence To Talk To Higher Management: How can you talk to higher management and be more confident when you are talking to people who have a high position in your company. First thing, it's important to be prepared and go to the point, these people, they don't have a lot of time. So if you arrive and you're not prepared and you don't get to the point. These are the action points and you don't really talk about what's really important. People are just going to shut you down. Literally. They are going to say, Oh, I don't have time for that. I have you have you have to come back next time. But if you are right, you are prepared and you go to the point, you're going to have more success talking to higher management and you are going to be able to build your confidence easier. I will say just to be easier for you to build your confidence. And other great advice is talk about the results, not the process. They want to know what are the results for them, for their company? What are the things that they should do? Not okay, what are the methods? Who you talk to? They don't want to know that they want to know who they are. They want to know what are the results, what are the action points that they can take from that? Another thing that is really important when you talk to them. You're not going to talk about the past. Saying, okay, In the past we failed. We did that in the past we face we did that mean the No, they don't want to know about the past. They want to know about the future. They want to know about the precise points that they can take an act on based on the information that you have given. So you go, you talk to them, you are precise, you are clear. When you talk to them. You activate your confidence, your energy of confidence. Use all the advice we have seen here in this course. And you understand that they want to have actionable points, actionable points, things that can act on in the future. It means that what are the thing that they can do with the information that you have and that they can act on. Also, something else that you can do is that before talking to higher management, you breathe deeply and you imagine it going well. You visualize it in your head that you are talking to the higher management that are liking your idea though. They are enjoying the conversation. Because if you picture that in your mind, you will have more confidence when you are talking to them. And the higher chance that they will accept your ideas, they will accept what you, what you have to share with them. Also, it's important to understand that, okay, maybe they have a higher position than yours. But there are still human beings. So when you're talking to a CEO of a company, you also talking to a human. And it comes back to having a conversation between two human beings. If you always think, oh my God, I'm going to talk with the boss. Yes. Do I think that you must be careful of not saying things that you should say, but you must understand that you are relating to another human being. So dispersion that is wearing the suit and that impresses you, can also go to the bathroom. There are human beings and by taking, by respecting the position that they have, but by just understanding the o, the human being, you can relate to another human being and then it decreases your stress level. And you can become a confident because you say, Oh, I'm just talking to another human being. It's not to this person in the suit is just 0. And other human being, you respect them. You go to the point you talk about the results, not the process. You talk about the future. And if you do that, you will become a big success. The more you practice, the better you get at it when you do it. Two questions. What did I do? Well, what can I improve next time? And you build your confidence that way. 32. Day 30: Deal With Conflicts: How can you deal with conflicts? So it's something that most people struggle with. And I would like to discuss here my five keys, my five advice to improve your conflict resolution skills. So the first thing is about really understanding the situation. Because what most people would do is that they will have something that is not right. And then they will approach the person and say, Hey, why isn't the thing right here? And they would start attacking the other person and we start creating the conflict with the other person. And they haven't taken time to just understand the situation. Let's say that, for example, you expect your, you expect your coworker to write a report and give it to you by six PM. Now it's expiate PM and the report is not there. Instead of going and talking to the person and starts yelling at them. You could just ask them. They could ask them, for example, what happened. Could you explain a little bit more about why did this report is not here at why this report was not here at 06:00 PM. And maybe the president can say, oh, it's because I wanted to have a second opinion with my other colleague here because it's really important and I know that you are seeing this client tomorrow, and I really wanted to make sure that you get the best information that report. And if you don't ask this question here to learn more about the situation, you could start attacking the other person, yelling at the other person without understanding what was going on. Maybe the person had a reason. So maybe the person for lots. And now you can just tell them that they shouldn't do that again in the future. But most of the time, you have to understand what's going on because sometimes we misinterpret the communication or we misinterpret what the person wants. Because what happened to me many years ago is that someone told me to do something, interpreted it another way. And then we had a had a conflict with this person because as an aim it, this is not what you told me and so on. And the technique that I found is that when someone asks you to do something, you just repeat it. For example, if someone tells you to do something and say, Oh, just to be sure what you want me to do, is that that that that that so that the person say yes or no and the person can give you more information so that you don't have this problem of misunderstanding. And it's better if you really understand the situation about why it happened before started, starting creating the conflict with the person. Understand why it happens, then deal with that. But the first step here is about understanding why it happens. And it can also repeat what the person asks you to do so that you are sure that you understood what you have to do, what you have to do, and what this person truly wants number to be careful about your emotions when you are dealing with conflicts. Sometimes people can do something that will make you feel angry, upset, negative emotions, and you may say things or do things that you will regret later. Why is that? Because you are not in a great mood. I'm sure it already happened to you. Someone sent you an email and then immediately it made you feel upset and then you started replying back and Regretted it later. So when you have when you're having a conflict with someone and you're not feeling well, or for example, you are feeling upset or you're in a negative mood and someone comes that you can just say, hey, listen, I would like to take a few minutes to think about that or just take a few minutes to come down. I'll be back in five minutes. You can extract yourself from the conflicts of don't do it because you want to run away from the conflict. But if you need some time just to come down, tell the other person that you need some time to come down, and then you come back and you are in a better mood and you have stronger emotions rather than feeling angry and upset. So it's important that you take your emotion into account and when someone sends you an email and that makes you feel angry, upset, you don't need to reply What away? Go out for a walk, come down and then come back and reply to that person or reply the day after, which is even better. Number 3, your focus should be on finding a solution, not winning an argument. When you're having a conflict with someone, your goal is not to prove the other person wrong. It's about finding a solution, is about finding a common ground. So instead of having the focus of all, I want to win the argument, say, Oh, we have to find the solution here to deal with the conflict. And say, Okay, this is your situation, this is my situation. What's the solution? How can we find a solution? How can we find a solution to that conflict rather than 0, you around you, around your own. We want to find a solution. Another great way is about using social empathy. It means that you are going to tell the other person that you understand their point of view. I understand that you are tired when you did that. I understand that you didn't sleep well at home because of the kids. I understand that you did your best. Basically, you just show that you understand the other person's point of view and when dealing with conflict is really powerful to use social empathy because then the person will feel that you are listening and that you understand point of view. And then you can move from, okay, I understand your point of view to finding a solution. So use social empathy. Basically you just say, I understand that. And then you state what's happening like you state the situation of the person. And number 5, with all these tools, don't be afraid to deal with conflicts. People who have low confidence, they will try to avoid the conflicts because they say, Oh, I'm not comfortable with conflicts are people can reject me. And you have to understand that people don't reject you. The rejects a behavior to reject something that you have done, but they don't reject your self-worth when you're having a conflict with someone. Sometimes it's great because then you can talk about it and you can improve, it can make it better. But if you never talk with them and you never argue with someone, you may never have a conflict with someone. Isn't that you accepting too much and you accepting too much, you're adapting to much of what you want, of the things that you want to do and you don't want to do just because you don't want to have a conflict with someone. So be at ease that don't look for calm. Don't don't start fights with people around you. But I would say be at ease if it happens. Use social empathy. Try to understand the situation. You can repeat what the person said to just understand if it was really the person wanted you to do. You can use all the tools that have described here in this video here. And slightly you will improve your, I would say, dealing with conflict skills. And always, when you have interacted with the people, you ask yourself two questions. What did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? So your challenge is to think about the conflict you had in the best. And think about, Okay, how could I have applied the five skills to that situation? 33. Day 31: Confidence To Find New Clients: How to have more confidence to find new clients. Tip number 1, you just remind yourself that you were able to successfully find clients in the past. For example, you are, you have a new business, you are in a company, and you have to go out find new clients and you're not that confident. You can just remind yourself of all the clients that you have already found. For example, in my case, when I started creating online courses, I was not that confident that at creating online courses and finding new clients who could get my online courses. So what I did is that I went on the websites where I was selling the courses. And I don't know all the five-star reviews, all the great reviews. And I had I think like 25 pages of people loving my work. And I was just reading that, say, Hey, I did something well actually, I already got some clients who loved my work and it gave me the confidence. So when you have to find new clients, think about all the clients who already like you. Maybe read the list, but just remind yourself that you are already able to successfully get clients. And now it shouldn't be any different number to understand the value that you have to offer to your clients. It's all about, oh, I want to improve the other person's life. I want to improve my client's life with my product and service rather than 0, I'm just trying to take their money. So when you call a new client and you want to be confident, you must know in your brain all the benefits that your product and your service will have on the other person's life. It means that you know that by calling this person and trying to get them as your clients, their life will be improved because they will have this time management software, because they will have less back pain. Whatever you sell, you must understand that actually is you're not taking value from them. You're making them a favor by calling them because you trust your product. And it's all about understanding and selling thumped something that you believe in. Because if you know that what you sell will truly help the other person's life, it's your duty to call them and to to show them that there is a way to solve the issue that they have. And it's by buying your product or service that will improve their life. If you understand that, you will be more confident, It's not about taking the money, it's about helping them. And if you go from 0, I'm going to give value to the other person. You will go from another mentality of, Oh, I am low confidence and just taking value from people to 0. Actually, my product and service can help the other person's life. Number three, be okay with rejection. If they reject, they don't reject. You, reject your product or your service. It's your company. They're not rejecting you as a human being. The not rejecting your self-worth. They are not rejecting who you are. They're just rejecting the offer. It's an offer, a product or service that you want to give to them. So if you think about that, you're not putting yourself out there. You are selling a brand, you are selling a product or service. When I started, in my case, I struggled with the negative comments. And then I understood that the negative comments were not aimed towards me. There were aimed towards my brand. And when I understood that okay, it was my product and services that got the commands, not me. I was able to free myself from that from that rejection. So that's my advice here. If you want to get new clients, remember the nuke the clients that you already got successfully. You think about the value that you can give your new clients and also you become okay with rejection because they are rejecting your product or services. They're not rejecting you. 34. Day 32: Be More Assertive: How can you become assertive? So the more confident you become, the more assertive you become. So how can you have more assertiveness? First, it's about understanding that you have power in your own hands. If your boss comes and tells you to do something, you think that you don't have the choice. But in a communication between two people, you own 50 percent of an interaction and the other person owns their 50 percent. It means that when they will ask you to do something, you think you don't have the choice, but you could always say yes or no when someone gives you an opinion and advice, shares a problem. When Thurman compliments you when someone insults you, you can always decide how you want to deal with that. Do you want to say yes, No way. What do you want to do with that? And the power is in your own hands. When you understand that actually the powers in my own hands, then it becomes what are the things that you want to say yes to? What are the things that you want to say no to? And what are the things that you want to express. So by saying no to things, you are really thinking about the things that are important to you. What are your roles, your responsibilities? What are the things that you have to do in your life to accomplish your goals? If a coworker asks you to do something, is it good for you to say no, or is it better for you to say yes? What are the advantages of say no and the advantages of thing of saying yes, you should rethink about the things that are important to you. What are your roles, your responsibilities? What are the things that you have to do? And when you understand that, you will have your own power to decide, you can become more assertive because then you can say, Yes, I can help you. No, I'm not going to help you. And don't be afraid to say no to people. You're not rejecting the person. You are rejecting the requests that do are making, which is really, really different. And also, if you want to express yourself more freely, understand that you are stating your preferences. You are not trying to put the other person's down or showing the other person is wrong. You're just stating your preferences that you write. You can say, this is my idea, I understand what you said. This is my idea. This is what this is what I think about that. And they're just stating what you want and you do that in a confident way. How with the voice we discussed with the posture, with the motion of confidence. And you must understand that you have the 50 percent that you can share with other people. So here it's about giving yourself permission to be more assertive. So my challenge to you is about interacting with a friend and being a little bit more assertive. It can be either by saying no, by saying yes, by stating your opinion, by sharing something that you want to share, by speaking up, by telling something, by being a little bit more assertive, start with a friend and then you will become confident because it will be reinforcing it positively, the more you do it with the questions, what did they do? Well, what can I do better next time, you reinforce your assertiveness kilos, and then you develop the skills that you need, the confidence that you need to become a such a potato. It all start here with give yourself permission. And don't forget that you have your 50 percent that you can take control off by saying yes, no, by stating what you want, by sharing your opinions, sharing advice, and then the other person has their 50 percent to say yes or no to your requests and to your 50 percent. So don't forget that the person has their 50 percent, you have yours and the powers are the power is in your hand if you decide to use it. 35. Day 33: Confidence In Public Speaking: How can you be more confident at public speaking? So I would like to share with you here my best advice. The first thing is that you must understand that the crowd is here for you and we're here to learn from you. So it's important that you picture in your mind that the crowd came to learn from you. The crowd wants to learn from you. Too crowded lights you. If you have this positive anticipation, the way you will speak, your confidence level will be higher than just saying, Oh my God, what, what do I have to share with them? Oh my God. They already know everything. Know if they are here. It's because they want to learn. They want to learn from me, the like me. And it's all about visualization. It's about you visualize it in your mind before giving the presentation. When I give my conferences all around the world, I always do that. I closed my eyes before entering the stage. And I just say, Oh, people are here for me, people are here for me. And I think about our people want to learn from me. And I think about that. I think about the value that I can give them, which is really powerful. So next time you afraid thing that the people that are here, there are, there, are, there are here for you. They want to learn from you. And other great advice is that you imagine that the whole crowd is actually just one person that you love. So instead of saying one hundred, ten hundred people, 20 people, five people, you just imagine that this whole crowd is actually just one person, person that you love. And when you talk, you don't talk to the whole crowd. You just talk to one person that you love. And the way that you will communicate will be in a more confident way. So try that to imagine that it's, the crowd is only one person that you love and the person is there for you actually. So when you're going to be giving the presentation, it would be the person that you love, that it's there. It's not about tricking your brain into unleashing its potential. Also something that is really important when you're giving your presentation. Your goal is not to look for the person that doesn't like you. Because I know that most people are giving the presentation and they'll say, Oh, everyone is like except this person here, they're on their phone. They are looking weirdly and you don't want to focus on that. You want to focus on the people who like you. There will be people who want like your presentation. That's normal, that's life. Not everyone can like you, but don't focus on that. And I've also heard that there are some people who are paid by competitors to go in and sit in the front row and look really bored and capture the attention of the speaker. And then at the beginning they are all excited. And then after five minutes to our board and say, just to make the speaker doubt. So it's important that you just focus any imagine that it's one person that you love, that the audience is one person that you love. And you look for the people who are like him, you. It's better to focus on one person that is liking you rather than than some people who are on the phone or not liking you. That's normal, that's going to happen, but focus on the people that are here for you and that you can help be prepared and repeat the first 510 minutes that have to be on point. When you will enter the stage. Your stress level will be high. Then the, then during the presentation, your stress will go down. So it's important that when you enter stage, you prepare the first five to ten minutes that you know them by heart. You know what you're going to say. So that you can take time to just decrease your stress level. Because if you arrive and you improvise for the first five, 10 minutes, it will be more difficult because the stress level will be high. But if you arrive, you have prepared and you know what you're going to say in the first five to ten minutes, you'll be more confident because then you can improvise later in the presentation. So it's important that you prepare well, prepare home. You say the whole presentation out loud. You record yourself. You can even give the presentation to your friends or to your family members so that you can just give you feedback. It's important the more preparation you have, the less you will be stressed because you say, Oh, I prepared and you prepare the first 510 minutes and they have to be on point. It means that you must learn by heart and know exactly what to say during these first 510 minutes, let go of the things that you cannot control. You can control if people are going to like you, you can only control to give the best presentation that you can. So when I go on stage, I'm not focusing on having people liking me. That's not something I can control. I control on serving people the best I can. Because that's something that is in my power, being the best version that I can, expressing myself, giving the best advice that I can. And then people can decide if they want to follow my advice or not. But my communication is on point. It means that I'm preparing the presentation so that it helps the life. But I cannot control if they're going to like it or not. I can, yes, I can put in there the best information, social empathy, like everything in my presentation. But then at the end, I only control my presentation. I don't control how they are going to react. I'm going to make things happen in my presentations that there are higher chances of people liking the presentation, but I don't control it. So the criteria for success is, have I given the best presentation that I could not? Did people like my presentation? Yes, I'm going to get feedback after my presentation if people liked it, but that's not what I focus on when I entered the stage. I focused on giving my best and helping other people's life if they choose to. What I'm focused on giving my best because that's something I can control. I don't control how people will perceive me. And if you let go of the things that you cannot control it, your confidence will be back, because you will be focusing on the things that you have control over. Another great tip is, before you go on stage, you use all the advice that I have given here. What I do is that I put myself in a great mood by just adopting the Superman posture. I act as if I were confident. I activate my great emotions by focusing on the positive memory where I was like happy and confidence. So I feel these emotions in my body and I will be focusing on the fact that their life will be improved after my presentation. So I will say, I will think about, oh, all the advice that people will, will take home and how their life will improve. For example, if I give a conference on social skills, I would imagine myself like the audience that will come, then they will go home. They will have better relationship with their family, their friends, the spouse, the husband. There will be maybe get arrays. I will visualize all the results that my audience can get from my advice. And that will fuel new, fuel me and it won't be about me, little island afraid on stages about serving other people and transforming the life. And again, I cannot control if they take my advice, but can, I can do my best to share the best advice available and see if they like it. But I will be focusing on the fact that hey, I can show it from the life and this is the impact that I can have because then the presentation is not about me, it's about serving other people and it's bigger than just little Allen afraid on state. So my challenge to you is to apply some of the advice that I have given here, like these are here. The advice that you need to be better at public speaking. So select one or two. You give a presentation and you apply them. And you always reinforced positively, what did I do? Well, what can I do better next time? And you will become a big success. 36. Day 34: Congratulations: So thank you so much for watching this course. I really enjoyed sharing these powerful advice with you, and I really hope that it helped you. So if you got some great information from that, and I really hope he did, You can really reflect on how can you apply that to your own life. Because confidence is a process that you build over time. I've shared with you some hacks to boost your confidence instantly. And also at the same time, you know, you should approach people. You should do what you want and ask yourself two questions here. What did they do? Well, what can I do better next time and reinforce them positively? Like the confidence is a process. So what I encourage you to do is to act on the information that you have now. And then in a few days, in a few weeks you come back, you watch again the, the online training and you're going to perceive new things. Take new nodes on how you can apply that to your own life. And you will see you will become a big success because confidence has been figured out. The steps that I'm giving you here. You apply them, you become confident, you boost your self-esteem, self-worth, and so on. It's just about applying them and having the courage to try new things. Having the courage to see the glass half full instead of half empty. Having the courage to remind yourself of how awesome you are. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to post them in the discussion boards somewhere around here. And I will be honored to answer your questions. Maybe you can take a little time, but I tried to answer all of them and I do my best to answer because I have so many questions, but I do my best to answer you personally. So that wasn't really an honor to have you here. And I wish you all the success that you deserve socially and with your confidence at work, like with your goals, like I wish you all the best. See you next time.