Motivation - Motivating Yourself & Others - POWERFUL! | Prof. Paul Cline, Ed.D | Skillshare

Motivation - Motivating Yourself & Others - POWERFUL!

Prof. Paul Cline, Ed.D, Prof Paul - Business & Psychology Expert

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10 Lessons (2h 35m)
    • 1. Promo / Intro Video

      6:36
    • 2. Goals & What is Motivation?

      6:04
    • 3. The SOURCE of All Motivation

      1:53
    • 4. "Virtual Reality" & Programming

      16:04
    • 5. Other Factors

      28:10
    • 6. What Creates Change - Part 1

      16:48
    • 7. What Creates Change - Part 2

      22:45
    • 8. What Creates Change - Part 3

      28:57
    • 9. How Can We Influence Others?

      11:49
    • 10. BONUS - Focus Management

      15:56

About This Class

MOTIVATION - Gain an Unfair Advantage in Life By Learning How to Motivate Yourself and Others!  Motivation is the MASTER Skill of Success!  Without it ... You will Fail. With It ... You will have Massive Success!  NO FLUFF ... TONS of Specific Skills you can use right away to improve your life and the lives of others!  TRULY Unique Motivation Skills that CAN'T be found anywhere else!

Here are Just a Few of the Things you will Learn:

  • Cutting-edge Motivation Strategies NOT Found anywhere else!
  • The Secrets of Long-Term Motivation on Auto-Pilot
  • How to Build a Motivational Mind-Set
  • How to Destroy Demotivators that have been holding you back!
  • Learn how to Crush False Beliefs and Negative Concepts of Yourself
  • How to Break through the "Glass Ceiling" that is Limiting your Potential
  • How to Motivate OTHERS ... Take Friends and Family to the Next Level!
  • Learn Powerful Tools/Techniques that Create Change!
  • How to Stay Motivated and Energized ...The EASY Way!
  • How to be INFLUENTIAL With Others! Powerful!

Motivation is CRITICAL To Your Success ... Without Motivation .. You can't get the slightest thing done!

Motivation Is the MASTER Skill of Success!

This course is Taught by Prof. Paul ..,. Celebrity Trainer of Top Therapists, CEO's, Business Owners ... and People just like You!

Transcripts

1. Promo / Intro Video: Hi, everybody. Professor Paul here. And welcome to this promotional video on a great new program called Motivating Yourself and others a key skill if ever there was one. Right now you're about to discover one cutting edge motivational strategies you can't find anywhere else to the secrets of how to put your motivation on autopilot. Three. How to build a motivational mindset four. Had destroyed de motivators that have been holding you back. Five. Learn how to crush false beliefs and negative concepts about yourself. Six. Learn how to break through the glass ceiling that's limiting your potential. Seven. Learn how to motivate others. Take friends and family to the next level two. Eight. Learn powerful tools and techniques that can create massive change in your life. Nine. Learn how to stay motivated and energized. The easy way 10. How to be influential with others. This is extremely powerful, and you're gonna find much, much more. Let me ask you a question. How can you win the game of life when you were never taught how to use your mind? Correct Answer is you can't. But don't worry. We're going to share with you the answer exactly how to do this literally, giving you a mini manual for your brain. I want you to know that you can succeed. You just need the right tools, and that's what we're here to share with you. The purpose of this training is to help you excel. I want to give you an unfair advantage in life. How? By gaining skills, almost nobody has. Who am I? And how can I help Minus Professor Paul and I've been on a mission for the last 35 plus years to help people just like you excel in business and in life. Here's a little bit about me. I've got four different agrees all the way through the doctorate in psychology and business . I'm a CEO at Advanced Ideas. I've been a corporate trainer for many years. I've run several multimillion dollar corporations. I've been a psychotherapist. Also been a university professor. When multiple teaching awards, I'm a six figure Internet marketer. You can imagine helping tens of thousands of people every year. You make a pretty good paycheck, right, and I've read over 500 books of psychology, business and health to bring you the best cutting edge techniques. I've done additional 6000 hours of additional training with mentoring and mastermind groups and all kinds of study to bring you the best that's out there. I'm an award winning celebrity educator, coach, therapist and CEO. You can see me here with Kevin Harrington from Shark Tank Dustin Matthews from speaking empire. They train speakers that get up on the stage and teach nationally and internationally. Here's me with Robert Allen from nothing down real estate and multiple streams of income. He's written over 25 different books. I'm also a writer, and I'm a consultant. I'm seeing on multiple news stations in podcast regularly. I have the exact same goal that you do my goals to help you grow and to remove the barriers that have held you back from having a life second to none. I want that for you. And if you follow in practice what I teach you in this training, it will be yours. Imagine being able take massive action like never before and being able to motivate others as well. That would be awesome. These tools are specifically designed to transform your life, not a small change, but it change across all areas. Motivation affects every area of your life. Within this training, be sure to take great notes. Don't lose the gold. The human retention rate is Onley 4%. The's secret techniques have changed literally thousands of lives. I want to make sure that it changes yours. I believe that you deserve an amazing life. My goal, my Onley goal is to help you along that path. Scientific fact. You can't do the slightest thing until first. Motivated Motivation is the master key to success in life. You can't do anything without proper motivation. My training zehr, specifically designed to transform lives over 60,000 satisfied students just this year alone. That can't be rock jump in enjoying all these students that have new tools, strategy and techniques to make every day of their life from here forward better than they ever thought possible. Here's one of my students, Pooja, she says. Wow, a totally unique method of motivation to achieve important goals. I've gone through a few other courses about goals and performance which were ultimately ineffective, but this course is different both in methodology and in practical effectiveness. This course is concise and clear, with a highly energized and easy to listen to instructor. Let me ask you a question. Will you be my next success story? I want you to have the riches of life, health, wealth, great relationships. All starts with motivation. Me? Ask you another question. What separates those who succeed from those who fail? It's very simple skill. They're not better than you. They're not taller. They're not sexier than not better looking. They have mawr skill. And we're gonna teach you the skills today in this training. When you jump in right now, so winners take action. It's the major skill. What are you gonna dio? My suggestion? Go ahead and sign up. Now, I'm excited for you. You have all the tools, strategy techniques you'll ever need to be completely motivated inside this course when you sign up now. So go ahead, sign up now and I'll see you inside the winner's circle. 2. Goals & What is Motivation?: Hi, everybody. Professor Paul Klein here. Welcome today's training, motivating ourselves and others. Today. We got a really exciting training for you. I just want to be a little bit about myself. I call myself Professor Paul because I'm a corporate trainer. I also teach it Are Gacy University. I've run multi $1,000,000 mental health facilities. I've been a clinical director, a unit manager. I've done pretty much every job in therapy. I've been teaching therapy and doing therapy for over two decades. I've got four different degrees in psychology and business. So bachelors, masters, advanced masters all the way through the doctorate and quite a bit of advanced training. Even beyond that, so pretty motivated, right? I forgot more about most motivation than most people have ever learned. So today we're going to try to teach you a little bit of a slice of that. So we've got some great training today. I put my website address down below. If you want to get some additional free tools and training and those types of things and we'll add some resource is to this training for you as well that you can grab at your leisure. Now let's take a look at some of the goals for the training. 1st 1 is to understand what motivation is. So a lot of people think they know what motivation is, but they don't actually, no motivation is, and that's why they can't get motivated. It's almost like most people to understand the game of life. Then they wonder why they're not winning except Charlie Sheen, right? But he's off his meds, so you can't understand how to do something until you understand what it ISS. So we're gonna get a real tight grasp of what that is. And by understanding that better, you'll even be able to come up with techniques for yourself, specific for yourself, tailored for yourself, so that you could motivate yourself. Second, how does virtual reality impact our motivation in our decisions? Strangely, we think we understand the nature of reality almost the way we thought we understood. What motivation Waas. By the time we get done with this, you realize you didn't really understand either. So we're gonna talk about what virtual reality is and how it impacts our motivation are drive in the choices that we make on a daily basis. This is really gonna help you out significantly. Three. How do we choose? People think they know how they choose and they really don't know how they choose. And they say, Oh my gosh, I can't believe I did this I said that we make really bad choices because we're not even aware of the process. So we're gonna figure that piece out four ways we can change ourselves and others. So my big goal of the training is I don't try to just give you a bunch of information. They say information is power. No information is power when you apply it. So this is the application part. I want to make sure that by the time you get done with this training your specific tools, strategies and techniques that could make a noticeable, measurable difference in your life and even be so skilled at it that you can help others start to do it. Because once we understand it for ourselves, then we can go on and we can teach others. It's what I'm doing with you. It's what you can do with family, friends, co workers, people you care about and you want to help them as well. So what is motivation. Glad you asked. Well, let's see what Webster says. A mental force that induces action. Great phrase. But what does it mean? Well, think of it this way. It's something that you due mentally that moves you forward. You take action. Nothing happens until first in action. Remember, I said, knowledge is in power until you apply it well, when you use mental force, it doesn't really do anything until you taken action. So you haven't made a true decision until you've taken action now. Motivation. Let me give you my definition of it. Um, motive comes from the root word. Motivation comes from the word move ear, which literally means to move to drive you forward. That's where the word automobile comes from. Automotive, right? So Motive Latin to move auto to move automatically. Hopefully, we can get you to the point in this training where somebody skills some of these techniques become automatic and your motivation goes on autopilot. That's definitely the hope. So here's another definition. It's a mental strategy. See, this is why people can't get a hit. They don't know what motivation is, and they don't know that it's a strategy. Their specific tools and strategies and techniques that you use. There's a certain way that you put the meaning together of what you want to accomplish. That actually drives you towards it. That may sound a little vague right now, but we're gonna go over in great detail. So motivation is how we put meaning together. This has become very powerful as we move forward in this train. Just remember, it's a mental strategy, and it's how we put meeting together, the way we understand the world and specifically what we're trying to get motivated about and why we want that thing. So motive. Here's a great definition. The why that spurs the action. When you have powerful wise, you take powerful action. So we're gonna look at Why do you want things that you're going towards? Here's another great quote. Want power creates willpower? Remember getting a clear picture of why you want this thing having it in the front of your brain instead of in the back your mind. Crisp, clear, powerful Truell Desire is what creates willpower and keeps it going. Once the desire fades, the willpower fades 3. The SOURCE of All Motivation: So what is the source of all motivation? Drum roll, please. Paying pleasure principle. This is the key principle that drives all action. It's one of the hidden secrets of psychology. It's probably 90% of psychology. Very simple model. We moved towards pain and we move away from I'm sorry we moved towards pleasure and we move away from pain. Sometimes they call it a push pull strategy, were pulled towards pleasure, were attracted to it and were repelled. Were pushed away from pain. So we're constantly moving towards pleasure in away from pain now. Little caveat. It's perceived pleasure or perceived pain. Somebody puts me on a roller coaster. I'm a massive pain. I'm scared. This is painful for me. I would pay good money to get off that right. Other people they love roller coasters. That's means massive pleasure to them. For some people getting spanked as a punishment for other people, they pay extra for that so perceived pleasure and proceed pain. This is why sometimes people will do things that seem counterintuitive because they perceive it is pleasure pain, and you don't perceive it that way, so they'll be acting odd to you. It's not really odd. It's just the way that they put logic together how they perceive it. So remember that great quote here says the secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you. Anthony Robbins. 4. "Virtual Reality" & Programming: next concept. People act based on their BS. Yeah, that's right. Belief system. I call it Bs and kind of humorous way because it reminds you what it iss. A lot of times it's your belief system, but when you truly examine it, you realize it's just B s. A lot of your beliefs aren't actually true, no matter how much you're in love with him. And a lot of other people's beliefs aren't true, no matter how much they're in love with him. I'll bet you know, some people like that. They think they're absolutely, positively right. They have a certain belief system. They believe something there. Sure, they'd rather fight about it. Then switch. And they're absolutely wrong. Everybody has multiple multiple multiple belief systems, and here's the sad thing. Most of them are wrong. Even when you're one of the most intelligent people in the world. Always question your belief systems now. Virtual reality. We said we were gonna talk about the cell of this. Science is reality. Check ahead is what we have to do. We have to check our own reality. We act on perceptions and misperceptions the same way. This means there's no difference between illusion and reality. If I walk up to you and I've got a gun in my hand and I say stick em up, you're gonna stick him up. But if you think I got a water pistol, you think it's a toy, You're probably gonna laugh at me now. If it's not a toy and you start laughing at me, I'm gonna shoot you in. Your whole whole rescue day is gonna go horribly wrong. But because you were so certain because your belief system was I had a toy, you felt fine with laughing at me. If you don't think it's a toy, then you're gonna put your hands up and you're gonna follow all instructions, right? But what if you think it's a gun and it's actually a toy? You're still gonna act the appropriate way to your perception not to reality to your perception of reality. Remember, there's no difference between illusion and reality, not in the human mind. This kind of puts us in a weird place that I call the Twilight Zone. It's where reality and imagination come together. That was the whole theme of the Twilight Zone. You think things are one way and they're actually another. So when you act on bad information, things don't go right. And this can really mess with motivation. I just kind of want you to hold. This is kind of ah, you know, put a pin in it and just be thinking about this concept it'll make more sense is we flesh it out to see exactly how this affects motivation and even your view of the world. So couple of concepts that might not it might initially seem as if they're not true. But they're absolutely, positively true. And I'm gonna try to prove it to your to your satisfaction. So one is that we make our reality up is we go along, uh, through our biases through our skews. What we choose to focus on what we choose not to focus on what we believe. What we don't believe our way of perceiving things, our way of being in the world. We make up our reality, talk more about this later. Now Number two is our reality is just our story, Remember? Just like I said, your bs is your belief systems your story. Your reality is just a story. You have a story about how things go in life. Guess what? Everybody's got a different story. If there's only one true reality, how come everybody sees it differently? How come everyone has a different story? You go into a room and something happens, and then you go through and you check with all the witnesses and you get a different story from everybody. Now they have some common elements, but in a lot of key areas, they're just not the same. How can that be when there's only one reality? And these people may not even think that they're adding a lot of opinion in or any kind of inflection into it? They think I'm just straight up telling you the way it waas and that's we'll tell you, I'll give it to you straight. You could tell, Give it to me straight and still gonna come out different. How different Every single story will be different. Three. It's a it's a personal fiction. Your reality is based on a lot of personal fictions. You have things that you think that air true, that aren't or that you look a certain way when there's literally an infinite number of ways to look at it. Therefore, if there's an infinite number of ways, what's the chance that yours is the one true way? Very, very small infant testimony. Therefore what? It's a fiction. So we're gonna look at how we can play with this concept of reality as we go through this training. So what makes up people's virtual reality? Let's take a look now. The first factor is something called the imprint period. This is a very rarely taught psychological concept, but it's huge. It's hard to find in the psychology books and believe man, I'm a college professor of 12 different teaching awards. It's hard to find, and I've read hundreds and hundreds of books on psychology. Onley run across this two or three times out of hundreds of books. See, even if you've got a master's degree or a doctorate in psychology, chances are you don't even know about this piece. But basically, here's what the imprint period is. Somewhere from the time you're born around the age of 5 to 7, we simply absorb what we're told. We're basically being programmed if you're a young child and you're learning how to speak, and I hold up a banana and I go? Pen, pen, pen. You're gonna go pen and I go, Yeah, we all clap and everybody gets a big hug. We give you a Scooby snack and everybody's thrilled. Did you get it right? No, but because you're a sponge, you simply absorb information. You take everything that's given to you as to be true. He came from Paul to God to me. Okay, In that sequence, it has to be absolute truth. That's how you have absorbed things. You don't go into your questioning phase until you're somewhere between five and seven and older. Now, by the time you're 12 to 14 you question everything so much drive everybody crazy. OK, But prior to that, you just simply are programmed. Now. The next piece that we're gonna look at is who's programming us. A lot of different people are programming us, and they have different agendas. And we get a very warped sense of reality because everybody has a different view and we're just taking in all these views and their this mishmash, none of which we chose. You did not choose to have these programs in your head. They're forced upon you by your parents by your teachers by your friends, by your siblings, by TV, by the government. By society, even things that happen in nature will program you. Things that happened at random. You just take him a certain way, but they could have been taken a dozen different ways. But as soon as you take it a certain way, boom, it becomes locked in, and it's a what? It's a program. Now the challenge with this is other people. It's like the blind leading the blind. These people don't know true reality, either. So they have an agenda, which means they're trying to get their needs met, which may not necessarily help you get your needs met. A matter of fact, it probably won't. So you're getting all these agendas, all these skewed views of reality that are meant to move you in a certain direction to help somebody else. It's not you how messed up is that. That's what the programming is and who's and we talked a little bit about who's programming you. But let's look at all those who those people are. You're being influenced by other kids. Well, these other kids air still pooping themselves. They're you know, zero to fight to seven years old. They're not that smart. You may have somebody smarter like your teacher, but she's divided by 30 kids in a room, and she's only got a bachelor's. Probably your parents. Parents are probably bachelor's level or lower in, like the 95 percentile, so they may not have that much information. And I know people that are masters and doctoral level that don't know the things that I'm teaching you right now. So they're almost has helpless. Is anybody else. You've got TV in the government, they obviously have agendas. And, boy, that has nothing to do with helping you. So we're gonna look at how that can really mess you up. So basically, you're like a computer. Whatever I type in, that's what appears on the screen. There's an old acronym for this. It's called Garbage in Garbage out. You have to watch this for your whole life. When you're a kid, you get any garbage they threw out at you, and that's basically what your program to push back out. Now until you know this, you can't really filter it. Think about it and change it. Hopefully, after this training, you have some awareness, and you will. So also, I want teach you one more skill right here. Just a little bonus. Um, be very careful what you put into your brain. Remember, Garbage in, garbage out. You're watching a bunch of TV entertainment, but essentially garbage. It doesn't really teach you anything. You know, unless you're watching the History Channel or a documentary, it's garbage. Most people spend their time reading like People magazine, keeping up with the Kardashians Reality TV, talking to your friends about shoes and shopping and girlfriends and boyfriends. It's all garbage. Um, pretty soon, if you get enough garbage in, you're full of it. People like to be informed, so they watch the news. They watch something like CNN. You don't. CNN stands for constantly negative news. See and constantly negative news, garbage in garbage out. You're taking in all this negativity. Eventually. That's what's going to be stuck inside you, and eventually that's what's gonna pour back out. Be very careful about your inputs. Put good quality stuff in good quality stuff will come out. That's the gig. Oh, theory. So here's another thing that I want you to know you were born beautiful, innocent and perfect. No such thing as a defective baby. You had total serenity. He didn't have low self esteem. He didn't have anger issues. You weren't fearful to try things. You know, there was no bad history, so we're literally born for success. But then we're programmed for failure. You know, I used to tell my students it takes 18 years to get truly messed up. It takes 18 years for them to teach you to feel bad about yourself. You know, you have it all lock in, so understand that a lot of the challenges you have Ah, lot of the things that have been holding you back. Actually, most of it. Probably in the 99.9 percentile. Is it your fault? And from here forward, you're gonna have some of these tools, some of these strategies to move forward and to read aside some of these things and do things more intelligently to have more control over who you are. I'll give you another shameless plug. I've actually got a great training. It's called Ari bt R E B T rational, emotive behavioral therapy. It's the science of your brain And how you see your programs delete your programs and re program yourself the way you want to be. This is how you get out of this trap and become yourself and even more like yourself, more like the person you always wanted to be and now choose to be So you're not just running a program in just ending up the way somebody else wants you to pay. Now the second factor is history. Michael Jackson did an album and it was called History. Now he pronounced it his story, and that's what I want to teach you. You have a history. You went through a bunch of stuff, but now it's over. Matter of fact, if I said, Ah, go grab me 10 minutes of your childhood, where would you go? You can't. So what do you have left of your childhood? Besides a few trinkets, you've got this story about what happened in your childhood, which is your interpretation. It's been warped over time. Much is abysmal. Has been for gotten filtered, twisted. It's just a story now, and as a matter of fact, it's just one story. It's your story, so it impacts you significantly, but I want you to remember just like remember, the B s is your belief system. Your history is just his story or her story. It's just a story. It can be changed. And also, your history tells me an awful lot about what happened and who you were. It tells me nothing about who you're gonna be in the future unless you get so wrapped up in your story, your hiss story that you think that's truly who you are. If you believe that and you don't let it go, then I do know what will happen. You'll do about the same things that you've always done and you'll get the same results you always got. You've got to get outside of this story. The third trap. The third thing that keeps you from being motivated, um is you don't spend most of your time in the Now you have a past future phenomenon going on here. You spend a bunch of time thinking about the past completely wasted and in the past, what lives there? Pain regrets, negative history, trauma, all these types of things. What lies in the future? Wory, fear, doubt. And what do you do when you're thinking about the future? You wasting your time. It's not happening right now. Now, if you use this properly, this could be a good tool. What? You're supposed todo as opposed to all the things I just described. It is the common usage of it. You have to do the uncommon usage of it, which is toe on Lee. Think about the past to draw information from the past. Lessons from the past, not the pain that goes with it. Just the lessons. Leave the pain. Take the lesson. Um, strength from the past. Inspiration from the past in perspective from the past. Now, when you go into the future, what are you supposed to grab from there? I want you to grab a powerful vision of how positive your future could be. I want you to see it clearly. I want you to believe in it. And I want you take every step between now and when you get there in that direction and you'll certainly get there. I want you to think about how great your future could be. I want you to plan for your future so you can see each step. I want you to enjoy each accomplishment as you go through each step. I want you to look at some of the problems that can happen, but only to quickly look at them. So you can spend, like 5% of your time deciding what types of challenges you might have, and then the other 95% of time working on the solution. That's what the future is for. That's the proper usage of it. Otherwise, it's just a trap in just something to cause you pain. 5. Other Factors: now. The fourth factor is that people function based on complex beliefs and rules. So those are the two pieces that we're gonna look at next. So what is a belief? Well, let's ask the question to figure that out. Why do people argue about politics? Because someone's beliefs are getting stepped on in what is a belief? A belief is simply an idea that you think is true North's. I underline it. You just think it's true. An idea is just a belief in your head. If you're taking notes, write that down. Ah, belief member, like a belief system is B s. That's the being the B s. Ah, belief is Justin idea that you think is true. There's something called Zen. People think it's a religion, or it's some weird, esoteric Chinese thing. It is a little esoteric. Sometimes they're a little weird, but basically what is that? Zen is the search for the truth. Zen is like science. Uh, science doesn't write down what they think is true. The examine it, they look at it from every angle. They test it, they dispute it. They try to figure out how it might be wrong. And when it survives all these attacks and all this rigorous examination, then it's true. Here's how most people get their beliefs. They get an idea in their head. They don't want to be raw eggs. That would hurt their self esteem. So they rigorously defend their idea. It ends up being wrong. They think it's true. They never examine it. They don't put it under rigorous examination. So because you're not examining it and you protected from all examination and all attack its pristine, it's perfect. It's untouched and completely wrong. And the people that do the Zen who examine these things realized that 99.9% of everything that you think is true is only true from a certain perspective, which means it's what wrong. It's not absolute truth. Therefore, it's a lie or just a partial truth. So now we looked at beliefs. Let's look at rules. So here I looked at it in terms of why two people fighting marriages because someone's rules air getting broken, say the husband has a rule that if somebody does something that offends you, you know you should jump up and you should be very verbal and you should defend yourself. You know, you should stick up for yourself. Well, what if the wife has a rule that says, You know when when you're having a conversation, you're supposed to be Keep uneven tone. Be respectful. I listen to you. You listen to me. Can you see where there's gonna be a rules conflict here? This is what ends most marriages. People's rules were getting stepped on. One person says The world should be this way. One person says the world should be another way. They have a rule about it. The rules don't match. That creates a clash, creates conflict. It can't be both ways. People have to learn what compromise. But people are good at compromise. Why? Because just like our beliefs, we defend our rules and we've had him so long. It's such a hard habit to break, and it's hard to see another perspective. You spent your whole life defending against that perspective. If that opposite perspective was so good, you would have had it right. So what is the rule? Rules are things that we think must happen or their mental shortcuts. Sometimes you have, if then shortcuts. They're called heuristics. Big fancy psychological term just means mental shortcuts. So when this happens, I immediately do this. When a car pulls in front of me, I immediately swerved there almost reflexive type thoughts. If something's cheaper, it must be better. That's a mental shortcut. That's a little rule. Artificial intelligence works on rules. If then there's even a website that will tell a computer how to take actions. It's called if if this then that I believe that's it. If this happens, then do that. That's a mental shortcut. That's how your brain works. So rules or things that we think must happen. And everybody's got a 1,000,000 different rules about what? How they think the world should be. And guess what? It probably isn't. This is the major source of frustration in your life. You have a rule about things, and life doesn't care about your rules. It cares about its rules. It cares about natural law and natural law on Lee. You know you got a rule. Hey, it shouldn't rain on my birthday. Well, guess what? That was gonna get broken appear periodically. You gonna be frustrated? So, um, next factor. Self image. This is huge for motivation. We're going to talk a little bit later about what self images, but you can see in the picture here, it says. What matters most is how you see yourself. Psychology one No. One says We always perfectly follow our self image. There's an old Zen expression that says People are perfectly being who they are. Think of it this way. Uh, im a black belt. So what's my self image that you're in shape, that your quick, that you're sharp, that your thoughtful So what do you think my weight is? Um, martial arts are always in good shape, so I'm in good shape. They always maintain their weight. So my weight's maintained. They're all about continuous learning. So now I got four different agrees. I was virtually programmed to do those things. People will always match their self image. Sometimes willpower isn't about, uh, pushing forward and toughing things out. It's about changing your image, who you want to be and what you'll accept in what you won't accept. So one of the quickest ways to make a change to be motivated, motivation and change of the same thing we're gonna talk about more about that later is the change. How you see yourself. I used to deal with all the time when I was dealing with the addicts. You know what the problem is with addicts? They think they're addicts and addicts do what they drink, and they drug. So as long as that person thinks of themselves as an addict, they're always gonna drink and drug. And they said, No, no, no, Paul, that keep your right Because an Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, they said you could never forget that you're an addict. They said you got a little jump up and say Hi, my name's Paul and I'm an alcoholic or addict. Uh, you say and then you tell your story. But what I tell him is yes. You never want to forget that you were an addict, but you're no longer an addict. You're a different kind of addict, so I would say not. Hi. My name's Parliament addict is addict shoes. I would say hi on Paul. I'm a grateful recovering addict. I'm grateful. Which means I know how far I've come and how hard I've worked. And I'm grateful to have these things back in my life, which means I'm never going to give them up. I'm a recovering addict in recovering addicts. Don't use I'm in. Recovery is the primary word, but addicts in there, too. I'm a recovering addict. I must have been an act at some point. But now I'm in recovery, which is my present and my future recovering addict. I wasn't addict. That's in my past. See how important self images now, what is self image? Self image is just on idea in your head. It's kind of like reality. And you say, Oh my God, how can that be your self image? Read it backwards is your image of yourself. It's one year personal fictions. It's how you picture you. Guess what say you got six friends, each one. Those six friends sees you differently. No, to see you is the same way. And then you have an image of yourself. Now between your six friends and you, there's seven people there. And no, no, one of those seven No. Two of those seven see you the same way one has got to be wrong. Say, well, it's those other people. Actually, they got a much better view from the outside. So in some ways they know you better than you know yourself and in other ways. You know yourself because an inside job right better than they dio. So to think that you know yourself better and other people is a false perspective. Um, and for them to think they know you better, you know, yourself is a false perspective. The correct answer is who knows me best. It's both matter of fact. I would have to give multiple opinions. They actually had a, uh, show. It was something about the wisdom of the crowd, I think was the name of the TV show. It was an artificial intelligence system, I think was called Sophie, and basically what it did is people would write in all their answers to a question, and the more answers you got, the closer it came to the mean to the average, and that was the most correct answer. And statistically it kept getting higher and higher and higher probability. The more people that responded to it that we had the correct answer wisdom of the crowd, sometimes known, is a crowd sourcing in artificial intelligence circles. I believe so. That's how humans work, too, so make sure that you're not stuck with this image of yourself because again you can change it. It's just an idea you have in your head. It's a story, and you can change this story, especially how it goes from here. Forward and you don't truly know yourself, and that's OK. You also don't know who you can be and who you can be will only change when you change that image of yourself. It's the only way to move forward, which is what? That's what motivation is. See how motivation is a lot different than you thought it is. Change yourself and the action will become easy. Don't change yourself. You will struggle, struggle, struggle. You will try to motivate yourself using air quotes here, Um, and you'll probably fail. You have to use the system that I'm teaching. So another way. Looking itself image, American History Dictionary says it's the concept one has of themselves. It's literally the way you picture yourself, and that's why I love this image of the baby looking at himself. It's just a concept. It's just a story. It's just in idea Now. If it's a story, what kind of stories have you been telling yourself about yourself? People are worried that other people are talking about them. Well, I don't give a damn what anybody else says about you as a therapist. Here's only thing that I worry about what you tell you about you that determines what you're gonna dio if I say, Hey, I want to go to the gym and I want to be motivated to do that. But, jeez, that's a lot of work and I don't really like working out blah, blah, blah. I'm not really the type of person that works out. I know that I'm not motivated to work out. I can look into the past and say, Well, I haven't been historically good about working out. I look into the future and I say, Jeez, I love the picture myself working out. But I know myself, and there's probably very little chance that I will. I just told myself like six or seven stories that are doomed to failure, I should be telling myself a story about you know how I'm like the rocky figure. You know, I used to be this £90 weakling, but then I learned this secret system, and I made a change in my life. I was motivated. I had some powerful reasons and I moved myself forward and had a rocky moment. I kept myself inspired. I kept working out. I kicked butt in. Now I'm very cut, very athletic. That's a good story to tell yourself. Tell yourself the story. Not about how much pain you're gonna have and how much money it's going to cost, how much time it's gonna take to go to the gym. That's that's an interesting story. That's a de motivating story. We want motivating stories moving towards our goal, not away from them. I tell myself a story about how great I'm gonna feel. Ah, I tell myself that I'm gonna feel great and be healthy. I'm gonna have endorphins going through my body. I tell me something, I'm gonna look great. My clothes. I'm gonna have a long life. I'm not. I'm gonna be in a sound mind. I can't consider myself intelligent. I told you had four different agrees. Can you be intelligent in die from eating yourself into the grave with a fork or from not working out? What if you die of a heart attack? I mean, part of that could be genetic, but most of it is what what you put in your mouth, which was entirely up to you and whether or not you moved very much or very little. So again. And that's party in that story that you tell yourself, is part of your self image. See how these things are becoming synergistic. So be very careful about the stories you tell yourself. I've seen people, they go in and they have an exam with me and the people that do well in the test or the ones that say, Oh, I'm a great test taker. I can kick butt Teleni and take names. That's the story they tell themselves in your brain, which is a dumb machine simply says Yes, sir. Yes, ma am. I'll get right on it and it helps him out. Why? Because they have a belief system that they're going to do well, so their brain helps them to do well. If they say, Oh, jeez, you know, I don't know if I studied enough. I always get so nervous and tests I can remember so many times when the answer just flew out of my head, I think I'm gonna forget and your brain says Yes, sir. Yes, ma am. I have my instructions. I can picture what you want because you give me some. You told me a beautiful story of it. I can imagine. It's like I lived it because they did. Um, this seems to be what you want. I'll get right on that. Be very careful what you tell yourself, right. The news story that you wanna have tell yourself stories, that movie in the right direction. Now, I'm a great fan of this philosophy. We never rise higher than our image of ourselves. Next, you got the little smiley face I got the up and down here. Oh, uh, with those two red lines represent is your self image will give you a glass floor in a glass ceiling, a point at which you can rarely rise above or rarely go below. So this is where you motivate yourself through a very simple technique called raising your standards. We're gonna talk a little bit more about it later. Um, but there's based on your history. There's a point which you can't go below because you get massive resistance and that you probably can't go above because again you get massive resistance. This really works itself out in the area. Math. When you look at salaries that people get most people, you know, especially their guys like me, you know, a guy will look at his dad salary, you know, or a girl will look at it, Mom, salary or maybe your dad's to and say, Hey, you know my mom, My dad, They made say, typical wage, $45,000 a year, $50,000 a year. And what they'll do is they will give themselves a glass floor and a glass ceiling. What does that mean? They'll say, Well, I'm not a complete loser. You know anybody that's making less than $30,000 a year? You know, half of what my parents were making is a complete loser, so I'll never let myself go below that. If I gotta work two jobs to make the 30,000 we're not going below that. So they make it happen. If they are making, say, 20 25,000 their massive pain, they were very hard to get back to school or try to get a promotion or do whatever they have. Teoh, uh, to get above that floor now, same thing will happen. The opposite it if they start making 60 65 70 About 10% more in their parents. That's where they start hitting the glass ceiling. So once they start hitting 70 75 when their parents only made 55 to 60 they start saying, Geez, you know, uh, making too much money. Maybe I better slow down. Um, I've been working awful hard. I haven't been spending time with my family. Um, I'm worried if I get promoted one more time on be promoting my level of incompetence, I just don't feel comfortable anymore. I'm worried that I'm gonna lose this. You know, they'll be all kinds of things that go on in your mind that kind of push you back down. You're getting outside your comfort zone so people have this glass floor in glass ceiling for a lot of things. Um, we're talking about weight. Earlier, I got a certain weight that I won't go below. I think that's too skinny. It looks Ronnie or whatever, or I just can't get myself to go lower than that. I just can't diet enough. You know, I got a weight. I won't go above. I said, Oh, my God. I feel bad. I look worse. I don't want to be like that. Uh, Now I feel like I really let myself down, and I won't go above that weight. Um, So how do you maintain a good weight? Make sure your high isn't very high on the weight scale. Make sure your low is not too low. Put it where you like. I'm a six foot one. So I put my scale between 1 55 and won 85. I won't go above 1 85 I won't go below 1 55 So where do I normally maintain? Usually about 1 65 So I'd like to be on the lower end. I'd love to go lower, but again, it's hard for me. It's easy for me to go higher. But then I feel like a failure, and I immediately start dropping it back down. Um, but I mean, within a nice, tight £20 range. When I want to maintain my weight, I say, Okay. If I go up two or £3 now, I'm hitting the pain ceiling. If I go down two or £3 um, I don't hit a floor because my floors lower than that. But that gives me a little bit of buffer. So I don't hit the upper side. I start shifting my standards higher. So this is how you use the self image to help yourself. But I want you to also know this is what can hurt yourself. You got eliminate that image on the upside and raise your downside. So how did people decide what to dio? Well, let me tell you, we act from either emotion or logic. Which one do you think it ISS think about it? Do you act logically or emotionally? I can typically tell you what's happening in the studio audience is at least 90% of people think they do things logically, but with emotion. So the logic is the primary thing and the emotions of secondary thing other people know Well, I'm very emotional, so no, I pretty much know I go based on my emotions. I don't always follow my logic. I would say the emotion is over the logic, and that's the primary. The reality is virtually everybody uses emotional reasoning. Then later they justify it with logical reasons, and this is why people do things like I'm showing you here. The girls got the apple in the cake and she's trying to figure out what to dio. Now. Logically, what would she pick? You know, 100 out of 100 times? Logically, she would always picked the apple. What are the chances she's gonna pick the cake? Typical person. 90 to 95% chance she's gonna pick the cake. Why? Because we're always looking to feel better. We were as human animals. We want to feel better. So we don't do things because they're logical. We do it for emotional reasons. Remember that pain and pleasure The cake would create pleasure and the apple would feel like a loss. I didn't get thing that I wanted, which was the cake. So there's a loss there. That's pain. So given the fact that were moved towards pleasure and away from pain shall eat the cake Now, how did some people get around this and eat the apple instead of the cake? Because we said about 10% of people will do that. Remember, it's perceived pain and perceived pleasure so that 10% say I know that cake would be so delicious in the moment. Oh, my God. It would be the best. They never put my face. But it's a moment on the lips and attorney on the hips. I'm gonna feel good for about two minutes, cause that's how long it's gonna take me a scarf this down and I'm gonna feel bad for two or three days and it's gonna take me, like, you know, 23 minutes to eat this and it's gonna take me, you know, 23 days to lose that weight. So the pain of having to go through even more deprivation and the guilt of eating the cake makes me go for the apple. Plus, I tell myself something different about the apple. If I eat the apple, that can actually mean some pleasure because I will have defeated the evil piece of cake. I will have defeated that evil evil cake and I'll be eating something healthy. That'll move me towards my goals, and I will actually lose some weight today instead of gained some weight today. And how will that make me feel? It made me feel fantastic. And like a winner, the cake will make me feel good for a second. But then, for a couple of days, like a loser, I do my cost benefit analysis that we talked about early on the course and I choose the apple. That's the other 10%. Remember, I said, We don't really know how we're choosing notice as how it has to do with emotional reasoning . Knows it has to do a lot with the questions that you asked yourself or didn't ask yourself how you looked at it. We're gonna go over all these things soon. So 99.9% Some people say it's 100% of everything we do is emotional reasoning, and then we back it up with logic later. Like I said, we're mostly looking for a state change. Now this person's going a little overboard, but you get the point right. People are always trying to change their state. Uh, when they're bored, they want to be excited. When they get too much excitement. They call it stress, and they want to relax. If they're relaxed for too long, they get bored so they want somewhat some or excitement. If they've had too much of both of those states, they just want to be down the middle and just kind of chill for a little while. We're always looking to change our state. It's a normal human behavior. What are you doing when you're moving towards pleasure in away from pain? It's a state change. So there's lots of positive ways to change your state diet exercise, helping people learning something, getting an award, uh, even going on a cruise or vacation. There's also lots of negative ways to get a state change. People will choose, uh, drugs and I don't know pornography. And some people get a sick, perverted thrill out of beating their kids. You know, like I'm in charge and finally I'm on top, you know, it's not. My parents beat me and beat my kids. There's a lot of sick things that negative things that make people feel good. Some people get Bigas a house. Why, I just feel so good to just keep eating and eating and eating because it creates this wonderful feeling. Everybody wants to eat as much as they want. Any time they want it all day long. I do, too, but I can't do it. But if you just can't resist that particular state change than food. Your addiction, just like this lady. Looks like we might be hers, okay or whatever. She's smoking her pipe there. So it's not an unusual thing to want a state change. Matter of fact, if you don't want to state change, you're not human. Everybody does it. Make sure that you go for the positive state changes and you avoid the negative ones. Switch him out. So at the end of the day, we just want to stop the pain, boost our pleasure, our ultimate goals to be happy in life. And we just want to feel better. That's normal human reaction. So quick. Little interesting psychological fact. You may or may not believe it, but I'm gonna prove it to your satisfaction. People are always motivated now a lot. He probably took this course. Well, I'm not motivated enough for I could be more motivated or I don't have maximum motivation. Maybe I got no motivation. I'm just picture myself is lazy. People are always motivated. You won't take the slightest action unless you're motivated. I always use the humors example. Say you're sitting on the couch and you're watching your TV show and commercials just come off now you're happy you're watching your show and darn it, you realize you gotta pick. It's getting more, more painful. You know, you can feel like it's like the back your eyes were getting yellow. Uh, what is the exact moment that you will give up the pleasure of watching that TV show and have the pain of missing part of it and run off to the bathroom? I can tell you it's the exact moment where the pain of staying there and having a pee so bad is worse than the pleasure you get from the TV show. It will be a mild moment of confusion. It's kind of 50 50 but once it's at least 49 51 especially when it's 60 40 0 you'll take action quick so people are always motivated. Here's another way to describe it to you. I'm gonna tell you that super motivated people are the same. A super demotivated. People say your ah, like this guy and you're trying to climb to the top of the ladder and you'll do anything and you'll step over people and you'll work 20 hours a day. 77 a half days a week to get ahead and get different degrees and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're going to the top of the corporate ladder. You're going to run the whole show. Hell, you're gonna go for president. That person is motivated to move towards a goal that they think when they get there will mean pleasure. They probably have a self image that matches, right. You catch it out. Right. Um, they are totally motivated. See, this guy went to somebody else with high school, and he's sitting at his parents smoking dope in his basement. That guy is motivated in the exact same way this go getter is trying to take the exact actions that he thinks will lead to the least amount of pain and the most pleasure and get him to where he wants to be. Which is what Happy? The quote unquote lazy demotivated person smoking dope in his parents basement says No, no, no, you don't understand. I'm also trying to move towards happiness in hard work and sweating and were numb, uh, monkey suit and kissing everybody's butt and working 20 hours a day That equals massive pain. Sitting here giggling with my friends smoking a little weed, you know, catching up with Kardashians. That's that's absolute pleasure. I can have fun doing that all day long. You know, I'm not like those corporate idiots going out there. And they got they got a story about those people. They work too hard, and they got to stick up there, but and they're gonna have a heart attack at 40 and be the richest man in the graveyard due to do. They got a story, A negative story about what happens if you do that. They got a positive story about what they dio. You know, I'm gonna kick it in gear next year. You know, I'm not doing bad. I'm saving up some money while I'm at my folks. I mean, I'm enjoying my youth, You know, I'm taking a couple of years off will probably go to college later. You know, whatever. They have a story. Each person has a story and they're perfectly motivated. And they're each working on that plan. The 16 waking hours of the day that they're awake. They're both working a plan to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. They're perfectly motivated. It's just in which direction Two different strategies to get to the same thing, which is maximum pleasure, minimum pain, happiness. Everybody's motivated 6. What Creates Change - Part 1: How do we create changing ourselves and others? This kind of an exciting part of the course? Um, change in motivation are the exact same thing, because what's motivation to do something that you normally don't dio got him trying. Think of the clinical term for that. Oh, yeah, it's change. So how do we get motivated to make a change? So creating changing motivation, we're gonna use those terms interchangeably. Now, I promise you at the beginning that you would learn how to do this first in yourself and also gain some skills and how to do it in others. Much understand how to do it yourself. And now you got some a lot of the pre concepts. Now we can go into specific tool strategy techniques. How to make this happen. So what creates change? Go first. This is interesting. If you want somebody else to change, go first. This is how to create a great change in your life and in other people's lifes. I love this one. Um, say your husband and wife team and you're the husband and you want your wife to treat you with more respect. Here's how you do that you treat her with more respect. You got to go first. It's a negotiation. She's not gonna treat you with respect. If you don't treat her with respect, right, she's gonna follow you. And if she doesn't, then you can demand that respect, okay? Or try a different strategy, but at least go first. Most people aren't getting the respect in the marriage because they don't inspire respect. And they're not giving respect. And they're not making that a certainty. They're not making that a must in the relationship, and they're also not going first. So if I want my wife to be kinder to me, I need to be kinder to her now. She has been kind in a while. May take a while for this to catch on. You know, you don't scrape the flint against the rock one time and expect the fire, But go first, they say, be the change you want to see in the world. So, uh, go first is a great technique. You want to change the way your kids behave, you have to model that behavior. You gotta go first. Sometimes you got it. Like I said, it takes a while. You gotta go 1st 2nd 3rd and fourth. I didn't have enough room to slide to tell you that. But go first is a great technique. Use it. Make change sometimes, too, when you want to make a change, go first literally means if I want to change me, I got to go first. Um, how do you go to the gym? 100 times you go the first time you go first. Going first is an awesome technique. Another technique that creates change. If you want to change the whole world, change the way you look at it, so literally change your perspective. Go from a pessimist toe. An optimist. Go from somebody who sees the glass is half full, 2/2 empty or from half empty to have full. Those are all different changes. Remember comedian, he said. The guy said to him, Ah, you gotta you gotta glass of tequila and it's half full, he said. He said, It's It's fill halfway. Is it half Fullers and half empty? He says. I don't know, but I want no to drink half my tequila. So sometimes you think there's two perspective and they're actually 1/3 right? Yeah, good strategy. So Like I said, if you want to change the whole world, change the way you look at it, new ways of seeing the world. Here's another thing that creates change, new philosophies, new ways of thinking. One of the great ways is critical thinking. You get the picture of the thinker right here. Classics that greets Greek statue in the middle. Um, as you get out there is, you start reading and talking to new people. As you listen to their stories, you can learn new philosophies and add them to yourself. They will then become part of your programming part of your stories. You want to make sure they're good ones, but listen, toe taking all the good ones. Leave the rest you want to. You want to be out there in the universe out there in the world looking for new ways of thinking. Um, it's called role modeling, finding people that do exceptionally well in an area that you want to do well and don't just notice what they do or what they talk about, but try to figure out how they're looking at things. What kind of philosophies were used? How did they think about it? How do they picture the situation different than you dio? And if you understand how they do that, you can decide to do it the same way, too. Now here's a great one. Reframing reframing is literally changing. How you look at it reframing means to change the frame. They say the picture looks different when you change the frame around, Um, but reframing literally means to think about it from a different perspective. So the old classic thing is take lemons and make lemonade. Um, you know, some people see poop and other people see fertilizer, so it's all a matter of changing the perspective. We talked about one perspective, which was going from being an addict to be in a grateful, recovering addict. That is a refrain. Okay, you could say, Well, I'm fat and I want to lose weight. Well, think of yourself as fat is counterintuitive. You can say I'm not at my ideal weight yet. I'm moving in the direction of my ideal weight that gives your brain the instruction that you're thinner than you are and to take you in that direction. I'm fat. I hope I get better tells your brain that your fat, You're probably not going to get any better, Uh, and to keep you fat. So looking at things from a different lands is a great way of doing things. I remember one time I had two possible scenarios in my life, and I can tell you which one I would have picked if they had given me a choice. I remember they were having staff reductions, also known as massive layoffs and firings and it rehab that I was at. And, ah, as luck would have it, they were letting everybody go the head of master's or higher and keeping the bachelor's level people cause they were cheaper. So if I had my choice stay or go Oh, my God, I love this staff there. I love the facility. I I love the people that I was working with patients. It was just one of the best jobs I ever had. I would never have chosen the fire myself. I would set off. I'm staying. You can fire somebody else. That would have been the wrong thing to Dio. Um, I went on to have an even better job. I ended up running the whole thing. Matter of fact, they ended up running three or four their divisions. I got a company car that came with it. I got a salary increase. I won an award and I had five or six of the best years of my life that I ever ever had. I just didn't know it. So even when things happen like it's not, um, you don't necessarily know that it's a good thing or a bad thing you have to reframe. It is This might be a good thing. So the reframe in my situation would be It's not that I got fired. It's now that I have an infinite number of jobs that I could be working have an infinite number of possibilities. I have a chance to upgrade my position. Boo hoo! I lost my job. I'm losing money every minute and I'm a big loser. And why does this happen to me? That's one frame you could put around it. But I can tell you how that would make you feel and how that would de motivate you. Uh, I'm gonna get out there and kick ass and take names and get an even better position. I can tell you what that ended me up, okay? And you could say, Oh, that's just being poly And that's just kidding yourself. Maybe I call it the effective use of life. If I'm gonna lie to myself and tell myself I'm a big loser cause I'm not and I should feel terrible and I'm losing a bunch of money. That's kind of true, but I'm not losing that much. I got a big raise overall. I made out like a bandit. Ida lost money if I stayed, so that was actually a lie. We lie to ourselves all the time, so don't be afraid to lie to yourself. I like to myself. All through college, I said, Oh, this won't be hard. This won't take long. Oh my God, It was hard. It took long, but by the time I finished lying to myself and I look back over those four years, it didn't seem that bad, and I had had a lot of fun and I met a lot of people and I learned a lot of things. It's it's one of things that I feel great about, but while I was going through it, I need to reframe because I was suffering a little bit. It was long and it was hard. It did seem like a long stretch. So I reframed it to make me feel better until my Lai became the truth. So it's the effective use of reframing. So I hope I gave you some good examples. I hope you're thinking of your own as I'm talking. And you can use this technique in the future. Now, one of the key things that creates change is asking better questions. And we talked about a little bit about this earlier. Um, if you want to make yourself feel better, you don't ask yourself. Oh, you know why I lose my job? What am I gonna do for money? Why am I such a weenie? Why did have to be me? Those questions will take you down. How about what kind of new people am I gonna be working with? How much of an increase are they going to give me? What new challenges am I gonna have? What new freedoms am I gonna have? How many new friends am I gonna make? Oh, my God. I made so many more friends. I went from one hospital to another, and there was, like 10 times as many people at this hospital, and they were just beautiful people. And I had a ton of friends Where before I just had a few. I still love them, and I still keep him. But, uh, it was a great boon to me. We have to start asking better questions. Like the person on the tax. They asked themselves hoagies, and I am I gonna forget. Okay. The other person asked themselves how great they're gonna feel when they kicked butt on this test. I didn't get to snicker at their friends. That didn't do as well. Why? Because they choke silly humans ask better questions. You're going to start a business. Don't. Don't spend all your time figuring out how everything can go wrong. Figure out all the things that go right, how you could make extra money and how you can grow and how you can expand. Uh, how you can automate things that make more money than ever. That's what I do better questions. Your questions are going to determine whether you're motivator, demotivated, whether you're resourceful or you kill off your sources and remember your your best source . Another great thing that creates change reading. When you're reading a book, whose thoughts are you thinking yours or somebody else's? Remember little earlier We said We want to have new ways of seeing the world Reading is a fantastic way to do it. It's a brand new belief system. It's a brand new way of seeing things, thinking about things, philosophy so thinking, belief systems for loss of even critical thinking, how they go through their logic process. Being able to see a situation from the outside reading will take you places you could never go, do things you could never dio TV in. The movies will do some of that to, um, so reading is a great way to change your belief systems to create change in your life when I want to create change in my life. I went down the self help section. I got the audio tapes, the CD so I could do that. When I was in my car, I'm reading the books always had one on the table. I always had one of my arm or in one of my briefcase. I would even photocopy some pages folded up and stick in my back pocket in case. I wasn't near my car. My briefcase in my office to have the book. Um, I was always trying to find another way to think about things and to believe things and to see things so that I could expand who I am. If you've only got one way of seeing, thinking and believing things, you're an idiot. You know what a genius is? A problem solver. Somebody's truly intelligent. Intelligence is not the amount of things you know. It's how many things you apply. And we said knowledge isn't power into the Apply it in the number of ways you can think about something that's true wisdom, not a bunch of information. You got Google for that. Here's one of the biggest things. The powerful. Why they say he has a powerful enough why can endure anyhow. So you can see the before and after pictures here. How did these people make these amazing changes? They had a lot of powerful wise, and that's what you have to do. Remember we talked about that earlier moved those powerful lies from the back, your mind to the front, your mind make him burn with intensity and emotion because remember we do things for emotional reasons. So you got to figure out what your powerful wise are in the next slide. We're gonna look at what some of those might be. So you're powerful. Why might be the future that you wanna have? How do you want to live? What? What do you want for your significant other? What do you want for your income level? What do you want your health to be like? Where do you want to live? What kind of job do you want to have? What types of things do you want for your family? What level of retirement do you have? How do you want to live your retirement? Where do you want to live? Your retirement. How soon do you want to retire? Self esteem is a powerful 12 I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to move forward in my life. I want to feel good every day. I want to have health. Um, I want to make my mom or my dad proud of me, or I want to help out my mama. Yeah. They could use a few bucks, right? I won't have security in my life is a major thing for a lot of people. I wanted to get rich for one very simple reason. I want security. So I never had to worry about money again. Um, I wanted money to help other people, and I just want to take it off my plate. I want to be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. And that kind of money, that kind of security takes a bunch of money, but that's OK. Um, for a lot of people, they're powerful. Why's their sanity? They are so sick of the way things have gone. They can't stand for another day, and Sandy can be used another way. You could say I got four different agrees. I'm a pretty smart guy, you know, Um, can I still consider myself intelligent? Am I really saying if I'm sitting, you're smoking a cigarette and I'm killing myself by choice? Would an intelligent person do that? Would a sane person do that? No. You should write this down for yourself if you smoke cigarettes being a sound mind, I decided to die of natural causes. If you're gonna die unnatural, unnatural causes. You're insane. Saying you die of natural causes in saying you forcibly cause yourself to dive on natural causes Another way you can use sanity. Emotion creates motion. Take the E off of emotion and you get motion right? We're on Lee, driven by our emotions. Very little biologic, almost none. Some people will talk, will tell you. So use your emotions. Use your good emotions in your happiness to pull your forward. Your sadness when you're said, Let it you let use that to move you forward when you're angry, turn anger into action. They call it emotional alchemy, changing one emotion into another. I always take my emotions good batter and different in tournament toe action. That's what motivates me. Major key. So what creates change? Creating compelling vision of the future? You have to decide what that is for you now. For a lot of people, it's money for other people. It's the house of their dreams. For other people, it's a supermodel. I'm gonna go for all three you got. Decide what it is for you, but make sure that you have a good, strong vision of it. You're picturing it. You're holding in your mind as if it's already there, just waiting ahead of you to catch up with in the future. And like I said, if you take every step in that direction, chances they're excellent. They're excellent. You'll get there and again, like a rocky story if anything gets in your way. Remember, Rocky lost his first fight. Way had have raki to until he could beat that guy. Uh, you'll get past it. You'll drive on, you know, just make the success story that much sweeter. I didn't start making most of my money until much later in life. I was so busy run around helping other people. I forgot to make any money for myself. I actually had to change the way that I help people to make more money on. And I did that by helping more people. So it worked out 7. What Creates Change - Part 2: Now, the other thing that creates change is learning new coping skills. Uh, the better you can cope, the more things you can handle and the better you can handle yourself and you can handle the people around you. So coping skills air. Absolutely huge. Shameless plug. I got a whole training on this. You absolutely love it. Some of the most unique coping skills you ever seen. And just like in this training, all the philosophy around it, which is as valuable, if not more valuable than the coping skills themselves. Because once you understand the philosophies, you'll come up with some unique and specific coping skills in your life will never be the same. When I did therapy with people, we did coping skills, coping skills, coping skills, coping skills. Why? Because if I could teach you the coping skills you could apply. I'm 24 7 You would think up even new and exciting coping skills that I hadn't thought about . You tell me about him that stealing and using with an ex client. But I'm a great collector of them. Let's put it that way. Um, in your life would change. You would revolutionize the way things went, and then all of my clients, they would actually get so good at the coping skills because they had changed. The people had to change around them. In response to that, their stress levels went down, their health went up, their immune system went up, they lived longer, they felt better. Their self esteem went up, they were more motivated, They had more energy, and the people around them actually got better. And they would share these skills with people. They could move from a place of strength in their life. Just amazing. The transformation. You would see. People don't know how few coping skills they have until they take my class and they realize how much is out there and how little they knew about it. And they're thrilled, you know, even if nothing was going wrong in their life. Uh, how much this has helped them reprogramming the self image. Now, a little funny little thing here. We got the pretty girl on the left, and she's got a pretty accurate image of herself. The other guys a little delusional. But remember we said, fooling yourself a little bit and lying to yourself. The effective use of lying yourself isn't bad. He's seeing himself the way he wants to be Now. When you kid yourself like this a little bit, use the effective use of that can be the effective use of the ineffective use of shifting your self image. If he really believes he looks great and he doesn't, he won't get he won't get better if he's just being delusional about. If he's imagining it in his future and using it as a goal, he will if he's delusional and thinks he already looks good. Like I've seen a lot of people dio uh, they're not motivated to look better, so this could be used for you or against you. So you always want to be accurate in your self image and a little bit inaccurate in terms of seeing yourself a little better than you are as a goal. That's the way you do it. So see that better self in the future. Take those steps towards it and don't see yourself. You know, this guy in the mirror he could have gone the other way, you know, I've got anorexics that see themselves is too fat and you look at me, see Oh, my God. This looks like an Auschwitz victim. They look like they're gonna die any minute. Somebody get this girl a sandwich. They look horrible. You almost have to look away. That's a false self image. So there's a lot of negative things about yourself that you see or think or believe that aren't true. Now, I said, the girl on the left, She may have an accurate self image of yourself, but I guarantee you I could crush her and under, like, two minutes. You know why? Because beautiful people especially, uh, worry about their faults, and they try to pick them out. I could tell her her nose was too big and she would say, Oh, my God. And your lips or too fat and your collarbone stick out. You look too skinny. Um, you got one breast that's bigger than the other one. Eyebrow is higher than the other. You got one year that's higher than the other. Your nose is crooked. Okay, when when you smile, you look like the Joker. And so Oh, no, What? You cry right away. It's a horrible thing to do to human being, but you could you know why not because it's true. If they knew it was absurd, They probably laugh in your general direction. It slap you first. You deserve that. They slap you first. They would know it's false, and they wouldn't cry if they cry. When they believed all those things, most people get pretty upset. They would think about it for days, not because you said it, but because part of them, a sick part of them, believed it was true. And it isn't. Let those things go now. You can. You can tell how a child's going to come out pretty much by looking at two things. Basically, the people he surrounds himself with will determine 90 to 95% of how they're gonna turn out the other 5 to 10% is every other factor you can ever think of. So if you look at the parents, the family, the friends, people there around in school, basically the people have impact on. So basically family, friends, mentors I put down here, um, that's how you gonna come out. So be very careful who you hang out with. You know, sometimes it's a negative crowd and you need to get rid of those people. Sometimes the negative crowd is, Ah, family member. You just got avoid him. It can be a sibling. Sometimes it's apparent sometimes both the parents darn it. Sometimes you got to use them as reverse role models. You know, you think What would Dad dio and then do the exact opposite? But don't confuse, you know, the fun, quirky friend who is actually kind of negative. Why? Because you know he's lazy or he doesn't take things serious. Or, you know, he doesn't really have any intelligence or any skills to bring to the table and hang out with him because he's fun or whatever and end up wasting your time with them when you could be spending it with somebody that has skills that they can share. Um, that still cares about you. And the beer's gone that, Ah, uh, has something to offer. I always say that your best friend is the person that brings out the best in. Yes, that's what you want to hang out with. You always want to constantly, uh, be hanging out with people that are better, smarter, brighter in all the areas that could be mentally, physically, spiritually, intellectually skill wise, whatever. They're in some way, shape or form. I like to hang out with people that are better than me, because if you're below me, you can only drag me down. If you're beside me, you can't take me anywhere. You and I could just go sideways And if you're above me, you can lift me up. So some other things that create change and they make you feel absolutely fantastic. And these were some of my motivations. The things that move me is contribution. It's why I'm teaching. I could have gotten my MBA and went out and, uh, figured out how to make a bunch of money. And I have been rich my whole life, but I wanted to help people. I said, I'm a smart guy. I'll figure out a way to make some money, you know? And last year, made over 1/4 $1,000,000. Why? Because I used my native intelligence the year before. I didn't make that, But in here I figured out how to do it. Why, by sitting down, focusing and saying How can I be of service to more people? How can I contribute more? How can I get back How can I be helpful to people on a more massive scale? And every did before? And that will bring me more money. So as I served more people, I got more money. That's what I'm doing here on this course. Um, I could mentor one on one and somebody might pay me 50 bucks an hour or 100 bucks an hour. 300 bucks an hour. Depends on how good the services. Right? I'll get a job I'm doing. If I do it in a group, I could charge 100 bucks a head. You know, I could have 30 or 100 people in the room, you know, So I could make you know, uh, 234 $5000 doing a group. Or I could do something like this where I could make 10 or 15 or 20,000 if enough people take the course in all heavy, wider reach. So I go from one person in front of me to a local group to national and international. The more people you help, the more you deserve. And even if you only help one person so you're not using that philosophy. You just saying Hey, I want to feel fantastic. I want to help one person. I loved it, too, that I love to hold the door for people. I love to say hi to people and recognize that makes him feel great. I love to pour a cup of coffee and handed to him was just a nice thing to do. I love giving a Christmas presents, You know, anything that I could do? I love, you know, meet with a friend is down. I like taking people out the lunch. I like paying for lunch. I used me so cheap. I don't want to pay for lunch now. I enjoy it. It's a way to help people. So it's part of the motivation part of my motivation. Like I said to get the money, Uh, wasn't for me. I don't have a lot of toys. I don't drive a junk car again. I told you was cheap, right? I'd rather spend the money on other people. Um, after I saved up for retirement, I'd rather take that couple extra 1000 help out. A friend who was a need. I lent a friend a couple 1000 last week because, you know, he couldn't keep his lights on and you know, he's got a wife and kids to worry about that type of stuff. I don't care if he overpays me back or not. I am just so grateful that I had that money to be in a situation where I could do that, cause I remember for many years like I said, I didn't have any money. Don't think I'm bragging about my money because I spent 99% of my life without me. Um, you know, I grew up poor state poor, most my life, helping other people. Um, I was thrilled to be in that position. Help my friends what I always had wanted to do and couldn't felt fantastic motivated me to get more. Uh, I love this quote. It's I think it's from a book from Augmon Dino. It says Small steps repeated can complete any undertaking. Um, remember I said, pick a goal. Make sure each step is in that direction. That's what you need to dio a little bit today. A little bit tomorrow, a little bit the next day. Constant never ending improvement. Just keep going. Keep going, keep going. It's the power of compound interest. Keep doing little things and huge things will happen. Do you know what the word extraordinary comes from? It's actually two words put together. Extraordinary. Just do more ordinary things than the guy next to you in. Pretty soon he'll be ordinary because he just does the ordinary amount and you'll be extraordinary. You'll be extraordinary. That's how simple it is. Um, how did I get a doctoral degree? I was a very strong C student. I did very ordinary things. I said, Well, what do you do to get a doctor? Well, you got to write a paper. I mean, you gotta put sentences down. Yeah, it's mostly copying and pasting what other people said. So I don't have to be that smart. Hell, I did that in high school and I was able to pull that off. I could write a paper I didn't like to, but I did. So when I got to college, I didn't like to, but I did. I could read English is my first language I could read. I could read one page and then flip it over and read the next one. I could take notes. Um, and I remembered most stuff. Average average level of attention. That's it. That's all you need for intelligence to go all the way through the doctor and beyond. There's nothing you can't learn. Nothing can't be If you could just do those ordinary things over and over and over again. That's how I got my black belt in kung fu. My instructor would take something that was relatively complex. He would break it down to brain dead stupid, simple pieces. He take a simple punch which you just think is curling your hand into a ball and throwing your arm for and he break it down like 12 different steps. And then you get me practice each step, and then he had me practice putting them together. Then they had me practice doing it with intensity. He had me practice doing it with Flo and Eddie Practice. Doing it was Speed and I was doing all these brain dead simple things that anybody can do. You don't be Bruce Lee to do this. You could have a closed head injury. And you could do this. You could be mentally challenged and do this. Uh, I certainly was at the time. Um, and you can do it in pretty soon by doing the ordinary over and over and over again, your skill becomes extraordinary. That's all. Gymnast ISS. They do very ordinary moves. They put them all together. They do him over and over and over, failing all 99% of the time till they get to that last little bit where they finally got it nailed. You know, many times you fall on your head trying to a back flip. My next still hurts. You do ordinary things over and over again, and you become extraordinary. Now, Uh, language is huge in motivation and also in how you feel. Remember, motion creates emotion. So I want you to look at this in terms of how it's making you feel, how it's making you look at things and how it's moving it forward. Actually, pull this piece out. It's just like one slide from a course. I teach another shameless plug for neural linguistic programming. You gotta have this one, remember, said Ari. BT is the science of how your brain works. This is the one of the Onley, other, um, psychology systems that's based on science. Everything else is based on theory, union theory and Nigerian theory and Freudian theory and every other kind of theory you could think of. They're not really they're not scientific. They're not proven. They're just theories and only work a little bit. And usually not for the reasons you think this is the science, how your brain works. It's NLP neuro brain linguistic, which is what we're gonna talk about right here. How language effects, how you feel, what you'll do if you're motivated or unmotivated, what actions you take and how you program yourself. Programming neural linguistic programming the way in which you program yourself how largely through language. So let's look at how powerful languages this one, where we talk about reframing. This is the linguistic version of Reframing. Um, remember the roller coaster? I would feel nervous and think that meant fear, and I should avoid the roller coaster. Somebody else felt their heart pounding and their palms sweating, and they thought they were excited, like when they saw a pretty girl or a cute guy. They thought they were excited, and they ran towards that roller coaster. Exact same physiological reactions. It s'more how you take it than what's actually going up. So what I used to do. I used to this. When I first started doing public speaking, I was Oh, my God. I was so fearful of public speaking. I would be nauseous for three days before in two days after and it was already over. It was that bad, and I was horrible at it. Horrible. Worst you ever seen. But what I did is I changed the way that I looked at. I said, Well, you're not public speaking. You're talking to a friend. You gonna pick one person in the audience. That's the only person you gonna talk to. A matter of fact, I used to talk to people one on the left and one on the right so I could scan back and forth. I was literally stopping it and talking back and forth to those two people. It looked like I was talking to the whole audience. I was really only talking to people, and I had pulled that off successfully before I didn't think was public speaking. That's a reframing language. What's public speaking? It's any time you speak and somebody else hears you. A one on one conversation is public speaking. At which point do you decide to get nervous. What's your number? Because that's a language thing. You pick a number is your number 345 10. 20 20,000. I remember I spoke with straws Center. I got an award for teaching at Argus E. Um Oh, my God. I think that thing holds 5 6000 people. That was a good size audience. I didn't tell myself I was nervous. I told myself it was excited. I pictured how great it was gonna be. All the things that I'm teaching you. I wasn't worrying about how it was going to go. I was planning how it was going to go. When you make a mistake, look at the next one. It's not a mistake. It's feedback. You learned one thing that didn't work. That's good feedback. You also learned something not to do to continue to have problems in the future. And that very mistake, by doing the opposite, may show you the solution. Let's look at the next one. Unbearable becomes hard, impossible becomes difficult. Catastrophe becomes unique situation. Notice how unbearable and hard and possible on difficult. What we're doing is we're not saying unbearable becomes delightful. Impossible becomes simple. Okay, We're simply saying, Don't use a severe word. We're dropping the level of intensity and unbearable. It seems like you can't do it hard. Seems like Well, it's gonna be hard, but I can do it Impossible means you can't Difficult means Yes, struggle. But you will do it in our e b t. They talk about catastrophe izing when you call something a catastrophe. It seems like everything's ruling and your whole life is devastated. You make it this huge thing. It seems very small when you say, Oh, that's unique situation. I remember thinking that, uh, when I had a building burned down on me, I said, Boy, I haven't had that happen before. I laughed about and the patients thought I was insane. He said, Mr Paul must be losing it. I don't He's overmedicated or under medicated, but you know, he's the whole building burned down. He's laughing about it. I can't laugh about it because I didn't think it was that big a deal. It was kind of unique. It was kind of interesting. It was kind of adventure in a movie. You would think this was the exciting part when the building burns down I could laugh about it cause all my patients got out and I got out. This is one of the best days of my life. If a patient had died or I had died to be one of the worst days of my life, so I was being more accurate than the person who said it was a catastrophe. What's the catastrophe to? They say, Oh, God, look at all the damage is a catastrophe. You could make that argument. I could also make the argument that we're getting a brand new building. We're going on the biggest shopping trip ever. Hell, I didn't like that old building. We used to joke in that old building that the the termites had a hold hands in a circle support the building, or the whole thing would have fallen down. You know, we're gonna get brand new furniture and bedding and air conditioning and big screen TVs were gonna upgrade. You know, uh, this is gonna be when the best things that ever happened I did torch the place myself if the consequences weren't so high. So again, it's a lot how you talk about it and how you perceive it. Problem becomes challenges. Everybody loves a good challenge. Everybody hates a problem. Failure becomes feedback and I'm a loser. Becomes I had a setback. I'm never a loser. I'm never losing a loser is somebody that something happens and they quit. As long as you don't quit as long as you get back up, you know, you get up one more time, you fall down your winner. You know, it's your rocky story. It's just a setback. And they're going to come and they're gonna come in regularity. Business, life, relationships, everything in life. It's all about setbacks. Two steps forward, one step back. Sometimes three steps back in one step for its Okay, there's more steps forward to be Hand Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Don't tell me about what I lost. Tell me about what I can gain tomorrow. Now, something else that creates positive change is reconnecting with positive values. Um, one. The ways that I'm motivated addicts in recovery is to look at all the things that were coming back in their life. The relationships were coming back. They could be a better parent to their kids. Their health was coming back. The jobs were coming back, the money was coming back. What can you reconnect with? What part of yourself can you reconnect with? That would be a motivator for you or a powerful. Why? One way to get in shape is to remember how you were when you were younger and say, I could be that way again. There's lots of people in their thirties forties fifties that still look is good or better than they did in their twenties. If you weren't working out, you know, looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger when you were 20 you could look much better at 30 40 50 even 60 and 70 than when you were 20. I'm 53. My body looks about the same is when I was 20 years old. Um, why? Because I work out about 10 minutes a day, but I eat so much better. So I've counted a lot of the aging, and if I wanted it to look better than that, I would work out more. But I don't want to put that much strain on my body. I don't need all that extra muscle for anything. But by connecting with those positive values, why shouldn't you age gracefully over time? be healthy, be able to contribute more, be a good role model of people. I hate to be teaching people how to lose weight and be £400. That's not happening. I hate to ask my clients to make a change that I hadn't made all these skills that I've taught you. I tried him out of myself first. There's not a single technique in here that I haven't used myself first perfected and then shared with you. I don't teach skills, you know, like an AK, um, addition that I learned in a book and shovel. Where to you? I would never do that to you. So reconnecting with all the positive things in your life, remembering how positive you are, you're good, you're kind, your loving. Connecting with those values is equally important, and this is appropriate enough. After we're talking about being good, kind and loving, caring about others, a lot of the stuff that I do in my life I don't know about you. It's about contribution. It's about caring about others. Ah, I want to make my parents proud. I wanna have money to support my parents. You know, I've got siblings that are worried, I hope. I hope there's, ah, good inheritance left cause I'm broke. When my parents die, I'm more like I wonder if I could make enough money so I could get my parents some money so they can go enjoy their remaining years. You know, I want to help them out. I want to make enough money, so I have free time to spend with them before they die. You know, um, I want to make enough money so I can have time off with my wife to hug her and cuddle her and go to the beach and have fun and play with my dogs. Um, to have time off. Um, caring about others is Why did so much studying and learning? I got paid if I was the worst therapist in the world or the best therapist in the world. When you work for a company, they pay you exactly the same. You could have a 10% recovery rate or a 90% recovery rate like I had. They paid us all the safe, but I couldn't imagine helping my clients at less of a level. I couldn't feel good about myself. I couldn't feel like I was a good, kind, caring person if I wasn't studying constantly to make sure these people had a great life and even stayed alive because I worked a lot with addicts and people had mental health issues. Death and suicide were a common occurrence except for my patients. 8. What Creates Change - Part 3: no friendships or another great one. Um, we talked about how we typically match are our closest friends, especially your best friend or two or three of your best friends. You'll be a 90% match. That's what the study show. Friendships I call influential others. So it can be anybody that's around you that's influential. They may or may not be your friend. I had professors and I had other mentors that weren't necessarily my friends, but they were influential. They were willing to teach me. They didn't have a lot of time for me. They weren't close with me, but they were very influential. So that could be a great motivator. Helps keep you accountable to adopting higher standards. I love this one. I love this quote. Nobody ever raised rises to low standards. When we talked about that glass ceiling, the glass floor, you constantly want to be very slowly increasing your standards. Moving that glass floor in that glass ceiling. Um, you never go higher or lower in your standards. You know, we had talked about that before, progressively raising your standards. What I want to tell you in this one not to go over the same concept is to expand out your standards, go laterally so you may be expanding your standards in terms of how you're doing it work. But what about your health? What about your spirituality? If you're into that type of thing? Um, your mental health. What about your financial health? What about your health of your relationships? Um here amount that you contribute to people. You can raise those standards as well, So don't get too focused in one area. Um, somebody is moving forward is also balanced. Balanced change. Your should send musts. Ah, well, look at what the slide says all your must get done. Almost none of your should is Dio Ah, If you must get to the meeting or you're gonna be fired, you're probably get to the meeting. If you think Well, I should get to the meeting. You know, I don't want to look back and be a little late or they won't care that much. I should go, but I don't have to go. You're probably gonna should on it, and you just won't go. Okay? So when you absolutely, positively feel like something must happen in this picture, wasn't just to be humorous. Don't worry. The dog was not hurt. Is not an actual picture, Photoshopped? Totally. Uh, when you absolutely gun to your head must get something done, those things get done. So everything that I have to get done, my big, important things in life I don't make him a should I make him a must? Everything else can be a should. But there's 456 things in my life that are just absolute. Must I must maintain my weight. You know, I must help other people. Um, other things could be, you know, should commitment. Commitment is when you when you make a true decision, that means you cut yourself off from any other possibility. So you pick your path and you don't look left. You don't look right. One of the ways toe build Your commitment is to tell other people I used to do a training. We would teach people of different levels of commitment. Um, I think in my head I'm gonna make this change. That's a low level of commitment. I say out loud to myself. I'm gonna make this change. That's a higher level of commitment. I tell somebody else out loud. I'm gonna make this change. That's a higher level of commitment. I tell several somebody else's. That's a higher level of commitment. You know what the highest one is kind of funny. I would have thought it was lower. I signed off. You know, you could buy a house multi $1,000,000 house. I did it with $1000 on my good credit quarter $1,000,000 apiece. I had like, five or six months thistles before the housing crash. Fortunately got in and out. Ah, flipping houses before that happened. But people are so committed to their signature, they'll let you sign off for millions of dollars because they feel if you have that level of commitment, you're actually gonna pay it off. And guess what? They weren't wrong. Winning starts with beginning. You know what I used to do? Remember I told you about the effective use of kidding yourself? Are lying to yourself a little bit. Being a little delusional isn't bad winning. I remember this quote. Winning starts with beginning and what I would do and say I had a 20 page paper. I had to get done. You know what I would dio? I would say GH 20 pages. I don't know, but I'll tell you what. I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna write a paragraph and then I might quit. I might stop. I'll feel more successful after I get the paragraph top they want to do is I'm gonna get the paragraph done and I'm gonna site Hey, Paul, do you want to another paragraph? And I might say yes, I might say no. But chances are cause I got some momentum going. It's easier to that second paragraph that it was the first. Then I asked myself, Do you want to another one? Do you want to another one? Do you want to Another one? But not until I'm done. Would you like to be a little farther ahead? A little farther ahead? What? My God, it feels so much better doing it. Little tiny chunks like that. Um, I'm almost pulled to doom. Or more sometimes a whistle right past the 20 pages. You know what I'm thinking? I'm ahead. I'm a winner. I'm done. I'm kind of giggling to myself. But all the losers that didn't get this done, I'm thinking about doing a little bit extra so I can feel amazing tomorrow that not only do I not have the guilt that I had today of being behind and having that heavy weight on my shoulders, I'm actually a little bit ahead tomorrow. Then I'll ask myself. I wonder a little more. Sometimes I'll do an extra 5 10 pages, maybe 20 pages. You know why? Because I may want take tomorrow off is a reward for being this good. Damn, I'm good. Here's a guy and I'm a lazy guy. I got a trick myself a little bit cause I tell you I'm the hardest working lazy guy you ever met. But I am really good at using these techniques that I'm teaching you to make myself very ambitious. I mean, my ultimate goal is to make a bunch of money so I can sit on the next exotic beach. I'm that guy who's climbing up on the rock and the guy who smoking dope in his parents basement. I'm both of those people, you know. Half my brain wants to get out there, kick but make a $1,000,000 change the world and help the whole human race. The other half just wants to lie on the couch, have a cup of ice cream and some popcorn and watch my shows never move. Move Very little. Matter of fact, if my back is stiff from lying, there were sitting there. I want somebody come by and rub it for me. So how do I get myself motivated using these tools in? There's an old quote. I don't have it appear, but it says once you start something, it's half finished. It's the other one that remember, with winning starts with beginning. Once you start, something is half done. So I know if I even put the title on that paper. If I even fired up the computer and I started it, Ah, I got the ball rolling mo mentum Chungking. We talked a little bit about this earlier. My instructor with Chunk everything down to smaller pieces. This is a learning system in a motivational system. Two ways I chunk the paper down into a paragraph at a time. All of sudden, I could lift it. You know, I can put £500 over my head. Do you believe me? Absolutely. I got to do it £25 at a time, but I can lift £500 total. You just got to break it down to smaller pieces for no problem. I can do it all one day. Now, this is also a motivational system to cause We're doing motivation here, So not only is it more doable, more fun. You're gonna feel more successful. Say you did it like the rectangle on the far left. If you did that one chunk, you got to this whole thing. And maybe this takes you like five hours, five hours struggling, struggling, struggling pain, pain, pain, pain, pain get more tired than you, who, five hours later it's done. And you feel good because you made one accomplishment in about 15 minutes later, you can't feel that anymore. It's kind of God, and off you go. If you did chunked it down, you too relaxed. Three times in between, you had a short respite. You'd have felt like you achieve four things instead of one. You never would have got worn out. And you never would look at this huge pile this huge weight, you know, to use an analogy and have felt like you were gonna be crushed under like, Oh, that's like that simple. I could do that. That's why Did the paragraph it time? Oh, my God. I'll sit down with a wine cooler and I can dribble out, you know, paragraph at a time. I could do two or three hours at a time. Pretty soon I'm not. And like, one paragraph I'm gonna do three. Did it? Do I take the dog for a walk? I refresh myself and come back. I do another page or to take the dog out for a walk, Have a tasty beverage. Go hug the wife, have a Snickers bar. Have to do something fun that I want to come back. Couple minutes later, just little break in between to the next chunk. Next chunk. Next chunk. Easy. Me sitting there for five hours, trying to stay motivated. I'm pretty good at motivation. But, man, I'll get it done, But I ain't gonna like it. Next one. I always did this. That's why I got the books in the CDs down there. These are my favorites. I'm gonna go kind of circulate clockwise starting the upper left hand corner. Jim Rohn. Ah, great great speaker. He did the art of exceptional living. You've got to get that Siri's. You could probably go peer to peer sharing and get it, or you can get over it. Nightingale Conant. Maybe I'll leave you a link for that. Um, less brown. He lives down the street here for me in Tampa. Isn't that funny? I fell in love with this guy with a PBS special. He did one of the best speakers around. Um, and he was from Tampa. Said, If only I could get him to come in New Hampshire and speak, and I live right down the road from actually met him at a couple of different trainings when I was working for a speaking company, Um, Brian Tracy, I also met. He was at one of our speaking events. He's the number two speaker in the country. I believe is, at least in the top three. It depends. They always go up and down. Anthony Robbins, a number one with a bullet. He makes as much as the next 10 speakers put together. That's how much he makes. Um, and his company's upset him because he could be generating all these products and tapes and CDs because that's where 90% of the income comes from the other 10% of every dollar that he makes comes from these training events, and he just does training, event training, event training event Because he loves the personal connection with people. He no longer cares about the money. When he cared about the money, he pushed out a bunch of products and in a bunch of training. So he had it coming in from two ends. But now he hardly ever does any product. It's a rare T. I remember one time you want, like, 10 years, and he didn't publish anything. This is a real go getter, but he loves that personal connection. So to stay motivated, you guys stick with the motivator. So always listening to this motivational material, I'll read a couple pages, have a motivational book when I'm doing that. Chungking. Previously, if I get a little bit bored, I'll take a break and I'll go for a walk. If that doesn't work, then I'll read something little motivational or listen to something little motivation. Or I'll think of motivational thought, you know? Hey, did those 1st 2 chunks. Now we're gonna go back, we're gonna kick. But in the 3rd 1 I just want to tell you, Paul, you did a good job. I mean, when we started this thing, you know, I didn't think you're gonna do the first Broady, man. Kudos. So get motivated. Stay motivated and motivational speakers on the best way to do it. And I'll tell you, a lot of people don't think too much about motivational speakers. They got a bad name back in, like, the seventies where there was a lot of people. They were kind of flaky. Then I'll tell you, people like Brian Tracy and Zig Ziglar and Jim Rome, they came around and, uh oh, I'm sorry. That Zig Ziglar. Not Jim Rohn God, they look almost identical. Um, in the upper left hand corner. Loves executives. The first motivational speaker I ever heard. Ah, great. Great guy. He passed recently. Nice. Nice guy. He had a stroke. He kept going out there. He had a couple of strokes. He kept going out there. He didn't quit until he died. Literally. He probably died on stage. I don't know. Uh, he got up there if he thought he was gonna die because he'd say, What a way to go. I mean, he He walked the talk, you know he lived it. But these guys thes guys air just amazing. And they really kept me going for many, many years, and they're very sincere. And since these guys came around, if your stuff isn't like 90 95% good from cover to cover from start to finish through the entire presentation through the entire book, through the entire course, somebody will come by who is willing to put in that extra amount and have really stuff that really works because these guys don't survive because they fooled you once where they had a halfway decent technique. These guys make the real money and actually stay in the field because, uh, there consistently good high top quality, like you'll be impressed to be amazed. Go out there and get some of it. That's why I have such a huge library. I started one Anthony Robbins book that I was too cheap to buy. It was a dollar. I think I was in Arizona at the time, so I had to pay, like in dollar eight tax. I'm still green that eight cents. Um and I just loved it. I turned the page It was great. I turned the page and it was great. I turned the page. It was great. I just graduated from college. My 1st 40 degree. I said, I never want to read another damn book in my life, but I'm motivated myself to read this one. You know how I did it? I told myself a lie. I said, Paul, you do want to read this book. You know why? Because look how many books they made you read in college. And most of them in the 80 to 85% tile, were absolute pure rubbish in just a waste of my time in just an exercise. Now you can read anything you want, Paul. Nobody can tell you what you're going to read. And you on Leigh read good stuff and he read as much as you want for as little as you want . And I told myself my usual life. I'm just going to read a page or two a day, you know? And I can skip days or weeks if I want. I don't care. I'm not in school anymore. I don't have to do it. This is for pleasure. Only if it's not pleasurable. I'm gonna use it for a doorstop. I'm in New Hampshire. I'll roll it up into a ball and tell myself it's a log and burn it in my wood stove. But I loved it. It was great. From cover to cover. Awaken the giant within. If I think of it, I'll leave the link in the supplemental stuff get you so you get the cheapest price on it. Another thing that creates change cutting through your old illusions. Remember, you live in that virtual reality. Remember, I said, most of reality isn't true that you believe most of what you believe about yourself isn't true. This is one of things that I learned working with patients. The reason they're so sick isn't because there's actually anything wrong with him. Most these people that were quote unquote and do the air quotes thing is, ah, mentally ill weren't mentally ill at all. Their thinking was mentally ill, A lot like yours and mine. They didn't hold themselves in high enough esteem. They told themselves negative stories or they thought their old negative story was gonna go on forever. And that was a lie. They thought they weren't good enough I look at him and I say, Who the hell told you weren't good enough? And why the hell do you listen to all? And the worst part is why the hell do you listen to him? I'm gonna tell you some. You're great. And I'll tell you another thing. I think you're great, and I'm right. And you don't think you're great and you're wrong. You better pray I'm right. And they said, Oh, yeah. Hit Mr. Paul. You're a pretty smart guy. Yeah, I hope you're right to I said, don't hope No, it feel it. Understand it. I'm gonna prove to you that I'm right. Hell, you're gonna prove to you that you're right. And I'll tell you within a week or two. They said, Mr Paul, you were right. I'm not a bad guy, You know. I'm not a bad person. Get good. I'm a sick person getting better, you know? And I didn't create this sickness. It's just mind a handle. I didn't create these mental problems I was giving him. I was tortured in my life and I'm not a victim. I'm a survivor and I'm not defected person, you know, getting better. I'm not just a person that's healing. When I heal, I'm gonna be stronger. Never. You break a bone, it heal stronger. These people were stronger when they left than the average so called normal person who had never had a mental health issue. Hell, I didn't want a discharge, but they weren't stronger in a normal person, cause I said, life will crack him again. Most normal people, life will crack. Do you know what 25% of people are mentally ill at any given time? Those are just the ones that air diagnosable and not everything's diagnosable. If you're a pain in the butt, that will ruin your life. But it's not a diagnosis If you're annoying, that's not a diagnosis, but a ruin your life. Your life's already over it. Should it should be treated like a mental disorder. It is in my book, I wrote in the margins. So cutting through your own illusions, how is it that you are stopping you from moving forward? How do you make you feel bad about you? That's got to be an illusion. I can explain scientifically and easily why anybody else we pick on you. I can't explain how why you would pick on you. I can be very complicated. It takes some serious mental gymnastics to flip around and twist around to get to the place where you crap on you. But everybody does it. Every person I ever know in some way, shape or form has these old illusions, and their life is less livable because of it. Get rid of it. So I used the analogy of releasing the brakes was actually a great book. Maybe I'll leave a link to that, too. It's called Release Your Brakes. Oh God, this book was from like the thirties or fifties. I think it was. I want to see 1954 great great books. There's no new fundamentals. It's is true today's that ever waas the rare book. Most people don't know about it, but you'll read. This book will be another page turn. You'll be like, Oh my God, that is me. I could be so much more I'm holding myself back. So they used the analogy of releasing your breaks in that book, literally called Release your brakes. Uh, like you're a Porsche and you could be going a buck 20 down the highway and you're doing 30 . And your friends were doing 60. And you're thinking there's so much better than me why aren't as good as them And the it's all these negative limiting self beliefs that air putting the brakes on, take the brakes off you always right past all those people. You are actually so much more than they are. You had it exactly the opposite. You had it wrong. So what are the classic things you have to remove? Self doubt Can't move forward in doubt. We like safety. We don't move towards things we think aren't gonna happen there that we doubt minute you move self doubt, you're free to make it all happen and you'll be massively successful. Self hate. That's that self recrimination that we just talked about self defeating thoughts we actually just talked about after a fashion and limiting beliefs, things that you think that you can't dio that you can dio um, on my structure was teach me the martial arts. You know what the whole system was? It was removing what you thought was possible. So whatever you thought was impossible, uh, we would the instructor would do it, so he take Paul, drop down and give me as many pushups as you can. And I dropped down. I give about 15 push ups and then I was sweating and shaking. And maybe I could do 17 that I just about fell on my face and he said, Well, I could tell by look in your face, you're sincere. That's probably all you can dio. Then you know what he did. He dropped out on the floor and he said, Hey, Paul, count for me and I tried to count. I don't know if I kept a good an accurate count because he was doing 50 push ups so fast I could barely count up. What do the university that had delivered their report, please. Oh, my God. Now I knew that a human being could do 50 pushups and better and faster and harder than ever thought humanly possible. So I said, Oh, I guess it's doable, he said. Here, Paul, amazing things gonna happen here, I want you to know is how to get rid this limiting belief that you can only do like 17 maybe 20 tops A. You see another human being to 50 be notice something interesting do drop down and give me 15 push ups. I gave him 15 push ups. He said Okay, rest up for a second. Get your breath. Good man. There you go. Dropped out and give me five more. I gave five more. How did 15 become 20? It's a damn miracle. It's like the loaves and the fishes. How do some rest do some rest? Do some rest. It's the same way I lifted the £500 over my head. Remember that? That was impressive. Good times. Good times, right? We'll always have that. Pretty. So I could do 20 in a row. 25 30 35 50. And when I got the 50 I was so strange. I said, Man, this has gotta be the most push ups a human being has ever done. This is over 2.5 times what I was doing before. This is a damn miracle. Thank you, David. You've got to be the best martial arts. The best martial arts instructor. There's ever been in the history of all martial arts. And you said, What are you talking about? He said, Well, I said, Well, now I could do the 50 push ups. I'm a great martial artist like you. And he said, Oh, no, Paul, you'd understand. He said, I'm gonna show you a trick and he said, Count for me And he dropped on the ground. Son of a gun. He did 100 push ups, fastest like faster. And I can't. And I said, Oh, no, because I knew what was going to say next. I think you do, too. I end up having to do 100 push ups. Yes. What happened next? When I got up to the 100 push ups, Do you know how many pushups my kung fu instructor could dio? He would do them in sets of 500. That's how he could lift the weight over his head. I don't think he could do more than 500 out of whack, but then he could rest up a few minutes and do a few 100 more in a few 100 more than a few 100 more in a few 100 more. I don't know what his ultimate was, but I know he could do a minimum of 500 out of whack. I remember my friend Andy. He was a little bit ahead of me in the class. And he bet one of his buddies in the military, uh, that he couldn't do 500 pushups and he had trained with David and he said, Man, I got pretty close at one time any any drop down. And he did 474 push ups, and then he just collapsed. He couldn't do anymore. The guy said, Damn it, I've never seen anything like that. 50 bucks assures you more than earned. You won that bet, even though they lost share, mental effort, the ability not to quit. That's what every Olympic athlete has there truly motivated. They don't quit. They do not have physiological superiority. They have the willingness not to quit. And they understand this trick that might come through. Instructor taught me and that you now have the power of habits. Habits are about one of the most powerful things you can never have, because literally, what are you as a human being? You're literally a Siris of habits, and once you have a habit, it basically works unconsciously. Let me share something with you to kind of drive this home, and I'll try to remember to put this in the in your care package. All your extra resource is, um I'm going to read you something and you just kind of listen along and you tell me what you think and just kind of think your thoughts as you're going through it, is the reading them and leave for in the resource section. I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do. You might as well turn them over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly . I am easily managed. You must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done. And after a few lessons, I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great men and, alas, of all great failures as well those who are great. I have made great those who were failures. I have made failures. I am not a machine. Though I worked with all the precision of machine plus the intelligence of a man you may run me for profit or run me for ruin. It makes no difference to me. Take me. Trained me. Be firm with me and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you. Who am I? I am having that's by unknown. That guy An anonymous. Those two guys, they right all the best stuff. Excellent. Excellent Tells you about the power of habits. Once you create something and you hold the habit for you do the task. You do the thing that you want to dio and you do it for about 20 to 30 days, depending on who you like in the literature, some people tell you that loads seven days, you know, maybe with intensity and emotion. It probably is, Uh and then this thing will run on autopilot. They'll be resistance to not doing this thing, you know? And we all go through this When you were a kid, it was a nightmare. Trying to get you nowhere close. But I'm thinking most you out there aren't watching this naked and I can't be sure. Okay, But you probably wear clothes on a regular basis. You probably do things that I couldn't get you do when you're a kid. Your parents couldn't get you dio like, brush your teeth or comb your hair, you know? Ah, I'm looking around my office. Maybe I still can't clean my room, but should have developed better habits when I was kid. Right, So, like they said works for your, uh, benefit or works to your ruin. Once you do it and you lock it in for those 20 to 30 days, it becomes a habit. And there's actually resistance to not doing it Wouldn't be hard for me to get you to walk out the door naked. Okay. Wouldn't it be hard for me to get you to walk out the door and even not shower? You wouldn't feel right. You know, you'd want a shower as opposed to when your kid and you didn't want a shower. That's not because you're smart and you know better. Just doesn't feel right. A good chunk of that is truly habits. Anything with brushing your teeth. You know, I don't feel right for a walk out the door to brush my teeth. I'm like, damn! So give me a piece of gum fast. I don't feel right and I want to spare you utilizing values and belief systems. Absolutely key. Um, look at how both in yourself and others you can take the values and beliefs of yourself or somebody else and use it as leverage. Like I said, I'm a martial artist, so I have to maintain a certain weight. I don't wanna be one. These Roli poli old fat martial artists who used to be great. You know, I wish you knew Mr Paul back in the day when he was good, uh, hate anybody to say that about me. Same reason I always keep learning. I hate I hate to have one of you guys putting the recommendation. Say, Jesus, this was terrible. You should have heard Mr Paul 10 years ago when he was really good a teacher. Matter of fact, I don't want to hear one from you guys 10 years from now. Say, I had a class with Mr Paul 10 years ago, and it was pretty good, but the one I just had blew me away. Okay, so these are the types of beliefs and values uses leverage. Um, got imagine most you don't steal. Why? Because the value it's a belief system. You have it so ingrained. It's one of your musts, not a should. It's a should. Then you probably steal at least office supplies, right? Cheat on your taxes. That's because these values these beliefs or should. If it's a must, you never, ever, ever do it. Okay, so try to figure out what you have in your life. That's a must that you can use is a leverage in a slightly different area like you see yourself is intelligent, but you smoke. See the mismatch. You can't both be intelligent and smoke. Use that as leverage to stop yourself from smoking, you can consider yourself truly intelligent and be wildly overweight where you're gonna die , you know, unless you're just willing to go early. That cake was that good. Uh, and be that heavy. So you start using is a motivation to start tapering your weight down so you match your self image. You're using leverage, your kind of creating pain and pleasure for yourself, paying to get you to move and then, of course, give you some pleasure credit for your good success as you do it. Not when you hit the goal, but along the way. Chungking. See how these techniques are coming together to be more powerful. These air leverage so used the pain and the pleasure and the values and the beliefs used. The Chungking use the self images all these techniques together. Perfect. Now you're getting it. 9. How Can We Influence Others?: so kind of wrapping up here. How can we be more influential with others? So I want to give you a few strategy and techniques. I can't do a whole course, because that would be a whole course, Uh, how we can work specifically with others. You also see some of these are pretty good for yourself too, because these air basically tools of influence. I love this little kind of cartoon thing that I made up here with different a Texan things how to be more influential. Ah, this is literally the gun to the head technique. So the cats holding the gun to the duck's head and the other ducks tryingto, you know, encourage them to go along with it. So there's little bit of peer pressure going on there, a lot of different kinds of leverage. So you gotta must there, Right? We recognize that you got the peer support. We recognize that. Yeah, these thes air. This this section is going to be about tools of influence. I've actually got entire course about tools for influence. Another shameless plug. But again, if you're gonna be effective both influencing yourself to make change and influencing other people to make changes. This is great for sales. This is great on selling yourself on the idea. Getting better. This is great on the idea of ah, uh, selling your kids on doing better in life. If you're a parent, your salesman need tools of influence. You got to sell people on these little kids like we talked about on wearing their clothes, brushing their teeth, going to bed, getting good grades. You got to sell him on everything. If you don't have these tools of influence, I swear, I swear you are unarmed and you don't even know it. It's amazing you made us well, as you haven't you even survived without these tools. I don't how anybody gets by without these tools. It just shocks me. Um, it's that analogy again. They're going through life with the brakes on. They don't know it because they don't have the simplest basic tools of how to influence themselves and others. That's insane. I don't know how we get through school, even high school or even grammar school without having learned these. But somehow we dio so driving on, let's learn something specific things like ability. I'm a therapist and I'll tell you, uh, car cough did a study back in the eighties. I believe it was. And I said 75% of why a client or patient gets better is because they like their therapist . They will do things for their therapists that they won't even do for themselves. I would be working with addicts. They had just gotten out of jail or they're trying to stay out of jail. They're on probation. And I say, Hey, you got to get to an A A meeting, you know, it's party approbation. They're gonna throw your butt in jail, and or even worse, you might get drunk and hop in your car and kill somebody. You know, if you got a car, you still can drive and they're like, Yeah, yeah, I might get to a meeting blah, blah, blah. But, you know, I really don't think so. And they usually don't unless what? Unless they liked me. If I said, you know, I'm gonna feel like I'm a horrible therapist if you don't go. You know, I remember one time I had a patient and they didn't go to a meeting. Then they got in their car and they drove and they died. I cried about that. I'm worried you're gonna be the next patient that I shed a tear over. And if they like you and they don't want you to feel bad, the go. If they want to make you proud, they will go. If they just don't want to disappoint you, they will go. Some people will go just using you as an excuse. They don't when clients come in, sometimes they don't like themselves enough to do things for themselves. When we said this is likability, when I would have ah, you know, clients and mental patients come in. And addicts, they didn't like themselves enough to do anything. That's part of why they were constantly screwing themselves. They hated themselves. What do you do to people You hate you screw you don't do anything nice for him, but going to a meeting, getting their life back in money and finances and their kids back and, uh, getting off probation and having a nice job and driving a nice car. Didn't feel like they deserve that yet, but they would do these things that we're gonna lead there for me. So likability is huge. If you want to be influential with somebody? I'm gonna give me the three things they gotta know. Yah, like you and trust. You know, you like you, like you is the big one. Likability is huge. So you gotta like yourself enough to do things. And people have to like you if you're gonna influence them. It's too for similar traits. We like people who are like us. Um, were always more comfortable with people that are like us. And that could be a lot of different similar traits. Saying the same or similar height, same or similar weight, Uh, same or similar dress. You can see this guy's dressing, you know, five different ways. He probably likes the guy in the vest better than he likes the guy in the, uh, button down shirt Better. And he likes the guy in the wife beater Share T shirt. OK, why more similar? You know, you fall in love with some guys where it walks in with a nice suit. He's got all three pieces, but it could be a lot of things. People are talking the same pace that we dio similar intellectual level. Ah, a lot of different things so we all a similar interests are another big thing. So people that like to do the same things talk about the same things, go with same places, ive the same places like the same kinds of food, all these types of things. I remember I had a boss once and it was kind of hard to get close to him, and he was always busy and he was a little standoffish. But the people that got close to him, where a couple other councillors and they were his golfing buddy, so they would always be going on golf trips. Are you talking about golf in the hallways or kidding each other about golf? And, you know, they give each other, you know, funny little golf things or golf calendars, you know, for Christmas and stuff like that. And I felt like I don't play golf and, you know, golf looks like it might be a fun game, but I don't really play it. Of course I'm too cheap to spend the money. Um, so how am I going to get in on there? I can't see. Oh, yeah, I'll go golfing, too, because I don't know how to play And then I thought about it for him. And I said, Don't people like a sensor contribution? Don't they like to feel superior to other people? I said, I'll let him feel superiors. Hell, I'll be the idiot. They can train me. They can mentor me. They could bring me along and on a golf trip and I'll be the fun guy. I'll be the mascot, uh, that they get to show off how good they are. This they'll finally feel really good about their golf game. Because if you didn't before after you see me play, you'll feel fantastic. So even though I wasn't similar to them, we had nothing really in common that I could find. I made something in common by using that one little strategy. So that's why I always kind of bring this up and use this technique. Similar beliefs. Um, our belief system is very important. So some people be friends and you say, why one skinny ones, fat ones, tall ones, short ones. Funny, once quiet. Why do they come together? Paul said it was about similarity. Well, it can be, but it's also about similar beliefs. They like the same things they believe the same things. They have the same. You know, maybe spirituals values political values. They think alike. They believe the same things. The same things are important to them. They like to focus on the same things again. We like people who are like us. Great, great tool of influence. And remember, you can use those beliefs to what influence them. Remember, the biggest influence tool is getting someone coordinated with you that they know you like , you trust you. After that, you come up with your own techniques for how to influence people. And we've given you quite a few here because motivating somebody is what you influence them . You got him to do something and we said it was changed. What? His influence. It's a certain way now. I want to influence it to be a different way. That's changed. So you know the strategies now you just have to have what they call report, matching and mirroring kind of our last piece here, Um, you can coordinate with somebody, be more like them just by shifting the way that you do things a little bit. You don't want to be matching and mirroring in terms of monkey. See Monkey. Do I love this slide, don't you? With the cow with the tough? That's awesome, uh, doing similar things and nearing each other. Um, you can do it in certain areas. So if a person sits a certain way like they like to sit there and you know, they lean to one side and they got their hand on their chin, I won't do the exact same thing, you know? But I'll do something similar. Maybe I put my hand on my face, you know, they fold their arms. I crossed my arms. It's it's an approximation. I'm listening for their speech. If I talk a little faster and they talk a little slower, I'm not gonna be artificial. I'm not gonna go all the way down to their speed, but I'll kick it down a notch. I can slow it down a little bit. If I'm talking a little higher, I could talk a little deeper. Just little adjustments, trying to meet in the middle a little bit so you could do with mannerisms. You could do with pace. I tend to be more fast paced, but when I was slower people, I do a little bit slower, and this is a natural thing. This isn't an artificial thing. I just want you to think about it. And as you think about it, at first, it will be a technique. Later, it'll be second nature, and you know what kind already is. People that are good friends will start toe average out each other. If one talks a little faster and one talks a little slower, slower, one will actually start talking a little faster. The faster talking one will tend to start talking. Little slower happens over and over and over again. The research. It's rare that it doesn't happen. That's why they become in sync. They'll say Couples, old married couple start looking like each other. Why? Because they start doing this. Do you know there was a study? If you put two clocks together, you'll get a sympathetic harmony because they'll actually start swinging together in rhythm , even though they weren't before you pluck one piano key or one guitar string, the ones around it will start sympathetically, uh, coming in tune with it and vibrating at the same frequency, even though they're not making a sound. They had women that were roommates and they did a study and they said they're periods will sync up even though they didn't know when the other person's period waas synchronicity is just a weird thing. It's It's not. It's it's an actual science to it. We're still trying to figure out exactly why it works, and I'm not gonna get into that. But people sync up with each other. It's a natural thing, so I don't think this is an unnatural technique. Okay, big finish, final strategy. Another shameless plug. Go to my training on persuasion strategies. It's awesome. We talked about that earlier. Uh, to get anywhere in life, you have to be able, persuade yourself, persuade other people and feel good about doing it, Moving everybody towards the positive. If I couldn't persuade people I wouldn't be able to teach you, I wouldn't be able to get you to use these strategies. And I would been completely useless as a therapist. As a martial arts instructor, as a sudden as a brother, as a friend and as a husband, we have to have good persuasion. I want to thank you guys has been an actual actual honor and a pleasure to be working with you here today. You guys have been fantastic. Uh, my company has advanced ideas, Inc. Um, that's me and my buddy JJ there. Please leave a comment for me and please leave me a positive rating. That would be awesome. I will. Thank you. And JJ will. Thank you. Appreciate you. Taking this course helps put a little kibble in the bowl for JJ. If you have any questions for me, go ahead and, uh, message me, and I'll certainly respond back as quickly as I can. Thanks so much. And I'll see you in the next course. 10. BONUS - Focus Management: Hey, everybody. Professor Paul here. We've got an amazing training here for you today. We're gonna do a training that's going to change your life. Are you ready? Is that two biggest statement? No, it's too small a statement. This is huge. As Bernie Sanders would say, If you can master this, you will have one of the keys to mastering life. So we're gonna teach you focused management and focus Management is gonna teach you how to be more motivated and also how to deal with some of the challenges in life and be able to manage your emotions as well as the rest of your life. Because if you think about it, we're thinking and emotional creatures most of us can handle the thinking part were fairly intelligent, right? But the emotional part is a mystery and psychology. They say emotions of things that you have the most of but know how to deal with the least. You never trained. It's not your fault. So today we're going to train you, and you two will have motivational and emotional mastery. Fantastic. So if you're motivated, let's get started. Okay. Let's look at how focused management works. Let's start with the work focus. What is focus? Focus is a very simple thing. It's simply where you choose to direct your attention. You look here, Look here, you here where you looking? Depending upon where you look, you see different things and things look different. So we're gonna teach you how to use that strategy to improve your life and improve your motivation. So management is simply the ability to manage control. You're focus where you choose to look Now out in the world. There's a lot of positive things that are motivating and there's a lot of negative things. They're known as de motivators. They remove motivation. So what your brain does is it goes out and does something called scanning. It scans the environment. Now most people are somewhat negative. It's not their fault again. We are hard wired to be negative. So if your little negative sometimes like jeez, I wish I could be more positive you were born that way. But through these techniques, you could supersede that programming. That's the fantastic part. So here's why people are programmed to be negative. You have two things that can happen in your life. Negative things in positive things, but from a survival perspective from a evolutionary perspective, which one positive things or negative things is more important to your survival. Okay, I'm over here and I've got something hidden here and I'm gonna come running at you. You don't have much time now. What you gonna dio? What is it, Maurin Important to figure out what I'm running at You with, uh, say a present, you know, dangerous. Those could be right. Or a knife. Audience participation. I'm thinking the knife e. You gotta figure out if I got a knife. That's why your brain, whenever it sees something negative, it's world. It immediately goes to the negative. You see something positive? It goes your brain. We'll go like 10 to 1 towards the negative. Why survival you are hardwired that way. Now you can supersede it. We're gonna teach you how, But here's how you do it. Okay? So when normally people are scanning the environment, they go like this, find all the negative stuff, they do a secondary weaker scan and they find all the positive stuff. Now the negative stuff feels like it's like this, and the positive stuff feels like it's like this so when they weigh it out emotionally, it seems like there's more negative and like than positive in life. I try to kid themselves to manipulate and try to boost the positive and reduce the negative . And that's good. That's healthy. You should do that. But understand, it's about half of Yeah, okay. You look at it every day. You have to stop that. What? I was crapping and it was great. Uh, that's what's true. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna do focus management. We're gonna shift how we focus up things. So let's assume that everything negative is a problem, and everything positive is a solution. So we're gonna look at the same diagram. We got a bunch of negative stuff in a bunch of positive stuff, and we're simply going to scan for the things that will motivate us and make us feel fantastic. So that's all the positives. We're gonna filter these in, and we're gonna filter these out matter of fact, if we see him, But he wasn't focused management. When we do see him, we're going to transmute. We're gonna turn a negative into a positive like, uh, when you blow a tire. Okay, you say? Well, that's okay, because great time tires are on sale. Thank God I didn't die in the accident. Okay, I get the opportunity to be able to go out and buy tires, Okay? As opposed with prosthetic leg. Okay, This is actually a positive thing. Not a negative thing. Okay, somebody out there was looking over me. Okay? Life is good. This is not a negative thing. That's the worst thing that happens in the entire year. Wow. What a great year. This is how you shifted around. So we constantly want to focus on the things that help us not hurt us. So this is one way to do it. Here's another way. If you focus man myself a little bit swinging room here, there's two things in life. Life is defined as a series of problems. You're going to have problems. You are also going to have solutions. There are very few problems in your life that you haven't solved. You say Paul, you don't know me. You gotta be kidding me. I got, like, a 1,000,000 problems. No, you don't. I can probably cut cover all your major problems on one hand because you have five major props. If you saw those, you wouldn't have any. Do you know how many problems you've had in your life? I'm thinking, like, somewhere around the order of 2.5 million and you say, Oh, my God. I got all these problems in my life. No, You down in the last five and I'm gonna teach you how to crush, though, so keep watching the videos. Shameless plug. Okay, Two things you could focus up. Here's how people typically use manage their focus. And they wonder why they're horribly depressed. Anxious demotivated kink in the energy up. What they do is they spend about 95% of their time focusing on the problem in about 5% of time, focusing on the solution. This is the exact formula to feel horrible. I will make a boo boo face down here. Oh, no, just terrible. Here's what intelligent people dio that actually solve the problems, solve them faster and feel fantastic about doing it. They do Look at the problem. They're not try to be Paulina. They spend 5% of time defining the problem. Okay, getting a good, clear picture of how what this looks like in all the facets for only one purpose and one purpose only to solve it. Then they spend 95% of time in a solution, which means they're going to get this done like 100 times faster than the people that are using this system, and then they're gonna feel great. This is what focused management can do for you. It's about what you focus up. You know, they teach this in a in A When I stopped focusing on the problem and I started focusing on the solution, problem disappears. Now you feel fantastic in a they teach, you could focus on the things that are negative in your life that bring you down that drain your energy that make you feel horrible. I don't know why you would ever do that to yourself, but very popular. Or you could focus on the things that are wonderful in your life. Or if you don't have that many wonderful things, you can focus on the things that you're grateful for. Look at all the things that happened to me. But I'm still in one piece. I still got my health. I still gotta leave one good friend. Okay. I ever need a free meal. I need to borrow their car. I got one good friend. Uh, that's a good day. So they focus on the things and make a list of things that are great in their life. And they focus on that and they let the other things go. So when you got a choice between look at the positive and look at the negative, you're not being Polly Anna. You just looking more at the positive you're looking at these things is a resource the negative. As you go through those, those air simply challenges to be checked off your list. I make a list of all the negative things in my life. 123 And all they do is start knocking him off. I do not have to get emotional. I do not have to get upset is long as I can manage my focus. Here's the last part of focus management. Then I'll let you go. But wait, there's more. Okay. So get focused. Management is about where you direct your attention. So we're going to look at edit this part out because I can't remember what the hell I was gonna teach you. Okay? So when I focus on something in my life, how am I doing it? And I want to look at the past present predicament the past present predicted is Here's the past. Here's the now Here's the future past present predicament. It's actually past present. Future predicament is that we spend about 60% of our time to maybe 40% of our time to put upon how you weigh it out. Um, thinking about the past about, uh, 39 to what would it be? 16. 40 40? That would be, say, 59% of our time thinking about the future. Here's the only 1% of our time. I think about that. Now, here's the channel. This is the only place you live, but you're not. What? You're not focused on it right now. There's nothing horrible happening. You see me in front of camera. This is me and my fire. No, that's a good day. Okay, Nothing. God awful is happening to me in the now things may happen to me that a negative in the future they may have been negative things that happen in the past, but right now it's fantastic. So if I focus on the now, I feel fantastic. That's a solution. Here's another solution. Stop focusing on the past in the future. Here's why. Where does regret live in the future? No. In the now know in the past, when I go into the past I literally digging up regret, focusing on all the bad things that happen in my life focusing on him bad focus, management. I wanna go the future. Where does anxiety and worry and fear lift? It lives in the future. So this is all about fear. False evidence appearing riel. Okay, because you're making it up. The future hasn't happened yet. You're not Steven Spielberg. You don't know what's gonna happen in the future. That's Stephen now. Yeah, you know, call him. Okay, So when I focus on the future, I fear when I focus on the past I have regret Is that too horrible areas? And this is bad focused management to do You know why you're brave, Actually has the ability to think forward and focus on the future or to remember back to go back through time and say, Oh, here's what happened in the past. It's to draw forth the positive from both, but we tend to take the negative. That is really bad focused management. So what you're actually supposed to be grabbing from the past is not paying in regret to know. My God, I can't believe I did that. I screwed up. It's No. Here's some positive things that happened in my past. I can feel fantastic about make me feel better right now. And here is some information that will help me to solve my problems of today. It's a resource, not a regret, a resource. This is the proper use of your brain and the proper use of what? Your focus. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, You're not supposed to look into the future and fear things and feel bad about all these horrible things that could happen and have this massive anxiety attack. You're supposed to look into the future and you get to fix. You can see wonderful, positive things happening in the future. Your subconscious loves its it. Try to create what you visualize in your mind over and over again. If you visualize, this should probably get it. Visualize this. She'll probably get use positive focus management. So that's Step one How you can use the future. Now, this is supposed to help you to plan. Haven't even what? More positive future? You better things can happen to you if you focus on that. Use your brain that way. Positive. Here. Positive here. Pulling all of these things into the now Then you're gonna feel what great We love to feel great. My best way. The tiger impersonation. Love cornflakes. You could feel great. That's how you use focused management. This is how you get ahead in life. This is how you can feel. Fantastic Notice when you're doing this and when you're not doing this notice when you're using the right formulas, take a picture of this. Take a screenshot. And when you're using the wrong formula, focus management is being used by everybody. You just didn't know what the hell it was called. You can use it for you or against you just like a hammer. The hammer is a tool. This is a tool. Hammer doesn't care if you bang yourself over the head with it or build a house of your dreams. My name's Professor Paul. You've been a fantastic audience. Thanks so much. And I'll see you in the next video