Mental Habits of Peaceful People | Ellie Shoja | Skillshare

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
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Lessons in This Class

5 Lessons (26m)
    • 1. PeacefulHabits Part1

    • 2. PeacefulHabits Part2

    • 3. PeacefulHabits Part3

    • 4. PeacefulHabits Part4

    • 5. PeacefulHabits Part5

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About This Class

In this 5-piece mini-series, I explore some of the mental habits of peaceful people so we can incorporate these habits into our own lives and attain internal peace. 

Meet Your Teacher

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Ellie Shoja

Mindfulness Coach, Transformation Expert


Ellie Shoja is an award-winning Writer, Motivational Speaker, Mindfulness Coach, and Podcast Host.

She is the founder of Peace Unleashed, a personal transformation company that focuses on helping individuals and groups level up holistically. The Peace Unleashed philosophy is rooted in the understanding that teams are more efficient and companies more productive when individual members attain a level of internal peace and groundedness that remains unshaken by life events.

She is also the host of the Unleash Your Peace Podcast, a weekly podcast that demystifies a different aspect of the internal world through five short consecutive episodes published Monday through Friday. 

Her Peace Unleashed Instagram Account is dedicated to sharing daily love notes that uplift... See full profile

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1. PeacefulHabits Part1: hello and welcome to day one off mental habits off peaceful people where we explore how peaceful people think so that we can adopt those thought processes and find more peace within ourselves as well. Now on they want Today I want to get really basic and fundamental. I want to talk about how peaceful people see kind of the events that happened within them that take them away from being peaceful, having their internal peace, and that actually goes back to the way peaceful people think and interact with the peace that is inside of them. Now for us, a lot of us chase peace outside of us. We think this peaceful state of being is something we have to attain and somehow find in the world and bring inward. There's techniques and things like that that we need to master in order to find peace. But people who actually have inner peace no, that peace is not outside of them. It actually is inside of them. And here's the other really big insight. What that peaceful people understand is that when there is something not peaceful present within them, like anger and frustration, their peace has not actually gone away. Their peace resides underneath all of that stuff. Now, to understand this, think of it this way. When there is an actual rain storm or their snow or there is a tornado or clouds or fog or anything like that, the sun doesn't actually go away, does it? It continues to shine above all of that weather, so all that weather is happening. But the sun is steadfast there, above everything. And if you want to get to the sun, you would go through the clouds, go through the weather and you would find the sun. Or when the clouds part, the sun comes and shines down on you. So you have this confidence in the knowledge that whatever weather is present right now is not going to be forever. It's only temporary. And above it there is the sun. The sun is like your piece. It is the piece that resides inside of you and peaceful people understand this. They know that when there is a storm of anger or frustration or depression or sadness present within them, their peace hasn't gone away. It's on Lee obscured. It's only covered up temporarily by this storm. So what they do is they find ways to part the clouds or rise above the line of the clouds so that they can experience that piece and we'll talk about some of the things that they do in the next few days together. But for now, for your exercise Today, I want you to start observing all of your emotions that calm and go if you feel frustrated if you feel angry, if you are upset about something, if you're joyful and happy, whatever it is, I want you to start just noticing it and tell yourself this. This emotion is not my piece. It's not who I am. My piece resides underneath it, and for those of you who are committed to seeing the world in this new way that whatever is happening, it's not you. It's not your peas, your pieces underneath it. And you can always have access to that piece. Despite whatever is happening externally for you or within your body, I should say, if you are totally in on this, I have an additional exercise for you, and that's this. Instead of asking people instead of asking, maybe you have to establish this with those close to you before you start doing it. Otherwise it sounds kind of strange. But instead of asking people, how are you? Where the answer is? I am upset. I am angry. I am sad. Do you see how we make the sadness? What we are right rather than sadness is present? So instead of saying, How are you where the answer would be an I am statement. Why don't you start saying what is present for you right now and even you can do this for yourself? If you are starting to experience something internally, you can say what is present for you right now. And the answer to that is what's present. A sadness. What's present is confusion. What's present is disappointment. What's present is overwhelmed, whatever is present. But do you see how you are no longer that thing that is present? It simply is present and the same way that it's here this moment. It can be gone in the next moment, and that is the beauty that is. The thing that peaceful people understand is that there's no permanence to the experiences we're having in this moment. It comes and it goes just like the weather just like the clouds. Just like the rain. Just like the snow it comes and it goes. So I hope that was helpful for you this little mini lesson over here. And I hope you will do this exercise throughout the day and let me know how it works out for you. I send you lots of love and I hope you have a peaceful day. 2. PeacefulHabits Part2: hello and welcome back to the mental habits off peaceful people where we explore how peaceful people think so that we can adopt those thoughts into our lives and find more peace within ourselves. Now, yesterday we talked about how peaceful people don't see their peace as outside of them. They know that no matter what storm of emotion is happening within them, their pieces actually residing underneath all of those storms just the same way that the sun never goes away, when there is a rainstorm on a snow storm or any kind of weather present. So they observe these of weathers of depression and sadness and overwhelm as they come and go within them. And as they do that, they release all of those. And today I want to talk about how you actually can do that so peaceful people have this way of not identifying with their emotions whatever is present in the moment in their body , they don't think that it is them. They are something that exists underneath all of those emotions. The greater part of them is that knowing this that consciousness that is been neath the emotions so their peace comes from a part that is much greater than whatever this physical being can experience in this moment. So what, then, do you do when you are feeling upset when you're angry when you're depressed, when there is sadness present when you feel confused and all of these things, what do you do to pull yourself out? You know, to to help those clouds part a bit or raise yourself above the clouds and find the piece. And what you do is exactly that. You separate yourself from that emotion. That's what peaceful people do because they know they are not the emotion that's present. They're able to step outside of it and become the observer rather than being in the middle of that storm. It is a lot like if you are surfing, I try to serve one time didn't go very well, But if you are swimming in the ocean, you know, and there's a wave coming, what do you do? You don't just hang out and let that wave, you know, topple you hit you. You dive underneath it and you can literally feel that wave going past you above you, and you can even turn around and watch it and see how beautiful it is from that vantage point. And that's what peaceful people do with the emotions that are present within them. So today for your exercise, try doing that. If there is something present, let's say there's a feeling of overwhelm that comes or there is sadness or anger or whatever it is. See if you can step outside of it on, observe it and be the scientist. Beatus, a Beetle observer. Check out. Where is it? In my body? Where am I feeling that? What is the sensation? Imagine if you were writing a story and the character in your story is experiencing this thing you are experiencing in that moment. How would you describe it so that the reader would understand exactly what's happening within that person? You know, where is a tightening up and the body have? What's that sensation like? Where is it spreading out? How does it feel in the rest of the body? You know, they're tingling. Is there a tightening? Is there a wait? You know, like where What is it? What is that experience that that is present and what that does is because it turns you into the observer and rather than the person inside, you start feeling at peace. You start feeling uplifted. Your vibration starts to rise because you are no longer identified with what is present. You are just watching it from the outside. Your the observer. You're not the person you're not the thing inside of all of that turmoil, and that starts connecting you. It starts. You'll feel it. Just do it today and you'll start feeling it because you'll see it feels a lot like the clouds are parting and you can actually get a glimpse of that piece that is underneath all of that. And that's exactly what peaceful people do. This is how they start dissolving, what ever happens to be present within them by observing it and by kind of being the scientist that is trying to understand what's happening rather than being the person that's in it. They dive under that way and they watch it go by above them and, you know, and they're curious about it, Just like if you were a writer and you're writing about this, so do this exercise today and let me know how it goes for you. Share your experience in our Facebook group or on Instagram. I would love to find out about what is happening for you as you go through these exercises and until we come back tomorrow, once more with another lesson. I am sending you lots of love and I hope you have a peaceful day. 3. PeacefulHabits Part3: Hello and welcome back to day three of mental habits of peaceful people where we explore the thought processes off peaceful people so that we can adopt those into our own lives and find more peace internally for ourselves. So so far we've talked about how peaceful people see the peace inside of them. They actually don't see it outside. They know it's always present within them, and they also know that whatever emotions happen to be present, they are just like storms. The same way that you know the sun doesn't go away. When there's a rainstorm or a snowstorm, their peace doesn't go away when they're experiencing anger, frustration so peaceful People tend to step outside of the emotion and observe it. And as they do that they become the observer and not the emotion itself. They are not sad. They are the person who is experiencing sadness in that moment and the same way that the emotion has come the same way. It can disappear within moments, and they understand this now. Peaceful people don't have this attitude Onley towards their emotions. They actually have this attitude towards their thoughts as well. So most of us in this world are sleepwalking. That is a bold statement to make, but sadly, it is true. And I've been guilty of this. And I guarantee you, if you're not observing your thoughts and your not consciously choosing your thoughts, you are guilty of this too, because your thoughts are not what defines you. They are not the reality of you the same way that your emotions coming go. Your thoughts coming, go. And they don't have to be the thoughts that you choose if they're not making you feel good , so peaceful. People understand this, and they know that they're not their thoughts. They know that the thoughts are, ah, here one moment and gone another moment, and so therefore they choose better feeling thoughts. But before you can do that, you have to observe the thoughts. You have to become the thinker and not the thought itself. So for today's exercise, I simply want you to do that. Start observing your thoughts, and when a thought comes, see if you can just release that thought, you know, especially if it's not serving you. If a thought is feeling, you know, frustrating or it's making you angry, just say to yourself. This thought is not the reality of me. It's not the reality of this moment. It's not even the reality of the situation. I know it may feel like it is, but it's not. It's simply a thought. It's one point of view, so see if you can release it. I am not this thought. I am not my thoughts. This thought is not the reality of me and see if you can simply release that thought and let it go. And that's all I want you to do throughout the day. Today, that's your exercise, and tomorrow will come back with another step in this process of learning how peaceful people think. And until then, I'm sending you loads of love, and I hope you have a peaceful day. 4. PeacefulHabits Part4: hello and welcome back to mental habits of peaceful people where we explore the thought processes off peaceful people so that we can adopt those in our own lives and find inner peace as well. Now, yesterday we talked about this really interesting concept that peaceful people don't identify themselves as their thoughts. They actually are the observer of the thoughts so they can see a thought coming in and they can recognize that thought. And they can be almost like a scientist. Oh, that's interesting that I thought this now it doesn't serve me. I'm gonna let it go. Here is the next step in that process choosing thoughts, deliberately going from living reactively to whatever thought is popping up in your mind to actually choosing the reality you want to live. And to understand why this is so important. We need to understand the connection between our thoughts and our emotions. So your thought creates a physical sensation within your body. So let's say I have a thought. That is a sad thought. So and so died or so and so's dog died and I was attached or connected to that to that dog . And now I have this physical sensation that pops up somewhere in my body, and the physical sensation is something that I have throughout my experiences associate it with sadness. So now this physical sensation tells my body that I am sad and it triggers the emotion of sadness. Now what happens from that point forward? Because I am now sad and because of the law of attraction, attracting to itself other things that are similar to it. I'm going to find more thoughts that create that emotion of sadness within me. So now I'm going to think about every single person's dog that has died. I'm gonna think about all these dogs in the world that get abused and they don't get, you know, care and attention. And ah, and now I'm going to think about all of those poor people whose dogs have died. And now I start thinking, going down this rabbit hole of sadness and more sadness and more sadness and watching videos of people crying and people losing loved ones. And it's a bottomless pit. And as I do have these thoughts, what's happening every time is that that new thought is triggering a new physical sensation off sadness or strengthening the one I'm experiencing. That's deepening my emotion of sadness. And that's giving me more thoughts and so on and so forth. And this never ending cycle. And that happens with overwhelm. It happens with anger. It happens with frustration. It happens with every emotion that we experience. So where do you break that cycle? You can't break it at the point of the physical sensation, because that's automatic. That's your subconscious mind. It has already linked that thought to this physical sensation, and it's triggering it because of the thought. So you can't change it there. You can't change the cycle or break it at the point of the emotion, because the emotion is in response to the physical sensation. So it's automatic. It's part of your subconscious mind where you break it, and I know you are already saying it out loud. You're already guessing this are knowing this where you break it is at the level off thought so, having control over your thoughts, it's so incredibly, incredibly powerful. It is the most powerful way you can live because it actually gives you control over your entire life experience. So when you have control over the thought and you say Okay, I don't want to think this thought that is triggering all this sadness within me. What can I think instead? What thought can I choose instead? That has a different trigger. I can think about how much I love the puppy that my niece just got. I can think about how much you know love goes into the relationships that I have built with the pet store owner. That I go Teoh. Right? So now I start thinking about things, situations that bring up a different emotion, emotions of gratitude, of love, of joy, off you know, whatever is positive in my life. And as a result of that, my entire disposition, my entire energetic, this position, my entire emotional disposition shifts into a more positive state of being. Now I'm watching videos of puppies getting love of people, surprising their Children with a new pop. You know those things. And now I'm feeling grateful and I'm feeling loving and all of those emotions, right? So all of that happened because I changed the way I thought so. Today's exercise is this. Yesterday you learned about how to observe your thoughts and today see if he can take it one step further. So if that thought that you just observed is not serving you if it's creating, you know, emotions within you that you would rather not have. Ask yourself this very important question. How else can I see the situation? What other thought can I choose That is going to feel better right now. See if you can shift your thinking because this is exactly what peaceful people do. And until tomorrow, when we come back with another one of these little nuggets, I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful day. 5. PeacefulHabits Part5: hello and welcome to Day five off mental habits of peaceful people where we look at how peaceful people think so that we can adopt those thought processes into our own lives and find more peace internally. Now we've talked about how peaceful people see piece by itself, their internal peace, how they see the emotions within them. They're not the emotion that observer, how they see the thoughts that go in their minds. They're not the thought Third Observer. And now today I want to talk about how they see the world peaceful. People tend to see the positive rather than the negative, and that's because they tend to be more grateful individuals. So gratitude is something that's very important to them. Gratitude in and of itself is such an incredibly powerful tool, and I think we under use it and under estimate its power because it sounds way too simple. It is perhaps the thing that can give you everything you dream off, but it sounds too easy, so we dismiss it because we tend to dismiss things that are too easy, too simple. Now, why is gratitude so powerful? Because it is the emotional signature off creation of getting the things that you want now . Think about this for a moment. When do you experience gratitude? When do you experience thankfulness? When do you have that experience of appreciation? You have those experiences when you have just received the thing you want it you've been asking for. So when you have manifested something or something you've been manifesting or wanting comes into physical contact with you. You attain it. You experience gratitude. What does that mean? That means gratitude is the emotional signature off manifestation. If you can give thanks before you get that thing that you want, you are going to receive it a lot faster. And that happens because of the law of attraction. Remember, Law of Attraction means that which vibrates at a certain frequency attracts that which vibrates at that same frequency. So if gratitude is the vibrational signature off appreciation when you receive something you wanted, then if you can experience gratitude, that thing that you want has to come to you very, very, very powerful. And this is why peaceful people have so much internal peas because they have this confidence that life is just working out for them. They have this confidence that that which they want is on its way to them, and they haven't appreciation for the journey of getting there. They haven't appreciation off the moment that they are in. They have an appreciation off every misstep and roadblock that comes in their way because they know whatever that is, it is helping them expand, its helping them get to wherever they're eventually going. And they also know that it's the journey that matters this moment that matters. So they are not afraid to acknowledge this moment and have appreciation for it. So I cannot express to you the power of gratitude. And if you start practicing gratitude, you will see the power of it yourself. Within just a few days. Doors open up that you didn't even know existed. So I really urge you to to today's exercise, which is to give thanks to express gratitude. Every few hours. Set a timer, maybe every three or four hours. Challenge yourself to give thanks for five things. Five things. It's not that hard. I mean, it is hard if you are in a place where you're having a hard time finding even one thing, but really challenge yourself. I am grateful for this comfortable sofa over here. I'm grateful for the camera with which I can record so that you can see this lesson. I'm grateful for this beautiful day. So whatever it is you're grateful for put it down. Talk about it. Uh, say it even just to yourself, And see how your energy starts shifting. And with your energy, everything in your life. So I send you guys lots and lots of love. And until the next time you meet, I wish you a peaceful day.