Management Psychology: How To Develop And Use Emotional Intelligence | Ermin Dedic | Skillshare

Management Psychology: How To Develop And Use Emotional Intelligence

Ermin Dedic

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17 Lessons (1h 5m) View My Notes
    • 1. The 101 on Emotional Intelligence

    • 2. The Three Models of EI

    • 3. Why Ability EI Will Be the Focus?

    • 4. Job Performance and EI

    • 5. IS EI Always A Good Thing?

    • 6. Work-Family Balance and EI

    • 7. Emotional Labor and EI

    • 8. Emotional Exhaustion and EI

    • 9. High EI and Low EI

    • 10. Micro Leadership and EI

    • 11. Leader Member Exchange and EI

    • 12. Authentic Leadership and EI

    • 13. Emotional Expression and EI

    • 14. Emotional Regulation and EI

    • 15. Empathy and Leadership

    • 16. Alternatives to Emotional Intelligence

    • 17. Final Thoughts


About This Class


The goal of the course is to help organizations increase their sales and workplace mental health by developing and applying emotional intelligence!

The concept of Emotional Intelligence became popularized in 1995 when Daniel Goleman wrote a book titled 'Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ'. Since then, organizations have attempted to apply EI principles to improve organizational outcomes.

We look at how emotional intelligence can increase job performance and leadership ability, and offer practical advice and tips on how to develop and use it. The class project tests your understanding of the material.

The course is designed to be concise, have short lessons, and be direct in the presentation of the information. Your time is valuable, and I want to jam in as much relevant information as possible in the least amount of time.

Ermin is a Graduate student (Educational Psychology) in Canada, and he studies about the measurement of intelligence, how people learn, and why they behave the way they do.


1. The 101 on Emotional Intelligence: in this video, the one No. One on emotional intelligence. We're gonna cover historical development very quickly. We're gonna look at what is emotional intelligence, the ration now for emotional intelligence. And finally, why should your organization care so quickly with the historical development in 1964? This is the first time that we see the term being used in an academic paper. But it's actually not until 1995 that the term becomes very popular and in large part because of this book that came out in 95 by Daniel Goleman called Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than I Q. Now, just to understand some background here, I Q or cognitive ability is probably the most studied construct or idea or concept in psychology very, very well researched. And I would say that the research very much heads on Lee one toe, one direction, and that direction is that it's an insanely important predictor of long term outcomes in a number of areas. We won't get too much into the research of that, but Goldman is trying to make the argument here that actually, yes, I Q is important, and he doesn't deny this But he says, I have this concept. I have this construct of emotional intelligence, and it's actually as important, if not more important. And it's especially important for leaders, he says. Now we're gonna look at that lobe in a little bit more detail in a second. But first, what is emotional intelligence? Well, there's actually three different models, or three different kinds. Constructs gong. A Goldman's model would now be looked at as a mixed model, and what he said is when he looked at emotional intelligence, he says, This is to do with self awareness, self regulation, motivation, empathy and social skill. And we're gonna look at the three models in one of the next videos to explain it. But what's the rationale then, for this construct of emotional intelligence? Well, in 1998 he writes an article for the Harvard Business Review that is titled What Makes a Leader? And what he says is I. Q is important, no doubt about that, and so are technical skills in a job. But if you want to be a great leader, what separates a good leader and a great leader is actually emotional intelligence. So yes, you need I Q Yes, you need technical skill. But what separates the good and the great leaders is emotional intelligence. So that's the argument that he makes with that. So why does it matter why this emotional intelligence? This idea matter for your organization? Wow. Very simply, the claim is that employees there high and emotional intelligence can produce many positive outcomes for an organization. Better leadership, improve a job performance and so forth. And we're gonna look at if this is true, How is it true? Why is it true? How can it actually help your organization? 2. The Three Models of EI: in this video, I cover the three models of EI First Ability E. I then trade E I and finally mixed emotional intelligence. So first, with ability, EI, it's number one and ability to accurately perceive emotions. It's also about being ableto access and generate emotions so as to assist thought. And finally, it's about being able to regulate your emotions. Here's some of the measures or the tests used to measure a person's ability. Emotional intelligence. Now the first point there about the ability to accurately perceive emotions is very important, especially that were accurately because ability e I is measured in an objective sense. So there, right and wrong answers. So it is the most closely aligned to the idea of I Q itself because I Q. When you're tested, if any of you have gotten tested, is an objective test where you can get things right or wrong. So they test you on many different mental abilities, right? But there are right and wrong answers, so it's it's in Essence, is a very much more clean, specific construct than any off the other types of models. Off emotional intelligence. For example, when people say trait, emotional intelligence Here's the definition for it. Ah, constellation of behavioral dispositions and self perceptions concerning one's ability to recognize, process and utilize emotion laden information. So when we talk about trade E I, we're looking at it as a personality trait. And for those of you, some of you may know the way that we garner a measure. Somebody's personality working a personality they have is through self report measures. So you answer a bunch of questions on a scale and that dictates, you know, a trait. So trade e eyes very much similar to that. And here is a swell, um, a couple of the measures or test their used to measure somebody's trait. Emotional intelligence. And finally, we have mixed E I. And as you might have noticed with how Goldman looked at the idea off emotional intelligence, it incorporates a broader range of emotion related skills and competencies than trade e. I that were. Their broader range is later when we talk about some of the criticisms of E. I not Broader Part is one of the main main issues with mixed e I. So those are the three types or models of emotional intelligence 3. Why Ability EI Will Be the Focus?: and welcome back, everyone. In the last video you learned about the three models or three constructs off emotional intelligence ability, EI Trade, EI and mixed E. I. Three different ways to measure and look at emotional intelligence. Not all that. Surprisingly, it turns out that it's easier to develop ability, EI and the related explicit knowledge than it is to develop Trey T. I. Multiple studies have shown this to be the case, and when we really think about it, it's not all that surprising. It is, after all, much easier to show people all the different emotions human beings go through based on their different circumstances and all the related explicit knowledge that comes with that. Then it is to try to transform someone and show them how showed them procedurally how someone who is emotionally intelligent acts and the reason the latter circumstance is more difficult is fairly straightforward. It's difficult to change people's personality traits, and in fact, one of the reasons that psychologists left to study personality traits is because personality traits tend to be quite stable over time. Over a person's lifetime. Traits tend to be fairly stable, so the chances of actually procedurally changing somebody to become more emotionally intelligent is quite a big task. But what isn't anywhere near as much as a big task is to give that person knowledge explicit knowledge about what emotional intelligence is. When is it the most useful? Does everybody have emotional intelligence? How do you wanna act and be two words people that might not have emotional intelligence, improving communication so you can better perceive how other people in your work place are doing? And what are they feeling, the overall point being that the research shows that the best route to take when trying to develop your emotional intelligence is to get declared of knowledge or factual information about E. I. And that's exactly what we're gonna do in this course and what we've done a little bit so far by learning factual information about E I and anything and everything related to E. I. You will develop your emotional intelligence, and this will have the best effect at changing your workplace. 4. Job Performance and EI: in this video, I talk about E. I and job performance. So first will look a mixed e I measures. And in a general sense, three data really does show that there's a strong criterion related validity when it comes to predicting job performance. So great Aaron related validity. In this case, predictive validity is how much does the measure relate to The outcome in this case, a job performance and a 0.47 is very, very strong when it comes to psychological research and most of social sciences. When you see Point Force 0.0.5, that is very strong. Now, how about incremental validity? Well, incremental validity tells us. How useful is this new measure? Really, when you compare it with the measures that are already out there, can it play a big part in explaining job performance on top off the measures that already exist to measure job performance? So here in the parentheses here, there's two different studies I've included, and in one case, mixed EI measures can explain 14% of the variants in terms off predicting job performance, and in another case, they can explain 7% of the variants in terms of predicting job performance, So that's not all too bad as well. When it comes to ability, e i measures, I mean very low validity coefficient in terms of predicting job performance 0.18 again, that is. How much is the measure related to the outcome? In this case, of course, job performance and quite a bit less than that mixed E. I measure. And the other thing about it is ability. EI, that is, it has essentially near zero incremental validity. So essentially, it's useless to use when it comes to predicting job performance on top of the test that already exists. So it does nothing to improve over the current way that we have in terms of predicting job performance. So, in other words, useless. 5. IS EI Always A Good Thing?: So let's answer the question here is emotional intelligence. Always a positive or a good thing. So take a look at this figure here and we'll go through it slowly. I first want you to focus over here on the right hand side of the slide. It says here, Hi M W D job context. So this is managerial work. Demand. Okay, so then we have your low managerial work demand job context. So this is then the high, and this is the low. So have a look here and notice. Here on the X axis, we have low overall emotional intelligence and then high overall emotional intelligence notice for low. So over here and now we're looking at the high M m W d job context. Notice the lower the overall emotional intelligence, the higher in terms of the why axis, which is teamwork. Effectiveness. So the lower the overall emotional intelligence, the higher the team effectiveness. So you know this here high overall emotional intelligence over here on the X axis. But notice that this here is low mwd and it doesn't go quite as high here in terms of teamwork. Effectiveness. So what does managerial work demand mean what those high manager will work, demand me. And so let's take a look at that. So jobs that are high in managerial work demand our jobs that require the management of diverse individuals, functions and lines of business. So we're talking about a situation where there's a number of significant stakeholders. So you're dealing with a complex situation both in terms of the task involved and also socially. So there's sort of an inherent situation, a natural situation that rises in that kind of context. Where there's demands from one side and another, there's opportunities to be seen by both sides. So there's in a chance to act positively in the situation. And there's a real need toe, understand and perceive how the other person is feeling, because there are these opportunities and demands on both of you. Ah, and you are diverse, so that makes sense. So what about if you have kind of the opposite situation where you don't have to work with a significant group off stakeholders and you don't have to work with a diverse group of individuals and so forth? Well, in those kinds of cases, it's actually been shown that high emotional intelligence can be a negative, or at least not that helpful. And the problem is that in those kind of situations, you can still perceive things like hidden fear or anger. And it's been shown that then you're less likely to show respect to your supervisor or colleagues because you've picked up on that. And also because you're able to read unintended or uncontrollable expressions, you might be more likely to let's see a c ah, an angry face and then sort of blow it out of proportion. Whether blowing it out of proportion internally or externally, that might be the case. And in these kinds of situations, the thing to do is to think less is more. You do not want to train our employees to be hypervigilant and sort of paranoid about the environment to scan the environment and look to make sure that they're not offending somebody, because that can really create a very, very unhealthy environment. Of course, you have to train people to respect each other, to communicate when they have issues, but you do not want to create that kind of hypervigilance situation. What you want is you want that emotional intelligence to come into play. When there's a task or a social situation that is complicated, then that is when you need the the emotional intelligence. You don't need it in just a general, more simplistic situation, because often you're just blowing things out of proportion, and that's not gonna be healthy. 6. Work-Family Balance and EI: So in this video, I want to talk about work, family balance and how that place in to the relationship between emotional intelligence and job performance. So one of the things of the research really shows is that people that are high in emotional intelligence can balance work and family role. So the balancing is really where the advantage of having a high comes from and again if you're able to perceive how other people are feeling. If you're able to look at their perspective on something, you know how they see the world. Well, that is what people with High E I have. So for their family, you know, if they have a wife and kids, let's say they're able to say to themselves they're able to perceive their wife's emotions . They're able to take into consideration what their kids want. And then they are open to communicating, Let's say with their boss and saying, Look, I am, you know, willing to do some extra work at home if this allows me maybe to spend a little bit more time with my family because thes people realize that if they can kind of make both sides happy and make the work family balance better. They're going to feel better, and it's actually going to make them both more effective family people or parents, if you will, or husbands or wives or what not? And it's going to actually make them perform much better at the job as well. In fact, work, family balance is very relevant when it comes to better understanding the relationship between emotional intelligence and job performance. And the reason for this is that in both cases there are role expectations, right so it work. You have a very specific role, and you're gonna have certain targets to meet. And your job performance is going to be based on how well you're able to do that specific role and get all those targets, hit all those targets and so forth in the same way in your family life, you also have roles, roles as a husband, maybe as a parent. Ah, and you have certain things that you have to meet there. So if we can understand how some people are better able to have that balance between work and family, well, then we can understand sort of what makes the person with high emotional intelligence the way that they are, what makes them able to obtain sort of this balance that other people are not able to have ? So it's an interesting line of research, for sure. And the point here is to say that if at your organization, you're able to give some E I training, and it can be a simple as anything that helps you understand your employees more so that they can get that work family balance, it will help. So sitting down with an employee talking to them and trying to see their point of view, trying to sort of understand their emotions, their likes and what that's gonna hopefully do is increase that work family balance. And this is going to lead to increase job performance so people can actually, in terms of time possible, even work less but produced actually much, much more. I know that for some people, that seems counterintuitive, but it's better to work six hours where the person is in total focus because they know that , you know, maybe they're working a little bit less. They know they're going to see their kids sooner or their partner or what not in as a result, they're actually much more productive while at work, while in eight hours they might be skimping. And you don't taking a lot of break because they realize once I get home, you know I don't have as much time as I want. Let's it with my family. But now that they're working six, they get home earlier enough and they have time with their kids. So they're happy, then they're happy. So they're able to do both things with a lot of enthusiasm, and that's obviously very, very important when it comes to job performance. One other really interesting thing I found, at least interesting for me. Hopefully you find it interesting to is that when single individuals have poor work, family balance, it especially impact their job performance. I think it would be fair to say that often organizations do a decent job of taking care of the people that are married, especially that kids. But the single individuals are often let's say, the first to be called on toe work after extra shift during holidays on so forth. It's important to remember that single individuals that don't have kids might have more obligations when it comes to their parents, their parents might be aging. They might still want to see their kids a lot, since the child or child doesn't have their own family yet they don't want to see them more . They might rely on them even financially. The brothers and sisters that this employee has might want more of their time as well, in case they have a family. Maybe they want this individual to take care of their nieces and nephews. And really, a single individual should also have some time to get their own family. So, yes, that means that even they need time to find partners, to go on a date with somebody on so forth. So we have to be able to look at different people's lives and not just say well, this person single, they don't have any bit at home. I guess you know, we don't really have to think about them much. They can work when nobody else wants to work. When everybody else wants to be with their family, I guess we can just call on them. I think I think that has to be balanced. I think it's so much important, so important. It shows a ton of respect to individual people for whatever life there that they're living . And this could really actually improve thes job performance of that individual. So just doing things off the way to develop the I in this case is to see other people's point of view and really try to reconcile the work and family roles of your employees. 7. Emotional Labor and EI: So in this video, let's talk about emotional labor in the workplace and how it relates to job performance. So a quick definition to start things off when we talk about emotional labor. We're talking about managing emotions and expressions so you can fulfill emotional requirements of a job. And there's two concepts to get tied to emotional labor and that refer to emotional labor and those air deep acting and surface acting. Okay, so deep acting is simply when a person feels a specific emotion that they're actually thinking about in their minds. So in your mind you're thinking happy thoughts, so you feel happiness within yourself. This sort of thing is positively related to job performance. On the other hand, surface acting is not, and it's really just the opposite of deep acting. Essentially, maybe you're feeling actually, you're very stressed. Maybe you're fearful. Maybe you're angry, but on the surface, maybe you put on a smile so that surface acting and this aspect is not positively related to job performance. So it goes to say that hiding how you're really feel on the outside by putting, you know on a smile at work, even though that's not what you're thinking in your mind is actually not good for job performance. And this is why it's a good idea to be open in the workplace and make sure that people can be open and that there's no barriers to being open. So then how do you promote deep acting and stop surface acting as your organization? Well, there's really three things that all have to do with performance management. Number one. Practice communication and make communication. The priority and the base of your company make it so that employees can go up to managers, supervisors, three higher ups and that they're comfortable in doing so. Nick and exactly expressing how they feel that they don't feel the need to hide, uh, what they truly feel, and also make sure that the rewards and the recognition procedures are are proper, that people are getting the rewards and recognition that they deserve. That you you don't forget that aspect because essentially, if the employees were very happy with the communication level of the company, if they're happy with the rewards and the recognitions that they get for performing very well for your organization, you're not going to have much of a problem. When it comes to surface acting 8. Emotional Exhaustion and EI: emotional exhaustion, unfortunately, is all too common in today's workforce. In some cases, it's very much temporary and not all that severe in other cases is, unfortunately long term and quite severe. So in this scenario, it's useful to think of High EI as a protective factor against emotional exhaustion. But let's face it, the reality is that it is sort of natural and normal that your employees are still going to be emotionally exhausted at some points, and as long as it's temporary, that's not too abnormal. Sometimes the demands air just going to be way too much, and you're going to have stress. The question is, does it impact job performance? While the findings were quite interesting, and it shows that in organization, in organizations when there's a perception of high levels of distributive justice, so there's a lot of allocation of organizational resources to sort of balance things out, if you will, Emotional exhaustion actually impacts overall performance. But when there's a perception of low levels of distributive justice, so not a lot of allocation of organizational resources to balance things out or even things out emotional exhaustion does not impact overall performance. So why is this the case. Wow. Employees are evaluating the cost off their emotional exhaustion. So, yes, on some level, employees realise that I'm going to be emotionally exhausted at some points Is kind of hard to prevent. Demands are just gonna be too great. So I'm gonna be emotionally exhausted. Okay, I accept that. But this emotional exhaustion cost is on Lee all right with me, because I feel that everybody is treated how they should be treated based on their performance and their performance alone. So the problem is, when they see this high levels of distributive justice that an organization is trying to even things out and are not looking at simple job performance. Who's doing what? How much are they doing? How much are they contributing and rewarding employees In that way, that emotional exhaustion becomes a big, big problem when it comes to job performance. So watch that very carefully. 9. High EI and Low EI: So I think the big question is do you need to train every one of your employees? Toe have, ah, high emotional intelligence so that you could in this case, have everybody perform at the highest level possible, both in terms of task and contextual performance. And the answer to that is quite nuanced and very interesting. So what we actually find is that those employees that fit in the middle so those that have medium to medium low ei they're the ones that seem to be impacted negatively. So they have poor contextual and task performance when you compare them to people that have high emotional intelligence but also and very importantly, those that have low emotional intelligence. So the people that have low EI characteristics seemed to not have any issue. They actually perform very, very well when it comes to task and contractual performance. So why this low EI not appear to be detrimental when it comes to job performance? While one of the reasons says that people with low EI 10 toe lack social awareness and sociability so they're able to engage in job tasks without interruption, another big reason is that they tend to care Ah, lot less about being socially desirable. So they might ask questions that other people might not want to ask because they think somebody is going to start not liking them. And they're just gonna go ahead with their job because they don't really care about pleasing any particular person. So they might have good job performance because they just they don't think too much about it. They don't tryto overthinking. Overthinking can sometimes definitely be a detriment. So one of the things I take out from the study is, and what they mention in a lot of these studies is that trying to change a low EI person to be, ah high I person might actually be quite detrimental to that person and just a negative experience overall. So the people that you should really train, it should be those people that fit somewhere in the middle of the EI scale. You can train those people and move them up to being high EI. That's not going to impact their job performance. In fact, they will perform better. But you don't want to touch those people with Low EI because they're just fine. They perform really, really well and in fact, on a mental and psychological level, it might actually be detrimental. So keep that in mind 10. Micro Leadership and EI: so often. When we talk about leadership, we're talking about the big picture or the macro aspects. For example, what makes a good leader? What are the different leadership styles and which is the best style for this particular job? But how about the micro or the day today aspect of things? Often people forget about the day to day activities, but these are also very, very important. And one of the things that people with very high emotional intelligence than to do is to not forget about these day to day activities. There's essentially two different types of behavior that any leader or manager tends to have on a day to day basis. The 1st 1 are called task oriented Behaviour. So this is where you have to assign particular jobs to employees. You have to emphasize deadlines. You have to check that, you know, employees air following the rules and regulations. And, of course, there's a pressuring them to make sure that work is done, that the tasks are completed. So you're essentially monitoring performance, your sampling work and you're emphasizing deadline. So this is all about pressure, and of course, this pressure is going to put stress and strain on your employees. That is why the other behavior of a good manager is the socio emotional behaviors where you provide encouragement and you maintain good relationships with your subordinates. So in this case, you are doing supportive behaviours. For example, you're expressing appreciation to your employees and also showing concern for their welfare . So this is the support aspect, and it helps to, of course, counter act the fact that you're putting pressure on your employees because they have, of course, specific tasks to dio. So one of the things that people with high emotional intelligence tend to know is is too late to offer support once you've already put the pressure on people. So if you already give the task and then you follow it up by trying to give support, it is just not going to be anywhere near as effective, right? So prison that's high in emotional intelligence understands. How would I feel if somebody gave me this task and gave me like this deadline and so forth and when I have toe work and what I have to do for that task, but they didn't actually provide any sort of support for me ahead of time to sort of prepare me for this. So all of the sudden I feel this pressure, but I don't feel supported yet. Now. It's great if you offer the support after the fact and you mentioned your employees well, you can get support this win this way and that way. But the problem is that you will be way too stressed to be able to take in that support like you should, and it's going to make you feel negative for a longer period of time. So it's actually gonna be hard to get going on into the tasks. So a big tip here is always provides support and structure before you actually give out the task. 11. Leader Member Exchange and EI: So I think an interesting question is that as having high emotional intelligence increase leader, member exchange or leader member communication, many organizations, of course, when I increased communication and exchange between leader and member because there's many benefits, for example, one of those benefits would be that often you decrease the errors that you make for a specific project because there is this increase in communication and trust between leaders and members. So then, if you want to increase the exchange that occurs well, what do you have to do? What has to happen is that there has to be shared expectations and beliefs in regards to the importance that you place on using emotion in the workplace. So people with high emotional intelligence, of course, will place, Ah, great, important in terms of using emotion in the workplace and and, of course, interpersonal interactions. So, naturally, if supervisors and subordinates are high in E. I, while they're going to develop a strong emotional bond. But the interesting part is that when a group of people all have low emotional intelligence , then this can also cause high levels off leader member exchange. So it's not exactly a requirement that everybody's high in E. I to have these high levels of interaction and specific groups. So the importance of having high emotional intelligence in this case is the leader is to realize look at each of your employees and figure out what are their expectations and beliefs in terms of how emotion should be utilized in terms of workplace interactions. And you need to do that for each employee. You need to be aware of how they feel about it, and then you can go into a number of directions in terms of solving it. You can explain after figuring out in being aware of where they stand on that sort of thing , you know, you can make small groups of people who have specific expectations or beliefs, and you know that if you put them in their own group, it's actually not going to impact the exchange that occurs there. There just won't be any personality conflicts, which is something that we don't want to happen anyways. And you put the high e i people in a group of swell. Now, if that's not possible due to the situation that you ran while then it's very important that as a group, you make it sort of clear what are the expectations? What are the beliefs? What's Okay, what's not in terms off? What is the appropriate way to use emotion, so hopefully at that's useful? 12. Authentic Leadership and EI: So one of the things that you will hear people say when they've had managers or leaders who are very high in emotional intelligence is the fact that they seem so authentic and just so genuine. And when somebody is that authentic and genuine, what it allows you to do is influence the feelings off other people around you. So your subordinates or the members that work under you So what is it about people with high EI that makes them seem authentic? While the main thing is that they're very aware of the fact that actions are a lot more powerful than words when it comes to how the subordinates or the members under them perceive their leadership. So if you want to become more authentic as a leader, you can ask yourself the following question. That's just one example. Do you speak to everyone in the same manner, regardless off their position? So do you talk the same way to the people below you that you talk to the people above you? So this is really, really important, and people with high EI realize and are very, very aware of the fact that to be truly authentic and to show a very good example. They have to live that they have to be authentic. So that means inaction in behavior. They cannot be different than the words that they spew out. 13. Emotional Expression and EI: So let's talk about emotional expression. Earlier on, I talked about the fact that leaders have two main types of behaviors that they were taken . So we had task oriented behaviors where you're giving tasks. Two employees. You're monitoring them to make sure that they're actually doing it. You have to make sure that they follow rules and regulations. And, of course, you have to make sure that they finish their work by a specific deadline. But there's also the other aspect, and that's the socio emotional behaviors. And here you're looking to support your employees and have good relationships with your employees. So on one hand, the task oriented behaviors put pressure on your employees and a social emotional are meant to give support to your employees so emotional expression would fit into the supportive behaviours category. So now you can get an idea off what would happen if you were totally missing this aspect in the workplace, and you can also figure out what would happen if you didn't utilize it properly. What if you didn't express yourself as properly as you could? What impact would that have on the workplace? Well, people that are high in emotional Intelligence 10 to understand the importance of emotional expression, and they tend to express themselves properly. So what some really natural born leaders understand is that leadership is social and emotional. So it's not just about giving people the tasks, which is the pressure side of things. It has to also be able to social and emotional, because that is the support mechanism out there, or you're going to have one stressed out workforce. They also understand that it is these relationships among boss and the rest of his employees and among the co workers that really brings meaning to the job. So sometimes the job inherently doesn't have a lot of meaning to it, and it's hard to find meaning in a lot of jobs. But where the meaning of the work in the workplace comes in is the relationships between leader and follower and then among the co workers themselves. So the main thing is to look at emotional expression as a tool and a very, very powerful one at that. So now that you know that this tool exists and you know that it's an important tool, it's still important to properly utilize it, so you have to use the right vocabulary when you try to express yourself, and this is absolutely fundamental. For example, ask yourself, Do you know the difference between words like anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, embarrassment, disappointment? You need to work on a vocabulary and make sure that you're not using words interchangeably , even though they would not really be proper for that context. So work on having a vocabulary that you can use with your workers. Look at the synonyms and really make sure that you understand these words. And also are you considering the context of the situation, does it actually, sometimes to make more sense to be angry, let's say then disappointed. 14. Emotional Regulation and EI: Okay, so let's talk about emotional regulation and leadership. I want to start off with this quote from Aristotle. Anybody can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way. That is not within everybody's power and is not easy. So what I love about this quote is that it tells us that even anger to be properly applied requires emotional regulation. That's pretty awesome. So let's take a look at the definition. I won't read it, but I'll leave it on the screen so you have, ah, time to read it. So this would be as defined under the trait E. I construct so essentially being able to control your emotions and change unpleasant moods through personal insight and effort. So the question is, then how do we regulate ourselves emotionally, while one way is through dissociation and that is the ability off individuals to separate people or things. So being able to remove themselves either physically or emotionally, from the emotionally charged situation in order to create distance and perspective from the event so the first thing is to become. Now here's an example. So an employee atras your office and is angry about not getting a raise. The first thing that you have to do, of course, is stay calm and ask yourself, Why is the employees angry? What caused their anger and what's your response should be to that anger now. It is the main prior to here to make sure that you do not say something rash, something that could damage the relationship for the foreseeable future. So one of the things that you can do, one of the self regulation tactics is, of course, this emotionally charged situation. It's hard to be calm, so one of the things that you can do off course is less a count to 10 and, of course, do it in your head. But that's the main thing, the beginning when the employee, let's say, starts complaining to your stars. Being angry at you is to stop it right there, calm yourself down, count to 10 and then respond. You don't have to respond quickly. Just counted 10 in your head and khan the situation down, so you have control over yourself and then go through the process that we just discussed. Another thing that you can do is called reframing, and this is the ability to understand and use multiple perspectives and to think about the same thing in more than one way. So what do we mean by an ability to understand a news multiple perspectives? While it is the realization that not everyone looks at the organization as simply a place where there are rules, goals and policies that everybody has to follow and that all of the manager's doing is following the rules, giving people roles, trying to make sure to complete certain goals and follow certain policies, other people will look at it in a political sense where they see the organization as a jungle where the whole organization is all about power and conflict and competition and organizational politics. And you have to be able to sit back and realize that that person is thinking about the organization in that way, or another person that actually looks at the organization as sort of a family and their focus is on the interpersonal relationships. So just because the focus of the organization has nothing to necessarily do with interpersonal relationships So you know you don't have a psychology clinic where interpersonal relationships would be really important at the job you might be doing. I t. Or something completely different. Some people will still view the organization as a place of family and as a place of interpersonal relationship. So if that's not a priority at that company, that person will be quite unhappy if you bring up the fact. Well, I'm just following this policy. I'm just following this rule and so forth. So it's just our ability to think about how other people might be thinking about the organization. 15. Empathy and Leadership: So in this video, I'm going to talk about empathy and its relationship to leadership and really the importance of empathy in leadership. Specifically, I'll be talking with trait, empathy. So how the trait E. I conceptualize is empathy and, of course, the importance of empathy off four trait E I. So when we talk about empathy, what are we saying? Well, we're gonna bring up two things here. It's about engaging and listening to others and the ability to negotiate compromise and solve conflict. So listening to others and being able to negotiate compromise and resolve conflicts would be an example off practicing empathy at the workplace. So when we talk about engaging in listening, we're really talking about active listening so in the moment and focusing all of our attention upon the person to whom we are speaking to. So you understand the importance of active listening. But you also have to show in some ways that you are actively listening, and one of the ways that you can do that is to paraphrase what the individual or employees said to ensure that you understood their intent correctly, but to also, of course, show that you were in fact listening. The other thing that you can do, of course, is remove the conversation from distraction, which can, of course, make it difficult to understand what the employee is saying. This also shows empathy. This shows great respect for the person. If you are, let's see in a noisy environment, you take them to another room to talk to them or you take them to at least part of the room or area that you work in. That is much, much more quiet. I mean, this sort of stuff, it's small little things, but they make a big, big difference in terms of how an employee can, of course, look atyou. Another important factor is to be consistent with your nonverbal behaviors. So maybe you're telling an employee that you're not angry at all, that you're actually very, very calm. But your facial expressions show otherwise. So you want to practice these skills. That's how you're going to be consistent with them. And of course, you have to believe in them. So you have to use emotional intelligence and trade empathy as a tool, and you have to practice a time and time again, and that's how you are going to practice it in a way that is genuine and away where your verbals and nonverbals are actually going to be consistent. Right? But if you don't believe in empathy as part of leadership, if you don't believe in emotional intelligence, then of course that's not gonna happen and you're not gonna come off genuine and it's not going to work. Another thing to consider is to pause for reflection. So often there is a feeling that you need to hurry to give your reflection back to what your employees asking about. Don't do that positive reflection. Reflect upon what the employee said to you so that you can actually give back a genuine response. And they're going to like that a lot better if you take time to give a genuine response. The last thing that you want to do is hurry, not reflect, and give a really, really horrible response back. They can actually just ruin the relationship. So So you want to be careful with that? Also, ask open ended questions when you're talking to her employees. This is encouraging them to talk more so they're gonna feel value. They're gonna feel respected. The other aspect of trade empathy that I want to cover his negotiating, compromising conflict resolution. But instead of doing that through a video, I'm going to do a little bit of activity or assignment that you will have to do and that will cover that part of it. 16. Alternatives to Emotional Intelligence: Hello, everybody. And welcome to this video In this one, I'm going to talk about the alternatives to using E I measures. So whether you've been using the EI measures to recruit people, hire people, manage people, trained people does not matter. So I'm going to talk about two different things. And I talked about these two different things for two different reasons. The first reason is both of these things have assessment tools that are very, very valid. So you can actually measure people very accurately in these to dip domains if you choose to . The second reason I talk about them is that they are important for complex jobs. So you can't do a complex job properly, and you can tell other people to do very complex jobs if they don't really have these two things. And this is, well, well supported by research. So the first component I'm gonna discuss is I Q or cognitive ability. One of the key jobs of any manager is to ensure that people are in jobs that are just the perfect complex ity for their cognitive ability. If you place a person into a very complex job which managing people certainly is, and they don't have the cognitive ability, they don't have enough crystallized intelligence. They don't have enough fluid intelligence. These people will burn out and they will not perform. On the other hand, if somebody has a lot of cognitive ability and you put them into a task that's not very complex, well, these people are going to be bored to death, and they're going to want to leave. So crystallized intelligence is naturally increases as you age, because this is based on your experience and the knowledge that you pick up. So that's why, in a lot of cases, people prefer managers that have experienced fluid intelligence. On the other hand is How well do you think abstract Lee? So the better that you think abstract lee, the better that you can adapt to new situations that arise so you wouldn't have had to face a very specific situation to know how to deal with that when it comes up. You also have to be careful when you're hiring and when you are looking at who to promote and who to give those really complex jobs, too, because for most businesses, it's about 20% of people that air bringing in, you know, 80% or 70% of the revenue and that just one of those rules in business. So if these people are not intellectually stimulated, if they feel that they're not being rewarded for how much they're putting in, you know it's not going to. Your company is not going to last a very long time because, you know, people don't want to, you know, put up with that. You know, if your one of the 20% who is earning 80% of the revenue or producing 80% of the things, you are not going to want to stay there so you know if there's promotion or hiring that that doesn't make a lot of sense. It's really going to get rid of those people. And if you lose those people, you essentially lose your company. You cannot, you know, unfortunately, come back from that kind of thing. So you know, this is just important. That thing about people that have very high, that have very good cognitive ability is that they're able to come up with more ideas. They're able to come up with those ideas quicker than other people. And this is because they often have very good working memory and the have very good processing speed in their brain. So, you know, this is something that always has to be considered, and, you know, up there is number one. And this is exactly why good organizations are interested in people's G P A s, a. T scores G R E scores l sat scores because these are all sort of indirect. You know, gauges are measures off a person's cognitive ability. The other component that I want to talk about is conscientiousness, and that is one of the big five personality traits. So if someone is conscientious, they are diligent, their persistent they are organized and very much a goal driven a person. Once again, people that are conscientious tend to be very successful in life. There's a lot of good outcomes when you are high in conscientiousness. If you want to run a well oiled machine, you really need to hire people that are high in conscientiousness, so managers or anybody else that's in a more leadership position. This is an insanely important trait for them tohave 17. Final Thoughts: and this final lesson for the course. I want to give you sort of the big picture and give you my final thoughts and takeaways. I've talked a bit about approach behavior and withdrawal behavior throughout the course. There is a good psycho physiological argument to be made for showing interested work for smiling around the workplace and, yes, for even sometimes being angry as long as that anger actually facilitates action. Two words. A specific goal. Even anger is considered an approach behavior when in fact it does facilitate actions towards trying to accomplish a goal. Now, the reason that that's considered approach behavior is it is found that when anger that is in fact facilitate action towards a certain goal, you might have an increased heart rate. You might feel frustrated you might feel stressed, but actually there's no or very little cortisol, which is the stress hormone being released in your body. On the other hand, if you are withdrawing from things and you don't want to face things and you're always waiting for people to come to you, you don't approach your supervisor. You don't approach other coworkers, so all of the time, if they're coming to you. They're probably coming to ask you, you know, maybe why you did this thing or why you did this thing. And maybe you made a mistake because you never approached him in the first place. But the problem is that then when they come to you, you are in a defensive situation. And what happens is that you do, in fact, release cortisol. And of course, that does not have a good impact in terms of your health. So if you only think about one thing, I think about how it's actually psycho, physiologically speaking, not healthy to withdraw from the workplace and that the ideal workplace is a workplace where people work together. They support each other, they communicate, they take initiative, they're assertive. Of course, you have to treat everybody with respect, but you have to take initiative. So the prescription here is, the more responsible you are at the job, the more you look at yourself as an individual, what you're doing, what you could do better, what you could do to support your team. The more feedback that you ask for, the more you keep other people in the loop, the more healthy you are going to be, and the more healthy your work environment will be