Life, Love, and Leadership through Focus | Matt Hallock | Skillshare

Life, Love, and Leadership through Focus

Matt Hallock

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5 Lessons (21m)
    • 1. Introduction/ Myself

    • 2. Interpersonal

    • 3. Focus Drills

    • 4. Leadership- Focus

    • 5. Class project


About This Class

  • ┬áThis beginner class will briefly explain how Focus is an immensely valuable keystone habit to develop. It is a topic that few people fully understand and that being the case will allow you to easily stand out among others around you. This class will teach you how to improve your leadership skills, interpersonal skills and problem-solving.


1. Introduction/ Myself: Hello. My name is Matt, and this was my very first skill share video. Um, the topic I'll be teaching on is on focus. Ah, but before I start, I would like to make a request that you leave feedback for my performance at the end. This is my first video, and I'm relatively new to this, but, uh, I'm here to help others, and I want to pass on knowledge. And I'm teaching on focus as a keystone habit. And I believe some of these topics I will be speaking on the next few weeks are very important. They can help others, and your feedback will help me help others. So, in essence, you're helping others. I'm a naturally quick speaker. I speak very quickly just due to my military background, my fitness and cardio background. And I apologize. This is just naturally how a speak. But I will do my very best to slow for you guys. Um, about me, I suppose I am a self development author. It's pretty. Book. Uh, mixed martial artist, fight coach, kickboxer, counselor, engineer and entrepreneur. Now, none of this really matters. But whenever I only allowed a certain amount of time on these videos, and sometimes they may forget to incorporate the context of the tips I give you. And if you remember this, then it'll probably very parent for you. So now that all? That's how the way I've chosen to speak on focus because I believe it is the most important keys don't have it to learn without focused, nothing great has ever been accomplished. Uh, with focus, you can influence, you can lead. You can love people the way they need to be loved. Focus has such a broad, broad use of benefits. And and all of these benefits direct directly relate to focus. And I will explain why and how. And some of these are actually really fun. So I'm excited to start, and I'm not gonna give you the video of the project that we're gonna do at the end and tell my second video. Um, but in this age of technology we do. We are lacking in our ability to focus. There's no offense about about it. We have a TV, we have the video games. We have our cell phones with 400 APS 2000 sitcom TV shows. All these things are vying for our focus, and it really, truly is taking us away from the things that really matter. Uh, I see it all the time, and I'm not speaking on morality. I'm speaking on, uh, on our time with others, our relationships with others, our ability to chief or our mental capacity to achieve. So I truly believe that our age specifically is tailor made to counter focus. And as we have recently discussed, focus is how we achieve. So that is what these blinks. Uh, these videos will be on, and I will go in a very slow paced, very small videos and make a very simple for you. So head over to the second video. I'll be there. Thank you. 2. Interpersonal : Okay, this will be my third video on focus and trace Class Will be about interpersonal relationships, inter personal skills through active listening. Um, this is one of my absolute favorite topics. Talk about because I counsel relationships both Plutonic and romantic, and I've studied human behavior extensively, and this is one of the fastest ways to show that you're improving. It's one of the fastest growth yielding reward yielding, Uh uh, habits you could have. And aside from that, uh, as we have spoken before the first video there, our focus is completely limited. In this time, an era, this time and space of the world, our focus is limited. So when you find a person who can actually listen can control their cortical skills to show their emotions, to control themselves, to listen to you long enough and continue listening. It adds influence. It makes others people happy. And this is a very valuable trade. This will make you a rare commodity. Very few people have what it takes to listen. I mean, it is it may be 5 10% of the population are capable of doing this listing for prolonged periods of times to focus your attention on them alone, so it is very difficult. It is can be difficult. In the beginning, you're gonna make mistakes. But that's not a big deal, because there are no shortage of people wanting to be heard. Everybody wants to be hurt. That's if I'm correct. Mother Teresa once said something like The greatest hunger is, too to be felt as if they were cared about. I do believe it was something of this nature, and active listening is such an easy wait, too. Do this to anybody. If you care about someone, you have no money. You have nothing. Listen to them. Make them feel better about their situation. Perhaps run through their minds. Allow them to run through their minds about the, uh, future choices they should make or can make. And it may even help clarify their situation, and you will be doing good for the world. You'll be helping them out. And this is one of the appeals I love about interpersonal relationships. So it is true. Have you heard the phrase It's not what you say, it's what you do, and it took me many years to understand this concept, but it is 100% true words alone do not do anything. It may alert others to action, but actively listening is that thing it brings from your words to your substance. You could say all the sweetest things to your girlfriend, your wife, your husband. But to stand there for 10 15 minutes, listening to her about listening about tennis class. 3. Focus Drills: Okay, This is my second video on Focus. And today we're going to talk about the physics of focus. Uh, what does it take to improve your focus? Exercises, ideas, techniques? I'm gonna start out with what you shouldn't do, though. Uh, multitasking is not helpful regardless of what you see and people swearing by it. Mothers trying to do the, you know, grocery shop, pick up the Children soccer practice, go home, do a business assignment from work. So on and so forth. All these things are they happen, but and sometimes they need to be happy need to happen. But you should not get comfortable on this because multitasking does nothing more than the opposite of improved focus. Multitasking is sort of like putting one egg and different baskets, but in this case, the eggs, your focus, And when it comes down to something very important that you must achieve or accomplish, overcome, your focus will not be there. Usually these things that will be difficult. You'll need to put all your focus on one thing in order to overcome its If it's something great, it's not gonna be easy to do so. And that being the case you meet all of your cortical skills. So the very first tip is to not multi task. Stay away from it. I know it happens, but do your best to a shy from it. So with that being said, mindfulness is our second tip today. This is a great tip because this will keep you grounded. It'll keep you into here and the now and this being the case. And you are a student of focus. Yes. That's why you're watching this. As a student, you can be mindful of situations that you can improve on. You can be mindful of places that concentration will be most needed. And when you improve this skill of focus, you're gonna improve better. You're going to think on your feet. You're gonna be able to act. You're gonna be able to not have pressure on your back. Uh, it won't stop you. Mindfulness allows you to choose the smartest route in certain situations, and the more you improve, the better you'll get out of it. Um, I tell this to my students and my kickboxing gym. I usually train people that been through bad things, and they were unable to defend themselves on the streets. So, uh, when I tell them, aside from the physical and the technical ability to fight, one of the best things you can have when you bring yourself to a dangerous situation is the ability to be mindful to think about your surroundings, to think about what this person will do, how big this person is, perhaps if it's not smart to run or the best route to run. Uh, most few people have the ability to focus under extreme duress like this, and it took me a lot of years of fighting and training enable to accomplish my this myself . But mindfulness is, in the end, one of the best ways to learn have remind yourself. You're are studying to be a focus, so you can continue working toward that, and it allows you to choose the very best thing. And this being the case, well, you're only gonna build more of it. Your body's gonna use habits to reinforce your mindfulness, so it's gonna help in any other aspect of your life. So the next one will be self talk. Self talk is huge. This might be one of the most important things. All these videos will talk about or any video I can put up probably. Um, self talk is huge. The subconscious mind does not filter content. When you speak to your mind or you speak to yourself, ingest. It could be a joke. It could be just for fun. Or it could be meaningless. Your mind. Does that filter that content your subconscious mind? Wolf Take all of that information and believe it. Believe that information in a way. And eventually it will come past your subconscious mind, and it will monster its way out. It will make itself visible. And it's This is the way that this is one of those things that people quit on. They begin to quit on themselves because in a way they didn't understand why. But it will take away energy and focus. So if you speak positively to yourself, that will also imprint on your subconscious, and it will also show itself. But in a much more positive weight. The words you speak are the actions you will eventually portrayed. If that makes sense and this being the case is a positive boost to keep you going, getting those mental muscles continuing, it'll keep you going so that that endurance will keep going. It will allow you to keep focusing even when it's difficult, so that out of the way books votes are huge. Uh, when you when you read it, obviously it helps to focus in the here and the now. When I started writing, I did not have a very good attention span, as you could tell my voice and my speaking ability is very quick. And that being the case, my personality was a lot like that. I couldn't read more than two pages. Uh, I couldn't sit down longer than 20 minutes. Um, always got up to go job two or three times a day and books when I found that I had that push past that comfort zone of my reading. That is really when all off my growth came in, and that's how your growth is gonna come in. I highly recommend to use books above anything for a technique and focus. They're great, but you must use books that you like that have a difficult structure but has a grammar are difficult grammar to understand, Um, perhaps to pick books that you've always wanted to read. That was the old classics. I read books like The Count of Monte Cristo, I read I Like the Three Musketeers of Friedrich Nietzsche, a big Ernest Hemingway fan. Oscar Wilde, The ballad Reading Jail. Another Poetry. But these things will increase your ability to focus. This is Endurance 101 And when you do this, you should clear out all of your schedule at the time. Whatever you're doing, do it first. Get it out of the way. Overcome those small things so nothing can get in your way. Focus and force yourself every day to read two or three or four more minutes than the day before. It will be difficult, but it's a good thing, and it will definitely help. So with that, uh, I see to the third video. 4. Leadership- Focus: This is my fourth video on Focus, and today is gonna be we're gonna be talking about leadership. Um, Warren Buffett was once given an interview and asked, What would it take to become successful to get your level of success? Warren Buffett looked at this reporter and he pointed out a bookshelf. He said read 500 pages of these books, any book. Then he went on to say, Very few people have the fortitude to do this. I understand this. I could probably not do that. I can get around to 300. But the point is, he's He was right in ways, and it wasn't just about the knowledge. Knowledge does pay off. Knowledge is power put into use. But it is about the focus, the focus of a leader, the focus of someone who is going to tiu, achieve who's going to succeed. And it made me think about this. What is a leader? What is it? What is a leader? What do they do? What makes them a leader? And I have found the answer to be focused. In a way, being a leader is almost like being focused a short term, and the long term. The leader must know what's gonna happen now. What he should be doing now, tomorrow, next week and in 10 years. Um, this is why focus helps. Not only does it help you learn or remember things better, but it also through active listening and and and through reading and building up your patients and your cortical skills. Leadership is very simple. Or I should say it makes it easier speak. Leaders must give speeches. They must. They must remember body language. Remember everything. He must know the numbers from the going for an interview or sorry, a business deal. They must know names and faces, Um, knowing somebody's name as if you read how to win friends and influence people s states that one of the greatest ways to to influence anybody is by remembering their name. And if you forget their name and this person is important, you could lose. You could lose a lot. So there are two types of leaders. There are a structure leadership type, uh, sort of like Warren Buffett, Steve Land, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates. Barack Obama is pretty structured. Anybody who has a sort of chain of command that is extremely detailed and sort of a process as well. The passionate type of leadership is a Spartacus, a dictator or a Roman emperor. Anybody who acts on conviction and occasionally impulse and acting through passion. People will follow through action. So the two things that have both of these have in common is communication. You must show that your people below you or your equals if you prefer to see them, is that you must show them that you care. And you must show them that you care about remember their names. You show them that you care about listening. You show them. You show them that you care by having a great plan. Oftentimes it's not about being kind. It's simply offering a productive mindset or goals. You know, nobody wants to have a leader who has no goals. So this is what I've learned, and much of my writing and speaking and learning career, something information you reading. Now, much of this has come from my overwhelming urge to to lead by family to a better direction . Certain things have happened, and I put a lot of stock in my ability, right to read and my professional skills so that they can see that they have. We have a positive future among us, and I wanted to show them what they are capable of. And all of this took great focus. I took an amazing amount of focus. It took me a week just to write an outline of my first book. So my point is this. If you want to be a great leader, focus If you want to improve your family, you wanna prove your life, listen to them, listen to their problems and focus. And when you find a solution, focus. So this will be the last video on on teaching aspects of focus leadership, interpersonal and so on. My final fifth video will be on the class project. So I'm excited for you guys to tell me what you think of this and and, uh, let me know what you think about everything. Um, I'll see you guys in 1/5 1 5. Class project: okay, It's my fifth and final video on Focus. Today's topic is gonna be on the class project. What I want from you is to from you is to, uh, put mindfulness and focus together and actively listen to 10 separate people at 10 different times. There's a matter of the environment is long, as you know, these people are, or you may not even have to know them. Strangers love to be listened to as well, but it's better with people you know, so that you can exercise right, document the emotions that you are conditioned seeing, and the ones that you're not conditioned to seeing it be more transparent this way. But through these 10 people you're gonna want, I want you to exercise mindfulness to see what you're doing wrong when you listen. Um, are your feet moving your hips shifting? You have a very difficult time to focus on what they're saying. Uh, do you remember what they're saying? Do you keep thinking about the gym or Homer? Other things Are your shoulders loose? Hands down. Are you relaxed? You have 1/2 smile. I want you to document all of these things in detail from 1 to 10 you will improve. You will improve as you go about it and you will see the results, which is the second part of the project. The second part is I want you believe a space on the other side of the paper. And I want you to document what you think. In your opinion. Your best educated guess. How did they respond to you? How they respond to this act of listening again? I doubt it could ever possibly be negative because the purposes for you to keep the conversation going That's what I want from you. Do not talk about yourself. Keep the conversation going. Be genuinely interested. Um, keep eye contact. Be happy. These things. These things are so powerful. And the more you practice is now still fresh in your mind, the better you're gonna become. And your life is gonna be better because of interpersonal relationships. Your business, um, yourself growth. You have a lot of friends. So that is what I want. I want I want you to document all of these things. And I would also like you to start reading the classics, start reading books that are difficult if you have a hard time focusing. This is just extra credit. I'll never know if you do it, but I would like for you to tell me. I would like for you to give me some feedback on that. They read the classics, Oscar, while I like Oscar Wilde. Uh, read some duma. Read some Montecristo. That's great book love. I've read that book was like, fourth grade. It's gonna strange, but yeah, um, that's the point. Document your improvement on active listening and starting classics. So I want from you, um let me know how everything goes. Document it all and let me know I'm excited and go put this stuff in effect, fellas.