Learning To Communicate Effectively: Leadership Skills 101 | Hans Fleurimont | Skillshare

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Learning To Communicate Effectively: Leadership Skills 101

teacher avatar Hans Fleurimont, Author, Educator & Graphic Artist

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

9 Lessons (30m)
    • 1. Intro to course

      0:52
    • 2. Facts about communication

      4:40
    • 3. Self Check Up Checklist

      3:22
    • 4. Three Levels of Listening

      2:37
    • 5. The Attending Skill

      2:04
    • 6. The Paraphrasing Technique

      4:13
    • 7. Asking Questions

      5:57
    • 8. Expressing Empathy

      5:11
    • 9. Outro to course

      0:51
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About This Class

In this class, you will learn about tools and techniques that will help improve your communication and you will also learn about why communication is so important. The course curriculum includes:

  • Facts about Communication
  • Self-Check Up Communication Tool
  • 3 Levels of Listening
  • The Attending Skill
  • Asking Questions
  • The paraphrasing Technique
  • Expressing Empathy Skill

The goals for this course are:

  • Being able to better clarify expectations and minimize misunderstandings.
  • Improving conversation exchange by understanding open-ended and closed-ended questions.
  • Increase understanding and precision through paraphrasing.
  • Learning to De-escalate tense situations with empathic responses.

Meet Your Teacher

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Hans Fleurimont

Author, Educator & Graphic Artist

Teacher



Hello,

My name is Hans Fleurimont. I was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1985 where and I grew up with an appreciation for the visual arts. I am currently a graphic artist who has become a teacher & mentor, sharing my knowledge and experience to the world. I first started drawing comic book heroes in middle school and from there I couldn't stop.

At the age of 17, I joined the United States Army in November 2004. I served for three years and ten months and specialized in field artillery as a forward observer. I was stationed at Ft. Lewis, Washington and I did one 15 month tour in Iraq. I left the service in September 2008 and I started a new journey.

 In April 2010 I began going to school at The Art Institute of New York City, where ... See full profile

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Transcripts

1. Intro to course: learning to communicate effectively is a skill that all leaders must learn. We use communication in every aspect of our lives, has a leader. If you can't communicate effectively, then you won't be able to delegate properly. So in this course I'm going to be sharing with you several tools and techniques to help you improve your communication. At the end of this course, you should be able to clarify expectations and minimize understandings, improving conversation exchange by understanding, open ended and close ended questions. Increase understanding and precision through prayer, phrasing and learning to deescalate tense situations by using empathic responses. So let's not waste time and jump right in. 2. Facts about communication: the ability to understand people is the key toe operating effectively in most, if not all, professions. Now I'm sure most people have heard the term communication is 90% non verbal, meaning that most of your communication is not what you say, but how you say it and your body language. And, yes, body language is very important, so you should spend some time trying to figure it out. So even though there is some truth into that statement, it's still not complete because communication isn't just what you say with your words and what you say with your body. Communication also involves listening. Listening involves your ears, eyes, your mind and your emotions. And I believe that the Mayan plays a very important role in communication, and most people don't spend enough time training themselves how to use it properly. If you thought and planned more and be more deliberate about what comes out of your mouth, you probably would have ended up in half the trouble you did in your life, and that goes with learning how to control your emotions as well. And I know because on the same way, we're all that way. I'm still working on and going to continue for the rest of my life. That's a skill that you can always improve on. Learning how to use effective communication is a skill that will help benefit anybody in almost any part of their lives. It can help your dating life, your married life. If you're a parent, communication with your kids is huge and it's tough. Believe me, I know I want you to think about your life for a second and think about how learning these new communication skills can help impact an area of your life. Okay, so let's jump into the fax. The average worker spends approximately 50% of his or her day communicating. So let me ask you, if you spent that much time of your workday communicating, wouldn't you think communication is a good skill set to level up? I'm sure it will increase your productivity by leaps and bounds. Whatever job you have now and in the future, you will have to communicate with others. Supervisors may be involved in communication for 75% or more of their work day. It is essential for people in leadership positions to understand out, to communicate effectively and to delegate to their teams. So learning how to master this ability and obtain high level of communication skills should be a goal for every leader. It's estimated that 80% of serious medical errors involved miscommunication between caregivers during the transfer of patients. So if you work in the medical field, being able to effectively communicate may be the difference between life and death and possibly a lawsuit. Don't take this skill for granted. Communication is related to almost every human activity. With that being said, no matter what we do in life, communication will always play a role, so it should be your duty to learn to do it properly. Immediately after a 10 minute presentation, the average listener has heard, understood and retained Onley 50% of what was said. That drops 25% within 48 hours. And that's only after a 10 minute presentation. Think about listening to someone for an hour. How much are you going to remember what they set out to that our Not much. These facts are just to make you really understand the importance of communication. I don't mean toe harp on this, but I just want you to really understand, and I feel like it really need to emphasize how much of a big role communication plays in our daily lives. 3. Self Check Up Checklist: I want to share with you a simple communication tool I like to use. It's called a self check communication checklists. The list has five things to keep in mind when speaking to people and when you're giving any type of direction. Number one. Make sure you're focused. Focusing on something takes effort and energy. If you can take all your energy and focus on one thing, nothing would be too difficult for you to figure out. You would be able to master all things if you can simply focus on just one at a time. Or at least that's just my opinion. Number two. Make sure your brain isn't on autopilot. The mind has a tendency of selecting a certain amount of information to retain before your attention is divided with other thoughts, and you're not even actively listening to the other party anymore. This is what we refer to as daydreaming, you know, when your mind just kind of wonders off in the middle of class while the teacher is giving a boring lecture. We've all done it all right. I'm guilty of that as well. Number three. Make sure you clarify your expectations now. This is a Big one. Misfortune can come from miscommunication, and that simply means when you miss communicate, people usually misinterpret and things don't go as smoothly as you would like them to. As my seafood always says, slow, smooth and smooth is fast. So take your time and learn to clarify what you're conveying to others. Number four. Make sure you explain and show how you want something done. People tend to execute tasks and learn better with a proper example of what needs to be done. So don't just say it. Live it. Do it. I like to think if you want it done properly, then show me how to do it. First Number five. Make sure you let the expectation be known up front to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding. You should always let your people know what you expect of them when you're giving orders and directives. When people know what your expectations are, it helps them accomplish a task more efficiently because they have a greater understanding of what's expected of them. Doing this right can save you time and money as well as heartache and pain so you can use this communication tool not only in your professional life, but even more so in your personal life. Parents. When you're speaking with your kids, you should always keep this checklist in the back of your mind. If you use this tool right, it can improve the communication in any relationship. 4. Three Levels of Listening: Let's talk about the three levels of listening now. This is very important. So the first level is passive. Listening with second level is attending listening and the third level is active listening . So passive listening generally involves giving the person no more than the time to express what's on their mind, meaning that you're not really listening to what they're saying, even though you can hear what is being said. Too many people operate on this level of listening, and that is not good. No bueno. If you want people to listen and pay attention to you, then you need to listen and pay attention to them. When you are on Lee passively listening, you won't be able to retain any information that is being said, or at least not a lot very little, very little. Now a good example of this is when you are speaking with somebody while they're on their mobile device. Instead of giving you their undivided attention, their attention is divided between you and whatever app they're using. Now the attending level of listening refers to saying, I see interesting, you don't say and behaviors such as nodding and I contact doing these things makes the conversation a little more engaging, and it makes the person that's talking feel like they're being listened to. Now this is doing a little better than passive listening, but it's still not the best type of listening you can do. The best type of listening that everyone should do is active listening. Now. Active Listening is using listening techniques that require your full engagement and participation by learning techniques on how toe actively listen. You, in turn, increase your level, your skill level in communicating as well as your skill level. In data gathering, you will begin to understand how to decipher information and tell what's most important. Toe what's least and remember this in the conversation, big people monopolized listening while small people monopolized the talking. I'll let you just think on that for a little bit. All right, talk to you later. 5. The Attending Skill: Let's quickly talk about the attending skill. Here are four listening techniques you can start using for yourself if you don't already use them. Number one hi Contact. The expected amount of eye contact varies from culture to culture, but appropriate eye contact is important. It shows the other person that you are engaged in the conversation and interested in what they have to say. Number two. A posture of involvement. This could be standing or sitting, perhaps leaning forward with the body facing the speaker. Body position clearly indicates attention and interest number three. Ignoring potential distractions. Potential distractions include phones, computers, other people walking past as well as your own thoughts. Try to focus your full attention on the person speaking like a laser beam. Number four. Encouragement. Total silence is often taken as a sign of boredom or inattention. The speaker needs occasional encouragement in the form of Uh huh oh, I see you don't say. And then what happened? And etcetera, etcetera. The's do not imply agreement or disagreement. Just attention. Now, I know these techniques are very simple, but you know the simple things are usually the most powerful. If you already used these techniques then go out and teach them to other people. And for those who weren't familiar with them, go out and start practicing and using them and gain new perspective and level up your listening abilities. 6. The Paraphrasing Technique: So we're going to switch gears and learn about paraphrasing and why. In my view, it is a very important technique to know and to understand now paraphrases an accurate response to the person who speaking, which states the essence of the speaker's words in the listeners own words. To put it another way, to paraphrase, is to express the meaning of something written or spoken, using different words, especially to achieve greater clarity. So if I'm talking to someone and they're explaining something to me, what I would do is paraphrase what they just said. But in my own words, for example, if my wife is talking about her day and what she did at work, you know she's explaining the process of doing something someone's taxes to me. So she says, Hebe apes, one of my clients got all upset because they didn't receive the whole amount they expected from their tax return, and they threw a fit in the office. And so I would say so. They got mad because it was less than what they thought. It's a simple is that so Now let's talk about what goes into paraphrasing Oh, and a quick side note my wife really doesn't sound like that, but that was the best impersonation I could do. So yeah, Anyway, let's get back to this info. So the essential elements of paraphrasing are number one. Condense a good paraphrases accurate. When people begin using this technique, they tend to be too wordy. A paraphrase should be shorter than the speakers. Statement number two on Lee. The essentials. An effective pair of phrase reflects on Lee the essentials of the speakers message. It cuts through the clutter of details and focuses on what is central in the speaker's message. Number three focused on information, another characteristic of a pair of phrases that it focuses on the content of speakers message. It deals with the facts or ideas rather than the emotions the sender is expressing. Even though a firm distinction between fax and feelings is artificial Pair phrasing focuses on the content of the message. Number four stated in the listener's own words. Listeners summarises their understanding of what they heard in their own words, repeating the speakers exact words which some people call it. Parenting usually stifles or dries up Our conversation, while paraphrasing when used appropriately, can contribute greatly to the communication between people. So let's take a look at another example of paraphrasing. Here's person A. I want to bring you up to speed on a particular project. I talked with Claire at headquarters yesterday. She has been meeting with people at this state for weeks about the funding. Things sound really up in the air. She cautioned me about starting into this until we know more might happen. Might not. So one way we can paraphrase a statement is by saying so. The whole project is dependent on whether or not state funding comes through, and that's just a quick example. But there's many ways, to paraphrase always remember, paraphrasing is very useful because it shows the person or people while you're talking to that, you are actively listening to them and that you understand what they're communicating with you believe me, this skill helps a whole lot, especially in meetings with important people in your career and life 7. Asking Questions: Let's talk about the usefulness of asking questions. Now, the effective use of questions can have a positive effect on the communication process. There are two types of questions closed, ended and open ended in many situations. Both types of questions will be helpful. So let's first take a look at close and it questions. Close ended questions are generally used when you are looking for a simple response. They could be answered in one or two words. They are useful to confirm information or clarify your understanding. They lead to specific answers, their tools that are very useful in situations that require specific bits of information. For example, person a wood acts. How many modules did you complete today? And Person B would say, Oh, about one or two, and then person a wood acts. Can we schedule another meeting? And then person B would say Sure, And then person A would ask, Is everything going okay for you here? Person B would say Yep, totally fine. You see what I mean? Now let's take a look at open ended, Open ended questions are used when you want to go more in depth. They cannot be answered in one or two words, They require explanations. They're useful in situations that require an understanding of all the factors involved. They tend to begin with what, how, tell me, describe and explain. They're sometimes phrase as statements, so a good example of an open ended question would be. So what do you think? People like working here? Or you can also say, What do we need to do to help you succeed? And again, you can also say, What do you like about your life? These are all good examples because they kind of force people to talk more and do more of an explanation instead of just giving like a one word answer. So try those tools out and you'll be surprised when you axe questions. Understanding how tax a question understanding between open ended question and close ended questions. It works great, too, especially when you have kids like, you know, close to being teenagers. And you really want to know what's going on. You know the type of questions to ask. Okay, so I want to do an activity with you and no, you're not getting created on this, So don't worry. Don't break out in hives and start breathing all hard, right? So here's the instructions. I want you to write 1 to 2 questions for the following situation. That you could acts to gain information and understanding this activity is to help make sure you understand the proper use of open ended questions. Some example. Starters for open ended questions are these. How are you? What do you think? Tell me about describe and say more about. So with that in mind, let's go over the situation together. A good friend of yours just stopped by toe, acts for some advice, there, having issues with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Lately, they have been canceling dates and acting strange. Your friend thinks that they're cheating on them, but they're not sure. What could you act your friend to get more information about the situation. So I want you to go ahead and pause the module right and started back up once you wrote down your two questions. Okay, Uh, 1 to 2. But try due to all right. And we'll go over the situation in a moment. And I'll tell you what, I would acts all right. No cheating. Okay. Remember, you're not cheating me. You're cheating yourself. So you know, we're going by honor rule. All right, so right. Your questions and then started up again. Okay, so let's go over this real quick. In my point of view, your friend could be overthinking things, so you need to gain more information in order for you to get a better understanding. So one thing I would have acts is can you give me more details about how they've been acting strange or can you say more about when you started to notice the weird behavior? Something of that nature? What we really want to get is the person to talk more and give us more information. I chose that scenario because I'm pretty sure most people have probably experienced something like this before. And if not this, then something similar. But always keep in mind that perception trumps intent. I'll say that again. Perception trumps intent. So, to paraphrase, even though you have very good intentions, people might not see things the same way you do. So you must be very accurate and clear with how you communicate so as to not make people perceive you in the wrong way. 8. Expressing Empathy: empathy is the identifying and understanding of another situation and emotions, even if not in agreement with them. Empathy is an essential skill for people tohave, especially those in leadership positions. Stephen Cove A. Wrote a book called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and in the book Habit five is seek first to understand, then to be understood principles of empathic communication. So in it, CoV writes. And I quote, empathic listening is so powerful because it gives you accurate data toe work with. Instead of projecting your own autobiography and assuming thoughts, feelings, motives and interpretation, you're dealing with the reality inside another person's head and heart. You're listening toe. Understand? When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air. And after that vital need is met, you can then focus on influencing or problem solving this need for psychological air impacts, communication every area of life. End quote. Empathy is a powerful communication technique because it allows you to show another person that you care and are truly listening to them. Once you can do that, people tend to open up their hearts more to you, so let's take a quick look at the empathic response formula. This is a very simple equation that will help you with your responses for empathy. When speaking with someone, The formula is very simple. It's opener plus emotion. What that means is, when you respond to the person, you would pair the opening of your response toe on emotion. So let's go over some examples of some openers that you can, um, pair with emotions. So first opener you can say is I can see how. Then you can put the emotion How annoying Xia annoying. That is where I can see how exciting that is, where I can see how intriguing that is. All right, so another opener would be That sounds so you can say. And that sounds disappointing or man, that sounds shocking. Or a man that sounds exhausting. Another opener you can uses. I can imagine. So you can say I can imagine how exasperatingly at IHS or I can imagine how infuriating it is. I cannot. I can imagine how exciting that can be. Another one is another openers. How? Okay, so you can say how exhausting or how shocking or how terrifying you know, how concerning another one is Wow, that's men. So you can say, Wow, that's exciting. Oh, wow, that's that's annoying. Or a while that shocking or something like that. All right. Another opener would be, um, that must be so you can say that must be very satisfying or that must be very concerning to hear. So these are, you know, the some examples. So now let's take a look at a quick situation that you can use thes this'll Formula Four. So let's say person a comes to you and says, Man, I didn't pass my math exam today. So now person beacon say, I can imagine how disappointing that is, and that's it. It's a very simple and yet very useful technique to use. Using this technique can be very beneficial in building connections with people. So let's take a look at one more example of expressing empathy. So person A says I had a really good time at work today. My boss said, I'm doing excellent work. Then person B can say that sounds very satisfying. And let me just say this before finishing. Communicating with other people is not an exact science attending skills, questions, paraphrasing and empathy support the exchange of information and understanding between people. With that said, there is not a regiment set of precise procedures that you always follow to be successful. The more you learn about communication, and the more you practice using principles and techniques, the more successful you will be. So, to paraphrase, it's not an exact science. Just use what you got. All right, the more experience you get, the better you're going to get at it. 9. Outro to course: Now that you've learned all those new communications skills, techniques and tools, try to use what you learn every day, even if it's a small conversation in any type of communication, Try to keep those skills in the foreground of your mind By using those new tools and techniques that you've learned you will develop and maintain your communication skills. This will help you in many aspects of your life, not only at work not only professionally but personally as well. I hope that you got something out of the course, and I appreciate you taking the time to listen to me, so I just want to say thanks and take care.