How to Practice Mindfulness & Mindful Meditation | D'Yonna Riley | Skillshare

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How to Practice Mindfulness & Mindful Meditation

teacher avatar D'Yonna Riley, Life & Health Coach

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
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Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

12 Lessons (1h 9m)
    • 1. Intro

    • 2. What is Mindfulness?

    • 3. History of Mindfulness

    • 4. Science of Mindfulness

    • 5. Common Mindfulness Mistakes

    • 6. Recognizing Unmindful Behavior

    • 7. Understanding the Pain Body

    • 8. Uncovering Self Defeating Beliefs

    • 9. Learning to Say "No"

    • 10. Learning to Live Your “Truth”

    • 11. Creating Your Meditation Practice

    • 12. Wrapping It Up

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About This Class

Is it normal for you to get lost in thought? Do you often think about the past? Or worry about the future?

According to Thích Nhất Hạnh, “the present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.”

In today’s world, many of our minds are rooted in the past or the future. Focusing on the past can cause feelings of depression, pain, and self-loathing. On the other hand, focusing on the future can elicit feelings of anxiety and fear. Constantly living in these states results in suffering, hence why stress, sleepless nights, poor concentration, physical ailments, and aimlessly trudging through life has become the norm for many of us.

Fortunately, you have the power to change your experience of life. By learning to live in the here and now, you will develop a sense of contentment and appreciation for the ebbs and flows in life. Also, with increased mindfulness comes increased self-awareness. You will better understand and value yourself.

In this course, we’ll focus on easing suffering by bringing our minds to the present moment. This course is for beginners. You do not need previous knowledge of mindfulness or meditation, as I will make sure you have the foundational knowledge. Each lesson is followed by mindfulness exercises. Additionally, students will receive a Mindfulness eBook at the end of the course.

This course is for you if:

  • You’re curious about mindfulness
  • Don’t know where to start
  • You're having a difficult time incorporating the practice

Follow me and together we will learn how to leverage mindfulness to create a happier life experience.

Meet Your Teacher

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D'Yonna Riley

Life & Health Coach


A New York Native, D'Yonna lives her life with zest and purpose. She's a Certified Professional Coach, through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. She also has a background in holistic health from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. D'Yonna received her bachelor's in Psychology from Seton Hall University, where she also played on the women's soccer team.

Through her coaching programs, workshops, courses, and speaking events, she supports individuals in building resilience, bringing more joy and purpose into their lives, and taking charge of their healing.

In her free time, she likes to study Astrology, spend time in nature, and develop healthy recipes. D’Yonna is a lover of travel, laughter, & the little things in life.

See full profile

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1. Intro: I'm so happy that you've come across this course on practicing mindfulness and mindful meditation. My name is Diana, and I'll be your instructor. I began this practice along my health journey. When I realized that stress worsened my auto-immune conditions, I made it a priority to meditate and become more mindful. I'm here to share with you everything I've learned thus far. My course on mindfulness helps busy people learn how to stay present and aware of their thoughts so they can live a peaceful and healthy life that is free of anxiety and stress. After taking this course, you'll have solid knowledge of everything from the history of mindfulness to how to manage your emotional pain body. So if you take a look next to me, I'm going to show you what bonuses come with this course. After each lesson, you'll have access to a meditation and a worksheet. There'll be a total of ten worksheets, some of which are shown here. These worksheets are focused on helping you raise your self-awareness. After all, awareness is the catalyst for transformation. You also get this beautiful e-book that covers everything in the lessons. Although you can come back to the videos that anytime this e-book is a great way for you to revisit information we go over. This supplemental material will be incredibly useful throughout your mindfulness journey. Again, I'm so excited that you're here and can't wait to see you in the course. 2. What is Mindfulness?: Before we begin, find a relaxed, comfortable position. You may sit on a chair, on the floor or lay down. Make sure your spine and neck are upright but comfortable. And that your hands are resting comfortably, either in your lap or wherever feels good to you. Touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Gently close your eyes and let yourself relax. Tune into your body. It's sensations, its connection with the chair or the floor. Your bed. Relaxed the areas of tension in your body. Soften your legs, stomach, chest, shoulders, arms, your jaw, cheeks, forehead. Gently release that tension and relax. Tune into the natural flow of the breath in your body. Breathe as you normally would. But pay attention to your inhale and exhale. Observe the sensations of the breath in your body. Maybe feel the breath in your abdomen, chest, nostrils. Feel the sensations one breath at a time. Notice the temperature of the air against your nostrils. Is it cold on the inhale? Exhale or shallow? Notice, but they feel like in your body. Take a minute to observe. As you focus on your breath, your mind may wander. This is perfectly normal. So be con to yourself. When this happens, gently redirect your attention back to your breath. We're going to see with this for another minute. And again, if your mind begins to wander, gently, guide your thoughts back to the breath. Notice how relaxed you are and allow yourself to relax more deeply. Offer yourself some appreciation for completing this practice. You may want to gently wiggle your toes and fingers to bring yourself back. And when you feel ready, gently open your eyes. What you've just practiced is mindfulness. Welcome to this mindfulness and mindful meditation course. We will begin by briefly going over what you've just experienced and further explaining what mindfulness is. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention in the present moment. It is a deliberate act of regulating your attention through the observation of your thoughts, emotions, and body states. The key to this practice is doing so intentionally and non-judgmentally. Just a few minutes ago, you were able to be present by tuning into something inherently rooted in the present moment. Your breath. This is what is known as mindful breathing. One of the most common mindfulness practices is just being aware of your breath. The breath is our connection to the here and now. You cannot simultaneously focus on your breath and what you did ten minutes ago, or what you're going to do ten minutes from now. Breathing exercises aren't the only way that we can practice mindfulness. We can also practice mindful eating, mindful listening, mindful body scans, mindful walking. Among many other mindfulness practices. We'll go over these practices in a later lesson. Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, coined the term monkey mind. Many years ago. Monkey mind is a metaphor that describes the natural chaotic state of the untrained mind. Buddha described the human mind as being filled with Drunken Monkey is jumping around from limb to limb, screeching and chattering. He urged his disciples to develop a mind like a Force dear, noting that deer are able to remain aware and alert no matter the circumstances. Buddha encouraged this of his disciples because he knew the impact of the monkey mind. The monkey mind is the part of your brain that's most connected to the ego. The ego is fueled by fear. Its mission is to protect you from threats and from losing what you have. Fears and especially loud monkey. It is highly critical and unfulfilled. It insist that you can't do anything right, causing feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. It also stifles your creativity and prevents you from pursuing your passions. The monkey mind uses fear to hold you back. It is also the part of your brain that gets easily distracted, preventing you from getting anything done. One of the biggest obstacles to being focused on the present moment is the monkey mind. Psychologists from Harvard University found that people spend almost 47% of their waking hours lost in thought. Thinking about the past, future or things that may not even happen can negatively impact our happiness. To come. This part of the mind comes with great benefits, but doing so takes lot of discipline and awareness. Mindfulness is the means through which we tame the monkey mind. By developing mindfulness practice, we open ourselves up to receiving many benefits and all aspects of our well-being. Some of the proven benefits of mindfulness are decreased rumination, better ability to maintain attention and focus, improved working memory, less emotional reactivity, greater cognitive flexibility, and greater relationship satisfaction. And perhaps one of the biggest benefits of becoming more mindful is feeling less stressed. Stress doesn't only affect us mentally and emotionally. Chronic stress takes a toll and our body's immune system, making us more likely to develop unwanted health conditions. Sarah Eleazar, a neuroscientist at Harvard Medical School, assesses brain structures of those who engage in meditation. One of her studies focused on people who had never meditated before. These participants attended a mindfulness based stress reduction training program on a weekly basis. In addition, they participated in daily mindfulness exercises. Lives are noticed that mindfulness meditation affected various brain structures. More specifically, a decreased the size of the amygdala. The amygdala is in charge of how we regulate our emotions. So that decrease in size indicated that the fight or flight response or the reaction to threats also decreases. Having a smaller amygdala, you will better react to stress. Mindfulness can help you feel calmer and more in control, positively impacting your stress response. Before we get into the next lesson, I want you to complete the mindfulness inventory. Be sure to answer these questions honestly, because the results will inform you of your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to mindfulness. As you continue through the rest of this course, you'll learn tools and skills that will help you become more mindful and turn those weaknesses into strengths. 3. History of Mindfulness: Welcome back to Lesson two. And this lesson, we're going to explore the roots of mindfulness and where it all began. Although the concept of mindfulness can be found in Hindu traditions that predated and influence Buddhism. Mindfulness still has roots in Buddhism. Over 2400 years ago, Siddhartha Gautama, also known as Buddha, integrated mindfulness into the heart of his teachings. But Tom was born a prince in Nepal because his parents wanted him to be a powerful ruler. They shields at him from the suffering and true nature of the world. However, they couldn't keep the Tama naive for long. Gautama was eventually exposed to inevitability of impermanence and suffering. And he was inspired to leave his royal lay to discover Enlightenment. After pursuing his spiritual path for years, the Talmud decided to meditate at a place called Bodh Gaya. It was here that he reached enlightenment. Upon reaching enlightenment, gets Hama became Buddha or the awakened one. Now Buddha was highly sought after by people of all castes and professions. He encouraged his students to question his teachings and confirm them through their own experience. One of Buddhist teachings was the Eightfold Path, which outlined the eight steps to the path of enlightenment. These steps included, right understanding, which entails seeing the world and everything in it as it is not how we want or believe it to be, right intent or recognizing the equality of all life and having compassion for it yourself included. Third, was writes the h, which is recognition of the truth. It also includes understanding the impact of gossip and unkind words. Fourth is right action or taking an ethical approach to life and consider it others. Another teaching of the Eightfold Path was right livelihood. Right Livelihood entailed undertaking work that has a respect for life. Then there is right effort, which is cultivating an enthusiastic, positive attitude. He also taught right mindfulness, which is being aware and focused on the present moment and our actions in that moment. And the last teaching of the Eightfold Path was right concentration. Right concentration relates to selecting worthy directions to concentrate the mind. The step that I really want to focus on is right mindfulness. The concept of mindfulness was in Buddhist teachings long ago. He showed his students how to integrate this awareness and to their everyday lives. This teaching equipped his students to recognize harmful patterns and habits. It also unable to students to see how limiting fear can be in regards to our actions and possible futures. Although mindfulness has its roots in Eastern countries, there were several figures from Western countries that contributed to the spread of this practice. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn was a molecular biology Ph.D. student who also studied under the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hahn. He used his scientific and Buddhist knowledge to craft and adapted version of Buddhist mindfulness known as Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. His work has inspired the use of mindfulness and other areas of medical practice. Sharon Salsberg is the pioneer in the field of meditation. She founded the Insight Meditation Society, which was the first westerner meditation center established in the United States. She has played a crucial role in bringing mindfulness to the west. If you haven't yet completed the mindfulness inventory, you'll want to do that before moving on to the next lesson. Everything we do is going to build off of your inventory results. After you complete the assessment, I want you to carefully look at your results and identify areas of opportunity. Printout the downloadable worksheets and rank these areas from most to least opportunity. This exercise is going to help you understand what areas of mindfulness you need the most support in. 4. Science of Mindfulness: In this lesson, we're going to dive into the science of mindfulness. Scientists are continually working to examine the benefits of mindfulness. There are five categories of benefits that have generally been accepted by the scientific community. The first, our cognitive benefits, mindfulness has proven to improve focus, attention, and problem-solving. These cognitive benefits can last up to five years. Smaller scale studies suggest that these results can benefit individuals with ADHD. More research is needed to confirm this conclusion. Secondly, our mental and physical benefits. In the first lesson, we briefly discussed the physical impact of stress on the body. While mindfulness has been proven to increase resilience to stress. In other words, it helps the mind and body bounce back from stress. This not only has a mental and emotional impact, but also physical one. Knowing how stress affects our health and wellness. Neuroscience research also found that mindfulness decreases activity and then medulla. It also increases the connections between the medulla and prefrontal cortex, parts of the brain that impact how we handle stress. Third, our relationship benefits. Couples that practice mindfulness benefit from reduced cortisol, which is a stress hormone. Less cortisol means we're less hostile and better equipped to handle conflict resolution. Mindfulness was also proven to have a positive impact on how individuals deal with break-ups or divorce. Next are parenting benefits. Those who parent mindfully tend to have better relationships with their children. And last, mindfulness has been associated with reducing racial prejudice. Individuals who complete mindfulness training are less likely to show prejudice behavior and attitudes. Studies have shown this in regards to both race and homelessness, it is evident that this practice can reduce psychological bias. Plenty more studies have been conducted exploring the benefits of mindfulness. But these are some of the core categories those benefits fall into. There are two studies that I'd like to bring attention to. These are a couple of my personal favorites because they show how mindfulness can benefit everyone regardless of age, gender, or stage in life. The first study is in regards to prisoners. A maximum security prison offered Vipassana meditation for its inmates. It wasn't intensive 10-day meditation retreat. Upon completing the retreat, long-term offenders showed greater emotional intelligence and less mood disturbance. This initial research highlights the potential for mindfulness to improve self-regulation and impulse control. These skills often posed challenges when prisoners reenter the community and are forced to adjust. So integrating mindfulness practices into prison systems might result in decreased recidivism rates because prisoners are cultivating a skill set that will help them thrive upon their release from prison. The second study I want to highlight is in regards to fifth grade girls, a 10-week yoga program and other mindfulness practices increased the girl satisfaction with their bodies. They were less concerned about their weight. This study shows the impact that mindfulness can have on self-acceptance and feelings towards yourself. This is especially important when you live in a world that communicates unrealistic beauty standards. As you can see from these studies, mindfulness has the ability to transform each of us individually by transforming ourselves. We can then transform our homes. When a few homes are transformed, it ignites change within a city. When a city is transformed in influences the steed, which influences the country, which influences the world's. However, it all begins with you. Now that you have a foundational understanding of mindfulness, its origins, and the science behind it. We're going to dive deeper into what this practice is all about and how you can integrate it into your life. You've completed the mindfulness inventory and bring to your areas of opportunity. Now I want you to craft and intention for the first item on your shortlist. As a reminder, and intention is the message you give yourself about what you're planning on doing. At the end of this course, What will you hope to have achieved? For example, if the first item on my shortlist is getting lost and my feelings, my intention might be when I'm lost in my feelings. I have several strategies to help bring me to the present moment. 5. Common Mindfulness Mistakes: You've made it to less than for moving forward. We're going to discuss how to build the foundation for becoming a more mindful person. In this lesson, we'll go over the common challenges that people face when building a mindfulness practice. Before we dive deeper, it's important to understand that mistakes are a huge part of the human experience. Each of us is here to learn and grow and to our highest selves. Mistakes and challenges are catalysts for learning. That being said, there are four common mistakes that people encounter on their path to becoming more mindful. Let's go over them in more detail so that you have a better understanding. The first mistake is not setting aside time to meditate. Mindfulness is like muscle. In order to increase a muscle strength, you must exercise. It's a lot like going to the gym to get into shape. It requires discipline to see results. Meditation is an exercise that strengthens our at mindfulness muscle. The more you practice meditation, the stronger your ability to be mindful in your everyday life. One of the misconceptions that people have about meditation is that it needs to be done alone. However, group meditations are just as effective. And perhaps a great way to start out because you'll have others to hold you accountable. Another misconception is that you need to meditate for a long period of time. If you're just beginning to practice mindfulness, this is an unrealistic expectation. It's important to be patient with yourself and acknowledge that it takes time to form new habits. Meditating for five minutes is just as valuable as meditating for 30 minutes. If you recall, the studies are reviewed in previous lessons. Some participants practiced mindfulness for one hour, while others practiced for ten weeks. However, they all benefited from the practice in some form or fashion. Also, remember that you might be able to meditate for 20 minutes on one day and five minutes than Xt. That's okay. Refrained from self judgment and meet yourself where you are. One way to develop a disciplined meditation practice is to create a schedule. We'll discuss this in a later lesson. The second mindfulness mistake is having too high expectations. By this, I mean, expecting to see the benefits of meditation immediately, we must not only be patient with ourselves, but also be patient with how quickly book experience the benefit. With mindfulness, we are essentially rewiring the most intricate organ in the human body, the brain. That re-wiring impacts how we show up in the world. Depending on how old you are. You're brain has spent many years firing the same in neural pathways and functioning in the same way. It is unrealistic to expect your chemistry to change after one mindfulness practice. Focus more on the journey and less on the result. Because with discipline, the results will come. Trust that every minute you invest in your mindfulness practice brings you one step closer to the transformation you desire. The third most common mistake is assuming that you must stop thinking when meditating. Meditation is not about stopping thoughts, as it is natural for the mind to think. It is about becoming aware of how we get caught up in our thoughts and emotions and learning to find comfort in sitting still. This looks like watching our thoughts non-judgmentally, acknowledging them and then letting them go. Rather than reacting to a thought, you observe it curiously and let it pass. Again. This is an opportunity for you to show yourself compassion. If your thoughts run away from you at 30 times during one mindfulness practice. That's OK. In fact, it's perfectly normal. The power is in realizing that your thoughts have gotten away from you those 30 times and bringing them back to the present moment. The last mistake is wanting to meditate the right way. I want to first out that right and wrong are judgments. They are a form of dualistic thinking that doesn't actually exist. Meditation is not a one size fits all approach. The way one person taps into their inner peace may not be how you tap into your inner peace. Your way of meditating is something that you have to discover for yourself, except where you are. Instead of judging where you are. You've taken the mindfulness inventory and you've set an intention for this course. Now I want you to think about some of the challenges you're facing and cultivating mindfulness. Your challenges might relate to the four mistakes we discussed in this lesson, or they may be entirely different. Either way, they likely stem from some form of self judgment. I would like for you to step away from this judgment and reframe the challenge as a growth opportunity. Remember that a very important part of meditation is compassion. By having compassion towards ourselves during our practice, we develop the ability to have greater compassion for others. Think of one way in which you can show your self-compassion in handling this obstacle. 6. Recognizing Unmindful Behavior: This lesson will focus on recognizing and mindful behavior. That sense of mindfulness is awareness of the present moment. Up until now, we focused on awareness of your breath because the breath is rooted in the present moment. However, the act of recognizing when you are showing up in an unmanned full way is actually very mindful. You cannot change something that you were not aware of. So by becoming aware of how you're showing up and give yourself the choice to change your behavior. You can choose to continue John the unmanned, full rude, or take the mindful route instead. With choice comes power. The Beziers better mentality is not actually ideal for our well-being. When we pride ourselves in being busy and accomplishing task after task after task, we never give ourselves the time to slow down. We're always thinking about the next thing. On top of that, we live in a technologically advanced world. Our ancestors spent a lot of their free time in nature. But today, our free time is spent getting lost and Instagram and Facebook feeds or binge watching Netflix without realizing it, the nature of our lives has become far less mindful, which is why it's important to be intentional and conscious about your practice. Lastly, we live in a world where there's an abundance of information and choice. Information and choice when used wisely, can empower us. However, they can also contribute to regret and fear, pulling us away from the present moment. Lack of mindfulness can show up in every aspect of life. We see it in the most mundane activities as well as the most complex ones. Let's look at a few examples. Mindfully walking, looks like paying attention to your surroundings and where you're going. You're busy daydreaming and accidentally bump into someone on the sidewalk, you're exhibiting a lack of mindfulness. Mindfully exercising, looks like being in tune with your body sensations as you're completing each exercise. If you're constantly looking at your watch to see when the session is over, you're not being President and are therefore being on mindful. On mindful eating is wildly exhibited in the world today. As I mentioned, we pride ourselves in being busy bees so much so that we eat on the go and really take the time to sit down and enjoy our meals. Rushing through meals, or scrolling through your phone as you eat is on mindful behavior. Mindful eating would entail observing the taste, texture, and smell of your food and relishing everybody. At some point or another, you've likely had to complete a task that you felt unmotivated to do. Perhaps you caught yourself surfing the Internet instead of doing your work. Again, this is on mindful. Mindful behavior in this instance would look like paying full attention to the task at hand. Lastly, many of us are on mindful and the conversations we have. Instead of listening attentively to what others are saying, we think about something else while they are talking, or we think about our own response. We are not present to the conversation. This is how mindfulness and lack of mindfulness shows up in our everyday lives. Whether or not you relate to these examples, the message still stands. By recognizing that we are being on mindful. We are given the opportunity to course correct and choose the path of mindfulness. And you will experience moments of mindfulness. There's nothing to be ashamed of when that happens because it's a natural part of the human experience. However, most people go about their lives, not even recognizing there and mindful behavior. When you become an observer and recognize what's going on, you have the beautiful opportunity to gently and non-judgmentally correct yourself. At this point, you may be wondering what to do when you have to think about the past or the future. It is inevitable that at some point you will have to analyze your experiences and to make plans. Thinking about the past or the future is only on mindful if it is rooted in the monkey mind. In other words, if it's incessant mind chatter that is unfocused and gets in the way of other activity is it will constitute as an mindful. One way to mindfully think about the past or the future is to set aside a time for this reflection. This strategy is focused and intentional. We've spoken a lot about how the busier is better mentality takes away from the present moment. Let's dive deeper as to why this is the case. The vizier is better mentality places a lot of emphasis on doing. Doing means to engage in an activity and get things done. Because of this emphasis on doing, we become attached to our actions. But these actions are often tied to the past or future. Oftentimes, the actions we take are to prevent something in the past from happening again. To avoid something in the future, or to achieve something in the future. Although our actions are completed in the present moment, they have ties elsewhere. The more empowering narrative is to lean in to the fact that we are human beings. Being means existence. We cannot exist in the past or the future. We can only exist in the present. So by focusing on how you show up, you're inherently being present and mindful. Because the only time in which you can be is the. Now. The interesting thing about being is that in influences doing, how we choose to show up will influence our actions. For example, if my intention is to be healthy, I'm probably not going to binge eat ice cream. Instead, I might attend a fitness class or cook myself a healthy dinner. Whatever situation presents itself, you will act in accordance with how you choose to show up in the present moment. So how can we make it doing versus being more tangible? One strategy is to replace your to-do list with a 2B list. Instead of writing a laundry lists of tasks to complete, Think about who you need to be in the present moment to complete those items. Translate those characteristics into a 2B list. Throughout the day, focus on what you can do each moment to be that person. The second part of your assignment is to practice mindful eating the food you consume. Practice in the moment awareness by observing the taste of the food, the feeling of it in your mouth, the smell of it, the colour. Take small bites, Chu thoroughly and slowly. Try to identify the ingredients within the food. 7. Understanding the Pain Body: Lesson six, we'll focus on understanding the pain body. By understanding the pain body, we can use mindfulness to lessen the impact of negative emotions. First, it's essential to understand what the pain body is to begin with. The pain body as an emotional pain living within you. Every time we face a painful situation, we either assimilate they experienced positively or we do not. The pain body is made up of those experiences that we did not affectively face or deal with. These painful experiences create a negative energy field that impacts the mind and body. Pain bodies can be either dormant or active. A pain body may be dormant 90% of the time. But in a deeply unhappy person, it may be active at 100% of the time. Some live entirely through their pain body, while others only experience it in certain situations and circumstances. The point is that we all develop pain bodies from algebra on dealt with past experiences. And as we go through the journey of life, there are instances when this pain body is triggered. Pain bodies can be activated if they are ready to awaken from their dormant stage. Or if something in the current moment resonates with a pain pattern from the past. When the pain body is activated, it can be obnoxious and harmless or a vicious and destructive, more destructive pain bodies can cause you to attack those around you, or even yourself, DO drive you into negativity and self destruction. This is important to understand because the pain body feeds off of negative energy. So in order for it to be sustained, more negative energy must be produced. The pain body produces more negative energy by generating conflict with others. You're hurtful words and actions trigger the pain bodies of others, creating more negativity to keep your pain body active. And active pain body can show itself in the form of irritation, impatience, somber nis, a desired to hurts, anger, rage, depression, dramas, seeking, and so on. When the pain body becomes active, it's as if you become a different person. This other person gets sucked into the cycle of keeping the pain alive for yourself and others. So what are some triggers that activate the pain body? There are many, but listed here are a handful that you might relate to. These are emotional triggers that remind you of old, painful feelings and experiences. Being rejected by someone, someone leaving you, someone ignoring you, someone being unavailable to you, someone shaming you, being judged or criticized, someone being too busy for you, someone trying to control you, someone being needy towards you, receiving disapproval from others. When we experience an emotional trigger, it impacts how we show up in the world around us. Maybe we become angry, compliant, needing withdrawn, or blame full. Let me give you an example. Consider a woman whose parents were neither physically or emotionally available. Likely this woman was forced to grow up sooner at a young age. Perhaps she's very independent and forced to take on more responsibility. Fast-forward to adulthood. This woman becomes angry, resentful, and maybe even needy when her husband constantly travels for work or what her children don't return her calls. As a result of her childhood, she's being triggered by unavailability. This woman must bring awareness to this trigger in order to begin healing her inner childs. By developing the ability to be mindful, you'll be able to accept your experience and the present moment and give your pain body less power. It takes mindfulness to recognize that our pain body has been activated. By becoming conscious of this activation, you can intentionally dissolve the pain you're experiencing. There are a few things you'll want to be mindful of in these situations. First, your internal dialogue, yourself talk, will begin to reflect the painful emotions of the past through interpretations and judgements. Our thoughts influence our feelings which shape our actions. This is why it's important to bring your attention to the voice in your head. Second shift into the role of the observer. Many of us get sucked in to our thoughts and it becomes a hamster wheel we can not get off of. Instead, observe the thoughts you have without becoming attached to them. Be curious about where these thoughts come from and ask yourself questions. If you do this enough, you'll start to recognize patterns. This will help you identify your trigger. Next, get in tune with your inner body. How does the emotion feel? The anger, resentment, neediness, sadness, blaming? Are these feelings you enjoy? What are you getting out of feeling this way? What would it feel like to non-judgmentally hold space for this experience and let its energy decrease. By observing these three areas, you are in fact practicing mindfulness. You're getting in touch with your thoughts and emotions to understand when and why the pain body is a weakening. Your awareness alone gives you the choice and therefore the power to prevent the pain body from dominating you. The homework for this lesson is to complete the emotional triggers worksheet. This worksheet will help you become more aware of the triggers you're giving your power up to. 8. Uncovering Self Defeating Beliefs: Now that we've discussed how to overcome the trauma that lives in the pain body. Let's talk about how we can use mindfulness to break the destructive cycle of negativity. Thoughts, feelings, and beliefs all feed into one another. Our thoughts and beliefs hold tremendous power over us. They impact how we feel and control the filter through which we see the world driving our actions. Our actions determine the results we get in life. This is a feedback loop that controls our lives. Let's look at an example. Imagine you've grown distant from your best friend. You could adopt the belief that you're unworthy of another's friendship. As a result, you'll feel lonely, withdrawing, and secure, sad, and topless. These feelings are going to impact how you show up. You'll probably be less likely to speak with others, go to social outings, network and branch out. As a result, you will not make new friends because you are not taking the actions or showing up in a way that would help you build some new friendships. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is one example of a self-defeating belief. But there are many more. I'm going to go through this list of common self-defeating beliefs and one type of circumstance these beliefs might lead to. First, there's perfectionism, which is when you feel you must never fail or make a mistake. Perfectionism might cause one to play small and not take risks, so they never have the concern of failure. Emotional perfectionism is thinking that you should always feel happy and didn't control. These individuals might feel lonely because they are just connected from their emotions and feel they cannot be vulnerable with others. Addiction to achievement is another self-defeating belief which revolves around basing your sense of worthiness on external accomplishments such as status, income, or career. Those who have this belief might find themselves constantly working for more, because what they have is never good enough. The superhuman belief fuels the expectation that one should always be strong and not show any weakness. Those with Superman or Superwoman syndrome have a do it all yourself mentality. And to my struggle to ask for help. Next, cis people pleasing, which emphasizes doing things to keep others happy and preserve your self-worth. These individuals often put others needs before their own. And at some point, elites to resentment. Fear of conflict is another self-defeating belief. Fear of conflict is all about avoiding confrontation and issues. These people stay silent, swallow the pain, and let things happen. They likely don't defend themselves. Entitlement is feeling that you should always get what you want. As a result. They aren't wants to compromise or take one for the team. They're more likely to create conflict as a result of acting selfishly. Blaming others is the next belief. This one is all about not taking responsibility for your problems. This belief causes one to fight and be angry at others, probably driving a wedge in relationships. Next is inferiority, or thinking that you're worthless and less than others. For those with this belief, maybe you don't speak up much because you don't think others care what you have to say. Last, we have hopelessness, which is essentially the belief that your problems will be solved and your life won't get better. The results of this belief is playing victim and not doing anything to improve your quality of life. As you can see, every belief affects how we show up and how we show up effects the results we get in life. Negative beliefs and thoughts lead to negative feelings which trigger negative actions and results in negative consequences. For the sake of time and simplicity, I've only mentioned one way in which these beliefs can impact us, but there are many more. If you associated with any of these beliefs. I encourage you to think about the impact that they've had on you and your life. I'm sure that by now, you're wondering how mindfulness comes into play. There are two important things that mindfulness helps you accomplish when it comes to self-defeating beliefs. The first is that mindfulness helps you recognize what thoughts and beliefs serve or defeat you. As you've been learning, awareness is the first step towards change. Second, mindfulness gives you the opportunity to create space between your thoughts and actions. Many of us act instinctively and response to our thoughts, which is actually acting mindlessly. However, by creating space between the two, you can ask yourself how true this belief is and if it empowers you, then you can choose to fact intentionally and mindfully. You'll no longer be defined and driven by your thoughts. In a nutshell, mindfulness helps us break free from the influence of self-defeating beliefs. For this lesson, I want you to complete a worksheet that walks you through the process of challenging self-defeating beliefs. This worksheet will help you recognize and reframe the beliefs that have been running your life narrative. 9. Learning to Say "No": Now that we've spoken about the power of now, we are going to shift gears and this lesson and discuss the power of no. The ability to say yes or no. Is it clear moment of choice? We have the choice to act in alignment with the values we consider the most important. The simple word no empowers us to create boundaries around the things we value. It also allows us to create space for our own self-care. Interestingly enough, as simple as this word is, many of us have trouble speaking it to create these boundaries. In the last lesson, one of the comments, self-defeating beliefs that we reviewed was being a people pleaser. Once again, this belief involves prioritizing others needs over your own. Oftentimes, individuals who hold this belief will constantly give to others, even ethics Spence, of their own interests. This results in filling others cups without tending to their own. And at some point, the people pleaser is COP, becomes completely depleted. The challenging creating these boundaries is finding the right balance for yourself. You don't want to have overly rigid boundaries, nor do you want to have boundaries that are easy to disregard. Setting these boundaries should come from a calm place of discretion that takes your personal needs into account and weighs the consequences of the decision. These boundaries can be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. Furthermore, they should be in line with your values and principles and protect you from exploitation or abuse. Let's look at an emotional boundary. You might have a friend that is very negative when you hang out with them, most of your time is spent listening to their complaints. They find something wrong with every place you go to. And they just can't seem to notice the beauty in life. After you hang out with them, you notice you feel drained, cranky, and drone outlook on life is more negative. A boundary with this person can take on different forms. In some instances, it only takes a conversation and others it takes more effort, perhaps limiting how much time you spend with them to create a space that preserves your positivity. However, to do this successfully means to communicate with your friend despite how challenging and uncomfortable it might be to draw this line in the sand, it is clear that an action needs to be taken to align with your values and protect you from negativity. Boundaries are essential to living your best life. And mindfulness can help you create them in a more effective way. Just said, mindfulness helps us create a space between our self-defeating beliefs and actions. It can do the same for creating boundaries. Mindfulness helps us make an honest assessment on whether or not know as an appropriate response for certain situations. By making this assessment, we can then act consciously. We can then act in integrity with our physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs. There are four ways that mindfulness can help with creating better boundaries. The first is getting clarity on your own boundaries. Every minute of every day we are receiving feedback. Some of this feedback comes in the form of cues that tell us when a boundary has been crossed. When you're feeling distress or uncomfortable, it might be an indicator that a boundary needs to be set through mindfulness, we can become aware of when we are experiencing these emotions. Second is recognizing when a boundary's being crossed in real-time. In order to know when our boundaries are being violated, we must be tuned into the present moment. Third, mindfulness helps us better respond to violations of our boundaries. It's easy to unconsciously react. When a boundary is violated. Our default response is typically anger. This anger arises to protect us so that we reassert our boundary. But with mindfulness, we are equipped to consciously respond. Mindfulness helps us develop kinder empowering ways of setting boundaries. In some cases, we may feel better suited to not respond to a boundary crossing and let those emotions pass non-judgmentally. Last through mindfulness, we can gain insight on how we developed certain boundaries by examining the belief systems than fluence these boundaries, we begin a new level of awareness. We can then decide if these boundaries are good for us or if we want to change them. Mindful behavior involves considering others and having compassion. This is another important aspect of mindfulness that we can incorporate into setting boundaries. Before you've been setting a boundary, we must show compassion and kindness towards ourselves and our needs. Mindfully observed the needs connected to your feelings without judgment and without trying to push the motion away. When setting a boundary, it's important to communicate the message in a compassionate way. Begin by saying something positive. Be direct, specific and clear. Emphasized compassion. Consider the other person and remain an attached to the outcome. And the example of having a negative friend, communicating the need for a positive space might sounds like this. I treasure our friendship and how much you have always cared for and supported me. I would like for us to create a more positive space when we're spending time with one another. I understand that you're going through many challenges and I'm always here to support you. I went our time spent together to be focused on what's working in our lives and thinking about how we can improve our situations. I don't want to focus on what's not working because it causes me to feel drained and pessimistic. And that attitude will not help either of us reach our goals. Are you in agreement with this? After communicating this need, the last step is to remain an attached to the outcome. We have no control over how someone will react to this communication. We only have control of how we express it. For this lesson is homework. You're going to think of a boundary that you've been struggling to communicate it. The worksheet is going to guide you step-by-step and effectively and compassionately communicating your needs. 10. Learning to Live Your “Truth”: People on their deathbeds often have many regrets. Brawny where who was a nurse, listed the most common regrets of her patients and turns it into a book called The top five regrets of dying. The number one regret was, I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. In this lesson, we're going to go over how mindfulness can assist you in living a life. True to yourself. There are two things that stop people from living their truth. The first is not having clarity on their values. How can you live a life true to you if you don't listen to your heart and tune in to what matters most to you. You can't, when you have no idea what's important to you, you tend to follow the pack and honor someone else's idea of what's important, even though in most likely doesn't coincide with what matters to you. Deep down, values are our compass. They tell us what direction to move in. So not knowing your values as like not knowing what direction to go in. At some point, you are going to get lost. And you might ask someone else for directions, but their directions will be based on the values of their compass. The second thing is lack of awareness. By default, we adopt values that have been passed down to us, either through society, parents, culture, and so on. Without even realizing it, we're conditioned to act in alignment with values that have been instilled by external sources. These values determined how you think, act and run your life. And if these values aren't in agreement with what matters most to you, you'll feel discontent and disconnected from yourself. Mindfulness helps you raise awareness of what is important to you and act in alignment with those things. Australian researchers surveyed 800 participants in regards to mindfulness, well-being and values-based action. Values-based action is the progress you make towards something that matters to you. The results showed that mindfulness helps the participants act authentically and in alignment with their values. Thus improving well-being while being included measures of overall satisfaction with life, experience of positive and negative emotions and feelings of positivity towards relationships, themselves, and their future. Although more research needs to be conducted on the links between mindfulness, authenticity, and well-being. This study was a good start investigating how mindfulness can one help us turn our values into tangible actions and to live in alignment with what's most important to us. There are three ways that we can leverage mindfulness to live authentically. The first way is by being mindful of the values we hold deep within you, under the layers of society's values, our parents values, and what we've been told should be our truth, are the things that truly matter to you. These things will be your guiding light or your compass throughout your journey in life. By quieting your mind in tuning into the present moment, you can go to the deepest parts of yourself, connects with your heart and discover that guiding light. The second way is checking in on the values that are driving our actions in the present moment. Our days consists of decision after decision. It's easy to go into autopilot mode and act out of alignment with your values. This is an example of acting mindlessly by tuning into the present moment and asking yourself if your actions are in alignment with your values. You are practicing mindfulness. You might ask yourself, what value am I honoring through this behavior? Or what do I really wanted to out of this decision? This moment of mindfulness will help you stay the course and living your truth. The final way is to use mindfulness to stay focused and non-distracted. The monkey minds will undoubtedly pull you away from your goal oriented focus. But as we mentioned in previous lessons, daily meditation will go a long way in helping you quiet and ignore this voice. I want to give you an example to make this easier to understand. If someone values freedom, they may choose to quit their corporate job and build their own business so that they can travel the world and live life on their own terms. Despite the wonderful personal and business goals that this person might set, the monkey mind will start to shatter and diploids fear mongering tactics. A week after quitting this job, this person might start to think, I'm not good enough. This is too risky. Nothing ever works out for me, and so on. If said person doesn't learn to ignore or quiet this voice, they will be back to their corporate job in the blink of an eye. Hence, why mindfulness is so important. By learning to quiet the monkey mind, these thoughts will just be thoughts that you let pass by. They will not impact your feelings, actions, or focus. And as a result, you'll be able to stay the course to apply what we've discussed in this lesson, I'd like for you to complete the core values worksheet. This worksheet is going to help you raise awareness of the values that you're currently living by and the ones that are important to you. 11. Creating Your Meditation Practice: We have discussed the many ways that mindfulness can be used in all aspects of life. And by now, you're aware that IT disciplines meditation practice is essential to becoming a more mindful person. However, many times it can feel overwhelming and challenging to create a new habit. Or in this instance, a meditation practice that works for you. So in the final lesson of this course, we're going to talk about how you can create an effective meditation practice. The first thing you'll want to ensure is that you are setting an intention before your practice. Your intention is a clear, positive communication of what you wish to align yourself with during your practice. It can be either a word or phrase. If you remember back in lesson two, you created an intention for this course. You would do the same exact thing before your practice. An example intention is to build compassion for myself and others. Simply internalize your intention prior to beginning your practice. Write it down on a piece of paper. Earlier in the course, I briefly mentioned setting a time for your meditation practice. This is incredibly important because as you've learned, society produces a busier is better mentality. It has been said that if you can't find ten minutes in a day to meditate, you probably need 20 minutes of meditation. In other words, if life is so chaotic that you cannot find ten minutes to be mindful and present. It might be time to reassess your priorities. There is no right time to meditate. Although morning meditation's can be a productive and motivating start to the day. Whichever time need shoes, ensure that you create a habit. Tried to meditate at the same time and in the same place. But also remember to be flexible if your day looks a bit different. The third thing to consider when creating your meditation practice is to be open to the variety of techniques. There are many types of meditations, some of which show like and others that you bought. So don't give up if a certain type of meditation isn't resonating with you. You'll want to decide if you like meditating alone and a group or a combination of both. You'll also want to decide if you like guided or unguided meditations. And guided meditation, a teacher guides you through the basic steps of the practice. And unguided meditation. You meditate alone without someone else explaining the process. If you're brand new to meditating, I recommend beginning with guided blast, mindfulness techniques can focus on a wide range of things. Some focus on the breath, physical sensations within the body, sounds in the environment, feelings, thoughts, test them all and see which resonates with you. Creating a calm space is essential when starting a meditation practice. Having a coziness gets you excited to practice and it also minimizes distractions. Now, this doesn't have to be an exclusive room. It can simply be a corner designated to your practice. Make the space your own to ensure it's peaceful and quiet. You might choose to decorate it with pillows, candles, incense crystals, plans, or beautiful artwork. Be sure to not make your meditation space too cluttered. As the purpose of this practice is to clear and calm the mind. Next, make sure your meditation space allows you to get comfortable. You can choose to meditate while sitting or lying down. But remember, there's more to meditating than sitting quietly, closing your eyes and breathing. The focus is not on stopping your thoughts because thinking is a natural function of the human mind. The focus was on becoming aware of how we get caught up in our thoughts and emotions and learning to find comfort in sitting still. The last part of creating your meditation practice is simply practicing whatever it is you're focusing on in the present moment. Whether it be a body sensation or the sounds in the environment. Relax and be with that point of focus. When your attention diverts from that focus gently and non-judgmentally, bringing it back. The act of recognizing that you've gotten away from your point of focus is the very act of mindfulness. As I mentioned earlier in the course, cultivating mindfulness is like exercising a muscle. In order to strengthen your mindfulness muscle, you must practice consistently. As you already know, a consistent meditation practice is going to help you reach your highest potential as you continue to develop a mindful meditation practice that works best for you. Use the worksheet I've provided to track your sessions and help you maintain a regular practice. This log allows you to track progress towards your goal by measuring where you are and where you're going. 12. Wrapping It Up: I'm so excited that you have completed all ten lessons in this course. I hope that you have learned plenty about mindfulness throughout this course. It is my hope that the skills and concepts I've taught you will help you move forward in your journey to becoming a more mindful person. I encourage you to revisit than tension you set in lesson two homework, where you able to achieve your intention. What is going to change for you moving forward? Creating new habits, practices ends lifestyle changes can definitely be challenging. As someone who has several health diagnoses. I understand the feeling of overwhelm, confusion, desperation, and intensity when it comes to making these very difficult changes. When you live your life in the same way for years on end, it's certainly hard to rewire yourself to think and behave differently. But it isn't impossible. With a life coach. You can work with someone who helps you overcome the challenges on your journey. Learn more about yourself. Set realistic goals. Get to the root of what's holding you back and to help hold you accountable. I am a certified professional coach. I am also an integrative nutrition health coach in training. I use my skills and knowledge to help my clients feel their best through holistic lifestyle changes from food to mindfulness. In fact, the whole coaching process helps my clients increase their level of mindfulness. Because I'm constantly asking questions that they haven't considered, revealing blind spots and generating new insights. My services include individual coaching, where the focus is on getting from where you are to where you want to be. No matter your goal, I will be your number one supporter, advocate, and partner in helping you achieve it. If you're interested in one on one coaching, had to my site and set up a complimentary call so that we can discuss the process, your goals, and see if we're a good fit. I also offer a personal assessment called the energy and leadership index. This is a scientifically proven assessment that will give you insight about how you're showing up in the world and how that's impacting the results you're getting in life. This is an assessment that you can only receive through graduates of my coaching program. Again, had to my website and schedule complimentary call so we can further discuss. On my website, I provide tons of free resources from worksheets to ebooks. You can also check out my blog articles for additional self-help nuggets. And last but not least, I will be launching group coaching program in the future. If you'd like to be the first to know when that program has live. Sign up for my newsletter. Thanks so much for taking this course. If you enjoyed it, please take the time to let others know as I'm sure they'd appreciate it. If you have additional questions, reach out to me via this platform, the contact form on my website, or email me directly at dhyana at movie to