How to Influence People - 7 Easy Steps to Master Influencing, Persuasion Psychology & Manipulation! | Dean Mack | Skillshare

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How to Influence People - 7 Easy Steps to Master Influencing, Persuasion Psychology & Manipulation!

teacher avatar Dean Mack, Communication Skills Teacher

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

10 Lessons (1h 1m)
    • 1. Introduction - How to Influence People

    • 2. Chapter 1 - Have Confident Body Language

    • 3. Chapter 2 - Make People Like You

    • 4. Chapter 3 - Be Clear and Concise

    • 5. Chapter 4 - Ask for Favors

    • 6. Chapter 5 - Make Emotional Connections

    • 7. Chapter 6 - Be More Transparent

    • 8. Chapter 7 - Take an Interest in Others

    • 9. Chapter 8 - Summary of Steps

    • 10. Conclusion - How to Influence People

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About This Class

  • Do you admire all those cool and mysterious characters from movies and comic books that can easily manipulate anyone into doing what they want them to do?

  • Would you like to be like them, but can't seem to succeed no matter how hard you try?

You definitely shouldn't despair, because this new amazing course "How to Influence People" will provide you with all the necessary tips, tricks and information that you need to start being a true Loki in any social interaction!

Apart from the more trivial and everyday applications, being able to influence others effectively is crucial in many professions. If you have a dream job that you never applied to because it requires some of the skills mentioned in the title of this course, you should revise your decision, because the techniques and mechanics that this course provides will be more than enough to pass any interview for a job that is reliant on this skillset.

Did you know that the easiest way to spot a manipulator is if he/she tries to deter you from investigating other points of view, usually by providing false information that is supposed to make you hate the people that represent the other perspectives? Sometimes, this can be so obvious that even a complete amateur can figure out if you're trying to manipulate him. Therefore, it is a good idea to avoid this approach, because it's an easy sign that tells you're a manipulator. This, along with many other similar and equally useful information, can be found in this guide, and they can make you a true smooth talker that can influence and manipulate people without an issue.

What Makes This Course Different from Others in the Same Category?

Firstly, manipulation is sometimes presented as something bad which is, of course, not true, but it nevertheless means that there is a relatively small amount of guides on how to manipulate people online or in other books and literature. The pieces of information and some tips that can be found are usually not worth anything if they aren't presented as a whole concise and consolidated package - which is exactly what this guide is. It's intuitive structure and the plethora of information that you can get make it a notch above everyone else, so you should definitely check it out.

Here's What You'll Learn:

  • How to use your body language to assert dominance and make the first steps towards being able to influence a person.

  • How to make the people you speak to like you, which will make manipulation that much easier.

  • Some tips and tricks on how and where to guide the conversation to increase your influence over the other person.

  • How to make emotional connections and exploit them to your advantage.

  • Some final tips and tricks along with a very well-structured conclusion that will encompass everything else that you've learned along the way.

This course truly is a journey, and it will take you from step one, where you have no experience or previous knowledge, and guide you, step by step, until you can become able to manipulate, influence and guide people into doing things that you want!

Enroll Now!

Meet Your Teacher

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Dean Mack

Communication Skills Teacher


Dean Mack is the teacher of the "Communication Skills: The Right Way" course series. He was formerly a literary agent with Curtis Black Ltd. and writes a popular blog on improving Social Skills. Mack turned to teaching several years ago to fulfil his life dream of educating students on the topic of Social and Communication Skills. He lives in New York City.

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1. Introduction - How to Influence People: introduction. The following chapters will discuss the seven most important steps for influencing the people around you. You will learn the best tricks and techniques to master persuasion and manipulation so that others listen to you all of the time. Getting others to do what you want is not impossible, and you can certainly train yourself to have influence over others. Even if this is not a natural skill that you have, the information provided in this guide can teach it to anyone willing to learn. Many people want to gain control over others only because they want to feel dominant above everyone else. Some people, though, want to be influential not because they want to, but because they need to. If you are an employer, a supervisor or a team manager, or just someone who struggles, influencing or taking control of others, then this is the perfect guide for you. There are plenty of guides on this subject on the market. Thanks again for choosing this one. Every effort was made to ensure it is this full of as much useful information as possible. Please enjoy 2. Chapter 1 - Have Confident Body Language: Chapter one have confident body language. If you want to learn how to influence others, you will first need to know how to portray confident body language. Body language communicates more with others than our words do. It could make the difference when trying to get others to listen to us. This form of non verbal communication refers to any expression or gesture that we make to deliver a message to another person. First impressions often times their body language to make an impression on someone before we get the chance to do so verbally. Imagine walking up to someone that was slumped over with a frown on their face. Your first impression of this person would be that they are upset and sad without even talking to the person. You have already drawn your own conclusions about them. This is true for how others view you as well, which is why you want to convey a positive, confident image by expanding your body and portraying a confident image. You will alter the way that others view you. Along with this, you will also begin to view yourself in a more positive light and will feel even more powerful in your endeavors to influence other people. While Bonny language is essential for first impressions, it is also important to maintain confident body language as you carry on a conversation. This is because your body language will help to supplement your spoken message or make it come across more believably. You'll need a strong delivery when telling others what you want them to do. Otherwise, they will not take you seriously. As you come to understand the importance of having proper body language, you must then learn how you can do it yourself. There are many aspects of body language that will matter when trying to influence others, which will cover your body. Language should not make it seem as though you are anxious or nervous in any way. You also do not want to make it seem like you were uptight or too serious to find balance. You should watch yourself in the mirror and critique your own body language as you go through each aspect of body language to improve upon, you can practice in the mirror until you feel ready to use it around someone else. You will need to make sure that you seem natural, but also somewhat intimidating so that others still take you seriously. Posture. To begin identifying areas that you should improve on in terms of body language, start looking at your posture. Posher will be the key to how you carry yourself, for when others begin to form an opinion of you to work in this area, start by pressing your chest slightly outward and moving your stomach in. Keep your shoulders held bag and keep your head up. Be sure to check yourself in a mirror to make sure that you are not overextending any part of your body so that you still look as natural as possible. Practice holding this position frequently until it becomes natural. Over time, you will find that your body will naturally sit this way without you having to think about it or look in a mirror. Keeping your head up high is essential for good posture, but is also going to be a large determining factor on how others perceive you. If you are keeping your head down, you were indicating that you are not the one in control of the conversation or situation. By keeping your head up, you make it possible to take control of a situation so that you can start to influence those around you and convey confidence in your abilities to do so. I contact once your posture is sufficient. You, me, then begin to work on your eye contact. Sometimes maintaining eye contact with others can feel awkward or intimidating, but you can get past these feelings to influence others. You should focus on keeping eye contact with other people in every conversation you have. This will make people respect you more, and we'll let them know that you are still listening to what they have to say. If someone doesn't think you were listening to them, they will be less likely to care about what you were seeing in return and will be harder to influence. You should also take care to not offer too much eye contact, as this could be too aggressive and may seem strange to the other person. If the other person feels threatened by you, they're not any more likely to listen to you than if you had not maintained any eye contact at all again. You'll need to practice this skill and become more conscious of it in each conversation that you have gestures. Now that you have learned how to master proper posture and eye contact, you will also need to learn how to form sufficient gestures. Most common ones that you will utilize or smiling and handshakes. So learning these first is essential. The most important thing to note for smiling to influence others is that you must time it appropriately spinal. It could be your most powerful method of influence or your most dangerous one. Depending on how you go about it, you do not. Typically one walk into a crowded room with a smile on your face. Immediately, you first want people to recognize your attendance and build a presence in the room. Once there has been an opportunity for this, you can smile as you wish. Be sure to smile when it is fitting, such as for excitement or in a positive interaction. You also want to be sure that your smiles air natural and legitimate as it is often easy to see through a fake smile. By mastering this, others will feel connected to you and will be more likely to be influenced by you later on . As for handshakes, you will need to convey a sense of power. A firm and strong handshake will immediately grabbed the attention of others. When you greet them as it shows that you respect them as well as yourself, you may also want to be the 1st 1 to initiate the handshake, as this conveys a sense of authority to the other person that may be difficult to obtain otherwise. For example, if you were about to interview for a position, you may benefit from extending your hand first so that you were one step ahead of the interviewer, which they're likely to respect whether they are cognizant of it or not. Once you have started the handshake, allow it to last for up to about five seconds before pulling away. Fidgeting may also be an issue that you struggle with when it comes to confident body language. People who are nervous tend to move their hands or their bodies without purpose, which is easily noticed and does not give off a professional vibe. You may need to consciously find a place to put your hands or a position that you do not move back and forth in tow. Hold any nervous movements you might be doing. Take careful note of when these movements air happening so that you may pinpoint why and what you can do to stop them. For example, if you were someone that plays with their hair when nervous, you may find that tying your hair back stops you from doing this. You may also be doing this because it puts you at ease, but others can recognize it as nerves that are making you do it Engaged body language. You will also need to make sure that your body language shows that you are engaged. This will be accomplished somewhat with smiling and I contact, but there are extra steps you should take a well. To do this. You want to make sure that you are reacting while listening to a conversation. As mentioned. The other person must recognize that you are listening to them before they will be willing to listen to you. You can accomplish this by nodding throughout the conversation as well as mirroring any movements or expressions made by the other person. Movements that they're making reflect how they feel, and by doing a similar movement, you will show them that you feel a similar way and that you recognize their feelings. Purposefully utilizing your arms and legs will also be important for body language. Even if you're not using your arms or legs to communicate, their placement will be essential to the vibe that you were giving off. For example, if your arms are crossed over your chest during a conversation, you're suggesting that you feel uncomfortable or that you do not like talking to the other person. To avoid this, you can first become more aware of where your arms and legs are. By recognizing their placement, you can learn to adjust accordingly. You can place your arms on your side or keep your legs crossed to look relaxed and engaged . Whoever you will need to remember to keep your placements natural as well, otherwise will negate your efforts to show that you were involved and interested in the conversation. After reviewing all of the previous information on body language, you should also take time to note the culture you are in and what is considered to be acceptable. Every culture has their own forms of body language that are considered professional or friendly, so you will need to be careful to not come off the wrong way. There are also some forms of body language that air disrespectful, which will also be important to learn about if you are interacting in a setting that may have a different style of body language. From what you're used to, you will need to ac limit yourself to the rules of that culture so that you are still able to influence others effectively. For example, in the United States, maintaining proper eye contact is important as we already covered. However, you would not want to utilize the same eye contact principles in Japanese culture. This is because Japanese people tend to only make eye contact at the beginning of a conversation and find it awkward to maintain it. From there. You would not be is likely to have influence over another person in this culture if you tried to make the same amount of eye contact as he do in the United States, Body language is an essential skill that you must learn if you want to have influence and power over other people. This form of communication is crucial in making an impact on others so that they will listen to you and respect you. Once you have mastered the skill, you'll be ready to move forward in the process of influencing people effectively 3. Chapter 2 - Make People Like You: Chapter two make people like you. When you meet someone for the first time, you may find it hard to remember what they looked like or what they said. However, you are far more likely to remember how that person made you feel, whether they made you nervous or happy. Your memories and impressions of the person are based on how you felt when talking to them . The next step in learning to influence others is to make people like you. You will need to learn how to make good impressions so that you are memorable and respected enough to be listened to charisma. One of the main factors and how likable you are is your charisma. This term to your personality is what will attract others so they're drawn in and open to listening to what you have to say. Most of us have some room for improvement in this area, which is why it should be the first consideration. When trying to make others like you to become more charismatic, you should first attempt to make yourself more present as we covered in the first chapter. Engagement during a conversation is incredibly important. This is true even now, as getting rid of any distractions will be appreciated by the other person that you were talking to. When your full attention is in the conversation, it becomes yours to control because people desire attention. Providing this when communicating gives you the upper hand so that you may begin to influence in whatever way you choose. Another way to be charismatic is to be sure that you were not focusing on your response when someone else is talking, This goes along with making sure your full attention is in the conversation but can still be easy to forget. The tendency to think about own responses is hard to ignore, but it distracts from what is being said in shows that you are not listening as much as you should be. It is already to think about your response when the other person has stopped talking and we'll even give you a better opportunity to collect your thoughts and consider everything they said so that your response is appropriate. This will also be much more appreciated and will enhance the communication for you to influence. The main goal of being more charismatic is to make people feel good when you have this power over people, the rest of the influencing you do becomes much easier. However, there are still many other ways to make people like you to influence them as well demonstrate power. One of the ways to make people like you more is to demonstrate power over them. Most people respond well to authority figures, although this may not work for everyone you encounter. However, you may notice that people given to you much more easily and do as you say to convey a sense of power. You should first double check your body language has recovered in the previous chapter. This will be your first impression on others and could give you a head start on gaining power and making people like you. Once this has been accomplished, you can start finding other ways to gain power over the others. One simple way to demonstrate power in a situation is to take control of the environment. This could be moving the objects around you or being the 1st 1 to initiate a conversation. Well, you do not want to be fidgeting too much when doing this. It is okay to pick up an item or two just to show that you can. You may also try initiating a handshake to establish power in your situation. You can be creative with this task and adjust it as needed to your environment. Practicing humility. People will also like you more when you were humble. While you do not want to sell yourself short, it is important to respect the knowledge that others can give to you. Even if you were influential, you will still need to learn from other people and acknowledge what they can offer you. Practicing humility will also include praising others. People like to know that they're doing a good job and that you think highly of the work that they do. By demonstrating this, others will like and respect you more. You will need to give people the credit that they deserve for what they do. If you ever want to have any influence over them. Imagine having a boss that took all the credit for the work that you did. It never praised you for doing any of it. While the boss might still have actual power over your job, they would likely have little influence over what you did otherwise because you didn't get the credit that you deserve for your work. Anyone would feel underappreciated and resentful in a situation like this one. Another piece of advice for being humble is to take a step back. This means allowing others to speak more and allowing them to do something first. You may be eager to talk or do everything you can when trying to gain influence, but this can often hinder your ability to do so. It also helps to give others the perception that they're the ones in control of a situation which, being humble, will help with if performed correctly. The other person will do most of the talking, and we'll go first in any task that need to be completed. This will give you the chance to listen to them and pay attention to what matters. They will also like that they feel in control and will also feel more connected with you. Do not be afraid to admit your mistakes. This is another part of practicing humility because you must recognize when you were wrong and have messed up. It is hard for people to like being around someone who thinks they're always right and do not know when to admit they're wrong. If you were conscious of this, an attempt to do it yourself is often as possible. You'll notice that others are appreciative of it. Be positive. Another way to get people to like you is to be positive. Your mood and emotions have a powerful influence on others that they likely do not even notice when you were happy and positive. Those around you will start to become this way as well. You'll also notice that people are attracted to you more when you were positive and that they will also be more willing to listen to you. Do not be afraid of displaying happiness around other people. Even if they're mood is somewhat down, they will soon begin to reflect your good mood subconsciously, which will give you the upper hand to be the one with power in the situation. Being more positive might also involve making other people laugh. There's a time and place for joking around, but sometimes it is a good way to get people to like you. You can lighten the mood and make others feel more comfortable around you. Be sure to tell jokes that are appropriate for the situation No one wants to hear a sexual joke during a serious conversation, and it is a quick way to ruin your credibility. Timing will be everything with this suggestion, so be sure to use it wisely, sharing common traits. You'll also find that sharing common traits with others makes them like you more as well. These treats can be good or bad. Is either way will form a connection. Humans are attracted to people that are similar to them, so identifying characteristics, traits and qualities that you have in common with someone else will instantly make them like you more. This is one of the most important ways to make people like you more and could be used on just about any person you meet. No matter who they are, you'll have at least one or two things in common with them that you can bond over. By making this connection, you'll be more likable and will gain influence as needed. When people like you, they're more likely to listen to you. This may seem obvious, but it isn't always easy for everyone to accomplish. Some have the natural talent of walking into a room and making everyone they meet enjoy their company. Even if this isn't you, it is possible to make it happen. All of the previous bits of information will help to get you people to enjoy being around you in just about any situation. You'll need to make people feel good and validated in your communications with them and show that you are humble and respect them as well. The more interested that you are on other people, the more interested they will be in you. Once you have learned and practiced all the suggestions outlined in this chapter, you'll be ready to move on to become more concise and clear to gain influence over others. 4. Chapter 3 - Be Clear and Concise: Chapter three be clear and concise. Persuading others can be a daunting task, and it is easy to be a bit nervous when trying to do so. However, there are a few ways that you can prepare yourself so that your persuasive skills work the most important way being that your words need to be both clear and concise. As the chapter title indicates, this may take some work, but once mastered, it will be one of the most effective ways to influence other people. This chapter might take you back to the writing classes you took in school as the learning principles air similar. It can often be difficult to translate what we want to say into actual words, such as with writing or speaking by exploring ways of going about this, you can become a much better talkers so that others do what you say Simplify To start becoming clear when you speak, you will need to not be so wordy. This means to simplify most of the verbs that you use or any sentences in general. You may tend to use abstract phrases or terms when you want to sound smart, but this is unnecessary. If anything, doing this makes it obvious to the other person that you were trying to impress and influence them. You also run the possibility of misusing words or stumbling over phrases, thus losing your credibility even if you had previously been successful to practice, simplifying what you say, pay attention to the verbs that you were using. For example, instead of saying her movements air suggestive off, you could say her movements suggest in place of the other verb e ege. A change like this may seem insignificant, but it makes the message clear without any extra fluff added on to it. Example given is also just a small bit of a phrase, as you will have more than just a word or two to alter. Simplifying your message should also include using more active verbs instead of passive. Examples of passive words include we have, and there are instead you should declare what you want as we speak. An example of an active sentence would be, I believe, that we must place the dresser on the right side of the bed. The previous example conveys what you want, and not that it should or could be done. You do not have to sound demanding with this kind of verbiage, but you demonstrate your own decisiveness and give a simple command of what you want. Another way you can simplify your words is to work on using fewer vague phrases. Announce by using vague words. You drive yourself into saying even more to make up for it so that your message still makes sense. Some examples of vague words include area, place, situation, aspect, degree in consideration. An example of a vague phrase you might use would be. Let's go to that place across the street with the good tacos. Instead of seeing the previous sentence, you could say, Let's go to the Taco restaurant across the street. You may be using vague words without realizing it, so you may need to analyze how you speak frequently. It is hard to change how you speak when you've been doing it for a long time, but it will pay off what you say will be clear into the point, minus all of the unnecessary verbiage you were using previously being concise. Once you have cleaned up what you say, you can start to make your words more concise. This step is equally as important as clarity as the two together will make you much more respectable in persuasive. The overall goal is for you to make your messages quick and understandable so that people listen and remember what you say. Being concise means that you're going to use a few words to say a lot. This also means that you will need to choose your words wisely to be concise. The most important step you can take is to think before you say anything. This will allow your words to feel more natural, but also consider it unnecessary. This will allow you the opportunity to compose your thoughts and sort them down into a simple message. You do not want to take more than five seconds to do. This is This would often make the situation awkward. However, these few seconds air all you need to stop yourself from blurting out the first words that come to your mind. Instead, you'll be able to say what you mean without filler. The next way to make what you see more concise is to start and end with your mean idea. Humans tend to remember the beginning and the end of what we were taught. For example, in a lecture, you might remember what was said initially and right before you left. But a lot of what was said in between might be hard to remember. Given this, it is important to remember when speaking, so that you can plan your words accordingly. You should start and end with the most important concepts so that people remember what matters. This will also help to guide your listeners and make them think about what you were saying by introducing them early to what you want. It becomes more memorable, and they're more likely to do it. Fillers. Once you have mastered getting your most important concepts and desires out first and reiterating them at the end, you need to learn what to say in between so that people still listen to you. The middle of your message should still consist of important information, but only that which supports the main idea. This should include only the most important details, and nothing that could be written off as a relevant. You need to allow yourself to give the most effective communication possible to get people to listen to you and remember what you say. Paying attention to your filler sounds. While talking is important as well, you need to clean up your sentences and avoid the thumbs and those that tend to happen that hinder the effectiveness of what you were saying. You should practice speaking on your own time to observe how often you make these noises while talking so that you can work on stopping them. These noises also believe from getting to the point of your message, which is distracting for your audience. A lot of this is avoided by taking time to think about what you were going to say, but may still be difficult to avoid without practice. Knowing your audience while having a clear, concise message is vital to getting people to do what you want. You must also be sure to tailor your message to your audience. The suggestions outlined in this chapter would likely not be the way you would talk to a friend in a casual setting, but it would be if you were trying to get them to do something for you. You should identify who you are talking to and what it is that they need to know knowing your audience will help you to avoid awkward communication and will allow you to figure out how much you should say as previously stated, knowing your audience will help you to determine what they need to know from you. However, to accomplish this, you must first know what you want to say. You should always know the why for what you want to say, so that you complain your message and make it as effective as possible. You were wasting your own time if you do not even know what and why you want to influence other people and they will not also respond well. Sometimes the reason why you want something to happen is obvious, but some cases might require some analysis. You should take time before your interactions with others to make sure that you are serious and know the reasons why you want to influence. If you're not absolutely certain, you will not be successful staying focused. The last tip for improving you're speaking and communication. To be more concise is to stay focused. Your undivided attention should be on your interaction and the goals you want to achieve from it. You already know the wife for trying to influence someone to do something and you must keep that in mind. Be sure not to get distracted as you speak and start to go off on an unnecessary tangents. You want people to take you seriously, so you must be serious about it as well. Once you have reviewed the information in this chapter, you will become a more effective speaker. You also now understand the importance of good communications so that others will listen to you and do what it is that you want. Influencing others becomes much easier when your communication skills air strong. The more you explore how to improve communication, the more you can influence others. This may be an obvious change you can make, but there are also less obvious changes as well. In the following chapter, we will explore one of these less obvious changes, which is to ask others for favors. 5. Chapter 4 - Ask for Favors: Chapter four ask for favors. Influencing people will require you to be somewhat manipulative when talking. While manipulating might not be the most ethical way to go about getting what you want, you can prove to be advantageous overall, you can also go about it in a positive way. Manipulation could be done in a variety of ways, some better than others. One of those ways, which is also one of the most effective, is to ask people for favors. The Ben Franklin Effect. It might sound counterintuitive, but asking for favors makes people perceive you more positively. It even makes you seem like a more influential person. This is a phenomenon called the Ben Franklin Effect. Essentially, this effect is described as when a person does a favor for someone else. They become more likely to do more favors for that same person in the future. The thought behind this is that we internalize helping out the other person because we like them already. This makes sense because we tend to only do extra favors for those that we like, whereas we would not be willing to do the same for someone we dislike. This effect is useful in a variety of situations. Imagine being in a business setting where you were trying to get a client to purchase your product. Instead of offering your own assistance to this client, you can ask them to do something for you. For example, you can ask them to tell you their opinion on where the market is heading and what exactly they would want from an ideal product. With this favor going unrepaired aid, they're likely to do more for you in the future. They will be more likely to give you their time and investments, possibly even purchasing the product from you. The foot in the door technique. Another term for a similar effect as thief foot in the door technique. This one is described as asking someone to do a somewhat small favor for you so that they're more willing to do a large fever for you in the future. This one is attributed to what social scientists refer to as successive approximations. When a person does a lot of small favors for you, they notice a behavior or attitude change in you that is typically positive. To stop this from turning negative, they will agree to do larger favors for you after doing multiple small ones so that they do not let you down. This is a common business technique but can be used in your own life. If a sales person comes knocking on your door and ask you if you would allow them to come inside, this is likely just the first in a long succession of favors that will be asked of you. These effects only emphasized the importance of Chapter two, which describes how to get people to like you. That initial familiarity will be important and will almost guarantee that the other person will agree to that initial small request. How to go about asking for favors. It may seem weird that people actually enjoy doing favors for one another. We enjoy helping out the people we like. You just need to know the right way to go about asking someone to do something for you. While you may now understand why asking for a small favor and then a big favor helps you to get what you want, you should also know how to go about asking for these favors. It could be a little awkward to ask people for something especially if you had tried to avoid doing so in the past, you may be uncomfortable with the idea, but there are appropriate ways to approach people that will help you ease into it to go about asking for a favor. You can start by planning to do it at the right time. You want to be courteous to the person you were asking the favour of, as you want to make it seem as tiny oven inconvenience as possible for them. If the timing is wrong, they may be unable or annoyed that you requested anything. Try to find the best time to do so and in the right setting. You do know when I ask a professor to help you with an assignment in the middle of a lecture, and you do not want to ask a friend to borrow something of theirs when you were out with a group of friends, avoid putting the person in an awkward situation so that they're open to helping you out, no matter what the favor. Maybe while asking for a fever should be considerate, you also do not want to state that you are bothering someone by asking them this immediately looks bad on you. It enables the other person to have full control of the situation. It is not bothersome to ask a favor of someone as we already covered how people actually enjoy doing favors and get pleasure from it. You also do not want to be sneaky about your intentions when asking for something. It is courteous to let the other person know that you are seeking a favor right away their way. They do not have to figure out what you were trying to get from them. It prepares the other person to consider your request. Instead of being surprised by it later, you were also more likely to be rejected. If you ask after a long conversation that was leading up to the question. It is best to start off by saying you are looking for a favor and then just asking the wording of your request will be vital to success as well. You want to be careful with how you pitch your request, being sure that it is polite and gracious to the other person. After all, they're the one helping you out, so you do not want to be perceived as rude. You also do not want to create any confusion or misunderstandings. So you want the word your request as simple as possible. An example of a simple and polite request would be. Do you mind sparing about an hour of your time to come to my place and help me study for my Spanish exam? While specific, the previous example is simple. It is considerate of the time you will be taking away from the other person s mentioned. You do not want to be routed all to the person you are asking a favor off. You want to be polite as possible during the encounter. One way you can go about doing this is to flatter them a little. You do not want to compliment them excessively or to exaggerate their skills as they can easily see through This, for example, did not tell someone you are seeking their help because they're the best in algebra, especially if it is not something they actually excel in. Instead, you can just say that you want their help because you know they're good at it and that you could stand to learn from someone like them. You should also think them to show your appreciation even if they declined to assist you. Thanking them shows that you still respect their decision Either way. This may also help you in the future if you ask them for help again, as they will be more likely to accept. Given how polite you're this time, along with flattery and being thankful, you also want to make sure that you follow through on any commitments you have made with your requests. For example, if you ask to borrow an item and gave a timeframe for returning it, you need to follow through. Getting the item back properly shows the other person respect and makes them trust you more in the future. One of the last things to know about asking favors is to offer way out for the other person as much as you want the other person to accept your favor, you need to know how to accept a no. You also need to make it possible for them to decline, so they did not feel pressured to accept something they do not want to do. Be sure to know your understanding at the end of your request if they choose not to do whatever you were asking. Also, make sure to mention that it is all right if they feel uncomfortable or are unable to accept your request is this will put the Mehdi's? No one enjoys doing a favor that they feel like they were forced to do, and they will surely not want to do more for you in the future. If you have to force someone into doing something for you, you do not have true influence. It is not hard to gain actual power, at least not compared to the influential power that you can gain over people with skill. Giving is often more fulfilling than receiving, which is why people are so willing to help each other out, even if you struggled to get others to do things for you. Now this is a skill that you can practice to manipulate others. When people already like you, it is easy to get them to do favors for you. From there, it is all about how you approach the situation and what methods you use task. Do not be afraid of asking others for something as you can get what you want. You can also get what you want by building your relationships with other people. Sometimes it is not enough for them to just like you, and it may require a special emotional connection. We will discuss the best way to go about building this kind of connection in the following chapter. 6. Chapter 5 - Make Emotional Connections: Chapter five make emotional connections. The focus of this chapter is on the emotional connections you make with people to impact them in influence. We have briefly covered this topic before, but this chapter will give you more insight as to how you should build connections and why it is important in influencing other people delivering sensitive or important information. When you were trying to influence others, you may be delivering sensitive or important information to get people to want to do it. This could be an advantage point, though, as you should build an emotional connection with the people you are interacting with. This goes hand in hand with making people like you, but takes it a little further. There's a lot of psychological background to the step that suggest its credibility, much of which was researched by John Medina. It has been shown that people tune out of conversations after just a few short minutes and did not retain information if it was boring and un interesting. To avoid this, you have to build connections with people and make them interested in what you have to say . The way to do this is to get the chemical called dopamine pumping through the person you are interacting with. This chemical is what allows us to feel pleasure and enjoy being around other people. If you can stimulate this part of the brain, you can gain power over others to influence them. Start off strong. If you want people to listen to you and you want to build meaningful conversations with them, you will need to start your conversations off strong. You want to grab the attention of the other person and immediately make them feel wanted and important. One of the best ways to do this is to start off with a question or comment that involves the other person. For example, you might start off by asking, How was your day or what was the most interesting part of your day? You want the other person to feel a specialist possible and grab their attention when they recognize that you care about them. They will instantly feel more connected and ready to listen. Involved people. Another way to build an emotional connection with someone to influence them is to involve them as much as you can in conversation. You should ask questions and gain the perspective of the other person on what you were discussing. You can also try to analyze their feelings and judge how willing they are to do what it is that you were wanting. Asking questions also makes the other person feel understood and listen to. You should show the other person recognition and show that their thoughts are being considered as well. By doing this, they would like being around you more, and we'll begin to feel much more appreciated. When others feel important they will be easily influenced. All of that which has been said thus far, is to help you build report with the people you want to influence. This is vital to your success, as this connection will make them more likely to do task for you. Do not be afraid to get these people talking about themselves. Be sure that you are listening as they talk and are engaging them as much as possible. Learn about these people at any opportunity that is given to you so that you could make comments about their interests along the way. You want to make sure that you make them feel special and that you care about what they do if you want people to respect and be impacted by you. They must feel a connection. Remember names. Another simple way to build emotional connections is to remember the other person's name. This is a small yet important detail when trying to influence someone. Well, it may not seem like much when you remember a name not remembering can have many negative effects that will be hard to come back from. You want to be able to say the other person's name regularly so that they feel validated and remembered by not remembering the other person senses that you do not truly care and that you cannot even remember the small things about them. This is the perception that they have. Then they will likely not do anything for you getting personal. We have already covered the importance of being positive around others to get them to do what you want. But you should also look for the positives in them. It is a natural tendency to be somewhat cynical and not immediately see the good in people . But there is plenty of good to look for. If you want to be successful in building emotional connections, you'll need to master looking for this, be sure to focus on reasons to like them and set aside any reasons you may not want to be around them. This will help you to expect the best out of people, which they will then deliver once the connection's air made when trying to make emotional connections with people, you expect them to open up to you a bit. This is how you will build trust with them and make the connections riel. It is important that they open up to you and do not regret it later on. You want to avoid mocking or making the other person feel judged, thus regretting showing that side of them to you. If this happens, it is highly unlikely that they will be strongly influenced by you anymore and that they may try to even do the opposite of whatever you say. Instead, you should try to empathize with them and their beliefs. Even if you did not agree with what they do. Empathy can show that you respect their decisions to do something a certain way and even gives you the chance to reveal more about yourself. You want to be open and non judgmental, so that people trust you and they're not afraid to be themselves around you. Without this quality, people will not listen to you or be influenced by what you say. Getting a little personal will also help you to build a connection with others. We have already stated that you should ask questions to try to get to know someone. But do not be afraid to dig a little deeper than superficial questions. When someone tells you what they do for a living, try to ask why they chose that profession or what made them want to do that. This will help them open up to you and reveal more about themselves that you might not have otherwise known. You can learn what they care about and what makes them tick. This will also give you the chance to show your passion so that there is mutual respect, which will then give you the opportunity to have a higher impact on them. Later on, the golden rule, along with everything else you do to connect the people the most important thing you can do is to treat people the way you would want to be treated. This is the golden rule for being nice to others, one that you may have been taught from a young age. You will show a lot of deserved respect to the other person. When you follow this rule, as no one wishes to be treated poorly, you will also find that you want to listen to them even more and gain their insight, such as you would if the tables were turned. It is also worth mentioning that you should not try to one up someone when building connections and friendships with them. As people tell you about themselves, be sure not to use it as an opportunity to bring about yourself in your accomplishments. While self disclosure is necessary and assist in building relationships, you do not want to overdo it. The point is to influence other people and learn about them. If you were too focused on yourself, all of your other attempts will have been for nothing. Make sure you were taking time to listen and build the connection effectively and without selfish causes, influencing others will require you to connect with others and build strong relationships with them. We listen to the people that we respect the most and feel comfortable with you should utilize this fact to your own advantage that you gain power over people. It can have an impact on them. You want people to perceive you as approachable so that they can come to you with requests , which you can then ask for in return later on. There are many advantages to connecting with other people, the most obvious one being the power that it gives you to them. By observing the information in this chapter, you are well prepared to start improving your connections with people and use them to influence as you want. And the next chapter you will learn how to use your connections you have built and to become more transparent to other people. This will provide you even more power to influence others and to have an impact on the lives of others. 7. Chapter 6 - Be More Transparent: Chapter six. Be more transparent to be persuasive and get people to do what you want. You need to be vulnerable on. Make your intentions clear. We touched upon this topic when learning how to ask for a favor is you want to make it appear in what you want right away. Why you should be transparent. You may wonder why you should be transparent about your intentions when trying to get what you want from others. Doesn't this take away from the manipulative aspect of influencing? Maybe so, but being transparent actually helps to get other people to do what you want. Being open and vulnerable increases your likability and therefore your influence. People like to see your emotions, and they will also trust you more when doing so. Most people assume you would not show you them your vulnerable side if you do not like or trust them in return. Being transparent also means being able to admit your mistakes. Admitting your own flaws and weaknesses shows the other person that you were riel and are an equivalent to them. They can relate to you on a more personal level when you display emotions and admit to your weaknesses. This will get them to trust and like you even more thus resulting in a higher ability to influence on your end. You did not want to make yourself seem perfect out of fear that others will think less of you. We're all only human, and we all know that each person mrs up from time to time. So do not be afraid to own up to this fact. To start being more transparent, remember to make your intentions obvious from the start. If you plan on asking someone something, let them know immediately. If you just want to talk to that person and spend time with them, make this obvious as well. Do not leave your audience guessing what it is that you want is this decreases their willingness to give it to you. Be open with others. You also need to learn how to be open with others. This does not mean you have to reveal every intricate detail of your life, but you should not be afraid to open up. You want people to be able to read you so that they trust you and everything that you say. Think about what others might find interesting to know about you and tell them you would be surprised at the connections. This will help you build and how much others will respect how vulnerable you make yourself . To be open with others, you should tell a story about yourself that demonstrates what kind of person you are. You might select a funny story or vignette about your day that gives them a snapshot of your life. No matter what instance you choose. You wanted to reflect who you are does not hurt to add something in that makes the other person smile as well as something to personalize the story that shows your character. The purpose of this is to tell the other person more about yourself, so be as detailed is necessary course. You should only use this tip if the timing is right, and if it is warranted, you will need to be your own judge of this. But do not be afraid to utilize this helpful strategy. Sharing being transparent can also involve sharing your thoughts and opinions on topics even if they're controversial. You do not want a bite your tongue all of the time. If you desire to be impactful, you should know your stance on a subject and be able to back it up. People will respect that. You know your stance and are well educated enough to discuss it openly. Even if you do not think others will agree with you, it is okay to share your thoughts on a subject. You should still be respectful of other people's opinions and not think less of them if they disagree with you. This allows people to see your way of thinking and get an idea of how your mind works. You can also be more transparent by keeping people in the loop about your life. When people like you, they will take a genuine interest in your life, and you should be willing to let them know more about yourself. For example, if you've been working at a blogger searching for a new job, other people might be interested to know this about you. This makes it easy for other people to engage you in conversation and find out more. They may also be more likely to get involved with what you were doing and want to take part in it, which may be a potential benefit to you as well be honest. One of the most obvious yet overlooked aspects of transparency is honesty. Well, what we have covered so far implies that making yourself vulnerable involves being honest about yourself with others. It does not hurt to remind yourself of this as well. You do not want to hide who you are from other people, as they will never trust you. Do not be afraid to share your honest opinions and thoughts, even when others do not agree. You will be more successful in earning respect by sharing what you think without trying to cover it up. Anyway, this can be scary for some people as we often put a filter on ourselves to avoid judgment. As long as you approach each situation the right way and create an environment of mutual respect, you should have no problem being honest to become more transparent. Along with being honest, you should also take care not to give people a false sense of hope or provide pretenses. This is a part of being honest, but can still be a cause of misunderstanding. Sometimes just the tone of voice or way you approach a situation can give people the wrong idea and make them expect something that might not be guaranteed. For example, fewer boss at your company, and you always approach one of your employees in a cautious, friendly manner. They may not realize when an issue has become serious, even if you have redirected them in the past. Were you approached? The situation might have been misleading for them. Do not assume that people will always understand your meaning, as this can cause miscommunication. Instead, be honest and upfront about everything. Do not try to sugarcoat anything, especially when it is something important. You want people to be able not only to hear, but also to see your intentions no matter what the situation is. No, the limits. When being transparent, you should take caution not to come off its self centered. Of course, this step requires you to talk about yourself, but you must know the limits. Do not spend the entire conversation talking about yourself in your own emotions. Be sure to involve the other person and ask questions about them as well. Just as you learn from the previous steps, even if they're not being as transparent about themselves as you are, it is good to offer them. The opportunity to share after you have revealed more about yourself. Vulnerability, transparency and vulnerability will assist you in your endeavours to be influential. These are the qualities you need to get people to listen and care about. What you say is they show you that you have absolutely nothing to hide. This is a technique that the greatest of leaders used to get people to trust them and to make their disciples like them. Transparency and vulnerability also have the benefit of improving your friendships and relationships. As these streets are appreciated by just about everyone you will meet. People will also feel more connected to you when you make yourself vulnerable to them as we have covered before, This feeling of closeness will make them more likely to do what you want, which has been the overall goal for each of these steps and the next chapter, we will cover how to take an interest and others to gain influence, as this chapter has mostly revolved around getting people to know more about you. These steps, in combination with everything else that has been covered, will get you much closer to being an influential person 8. Chapter 7 - Take an Interest in Others: Chapter seven taken interest in others. A lot of this guy has focused on working with others. After all, you can only influence people that are willing to listen to you. This chapter will reiterate this important fact and help you to work even better with other people. People want to feel liked and respected, as we have discovered. It cannot be underestimated how being nice to others will get you. What you want. Part of being nice to others will also require you to take an interest in others. We already know that we should ask questions and pay full attention when other people are talking to us. You can also do a lot to show that you were attentive and listening, such as making appropriate eye contact along with what has been covered so far. There are many other ways that you can show your interest in others. One of these ways is to learn how to read people reading people. Every person has different qualities and practices that will be influenced in different ways. It will be your job to figure out how each person works so you can read what will work on them, treat people you should start by paying attention to their body, both language and characteristics. This will indicate a lot about their current emotions, and we'll tell you what they're feeling. For example, the person has their arms crossed and looks away from you. They're probably not in a great mood. You might also notice any tattoos they have or a special ring that they were wearing that you might comment on. You can learn a lot about a person just based on what they wear and how they carry themselves. So be sure to note these things when interacting with someone reading people who also involve paying attention to the emotions that they're trying to show you well, Some of this is readable from body language and appearance. You will also be able to sense emotions. Intuition will be used to understand what other people are feeling, and you should be sure to consider this an obvious signs that they're conveying. For example, when you meet someone you should think about how they're making you feel, Do you feel delighted to be around them or do you feel somewhat uncomfortable? How you feel is often based on the vibe that the other person is giving off, which might be responded to by your subconscious mind. You should also pay attention to their tone of voice and laughter as they're talking, which will convey their emotions. You may notice that some people get a higher pitch voice when they're nervous, or that their voice tends to shake around certain topics. Making note of this is important because you will be able to tell what they're feeling based on these sounds. When trying to read someone, you should also notice the spatial differences between the two of you. You can tell if someone is interested in talking to you based on how far away they center stand. The person may not necessarily have something against you personally, even if they're standing far away, but it doesn't give you an indication that something is not right. It could be that they do not want to feel intimate or vulnerable at that time. Or perhaps they're more of an introverted person in general and do not want to be closed physically by learning how to read other's. You take an interest in what they're feeling and how they act around you. You can also share your interest by offering compliments to the people you talk to. Not only does this make them feel good about themselves, they recognize that you pay attention to them. It is best of the compliments that you give are based on qualities or characteristics you have learned about a person from talking to them. Example might be that they have mentioned to you that they plan on going to the gym more often. You could use this as an opportunity to the next time to speaker notice that their arms look more toned to than before. Your compliments should be genuine, as this is what will make people feel the best. It will make them realize that you do care. Showing interest. You should also be sure to remember special occasions and events that people have going out of their lives. If they tell you that they're going on vacation or that the brother is getting married, you can remember these dates to bring them up later. It makes people feel special when you remember details about their lives, so do not just pass over them. They also did not mention them to you to be for gotten, and many people want you to remember what is going on in their life. When you make people feel remembered and show you have an interest in them, they can be easily influenced. Showing interest in others can also be a simple. It's starting a conversation with them. Do not be afraid to follow up with someone after talking to them and do not show fear of being the 1st 1 to reach out. You need to make it clear that you want to know more about that person and that you care about your connection with them. Some people are afraid of being the first to contact the other, but you show power and courage in doing so. You should also give well thought out feed bank to people to show your interest. This is accomplished somewhat by complementing, but it's not always the same. Providing feed bank offers your general thoughts on something as opposed to just the positive opinions or observations you have. You need to think about what other people tell you and judge when they want your opinion on something. People often seek approval or guidance from the people they trust, so it is a good sign if you were at this point with them. Be honest with them about your thoughts on each matter, but know your limits as well. Many people respect honesty, but you do not want to be so blunt that you heard their feelings. Your feedback needs to be both considerate and honest, so that the other person is appreciative instead of defensive. Taking an interest in people mostly involves the respect that you show others. Everything we have learned in this chapter is what you should already be doing, but maybe missing in your current interactions. If you want to have an impact on what people do, you need to make an impact on their emotions. First, no one will listen to you if you mean very little to them or do not show any interest in their lives. The point of this chapter is to help you show others that you do care and that you listen to their desires and what is going on in their lives. Hopefully, by now you have identified a few ways to go about showing an interest in other people as well as the many other ways to involve people in their lives. All of this will help you to influence them because they will pick up on the efforts that you have shown them. 9. Chapter 8 - Summary of Steps: Chapter eight Summary of Steps. This guy has covered the seven most important steps to learning how to influence people to be successful. It is important that you re do these steps as needed and practice them often. This chapter is meant to serve as a quick guide for you. Each step will be covered and given a small summary for your benefit. Step one. Having confident body language, This first step is meant to help you look the part and be confident. Start by keeping your head Push out your chest. Pull your stomach in and keep your shoulders back. Monitor any non purposeful movements you might be doing and maintain eye contact. Body language is the first impression that you give someone. So be sure that this step is always one of the first things you consider when trying to be influential. Step two. Make people like you. This step sounds easy enough, and you might already be good. It accomplishing this. If you need some help with making people like you, do not worry. You can start by being more charismatic. Do not be afraid to take control in a room and show that you care. People will respect you and enjoy being around you. It also will not hurt to make a joke every now and then as well. Being humble will also start to make others like you. So do not forget to show humility now and again. Step three. Be clear and concise. You want people to understand your message and take out any guesswork. Articulate what you want to say by taking a long, complicated words and get straight to the point. Make sure you use as many active verbs as possible and do not use vague now owns and words to send a message or ask a favor. You also want to consider what you're going to say before you say it. This will help you make your message more concise after you've simplified it. You should also be sure to start an end with the main point. Keep supporting details to a minimum and include them in the middle of your overall message . Step four. Ask for favors. Use the principles of the Ben Franklin Effect to get people to do what you ask of them by getting people to agree to do small favors for you. You can also get them to do larger favors for you afterward. You can also get people to do what you want by asking for it in an appropriate way. Be considerate of the other person and planned to ask at a time that works for them. You also want to be polite and make your intentions clear. Do not be afraid to ask a favor of someone, but also be prepared for them to decline your favor. Step five. Make emotional connections. Sometimes it is not enough to have people like you to get them to do what you want. You need to work on building meaningful relationships with them, especially if you want long lasting success and having influence over them. You can do this by having strong conversations with people and building report with them. You want them to talk about themselves and their experiences so that you can learn more about them. Once you know a lot about them, you could bring up what is going on in their life and show that you have been paying attention to what they have told you. Step six Be more transparent. You want people to know who you are and not have to guess about your life. Do not be afraid to share about yourself or any emotions you have. Being transparent will require to be more vulnerable and open up to people. You want to be honest with them and show that they can trust you. They will also feel like they know you much better, which will be an important factor in getting them to listen to you. Step seven. Taken interest in others. Do not be afraid to get to know people and pay attention to their lives. People love to feel special, and as though you care about what they say, give compliments and feedback to people when warranted. Do not be afraid to reach out to them or talk or meet up as this shows that you care. You want people to feel remembered and showing an interest in their lives will accomplish this. If you feel like you've missed any part of these steps, feel free to go back and do the chapter again. Each suggestion and tip can bring you closer to getting people to listen to you, so it is important that you understand each concept well. Once you have reviewed each step, you are ready to do it on your own. Good luck and enjoy your newly found influence over others. 10. Conclusion - How to Influence People: conclusion. Thank you for making it through to the end of this guy. Let's hope it was informative and able to provide you with all of the tools you need to achieve your goals, whatever they may be. The next step is to put the seven steps into practice so that you may begin to influence the people around you by learning and practicing each of the steps given in this guide, you will easily gain control over others and could make them do just about anything you want. You have learned new skills, such as improving body language and how to make emotional connections so that you can influence other people. It is now up to you to demonstrate your learned skills and get people to do what you want. This is no easy task, but soon you will be a professional at getting others to do your bidding. Yes, it takes a lot of practice to master the different ways to influence people you will find. Being able to influence and manipulate others could be very beneficial, especially if you are someone that needs to show dominance over others. Of course, how you want to influence others will completely depend on you. You could be someone with positive influence to your peers, or you could be someone who's very manipulative toe others.