How to Give and Receive Effective Feedback | Katiuscia Baggio | Skillshare

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How to Give and Receive Effective Feedback

teacher avatar Katiuscia Baggio, Author, ICF Coach, Leadership Trainer

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

11 Lessons (35m)
    • 1. Intro to The Course

      2:32
    • 2. The 4 Steps You Need to Use to Give an Effective Feedback

      3:46
    • 3. When You Should Not Give Feedback

      3:51
    • 4. Take Actions to Practice What You Learned

      2:08
    • 5. The Importance of Listening

      4:27
    • 6. Other Tips to Receive Feedback Effectively

      4:31
    • 7. Always Say THANK YOU!

      2:37
    • 8. Take Actions to Practice What You Learned

      3:06
    • 9. Self Reflection Post Actions

      2:52
    • 10. Building Your Action Plan

      2:15
    • 11. Conclusions and Final Message from the Trainer

      3:05
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About This Class

In 35 minutes you will learn a simple and internationally recognized framework that will help you to give and receive feedback effectively, both in personal and professional life. Self-reflection and taking actions in your life to implement the learning are part of the course.

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Meet Your Teacher

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Katiuscia Baggio

Author, ICF Coach, Leadership Trainer

Teacher

Hello, I'm Katiuscia. 

I help business people to build effective relationships with self and others using on-line courses and coaching. Since 2001 I work internationally with executives, entrepreneurs, companies and MBA participants. For 15 years I've been the executive education director of CIMBA, an American business and leadership school located in Italy. My passion for coaching led me to also be a lead trainer in a professional coach program and an ICF mentor coach.

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Transcripts

1. Intro to The Course: hi idea. I have the pleasure to be here with you to talk about important topic, which is feedback. As you probably already know. Feed Becker is an important form of communication. It's a very important tool in your personal life in your professional life, especially so be ableto convey feedback where the people, in an effective way, is essential. It's also very important that you learn how to receive feedback in a way that show others that you are open to grow that are open to learn, because also, this attitude will certainly make a difference in your life. In this course, we're going to do it together. I will have the pleasure to teach you a very simple framework, which is kind of popular all around the world. And it's about how to receive feedback in an effective way and how to give feedback so that you maximize the probability that the other person is going to listen to you is going to do something about, especially if it's a feedback for improvement, meaning that is a feedback that you give to others because you notice something that specific person that in your opinion oh, here she could do in a much more efficient and also, by the way, in other words, you also notice that the person has some potential they can exploit even more than what is doing. Actually, at the moment Ah, part from shore. You know, what is the framework? What are the stats that you can following even feedback? I will give you also the opportunity to put in practice what he will learn from one lesson to the other one. I will ask you to take actions. So to really apply the frame marker I show you. This will also imply that you will have to go out of your comfort zone from time to time because you might need to face that kind of conversation that auntie Now maybe you were postponing it. But guess what? The most juicy staff usually happen outside of your comfort zone. So in summary, this is a course that will give you the opportunity to lure toe practice. And so, on the other hand, also toe. Transform yourself in somehow at least transform yourself on the way. You will approach to feedback on the way you would communicate with people on the way. You will listen to them because an important component part of the program would be also how to listen in an active way, how to listen in a more deep way so that you will be able to receive feedback in a more effective way. Also, Are you excited about that? I am. 2. The 4 Steps You Need to Use to Give an Effective Feedback: welcome to Unit One when I'm going to show you how you can give feeble to someone in an effective way before we go to the model to the steps you can use. I want to make a distinction, first of all, between positive feedback and negative feedback. I also want to say that in reality, these distinction does no make that much sense because, as you probably already know, all the feedback are positive or the feedback, even if they're saying something that are not necessarily good about my behavior, are going to be an important occasion for me to grow to become the best person I can be if I choose to. So if you agree, I would invite you to use a specific language here that is related to feedback for improvement when I want to tell someone something that he can do, in my opinion, in a more effective way and the positive feedback just to use a simple language to indicate a feedback one where I'm going to emphasize something positive, I notice about the other person. So, having said that, let's go with the steps now. What are the steps you can use when you want to convey a feedback in an effective way. Step number one. You need to state a specific behaviour, a specific action that you noticed about that person. Step number two. You're going to say, What is the impact of that behavior that action had on you two seconds? Or pause to give the other person the time to understand what you just said? Step number four. It's about expressing your suggestion. Basically, you're going to tell the other person what you think about that action, what to think about that behavior. If it's a positive feedback, you were encouraged that person to be a more and more in that way. If it's a feedback for improvement, you will say what you would like to see instead from the other person. I give you an example. Let's suppose I'm giving you a feedback for improvement. Soto on all the four steps that I just told you, I'm going to say something like this. I notice that at the meeting we had last week with our important clients, you were kind off serious. You we're not talking that much. You were not expressing your opinions. I wanted to tell you that these made me feel a little bit uncomfortable as well. And no really willing to share what I had in my mind, I would like to ask your support for the meeting we have next week with the same people. Please, Billy, to be more open a little bit more easy, going and really to share your opinion because thes will have a great impact on myself as well. It was a feedback, A positive. I would have said something like this. The meeting we had last week I noticed that you were really willing to share your opinions , be engaged in the conversations. You were really active and these had a great impact on me because he raised my energy, made me willing to do the same. So I wanted to ask you for the meeting. We we have next week with the same people. Please do the same behaving the same way in a game because we have a great impact on myself . Stay KLIA. So now you have a distinction between positive feedback and feet before improvement. You just so how to use the first steps to convey a feedback in and affect the way which are stating basically an action that you observe, saying what was the impact of that two seconds or pause and then expressing your suggestions So your request for collaboration. 3. When You Should Not Give Feedback: what are the situations where you should never give feedback to someone, especially if it's a fever for improvement. You should never do it when you are upset, when there is something that make you frustrated or you are irritated eso you have those kind of emotions that are not going to prepare you to be your best when you convey difficult message to someone. So when you are upset, never give feedback. Also, you should never give feedback when you are not really prepared about what to say when, for example, you didn't identify a specific action, a specific behavior that you noticed in that person and you have the tendency toe offer your feedback like a general statement instead off comment instead of observation. That is really focused on something specific that you saw. For example, if I'm going to tell you Look, I think you are not so social. You're not so willing to talk with people. Usually do you think this is ah, specific feedback? Do you think I'm honoring with the statement? I made the first step that I should follow to give feed back and affect the way off? Course not. I didn't tell you a specific action, a specific behavior that I noticed on you. I just said the general opinion, Right, General interpretation. And you could say, Look, this is not true. This is your opinion. Give me a concrete situation where you notice that also, you should never give feedback, especially again for improvement to someone that is not prepared to receive it in a moment . So pay attention to what is the emotional state off the other person is here she the column Enough. Do you notice any the bid off irritation? If this is happening again, you should avoid to be feedback because you have a high probability that your comment is going to be perceived not as a way to support the other side, but as a way to attack or is away toe could the size. And when you do that, your feedback is now going to be eso effective because the other person is going to put himself on the defense positions. So instead of having the other person open and we need to listen, you go the opposite. Make also sure that you have the right amount of time you need before you start to convey your message to someone. For example, if you are in a hurry, or if the other person is in a highly and you know you have only five minutes, for example, that's not a good moment to give feedback to someone. Because off course, you don't have the time to really initiate a conversation after you will follow the footsteps. So you have the res that you will be fast in your message. And so also, you will now have the opportunity to give the other side a chance to reply. And so you maximize above ability that you're not going to be really understood. Another important point to keep in mind when you give feedback to someone is that in that situation, there will be just you and the other person. Make sure that is going to be something really private. Never give feedback when you are in a team situation, for example, when you have in a meeting because you really have the risk that your message is not going to be understood. I know right away from the person that is interest and also from the other people that are in the same room 4. Take Actions to Practice What You Learned: now that you learn the four steps that we happy to give feedback in and affect the way is the time to put in practice. So what I will ask you to do is to identify before you jump to unit two at least two people that you see quite hoping that you can refer to. To practice these four steps, feel free to inform these people that you are learning out of the feedback. So you are going to practice with them this four steps or if you prefer to avoid to say anything, that's fine. Also, the important things is that since these are the first steps that you take, that you choose people that you feel quite comfortable in doing so I invite you to give to these people, want feedback for improvement and one positive feedback not at the same time, not in the same situation. So, for example, you will give a positive feedback today to the person and then after 23 days, you can actually convey to that person also, the feedback for improvement. I suggested to start with the positive one because usually it creates better. I can me so to say so that you prepare the other person to receive a little bit later. Also, what is the feet before improvement? Another important point is that when you apply the first steps and you Oh, no, the two seconds or pause, they're going to be just two seconds and no more. Because otherwise you will remain in silence for too long. And so you give the kind of implicit invitation to the other person to jumping and expresses O'Hare Opinion. You don't want that because first of all, you want to make sure you follow all the first steps. Once you're down with that, then you can give the space to the other person to replicate, to express his opinion as well, to ask you more questions and so on. But it's important that this is going to happen after the four steps. Otherwise, you don't have a chance to really complete what you have in mind. 5. The Importance of Listening: it's now the time to focus on how you should receive feedback. How you should be a vow should react in the situation where you know the one that is offering your comments to others. But actually you are the one that is receiving if you have the time to prepare it, in the sense that you know in advance that you're going to receive a feedback like for example, you know in advance you're going to have a formal appointment with your boss because you know is going to convey you some feedback. Then what I suggest you is toe take some time to really relax to prepare your mind as much as you can. Possibly. You could practice some, for example, my fullness activities. You could focus on your breathing just for a few minutes, so that when you start to have the conversation with the person that will give you the feedback, you help yourself Toby. As much as focus on what's going on. This particular step will also help you to do another important things, which is suspend your opinion, suspend all the torso, the voices that you might hear in in your mind in order to be effective. When you receive a feedback, it's essential that you really focus on what the other person is doing. So the more you are able to suspend your opinion, your emotions, so to say your feelings and really do our conscious efforts to focus on what the other person is saying, the more you are able to show to the other person that you are willing to listen. So you're going to create that kind of relationship that kind of like a me that is going to maximize the positive results off the communication that is taking place. Another important step when you receive feedback is that you avoid absolutely avoid to interrupt the other side. It's a normal reaction. It's a normal temptation that why you are listening toward the person is telling you you might be thinking what you should say, what you should reply, especially if you don't like the kind of feedback you are receiving. Important in this case that you give the time to the other person to really finish the message, finish the feedback and then you can actually jumping. So as you can see in these particularly lesson, we're focusing on your ability to listen, the more you are able to do so, the more you are able toe. Avoid that the results of the finger communication will be no. They're the one that you any other person who lie to have and the ability to listen is tremendously important. No, just when you receive feedback. But you know the situation all of your life. Think about also your personal life, how many times your communication, your relationships could be more effective. If you could just listen more and don't get me wrong, you might have the feelings that you are already listening. The key question is, how are you going to listen to be on the other person? The most important factor is that you give the impression to the other person that you are doing your best to listen. You might still have thoughts in your mind. You might still have ah on in Palin need, you know, to say a world. But at the same time you're doing your past to really stop that and to give to the other person in the space and time to express themselves. Now you might be asking ah to yourself and also to me. But what am I going to do? You know, when I'm irritated, when I'm listening toe piece of feedback from another person and it is not necessarily a constructive feedback. It's an opportunity for the other person to almost attack me. Okay, especially situations like these is very crucial that you do your best to pause. You do your best to not react, but simply allow the communication to take place, giving the space to the other person to say what he has to say. I'm not asking you in this case to be able to totally eliminate what you will have in your mind, because it would be practically impossible unless you practice and practice into it. That But if you do your best to give space to the other person to talk and suspend your judgement as much as you can, I can absolutely guarantee you that the quality to the communication would be much better than what you're used to have 6. Other Tips to Receive Feedback Effectively: as soon as you have done your best to really listen to what the other person is telling you and suspend your judgement and giving space to the other person to talk. What is that you should do to receive feedback in an effective way after you gave the time together person to finish what the is? The message that he wants to convey to you then is the time for you to take an active role in the communication process, which means it's the time when you can. For examples, summarize with your own words what the person just told you to make sure you are on the same page and you can even say, you know, you can say sorry if I stop. You at this point would like just to make sure I understand incorrectly what you are saying . So what I'm hearing from you is that and you finish OK. This will have because we give the other person the opportunity to actually reinforce what you understood and to add possibly also more details or more concrete examples. Then you can also ask some questions. For example, if the piece of feedback that you receive is not specific enough is not concrete enough. You can ask questions to understand, to help yourself to really realize where you be a V in a certain way. And what was the impact of your behaviors on other people? Okay, after you've done that, make also sure you give the possibility to the other person to, um understand with you would would be the solution toe that. So, uh, the other person, my already they have suggested some actions and behaviors that he would like to see from your side. You can also take an active role in this in the sense that you are going to suggest your ideas on how you should be able and then asked to the other side what he thinks about that this will be a way to show that, you know, they are just to, you know, receiving input at the same time. There no there because you want to fight against the message that you're receiving. But you're there because you're looking and searching for a win win solution. Okay, a win win solution is that kind off approach that maybe you heard. The rady is very popular. When you negotiate with people because it's that kind of approach that maximize the probability that you were the other side are going to be happy. Okay, we day there is as the conversation maybe no happy 100%. But, uh, you lead the conversation so that you have a plan in place that will make both side satisfied. Okay, so these are all the stash that you can apply when you're see feedback. Do your best once again to maintain, um, behaviors that will show to the other person that you are doing your best to control your emotions. Your do your best to control your feelings. So even if you feel a little bit irritated toe, help yourself. You could also say you could say Look, I'm honest with you. What I'm listening now is not making me happy speaking about feedback for improvement off course. But I want you to understand that I'm doing my best to really listening to what you're saying and doing my best so that we can find a common solution. By doing that, you set the tone off the conversation, which is going to be not just a situation where you're going to receive a feedback. But it's going to be a specific and important moment where you build the step that will increase the quality of the relationship you have with that person. Because I can absolutely guarantee you that even if this person is not the one that you would go out for dinner or to have a drink, so meaning that even though you re left with that person is no so good quality speaking, you're going to increase the level of trust that the other person can have on you because the kind of efforts you're putting places perceivable okay. And even if you don't see me that with the results of bad in the media in a long time of their relationship, this is going to pay out, especially if it's a relationship you have in your personal life. But also in your professional life where you are don't have the freedom to choose the people you have around you, you know, but you have to learn out toe, cope with situations and people that you don't necessarily like all the times 7. Always Say THANK YOU!: And how about when you received positive feedback? How do you normally react to that? Do you usually a SAB the positive comments you receive from the other side in an easy way? How old do you feel the necessity to justify yourself and you start say, Well, yeah, but you know, this is not necessarily true. I'm not so good in doing that. I'm not so good in doing so. This could be a normal reaction, because for some people it looks like it's even more are to receive positive fever from the others, then receiving food before improvement. Because maybe that's the way they've been used, you know, since they they were child. They've been used to believe that they should focus on what they need to improve instead of what they're good at, you know, because what they're good at, it simply what they should do. So observe yourself also in a what are you reactions when you receive feedback for improvement and what are your reactions when you receive instead, a positive feedback when you receive a positive feedback, the step that you can apply to receive the positive feedback in an effective way are still the same that you can apply when you receive a fit before improvement. With the exception that probably you don't need to ask questions to have Ah, maybe concrete examples. Or you don't need to look for a win win solution, you know, because basically what you're receiving, it's a compliment. So it's, ah, message that is going to encourage you to be a more and more in a certain way because what you did it was actually good. So the recommendation I have for you in this case is particularly to pay attention to what are your emotions, your reactions when you receive a positive feedback. And also make sure, um, in this case, and also when you see feel before improvement toe and the communication with two magic wars , which I actually thank you when you receive a positive comments, it's going to be unstinting, probably to say so. But make sure you do it because, uh, from the other side is always a good sign to see that there is, you know, appreciation for ah, comments that they just share and say with your heart, say thank you with your heart. Don't say just because you know they're nice towards. By Shane E. With your heart and really mean it. You pass the right energy to the other person. You make them feel that you're really appreciating what's happening, what's going on. 8. Take Actions to Practice What You Learned: Now that you know what are the steps you can put in place to help yourself To receive feedback in an effective way is the time to take actions. It's the time to put in practice what you learned so far. So between now and next week, I invite you to take all the possible situations in your life. A to home in your job, where you are quite to listen to the other people in a certain way because maybe a person is going to share with you an important story, an important fact that happened to hair all because I sure you are completely receiving a feedback. Do your best when you are in communication with someone to put your focus totally on. What are the world that the person is saying? Listen to understand and possibly listen also to connect, meaning that you're going to leave essential that you can do your best to put yourself on other people's shoes and imagine feeling also, what are the emotions that the other person might have? By doing these, you start to build your muscles that would allow you to listen more and more in an active way, especially when you are receiving, ah, feedback that you don't necessarily like then also invite you to identify all the possible situations when someone is giving you a concrete feedback and apply those steps that we saw , which imply asking questions, summarizing what you just heard looking for Are we win solutions? Now you may say, Look, who knows eveything? One week I'm going to have a concrete situations where this is going to happen. Maybe nobody is going to give me feedback, you know, And you're right, This could be the case. So what I'm asking you to do is to be the one that is going to create the opportunity, meaning that I invite you to identify two people in your professional life and possibly two people in your personal life as well. And you're going to ask to these people to give you feedback to give you a sincere feedback about something that they notice about you about your behavior about your actions, professor, probably related to a specific situation. Okay, when you will receive this feedback from these people, you will have the opportunity to apply. But it's a slur. So take actions. It's important that you put in practice what you're learning here and observe yourself how you're going to react, how you're going to feel actually when you are receiving the comments from the other people . And after that, the communication took place. Take these actions both for feedback for improvement and positive feedback. So ask these people to give you two pieces of positive feedback and two pieces possibly off feedback for improvement. Go ahead to make it happen. 9. Self Reflection Post Actions: now that you have a chance toe take actions to really apply the steps in giving feedback in a certain way in receiving feedback in a way that show the other person that you released saying that you're really open toe, you know, SAB the message. What was holding you back? Usually when I work with executives and entrepreneurs in companies they used to say Look catty, I apply the staff that you were teaching me, but it wasn't so easy because I didn't feel it was happening spontaneously. What I was doing, I felt like I was a report, you know, applying all the four steps or other people are saying. I said, That's an action, you know, to give feedback to my boss, for example, to my co workers. But in the end, I didn't do it because I felt that maybe especially was when I was giving a field before improvement, the other person was not going to really understand the message. Maybe I was not expressing myself in a proper way. Maybe because of that they call it to the relationship was not going to be the same. I was used to have always going to be even worse than what I was having, you know, So because of all of these people, usually they don't take actions. They don't give feedback following the steps in a so easy way unless they take a conscious air force. And they force themselves a little bit to do that, you know, because, ah, this is not, ah, leadership ability that will happen out the blue. It's not because you learn the first steps in how to give and receive feed, basin and affect the way you're going to become, you know, magically a master in that and it's normal that you feel that kind of resistance that you might have. You know, eso What I invited to do is to take a moment now into the flight or your experience. When you, um, did your best in these days to offer your feedback to someone what was happening in your mind. What kind of messages? Where you giving to yourself that ah ah wearing somehow influencing your ability to convey your feedback when you were receiving feedback again. What kind of emotions? What kind of feelings do you have and what did you do concretely After? Did you take actions anyway, despite your feelings and your fears? Or did you block yourself from taking the actions that you said you were going to do? Take a moment flat in your experience and right now your answers. 10. Building Your Action Plan: Welcome back now that you had a change to apply your actions Now that you have the chance to see what was happening. Knew when you were giving feedback when he were receiving feedback and you took the opportunity to take a snapshot about what kind of emotions you were experiencing. Emotions they may be. Was supporting Ewing taking actions or emotions that on the other side, with no really allowing you to do what you were intending to do, For example, you might have experienced a sense off feeling comfortable, some kind of fears when you were going to give feedback, especially to people that are important to you. Oh, also, when you were receiving feedback, er, maybe you felt under stress uncomfortable. You didn't like the message actually that you received. So it's good that you took some time to take a snapshot about what was happening. Now it's the time to see what is that you committed to do in the future when these emotions will prop up again and they're going to be a knob Stoeckel for you toe, apply what you learn in the scopes. What are you going to do? Are you going to allow those emotions to stop you. Or are you committee to take actions anyway? What I invited to do now is toe again. Take a moment, write down on a piece of paper. What are the actions that you're committed to do from now on, when you were experience again Those emotions, particularly when you are going toe, offer your feedback. Ah, positive feedback and also feedback for improvement. What are you committed to do? Take some moments and write down your actions when you are receiving feedback? What are you committed to do? That you didn't do anti? Now how are you going to really apply what you learn in the score so far? Take some moments and write down at least three actions that will allow you That will push you to implement what you got from this course. 11. Conclusions and Final Message from the Trainer: fantastic. Now you have an actual plane that will assist you to take actions actually, to implement what you got from the scores when this course will be over and you did an amazing journey. If you think actually, because you started by learning the first steps, that will allow you to give feedback in on a fatty way. Then you focus on what the teams, the behaviors, the attitude you should have. Actually, when you're going to receive feedback in an effective way, you also took some moment to explore. What was your reactions when you were taking actions to apply? What I ask you to do in this course, actually, And then you also made an agreement with yourself about what you are committed to do from now on toe. Apply what you learn in the scores in spite of your feelings and emotions. Isn't that fantastic? Please remind yourself. Keep in mind that those kind of unpleasant emotions that you experience when you were taking actions, they probably will prop up again. You know, in your life they're not going to suddenly disappear, so they are part of the game. They're part of the process accepting those emotions and acting. Despite of them, it's what we call leadership. So keep in mind, it's not going to be easy. Giving you receiving feedback is not going to be like a magically something you can do out of the blue after the scores. The more you practice, the more you're going to take actions. The more you force yourself to do what you want to do, uh, more. Actually, those four steps of giving feedback in on the fact away receiving feedback in a more easy way, we become part of who you are. This is not going to happen because you take actions once or twice. You need to do it regularly. So I bite you to make an agreement with you again. Make a commitment to apply those steps. The framework I teach you every week. Because by doing that, then your time and investment, the time in investment that you are decided to, you know, give to the scores will make more and more sense. So I want to express you my congratulations for being so diligent and ah, you know, started the scores arriving unto the end. They call the stuff that I invite you to do my which for you? Is that what you learn here? It would be an opportunity and not only, you know, to give feedback and see feedback in a more effective way, but truly to get more fulfillment in your life. Because I can guarantee you that by applying what you got here, the quality of your relationship with people will increase. And, uh, this is my best, Which for you Thank you so much for your attention, your energy, your commitment. And I wish you all the best.