How to Communicate Effectively: 7 Easy Steps to Master Communication Skills & Business Conversations | Caden Burke | Skillshare

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How to Communicate Effectively: 7 Easy Steps to Master Communication Skills & Business Conversations

teacher avatar Caden Burke, Leadership Skills Teacher

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
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Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

9 Lessons (1h 7m)
    • 1. Introduction - How to Communicate Effectively

      2:12
    • 2. Chapter 1 - Step 1: Engage in Listening

      6:00
    • 3. Chapter 2 - Step 2: Look for Nonverbal Signals

      10:35
    • 4. Chapter 3 - Step 3: Manage Your Stress

      15:05
    • 5. Chapter 4 - Step 4: Be Direct

      4:52
    • 6. Chapter 5 - Step 5: Be Confident

      10:02
    • 7. Chapter 6 - Step 6: Build Relationships

      10:39
    • 8. Chapter 7 - Step 7: Use the PIP Approach

      3:16
    • 9. Conclusion - How to Communicate Effectively

      4:19
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About This Class

Are you looking to up your game as a communicator? Are you struggling to get your message out, or not sure how to combat the nerves? Are you having trouble getting your message across to others?

“How to Communicate Effectively” is a great guide to help you make a move from simply talking to being someone who people admire and respect as an effective communicator. Mastering the skills of communication can be a complex and daunting task, but those complexities are broken down into 7 easy and actionable steps.

When you communicate, there are many things to consider and so many levels to assess. As a person who is communicating a message or task, you have to gain the buy-in of the other party. As a person who is resolving conflict, you have to be able to assess the situation and not form a judgment in one way or another.

The guidance you can gain from within these chapters will help you to grow as a communicator but also as a person. As you progress on the road to effective communication, you will learn many tips and tricks that can help you achieve goals you may not have realized were possible.

YOU WILL LEARN
• Why listening is an important step in communicating.
• How to become an engaged listener.
• Techniques for reading non-verbal signals.
• Why it is important to understand non-verbal cues.
• How to manage your stress or nerves.
• How to be direct.
• Why confidence is important.
• How to build your confidence.
• Why building relationships is essential to effective communication.
• The PIP approach for handling presenting or dealing with conflict.
• And much more.

Regardless of where you are on your journey as a communicator, this can provide you with a guide for success. The ball is in your court. Let’s see what you can do to make opportunities happen!

Meet Your Teacher

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Caden Burke

Leadership Skills Teacher

Teacher

Caden Burke is the teacher of the "Leadership Skills" course series. He was formerly a literary agent with Curtis Black Ltd. and writes a popular blog on Leadership Skills. Burke turned to teaching several years ago to fulfil his life dream of educating students on the topic of Leadership & Management. He lives in New York City.

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Transcripts

1. Introduction - How to Communicate Effectively: How to communicate effectively? Are you looking to up your game as a communicator? Are you struggling to get your message out or not sure how to combat the nerves? Are you having trouble getting your message across to others? Quote, how to communicate effectively. And a quote is a great guide to help you make a move from simply talking to being someone who people admire and respect as an effective communicator. Mastering the skills of communication can be a complex and daunting task. But those complexities are broken down into seven easy and actionable steps. You will always be able to apply these seven steps and improve your skills. No matter if you are now at a beginner, intermediate, advanced level, when you communicate, there are so many things to consider and so many levels to assess. As a person who was communicating a message or task, you have to gain the buy-in of the other party. As a person who has resolving conflict, you have to be able to assess the situation and not form a judgment in one way or another. The guidance you can gain from within these chapters will help you to grow as a communicator, but also as a person. As you progress on the road to effective communication, you will learn many tips and tricks that can help you achieve goals you may not have realized where possible. You will learn why listening is an important step in communicating. How to become an engaged listener. Techniques for reading non-verbal signals. Why it is important to understand nonverbal cues? How to manage your stress or nerves, how to be direct. Why confidence is important? How to build your confidence. Why building relationships is essential to effective communication. The PIP approach for handling, presenting or dealing with conflict and much more. Regardless of where you are on your journey as a communicator. This can provide you with a guide for success. The ball is in your court. Let's see what you can do to make opportunities happen. 2. Chapter 1 - Step 1: Engage in Listening : Chapter 1, step 1, engage in listening. One big mistake people make is thinking that communication is all about what we are saying. When in fact, effective communication is less about what you say and more about listening. To be an effective listener, you do not simply understand the information or words being spoken, but you also recognize the emotions behind those words. There is quite a difference between simply hearing someone and being an engaged listener. Those who are really listening are engaged with a subject. They hear the little intonations in the person's voice. These are cues to how the person is feeling or the emotion that the person wants to communicate or not communicate. As an engaged listener, you can better understand the person speaking, which in turn makes that person feel understood and heard. This leads to stronger relationships between you and the speaker. As you grow in your skills as an engaged listener, you may find that the process lowers your stress and bounces your emotional and physical well-being. If you are conversing with someone that is calm, you may find that it calms you as well. If you are speaking with a person who was upset, you also might find that listening attentively and calm manner can make that person feel understood and calm the situation. As an engaged listener, your goal should be to connect and completely understand the other person speaking. This can be hard when you're just beginning to build your skills as an engaged listener. Nevertheless, the more you practice, the better your skills will become. And you'll begin to see the rewards form your actions through your interactions with others. So how do you become a better listener? Focus on the speaker. To an engaged listener, your focus should be on the speaker. This means that you should not check your phone or think about other things while they are speaking. When someone else is speaking, you should stay in the moment and focused on the experience. In doing this, you are able to pick up on a subtle cues that are occurring in the conversation. In some instances, when you are struggling to stay focused on the speaker, try repeating what they are saying in your head. This is a great way to reinforce the subject. Listen with your right ear. I understand this sounds really strange, but hear me out. The left side of the brain is where the majority of our primary processing comes from, like emotion in speech comprehension. Our brains work in what seems like a crazy way. So our left side of our brain is actually connected to the right side of our body. So favoring your right ear can help you to pick up on those emotional toners changes when someone is speaking, redirecting, we're interrupting. There are many reasons we should not interrupt people while they are speaking. First off, it is rude behavior and shows you have little respect for the person. Second, the person is most likely not going to listen. Listening is not just a process of waiting for your turn to speak. When you are thinking about what you will say next, you're not concentrating on what the person is saying. You have allowed your brain to move on and begin to form your next thoughts. Often the person you are conversing with can pick up on your nonverbal cues when you're no longer listening and thinking ahead or your mind is elsewhere, give feedback. One way to help you as a listener is to provide feedback when you are working to become an engaged listener, it is not always easy. One tip is to reflect on what has already been said by providing feedback through paraphrase. So you might say something like, So you are saying, what I'm hearing is both are acceptable ways to reconnect the conversation. One thing to remember when using this technique is to not simply just repeat the speaker, but put it in your own words. This makes you sound more sincere as if you are intelligently listening and engaging with the conversation. When you need to clarify a point, you can do the same thing by saying, is that this what you mean? Insert your own warning to clarify. What do you mean when you say both of these phrases, show the person you are speaking with that you are interested in and engaged in the subject. You can also provide nonverbal cues to give the other party cues that you are engaged in. These queues would include things like smiling, nodding, and keeping your posture open. Even small verbal cues are great ways to let the speaker know that you are with them, like yes or I understand. No judgment. Let me be clear about this one. You do not have to agree or like someone else's opinions, values or ideas. However, to effectively communicate, you have to be able to set aside your personal judgments and criticism so you can understand them. This can be very difficult, but it is key to be able to gain a full picture of the conversation and understand where the other person is coming from. The ultimate goal here is for those of different options to have them yet be able to communicate effectively with each other. To do this, you have to be able to set your opinions and views temporarily to the side and listen emotions and words. The majority of people use a range of frequency and their speech. As you become more and more aware of these different frequencies, you will be able to tune your hearing. These queues allow you to understand better the emotion behind the words people are using. To tune your hearing, you need to give the muscles in your middle ear a workout. You can exercise these tiny muscles by singing, listening to various high frequency music like Mozart, where low-frequency rock or pop. As you grow your skills and listening, you will also be growing your skills as a communicator. Sometimes what we hear is more important than what we might have thought we need to contribute. It is important to be able to engage in good listening practices so that when it is time to communicate, you have the best chances of sharing the most valuable information. 3. Chapter 2 - Step 2: Look for Nonverbal Signals: Chapter 2, step 2, look for nonverbal signals. Believe it or not, the way you move, look, listen, and react to others. Tells people more about what you are feeling than words can ever do alone. Nonverbal communication includes your facial expressions, body gestures, movement, posture, eye contact, tone of voice, and even the tension in your muscles and breathing. Growing your ability to pick up on nonverbal communication can improve your engagement with others. It can help you to better connect as well. It can help you to express yourself better as well. When you are navigating situations that are challenging or trying to build relationships, you personally can improve your communication by being aware of your body language. Open body language is an important way to encourage communication. Standing with arms open, making eye contact, or sitting at the edge of your seat. Q. Subconsciously, people that you are actively engaged in the conversation. You can also use your body language to enhance your message. If you are complimenting someone, pat them on the back, or if you are trying to get the point across, you might underline your message with a clenched fist. Reading non-verbal communication. Simply being aware that nonverbal communication is happening is not enough to be an effective communicator. You need to be equipped with the skills to read that communication. Depending on the setting, will sometimes determined the nonverbal cues that you will get. Here are some things to look for when reading non-verbal communication. Be aware of differences. Nonverbal communication and gestures can vary by country and culture. It is important to be aware that people are all different, but these differences are not limited to their country or culture, their gender, religion, culture, age, and emotional state can all play a role. And when reading their body language, think of it like this. A grieving widow, teenager and asian businessman are almost likely not to use the same non-verbal signals. The key here is simply to recognize and be aware that differences will exist. Focus on groups signals. When communicating with a group, it is better to focus on the group signals rather than the individual gestures or nonverbal cues. This requires you to consider the group as a whole and be aware of the groups movement, eye contact, tone of voice, and body language. It is not uncommon to lose just one member of the group to briefly crossed their arms without meaning to. The thing you need to consider is how the group as a whole is reading. Are they open or closed? What does the groups read? Your delivery of nonverbal cues. Part of improving your communication is understanding how you can better provide nonverbal communication to those you are conversing with. The following are ways in which you can improve your nonverbal signals. Match your signals to your words. One key thing you should do is be sure that you are matching your signals with the words you are speaking. If you say one thing, but your body is queuing something else, you're confusing your listener. It is like the child who is saying no, but shaking their head. Yes. This can leave the other party's questioning your integrity or confused. Another example is if you are sitting with your arms crossed and shaking your head, yes, you are sending a mixed message. Your arms crossed is a signal that you are closed off, but shaking your head yes. Is saying you are in agreement. This can lead to misunderstandings and confusion, which is why your actions are just as important as the words you speak. Adjust for context. Another aspect of your nonverbal communication is the ability to adjust your signals based on the context of the message. The tone of your voice is a wonderful example. Think of a teacher. That tone she or he uses with students quite often be different than the tone they use with adults. The same processes of tonal adjustment can be used when dealing with different emotional states or cultures, you may interact with. Negative language. The most effective communicators avoid using negative body language. The trick that they often use is body language that exudes positive feelings. This is even true when they are not specifically experiencing them. When a highly effective communicator is nervous for a presentation or even a job interview. They work to send out positive body language. This sends a message of confidence, even when they are not necessarily feeling confident, rather than being tentative as they enter the room. The hold their head up and make eye contact. Standing tall, shoulders, back, and smiling are great ways to ensure that the other party sees you as a person with confidence. In turn, when you act with confidence and carry yourself in that manner, you will improve your self-confidence and actually put the other person at ease. Tricks to understand body language. Just like any language, it takes time to learn and be able to pick up and all the different cues. For some, it is like learning a second or third language. There are many different things to look at and pick up on. Some of these cues are subtle and others are telling. Here are some great tricks for being able to understand what those cues are. Resistance to your ideas. When communicating with someone who crosses their arms and legs, they are showing you a physical cue. They are putting a physical barrier between you and them. This is to say to you that they are not open to your ideas are what you are saying. This is even true if they are smiling, enacting, engaged in the conversation. Their body language is telling the true story. A study was done of over 2000 negotiations. And in every situation where one of the parties had their legs crossed while working with deal, there was no final agreement. It is a psychological thing that legs and arms crossed signal to the other person physically, mentally and emotionally, block off what is in front of them. While this may not be intentional, it is a subconscious action. And it can be quite revealing if the person is truly accepting of the conversation. Eyes do not lie. Smiling is something that can be a complete lie. It is easy for people to put a fake smile on their face to hide what they are really feeling. However, genuine smiles reached the eyes. This is that they create a crinkle in the skin around the eyes. This is often known as crows feet around the eyes. If you want to know if someone is genuinely smiling, look for the crinkle around their eyes. If not, it could be hiding something behind her smile. Mirroring. Have you ever been to the store and smiled at the person walking towards you and they in turn smile back, or have you ever been in a meeting and cross your legs and they did the same or been in a situation and nod your head and the other person started nodding also. This is a good thing. This is called mirroring body language. This happens when subconsciously we fill a bond with a person. It is a great signal that your conversation is going well, or that the other party is responsive to the message. If you are in a situation where you are negotiating, this is an excellent signal that things are going in your favor and they are considering the deal you are offering. Posture is telling if you have ever walked into a room and immediately felt that you weren't control, you might have experienced this. The posture of the individuals in the room sends a signal and is an excellent way to read the room. If the person you are speaking with is sitting up straight, chances are they are receptive to what you are about to speak with them about. Our brains are wired to equate power with the amount of space people take up. If someone has slouching or working to make themselves small, we read them as unimportant or a slacker. Whereas on the other hand, if someone is sitting up tall with good posture, they are commanding respect and looking to engage lying eyes. Chances are you may have heard the look me in the eyes when you talk to me. The line so many parents have used on their children throughout the years. This is because often it is hard to look someone in the eyes and light to them. Those that are skilled in truth fabrication often work very hard to hold someone's gaze one line. The problem here is that often those that are using this constant eye contact often do it in a way that makes the eye contact feel uncomfortable. The average American holds eye contact for approximately 10 to seven seconds longer if they are listening when someone is talking. So if you are talking with someone who was staring at you without blinking, something just might be up. You should tread carefully. Eyebrows and discomfort. A person's eyebrows are one of the most interesting cues for conversation. They can single many different emotions and situations from fear to worry, to surprise. Have you ever tried to raise your eyebrow when having a relaxed conversation with a friend? It is really hard when someone who is talking with you raises an eyebrow about the topic. And it is not something that logically points to a surprise. That person could be signaling a sign of discomfort or worry or fear. Exaggerated nodding when someone is exaggerated in anybody queue, it often can be a signal of anxiety. Specifically when nodding. This can be that the person is unsure about the approval, but likely does not want to share that. One reason that people react or send the Q out in this way is that they are fearful of how you will react or what you will think about them, or their ability to complete the instructions you have given them. As an effective communicator, this is your opportunity to reassure and communicate that you are there for support or that you believe in their capabilities. Stress signal, furrowed brow, Titan neck, or clenched jaw is all nonverbal cues for stress. Regardless of what the person is saying, they are in discomfort and are sending that signal out. Conversation could be about something they are uncomfortable with or anxious about. Their mind, maybe somewhere else completely. And they are focusing on that which is causing the stress. The key here is to watch for the mismatch queues between body language and their verbal communication. 4. Chapter 3 - Step 3: Manage Your Stress: Chapter 3, step 3, manage your stress. Stress has a huge impact on our mind, body, and soul. It can also impact how we communicate with others. Think for a moment, if you have ever had a disagreement with someone, said something or done something, you regret it later. This could have been with a friend, co-worker, kids, spouse, boss, really anyone? The key here is finding a way to relieve stress and censor yourself to a calm state before you responded to help you avoid these regrets. Sometimes doing so can also help you relax or calm the other party in this situation as they too can feed off the signals you are putting out. When you are in a state that is relaxed and calm, you are better equipped to assess the situation and determine if it requires a response where things are better left unsaid. It is likely that you have situations in your life where you will need to manage our emotions and think on your feet. Being an effective communicator is something that is highly helpful when under pressure. Some of the most effective communicators use these tricks when in high pressure situations. Small tactics. Sometimes you just need to give yourself time to think. So ask a question to be repeated before you respond. Pause. Silence is not always a bad thing. Sometimes you need to pause and collect your thoughts before you respond. This way, you're not rushing a response. You are allowing yourself to control the flow of the conversation. 1, making a single point, for example, for a situation is often much more powerful. When you have too long of a response, the listener will begin to lose interest in tune you out. Speak clearly. How you say things is often just as important as what you say. Speaking clearly and in the proper tone with eye contact can help you deliver your message. Summarize. When you are finished, summarize your response and stop talking. Even if that means the room is silent. You do not have to be the person that breaks the silence, releasing your stress for effective communication. It is going to happen from time to time that a conversation is going to turn the heat up and things are going to get heated. In these instances, you need to have some tools in your communication box to bring the emotional intensity back down quickly. Personally, you can learn to reduce your stress at the moment by taking stock in the fact that your emotions are strong, by regulating your feelings and acting in an inappropriate manner. Here are a few ways to deal with your stress. Recognize it. Your body will send you signals that you are becoming stressed. Some of these might be your muscles are tightening, your hands, might be clenched, your breathing shallow. These are all signs you should recognize. Everyone is unique and your body will tell you when it is experiencing stress. Be an engaged listener to your body. Calm down. Ally yourself a moment to calm down before reacting or continuing the conversation. This may mean that you have to tell the other individual that you will pick up a conversation at a later time. There is nothing wrong with postponing a conversation rather than saying things that you regret. Use your senses, your sight, sound, taste, touch, smell, and even movement are excellent ways to ground you back to the moment. You can do a number of sensory things to help reduce stress. Squeeze a stress ball in your pocket, take a deep breath, tense, and release your muscles. Each person responses sensory input differently. So you will need to find the coping process that is most soothing for you. Laugh, okay, maybe not out loud in some situations. But look for the humor in this situation. This is a great way to relieve stress when communicating, but use it appropriately. It is easy to start taking things way too seriously. And often just lightening the mood with a joke can make all the difference in the stress level of your group. Compromise. Finding a way that both parties can bend a little, allows you to meet on common ground. This reduces the stress for everyone concerned. Occasionally, you may run into a situation where the other person is more passionate about the situation than you are. So that compromise may be easier for you. When you compromise, it helps to build a better, more balanced relationship in the future. Agree to disagree. Sometimes there's just no middle ground to be found in a situation. And the only way to dissolve the situation is to agree that you cannot agree simply. In these instances, it is best to remove yourself from the environment and take time for personal reflection and to calm yourself down. One method to do this is with physical movement. The secret to the feeding stress. Stress is one of those things that can sneak up on you when you're not expecting it. We know that there will be stress in our lives. And the biggest part of the battle that many felt to remember is the way we respond to stress dictate so many things in our lives. There is one big secret to combating a winning the war against the stresses in our lives. And that lies on what you do when you're not stressed. A hobby you love, it's a great way to relieve stress. However, even if you have a hobby that you love, chances are you're not going to spend more than 10 percent of the time you have away from work doing that hobby, it boils down to what you are doing with the remaining 90 percent of your free time. The last thing you probably want to hear is that you need to structure that 90 percent. I know you're off. This is your free time, please. No, no structure. Hear me out. If you do not structure this time, you are more likely to fall into bad habits. And these bad habits are even more likely to increase your stress rather than release it. There is a key here. And if you are working too much, you might find these guidelines are hard to follow. I know we're all busy and there was always work to do. But if you are putting in 80 plus hours a week, you most likely will not have the focus or energy to use her outside of work time wisely. A side point. If you are working that much, there really is no point to it. Stafford conducted a study and found that productivity per hour significantly declines when someone walks in excess of 50 hours. When they go over 55 hours, it declines even more rapidly. And on and on. So what I'm saying is that the people who are working 55 hours are getting the same amount of work done as the people that are working 70 hours. So if you are in this boat, it is time to figure out what you are accomplishing in these extra hours and how you can adjust your workload to accomplish the same amount and less time. When you do this, you will begin to see a shift in your stress level. And then you can apply the following tips to shift your gears and increase your relaxation and rejuvenation. Tip number 1, unplug. One of the best things you can do, all of these on the list is to unplug or disconnect. You need to find a way to remove yourself from work. Or you may never truly feel like you left. When you make yourself constantly available, you overload your stressors and do not allow yourself to refocus and recharge. This is because you are constantly still working. You are still stressing over what could be or what the current situation is. I get it. Sometimes it is not realistic to take the entire weekend off and leave the e-mails and phone calls from Monday. However, one method you could do is set specific times where you are not going to do these things. Where you are going to focus on your family getting a haircut, or even just having dinner with friends. Scheduling yourself blocks of time where you are unavailable is a great way to relieve stress without sacrificing your availability. Tip number two, fewer chores. A definite free time killer is chores, and they are one of the biggest things that will monopolize your free moments. Even worse, is most chores feel like work. So when you spend all your free time doing chores on the weekend, you lose your opportunity to relax. One way to do this is to create a schedule so that the things you can't get done during the week are accomplished by then. This allows you to have your days off be free or for other things. If something isn't completed by the weekend, then you complete it first over the weekend. If your budget allows thinking about any chores you can outsource. Could you have a cleaning person come once a week and do the bathrooms and other cleanings around the house. Can you afford to pay the neighbor kid to cut your grass? Sometimes we just need to be smarter with our time. Tip number 3 workout. This one is hard for many people and we make excuse after excuse after excuse for not taking care of our body. However, exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress. As your blood flows, it helps your neurotransmitters to get firing, reducing your stress level. And also, some have found that it sparks new ideas. Exercise does not mean that you need to go and join a gym or head out to a hot yoga. Exercise can look different to every single person. Some fines, surfing, a great activity, others walking, others dancing, and others gardening, whatever it is for you, you need to find a way to get your endorphins fueled. The key here is finding a physical activity and making it a part of your routine. Tip number 4, have a passion. Often people think that they have nothing they are interested in outside of their job, that they cannot make time for things that they might be passionate about. However, by indulging your passions, you are allowing yourself a way to escape your stresses and open your mind to different ways of thinking. Passions can include anything from artistic things like music, writing and painting, to even playing catch with your children. These moments and passions helped to stimulate different modes and your inner being and give you something to look forward to when dealing with the stresses and pressures of the week. Tip number 5, quality time. If you want to relax and recharge, One of the best ways to do this is by spending quality time together with friends or family. The week can be a very hectic time and fly by with very little time for the family to come together. One big issue is when we allow this to bleed over into our weekends, when we just allow our busy schedules to become one constant blur of running from here to there. Make time to do other things. Scheduling dinner at your favorite restaurant. We're taking your kids to the park or meeting your friends for coffee. Tip number 6, mini adventures. Go on many adventures. No one said you have to plan a trip around the world to take an adventure. Doing something you haven't done before is a great way to release tension and stress. Get tickets to a play you have not seen. Go on a road trip to a town you've never visited Stanford cool hotel. Rather than running on the treadmill, head out for a run in the park. Think of things in the process of it is an adventure. This puts it in a positive mindset, allows you to think of it in a positive way. Knowing you have a mini adventure coming up on Saturday will help you to look forward to the weekend and motivates you to accomplish the things you need to you may even find it improves your mood throughout the week. Tip number 7, routine. One thing that can feel so good as sleeping in that extra bit, but it is a temporary feeling. Think of it like when you take that double espresso shot and you are pumped up on energy but only for a little while. Yeah, that is exactly what sleeping in does for you. The problem is when you sleep in and you are messing with your body's circadian rhythm, which can actually aggravate depression. As you sleep, your body goes through an amazing process to help you wake, rested and refreshed. One of these is preparing yourself to wake before your alarm goes off. Your brain actually gets trained and it's ready to wake up. When you sleep in, your brain gets confused and you often feel groggy and tired when you wake up. This can be disruptive to so many parts of your body and actually cause you to have poor performance and increased stress as you will be less productive on Monday when it has to get back on their regularly scheduled programming. When you feel like you're going to need more sleep, it is always better to go to bed earlier than to try and Sleeping. Tip number 8, reflection. Taking a look back and reflecting on the previous week is a powerful tool to use. It allows you to see what your week was like, where you had room for improvements and where you are headed in your career. When you do this in your free time, you do not have the distractions of your week. You were able to see the week as a whole. And it can provide you with the insight for how to format that approach your work for the next week. Tip number 9, me time, weekends or a time when you will often find yourself spread out in many different directions, tried to meet the needs of your family and friends. However, it is important to make some me time. One way to do this is to designate that the first bit of time in the morning is your mean time. This allows you to find time for engaging in the thing you are passionate about to make time for your mind and force yourself to stay with your circadian rhythm. If you are waking up at the same time every day, you typically will have extra time in the morning to yourself. This is a perfect time for self-development, self-reflection or do physical activity. Remember that your mind is at its peak when you first wake up. Tip number ten, prepare a little time. Preparing for the next week is a great way to up your game and get you set up for the upcoming week. The process of planning your week can reduce your stress and allow you to go into the week with a positive outlook on where you are heading. It can also increase your productivity and help you to handle the curve balls better as they are thrown your way. Bringing it all together. When you are stressed, your ability to communicate effectively reduces drastically. Stress can cause you to fail to engage in situations and ultimately lead to burn out. The harder you work to succeed does not mean that the better you are. It often means the more you're in over your head and need to re-evaluate where you are. This is where skills as a communicator come into play. When you find yourself in the position where stresses taking control of a situation, it is time to sit down with your supervisors and open the lines of communication. Many will not see this as an area of weakness, but they will welcome to communication. Good leaders want their leaders and teams to succeed at their optimum levels and welcome the opportunity to help them grow. The key here is to not let stress get to the point where you cannot find ways to relieve and relax. You can not be the best version of you if you allow stress to be in control. 5. Chapter 4 - Step 4: Be Direct: Chapter 4, step 4. The direct, one of the best ways to communicate with others is to be direct and assertive. This can also help to boost your decision-making skills and self-esteem. Society often looks at being assertive as a negative thing when in fact, it is just a way of expressing your thoughts, needs, and feelings openly and honestly while still showing yourself and others respect. Being assertive does not mean that you must be aggressive, demanding, or hostile. None of those traits are effective as a communicator. One thing you must remember is that being an effective communicator and you need to be understanding of the opposing persons view, not simply focused on a forcing your point when in the argument or forcing her opinion on to someone else. There are a few things when you begin to embrace who you are and communicating, even though you aren't engaged listener, you still have value and your opinion still matter. They are just as important as anyone else's opinion. The key is to learn how to express your needs and wants while finding a way to not infringe on anyone else. This can be tricky, but the more you work towards it, the better you'll get at it. You also have to be willing and accepting a feedback. You need to accept any feedback positively. Learning from your mistakes and growing. It's just a part of life. People make mistakes and when you can embrace the mistake, uh, move forward, you'll be much happier. Now, all of this is not to say you have to take on everything you are offered. Sometimes you will need to say no. You must know your limits and not allow others to take advantage. One way to address this situation is to look for alternatives. Is there another way that everyone will be satisfied? The right way to be assertive? It all begins with first understanding how to be empathetic. And empathetic person can understand what the other person's coming from. Those who practice empathetic assertion are sensitive to situations and feelings of those around them. When learning to do this, you need to recognize that regardless of the situation, the other person has feelings. What you have recognized this, you can then state your need or opinion, something like this. Quote. I understand that you have been busy with your work, but I need you to make time for this project as well. And equipped. Knowing when to escalate your assertiveness can be tricky. It is not always a cut and dry situation. When you are trying to communicate, it is best to attempt all ways in which you can share your perspective before escalating. When you feel that you are unable to get your point across in a respectful manager, you need to increase your firmness. An example, this could be, quote, failure for you to hold up your end of the contract will require me to pursue legal action and a quote, you should always stay with the issue is and then what the resolution may result in. As you grow and finding ways to be more direct, You will also grow in your ability to be assertive. The more you practice being directed situations where the stakes are not high, you will build your confidence. If you are feeling unsure about the level of assertiveness you are using, ask a friend or family member if you can practice or techniques on them first. Being direct his kind. Communication often places you in situations where there is some type of dilemma. Effective communicators have to find a way to hear the story without damaging or alienating the other party. One mistake, it's a simply just soften your words or say nothing at all. Many believed that this helps to resolve the situation. However, it rather creates an environment of confusion. Those who use direct communication understand the many benefits. They see that by being direct, the lower the likelihood of misunderstandings and increase the quality of the relationship. We also understand that some discomfort and communication is inevitable, but it is better to have a truth that you seek solitude and comfort. Here are some ways you can still be kind yet direct. Number one, be thoughtful with your communication. Not Kurt. Number to think about the message before you deliver it. Number 3, facts and observations should be separate from each other. Number four, know your intention before you speak. Is there a plan behind your words? Number five, be clear with request. Do not assume that the other person can figure it out. Number 6, do not demand request. Use caution with your tone and signals. Number seven, never say yes when you are not positive. Failure to be clear or direct often leads to misunderstandings and breakdowns in communication. Many believe that by not being direct with others, they are suffering the message when in fact, more likely to confuse the other party. 6. Chapter 5 - Step 5: Be Confident: Chapter 5, step 5, be confident. Effective communication can solve many problems. It only makes sense to improve your skills as a communicator. One thing that many people do not realize is that confidence directly relates to the ability to communicate. Many people have had an experience where they have doubts or hesitation when communicating. It is normal one, growing your skills as a communicator that you might be fearful that what you have to contribute is not important. We're others would not be interested. Doubt and fear can be a big hindrance to your ability to communicate effectively. However, by increasing your self-confidence to speak out in a way that others can understand. You grow not only as a communicator, but as a person. When you have greater self-confidence around other people, you are more likely to be relaxed, flexible, humble, understanding, objective. The importance of being confident in your communication helps you to express your feelings and ideas better. It helps you to be convincing to the person listening to you. And it can grow your relationship as you become not just a speaker, but an empathetic listener, you will be able to hear better what others are expressing to you. When you lack confidence, you sound on credible and people will tune you out because they simply do not believe or care about what you are saying. Overcoming a lack of confidence, it is completely possible to improve your confidence level. And it begins with learning how to film ourselves in general, when you are authentic, you are true to the person you are. And this comes through and you're speaking and really many things you do. Those who feel unconfident often used the tactic of listening closely when someone else is speaking, not just listening, they give the other person speaking their full attention. This allows them to truly respond to the conversation with a selfless and honest answer. Often, people only listened to a third or half of what the other person is saying. This is because we are focusing on what we are going to say next, rather than giving up our full attention. Showing genuine interest in the subject will lie to be in the moment and answer more confidently. Another tactic that effective communicators use to boost confidence is they work to ask open questions. They are looking to grow the conversations. So closed questions where they can simply get a yes or no are not used. As a communicator, you should be looking for longer and fuller answers. This process will make the conversation often more interesting. Closed question. Did you like dinner? Open question. What did you think about dinner or what was your favorite part? Remember, open-ended questions often start with these. How, what, when, where, why. Understandably, you will not agree or get along with every person you will communicate with. The concept here is to accept that even opinions that differ from yours matter, but they do not have to determine what your opinions are. Sometimes you will have undesirable outcomes from communications. And the best thing in this situation is to accept whatever went wrong and move forward. Part of being confident is learning from your experiences and getting better. The more you practice, the more you will grow. Facing your fears head on, allows you to overcome them. When you practice confidence, you will grow and being confident as you are communicating with people, apply the skills you have learned and remember, you have value to offer. What to avoid when communicating with confidence? I have to say this again. The biggest way to show you are confident is by relaxing and being authentic. This will get you very far. Many situations where you need to be an effective communicator as you are communicating with different people, remember that they get dressed the same way you do every day. Avoid putting someone up on a pedestal. And this is a sure way to record confidence, showed the person respect and expect respect in return. Never believe that you are any less than another person. Just because they are on a different chapter in their life does not mean that you are less than. Here are a few things to avoid as a communicator. Looking at the floor, fidgeting, interrupting others speaking, ending sentences with a question over think. Here are a few things to do as a communicator. Be honest, show respect, stay calm, empathize, brief, be authentic. Professional benefits. You already know that communicating is important and confidence plays a huge role in the ability to communicate effectively. As you grow as a communicator, you will find that there are professional aspect of the skill that you will benefit from. Light. Making fewer mistakes, improved workplace atmosphere, improved the persuasion skills. Making fewer mistakes. It is likely that you have been in a situation where someone is trying to explain the situation or something to you and you just cannot seem to grasp what the are explaining. Even after you ask them to explain it a second or third time, you still cannot understand. So you ultimately tell yourself, I'll just figure it out by myself and then you end up making a big mistake. Or possibly you are afraid or too shy even to ask the person to explain it again. It happens and has happened to many people before you, regardless of which situation you experienced, the mistake most likely is due to fill communication between both parties. The person requesting the task did not clearly communicate the expectations in a way that you could comprehend. They may have been speaking from a perspective you have no experience with or thinking of someone who has completed a similar task before. This is quite often the problem we forget. Steps are details when we assume that someone has been doing the task multiple times before. It is common and for a person to take for granted that they know something and simply assume that the other person does because it is an easy task for them. This is the process of communicating only from their perspective without taking the other person's perspective into consideration or context. The second part of this is the fear of communicating. You do not understand. This often leads to mistakes. The biggest reason we do not ask for clarification, fear of how the other person will react, that they will be bored or annoyed by the question. Rather, it is always better to ask questions for clarification. You can do this simply by saying quote, okay, Let me be sure I understand and unquote. Then repeat the task and the way you understand it, it is always better to check back. Rather than make an assumption, if we do not understand it correctly, the other person would let you know. Assumption is very dangerous and can be costly thing to do when communicating. It can lead to mistakes. And although they may not have been the intent, they can cost your relationship, reputation, and company in ways that may be hard to recover from. It is always better to clarify and not worry about if you are bothering someone. This is the best way that effective communicators avoid making mistakes. Improved workplace atmosphere. Let's look at a hypothetical situation. It is Friday, Jan's birthday, and she brinks muffins to the office. Jan gives him Buffon to everyone in the office except you. Naturally, you're going to feel some kind of way. Why didn't she give you one? Is she mad at you? Does she not like you? All of these are natural ways that we start spinning off in situations when we are not included in a situation, especially if we felt to check in with a person. This can lead you to not wanting to work with them in the future worth ignoring the request as a result of muffin gate. However, had you spoken with Jan, you may have found out that as she was handing out the muffins, she remembered that you had an allergy to peanuts and they were banana nut muffins. She had been trying to protect you the whole time and you are spinning off into thinking she did not like you. And this situation, both of you were not communicating effectively. On the one hand, Jan should have apologize or let you know that there were not. So the office while on the other hand, if you had no reason to believe that Jan didn't like you, rather than jump to conclusions, you should've asked her what was up. Perspective is important when communicating. When we can see things from other perspectives, we can improve our communication and make our working environments more enjoyable. Think about this for a moment. What if a pilot and air traffic controller had a breakdown of communication, like in this scenario, that would be a really big problem. Improved persuasion skills, influencing the choices of others around you can help you achieve the things you desire. Persuasion is just another way for influencing them to make choices. It primarily is associated with marketing skills. However, it can be a very powerful tool in your communications toolbox. One thing that many great companies have in common is that they have something that others want. Yet that alone is not enough. You have to have a persuasive and good marketing team. You can have the best product in the world. But if you're not sharing it, no one will know or hear about IT. Technology has changed the way that we are seeing influencers and being persuaded. We now can communicate and innovative ways that can separate you from the masses. As an influencer, this is something you need to do as an individual. This is something you may have to do to land that dream job. You have to sell yourself and you have to get people to buy into you. They feel like they know, like and trust you. Then you're off to a great start. You should focus on your strengths and be transparent that you are working on your weaknesses. This will help you to become more receptive to those who are communicating with. No one wants to hear that everything is perfect. They want you to be humanized. They want to know that you too have struggles and that you find a way to rise above. 7. Chapter 6 - Step 6: Build Relationships: Chapter Six, Step 6, build relationships. There are many reasons that we communicate with others. Some of these situations will lead to long-term friendships, expanding your network, or even advancing your career. As you build relationships, you become more comfortable with the other person. Sometimes relationships happen naturally and you would just hit it off with the other person. In these instances, it is very natural occurrence and you must often build a great friendship with individual. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes you have to build a relationship. To build a relationship with someone new, begins with finding common ground and opening yourself up to being empathic. This will allow you to foster a connection with the other person at an emotional level. When you begin your connection, it can be something based on experiences or views, or even a shared sense of humor. Building relationships as part of all aspects of our life be at work or personal. These relationships often start as acquaintances and can lead to so much more why relationships are important? Personal relationships are often the easiest to make and grow into closer bonds. However, it is equally as important to build professional relationships. These often begin before you have even taken the position. Employers are more likely to hire someone who they feel they can get along with. The small talk at the very beginning of your interview could determine if you are, they're kind of person. Honestly, the whole reason small talk exists is to see if you have things in common with another person. Developing a bond with someone else is important because it is the basis of where the relationship will be going. If you are unable to develop a bond or a connection, you may be missing out on opportunities. Breaking the ice. Starting a conversation can be a scary thing. Finding just the right words or making sure that you are not awkward with your body language are all normal concerns. When you build a relationship at the beginning of the conversation with a new person, the outcome is often much more positive. When you feel stressed or nervous in any situation, that primary thing to do is calm down and relax. When you decrease your tension and allow communication to flow, it becomes much easier to build a relationship. Here are some tips for when you first meet someone new to reduce your attention and feel more relaxed in your communication. Stick to save topics, the weather, travel, and shared experiences. Avoid talking too much yourself and asking direct questions about the other person. Listen for shared experiences or situations. Use humor when and where appropriate. Read their body language and nonverbal signals. Also use caution with the signals you are sending. Be empathetic. When breaking the ice with someone new is important that the other person feels part of the conversation, not as if they are being interrogated. Most likely if you feel tense or nervous talking to someone Do they may be experiencing the same feeling. When you put that person at ease, the conversation becomes more natural. What is a good relationship? Many characteristics make up good or healthy relationship. While it is a great practice to work to build relationships with everyone we meet. There are simply some relationships that require more attention. And these relationships, it is important to focus on open communication and the development of a bond. Let's look at some characteristics that make up a healthy or good relationship. Trust relationships are much like building a skyscraper. The have to have a strong foundation. Those foundations that are built on mutual trust create a strong and powerful bond in the working environment and allows you to communicate more effectively. When you have trust with those, you work with you to eliminate so many feelings of nervousness and fear. It allows you to be more open and honest with your feedback because you know that the other parties are there for support, mutual respect. In any relationship where you have mutual respect, you valued the input and ideas of others. In turn. They also value your input and ideas. This allows you to work more as a collective and can actually enhanced the group's intelligence, insight, and creativity. Mindfulness. Those who are mindful of their relationships take responsibility for the actions and words they use. They are cautious and careful about what they say. They work to not interject any negative emotions or feelings onto others around them. This is not to say that they do not communicate negative issues, but they work to present them in a positive light and offer suggestions for solutions. Accepting of diversity. Those who can build the strongest relationships are accepting of diverse opinions and people. They welcome them. Just because someone has an opinion that is not the same as yours, does not mean that your opinion or feeling is less valuable. Those communications who accept diversity allow themselves to consider what the other person's perspective is. The are able to put themselves in the other person's shoes. This does not mean that they have to agree or changed their opinion. It just simply means they are able to see various perspectives open to communication. Every day we communicate. Sometimes it seems as if all we do is communicate. If we are sending emails, direct messages, meeting, face to face, liking, post, all these things are communication. The more effective you are with your communication with others, the stronger your relationship will be. The key to open communication is honesty. This will build your relationship with the other person and increase your credibility with others. What it takes to build good work relationships. Building good relationships at work specifically is a great way to help ensure you communicate effectively. People skills. Part of building good working relationships begins with developing your people skills. Think for a moment about how well you communicate, collaborate, a handle, conflict. These are your soft skills. The other characteristics that enhance your ability to build relationships. Soft skills also include etiquette, listening, and emotional intelligence. This also includes the ability to identify what a relationship needs. When you have the ability to look at a relationship constructively, you may find that one person needs more praise and another needs less. Knowing what each person needs from their relationship helps you to adjust your communication style and strengthen the relationship. Time. In order to improve your communication, you need to practice. Daily practice is a great way also to build your ability to make relationships. Each day. It is a good idea to set aside 20 minutes if you need to break that 20 minutes up into segments of five minutes each. These should be quick impromptu style conversations. Stop by a colleague's office at lunch or respond to someone's post on LinkedIn or social media, or even asked someone to grab a cup of coffee. Through these interactions, you grow your foundations of relationships, especially when you do it face-to-face, emotional intelligence. Another area that requires your attention and development is that of your emotional intelligence. This is your ability to manage and understand your own emotions in a positive manner that empathizes with others, relieve stress, overcomes challenges, and can defuse conflict. There are four main attributes that define your emotional intelligence. Number one, self-management, the ability to control your impulses healthfully and manage emotions and adapt to the circumstances. Number 2, self-awareness. Understand your own emotions and how they affect your behavior and thoughts. Also are aware of weaknesses and strengths and use these to build your self confidence. Number three, social awareness. You have empathy. You understand the emotional concerns and needs of those around you. The ability to pick up on social cues and recognize the group dynamics of power. Number 4, relationship management. You understand the power and developing and maintaining clear communication and through developing relationships so that you can inspire and influence others. Appreciation. The ability to appreciate others is an important part of building relationships. When someone helps you with a task, it is important to appreciate them more. So it is important to provide appreciation to all of those you come in contact with to generally compliment people. This can open many doors for your life and career. Be positive, positively focusing on things you have a greater Tennessee to attract positivity back to you. Many believed that being positive is actually contagious, that it spills over from one person to the next. People genuinely want to be around someone who exudes positivity. Know your boundaries, being clear with your boundaries and manage them properly is very important. You may have individuals who are friends with at work. This is great. However, you must use caution as occasionally, that friendship can impact your job performance. This can especially be true should the friend or colleague start to monopolize your time when this occurs, it is important to be assertive about your boundaries. You are the one that is in control or the time you have each day to devote to social interactions and accomplish the task you need to do not gossip. Office politics and gossip are a quick way to kill a relationship. If you have a conflict with another person, the best thing to do is go directly to them about the issue. Gossiping about the situation will only escalate the situation and can cause animosity and loss of trust. The best practice here is when there was a conflict, go to the source and work to resolve it. Dealing with difficult relationships. No matter how great of a communicator, a relationship builder you are, there are going to be instances where you have to work with someone you do not like or cannot relate to. This is when you have to employ all the skills you have learned to maintain a professional relationship. In these situations, it is best to get to know the person first. Often the other person knows that the two of you are not on the best terms. So as a leader and effective communicator, it is best to make the first move to improve the relationship. You can do this by engaging in a conversation or inviting them out for lunch. It is important that while you are speaking with this person, that you are not too guarded, focus on things that are beyond the conflict, maybe their background, past successes or interest, rather than putting energy in differences, try to find things that you may have a comment and build a middle ground. Also, remember that not every relationship will be great. However, you're armed with the tools to make them workable. 8. Chapter 7 - Step 7: Use the PIP Approach: Chapter Seven, Step 7, use the PIP approach. Communication is about engaging the other person. Sometimes this process of engagement can be difficult when you meet someone new who are communicating to our large group. The first words the other party should here are your name and who you are. You are building a foundation and setting up your credibility. The very next thing you should do is make some type of acknowledgment. As you grow in your ability to communicate, you will find that the purpose and portents and preview PIP approach can be very helpful for effective communication. Purpose. Why? Importance to the immediate person? Preview? What's to come? This goes back to our focus on being direct with communication. If people want to know the purpose, why it is important, and where things are going. This helps you not to be long winded and your explanations and get yourself right on track. Think of it as your elevator pitch. Your pips should be as transparent as possible. So if you're giving a presentation, your PIP might look like this. The purpose we are here is x. X is important because here is a quick preview of what I plan to cover. As you grow your skills and using this process, you will find that applies to nearly every situation, especially when dealing with conflict or mediating a situation between employees. By using this approach, especially as a presenter, you are more likely to have your audience understand and engage with the presentation. As you grow your skills as an effective communicator, it is highly likely that you may be asked to present for your office at a conference or even pitch an idea. When you use this method for any of these, you are getting those you are presenting to. You are helping them see the pathway and they know what to expect. This can lower your nervousness and help you to be able to land a deal you are seeking. You are here to guide your conversations and help keep the conversation moving to the next point. Through practicing the PIP method, you can do justice. Another thing to remember when practicing this method is to avoid words and phrases that are confusing like respectively or the ladder. The former. These require the other party to remember specific details. It's sometimes it's better just to restate the detail. Remember, you want to be clear and direct with communication also, when you end a conversation, especially when we are giving a call to actions or direction, you'd need to recap the main points. Your expectations need to be reinforced so that the other party is aware of what is important. This also helps you to create a closure, a sense of finality to the conversation. Quote, Most people that derail as leaders in the corporate world, it's not because they couldn't do the math and calculate return on investment property. The issues are communicating and understanding all of what typically would have been called the soft stuff. You have to be authentic, you have to be dialed into the soft stuff. And to quote Douglas coconut. 9. Conclusion - How to Communicate Effectively: Conclusion, effectively communicating your wishes, thoughts, and opinions as part of your everyday life. It has been since the beginning of time when humans were living in caves. If a k person was not able to communicate that they were injured, they might be required to go out to the hut. And then in turn, they may end up being the one hunted. If they were injured, they would not be able to escape what the at May 1 have considered their prey. In modern times, we still need to communicate effectively. Chances are we may not physically become animals prey. However, there are many more ways to communicate and it is essential that we up our communication game to continue to grow. Technology has opened the world of virtual communication. And now we have the ability to communicate in an instant, a regular basis with people all over the world. Those working for large corporations often do this on a daily basis. There are many people who have made their careers of simply communicating. Motivational speakers, writers, talk show host, or just a few that have mastered the skill of communicating, that they are able to make it a primary job. You have recognize that you need it to grow and your ability to be a communicator. Knowing that you need it to grow, which are very first step in growth. You now have the tools to present yourself in the best light and understand that empathy is part of being an effective communicator. Effectively communicating. More than just what you say. It is also how you act at that tone to use non-verbal signals, including your body movements, facial expressions can tell you more about the person you are communicating with than the actual words being used. Think about your parents and whether it would nag you about grades. You're rolling your eyes or crossing your arms, sent a clear message that you are not interested, nor do you believe what the are going on about. When you communicate. Your body language needs to sink with a message you are sharing. Furthermore, you need to consider any previous conversations that you may have had with a person. If you have built a relationship that is highly sarcastic, no matter how serious you are, they may simply just nod their head rather than saying what they want. You are now equipped with the information you need to navigate these situations. The ability to communicate effectively is an amazing skill. We know that we communicate through words, drawings, eyes, and yet we often tend to repeat the same behavior. When a wife is upset with her husband, she might yell at him and he may withdraw from the conversation, even though they both see that this pattern is not getting them anywhere. This is where your skills as an effective communicator come in. You are now equipped to change the script to make life easier and more fulfilled. You have a vast array of tools ready to use. And today is the day you start making changes to improve your communication. Think of someone you know, you need to improve your communication with, reached out to that person as scheduling coffee or lunch. Use your new found skills to listen actively and engage the other person. You are the person that determines the success of variability to be a communicator. If you feel that you are not ready to reach out to that person, take to social media, find a post on LinkedIn that you identify with and comment on. Start a conversation in a group. And there are a million ways in which you take this journey at all begins with you making a choice to start and be better today than you were yesterday. Quote, communication as power. Those who have mastered its effectiveness can change their own experience of the world and the world experiences of them. All behavior and feelings find their original roots and some form of communication. And a quote, Tony Robins, going forward, always learned to form your challenges. Embraced the things that are hard and find a way to show yourself and others that you are capable of. As an effective communicator, you are about to open a new world of opportunities and relationships. When you foster and grow these relationships that can lead to things you may have never thought possible. Ally yourself. The grace to accept the possibility is out there. And you will make mistakes. But that you can learn to form these mistakes and become a better person.