How to Ask Powerful Questions in Sales and Business Development | Patrick Dang | Skillshare

How to Ask Powerful Questions in Sales and Business Development

Patrick Dang, International Sales Trainer

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8 Lessons (45m)
    • 1. How to Ask Powerful Questions in Sales and Business Development Final

      1:20
    • 2. Mastering Time

      6:59
    • 3. How to Uncover Pain

      8:44
    • 4. Active Listening

      5:11
    • 5. Earning the Right to Ask a Question

      9:15
    • 6. Answering a Question with a Question

      9:29
    • 7. Softening Statements

      3:51
    • 8. Next Steps

      0:22

About This Class

In this course, you'll be learning how to ask powerful questions that allow you to learn more about another person on a deep level.

We'll be covering the psychology of what motivates people, how to build rapport, what questions to ask, and how to be an active listener.

By the end of the course, you'll master all the skills needed to ask powerful questions.

Transcripts

1. How to Ask Powerful Questions in Sales and Business Development Final: everybody, What's going on? It's Patrick staying here now, In this course, what you're gonna learn to do is how toe ask powerful questions to uncover people's emotions. This is gonna be particulary this is going to be particulary Lee, useful for anybody who does any type of sales or business development or anybody who just wants to become a stronger communicator. Because it's not about how great you are at talking. It's all about how good your questions are. So within the entire course, you're gonna learn how to ask these powerful questions how to become a better listener. So people actually give you a proper answer, and I'm also going to show you some powerful techniques, like answering a question with questions or even softening statements that allow you to ask more difficult and challenging questions that might actually hurt someone's emotions. But by answering them in a specific way, you're gonna be able to ask these powerful questions in almost any type of situation within their class project. What I want you to do is take all the information that you're gonna learn in this course and craft three powerful questions that you would either like to use in your business or your personal life. So with that said, if you would like to become a master, when it comes to asking powerful questions, whether it's for professional reasons or for personal reason, I look forward to seeing you inside. 2. Mastering Time: everybody of what is going on. So in this section we're gonna talk all about figuring out what motivates people, because when you understand what motivates people, you're gonna be able to press the right buttons to pull the right levers become more persuasive and influential in your every day life. Now, the first question that I want to start with you guys is that why do people do what they do ? For example, why do people, especially girls by makeup, why do people buy a certain car, or why do people hang out around a certain crowd? So if you understand the why, behind all of this, you can pull the invisible strings of influence. Because when you understand why people do things emotionally, you're gonna have that empathy and understanding for who they are as a person and what they want. And when you understand these things, you can use your communication skills to persuade or influence them emotionally. Now here is the basis of how the global economy runs, and when you really boil it down and really think about what people want, people want to become a better version of themselves on the left side, we have this person over here and this is going to represent all people in the world, and that is essentially who we are. The definition of that is basically just who we are in the present moment, and everybody has a version of who they are right now. And then they have this next level version of themselves of who they want to be now. For the most part, most human beings have this where they want to evolve. As a person, we naturally want to progress and grow as human beings. So when you understand who people are and who they want to be, this is how you are going to master the skills of influence. So some examples of who we are and who we want to be when it comes to everyday life is that some people are a slave to their 9 to 5 job there at a job just to make money and pay their bills and the absolutely hated. Ideally, they would want to be in a situation where they are financially free and making money on their own terms, doing what they love for living. So obviously everybody who is a slave to their 9 to 5 job and hates it would want to be in the other end, where they are financially free. Another example of this is anybody who is unhealthy and overweight and not satisfied what their overall health. And that's a current stay of who they are, who they want to be is. Obviously they want to be fit, They want to be healthy, and they want to live a great life. And so this is why the fitness industry has been blowing up is because there are so many people all around the world who are unhealthy and overweight, and they want to make a change in their lives to who they want to be, which is someone who is fit and healthy. The last example. I'm a show. You is people who are shy and awkward similar to myself. When I was younger, I had didn't have the communication skills to communicate who I was on the inside, and I just came off as very awkward. Who I wanted to be is someone who was confident and bowed and someone who lived life on their own terms and so she can see here for the most part, most human beings have this version of who they are, which is who they are in their current stay of time and who they aspire to be. Now here is a challenge most people face. We all have this version of who we are, and we all have this version of who we want to be. However, there are always going to be problems and challenges and obstacles that prevent us from becoming who we want to be and a lot of times thes problems. Maybe so big that people will make excuses for why they can't become that better version of themselves. For example, they may have their 9 to 5 job, and they may say, I can't quit my 9 to 5 because I won't have any money to pay my bills and they'll never saw their own business or people who are unhealthy and overweight. They might say something like Tried everything and nothing works for me and they'll never become healthy Or some other people who may say they're shy and awkward. They may say I'm shy and awkward, and it's just not me to be both, even though they want it on the inside and they just make these excuses. So no matter who you're dealing with, everybody has challenger obstacles that they're facing that prevent them from who they want to be. So this is where you come in, how you want to position yourself as a influential character or a persuasive person is. You want to think of yourself as the vehicle to get someone from who they are to who they want to be. Literally. You're coming up to them. You're saying, Hey, jump in my car and you're you writing to the other side and you're getting them to exactly who they want to be. So if someone is a slave to their 9 to 5 job, one thing that I personally do is I teach people how to start their own coaching and consulting businesses, and I give them that step by step guide on exactly how they can do it and how they can obtain financial freedom. And so my course, teaching them how to do exactly that will get them to where they want to be similar to how fitness coaches or fitness consultants or diet consultants will help people who are unhealthy and overweight get to becoming healthy and fit, and they're also going to be a different type of life coaches that will help people who are shy and awkward and help them become the person they want to be on the inside and help them become that bold, confident person. So business does run like this where you have to understand what people's problems are, which is who they are. Their current self understand what they're obstacles are, is that are blocking them from who they want to be, and then you want to be that vehicle that gets them to where they want to be. And so if you position yourself as that vehicle, obviously people are always going to listen to whatever is you have to say, because you're bringing so much value and helping them become their higher versions off themselves. And like I was saying, everybody wants to become a better version of themselves. But they have these problems that are always stopping them, and a lot of times they're gonna make excuses, and these problems would just stop them dead in their tracks. And problems obviously will cause major pain. So to become more persuasive, your goal is to understand a person's pain and then you are going to be that solution to their problem. It's as simple as that and to understand another person's problems. You have to have that emotional empathy, and you have to understand what exactly people are feeling. And you're going to position yourself as that doctor who is going to get rid of the pain. And like we said before, people make their decisions emotionally and they're going to justify that decision logically. So when we appeal to people's emotions, one of the best ways to do it is to target people's pains because pain is one of the strongest motivators in the human mind. And so if you understand where people are, where they want to be, what problems and pains that they have that are preventing them from getting them to their higher version of themselves. You want to position yourself as that vehicle to get rid of that pain, and if you get rid of that pain, people are going to love you for that. So that is exactly how you can't directly target people's emotions and use their emotions to become more persuasive and influential in your everyday life. 3. How to Uncover Pain: everybody, What's going on? Welcome to the section where we are going to show you how to uncover pain. And this section is going to be that bist up guy on exactly how you can do this now to recap some of the things that we learned so far, we already went through the concept where we now understand what motivates people. Everybody has a version of themselves of who they are, and everybody also has a version of themselves of who they want to be. So our job is to identify what problems and challenges people have from getting from who they are to who they want to be, and we are going to be that vehicle that takes them to exactly where they want to be. Now that we finish the recap, Something I want to share with you is that there are many different types of pain. The 1st 1 we're going to talk about is called a realized pain, and this is when some people already know what their problems are. Another type of pain is called of late and pain, and that is when people don't know that they even have a problem. And so this is going to be a lot more difficult to persuade someone because they do not even know they have a problem. So typically, the first step when it comes to motivating people were pain is to make them realize that they actually have a problem Now. In some instances, people who you're going to talk to already know they have a pain, and persuading them is going to be a lot more easier because both sides are aware of what that pain is. However, if they do not know they have a pain, you have to first make them realize it before you can actually do any type of persuasion. So essentially what you're doing is that you're getting a late and pain, which is a pain that people don't realize that they have. And then you're transforming that into a realized pain and you're making them aware that they actually have a pain again. People are motivated by their pains, and if you can make the pain go away, you're gonna position yourself to be someone ah, lot more persuasive. Now here's the next level. Once you get only in pain and you turn it into a realized pain, making sure the other person realizes that they have that specific pain. Then you want to dive deeper and make that realize pain into an extreme pain. And this is when the pain actually hurts, and it hurts so much that they're willing to do anything to make it go away. And that is how you position yourself to motivate others, using the emotional pain essentially, what you want to do. You want to think of yourself as a doctor, meaning you're taking a late in pain, turning it into a realize pain than turning it into an extreme pain. And once I pain hurts so much emotionally for that specific individual, you're gonna position yourself as that doctor to make the pain go away. And what's really interesting is that whatever your solution is to make that pain go away. That's the solution that you can position to sell or pitch, whether it's a product service or idea. And if your product service or idea is positioned well to make their pain go away, they are going to take action and by or do whatever it is that you want them to do. So now that you understand high level on how to understand the different levels of pain. Where exactly are you supposed to start? I want to share with you that the most persuasive people are not the ones who are the smoothest talkers or the ones that have the loudest voice is the most persuasive. People are actually going to be the best listeners. And the people who have the highest level of empathy and empathy again means understanding somebody emotionally because people make their decisions emotionally and they're going to justify them a logically and how you want to become a better listener and have more empathy towards others as you want to learn how to ask good questions. So how we're going to do that is bring Inish introduce you toothy pain pyramid. Essentially, this is a way for you to ask powerful pain questions from beginning to end, meaning if you look on the left side over here, there's gonna be three different levels of questions. The 1st 1 is going to be the surface level questions. The second level is your business or family questions, and finally, the third is going to be the personal questions, and that is when you're going to hook somebody emotionally and get them to care. And so as you can see the surface level, questions are going to be easier. Questions that ask what they're more logical and they're just very basic surface level. However, once you dive deeper into the business or family questions, or even to the personal level thes air, going to be the harder questions, much more emotional. And they're going to get to the root of why people do what they do. So your goal, when you're asking different type of questions as you want to start off with the surface level, questions dive a little deeper into the business of family, and then once you have a couple more questions, you're going to get into the personal questions, and this is where you're going to get all of the emotion. So again, your goal is to get as fast as possible from surface to personal level questions, and the best way to uncovered pain is to ask questions once again. And so we're gonna cover the surface level questions first, so some examples of surface level questions can be Can you be a little more specific? What exactly do you mean by that? Can you give me an example? How long has it been a challenge? Have you tried anything to fix this So again, these air surface level questions I anybody can ask in the beginning of a conversation. They're not too pushy, not too edgy. These are very safe questions to get the other person talking. Next you dive into the middle section, which are the business or family pain questions why it's labeled business or family paintings. Because if you're in a business situation, you want to now talk about their business problems. But if you're talking to a friend or something like that, or someone who's in a relationship, then it goes into family. So that's why categorize them to either business or family. Some examples of that would be Why do you think that didn't work? Has anyone tried to do something about this? If you were to take a guess, how much is this costing you? Are you committed to fixing this? If you do nothing, what happens? So as you can see these air going to be a little more deeper where they're asking why and they're getting specifically into pains so For example, if you ask someone, why do you think that didn't work? And then someone might say, Well, we didn't work because this guy's done. This guy's not listening to me And the people will naturally want to talk about their problems again. You're persuading people by getting them to talk about their emotional pains. Now, once you get through the business and family pains were then going to dive into the personal pains. And so some examples of that are How does it make you feel? How does this directly affect you? Are you ready to give up? How do you think I might be able to help you? Sounds like a major issue. Why hasn't anyone taking care of us? And so, as you can see here, these air going to be a much more personal questions. For example, if you're talking to someone in the business setting and you ask them, how does that make you feel? Ah, lot of times people will say it makes me angry and makes me frustrated. I absolutely hate this problem. And so, as you can see here by talking about thes pain questions and getting into their personal emotional pain. They're going to give you their emotions on how they feel about that specific scenario. And if you do this right, people are going to talk about all of their problems. And how you want to think of it is that everybody has a story to tell. But typically no one is willing to listen. So you are going to position yourself as that person who is going to listen to all their problems. And once he tell you all their problems, are gonna trust you a whole lot more, and by understanding what they want emotionally, you're then going to position yourself as a solution to whatever problems they tell you. So again, the pain pyramid question starts from the surface level than the business or family questions and finally to the personal questions. And then you want to get as fast as possible to the personal questions and connect with this person emotionally, and it typically takes about three questions before the person actually talks about there. Personal pain. So once you feel any type of post of that pain, especially if it's personal pain, that's when you want to dive deep and constantly keep asking these questions that dive into emotionally why they care about something so much and how much pain it puts them in. So again, you can be the one to make the pain go away. So at this point in the conversation, you're not talking about yourself. Your why someone should do anything. What you're simply doing is your guiding the conversation with pain questions, listening to their answers and then building report with the other person by showing that you're listening and you haven't even said anything about yourself quite yet, because the reason why you don't want to do that is because you want to listen to exactly what people's problems are. So then, whatever you say later on directly appeals through these problems. So a rule of thumb is you want to spend 80% of conversations listening and 20% of them actually saying things. But you want to make sure that that 20% is extremely targeted to a person's emotional pain . So with that said, that's everything that we have to cover so far when it comes to using the's pain questions to draw out people's emotions, 4. Active Listening: everybody of what is going on. So in the section, brigand teach you all about active listening. Now it's not enough just to listen to somebody. You have to make them feel like you're listening and let me show you exactly what I mean. So let's say we're having a conversation and you're telling me this crazy story about something amazing that happen to you and I just give you this face that is just completely blink like this. I don't even show any type of emotion when you get into the exciting part. I don't even do anything. I just look at you straight in the eye like this. And then that happens. What you're going to feel like you're not listening and it's not gonna feel comfortable for you, and you're gonna feel awkward. Obviously, What we want to do is we want to make sure that when you uncover a person's pain and you're asking all these pain questions that you know how you can actively listen to them and make the other person feel like they are being heard, because when they feel like being heard, there gonna be a lot more trusting with you and they're gonna be willing to give you so much more information on the problems that they have and the MAWR information they give you on the problems that they have. The easier is for you to be the solution to their problem and become more persuasive. So here are going to be four different techniques that we are going to show you for active listening. Now the 1st 1 that we're going to dive into is telling others you understand. So when someone is talking to you, sometimes you could say these little cues, the little statements that just makes the other person feel like you're listening. So if you're saying something to me like Oh my God, this thing happened in blah, blah, blah and I could say something like Ha, that makes sense. That's pretty typical. I understand what you mean. So by saying thes things, you just acknowledging that you're listening. The second technique that we're going to go over is parody. Parroting is very simple. Where all you're doing is you're repeating the other person's words, exactly. And if somebody says this was really crazy, how it happened, then you're going to say, Wow, that's really crazy how that happened. So you're literally just repeating and using the same vocabulary as the other person. Now, this works really well because people gravitate to others who are very similar to themselves. And by parroting where you're doing is you're using the same words that the other person just used. And subconsciously, you're making the other person feel like, Wow, this guy is just like me. So parroting again, you're just simply using the words another person is using. Now another technique is rephrasing we're phasing as you're basically just some. Whenever someone tells you something or they tell you a problem, what you want to do is you want to rephrase that problem and just repeat it back to them. So if somebody says that, Hey, I have this HR system, but it's really outdated and it doesn't really work properly, and it's just a waste of time. If I am a sales person, I might end the conversation. I may say something like this. Seems like you have a really big problem where you have this HR system that's really outdated, and you're using a lot of time that is just wasted. So if by rephrasing what another person says it just acknowledge that you just listen to them and you heard what they're saying. And by rephrasing it, they're gonna think, Wow, this guy actually listens. He knows exactly what my problem is and that essentially, is going to build trust the next technique that we have as emotional feedback. That is, when you capture another person's emotion in your head as you listen, you just want to remember it. And so when it's your turn to speak after they finish telling you whatever they're telling you, you want to feed their emotions back to them. So if someone's very frustrated with something, what you want to do is you want to capture that emotion. Remember it in your head. When it's your turn to speak, you could say something like, Sounds like you're really frustrated with X y Z or sounds like that's really exciting, for you are so whatever it is, you just want to make sure you are repeating that person's emotions, verbally showing them that you understand emotionally how they feel. So as you listen to somebody and you ask your pain questions, you can use all these different techniques to show the other person and make them feel like you're listening. So telling them that you understand parroting, using the words that they're saying rephrasing what they're saying, you're repeating it back to them and capturing their emotions and using emotional few back to let them know that you understand how they feel. And so, with all these different techniques, you're not only showing you're listening to somebody, but you're also showing that you emotionally understand them and you're showing you have empathy. And when you combine this with the power of pain questions, people are just going to be willing to just trust you. And they're gonna constantly keep giving you information because you are going to be that great listener. And the truth is that most people in the world are not good listeners. Everybody loves to talk about themselves, but they never want to list him. So why listening is going to be extremely critical and becoming on persuasive? It's because it's so different and it's so uncommon that by doing it it's very refreshing for another person to experience. And if you use these techniques, people are just going to feel that you're listening to them so well and they're just going to trust you so much more. Then when it comes time for you to speak and picture a product or service our idea, they are going to listen to you so much more so again, these air going to be the four techniques that you can use to actively listen to somebody telling others you understand parroting, rephrasing and emotional feedback. 5. Earning the Right to Ask a Question: everybody, what is going on? So in this section, we are going to show you how to earn the right toe. Ask a question on why this is gonna be extremely critical is because most people they ask questions without earning that right to ask a question. And so to explain exactly what I mean, Let me go ahead and give you some examples. So what if someone comes up to randomly, just out of the blue and they say, Hey, can you do me a favor? And you're thinking to yourself, Well, what is that favor? Why do I want to even do you this favor? Or if somebody asks you, how much money do you make? Why would you want to tell them how much money you make? That's none of their business? Or if you're in a relationship and whether your girlfriend or boyfriend says is and they say, Hey, can I move in with you and you're thinking to yourself, I don't know. It's a little too early and viable of a lot, So as you can see here, sometimes we get into situations where we want to ask a question. However, how we ask it is very important to actually get an answer. And this is why earning the right to ask a question is going to be extremely critical. Now again, if you do not earn the right to ask a question, When you ask these kind of questions like, Can I move in with you? How much money do you make and things like that? People are gonna automatically think of their heads. Why should I answer you? Where is this coming from? I don't want to answer you right now. So again, why you want to earn the right to ask a question is to avoid these situations and put the other person in a position where they are much more likely to answer you so that you can actually get a straight answer from them. And that's going to improve your communication skills and help you become more persuasive in whatever it is that you want to do. So to do this, we're gonna show you how to earn the right to ask a question using the D. I Q formula. So what exactly the d Iike formula is essentially a way to ask a question and so d I Q is going to be an abbreviation, and it's gonna be for data insight in question. Now the deep part of it, which is data, is going to be a statistic or observation that you are just saying the insight is basically your explanation or your opinion or analysis of that data. And finally, the question, which is the question that you're gonna use your basically asking a question based on the data and insight that you just convey to the other person that you're talking about. So now that you understand the basics of exactly what the D I formula is, we're going to dive into some examples, so you get a better understanding of exactly how you can use it in your every day life. Let's go ahead and give you an example. So this is example Number one, and it's going to be a business example, and I'm going to assume that I'm a sales person and I'm trying to sell some recruiting software to another company. And if I were to ask him a question like asking them how they handle their recruiting right now, if I just ask you straight up like that, some people may answer some people, maybe a little hesitant because they don't want to give up so much information. But using the d Iike formula, we're gonna position in a way where the other person is gonna feel very comfortable in answering your question, because I'm going to show you how exactly you can earn the right to ask a question like that. So let's go ahead and get started Data. Now, most hospitals are a little slow to update their software when it comes to recruiting. Now we're going to go into insight. Sometimes even though they have hundreds or even thousands of applications per month, they're still doing them manually. And now we're going to go into the question. I was curious to know how your team was handling recruiting right now, so if you put it all together, it's gonna sound like this. Now most hospitals are a little slow to update their software when it comes to recruiting. Sometimes, even though they have hundreds or even thousands of applications per month, they still do it manually. And so I was curious to know how your team was handling recruiting right now. So when you're asking it like this with the data inside and question, it's just gonna make so much sense of them, and especially if they're in a position where they're actually doing hundreds or even thousands of applications per month manually, it's going to be easy for them to say, Yeah, you know, we're also doing it manually to or they might be saying, Oh, you know, we actually have a softer for that and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But see the differences if I just ask somebody straight up. Hey, what recruiting software using right now, they may not want to answer, and it's not very comfortable because they don't know who you are. Why would they want to give up so much information? But if you uses data inside question, you just position yourself as somebody who's actually curious. And you're coming in with a lot of value because it just makes sense to why they would answer, because by answering your question, you're providing value in that you might be able to help solve whatever problem that they have. So that's just a business example, a sales example of how you can use the data inside question, and you could use this throughout the entire conversation when you're trying to pry for information Now, I'm gonna give you a personal example for say, you want to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend. How do you exactly say that? So if you just say, Hey, do you want to move in with me? They might be like, No, I don't want to move in a few. Or maybe they might say Yes, but if you position it this way, it's gonna be a lot more easier for you to have an open dialogue and better communication. So let's go ahead and dive in. I'm going to read this to you straight. So you have a better feeling of exactly how this goes down. So let's go ahead and begin. We've been dating for almost half a year now. So far, it's been amazing. And I love spending time with you. And from what I can tell, you enjoy spending time with me, too. Now, this might be a little early, but what do you think about moving in together in this example? What's going on is that you're putting in the data, which is we're been dating for 1/2 year now, and the insight is that based on that half a year of dating, everything's been good. I've been loving it. You've been loving it. And so now you've earned the right to ask the question, and this is a really big questions for most couples, and that is, Hey, I'd be a little early, but do you think we should move in together? So in this example, you know, you could clear to see it by positioning yourself in having that data inside in question, you're gonna be able to ask so much more tougher questions. And because you have this data and inside, it's gonna make it so much easier because you're earning the right to ask a question. And so you just want to remember that whenever you're out and about in your business war, whether it's your regular everyday life, you want to think about it when, before you ever ask a serious question or a tough question that you may be faced with rejection, you want to use the data inside question so that it opens a dialogue, makes it more comfortable for the other person, also makes it more comfortable for you and your earning the right to ask the question, and that's going to be the key difference between you and every other person that asked these blunt questions. So let's go ahead and dive into another example, and we're gonna assume that someone is angry at you for not paying them back money that you borrowed from them. Let's go ahead and use three D formula once again and again. You know, this formula is applicable in almost any situation, whether it's business or life. So let's go ahead and dive in to give you context for the situation. Let's say somebody's angry at me because I borrowed money from them. I didn't pay them back, but I need a couple more days before can actually give them the money. I understand where you're coming from, and I get the feeling that you're upset about me being late on paying you back, and now we're gonna go into the insight like you just said. We agreed that I would pay you back two weeks from when I borrowed the money from you, and I also feel bad that it's been over three weeks now. I know you want your money back as soon as possible and I want to give it back to you as soon as possible to, But I'm a little bit in the jam because of X y Z. Is it okay if I pay you back within the next three days? So as you can see from this example, the data is that I'm just factually saying this person is upset with me and that they want their money back and I want to pay them back. And the insight from that is basically what I'm doing is I'm summarizing whatever that person said and then the analysis of it is that obviously they're angry and I feel bad about it, and we just both want to make the situation better. Now, the question that I want to propose is that of course, I want to give this person his money back. But then I might be in the jam where I don't have the money right now because of X y z so that then I make the ass I need through more days before I can pay the person back. So you position it this way. You're empathizing with the other person. You know exactly what their pains are You're making it clear that you want to solve their pain in that you want to pay them back as well. But you're also making it clear that you need a couple more days before you can actually pay them back. Now, if you just said that, you just need more time like another three days, another person might get mad at you because they said, Why do you need three days? Because I already gave you an extra week and that can lead to a whole another communication conflict. Now, because you're using this data inside question, you're not only empathizing with the other person, you're also recognizing how they feel and you're letting them know how you feel. And you're giving them a clear explanation on why you need three more days to actually pay them back. And so when you position it like this, the other person is highly likely to be like, OK, go ahead and take three days, and then I really expect my money within the next three days. And then that is that. So you can just make it very clear on exactly what the situation is. Build that empathy and then the other person is gonna be a lot more likely to go with whatever you say, because you're making it so logical for them to understand. But you're also empathizing with their emotion. And like I mentioned throughout the entire course, people make their decisions emotionally and justify logically. So in this example, we're not only hitting their emotions with that empathy. We're also going in with that logic by giving them that that clear explanation on why you need more time to pay them back. And so what? That said, That's going to conclude how exactly you're gonna use C D Iike formula in any type of situations, whether rich you owing someone money or whether it's you or your loved ones, or whether it's a business scenario. And the key thing to remember is that before you ask any type of difficult questions or before you ask any type of favors, you need to earn the right to ask the question. And one of the simplest ways to do it is using the D. I Q formula 6. Answering a Question with a Question: everybody, What is going on? So in this section, we're going to show you one of the most powerful persuasion techniques that I know. And this is gonna be an extreme tactics of how to actually navigate through difficult conversations. And that is how toe answer questions using questions. Now the most challenge that people have is that we're just naturally wired to think that when somebody asks us a question, the natural thing to do is answer it right. If somebody says something like, How old are you? You want to say your age or what's your budget? You want to give them your budget or any type of scenario, and a lot of times that can actually backfire on you because sometimes you don't need to give up any information because the more information somebody has on you, the more leverage that they have on you. And so what we're gonna do is we're going to reverse the situation because in any type of persuasion conversation, whether it's a sales negotiation or just having a conversation on your everyday life, whoever has the most information on the other person is going to have the most leverage. And so what you want to do when somebody asks you a question rather than giving up the leverage and giving them more information, what you want to do is reverse it, and then you want to answer their question with a question which will give you more control over the conversation and get them in the position where they're giving you information. So let's give you an example of how this actually works. So let's say you're trying to sell something, and the potential customers says, How much is it? And you say it's only $5000 then the potential customer might say something like, That's way too expensive. By Evan, you say, Wait, we could work something out and blah, blah, blah, blah. But by the time you tried to save that deal, it's already dead because $5000 was a complete turn off for whatever budget that they had. And so in this example, a potential customer asked me how much my product was, and I told them it was only $5000. So the natural thing most people do is when somebody asked you how much it is. You want to just tell them straight up. No, it's a $5000. However, if you want to maintain control throughout an entire conversation, you want to answer that question off another question. When this person said, How much is it? I could have said something like, Well, do you have a budget that we can work with? And then he would give me his budget. And then, instead of quoting this person $5000 maybe I could make some adjustments to whatever product or service. I'm showing this person so that it fits whatever it is that he's looking for. If you just naturally just answer questions, you put yourself in the position where you might lose a deal or you might. It might hurt yourself in a conversation because you don't always want. Just give up that information. You want to understand the rule of why people ask your questions so you can answer them accordingly. So that's why I to get to the root of why people ask your questions and to really understand the core of it, you've got to reverse it and ask a question with a question. Another personal example is, let's say you have a girlfriend and they say, Does this outfit make me look fat? And if you just say yes, that totally might blow up in your face or if somebody says, Do you want to come to my party and let's say you don't want to go and you just straight up , Tell them no, you might offend this person and it might ruin the relationship for the long term. How do you answer these questions appropriately and get to the core of why people ask them and make sure you maintain your relationships for the long term. And again, how we're going to do this is we're going to answer these questions with questions. So again, instead of answering their questions directly, like saying yes or no, or I don't want to go to your party or yes, it does make you look fat. We can answer their questions with another questions to gather mawr information, and the more information that we gather, we're going to get to a point where we could answer their question appropriately. So again, the whole point of this is that if you just answer their questions right away, you may not actually answer the core of why they asked her question, but by answering their question with another question. You're gathering more information, your frame of the conversation, where you're in the position where they're just giving you information and you're in complete control. And once they give you enough information and you are confident that you could answer their questions accordingly and get to the root of why they ask it in a lot of time, that's going to be emotionally. Then you can actually answer their question and get the deal moving or persuade the other person to vo. However you want them to feel. So before I give you some examples of how you can answer questions with questions, Here's some key notes. When you do this first, you want to collect as much information as possible, and you want to understand why he asked the question. You want to get to the root because you're not a mind reader. You don't know exactly why people say what they say unless you actually ask them. And the best way again is to ask questions. The third point is that if you're unsure of why someone ask a question, you just gotta ask them from And the fourth is by asking a question is going to give you so much more control over the flow of the conversation, and it's going to give you so much more control over the conversation. And lastly, it typically takes three questions to get to the real rule of why people ask the question. So if somebody says this outfit make me look fat, sometimes you have to answer the question with three questions before you get to the root of why they're asking and then you can answer it appropriately. So let's go ahead and dive into example. So you know exactly what I mean. So some examples of counter questions, it could be something like how important is priced to you. How important is this to you? This seems really important to you. Can you explain why? What do you want me to do? I get the feeling you're upset. What can I do to help make this right? So these are some examples that you can use to answer a question with a question. And so now that you have some examples of counter questions, I'm gonna give you some questions again. Where I'm gonna show you exactly how I would answer their question with a question to get to the root of why they asked. So let's say somebody's asked me. How much is it, right? Let's say I'm a sales person and somebody asked me How much is my product or service? I could say something like, It seems like price, maybe something that's very important to you. Is there a range or a budget that you can share with me that we can work with? So we make sure it's a fit on both sides. In that example, I'm basically reframing it so that the other person tells me their budget. So I will show only show them products or services that actually fit their budget and not show them anything that just way out of their price range. So, another example. Let's say you're in a relationship, and then your girlfriend says, this is outfit. Make me look fat, and I could say something like, Baby, I love you, but what do you want me to say in this situation where I'm talking to? They might tell me exactly why they asked that they might see. No, I feel insecure about this I feel like this dress is too tight and blah, blah blah when you gather more information than you can answer accordingly. Another example is, Do you want to come to my party? And I could say, If I don't want to go to the party, I could say I'm a little busy right now. Is this a party really important to you? When I say it like that, they might say, Well, it's not really important because, you know, I have party every week, So if you want to come this week, you come next week and I say, OK, cool, right. So if it's not important to the person, I could just easily decline and I just say no, But if the person asked me again, Do you want to come to my party and actually is important? I could say I'm a little busy. Is this party really important to you? And they might say, Yeah, you know, it's my birthday coming up and we're having a big celebration. I want all my close friends to be there, and if that's the scenario, then of course I'm gonna make time for this person because it's their birthday. So rather than saying yes or no on the spot, I'm gathering more information by answering their question with another question. To gather more information. And then, if it's important, I'll go. If it's not important, I won't go. But it's better than me just guessing and saying yes or no right off the spot, because that may offend the other person. And it may ruin the relationship for the long term. Eso in negotiation. Someone might say to me, Do you think this is a fair deal? And I could respond with saying, Well, what exactly is fair to you? And so buy them defining exactly what fair is? I can answer that question by tailoring whatever I say next to ensure that after how this person defines a fair deal, I could say something that fits in that definition of fair, and then that negotiations going to go a lot more smoother, and that's a lot different from saying yes or no. So if somebody asked me, do you think this is a fair deal? And I say, Absolutely, it's a fair deal and they may say, I don't think it's a fair, do you? Why do you think is a fair to you and suddenly you have this conflict. But if you answer the question with a question and you say something like, Well, what exactly is a fair deal to you? Then you're gathering more information. You're framing the conversation where they're going to give you all the information and you're just controlling it with these questions. And once you gather enough information, you can finally make your statements on what, exactly you feel. A fair deal is it's going to align whatever they said, because you just have the upper hand. You have the leverage because used these questions to gather more information in The last example we're going to go through is, let's say I'm a buyer and somebody and the sales person says, What's your budget? And I could say, Well, before we get into the budget, do you mind showing me what different products you have at different price range? So I get a better understanding of what kind of services that you offer. So I reverse the situation where this other person, instead of me giving up that information of what my budget is because sometimes sales people will always price at the high end of your budget and try to take our your money, you could say, Hey, just show me everything that you got and I'll let you know which one makes the most sense. And then you reverse the situation where now the sales person has to do all the work in showing you everything, and then you could decide whether or not it's a fit for you or not. This is very different from if you just told them your budget. They may just finesse that situation and position it so that they're only showing you products that are on the high end of your budget, and they'll just keep pushing you and use high pressure techniques to get you to buy the most expensive thing that fits your budget. But you want to reverse it, have full control and choose whatever it is you want. True, without getting pressured by high pressure tactics by a sales person. So with that said, those are going to be a few examples of how you can answer a question using another question, and again, the whole point of it is to position yourself where you're collecting all the information and you have the control of the entire conversation, and then you can answer the questions accordingly, depending on whatever information that you get. So with that said, that's everything that we have to cover when it comes to answering questions with questions and I'm going to see you guys in the next section. 7. Softening Statements: everybody, what is going on? So in this section, we are going to cover softening statements now when it comes to softening statements, this is going to make you so much more deadly when it comes to using questions to completely take control over any type of conversation. How it works is that when you make any type of harsh statement or ask a hard question softening, it makes it easy to listen to for the other person. Essentially, you're literally softening the statement and and making easier for another person to hear whatever it is that you have to say, because if people aren't willing to listen to whatever is you have to say, forget whenever you're asking, because it's not going to communicate through their heads. And so this is why you need to position yourself in the situation where you're softening all of your harsh statements before you actually say them. So a softening statement is basically just a statement, you say before you say something harsh. Now, here are a couple examples of softening statements that you can use now again. How you use them is that you simply want to just put them in front of any type of harsh question. So some examples include that's a good point that makes sense. I'm glad you asked that. How I appreciate your question. I understand. I hear a lot of people say that. So as you can see here, they're essentially statements that don't really mean anything unless they're attached to another question. Now that you understand what a softening statement is, we're gonna go ahead and combine them with the questions that we've been learning throughout this section. So softening statements combined with their questions, so an example would be that's a good question. Can you explain why this is important to you? That makes sense. And why is this so important to you? I'm glad you asked that. Let's say we can deliver this to you in two weeks. What would be the next steps from here? I appreciate your question. If you were me, what would you do? I understand if we could do that for you, what would be the next step? So as you can see here, a softening statement basically just makes the entire question flow. And, like we learned in the other sections of answering a question with a question or using the DEA formula to ask a question. Essentially, you can always find a way to soften it and then ask the question. So, for example, when in the 1st 1 if I said something like that's a good question, can you explain why this is important to you? You can see here that the phrase that's good question empathizes with the other person and shows the other person that you're listening to, whatever it is that they're saying, if you just simply ask them, can you explain why this is important to you? That may work, but it might come off a little harsh, and they may feel like you're challenging them or question them too hard toe, get an answer. But if you say that's a good question, can you explain why this is important to you? It just makes it flow so much more and makes whatever you say so much more inviting. And by creating the environment where you feel comfortable and the other person also feels comfortable, there gonna be a so much more likely to answer whatever questions that you have. So again, softening statements are all about just making your questions a lot more softer, making them flow a lot more, making the other person feel much more comfortable so that they're more willing to give more information and answer your questions because the more comfortable you make another person feel the MAWR, likely they are to answer your questions. And the more questions that you could ask when with the more questions that you can ask, the more you have control over the entire situation. So that's why it's critical to make sure that you're not only using questions to control the dialogue but also use softening statements to make your question much more deadly by making the other person few much more comfortable. And again, this is not some manipulative tactics. You're simply just making your words a lot more nicer to here. So the other person's a lot more willing to answer your questions. So with that said, that is everything that we have to cover when it comes to using softening statements to make your questions, Ah, lot less harsh 8. Next Steps: Now, if you're getting any value out of these courses, make sure to leave a positive review. Sharing your experiences. I read every single review, and I really do appreciate your feedback. And if you want to see more videos like this, make sure to follow me on skill share so you could be notified on when I release my latest courses.