How To Transform Fears of Rejection And Self-Expression | Adam Sweeney | Skillshare

How To Transform Fears of Rejection And Self-Expression

Adam Sweeney, Songwriter/Emotional Intelligence Spec.

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15 Lessons (57m)
    • 1. Introduction

      1:11
    • 2. Fear Of Rejection

      2:21
    • 3. What Is Fear?

      4:30
    • 4. The Importance Of Self-Expression

      5:06
    • 5. Rejecting The Self

      4:56
    • 6. Types Of Self-Rejection

      4:11
    • 7. Rejection: Resistance To What Is

      3:51
    • 8. We All Have Gifts To Share

      6:06
    • 9. A Natural World Of Expression

      2:50
    • 10. Resisting The Moment

      4:06
    • 11. Allowing The Moment IS Receiving

      2:38
    • 12. A State Of Receiving

      7:15
    • 13. Allowing The Moment As A Process

      3:54
    • 14. A Wholistic Process

      2:12
    • 15. Final Thoughts / Recommendations

      2:05

About This Class

In this course, I share my perspective on fears of rejection and expressing yourself which go hand in hand. We breakdown the fear, exposing it for what it actually is and in bringing this knowledge to light it allows us to free ourselves from ultimately self-rejection.

I have had a lifetime of experience with this subject and this understanding has helped to free me to express myself without hesitation and to do my part in the world, which is to be me as fully as possible, as is your part for you as well. Enjoy! - Adam

Transcripts

1. Introduction: Hi, My name is Adam Sweeney, and I like to welcome you to my course on how to transform fears of rejection and self expression. Now I created this course because I had great fears of rejection and expressing myself when I was a kid and growing up, and it even followed me into adulthood. So I am very passionate about this subject, and what we're going to do in this course is break down exactly what this fear of rejection is, and we're going to understand how that first, it's no bigger or scarier than any other Fury might have. It's totally transform Herbal. We're going to see how rejection is not really a thing. It's illusionary. We're going to see how it's actually connected to the degree that we air rejecting ourselves in our lives, and we're gonna understand how we're doing this. We're creating these experiences with our own power, and therefore we also have the power to transform it. So thanks for joining this course and let's get started 2. Fear Of Rejection: Hello, This is Adam Sweeney, and let's get started with the course. So the first thing I'd like to tell you about fear of rejection is I know that sometimes it can seem much bigger or much larger than then the other fears he might have. But I want to let you know that it's the same, and it operates in the same way that all other fears operate in that it's an illusion. It's something we're creating, so it's not actually real. Although it can feel very riel, it perpetuates itself in our reality in that when we're buying into the fear, it shows up in our external mirror of reality. And when we see that we buy into it and then we take more actions that perpetuate the fear . And third, it's chosen based off of negative beliefs or negative definitions that we have such a zoo that were not worthy, that we're not good enough. So like all these other fears, it works the same exact way, so it's no bigger. It's nothing to be extremely afraid of or really afraid of at all because, like I said, it's an illusion, but we're going to break this down and let's go take a look at how fears work and what it is exactly. But before we go any further, I just want to let you know that understanding this fear of rejection particularly it is a process, and it may take some time. But once you have a clear understanding of it, then you can be less afraid of it and then take more action in those directions to express yourself so you might get frustrated set. Sometimes it might see still seem scary, but just want to let you know that even when you're finished, this course it is a process and you take what you understand. You take the new understanding and you apply that in your life. And when you put it into action, that's when you see the change. But the process is the point. It's the point of our growth to becoming more of ourselves and who we are. 3. What Is Fear?: So what is fear? What makes fear so scary? First thing to know is it fear is an effect meeting that it's it's secondary. It's an effect of negative or limiting belief systems or definitions and that you're buying into this idea that you in a spot where you don't have a freedom of choice, you don't have the space to choose. So no matter what the fear is, we when we buy into it, it's like we back ourselves into a very narrow corner, a very narrow space, and we can't see or perceive anything else or any other options. And this is what's so scary because we think that these fears last forever. But really, it's a choice we're making, you know, and we have other choice, other options. But it only seems like it's the only choice we have, because if we examine, the other choices will see that it's sometimes Russ. We think it's more beneficial in that it's safer to choose this than something else. But you'll learn. Once we expand our awareness of these fears, you'll see that we always have the freedom to choose to respond in the way we prefer. We always have the freedom to choose how we prefer to be. So these fears are based off negative or limiting belief. Systems are always founded and ideas of separation and lack. Now, really, the universe is abundant. There is no such thing as lack all that you can have an abundance of it and there's no such thing. It's separation. However, you can create an experience of both because the universe is unconditionally loving and supporting, supportive in that way. But it's important to know the difference is positive belief systems and negative belief systems based on separation and lack, because whatever you choose to buy into is the reality that that you'll see. And when you create that negative experience, you get yourself in a corner and then you get scared because you think that's all there is . But really, the universe is abundant. We always have a choice, and it's positive in nature. And we know that because we have the options, we always have the option to choose. So the next thing about fear is it's self perpetuating by our free will in action. So, like I said, when we buy into these fears about ourselves that aren't true that our negatives, such as we're unworthy or were not good enough. And this is why we feel rejected when that shows up in our external reality and we're faced with those circumstances that remind us of our belief systems. When we're faced with that, then we buy into it as being true. And then we take further actions out of fear, because when you take action out of fear in any direction, you perpetuate that fear and then you get this mirror this reflection and then you buy into that is being riel, and then you continue taking more steps out of fear, and it just creates the solidity because that's what belief systems dio. However, you can do that in both a positive or a negative direction. So in this instance, it's based off a negative direction because we're buying into negative beliefs that somehow we are. We are unworthy and therefore we experience these reflections of rejection once more. I want to remind you that fear is nothing but an idea, an illusion of limitation because we are not limited at all. However, we can create that experience of being limited. But really it's just a illusion and thinking that we have a lack of choice and really we always have the choice to respond, but as a self created experience by our own power, so that lets us know that we're powerful because we are in charge of creating that experience. And it's important to understand why we create that experience. And it's because the reflection shows to us what we're buying into, and we can either choose to respond differently and change it, or we can choose to keep buying into it. 4. The Importance Of Self-Expression: Let's talk about the importance of self expression because this is the other side of rejection we want to express ourselves. And in my view, it's our purpose to express ourselves. And we can do that in many different forms. In our relationships, our jobs, moment by moment, we express ourselves, We express our love and we express our personalities because our personalities air very unique to us. And really, we have that and we need to put it out there because that's what makes us feel alive. Expressing ourselves makes us feel alive, and it's a very natural feeling. It feels very good when we do this, and one important difference I want to highlight is when we are aligned in our self expression. So that's in a positive way. It benefits everybody because I bought into the idea before that. If I act on my do what's passionate for me and express myself in my highest joy, what if that makes other people feel bad? What if that somehow hurts other people? But really, if it's out of self love, that expression and it's a line, it benefits everyone, even if it's might seem like someone is unhappy with that. It's also a reflection for them, and perhaps it's a reflection to them of what they wish they were doing, but couldn't because they also have the same fear. And a personal example I can share is some distance I created between a friend that I have at home. And, um, he was being kind of negative. And I told myself that I don't want to be around that I want to express myself in positive ways. So the action I wanted to take was say, Hey, we need a little space or let's just not talk about thes topics And unfortunately we don't talk as much anymore. We're still in, you know, we're still good with each other. But he blocked. He buys into negative belief systems that I don't buy into anymore, so we don't relate as much. And I thought, Well, what if this is hurting them? What if this is a shame? What if I need to feel guilty about it, but really, it's just to reflect? It was a reflection for him to acknowledge what he's buying into and that I made a choice and maybe that choice that I demonstrated in the direction that I wanted in the positive direction. Perhaps that choice could be an inspiration to him, And the choices that we make to be ourselves can be inspirations for others. So just know when it's aligned with your true self and your best intention. Whoever you want to express yourself, it benefits everyone and at least showing them that if you can do it, then they can also do it. And if we all do this and the world will be a much better place, the fact I believe it is getting better. But you know that depends. The more you do that, the more you see reflections off that kind of world. So what kind of world do you want to choose to live in? And when we express ourselves? It's the unconditional self love that we show ourselves and allow ourselves and others. So if you ever heard of someone saying out, Do you love yourself? You say, Of course I love myself. I'm not going to say that I don't love myself, but what does that really mean? And it means you need to think, How do I demonstrate that I love myself? How do I How can I put that into physical action? Because action is involved in loving yourself. You need to in a sense, demonstrate that you believe that you love yourself, and the way that we do that is by expressing ourselves and however you would like to do it , maybe it's making any course of your own. Maybe it's making music painting. Expressing yourselves in something as small is a conversation just making your personality be known. Saying what you're thinking. What what comes to your mind? You know, if it's if it's aligned with you. So self love is really an act of our self expression. The more we do this, the more we get the reflections of that self love in our external reality, and we feel loved and supported and connected with everyone and everything. So fear is the only reason why we would choose not to do that, because it's just so natural to us to do what's joyful to do what's exciting but fear of rejection, fear of lack or separation, or that this is gonna be some kind of negative consequence keeps us from expressing ourselves when really, it's kind of contradictory to what happens when you do express yourself when you express yourself, you get positive reflections of that self love 5. Rejecting The Self: So let's really get into rejection and what it is. We have this assumption that when we experience rejection that it somehow outside of us. But that's a reflection that is secondary. So what is the initial cause of rejection and what I have discovered? It is rejecting the self. It originates from rejecting yourself first, because you're external reality or external circumstances are just a mirror for how you choose to be. And I guarantee if you look back, you can tie in and you can see how, if you experience rejection, that it came from rejecting yourself first in one way or another. And we'll get to those specific ways that we reject ourselves in a moment. But I want you know that rejection is it's not really a thing. It's an illusion. The more we understand and buy into this new idea, the more it the more or less scary it is, it's like failure's not a thing. Did you ever hear that that failure is not a thing? Because really, if you fail at something, what happens? Nothing. Nothing really happens. You just keep going. The same is if you feel rejected, it's not really a thing, and I'll get into the evidence of that that more in detail later. But it's not a thing. It's a trick. It's an illusion. If you start off with that idea in your mind, you'll go. Oh, I feel that's true. I feel it's a trick. I feel it's an illusion, but why am I buying into it? How is that so? And this is what this course is about breaking that down. So if our fear rejection originates from rejecting ourself first, then this fear rejection becomes not really ah, fear of rejection, but a fear of experiencing a reflection off our own self rejection. So that's even less scary. Not even afraid of this rejection were afraid of the reflection of it, meaning in our circumstance, maybe someone coming up to us or maybe just feeling left out because those are the reflections. And although it may be painful, I want to let you know that it's not the circumstance that is scary or that is painful. It's the belief behind them. It's the negative belief behind them, cause the negative and limiting beliefs that we choose to buy into don't resonate with us naturally because that's not who we are is infinite internal beings, the circumstances air secondary and not the cause of the pain. And I'll give you one personal example because I don't mind sharing. And I know these examples perhaps help you to understand these ideas in a real world setting is some years ago I had a girlfriend and she was living downstairs from me. So I was very nice guy and helped to get that apartment, and it was nice being that close and still having her own space. Anyway, we broke up after a year. I wasn't quite sure why, perhaps were on different paths, but I accepted it to an extent, However, when she started dating someone a few months later, and every time I saw them it was like, Oh, it's like a dagger to the heart. Every time I saw that, it was very, very painful. But I thought, What is really painful about this? Because it's possible for me to sit and even see that, even though I felt like it was very unfair. But it was in my reflective mirror of of my reality, so I thought, it's possible for me to be totally okay. with this, even though it's not really my preference to see it. But why it wasn't that circumstance of her being with him or me seeing it. It was the idea that it pointed me to a belief about myself that how could she be with him and not may? What's wrong with May? Am I not good enough? And these beliefs come up that maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not worthy and that's how we That's how I interpreted the situation. But that's OK. It's not the first time that I've received this reflection not being good enough. It was just now in a much, much bigger way to point me towards that. And as soon as I realized what it was doing that it was there for my benefit to see, I realize that I don't have to worry about messing with the external circumstance or changing it. But it's pointing me inside, so I need to change that belief. I need to explore that belief of that unworthiness. So this is an example to understand that we don't wheeling the fear, the circumstances or the reflection there, just pointing us towards something that we need to look at something that's not in alignment with ourselves, and then we go explore that 6. Types Of Self-Rejection: So we talked about how we reject ourselves first, and this is how we get that reflection that we sometimes fear. And that is painful because it reflects back to us these negative beliefs that we have about ourselves that were unworthy. You're not good enough. So what ways are we rejecting ourselves? Because it sounds kind of odd thinking. I'm walking around rejecting myself. What does that really mean? So I come up with two ways that I realized that we reject ourselves, the 1st 1 which applies to me. A lot of growing up in my childhood is choosing not to express who we are, either partially or completely. Basically, it's holding yourself back from expressing yourself, whether it's in a conversation or whether you're in school and you want to participate. Raise your hand and you don't you don't speak up. You don't take some chances. You don't say yes, the things that seem like exciting or to go out by yourself. Meeting new people. Holding yourself back is one way of rejecting ourselves and because it's telling the universe that you know this is who I am, but I'm choosing not to show it and the universe says okay, because it accepts whatever we choose because we always have that freedom, the Jews, and then we get these reflections. So when I was growing up, I was very quiet. I didn't express my personality, so therefore, I wasn't included in much, and I took that lack of inclusion as as a rejection when really no one was really doing it intentionally. I just didn't make my presence known. I didn't contribute to the moment with my personality, and then that's a reflection that I got. And I thought, Well, then maybe I must be under not good enough to hang out with everybody, but that wasn't true. It's not true. I was just holding myself back, rejecting myself in that way. Another way you might reject ourselves is by putting on a mask, overcompensating or pretending to be someone you're not basically trying to fit in, and this might happen when we're younger or even when we're older. But if you if you are, if you reject herself in that way by putting on a mask, then you're also gonna attract other people that put on masks who are not being their true Selves, and you're gonna wonder why I'm attracting these people who aren't really, really dependable or or good friends. They're just reflections of you and what you're putting out. And perhaps we've been like this or a combination of them for a long time, so it kind of feels normal. Tow us. But I want to let you know that even though it feels normal, it's not natural. It's not who we are, it's not, You know, when we're born as babies, we laugh and we cry and we don't care who's around. We don't censor ourselves, and eventually we get these. We adopt these belief systems that we need to stay in line or keep quiet. And then we have this idea that we're unworthy, and then we get those reflections and we perpetuate them so it may seem normal, but it's not natural and just have the awareness when you're doing that, when you're holding yourself back because even in action is a demonstration to the universe in action is also in action, and that is very important to understand, because I thought if I didn't do anything, then I was being safe. But then life doesn't perpetuate itself. It only does that when you take a physical action, but even so, it can perpetuate itself in a negative way If you don't take any action. Inaction is also in action. And when we take that inaction out of fear, it tells the universe that we reject who we are, who we were born to be A and it says okay, and then we get this reflection. 7. Rejection: Resistance To What Is: So let's break down rejection even more so up till now, we talked about how it's on illusion. It's not really a thing, and we're actually afraid of the reflection of rejection in circumstances in reality. And so, But what is it, really and what I determine? That rejection it's We're gonna soften it up a little bit because rejection seems like a big, tough word, a big kick in the teeth word, really, all it is is resistance to what is, that's all. Rejection is nothing more, and resistance to what is and what I'm going to say next might be very profound. But what is is what is is and always will, is and always was is in the matter of speaking. But my point is that if something is and this includes you and me and everything, everything, that is that it's worthy of being, it's worthy of existence. And you know it's worthy of existence because it exists as an option. And we're all unique flavors. We are all those options in a sense, as well as all the things that we like and all the things that we I don't like and if it exists, as an options and then it's worthy of being otherwise it would not be. Therefore, logic concludes that if we exist, then existence needs us to exist. We are, Ah, part of that and it would not be. Existence would not be the same or exist the way it does without us. So if we have beliefs off that we're unworthy or that we're not good enough, just know that if we are here, if we exist, then we are worthy. Rejection is nothing more than resistance to what is, and this also includes who we are now who we were and who we will become. So if you're hard on yourself for who you think you were in the past or how you're being now like it's OK. Those were valid versions off you and you'll navigate yourself as you prefer with more decision as you go along and exploring these beliefs will help you do that. So to resist what is is basically resisting this moment, resisting ourselves because we are, ah, part of that moment and I want to know that if you encounter any resistance or rejection externally in your reality, that no one is really rejecting you. They're just resisting their own moments, and you are a part of that moment. But it's not about you. It's about there a moment, just like if you're Is this something you don't like? Perhaps herself, perhaps a circumstance. You are a part of that moment and they are a part of your moments, so everyone has their own moments. At the same time. It's just, you know, do I resist my moment? Do you resist? Your moment has nothing to do with each other. So you might think, or just say to yourself, If you're feeling rejected by a specific person or a situation that why are they resisting their moment would have I reflecting back to them that they're resisting whatever it is, it's for their own reasons. So it's so and that's okay because it points. It points then to something to look at, just as it does for you. 8. We All Have Gifts To Share: So in this lecture I want to talk about, I want to let you know that I'm sure you already know we all have gifts to share. One of my gifts is teaching and exploring this knowledge in these concepts. We all have gifts to share, and this lecture will apply to those of you who perhaps want to create content or want to do something different with your job or your life. And I want to let you know that there are billions of people out there. We have the Internet. There's an audience for everything, everything you can think of. And if you're excited about doing something, I guarantee there is someone excited out there to receive it. However, it you need to offer it first. And I know that can be scary sometimes because it draws attention to yourself and you think , Oh, that can draw criticism that can draw rejection. But I want to let you know that when you put yourself out there, yes, you're attracting attention. There is a light that goes out, but it's like, Oh, I see that someone else sees it. They know where to go now, however, sometimes we may put out this light partially or not enough, and we may get We may get haters or feel rejected, but really, it's just a reflection to go back inside and saying, How can I present myself with more clarity? How can I present myself more directly? Maurin Alignment. Put myself more out there. I'll give you a quick example. I have a course called or I did of how to become a lyric writing machine. So it's basically my how I write songs, how I write lyrics and it's been out for. It was out for a couple years, and the ratings kind of staggered between around 4.4 point 14.2 out of five. And because I would get these reviews, you know, saying that maybe the description was misleading or this is not what they thought. It waas and I'm like, Well, I know it's good material, you know, Other people have told me, so how am I not being clear enough? So what I did was I added some new lectures. I revamped the course and the title, and I I was afraid that if I did that, then less people would would buy it last, people would enroll. But really, I put myself out there even more, and I did even like one of my some of video is a little meditation saying, Hey, I center myself before I write lyrics because I really dio But I was afraid that people would think, Oh, that's too area farrier. That's you know it's not gonna help me get stuff done, but it really does. And I wanted to express that. So the course had to become a lyric writing machine, became your enlightened guy to end this lyric writing. And now, currently, in time, it's It's the highest rated course on on the Platforms that it's that it's on around 4.74 point eight out of five. And it's because that it's just so obvious what it is that the people who need that who resonate with that saying, Oh, this is what I need. I see it from the start and the people that don't they're like, OK, this isn't for me and that's OK. But really it was just a fear of being rejected, and that caused my content to not be as much as it could be, however, The paradox is when it was sort of partially what it could be. I face that rejection because the rejection was in me holding back. So see how this works so and others may reject your stuff and just know that it's just a reflection, either. Either It's because, like I just said before, we need to put yourself more in there, make out there and make it more clear. Or maybe someone's just frustrated that they're not putting themselves out there, that they're not creating what they want because of their own fears and what they believed to be possible. But even so, the more that you put yourself out there, the more express yourself, the more of those positive reflections of self love you'll get, and you'll eventually will rarely come across. Those people will rarely. I rarely get that feedback. People gravitate towards what they need. There's no need to. The only reason they might one reason they might reject it is because they feel forced like these air, my only options. But that's what fear does. It makes us feel limited when when really we just need to take a breath and perceived, then we can perceive other things. More options. Look at things more closely, but just know if someone rejects what you're doing, then, um, they're not your audience anyway, so it's OK. It's not for them. And this is also a good point to make if you are selling something to not be so sales E. But people want to buy into what's authentic, what comes across as as genuine. You're just doing it not to create contents, not to just make sales. But you're doing it because because you love to do it because you have something to express and and share and you'll see that you'll get reflections of that self love and people will buy your stuff and it will support you in that way. And that's what's great because when you're supported, you can create more stuff that you love. And that's how you live an exciting life when you don't buy into those beliefs that you can't do it or two or the reasons that your too afraid to do it 9. A Natural World Of Expression: this illustration came to mind when I was thinking, What would a natural world of self expression look like? Like if there is no rejection or fear of judgment, basically my idea of what this world is going to like with the Internet and all the opportunities, you know, it's unbelievable. You know, there's some people supporting themselves by either doing street magic or making videos and just getting a following and their supported just because they're so natural and just express what they're doing. But I believe that, you know, in the future it will be more clear. As we go through these fears and transform them. They'll be more integration with what everyone's doing. More collaboration instead of competition to build everyone up, increased the value, equal validity and everything, a co existence and always a freedom of expressing to express what everyone we want to express in a freedom of choice, to choose what we need and what we prefer. So let's say this thought is me in the center and and these thoughts are you guys, you gravitate towards me and this material because it's what you need. For the moment, maybe someone else's giving similar material. Maybe Maybe this is you putting out what you would like to express and people that come to you. So just know that you can You can be your own star now. And the more you put yourselves out there more clearly and openly without holding back, the more that people will see you and go, Hey, oh, I need to go over there. I'm glad that light was on. That I can seek is now I know where to go, but we can be our own stars. And I want to let you know that are followers and our fans that like us for who we are and what we dio. There are reflections of self love. It's like if you think of the Beatles or Taylor Swift and you see those fans just like running after them and just wanting to be with them and take photos, it's because they express themselves and their gives very openly, and their fans are their own reflections off that self love that they put out. And we can all have that to a sense, and I guess, to a degree that's that's relevant for us. But those people that common just appreciate us and love us for who we are or that already do that for you and love what you share when you put out and appreciate it and tell you that. Just know there your reflections off the self love that you put out first instead of rejecting yourself first, which gets an entirely different reflection. 10. Resisting The Moment: So we talked about how rejection is nothing more than resisting what is and resisting what is includes holding back ourselves, resisting ourselves, but also resisting the moment when I see the moment. I mean whatever circumstances, situation is in front of us because resisting ourselves and resisting the moment is the same thing. So it's another way that we reject ourselves by rejecting the moment what's in front of us . We are a part of that moment. They're connected. They're one in the same thing. So this is the another way that we reject ourselves. We are a part of each of those moments and if we resist the moment, if we resist resist life in a sense then that's when we feel resisted by the moment. That's when we don't feel supported by life. That's when we don't feel that things are going our way. So the more allowing we are of ourselves to be who we are and the more allowing of the moment to be what it is, no matter what the more will get. Those positive reflections of self love and the more will feel supported by the moment and our universe, so to be clear. It's not just about accepting ourselves and the moment, but it is also about expressing yourself in that moment, so to be perhaps even more clear, it's not just allowing the moment but allowing ourselves to express ourselves in that moment because they're one of the same thing. And and when we work together with what's in front of us and express and choose to express ourselves and the way we prefer, then things go our way. They they go in the direction that we prefer and we see that life just unfolds and it doesn't stay static. It doesn't stay unchanging because that's not its nature anyway. But it unfolds, is more exciting things and you grow and you realize more ways that you can express yourselves. You pick up more interests and you see that everything you were doing is connected to everything that you did and everything that you that you will do you because before I give you an example. Before I started before I started teaching making e courses, I had a website. It's called my English lyrics dot com. It's not there anymore, but when I started that it was a service to help international songwriters by proof reading their lyrics. But I also wrote, I also wrote articles on the website of my thoughts about being a singer songwriter, but my thoughts of song writing and express it in almost like a spiritual way, but kind of the way that I'm Yeah, that I'm talking now and I really enjoyed it. So I thought, Hey, maybe I'll make a course out of that. And although the website maybe supported me as much as it did cost me to have it, it led to this other ideas other expression of creating e courses, which now does support me. And you guys are supporting me by by watching it and enrolling. So I thank you very much from the bottom of my heart so that I can keep doing what I love and keep and keep exploring because that's what life is all about. And there's no reason why anyone could do otherwise or would feel like they have to choose otherwise or being a place that they don't like or don't or don't prefer. So it just matters what you would believe. You buy into about that that possibility. I'm telling you it starts with open self expression. Maybe this a little bit at the beginning, but the more you do that, the more it will grow and the more I promise it will support you. 11. Allowing The Moment IS Receiving: So this lectures call, allowing the moment also receiving, because I want to make you aware that every moment that's in front of you, we are receiving that moment. And if we have that idea that we're receiving something, then will be more open to it and less likely to resist or reject the moment. But here's a question for ourselves. If the moment is there, no matter what, why I resist the moment, why resist what is? And the only reason we would resist what is for the moment or circumstances is that we have a belief that somehow it's not benefiting us, that somehow it's not. We prefer. It's not how it should be. But what if it is? What if it actually is benefiting us every moment? What is? It's just the mind that's saying that's dismissing it. But really, what if we are being given exactly what we need and we're just not seeing it? What if it's on Lee dismissed by the mind What it's the my what if the mind is wrong? What if the mine doesn't have a clue about what we need? What would that mean? What would that mean If it really didn't have a clue. Then what would we do with the moment? Maybe we wouldn't judge it so harshly. Maybe we wouldn't have labels such Aziz good or bad, because of their value judgments that don't really exist. But it comes down to just like a preference. Perhaps you don't prefer it. Perhaps you don't prefer what's there in front of you. However, it's important to know that. Or maybe I'll forming in a question. What if it was there for a reason that overall you would prefer, like you ever have a blessing in disguise, for example, or you don't feel like going out. But you made plans with a friend and they call you up and cancel it. You're like, uh, us or or you thought you had to go somewhere. Um, you thought you had to show up somewhere. But you didn't and you decided not to, and you saved your energy or did something else more positive. And you realize that maybe was canceled or you weren't really needed there and like oh, blessing in disguise. What if it was like that? What if every moment benefited us? 12. A State Of Receiving: So if we had this idea that every moments that's in front of us is benefiting us somehow when we know we're being offered something at every moment, then we're automatically in a state of receiving because either we're allowing the moment or either were resisting the moment. What if we thought about it as something that we're receiving, because being in a state of allowing is also being in a state of allowing to receive? Doesn't that sound much more exciting? It's like, Oh, I'm getting something at every moment, but maybe I don't see or understand what it is because I'm automatically invalidating it or I'm not in a good mood, so I can't see it from that perspective. But we could be in a state of receiving, which is also allowing in our natural state. And it feels good and we feel flow and we accept what is. That's all that meditation is about is centering yourself and accepting the moment. But words can matter here so I could sit there and meditation say Okay, I accept the moment except the moment. But when I tried saying I'm receiving the moment, I'm getting something. I'm receiving something cool I then I felt these vibrations. I felt this Engy like a Hatton felt it before because that word triggered a different filter for this energy. So we may invalidate it. We may say this is not we prefer, but it's all about an understanding of how can I make it? So I don't resist the moment that I don't reject the moment because that would be rejecting resisting myself, and that would lead me down a path to get those reflections of what I exactly don't prefer . But let's say it benefits us. So I've come up with a couple ways that it benefits us. So the moment leads us to more of ourselves by one revealing what we believe to be true. That's out of alignment, just like that example of me and my ex girlfriend. When I saw her with someone new. That's what it did. It revealed to me those feelings of unworthiness, some belief that I was buying into that I wasn't good enough, and that's a positive thing because you can look at that. You can break that down, you can transform that. The second thing that the moment gives you is an opportunity to demonstrate when you prefer to demonstrate what you've learned to demonstrate what you changed. Because physical action creates physical change in your situation in the reflection. And so when you feel that you're ready to do that, the degree to which you express yourself and that change is the exact degree that you will see in your reflection or physical circumstances. So this is what the moment is giving us these other benefits, revealing what's out of alignment so we can choose, and by that, by that choice and understanding of what was out of alignment when we choose different beliefs after we go through that process, of course it's always giving us an opportunity. So let's say you decide to be a more positive person and you changed. However, the people around you didn't change and they react the same. They react the same way. Well, this can sometimes happen, and you might wonder, wise in the reflection changing. But it'll show you the same exact circumstance to put you in that situation, to see if you've really changed by demonstrating by responding differently. That's the measure of change, is how you respond differently to the same situation. So when we have this moment, we can either use it or not use it. But I'll tell you when we don't use up the moment, that's when things seem like they're stuck. That's when things seem like they're not changing at all for us because we need that moment . We need what it has to offer us so we can take a look at ourselves and demonstrate that change. And if we don't accept, allow and use that moment for its purpose, then it's just going to stay the same. Or maybe after a while things do change, but you end up in a situation that's very similar with very similar people. However, once you use it up, once you use what it's therefore you tell the universe I've received this moment and you communicate that by the action that you demonstrate that you changed that. You use the moment for what it's for Onley. When you choose not to use the moment when you choose to resist, what's there, what's in front of you. Only when you do that you create this experience of no change, but we're always changing. We're different people at every moment that you wake up and look in the mirror, you look different every day. So when you is this the moment that creates an illusion because fears an illusion, remember off unchanging this and that's not the nature of things. So when we have that illusion, then we get scared that things aren't going to change. And then we continue to take action of inaction, of not receiving the moment by not using it. And then that's how we get stuck. Once you use it up. I promise the situation will change because the whole point is to grow and to expand. It wouldn't give you the same thing if you didn't need it. So it'll unfold and present the next step to you. You know, this is how you create change. This is how your circumstances change by using up what's in front of you and in the grand scheme of things, know that there are certain tools, preparations, experiences that you need before you can have your ideal situation. So an example is, um, the person that I'm dating now. If I met them four years ago, it would have already been over because four years ago I had so many spots to touch, to be poked of those negative beliefs that I would have gotten in the arguments and it would have already been written already been over. But I had that time I went through those processes and now the relationship is a lot smoother, so we may not always see it, but the moment is always preparing us for the next moment, moment and all the moments before that. It's really cumulative. It's a holistic system and it all connects. So that's why every moment matters, and it's not really so much about having your ideal situation, but the process that you go through in order to become that version of yourself that can experience that. 13. Allowing The Moment As A Process: So let's keep going on giving ourselves reasons to accept the moment, to accept what is This is a holistic process. And now what if we saw, You know, life is not about getting somewhere necessarily because it's always changing. You know, you're never in the same relationship with the person every day. You're both different people every day. So what if we saw life as just a big process of becoming someone becoming who we are, who we're meant to be and the fullest way possible? And we don't know exactly who that is yet, but we know who we are now. But what if we saw that as a process, a process of becoming our full Selves by allowing by expressing by growing. And what if this process was made up of smaller processes like our jobs, our relationships, the things we want to create would have all those processes were connected cause I can give you an example. I do have another job, a day job, and I'm doing what I love there as well as doing what I love here and now. But the past six years I didn't enjoy it so much, but I decided to, you know, act on my excitement anyway, to create content and be a teacher in that sense. And I didn't know this, but that was actually preparing me for when a spot opened up at my company. At some point, I don't even know they did this, that they create their own content, their own videos. And now I'm doing those videos, Those content, those voiceovers, and I'm being paid to do it. I'm being paid to have fun at work and, you know, take these free, expensive courses on how toe fix audio. And now I can apply that to these videos. So it's all all connected. So what? That big process of ourselves was connected to these smaller processes. And what if each of these smaller processes were made up of steps or moments? So a big process made up of small processes of our relationships, jobs and other things that we go through. But each of those processes is made up of moments. Now what if you needed each one each moment to complete the process? Would you be more excited about it then? Would you be open to receiving it more knowing that Hey, whatever is in front of you. I need this. Would you be excited about every moment knowing it is contributing to a process of elevating you to a place of more freedom and joy and love? Because that's what these processes do. It's just expanding ourselves to our true nature, not only by going through our belief systems to know that we're free, but then express ourselves individually. And those processes are made up of those steps made up of those moments. The moment that you having right now taking this course is a part of that process, too. Help you understand this fear of rejection and when you do that and you respond differently and you feel like you can express yourself than it contributes to those other processes when you express yourself in your relationships, your job and your project, which contributes to your life. So I want you to see this, how it's broken down, how one thing here at the bottom affects everything else. And when we have this understanding that we can accept the moment, maybe even be excited about it, knowing that we're receiving something and it's just all about our state that we choose whether we receive it or not, neither allow or resist. In that sense, 14. A Wholistic Process: and give it like this. And like life is a recipe. How I said that it's made up of moments and steps or processes. See that, like making a meal, See it as making a meal. And if you need all the ingredients and you need all the steps because there's an organizing principle to it all, everything matters. And maybe you have to chop up the salary, maybe have to chop it up. Maybe that seems like work, but it's up to you whether you wanna enjoy that by allowing that moment knowing it contributes to a great meal in the end, then you don't mind. Maybe you don't mind so much what you're doing, and you're allowing moment and you're doing it in a state of love. So this is a metaphor that you can use to think about it, that everything matters every moment matters, So my recommendation to you is, of course, it's your choice. But see life as a process made up of process is made up of moments and understand how it benefits you and how it benefits everyone else to do so when you express yourselves and when you have this understanding that you won't resist the moment anymore. You won't resist yourself and you won't get those reflections of self rejection and that originate from you in the first place. So our lives, relationships and our endeavors. Like I said, they're not static. They're all processes, which means that they're always changing, shifting, moving, evolving from one thing to another that contribute to the greater part of ourselves to contribute to elevating us to that space of love and freedom and who we were meant to be. So please allow, allow the moment received the moment, see how this is all connected, rejecting ourselves, rejecting our moment. We all have reasons for doing that. I'm giving you reasons to see that there are benefits, and when you understand that, you will take different actions and you will get there for different results in your reality 15. Final Thoughts / Recommendations: I would like to leave you with some final thoughts because now we're at the end of this course and I thank you for for being with me this whole time, and this is what I love to do. This is my expression. So go out and express yourselves and, you know, contribute to the world in a positive way, which will be very natural. When you do that, you won't even have to think about that. This is what I like to leave you with, understanding ourselves our fears and transforming them. This is the process. It's OK that it takes time is all about self exploration, knowing who you are at this moment and doing what you need to dio going through those processes in order to become who you prefer to bay so allow each part of this process as it unfolds in front of you. And the more you allow that, the more you understand who you really are, who you really are by nature, and you are being now on what you're buying into is contained time and it can take practice . But that's OK. It takes me time and practice to and part of that practice is talking to you about my fears that I had this fear that I've had it for a long time because one of my fears was expressing that I have fears. So this is my way of demonstrating. So I hope you see that as an example and as an inspiration. So what I'd like to leave you with is enjoy the process of understanding this illusion of rejection and whatever it leads you to. One last note. If you are interested in belief systems and understanding them and how they work in our to create our reality, please see my course on how to change core beliefs. Thank you very much. I'll see you next time.