How To Talk To Strangers And Become Friends | Curious Pavel | Skillshare

How To Talk To Strangers And Become Friends

Curious Pavel, Entertainer, Videographer, Host

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12 Lessons (34m)
    • 1. Welcome

      1:09
    • 2. Disclaimer

      1:47
    • 3. How to deal with Rejections

      2:40
    • 4. Who are the right people for you (the LA rule, step 1)

      1:13
    • 5. Where to meet the right people

      4:15
    • 6. What to talk about (the LA rule, step 2)

      2:07
    • 7. What to talk about with COMPLETE STRANGERS

      6:14
    • 8. Have a joke to spare

      5:26
    • 9. Unspoken words

      6:44
    • 10. How to maintain the relationship

      0:37
    • 11. Summary

      0:37
    • 12. End

      0:59

About This Class

In this course, I'll show you the step-by-step Formula that I've been using whenever I change my environment (e.g. move to a different city, change a job, start University, etc)

If you want to:

  • Make more friends... but just don't know how¬†

  • Be able to start conversations... but you never had the courage

  • Find people with the same interests as you... but not sure where to start

...then that will mean that...

I Made This Course For You.

After having a childhood mainly around computer games, from the age of 18 I started taking jobs in the customer service industry. Slowly starting as working on a parking lot and on an anchored ship in Alaska, I then took a job that demanded from me to talk to STRANGERS: Hotel Entertainment. For 6 years I was entertaining people from all over the world in hotels in Bulgaria, Greece and Spain. That helped build a system that I can follow whenever I speak to somebody for a very first time.

I'll show you communication techniques that you can start implementing straight away.

If you are looking for techniques on HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY FLIRT, then this might not be the right course for you. Although there are tips that might help you in the communication in those situations, this is not the main subject of the course.

Here's a sample of what you'll learn inside:

  • How to deal with rejection

  • Who are the right people for you

  • What to talk about with strangers

  • How to break silence

  • Body language techniques

  • How to keep newly built relationships

  • What to avoid when speaking to strangers

  • How to join a conversation in a group of people

And much, much more...

I can help you instantly talk to strangers. The very first step you need to take is to sign up for this course.

I'll see you in class ;)

To your success,

Curious Pavel

Transcripts

1. Welcome: Hello and welcome to the how to Talk to strangers and become France, a step by step online course. Here you will learn how to deal with rejections who are the right people for you, where to find them, what to talk with them, how to maintain their relationship and also feel interesting and useful techniques when you may need new people in your circle. The office times are when you move to another city or start a university. But it can also be when you start a new hobby already at a new habit to your routine. Probably also when you start a new job, unless you want to be the person who goes there, does his thing and then just leaves what it's for. For the record, I think you should be always looking to add new people to your circle. Oftentimes, this will make you see the world from a different perspective, and actually it opens quite a lot of opportunities. So congratulations on choosing this course. Let's begin 2. Disclaimer: actually, before we begin, let me ask you this claimers. First of all, this course is not how to pick up girls. Wait, it's not No, it's not. Although there things that you can add to your pickup game. This is not the main subject of the course. And secondly, this course will not help you. Magical little anybody in your friends just like that. Actually, there is no course, no book, no video, no article out there that can help you do that. But that's a good thing because you don't want just anybody in your circle. You want the right people because alongside positivity around the world, there is a lot of negativity. And trust me, you do not want negativity. And negativity is something that should not be ignored. And you should aim to reduce it as much as possible in your life or and by the way, the platform you're taking this course on might give you a certificate at the end of the course. But I will not. Why? Because you do not need this paper, how they imagine this. You see a couple of people chatting. You approach them and say, Hey, guys, I just had this really cool courses. I just came to make you my friends. But what? I have a certificate. Wait. That's not how this works. And one last thing. If you're thinking to live a review, toe this course, please, please, please wait until the end. Finished the course and then let everybody know what you're thinking about. This course. Enough with introductions and welcoming statements. Let's begin. 3. How to deal with Rejections: probably you have heard of the following expression before. Hope for the best. Expect the worst. That's really smart in that spirit. Before you start talking to people, it will be good to get prepared to get rejected and deal with it. Now, this is on a how to overcome your fear scores. This you have to figure out for yourself. Well, this is how I do it. I will look at the person I want to talk to. I don't ask myself what is the worst thing that can happen. He or she might think. And boring, stupid or overreacting. The things I'm saying, all of these will not make you feel good. Neither look good in their eyes. But then I remember I'm leaving in London. It's a massive city, and the chances to see that person are almost zero. Then I'm ready to go and talk to them. And even if the talk does not go well, every talk you make is a practice for the next one. But I'm from a small town where everyone knows each other. That's even better. I'm confused. Think about it. You want to add gym in your circle in a place where everybody knows everybody. Best thing you can do is ask your friends to introduce you to Jim himself or other people around. Jim, if that's not an option and your initial talk with Jim doesn't go well, eventually, somebody will be talking with Jim about you. And if you cool, the conversation will be something like that. Hey, hey, man. What's up? Having it, Pablo? Yeah, Yeah, I met him. Well, well, don't Trees would be weird. Not a school in the school is funny. Interesting character. I like him, huh? Alternatively, you can always go and dragging. That was my technique to deal with objections, I say was because now it's so deep in my mind that I don't even think what may happen. I would say Try a few times with this technique and it still doesn't work for you. Then try something else. But you have to deal with those rejections because you're gonna get some. That's it for rejections. Now, let's see where to meet those people. 4. Who are the right people for you (the LA rule, step 1): Okay, We're ready to deal with rejections. Now it's time to find the right people. And once they're gonna say the right people because believe me, you do not want random people in your circle. What I would like to introduce here is something called the L A rule. I don't know for the online, because you won't find anything. I just came up with it, like now What l A stands for is look around and it's in two steps. In the first step, it transforms itself into look at yourself, because this is all you have to do in order to find the people that you're looking for. Think about it. If you enjoy in making videos, that makes perfect sense to go that and look for other people with the same interest. No, I hate month. Nice camera. Oh, thanks. I'm probably right away. I'm kind. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, man. So go ahead. Think about things that you like to do. Things that spark your curiosity and make a list. Once you know who you are, you will know what to look for. And once you ready with this convent, eggs, video 5. Where to meet the right people: Okay, So where to find the right people? A big chunk of the world now these sleeves on the Internet and that is where you should go first. Here is an example of website that was Suit your purpose. It's called mita dot com, and it works really simple. People create groups depending on their interests. People that have the same interest joined these groups. When the creators of the groups have enough people in those groups, they organized events. So you will join the groups and eventually go to these events summer for free. Some you have to pay for. Let's have a deeper look of the website assume is going the website. You see the activity of your groups on Lee, you can see a calendar where you can select the date and see what's happening on that date . So it's you have here Tuesday, all the events for Wednesday and so on. You can also have your groups and suggestions and now have even more events. You can also go to groups instead of calendar, and then you see firstly your groups and then because he suggested groups and you what you'll find is there multiple subjects you can choose from Blockchain entrepreneurship young while in free. Let's see you like this one. You can see what the event is all about. You can read more about it. You can see the upcoming events. You can check the members this group more than 3000 members, and you can easily join the group. Some groups who asked questions upon request some will not. This group. You're already a member. You can find almost everything. Bovis crypto badminton, salsa, Spanish football, swimming, reading Until you're almost everything, don't see your interest on the website. Then why don't you create your own group? If you're confident in organizing events, that's gonna be perfect for you. If you cannot organize event, they team up with somebody who can do that. Where to find that type of person. Well, keep watching those videos, and it's not. Just meet up dot com. Other similar websites are near ified and city socializing. Have a dog. There is an app called Meet My Dog. Your dog is going to make a friend, and so will you also get into local faithful groups and become part of the community and mawr. Hang around the kitchens and the common areas in the hostels and hotels you're visiting. And finally, a great app. Slash website is couchsurfing where you're basically surfing through other people's couches . And when I say something, I don't actually mean surfing. I mean more like sleeping here in the benefits from couchsurfing one you make a friend to you get to know the culture rather than just taking random pictures and free. It's for free, although be a nice guy and by your host on be dinners, drinks, maybe prepare some from your own cuisine. Thanks Toa couchsurfing. I met Tony when I visited Helsinki. I learned about how important sounds are for the fence. I ate a reindeer and more importantly, I made a friend. The reason you go to this applications and websites is because there you find people. We have something in common that, of course, there other places talk to your co workers, talkto other students in the university. Talk to the people we played football with. Talk to other salsa dances, whatever you are attending and they're more people around. You will have a least one thing in common with those people, and that is your conversation starter That's how we started conversation and dig for other subjects that you have in common. Think of all this and go to the next video. 6. What to talk about (the LA rule, step 2): for our entire childhood. We were told not to talk to strangers. But when you're an adult, you need to change that. And often times it's quite challenging. In this chapter will discuss what you can talk about with complete strangers. Here is the think they're not complete strangers. Remember the L A rule? The second step will help you with that. Well, the footstep was called Look at yourself. The second step is called Look at then. Think about this. You meet up with George and you start digging for subjects that you have something in common. So let's say you both like sports. Okay, we're getting closer, but he likes swimming. And you like basketball. That's not really helping the case. You both like reading. Oh, that's good. We're getting closer. But why are you reading? One hour in 10 days? He's reading one hour, but a day we're getting apart again. You both watch TV. Siri's Oh good will come in closer and you both watch Game of France. Perfect. We have something to talk about that both of you have watched all the seasons. Well, it's much better. And then both of you do not like the final episode getting even more than more, more so that is set for conversation for hours. And while this conversation is going, you're actively listening for other points that you're hitting together with George. If you go to an event like to grow your business for you two birds networking you already have at least one thing in common at least one subject to talk about. How do you find the event? Is this your first time here? Are you working on something interesting at the moment? If you're not sure how to start, try one of those phrases in the next chapter. I will share with you something really interesting. We'll see you there. 7. What to talk about with COMPLETE STRANGERS: As I said before, the reason to go to this Web sites and applications is to find people that you have something coming with, something that it's not only your conversation starter, but the subject's gonna keep you occupied for a while. But what if you want to speak to somebody you have nothing in common with? Somebody just randomly met. You're not attending an event together. There is nobody to introduce you, somebody that you randomly just met on the street. But you want to talkto. Sadly, you feel you have nothing in common. Well, here's the thing even that you figured have nothing in common. Most of the times you actually have. Here's what I mean. Years ago, I was working as an entertainer in hotels. Now, don't you think other entertainment? No, no, no, no, no. Has nothing to do with that. My duties were very simple. During the evenings, I'll be on stage with a microphone. He had presenting different shows like bingo, music, quiz and Game with the oldest during the day, organized sports activities and part of my duties was to go to people are on the pool on the beach and talk to them communicated with them. That was part of my jobs. They were pushing me, actually do that. And most of the people that were in these hotels were Germans. So think about this real quick. The difference between me and the guests of these hotels was massive. Who had different language. Different culture, different countries, different mindset. Every moves different. But still you can find something. If I was a German tourists in that hotel. And they're mostly that's a English people. And I heard Gentlemen speech. Okay, we have something in common already. If the hotel was full with Germans and then I hear a specific German speech like a You're from South Germany, aren't you? Well, how did you know? That's nothing. But then I was working there. You can use that and excuse to talk about, but then what? You're gonna talk about so many differences. Here's how I did it. Good morning, sir. I'm working this quarter, and I just came to check if everything is OK with your state. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. Oh, good. Thanks. No problem. Well, if there's something we can do, just let us know. But away. My name is Pablo. hunts Haas from Germany. Oh, yeah. You know I am. Which city? Oh, you know Germany. I live near Frankfurt. A front for the mine. Oh, how did you know? I met a friend who lives in Al Dana, which is next to Frankfurt and actually went to visit him. It's quite a small village, Do you know? You see, you have to use connection that you are familiar with. And luckily, I had this in that example. What I often used was my passion for football. So it go like that. We're from I'm from Frankfurt. I tracked friend for a really good for nothing. They didn't very well now. Oh, very well. Yes, that is my team. But it's part of the conversation. Was former one. I was introducing myself. Who am I? What am I doing that then things went personal. And you kind of want things to get personal because that's when people open up. And the more open there with you, the closer you're with them. Here's a tip. Every time you're about to speak to somebody new in your life and I just knew anybody ask yourself the following question. Do you actually know something have all this person then the question is no very simple. Ask a question. Come back here. Now, After he has the question, you may still not know something vital for that person to have a conversation. So you might need to come back here asking a question. Do you know something about the person? Yes. Then can you talk about it? Isn't your field of expertise We actually have some value to add to the conversation? That topic? If the answer is no, then come back and ask another question. Do you know something about the person? Something more? Yes. Can you talk about it? Yes. Well, then talk about it. Is that simple? Let's do an example show. Imagine you meet a football friend. You recognize a football fan because of his outfit. Very colorful. Have very colorful. And any ask question. Okay. Which team do you support? He says. Liverpool. Great. Do we know something about the person? Yes, he likes football and she supports Liverpool. Can you talk about it? Let's say for a single example that you're not a football fan, and even though you cannot have any violent to the football conversation, you can twist the things around as the question. I haven't been to Liverpool, Person says No, even though it's no, it's still a fight. Information. Let's say your travel and you have bean to Liverpool. Can you talk about it? Sure you can. You being there Then you can say to the person, Hey, by the way, did you know that the cathedral with the biggest dome in UK is Liverpool really aided? And also there's a really nice rivers called mercy and then they're also really cool shops . I can tell you two of them. They're an amazing location with a fantastic view. Would you like to hear about them? Yeah, sure, Why not? Do you have any pictures? Your conversation? So any time you're struggling with what to say, what to do, how to approach, you can think about this, that I think you may start your conversation. I hope this sums it up for you about how to talk with complete strangers. And I think this is the right place to make a note. Although give you a few examples and techniques that you can use. I cannot actually cover every scenario. The reason I'm making this online courses, not for the sake of online course, but I really want to help you out. So if there is a situation that you're struggling with, scenario that you don't know what to do, write it down in the comments and I'll try to help you out. I mean it, let me know. 8. Have a joke to spare: in this chapter. I am going to tell your story, So just sit back, relax and listen closely. You don't happen. Back in 2017 when I was living already in London for about two years, one beautiful day, I needed to use the public transportation. So I went to the bus and in order to enjoy better the journey, I went to the upper floor. And as I was climbing the stairs I saw a lady sitting there and crying. Now I don't know how the site of crime people are fixed. You but me personally make me really, really sad. So I sat down. That makes to her to free Rose before her. I didn't start to think What can I do to make her troubles go away? At least for a bit? I'm coming from the entertainment diagram and these was bugging me here. So I started to think that I was thinking that I was thinking and thinking and thinking, thinking, thinking and then suddenly my bus stop came So I need to go down. So went down. She was too crying. I couldn't do anything. I didn't do anything, so I went down and Then I was thinking Next I see a person crying I will do something Surely enough to express and guess what? Yes, you guessed it. I go in the underground to use the trains and then as I go inside, you could hear a lady crying. So she was sitting and I was standing in the middle. He was quite crowded. A It's London. This time I was determined to do something problem. Waas I didn't know what I didn't think of anything. Two weeks, Nothing. But anyway I was determined. I knew that on the next stop many people will go down. So the plan waas When this happens, I will shuffle down towards her and then I don't know things. Something on the way. Surely enough. The next step comes. A lot of people go down. I'm shuffling next to her and imagine the picture. She's sitting down crying, and I'm just standing in front of her, holding the rail and thinking what to say. Train, leave the station and I'm still thinking, What can I do? But at the same time, there were other people next to me and the guy next to me just says, Hey, Would you like to hear a joke? She wiped away her tears. She looked up and she said, Yeah, sure. That was brilliant. Brilliant. The guy said a job that I really wouldn't classify. It's really funny. But it did the job. She smiled. And inside escape. I think he didn't think that through. So I want to break the silence. And I said That was funny. Do you have other jokes? He looked at me and said, Uh, no. How about you? Do you have any deal? No. I said that 1/2. The next up came and the guy went down. There was a free space next to the lady. So I sat down. We chatted a bit and then one or two stops. It was my turn to go off the train. I went down and she was not crying anymore. Did you have problems go away? No, I don't think so. But when she got destructive? Yes. Is that a good thing? I think you see this. Why am I anyway, using this empty book? Why do I tell you all this? I don't want to encourage you and send you to talk to crying people That's a difficult thing. And I have just felt obligated in those cases. What I want to encourage you is to have a joke with you all the time. At least one. Because when you have nothing to say, you can always go like, Hey, here's a funny joke I heard last week. Or like in this case, Hey, would you like to hear a joke? Feel free to pick any job that you like telling other people. Here's my for example. Ah, Woman got suspicious about her husband and she calls him one day. Hey, are you home? Well, yeah. Where else could I beer There on the mixer. Mixer show. No problem. E. Oh, good. Few days past safety happens again. Are you home? Oh, yeah, sure. What else could I be? They're on the mixer. You? Oh, what? A few days pass again. And the woman goes home a bit earlier than usual. And what she sees there. You just heard a child. But her husband is not there. So she asks. Hey, where is your father? I don't know. He took the mixer and went out to terms. Now that joke is not super funny. But it does the work. Now, I'm curious to find out you're a joke. Please share with me and everybody who is interested in this course and writing down in the comments or in your review. 9. Unspoken words: Okay, you know what to say. But remember, it is not only important what you're saying, but how you are saying that sure words are important when you communicate with others. But many years ago, scientists conducted research. And guess what percentage goes toe words when it comes to communicating with others. What, you think 25% 37 So actually it's on Lee. 7%. That's it. And if this masterpiece it's 100 seven will go somewhere here and that only is what Onley these he Swartz So where the other 93% you would ask? Well, I'm glad you asked that to make one line over here, and that over here is 38%. These 38% goes voice and intonation and that big chunk over here, which is 55% This what the old ghosts to body language. In this chapter, I'll give the most important things you need to pay attention to first impression. The first impression will not happen when you start to talk to Maria. But when Maria sees you for the first time, so any time you're about to talk to somebody, watch out for those things hence really visible. Not behind the back, not in the pockets, not holding your purse. Keep your shoulders back. Their opening line. Your smile. It warms people up. Don't complicated too much when it comes towards. Researchers show that the most effective opening line is simply Hey, how are you? Or you can add your name and say, Hey, I'm Pablo. How are you doing? Let's get more detailed here. Shake hands, given eyes and for handshake, try to avoid sweaty hands and for a bigger impact at your other hand. Hence the morning. Integrate your hands, the more member will you become. Here are a few techniques. Anytime you mention a number, show with your hands 1 to 10. That's easy. All three of us went to the concert. Use your hands to measure what to talk about. We experience a really big growth. That was a small problem. We had a big problem. When you're talking about something emotional gesture in your heart area. That way, you're saying, Listen up, this is important to me. Every time was going back home, I was going out fishing with my dad, and I will always remember these early mornings. Use your hands for you, Me and weak, for example. So tomorrow you and I are going to meet here and we're going to pick Harry after that. Be careful with pointing. This is an aggressive gesture. Eye contact. I contact is very important during communication. It indicates that you're actually listening and very intention what the other person has to say because who wants to speak when nobody is listening to him? Don't answer this. That was a tricky question. No, While listening it is a conversation deep. You must try when you speak to somebody, you're smiling, You're making an eye contact and you're listening. Then when the other person stops talking, don't say anything, just not three times. This is called the Triple note and research to show that most people will continue talking after that. If you're in a group meeting and they're people chatting everywhere, who should you approach? If you see people facing each other with their toes align, they probably do not want anybody else in the conversation. You need to look for open positions like this one. Unless you're like me. He just smiled. You go there and say, Hey, how's it going and a big no no. When you were in group meetings. Do not take out your phone pretending you're texting just because you have nobody to talk to. Instead, do this. Take a drink. It always feels good to have something in your hands. Don't get kinky. Position yourself the accident point of a but what a buffet. For example, Where you're ordering at the bar, people have their stuff go out in a way, and then they're gonna be like, OK, OK, who should I talkto and then you're jumping with Hey, how are you? Hey, what are you drinking? Hey, it's my first time of they've been here. How about you? They will respond. And now we have a conversation. Try different questions. Usual questions that they're engaged in. Conversations are How do you know the host and house work? And really? Do you want to talk about work? Old time? Probably not here. Two different questions that you want to try. Question number one. What has been the best part of your week? Question number two. Are you working on any interesting projects at the moment? Try out these to see the difference. Conversations Fox across cultures and nations. This is universal the eyebrow raise. Dig into topics and look for the eyebrow raise. Because this will mean that your conversation is not just going and but okay, see what I mean exiting? Believe it or not, your last impression is as important as the first impression. You don't want to come across route or negative, so be careful with that. When you want to end of the conversation, try ships in the focus to the future. For example, you can say things like, Hey, what are your plans for the next weekend, the person will say something like, Oh, next weekend, I'm going skiing and then you add Well, it was nice meeting you. I wish you nice times, King remember, Only 7% is variable. The rest is nonverbal. So practice your nonverbal communication. 10. How to maintain the relationship: imagine you start going to the gym two times a week. Three months passed, and then you see some results. You're getting pumped, but then you see somebody who's been going every day for the same three months and you see the difference. It's the same with relationships. You cannot expect to have the same time of bond with somebody that you see once a year. But it's somebody your meeting two times a month or once a week. The solution. Arrange south of Thursday's or bi monthly wine Wednesdays. Make the 1st 8 if you have to. 11. Summary: So let's have a quick recap on what we just learned. Find your way to deal with rejections. Then find who are the right people for you. Remember the L A room? Look at yourself, then what? You're gonna speak to those people? Remember the every room. Second step. They are a version of you where to find those people. Look, the websites and the charity's we talked about earlier. Keep a joke in your pocket, practice your body language and maintain your relationship with regular meetings. It's actually really simple. Just follow these steps. 12. End: Congratulations on finishing the online course. Here is your certificates. What did I tell you at the beginning? You didn't need a certificate. It's Oh, here. You have in order to hear if you think you don't have it, rewards the course right now. And then this one final step, one final step that is vital for you. And that is to go there and practice everything that you learn. Because if you don't do that, if it keeps it on your couch, nothing's gonna change. Nothing is going to change. We need to go and practice. And once again, if there is a scenario but you're not sure about something you don't know what to do in a situation. Let me know. Let me know in the comments. I don't try to help you out. Okay, Go. Do now.