How To Influence People & Double Your Persuasion Skills | Alain W. | Skillshare

How To Influence People & Double Your Persuasion Skills

Alain W.

Play Speed
  • 0.5x
  • 1x (Normal)
  • 1.25x
  • 1.5x
  • 2x
17 Lessons (53m)
    • 1. Welcome

      2:15
    • 2. What is it?

      3:12
    • 3. How to use the power of SOCIAL PROOF to INFLUENCE people

      7:56
    • 4. What is it?

      2:06
    • 5. How to use the power of REASON EFFECT to INFLUENCE people

      3:06
    • 6. What is it?

      1:49
    • 7. How to use the power of CONSISTENCY EFFECT to INFLUENCE people

      4:33
    • 8. What is it?

      1:07
    • 9. How to use the power of ZEIGERNIK EFFECT to INFLUENCE people

      3:55
    • 10. What is it?

      2:43
    • 11. How to use the power of TALK ABOUT THEM EFFECT to INFLUENCE people

      2:45
    • 12. What is it?

      1:55
    • 13. How to use the power of HARD TO GET EFFECT to INFLUENCE people

      4:10
    • 14. What is it?

      0:41
    • 15. How to use the power of LARGE REQUEST EFFECT to INFLUENCE people

      4:01
    • 16. What is it?

      2:49
    • 17. How to use the power of RECIPROCITY EFFECT to INFLUENCE people

      4:20

About This Class

Learning to influence & persuade people will give you personal power over other people. This course will cover 9 powerful techniques you can use in your personal and professional life to get what you want in social situations.

How To Influence People & Get What You Want In Social Situations

  • Get more favors from people
  • Gain more power socially
  • Influence your customers to buy your products
  • Influence people in your personal life
  • Influence & persuade people in any social situation

Learn To Influence & Persuade People In Any Social Interaction

Why do you say yes to some people & no to others? How can you talk with more influence so you can get what you want? How can you persuade people to do something?

We will answer these questions in this course. Every one around you uses the power of influence to communicate. But at different levels. Some people know how to use it and they become socially successful & get what they want while other people struggle socially. But don't worry, with this course, you will become to the category of people who are socially successful.

Content & overview

You will learn the 9 most powerful techniques in persuasion & influence when dealing with people. You will learn how to increase your success rate when asking a question to someone (it will really make your life easier), you will learn how to get more favors from people (don't overuse it ;-), how to get people to be drawn towards you, how to be categorized as friendly even before you open your mouth (this technique is incredible), how to influence people so they will be super nice when you approach them, how to be great at social skills influence, how to get people to value you socially & how to connect faster with people!

Transcripts

1. Welcome: Let me ask you a question. Do you want to learn how to influence and saturate people? What if you could get what you want in any social direction? Imagine that you could pressure weight and entrance people. How would that improve your life? Most people are not aware off all the social power that they have. They could be socially successful, but they lack the influence. And that's why I created a complete course to exactly how to influence and persuade people . You will never again wonder what to do or say to influence people. You learn how can gain more power, social exactly how to and pestering people, how to be such a successful and so much more. I want you to master the art off, influencing people. That's why I've added bonus videos so you can get extra content. You can also access or donor discourse on your tablet or phone so can watch it anywhere you go. I've also added the out of action off schools. Certainly isn't new car on the train or anywhere else. There is a so a 30 day money back guarantee offered you didn't. So if you don't like it returning, learn how to incense anyone now. Are you ready? Let's go 2. What is it?: social proof so social proof in two cases. Now I just want to explain to you what social proof is and then why it's important. So there are two cases here. The 1st 1 is that if many people have experienced a product service or someone and delighted, there are higher chances that you like it, too, because it decreases your risk off the unknown. Let's take the example off Amazon. Let's say that you want to buy a book on Amazon, and then you find a book with one review, and then you find another book on the same subject. But with 500 reviews, I'm 99% true that you would buy the one with 500 reviews because in your mind, unconscious you say Okay, if our 500 people liked this book, it means that I must like to sew. It decreases your risk of the unknown, and now the second case is. If many people want it, you have higher chances off wanted. It's too. Let's say that, for example, you in a social situation, and there is someone that is always busy talking to everyone wants to talk to this person unconsciously. You will also want to talk to this person because you think that if many people are talking to this person, this person should be really interesting. So now let's illustrate that with examples, let's say here that you have the choice between these two restaurants here. Let's say that you arrive in a new city and then there are these two restaurants next door you can see on the left. There are many people. And then on the rights there is no one. And then I ask you this question wheat restaurant. And I'm sure that 99% of people which with the one on the left, Why? Because you can see here that are people eating. And if there are people eating, it means that it's popular. The food is good. You won't get sick. It means that be okay So you can see here that it decreases the uncertainty trying a new service or new place. So this is key here? No, let's take another example and starts to apply that with social skills. There is someone on the left here. There is a man on the left And then there is a man on the right you can choose the one you want on the right. If I ask this question, do you prefer to talk to the man on the left or on the right? I'm sure that 99% of people would say that they prefer to talk with the man on the right. Why? Because we think he is with people. So if he's with people, it means that he should be friendly, that he should drive a group of friends. So he should be interesting. He should have life going on for him. You can seek in the dark that just by being with other people, it means that he's already validated in the social world. Here, on the left, you can see this guy that is alone. You have no idea about him. So by approaching him, you take a great risk because you don't know if he's socially validated. You don't know if he's friendly there. So much uncertainty. So people prefer to talk with someone that around all the people here on the right, like on the right, rather than someone that is alone 3. How to use the power of SOCIAL PROOF to INFLUENCE people: Now let's discuss how can you apply it with social skits? Because that's our goal here. So the goal here is to show that people like you because if people like you knew, people should also like you. So if the people are around you and you see that you are in the group and people are friendly towards you, people around you that will be looking at it, we'll see that you already validated by other people and people are having a great time with you. So they should also have a great time of the approach. You and these is really incredible because people will approach you more easily if they see that they're up, all the people around you having a great time. But also, if many people want to talk to you, your social value will increase If you see that there are many people wanting to talk to you, the they are the people around will say, Oh my God, this is interesting. Everyone wants to talk to this guy. What's so special about our this man or this woman? So this person must be interesting. You can see here that now I will demonstrate exactly how you can apply this to principles here so that you can increase your social influence. So technique number one try to be intra gist two people. Instead of approaching on your own, you could approach people. If they don't know you, it's cold cold approaching. So let's take the example your approach to say, Hey, I Mark, how are you then? The person say, Hey, I'm Carol was nice to meet you. It works well. It works really well for a post like that, but I want to give you a technique that would increase your success rate and disease with social proof. If you are approached with the social proof factor, where it's what we called warm approach, warm approaches when someone already knows you. So imagine that your approach Hey, imagine that your friend approaches for you. Hi. I just wanted to introduce my friend Mark. He's a good friend of mine, and then you can say, Hey, I'm like how you and down the new person we can say Hi, I'm caress. Nice to meet you. You can see that here that you have a friend that's is introducing yourself. So it means that you are already social proofed because a friend recommends you, so you should be someone great. Because if your friend likes you, the new person should also like you. It's like the reviews on the Amazon books. So what you can do is that you can ask a friend to introduce you to the person to the people he knows all. You can also approach people by your own on your own and saying that, Hey, I'm, uh, Mark's friend or Hey, I'm a Carol's friend. Hey, I'm Stephanie's friend so that you are already social proof so that the person in front a few well, the more at ease comfortable because you are already social proof because your friends, because your friend or friends, recommend you. So this is something that you know that this person should be friendly. Okay, Now try to be with Friends and Otello. If you go to a place, it's better to be with friends than alone because it will increase your social proof factor and people like you, so you should be friendly. So it means that if you're in a group with people, it means that if people around you are with you It means that you should be friendly and you should have a great life. It means that you should have a great life if you are alone. People don't know and that they have this uncertainty. I use someone that is crazy. Are you tenderness? They really don't know. They don't know. So that's why it will be more difficult for them or even for you to approach people. If you are alone, you can do that. But that's more advanced. So that's why I recommend that when you go somewhere, go with friends, go with people that are around you so that people can see that you are someone that is normal. And that is somewhat it is already social proof. No, if you go somewhere alone. For example, when I you went to Australia and I was completely alone, I had no friends at the beginning because I lived there for six months. What you do is that you enter the social player, the social plates, and then you approach the most friendly group. So you just find the most friendly group there. You just go and you approach them and then you tell them that you want to meet new people and you challenge yourself to go out alone. And the think that is really great is that they will admire you for that. They will admire you for taking the reserve going out alone. But it can be that you wanted to go out with your friends, but they were not available. But if you just say, Hey, I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to come here and talk to new people that we love you for that. And they would welcome you for for that's so This is a great technique. And then when you have them, you use them as your new friend group. So then, now you have You have people that are around you because you just met them that night of that day. But you have now a new group of friends so that you can now go and approach all the people and then come back to you. Prevent? You're not anymore. Someone that is alone. You have new friends. You have a new group of friends. Okay, so diseases technique. That is really effective because you can use it everywhere. Just go in your approach, people. You befriend them and then this. These are your friends, okay? And now we can approach other people, and the other people will see that you have a group of friends and you're not some creepy person standing at the corner. Okay, Also, what you can do that you can share stories where you always friends instead of saying Yeah , most of the time I stay in my apartment with my cats watching TV shows. It's very to share stories where you are, where you were with your friends, but sympathies weekend, I went out with friends to have dinner, and then we did that, that that that that the goal here is to share stories where you were with your friends instead of alone at the beginning, off social interactions so that people can see Hey, he has friends. So he should be normal, because if you approach someone and then you don't talk about your friends are about all the people that are in your life, people will think that's weird because you will be someone that is not social proof. Then they don't know if your Danvers they don't know if your normal so they have all this uncertainty But if you show that you have friends and you have things going on in your life , people will be more comfortable talking to you. And then you would have muscle shot success. So your mission next time the joy in a social situation tried to be introduced, if possible. So try to find a friend that can introduce you to new people. Or you can approach new people saying that Hey, I'm marks friends okay, saying the name of the person and seeing who's who's friends, you are okay. Invite friends to go out with you instead of going out alone, invites friends to go out with you. And if you can't and you have to go out alone, you just approach the most friendly group there you befriend them and then use them as your new friends as a social proof. Their stories were you always your friends, so be aware and make the habits off, telling stories when you meet new people, their stories are you with your friends, or where you are with other people, so that you will be social proofed 4. What is it?: the reason. The reason. Effect. If we ask someone to do us a favor, we'll have a higher success rate. If we provide the reason, people simply like to have reasons for what they do. Now. Let's discuss that unless you industry that with an example. So there have been studies that have been made, and that's show that okay, so just wants the experiment. Someone arrived a delivery in the library, and there was a line to use the Xerox machine. So then the person arrived in front of the line and then asked, Excuse me, I have five pages. Can I use the terrors machine? The sexist rate waas 60% Now The person provided a reason with because And this person said , Excuse me, I have five pages. Can I use the Chirac's machine? Because I mean that rush and you can see here that the sexes rate was 94%. So you can see here that by just giving a reason because I am in a rush, the sexist rate increase by 34%. But what was really incredible is that the president also said, Excuse me, I have five pages. Can I use the sheriff's machine because I have to make some copies. He doesn't even make sense to go in front of the line and then say, Hey, can I use it? Because I have to make some copies and the success rate was 93%. So by just providing a reason with because you can see that it's work as well is there is the reason is valid, like I am in the rush rather than dressed some excuses because I have to make some copies. So it's not about the reason. Use that because I'm in a rush and because I have to make some copies. But it's because of the words, because 5. How to use the power of REASON EFFECT to INFLUENCE people: So now how can we apply that to social skis if you use the word because you will see that it will increase your success rate when you ask a question, let's pretend that you want to go to a restaurant with someone, and this person doesn't like restaurants very much. You have a higher chance of success if you ask. Do you want to go to a restaurant tonight? Because I really liked it or because I loved the food there. So if you provide a reason with because you will have a higher success rate than if you just say do you want to go to a restaurant tonight, the sexist rate would be 60%. And then, if you provide a reason, it will be 93%. So instead of saying Do you want to go to a restaurant tonight, you can say, Do you want to go to a restaurant tonight? Because I really like it because I love the food there because you don't have to cook tonight and you'll see that the success rate will be higher. I know the example. Instead of saying Hey, let's have let's hang out this weekend, which would be a 60% success rate. You can say, Hey, let's hang out this weekend because I know a great place to drink doctors. The success rate will be much higher if you provide the reason, so you can use that to almost every social situates in direction. If you ask a question, and if you want to treat your success rate, you just have to add because at the end and then give a reason. Let's say that, for example, I go to a nightclub and I want toe order a glass of water and here in suits around, they don't really like it to give the glass of water for free. So I can just go and say, Hey, can you give me a glass of water? Because I'm thirsty and the success rate will increase. So make the habits off, asking the question and using the word because and providing a reason because people really like it and the success rate will be increased. Another example. Hey, let's accent numbers because you seem like a friendly person. It will work much better. And then, hey, let's take sense numbers just by providing the reason here because you seem like a friendly person, it will dramatically increase your success rate. So your mission here is naked habits to use the word, because when you ask something to someone and you will see that it was skyrocket your success rate, though, think now about this. The questions that you asked yesterday, for example, did you ask a favor to someone yesterday or did you ask a question? For example, did you will invite your partner to go to a restaurant? And now try to take these examples that you use the question that you use and to add the reason? Because because you should really make a habit off asking the question with the because in the reason and you will see that it will really skyrocket your social skills. 6. What is it?: the consistency effect. Consistency is key. So what is the consistency effect? We want to be consistent without actions so that we can be on autopilot and save energy. So this is really powerful. For example, if I tell all my friends that I want to stop smoking, there is a higher sense off success because I want to be consistent with what I said. So, for example, if I tell them that and then in my mind I would say OK, I want to be consistent with the fact that I told my friends that I want to stop smoking because if I if course I will save more energy by just acting on autopilot and stop smoking than, for example, continue smoking and then I'll have all the social pressure off people telling me. Yeah, but you you said that you were going to stop smoking. And now you're not smoking. So just if you want to save energy and if you tell people something publicly or if you tell them you will tend toe, act on what you said because you want to save energy and you want to be consistent with what you said. Okay, on another example. If you tell if I tell you that I'm coming tomorrow, there is a high chance off me coming tomorrow because I want to be consistent with what I said. If I tell a friend Yeah, tomorrow I'm I'm coming to your place at 8 p.m. There is the higher chances off me going there at 8 p.m. Rather than dressing. Hey. Yeah, Maybe I'm coming tomorrow. I'm not really sure. So now let's see how you can really apply this consistency effect. 7. How to use the power of CONSISTENCY EFFECT to INFLUENCE people: you can approach with the consistency effect. And this is my favorite technique off all the techniques here in the schools, you can say, Hey, I just wanted to say hi because you look friendly, then the person we say, Oh, thank you. White works really well, Is that when you approach someone and then you frame the person as friendly with the consistency effect the Preston with an act as friendly because if you say hey, you look very friendly and then the person is an asshole to you. This person won't be following the consistency effect. So if you say hey, you look really friendly and then the person will act as friendly because the person wants to be consistent with what you said. This is really powerful. You can also try. Hey, I just wanted to say hi because you looked adventurous or because you look open minded. You can frame the qualities that you want in people by just using the consistency effect when you approach them by using the because you look friendly, it's really safe because most people will say Oh, thank you. Because no one wants toe appear unfriendly to people. There are cases where people will be on for not friendly to you. But it's, for example, if you are completely drunk or if you are really bad person off. If you're creepy at a networking event, then yes. But most of the time, if you're on a more personal approach, is because you look friendly 99% of the time, people will be really friendly towards you. So this is powerful because in their minds, the consistency effect will play a major role so that they can then that will be really friendly. You can also use that in the conversation so you can approach with that, which can also use that in a conversation, for example, by saying it's really great to meet someone who is friendly, bend the presidency. Oh, thank you. And then, as we discussed before, the person will act as friendly because you friended that way. And then the person wants to be consistent with what you said. So these techniques are really powerful, and you should use them only if it's generally because I'm not telling you hear approach, everyone resting that they look friendly if you don't think so. Okay. And even saying that? Yeah, You look really friendly, Like a good friend. If you don't think that's don't fake it. Okay, But I would just want to give you hear tool. It is an expression tools that you can use this consistency effect. You can discuss your future plans together instead of saying, Hey, let's hang out. In the future, you can discuss your future plans together. For example, on Thursday we can go toe this bar, displaced this restaurant at eight PM some school, then schedule it together because it is the consistency effect. You want to be consistent with the decision you made and with the commitments you made. So it would be much more successful if you really plan and discuss your future plans together. Because then the other person will have the plans to your future plans in their minds. And then they want to be consistent with that. And then they have higher senses off going to the to the event or the future place with you . Okay, so your mission today used the consistency effect in a social situation, so you can you can use one off the three techniques. You can, for example, approach someone with a consistency effect, saying that they look friendly or you can in the discussion you can seek and tell them that it's really great to meet someone that is friendly. Also, you should schedule your future plans with someone by being like by scheduling them and discussing them instead of dressing. Yeah, this week, let's let's go out or let's go to Disney Talking event can say Hey, okay. On Thursday, let's go to Disney for King events. Let's meet at 2 p.m. Then the person. We want to be consistent with what you said and waas what you agreed on. So this effect is really powerful. You should really use it, but also carefully, and it has to be generally. 8. What is it?: Let's discuss the dye Ganic effect. What is it? So there is a psychologist and the name is blue. My beginning. And this person found that people remember Uncompleted are interrupted Task better done completed tasks. Okay, so what does it mean? So this person made an experiment and this person realized that the waiters remember the order as long as the task is not completed When the write it down or type their frog, it'd so it means that when when the waiter will take the order this the waiter will remember the order as long as the task is uncle uncompleted when they go and then start preparing the drink that will forget the information. So this is something that we can use because people tend toe, remember more uncompleted task. So how can we use that in social ships when you approach someone 9. How to use the power of ZEIGERNIK EFFECT to INFLUENCE people: you can safe and the gold heater is to approach someone and then leave something on complete and completed in the conversation so you can approach. Hey, I just wanted to tell you something about yourself, but before I would like to introduce myself. And now the person is hooked because I want to tell you something about yourself. So the person is curious. Okay, But then instead of tearing immediately what you want to tell this person about himself, you see? But before I would like to introduce myself So you can see here that the task is uncompleted. You want to that there's something to the someone. But then just before getting that, you say another thing. So hi. I just wanted to tell you something about yourself, but before I would like to introduce myself. Hi, my name is Mark. Hi, my name is Ah, it is a bit Then you're the person will be hooked and we say, Hey, what did you want to tell me? And then you can see for example, high. You seem like a really friendly person. I really like that about you. You can see here that this way of approaching is more advanced, but it will work really well because you hooked the person. Okay? You started with something that is uncompleted. And then at the end, you gave the information. So this is a really high effort, give but a little bit more advanced social opener. You can also use it when you are talking to someone you can say. Hey, I just wanted to tell you something about yourself. The other person we see. What is it then? You can see. Maybe later. And then you can change topics so you can say maybe later. And then you can ask you Do you like this music? Now? This is more advanced, but this is reintroduced Powerful because the other person will spend the whole day night thinking about you and what you want to tell him. So remember, people will remember more uncompleted task desks. Okay? Safe. And the gold here is that. Why am I using? Hi. I just wanted to tell you something about yourself is that everyone wants to know what the other people think off them. So if you say Hey, I just want to tell you something about yourself. There people will be hooked at 99.9% of the time. Now, when should you reveal the What is it about yourself? So you can play a little bit? For example, in this case, you can change for example, topics once, maybe later. And then Do you like this music? Then the person will will answer. Then the person will ask you again. Okay? What is it that you want to tell me? And then you can reveal it for something that hey, I just saw that you were really friendly. Or you can start playing and then change topics again. But be careful. Don't use it too often because then it can be annoying. But if you just do that once or twice in any direction, you would see that you will really hook the other person. And the other person will really want to know what you want to. They're them. So this is incredibly powerful. So the structure again, I just wanted to tell you something about yourself, then a little bit. And you just say that you want you will reveal it a little bit later. And then you keep changing the topic by asking other questions. Then at the end, you make a compliment. You can say that. Hey, I really like how friendly you are. Oh, I just want to tell you that you look really friend. They will invest a lot of energy into you, and they will really like you. 10. What is it?: the joke about them effect. What is it if you talk about the benefits that people will get if we walk better than if you talk about your own benefits, I don't mention any. For example, let's take here the example off unicorns description. Let's say that what's written teeth. I created the schools because I love playing the guitar. I'm really passionate about it. By my course, you can see here that the person is only talking about himself is only talking about the things that they did. They're not looking at as Okay, what are the benefits that me the client will get? Now let's take the same ideas in discourse description, but right? Eat in terms of benefits for the other person. I treated the schools so that you can learn how to play the guitar. In less than three weeks, my passion will be so contentious that you won't be able to stop watching the videos. So you we learned really fast. You can see here that the ideas are the same. But in the first example, the course description is only written about about the person that created the course and then, with the second example, the course description is written in terms off benefits results that the clients will get at the end off the course. Let's take another example. Let's take a business description. Let's see that the roads We are on the market since 1999. I started with almost nothing, and now it's succeeded to create a great product. Last year we had a partnership with that. Our business is doing great and 99% of the websites off the business website. The heavy description like that they are only talking about themselves. Now let's take the same ideas and then let's write it again. But by talking about the clients benefits and results, our experience since 1999 will help us recommend the best product for you so that it can improve your life. Creating a great product from scratch told us many things that you can been officiate from , for example, that that that we are here to serve you. You can see here that the difference the ideas are the same. That one is reader in. This is what I did, and the other one is written in these other results that you get 11. How to use the power of TALK ABOUT THEM EFFECT to INFLUENCE people: now, how can you apply that with social skills? When you ask a question, ask a question by talking about the benefits off the other person instead of saying, Let's exchange numbers, you can say Let's exchange number so that I can show you the best place with tackles in the city. You will love it. And yes, you learned that this person offs tacos in the conversation. It will work much better in addressing Hey, let's exchange number because here you are providing a benefit off the person saying yes to the question. You can also say, Hey, let's exchange numbers so I can help you with that With your project, I can give you advice is on that you can see it's about talking about the benefits. So instead of asking this the simple question, you ask the question with the benefits and the results that people will get by saying yes to the question. Another example. Let's say that you want to ask someone. Do you want to go to the restaurant instead of just asking? Do you want to go to the restaurant? You can try. Do you want to go to the restaurant so you don't have to cook tonight. You can see here that the second option will really have a high success rate because you are providing the benefits off the person going to the restaurant with you. And when I started doing that by adding the benefits that the other person will get your success rate, your you will be really socially successful because then whatever you ask, if you provide the benefits or benefits a benefit or reason, I'll benefit the reason. But most importantly, the things that they will get for them, the benefits and the results that they would get it will dramatically increase your social skills. So your mission start asking questions by using the benefits that people will get from its . Instead of just asking the question, you asked the question, and then you add benefit, for example. Hey, do you want to go to the restaurant so you don't have to cook? Do you want to go to the restaurant so you can discover this new food? And you can do that with everything With everything you can make, you should make a habit off talking it about the benefits and the results that people will get is to do something with you, and if you do that, you would see that people skills will dramatically increase. 12. What is it?: they're hard to get effect. People will value something someone more if they don't get it him that easily. For example, let's say that you want to get a new ferry. Let's say that someone gives you a fairy or let's see that you save $1000 per month for the next 30 years. Which one will you value the most? The one that someone gave you. And you didn't have to invest a lot of energy and time to get it. Or if you save $1000 for the next 30 years to bite, which one will you value the most? And I'm sure that you answer is if I save $1000 for the next 30 years so you can see here that it's like the fairy spring hard to get so that toe get the furry, you must invest your time and energy into it. Another example. And this is something that I learned from my cats. You should give a string to a cat. He won't be interested in playing with it, because it was really easy to get it. The cat wanted to catch the string, but now, if you just give it to the give it to the cat. The cat won't be interested in The cat will leave. But now if you play with the stream the cat will go crazy about it because he wants to catch it. It s case the string is playing hard to get. So you can see here that there is a difference between because here the intention The cat wants to catch the stream. But if you just give the string like that to a cat, the cat won't be interested anymore. But if you play with the string, the cat will be crazy logic Because you are challenging the cats and the string here is spring displaying how to get 13. How to use the power of HARD TO GET EFFECT to INFLUENCE people: now, how can you apply it with social skills? First, your availability. If you seem less available, people will like you more. So I see so many people thing that they can be available when the other person wants. For example, they say, Sure, I'm available when you want, and in this case it's less. It's like giving the string to the cat. But you can try. Sure, let me check my calendar and get back to you is like you're playing with a string. It means that you have a life going on. You have passions, interests. You have things, you have a schedule. You you have things going on, so don't be too available. I'm not telling you. Yeah, but just tell people that you're not available. I'm just telling you that the way you tell people that you are variable is important. Don't say yeah, I'm available when you want because you're just giving the string to the cat. But say Yeah, I'm just going to check. I think on 30th could be great. Just going. Let me check my calendar. You see, it's is different. Have a challenging mindset. Adopt the challenging mindset remain. Remember the got a theory weight. If you challenge the gets to catch the string, the cat will be much more interested in you in the string rather that dressed, giving him the street and adopt the challenging mindset and the turnings in mindset come from's the adopt the buyer know the center mindset. So which is the buyer and the seller mindset? Let's say that you want to buy a new TV. Let's go to you Go to an electronic store and then you want to buy a TV. So you have the buyer, your approach to center and then you say Hey okay. I want to know how much is the TV? Ok, OK. How many colors are there? Okay, what is the resolution of this screen? Ok, interesting. Maybe I like it, But I also like this one here. You can see here. The bio mentality is you are trying to select the Chevy that you want and the seller mentality. He just want to sell. Okay, so he wants to Saturday city. It doesn't really matter which one it is he just want to send. And here in social situation that's the same. You will have someone that is trying to sell himself to the other person. Yeah, I'm greater. I'm some some money you can like. And the thing is that with that, if you try to sell yourself to the other person, you want to be challenging. But instead, if you add up the buyer mindset, it mean that yeah, I will have toe by this TV, but I'd like to see the resolution lets me have a local. So this one is great. If you have this mindset, you will be will be. Hey, you look like a cool person. And then you would start screening someone for the qualities that you want or, for example, the quantities off Example the benefits that you will get it. This person enters your business. Or, for example, if this person enters your life other romantic partner. Because if you tend your mindset to the buyer mindset, you would see that you will be more challenging. And if you are more challenging, it's it's the hard to get effect. So if you have any questions about that, you can dress right out in the discussion board. So you mission socially. Do you play with a string or give the string directly. When I started, I asked myself this question, and I saw that most of the time I was giving the string directly. So now that you are rare, if you give the string directly, try to find ways to play with the strength so it can be with your arrival availability. It can be with the challenging might set sweetening that being the buyer, not the seller, I can do with our any other technique that you can come upon your old. So if you have any questions, don't hesitate to pose them in the discussion board. 14. What is it?: the similarity effect. We tend to like people more who are like us. So if we have toe, ask five doors in a train station will asked someone who looks like us. There have been studies that have been made and that shows that relax. If you have to ask something to someone, you want to ask something to someone that is like you because this person can understand you better. For example, if you have tow, ask $5. So in socially directions, people tend to like all the people more if they like them, So how can you use thes effects at your advantage? 15. How to use the power of LARGE REQUEST EFFECT to INFLUENCE people: you can apply. It's by mirroring the behaviour. You can see here that the behavior, the body language off this person and dispensing here it's seen Are this one here too? This person and dispassion too dispersed in here. The army here there are this year. There are exactly so what you can do in social interaction that at the beginning you don't do anything. But then when you start getting comfortable with the person, if you see that is for example, this man here is sitting like that and I am the person here. I will dressed copy his body language so slowly I will put my arm here and there. Now I will continue Toki and then slowly we cross my legs like that. What will happen is that this person here we say all but this is a unconsciously dispersed and say, Hey, this is interesting because discretion here has the same body language as me. So there should be something going on. So it means that this person is like me. And if the person says, Oh, this person is like me, the person we like you more with the similarity effect. So it is something that you can do. Don't do it too fast. For example, here, if this person changes the body language to mirror this person here and you do it really quickly by putting the hand here and then crossing the legs, it can seems a little bit strange. But if you do it slowly over the conversation, you would see that you will connect faster with people. You can use their language, try to identify their own language and use them in the conversation. Let's say that someone uses the word amazing or any other word, and you identify it. What you can do, that you can use this word in the conversation, and then the other person will unconsciously like you more because the person see you. But this person is is like me. Dispersal has the same language as me, and this is really powerful, but don't use it too often. For example, if you see that someone uses the word amazing a lot, don't say they were amazing 15 times, because then it will seem weird. But if you is it just a few times in the conversation, people will connect with you faster, so it's important to identify the word that they used in the conversation here. I just want to tell you something. Don't adapt who you are to be like the other person and try to be like him. Don't try to adapt who you are. Yourself to the other person, for example, trying to change the way you talk, trying to change the way you act your body language. You should be yourself, But then just use these techniques the one with the mirroring technique and the one with the language technique. You should use this technique toe. Connect faster with people, and it should just be a small taking that you are using your not changing who you are and your way your way off behaving. You're just using these two techniques as a way off expression as a way to connect faster with people. So your mission today try to mirror someone with their body language and see how they react and use the words once in the conversation. So remember when you are comfortable with someone, you can mirror their body language. It falls into the crossing arms. You can course arms. If crossing the legs, you can cross the legs in the same direction. You do it slowly in the conversation and you will see that you will connect faster with them. Also, you should identify the words that they use many times, so you should also use the worst once in the conversation. 16. What is it?: the reciprocity effect. When you do a favor to someone or give something to someone, the reciprocity low says that you should give it back. So there was a study that was made by your university professor. What he did is that he sent Christmas cards to 100 people. He didn't know, So he just send them. Hey, I wish you merry Christmas. I hope everything will be great next year. Blah, blah, blah, blah. But he just votes cars, greeting cards to people he didn't know. And then what's really interesting is that 90 people 90% of people wrote back to him saying that Oh, Mayor Christmas to even if they didn't know that, Professor. So we can see here that this effect here the reciprocity effect is really powerful. It shows if you do a favor to someone, I'll give something to someone. The reciprocity is low. Said that you should give it back. I know the example fund raises in the US They did what they did it, that the approach people on the streets and gave them roses at the gift. This is for you. You can keep it. That's what they were telling people. And then there's money for the charity. And what? Forcing 20 bodies that their results increased by 60% because of the reciprocity low. Because if someone gives me a flower like Oh my God, he gave me something so I should give something back to him. And in this case is money for the charity. And this is incredible. The report was Super City low works incredibly well. And I'm sure that it also happened to you that a friend did a favor off someone gave you something and then you want to give something else to the other person. White works because back in the days, if you don't give back and you were in the tribe, let's imagine that you want to try 1000 and 1000 of years ago and someone gives you food and then you don't give back and you are selfish. You are safe expression. Your tribe will kick you out of the tribe So you don't want to that you want to stay in the tribes. If someone gives you food, then you want to give something back to the person that gave you something. And nowadays it's stealing, drinking our brains. So that's why when someone gives you something, I'll do you a favor. The expect you to give something back, and that's why the real, pretty prosecutable works. 17. How to use the power of RECIPROCITY EFFECT to INFLUENCE people: now, how can you apply it with social skills? Be generous and not selfish. The more you give, the more you will receive in return. Don't be someone who waits to receive to keep. Don't be someone who waits that people invite you to parties so you can invite them to yours. Don't be someone who waits that the other person based the first round. Instead, your goal here is to give without expecting something in return. So invite people to your party's. So then they will invite you to theirs. Is the reciprocity low? Be the first round? So then they will pay the next round's help your friends, So then they will help you later. Be generous so that people will be generous to. You can see here by giving without expecting something in return by the by the reciprocity low the real give you give you something back. Okay? And sometimes when they will give you something back when when the wheel returned the favor are giving something back, the value will be greater done. The value that you gave them because they really want to pay back this debt. Dis that's with a rich Prasetyo because they have that in the brain that if they don't, that they will be considered a selfish in that can be kicked out of the tribe. So be generous without expecting something in return. Why, without expecting something in return? Because if you do something because you want something in return after, let's say that, for example, you just to do something, then you expect your the person to give you something back. It will be a little bit weird if the other person don't do that because it works. I would say 90% of the situations, but I don't want you to be always expecting something back. But you know that if you give without expecting something in return, you buy a 99 90% of the time you will get something in return off creative value. So, in social skills, be really generous with people that I interacting with you and you will see that then they will give you back. Now, be careful if you see your friends that there are value secure. For example, if you see that's for example, you play you pay the first round or you had to friends and you see that they don't give anything back to you. Now there are two options here. You can change your friends and find friends that are not really selfish, or you can give a little bit less. You can give it a little bit less value. Do less favors, for example, Payless Rounds or any other things that you offered them. Now it's really your coat to decide. But just be aware that there will be people, and I wish they would say, like, 10% off them. That will be value secrets that would just take and us give back. So then you should decide That's your call to decide what you want to do with his friends, maybe give a little bit less and give more toe toe your friends that are more generous. It'll depends. It's really your coat. So today your mission, give or do something to someone without expecting something In return Foreign Center. You can offer a coffee to your colleagues, and then you would see that if you offer computer connects yeah, you a 90% sure that the next day or in the next hour, the offer offer you a coffee. It can be something really small as that. And you would see that you will be more socially successful because people would see that you are generous because you were the 1st 1 to give. And then by the reciprocity low people will also give you something back. And you will see that if you do that with the show such skills. You invite people to parties, you pay rounds, you offer coffees, you give them value. U u have them with something. They will help you back. And you will see that it will exponentially entries, your social skills and your social life If you do, if you use the reciprocity low.