How To Be More Confident - 13 Ideas For Becoming Unstoppable! | Derek Franklin | Skillshare

How To Be More Confident - 13 Ideas For Becoming Unstoppable!

Derek Franklin, Teaches Crazy Good Courses You Will Love!

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28 Lessons (2h 23m)
    • 1. Promo

      2:09
    • 2. Welcome How To Use This Course

      6:06
    • 3. The Benefits Of Being Confident And Unstoppable

      10:07
    • 4. Mindset Overview

      0:52
    • 5. The Force That Feeds Confidence

      2:08
    • 6. The Stage Before Mastery

      1:46
    • 7. Being OK With What?!?

      2:29
    • 8. The Power Of Something You Use Every Day

      1:43
    • 9. What It REALLY Takes To Build Your Confidence Muscle

      3:27
    • 10. Adopting Henry Ford's Unstoppable Mindset

      2:07
    • 11. Generating Success Momentum

      3:23
    • 12. Wear The 'Uniform'

      4:52
    • 13. The 'Myth' Of What Other People Think Of You

      3:55
    • 14. Break Through Your Fear Barriers And Have Some Fun

      13:34
    • 15. The Simple And Predictable Path To Personal Power

      1:24
    • 16. Raising Your Confidence 'Thermostat'

      1:22
    • 17. Instantly Shift Your Focus From Failing To Winning!

      4:26
    • 18. Think Small In Order To Leap BIG

      9:52
    • 19. Build A Record Of Your Awesomeness

      6:08
    • 20. Rehearse THIS To Win At THAT

      6:57
    • 21. Slow Down The Disruptive Speed Of Anxiety

      7:48
    • 22. Identify And Eliminate Confidence 'Kryptonite'

      8:43
    • 23. Tune Into And Adjust Your Powerhouse

      5:18
    • 24. Tap Into The Rocket Fuel For Unstoppable Confidence

      6:55
    • 25. Get Rid Of These Negative Rituals

      5:42
    • 26. Use The Incredible Confidence Generator Sitting Right Under Your Nose

      12:15
    • 27. Practice This Simple 2-Minute Exercise To Unleash Your Inner Beast

      5:21
    • 28. Thank You

      1:46

About This Class

Develop the ability to break through your fears, stand out in life, and get what you want.

  • Contribute your unique knowledge, skills, and talents to the world
  • Get more of what you want
  • Experience more fun and freedom
  • Become more attractive to others
  • Have a greater influence on others
  • Feel more positive emotions like joy, happiness, and satisfaction
  • Become a force for making your dreams a reality
  • Destroy stress and take control of what happens in your life
  • Become a positive role model for your kids, co-workers, or tribe
  • Believe in your ability to be a force for change and influence

Transcripts

1. Promo: Hi. My name is Derrick Franklin, and this is a course about confidence and how to think, feel and be unstoppable. Imagine for a minute that instead of always feeling fear, what could go wrong in life, you get excited and feel satisfaction what you just made happen. Or instead of worrying about what others think of you of what you say or what you do, you speak up and share your ideas. Your believes in your stories, and people love you for it. Or instead of holding back rarely doing anything beyond what's comfortable. You rocked the world by sharing your knowledge or skills or talents in a way that changes people's lives. This can be you. This could be your reality that I want to teach you how in this course we're going to unpack a lot of practical ideas and strategies that you get using right away to become unstoppable. You learn a simple way to instantly shift your mindset from failing to winning. In virtually any situation. I'll show you a quick two minute exercise to change your body's internal chemistry in a way that destroy stress and ignites your personal power, and you'll discover powerful confidence generators sitting right underneath your nose. You already know how to use it, but not in the way I'm going to show you. And this is just a small sample of the great content that you used to develop the ability to break your fears, stand out in life and get what you want. This course is visual discourse, simple and concise, and this course delivers. So watch the preview video below. And when you're ready to change your life, join the course and discover how to think, feel and be unstoppable starting today. Thanks for watching. And I'll see you on the outside. 2. Welcome How To Use This Course: welcome to this course on confidence again. My name is Derrick Franklin and I really appreciate you taking the time and investing your resource is your money to take this course and it's my intention to give you the absolute best value that I can. Here's how I intend to do that. For one, this is a no fluff course. I'm not going to share with you a bunch of junk that you don't need to hear. That is really not important to learning confidence. We're gonna focus in on the 20% of the strategies and ideas and mindsets that you need to have in order to get 80% of the results that you're going tohave when it comes to confidence. This is going to enable you to implement to put these things into action and along those lines as faras implementation. I'm not just here to share with you great ideas, great strategies and hopefully entertain you along the way. That's not my Onley goal. None of the stuff really matters. Unless you implemented that you use it in your life on an ongoing basis that these ideas and these strategies become habits of yours. And so My intention is not only to cut the fluff, but to give you exact, specific ways that you can take what I'm teaching you and put it into action in your life So you can start seeing results. You start feeling confidence sees, start noticing that your confidence level is really drastically changing from what it used to be. And then I know that you've gotten value and so providing that value is very, very important to me. And one of the ways that I'm going to do this is through a workbook. I put together this 14 page workbook on the course itself and all the content within the course. And I just want to share with you quickly the content itself, how to use it and how to get the most from it. As I mentioned, this is a pdf Documents. You have two different elements within this. This workbook one is thier reference page, which you're looking at right now. These are all the elements that were going to be talking about within the course itself. So there are 14. I'm sorry. 13 action steps over here. There are some mindset stuff. Each one of these are a video and we're going to be looking at each one of these. And then when it comes to the action items, each of those have been broken down into a lesson sheet. So each lesson within the video, which is an action, something you need to do will discuss the idea right here. We'll discuss the ideal share with you some interesting quotes, some thoughts, some ways to do that particular action. And then I'm going to show you how to implement the action in your life, using a very interesting concept called implementation intention, which is this idea. I call it intentional planning, and it's based on this concept of events, and when you do something, you're going to take this action. So when in this particular case, when I enter a situation that has a significant outcome, you'll see that that's the wind part of the implementation that we're gonna be talking about and let me scroll over here. When I enter a situation, that's the event. Then I will practice this strategy. That's the implementation process that I'm going to share with you throughout the course. So you're gonna learn how to tie these actions. These habits to things that you're already doing, so that the trigger you using the things that I'm teaching you, I'm also going to share with you challenges 7 to 30 day challenges that will help you to put these ideas into practice as well. And as I mentioned, there are 13 of these lesson sheets. I'll just quickly scroll through these lessons sheets so you can take a look at them. And as you go through these, I would highly recommend that you print out this particular workbook. I've made it black and white, largely so that it's easier and cheaper to print it out. So you don't not pain for a lot of color ink expenses, which could be ridiculous. So just print this out, and as you go through it, you'll have this as a reference that you can always look at. Keep it your deaths. Look at it regularly posted on a on a bulletin board, whatever you may want to put it. But the reference sheet is a collection of all the ideas on one page, and then as you go through the course, and as we talked about each action item, each lesson item, then print up that lesson sheet, and if there are things that are that are discussed that aren't on the sheet itself, then write those in as your own notes, so you can have those as reference later. So that is the basic process of that. We're gonna go through as we go through this course and I give you these ideas. And when it comes to implementation, in addition to the strategy that I share with you on each lesson, which I'm going to share with you as we talk about each action item, I'm gonna give you specific ways to implement it. But because there are 13 different action items here, 13 different action lessons, it's not good to go about doing trying to perfect all 13 of them at the same time. So I'm gonna recommend that you pick one. That seems to be maybe your weakest link as you go through the course and you've gone through it all, pick one of the action lessons and one that represents something that you really think you need the most work on and most help improving and just simply focus in on the it way to implement that. That I share with you and improving that before you move on to the next item. You don't want to do all of it at once because that will overwhelm you. And you just will end up doing nothing. So pick one item, work on that and do it for it least 7 to 30 days to really master it to get good at it and see the impact and that will that will give you motivation to do the next item and the next item on the next item. Thanks again. I really appreciate your investment in time, energy and resource is and let's get started. 3. The Benefits Of Being Confident And Unstoppable: So let's begin this journey of becoming a more confident person by getting motivated, excited and energized about learning to become confident person and all the reasons why is going to make you a better person. It's going to impact what you do if you put it into practice. So this is all about why confidence is so awesome and I'm gonna share with you seven main reasons. There are all kinds of reasons, but I'm sure with you seven specific main reasons why, I think being a confident person, it's such a great thing and why you're going to find massive value in this course. So it's going to jump right in and the 1st 1 is contribution. And what I mean by contribution is that you as an individual, you have unique knowledge. You have unique experience. You have unique skills that you can use in service of others. And when you are a confident person, that gives you the power to make use of those skills, that knowledge, that experience, to help others to add value to the people around you, the world around you. If you don't have confidence, you keep all those valuable things that you have to share to yourself. And you might be thinking, Well, I don't have anything major to share with the world around me. Well, that might be a sign of lack of confidence, because imagine what the world would be like if Steve Jobs didn't have confidence to share his vision of technology or Bill Gates or anyone else that you admire. If they didn't have the confidence to take what they know, their knowledge, their skills, their experience and share it with the world, the world would have missed out on that. And so because they had the confidence Toe act, they were able to contribute something amazing. And we're all benefiting from it. And that could be you through your contribution. By becoming a more confident person, ensuring what you are and what you know, next one is success. You know Thomas Edison. He once said that if we all did the things that we're capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. And so what he was a sane, I think, is that we all have these amazing dreams. We have all these things that we envision in our lives that we want to do. But Sometimes we just don't think that we're capable of doing them, and so we don't even try. But what Thomas Edison was letting us know is that when you take a chance and you realize how capable you are of doing some amazing things and you become a force for making a reality, virtually anything that you want to achieve when you realize that it's within your ability because of your ability to act and act with confidence, that will astound you. If you do it, you're going to step out of your comfort zone a little bit to do it. But if you do it, it will literally blow your mind. And that is one of the benefits of achieving success in whatever you want to achieve. But you have to do it next. One is trust and influence, and when you think about it, you have the ability to influence other people and with your words with your ideas and when you are a confident person and you're able to convey your ideas and convey your words in a very confident, clear, concise way. People respect that people will trust you, Ah, whole lot more when you have that ability. When you learn that ability, and when you have people's trust and they allow you to influence them, then you can start adding massive value to their lives. That's where real joy and satisfaction comes from. But there's a barrier there if you present ideas and your your ideas your words in a way that is very kind of weak. And it's kind like, Well, you know, you might like this or you might do this and you're kind of apprehensive. You're not gonna have the same impact on other people as you would if you were certain and you acted with that massive confidence. So trust and influence if you are in a place in your life where you want to really have a great impact on other people, trust in an influence which comes from confidence. That's what you're going to get from developing the skill. Next one is positive emotion. So when you are a confident person and you do things that come as a result of being a confident person that generates positive emotion inside of you and you feel joy, you feel happiness. You feel satisfaction because you are doing things, and those things that you're doing are having an impact. You're seeing results, and that's a lot of fun. That's amazing to see. And if you are at a lack of feeling positive emotions for any reason, then this is one way to boost your ability to experience that on a regular, ongoing basis by being a confident person and going back to contribution and sharing who you are, what you know, your experience, your skills, and seeing the impact that's gonna have that's gonna build and generate thes positive emotions inside of you, which is what we all want. We want a sense of happiness and satisfaction. The next one is fun and enjoyment. So Joe Nemeth he had a great quote. Once he said, Joe Nemeth, in case you don't know who he is, he was a professional football player, very, very famous professional football player from decades ago, he said. When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun, and when you have a lot of fun, you do amazing things. And what I think he was trying to say is that when you're willing to step outside of your comfort zone and you're willing to kind of experiment with life, try new things. It makes life more fun and enjoyable because you're just trying things that maybe you've never tried before. Maybe no one else has ever tried before. And that's never boring. You're experimenting. You're trying different ways of interacting with the world because you're not concerned about how you're gonna look what you're gonna say, whether or not you sound stupid because you have confidence. And when you do that, when you experiment with life, that's when some of the best results that people have achieved throughout history, where those come from, there are ripple effects that come from experimenting, trying different things. And when you have those ripple effects over time, those end up creating and you discover amazing things that would have never been discovered before if you had just kind of stayed within the realm of what's accepted, and you always did what everyone else does. Confidence gives you the desire, the ability to do something different. And that's when amazing things happen. The next one is freedom and abundance. And ah, person, by the name of a nation in once said that life shrinks or expands in proportion. Toe one's courage. And this kind of goes back to the previous thing about front fun and enjoyment. And what I believe in a sin in was trying to say is that when you have confidence and this is part of who you are and you just act this way on an ongoing basis, because it's a character trait that you have, then when you have confidence, life feels more full, it feels more free and expansive, and you don't feel depressed. You know, you don't feel like keeping who you are inside because you have the desire. You have the power in the and the ability to share amazing things with the world around you and you're expressing yourself. And when you express yourself, you don't feel that sense of the world's closing in on you. But you feel full. You feel free, you feel expansive, and that's what confidence enables you to achieve is this sense of freedom and abundance and finally attractiveness? Blake Lively, who I believe has the authority to speak on the subject, said that the most beautiful thing that you can wear is confidence. What this means is that more important than natural beauty or close for both men and women . These air things that most people get tied up in when it comes to being more attractive person and somebody who comes across as a beautiful person. You know, we all have want to have a good self image about ourselves. But it's easy to get caught up in the idea that that comes from external beauty, our clothing, whatever we may use on the outside. But really, when you think about it, confidence is positive energy that you radiate others. So when you're radiating this positive energy to others, what effect does that have? Well, that ignites positive emotion in them, And so they start to see you as this source of positive emotion that they can feel inside themselves. And that, really, is what attractiveness is. So when it comes to being attractive and just being self confident and having a good self image of yourself, the impact, the positive emotional impact that you can have on others by the confidence that you radiate cannot be matched by anything physicals anything with your eyes. So those air seven reasons. There are many more, but seven main reasons why confidence is so awesome. So now that your engine is revved up, you're ready to go, you're motivated. Let's dig into the course 4. Mindset Overview: so to begin, Let's talk about mindset. What is mindset? Well, these are a set of 10 ideas, truths, principles. Let me zoom out here. 10 ideas, truths, principles On the left hand side of the reference sheet here that should shaped your thinking going into this course and learning how to be a more confident person. And so these relate to the actual action steps that you're going to learn throughout the course. But they also represent the kind of thinking the ways that you want to view what you're doing, the things I'm going to teach you and how you start, need to start having this kind of perspective and approach to life in general in order to achieve your goal of becoming a more confident person. So let's dig in and start looking at each of these 10 mindset items. 5. The Force That Feeds Confidence: so mind said number one is that action feeds confidence. What's this mean? Well, when you think about your ability to show confidence in life, what typically stands in your way, it's fear. And you could think of fear as mountains or the fears that you have in your life as mountains. And you're driving along in your car in your journey of life. And if you are very low energy and you don't have a lot of power to you, then guess what. When you reach one of these mountains of fear and anxiety, you're gonna look at that mountain. You're gonna think I don't have the power, the energy to get over that mountain. I don't. And so you're going to either turn around or you just gonna stop right where you are because you don't believe you have the the force the power to overcome that obstacle, which is looks like a mountain. Sometimes that's what those fears, and of acting confidently and doing things of confidence, really look like sometimes. And so action changes this because action taking an act, taking action and being a person who takes action on a regular basis, high energy doing things accomplishing things. When you are like that, it's almost a ziff. You put rocket fuel in your car and when you get to one of these fears in life that seem overwhelming and that seemed like huge mountains you realize you know what? I've been moving through life pretty fast because I'm an action taker. I create things, I do things and you get to that mountain. You think that mountain is an obstacle? I see it. But you know what? I have the power to overcome it because you have built up momentum through being an action taker. And so one of the things I'm going to show you in this course is how to ramp up your energy , how to increase your ability to take action and so that you have more power to break through these fears when you reach them. So the main idea is you want to be a person who creates, makes and does things 6. The Stage Before Mastery: mindset Number two is that faking it leads to becoming it. Now, another way that's commonly put is that fake it until you make it So what does this mean? Well, oftentimes what people want to do and you may be like this and we are all like this to some degree at some point. And that is before we actually start doing something with the tools that we learned that the strategies that we learn we want to kind of gather in all this information. We want to master it. We want a process that we want to take it all in and we want to achieve mastery. And then we think, Okay, once I achieve mastery, then I will do something with what I've learned. But that's backward. What you want to do is fake it. You want to act now, before you think you have the abilities, you want to start taking action on a consistent basis basis using these strategies, principles. And as you do what happens is that you start to feel what it's like to be this kind of person. This confident person, you start making mistakes. Yes, Making mistakes is part of the growing process. You learn what works. What doesn't that experience the experience of doing and getting feedback from whatever results you get? That is one of the best teachers, and that's going to help you to progressively improve over time. That's going to help you to achieve the mastery that you want. But it all comes through experience taking action, faking it, acting like you're confident person before you actually are. So don't wait to achieve mastery. Start putting these principles and ideas into action right away. 7. Being OK With What?!?: mindset eight is being wrong is okay. And this is a major mind shift for a lot of people. Being wrong is okay, especially when it comes to being confident because there's this misconception that being confident means that you never make a mistake. And if you do, you don't tell people you can't let them know that you're actually human and that you make mistakes. And so what people do is they say, Well, you know, I I can't make a mistake. And so they don't even try because they don't want to fail. They don't want to make a mistake. They think that that is a sign of weakness if you make a mistake as an even bigger sign of weakness, if you make a mistake and other people find out about it. But that's totally wrong when it comes to confidence. And what I'm gonna teach you here is that you want to make mistakes. You want to get out and try new things. You want to stick your neck out. You want to be fearless in the sense that you're willing to try something that makes you uncomfortable. You don't know, necessarily know how it's going to turn out. You have an idea, but you're willing to try, and you're willing to do it wrong because you know that that's going to be valuable experience that's going to help you to get better and become more confident over time. And so you want to be okay with making mistakes. And when you make those mistakes, own them. Say, Yep, I tried it and it didn't work. I'm okay with that. I was wrong. I did this wrong. I said that wrong. I look stupid. I shouldn't have said that. You know, I'm not talking about reckless foolishness here. I'm talking about being willing to try something that you think is gonna turn out great and being okay with the fact that you may flub up. You may do it wrong and then making those mistakes and then owning them. And so I want you to really grasp this idea and soak it in that being a wrong being wrong, knowing that you're wrong is okay. Being a failure is this part of life. And to try to hide that and to try to say I never make mistakes, that's actually insecurity. So you gotta let go that let go that idea completely and learn to be okay with being wrong . That's the right mindset to have if you really want to become a confident person. 8. The Power Of Something You Use Every Day: third mindset that you really want to adopt is that your words have immense power, and this may seem strange for a course on confidence that your words conduce much of anything, but they really do have immense power, and they affect you in a couple of ways that you can really put to Good use in your everyday life, for your habits is I'm gonna show you in this course. But one of the ways that words have immense power is they can one point you to your power. They can help you to focus in on your abilities. Your resource is the positives. When you say things and say them out loud, they can really shift your perspective almost instantaneously to the point where if you felt like you were going to go into a situation and lose, if you use your words properly, you can look at that same situation and in an instant, change it to the point where you're looking at how you can win. And once you're able to shift your focus and your perspective that way, using your words, you're going to be able to enter those situations with a lot more confidence So that's one way words can affect you. The other way is that when words are set out loud, when you say things out loud with your own voice and with emotion, they give you power. They affect you internally. And once you're affected internally, you have this. A motivation to get this excitement because of words that you say out loud is I'm gonna show you in this course that power, that excitement, that motivation is going to drive you to do the things that you want to do to have the confidence to do things that may have scared you before. But simply by using your words and saying them out loud is going to build that power and energy inside of you and generate the motivation takes to take action. 9. What It REALLY Takes To Build Your Confidence Muscle: The six mindset is that you are building a muscle when it comes to growing your confidence . You're building a muscle. So think of it like that when you have a weak muscle or weak muscles, maybe you haven't worked out for a while. And you think Well, okay, I've got to improve my muscles. I gotta I gotta become stronger. You realize that this doesn't happen overnight. You have weak muscles, and it takes time to slowly build them up. And in the process of building them up, it's not gonna be always easy. You know, you're doing the right thing, you know, you're doing something good, and that's great. That's motivation to to do it. But it's not gonna be easy. It's going to cause a little bit of pain. You're going to go through some discomfort to get there. But you know that if you keep working out your physical body, if you're building your muscle, that eventually gonna get to the point where you're starting to see some results. Building your confidence is the same way. If you feel weak and insecure right now and you don't feel like a very confident person, it's gonna take time I'm gonna ask you to do things that you might find uncomfortable, a little bit or very uncomfortable. They're not hard things to do, really. But they are going to make you feel uncomfortable. But you gotta understand that that discomfort is part of the process. A lot of people, when they set out to change and become a better person, they get to that point where they feel the discomfort and they tell themselves Well, they say, I'm trying to do something good here and I'm feeling discomfort. I'm feeling paying a little bit here and they start reasoning to themselves and they say, You know, I'm doing something good. I should feel good about doing this. And if I'm feeling bad and from feeling discomfort than either I'm doing it wrong or I'm just not built for this And so they give up. That's not how it works when you want to become better than you are now, if you want to grow, there's, You know, we've all experienced growing pains. When we were physically moving from adolescence to adulthood, we felt growing pains. Confidence is no different when you're growing from a person that doesn't have a lot of confidence to a person with confidence. It's going to take some pain. It's gonna take some discomfort, but you can push through it and realize that over time you'll get there. But here's the key consistency. Consistency is the key. So when it comes to practice seeing these things that I'm going to share with you, it's not gonna do you any good. If you do it one day than skip a week and then go and do it another day or two days and then skip another 34 days and then pick it up again and skipped two weeks, that never is useful in the growth process. Consistency. Doing it day in, day out every single day. You might miss one day every once in a while. That's life. That's reality. But you can't miss multiple days, especially multiple times. Consistency is the key, your building, your confidence muscle. If you do this, you have the patience to stick it out. Until that, you get to the point where you want to be and understand that there's going to be discomfort and you stick with it on a consistent basis. You'll start to see results 10. Adopting Henry Ford's Unstoppable Mindset: fourth mindset that you want to adopt is that you are as powerful as you think, and Henry Ford had a great quote that really captured the essence of this idea, he said. If you think you can do a thing or you think you can't do a thing, you are right. What was he trying to convey? Well, I think he was essentially saying that often times people and you may be one of these that when it comes to achieving great things in life and becoming, in this case, a confident person, it's easy to believe that it just might not be within me to do that. You know, I wasn't born with the same genetics as this guy. I wasn't born with the same family. Circumstances is that girl, and they are confident they're successful. But I wasn't given those kinds of benefits, and as a result, I'll never be able to achieve or do or be the kind of people that they are. But that's not the way it works. It's not circumstances that create your results. It's not the things that you've had to deal with growing up your genetics, your family life, that is going to lead to the result you get in the future. What's going to change and what's going to need to change in order to get those results is your thinking, and you really have to buy into that. Believe that that's the point of this mindset is that you are as powerful as you think. You have to believe that because in order to move forward and let go of any kind of excuse is that you might be holding onto as far as becoming a confident person, thinking you can't do it. Those excuses have to die. Those have to be put behind you and you have to accept responsibility and in a good way, accept the fact that it is within your power to become a confident person by changing the way you think, not your circumstances, changing the way you think, and we'll show you how to do that with some great exercises that really get you into the mode of believing that you could be a confident person 11. Generating Success Momentum: So, mindset number seven is that small actions create momentum. Very important idea in principle and mindset. Toe have going into building your confidence because, as it says here, becoming confident will be easier if you focus on making small, doable changes instead of big and overwhelming changes. So that's what we're gonna focus in on this course is how to do our make these small, doable changes that will compound over time to create the result that you're looking for, which is being a confident person, because what tends to happen is that people go into changing who they are with the's huge undoable, impractical, overwhelming goals. For example, when it comes to becoming healthier, people might say, Well, I am £200 right now and I want to be 170. I've gotta lose those £30 in the next 30 days. I'm gonna lose a pound today, and when you stop and think about that, £30 in a month, in most cases is going to be overwhelming and big, and they get started. Somebody with that mind set up, I'm gonna lose £30 in 30 days. He gets started, and the brain starts to resist because the person is trying to change their diet. They're trying to change how they do everything in their life and their brain doesn't like it. And when your brain doesn't like something like that and it's overwhelming, it resists, it creates resistance, and as a result, a person that takes that approach at the end of week one looks back and says, My gosh, that was so hard. I really only lost £1 or and it was difficult. I'll come back to it later and you can look at that And that is not a success story. And I believe that it's because what happened is they tried to make too big and to overwhelming of a change in a short period of time. Rial success comes from focusing on making small, doable changes and the reason why small do it. Well, changes are so powerful and make so much more sense is because when you change something small and I'll explain this in one of the lessons in the course, when you change something small, your brain doesn't resist it like a big change, your brain gets on board and says, Yeah, I can you know you want to do that One small little thing. I'm OK with that. It's more doable. You can fit it into your lifestyle. You can. It's doing it in practice. It is something that is possible within your everyday life and doesn't require these massive changes. And so when you do this over time, it creates mo mentum. You see that this small change created, ah, great result. It wasn't a big one, but it did create a result that excites you about doing it again. That creates an even bigger result and just compounds over time. The more and more you do these small changes. So mindset number seven small changes create momentum, and over time, that momentum is going to lead you to the end goal that you want, which is to be a more confident person. 12. Wear The 'Uniform': dress confidently. The key idea here, being that look confident, to feel confident, look, confident to feel confident. And when we think about our clothes are clothes, affect how we feel and how we feel about ourselves. And here's some examples. When you put on some pajamas, what is that effect does that have on you? It makes you feel relaxed when you put on workout clothes, and sometimes you put on these workout clothes that kind of feel tied around your skin. It almost feels like your muscles are bulging in some ways and that energizes you. Makes you feel different by putting on work clothes as opposed to something else or doctors , police officers, people like that that wear uniforms when they put on that uniform. It helps them transforms them almost into the type of person that they need to be in order to carry out that assignment or that job or power suit. If you're a man or power dress, if you're a lady, you put that on and what does it do? It makes you feel awesome. So close affect how we feel now, the problem and the challenges that society has kind of lowered the standard of dress and casual and comfortable has oftentimes become a way of everyday life. T shirts, sweatshirts, things like that. And people are wearing them or and more all the time. And when you walk around and you have this ah, general approach of dressing, casual and dressing, uh, relaxed, that's low energy. Low energy doesn't translate, translate well into confidence. And so the thing that you want to do is look at this this opportunity to be casual and relaxed as a treat, not as an everyday way of living. You want to use your clothes. You want to dress confidently on an ongoing basis. Make it ah habits of yours to make dressing confident and feeling good about yourself and feeling it. Feeling it regularly something that you do most of the time. Not just occasionally, like when you go out in specific situations. Remember confidence. You don't want it to be just a simple one time strategy. You want to be part of your persona. Part of your identity and how you dress is a big part of them. So you want Oh, you want to look good and confident because that generates feelings of power and that feelings of unstoppable when you wear the right clothes. Now this doesn't mean that you have to wear name brand clothes. That's not what I'm saying. Here. Name brand is important. What is important is that your clothes are clean, that their press. They're not wrinkled all over the place, but their press, whatever it may be, whether it's a T shirt like this, what I'm wearing right now, this is appropriate for me. This makes me feel confident, and I live. Think I look pretty good in it, so it's not wrinkled. It's it's, you know, clean wrinkle free. You wanted to be the proper fit. You want to be too loose and sloppy or too tight and where you look like you're ridiculous and it's important. Also have nice shoes. So where some nice shoes? Because most people look at your shoes and they think high. If they have nice shoes, that means that they've taken great care from the feet, their feet to the top of their head to look and feel as good as they possibly can. So clean pressed, proper fits. Nice shoes. Get those all in place and look and feel confident and powerful. Whatever it may be for you, just remember that you close play a big role in that. So let's look at how to implement this idea, and this idea is really based around the the event of getting dressed. So when I get dressed, when I get dressed, I will dress in a way that makes me feel confident and charismatic. So have that mindset. It's on your mind as you're going to get ready in the morning, wherever it may be. Think what is it going to make me feel? Powerful? What's gonna make me feel confident? It's gonna make me feel charismatic and look at your closet. Pick those things out. Not casual, not relaxed. That's a treat. Here's a challenge for the next 7 to 30 days. I challenged myself to dress my very best at all times, especially those times when I need to perform at my highest level. Okay, so that's the challenge. Make sure that every day that you go out that you put on your very best, you feel good about it and you feel the sensation of confidence that it gives you 13. The 'Myth' Of What Other People Think Of You: the 10th mindset is that others care less than you think and notice what Oland Miller had to say about this, he said. We probably wouldn't worry about what other people think of us if we could know how seldom they do. And if his point isn't clear, here's what he's trying to say. He's trying to say that we often resist doing things that are uncomfortable or might be seen as Dom or might put us at risk in the eyes of others. You know, if we get up there and we say something bad, if I speak up and tell people what I'm feeling, I share my opinion. I share my ideas. I go up and talk to this person, whatever it may be, we resist doing those things often times, because we don't want to look bad in the eyes of others were thinking, How are they going to judge us? What are they going to say about us? And so we resist doing? But the reality is that we might get up. We might go do something. We might step out of our comfort zone and go talk to somebody. We might share an idea and other people might laugh, and other people might think that it's not a great idea, but the reality is that that's just a temporary reaction. You know, we, in our own minds, thinks that Oh, these people, this group of people that I made a fool of myself in front of they go home and spend the rest their month thinking about how dumb I looked, tearing it apart, talking to their friends about it, Senate sharing it on social media and doing all these things. And I'm not saying that that necessarily never happens. But 99% of the time it doesn't 99% of the time. If you get out and put your neck on the line, you step out of your comfort zone. You do something and doesn't work out quite right. Chances are people are going to laugh about it. It's gonna be on their mind for maybe 10 minutes, and then they're going to go on to their own lives. They often care less about your mistakes in your goof ups than you imagine, because we are our worst enemy. We see them playing it out all the time. Like I mentioned just a moment ago. And if you want proof that this is true, I want you to think about your own life, your own situation, and think of somebody in your life that you know really well. And you've been in situations with them recently and think about maybe something crazier dumb that they've done and how long you thought about it and the reaction that you had to it. Did you go and tell all your friends about it? Maybe you told some of your friends, maybe had a laugh about it. But after a certain period of time, you didn't care anymore. You've got too many other things going on in your life to worry about all the little issues that somebody else had in sticking their neck on the line. And so when you look at your own reaction to other people's challenges, you don't care that much about the mistakes they've made. You, oftentimes, quickly forget them, and so it's important that you're no different than everybody else. Other people don't look at your mistakes and hold on to them for the rest of their life and laugh about him. They let him go. They move on And that's important because when you realize that you're more willing to step out of your comfort zone and do something in front of people, when you realize that the discomfort, the pain, so to speak, the meat humiliation, potential humiliation is only temporary, oftentimes counted in minutes. And if you can understand that, then it's going to enable you to open up yourself to being more of a a spontaneous person, somebody who does things with confidence and explores new things, trying new things in front of others because you realize that they really don't care if you give up. 14. Break Through Your Fear Barriers And Have Some Fun: be spontaneous. The key idea here is that you want to use spontaneity to train yourself to break through your fear barriers, and you're gonna do this and very small in subtle ways, which is what works as we've talked about. In other lessons, when you have this plan of doing these big changes, what tends to happen is your brain resists big chick changes, and so you don't get the benefit, the end result of those changes that you're wanting because you end up just giving up too overwhelming for your brain. But being spontaneous, doing things you fear on in small, subtle ways can really train yourself to break through your fear barriers. And once you've done that, that leads to obviously at least the confidence now, David Hockney once said, and I love this quote so ironic. But it's so true. You must plan to be spontaneous. You must plan to do things that just kind of feel like in the moment, the right thing to do and that's we're going to talk about in this lesson is how to be spontaneous, why it's beneficial and how to plan to be spontaneous and get the benefits from it, But let's begin by talking about stinking overthinking. This is what I like to call stinking, overthinking, and oftentimes we tend to all of us, myself included. I don't do this on occasion, and it was a real challenge for me for a long time. But we over think our way out of taking action. We see something that we want to do. We know we should do it, but we think about it too long. And when you over think about doing something, even something good, you lessen your chances of doing it. And why is that the case? Well, we often think, Well, I'm gonna not act right now because I want to make the best choices. I want to get all the information. I want to do the right thing before I take this action, even if it's something good, even if it's something small as we look at some examples here in just a moment. But we stop from acting because we want toe over. Think it and here's the problem with overthinking and overthinking or stopping to pasta think can be a good idea. But when we overthink when we spend too much time trying to process all the possibilities of what we might need, what we might need to do. That's when you give way or space for doubts and fears to grow, because that's when you start talking yourself out of doing. And when you start talking yourself out of doing, you start seeing all the problems. You start seeing all the things that aren't going to work because you've given doubt in fear, space and time to grow. That's when you you stop doing. And when you get in this habit of over thinking and every time you want to act, which is what confidence really boils down to, is taking action, doing something that you believe in that is good. That is something in line with your your intention. When you get in this habit, though of over thinking, letting fear and doubt creep in, then that really slows down the pace of which in which you take action and often times it off oftentimes prevents you from acting completely. You get in this habit of thinking I want to do this and then you don't I want to do that and then you don't. I want to do this and then you don't because you over think things. This leads to you becoming a very weak it taking action which destroys your confidence and destroys your belief and your references that you're trying to build in your life, that you can be an action taker. It destroys that because you never act. So what is spontaneity look like? Well, I define it is something you can and should do, but it feels a little bit uncomfortable. But you do it anyway, right now. Okay, So let me state that again. You can and should do it, but it feels uncomfortable, but you do it anyway, Right now, Now, obviously, this is different than impulse because impulses typically something that you want to do you can and should do right now. But you want to do it because you just have the desire to do it. And those things aren't always the best things to do. Things that you impulsively drawn to do aren't always the best things Now. This is where spontaneity, I think is different because it tends to be something that's a little bit uncomfortable to do. But, you know, you should do it anyway, Right now Now what I'm talking about when I talk about beings spontaneous, I'm not talking about being foolish. You know, if the only potential downside to taking action is internal, you're not going to hurt yourself or you're not gonna hurt others. Then that is an action that IHS spontaneous. And you should do it if it's just something that makes you feel uncomfortable and you might think you think it might look stupid from doing it or you might not get the reaction that you want. That's something internal. But if it's a good thing, you do it anyway. So this isn't reckless foolishness. Now, what are the benefits of these tiny breakthroughs? Well, I think it boils down to one simple thing, and that is spontaneity teaches you to get comfortable with doing what's uncomfortable. As I mentioned just a moment ago, when you're spontaneous, you're looking at things in your life that you know you should do, but they just feel a little uneasy. But you do it any way you get past these little fear barriers. You push past them. Your brain is okay. Your brain doesn't resist too much, and you keep pushing, pushing, pushing through and you'll learn that you can break through these ferret fear barriers just by acting now and getting comfortable with doing what's uncomfortable. You do this enough and becoming a confident person and stepping out and doing the things that you know you should do, and speaking up and saying what's on your mind and getting up and putting yourself and situations that are uncomfortable to you. That's gonna become part of your nature because you learn to be spontaneous, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Now let me just share with you my my own personal experience with spontaneity, especially when it comes to vacation planning. And this is my last minute clues, Cruz toe wear very quick story, and I used to be a very diligent planner when it comes to my vacations. I wanted to know where I was going to be at every moment of the day, what time a place opened, what aisles to walk down. And it was almost insane how detail oriented I wanted to be when it came to going on vacation and then, once upon a time, a number of years ago, not too long ago. Actually, my wife and I, we went down to Galveston, Texas. We had to take care of something. And Galveston is a port where cruise ships come in. And we were gonna just spend a week in Galveston checking it out, and we got down there and it's a very cool place. We love the beach, but we thought, you know, after a day or two, we want some adventure, their cruise ships outside, close to the port here. And we think we thought, you know, maybe we should just take a cruise and we had the clothes. We had our passports. I don't know why we don't remember why we brought them, but we had those things. I mean, our passport. I know why we brought her close, but we I'm not sure why we brought her passport. But it was good anyway because we called up the cruise line while we were down there in Galveston. We said, Hey, we're down in Galveston. Do you have a cruise that is available that we can get on? And they told us if you can get here within the next hour, if you can get to the port of Galveston and get here within the next hour. We have a cruise that's leaving for five day cruise, and we're like, Okay. Paid, hung up, got in the car, drove over the port. We didn't even know where this cruise was going at all was totally spontaneous. It was really exciting, you know, it was out of my comfort zone, but we get to the port we get on the cruise ship, and as a result of not having all the documents that you normally get when you go on a cruise that they send you like a month in advance, we get on the cruise. We don't know where it's going. We don't have any of the documents. We don't have the name tacked ing or whatever it may be in the cruise line. Actually felt bad about this when we get on the ship and they felt almost like they didn't prepare us were being on the cruise. So we got drink tickets. We had all kinds of awesome experiences. Ah, we went to places. We went to Mexico. We'd never been to these areas in Mexico. We traveled around, we explored, and this really set the tone for being spontaneous completely on the vacation We didn't know essentially what we're gonna do any part of the day. And it was awesome. It was awesome. We had great experiences. The cruise line treated us exceptionally well. We went to places we've never been before. We done things that we had never imagined that we would do. And it all started from just being spontaneous. One simple act of saying, Let's get on a cruise right now and go have a blast even though we hadn't planned it out or I hadn't planned it out and it was amazing. And ever since then I've learned that those are the best kinds of vacations where you just get in the car and we've done this to just get in the car, Dr and go somewhere and just have a fantastic time and learn. It taught me to break through my barriers of over thinking. I still have a problem with it occasionally, but that was a turning point. And I'll tell you, you do something like that and you're gonna have amazing experiences, and it's gonna teach you to break through those fear barriers. So how do you implement spontaneity? Well, it comes to down to the win I than I when I have an opportunity to do something I know is good but makes me feel uncomfortable, Then I will be spontaneous and do it now. We're gonna look at a few examples here, so when you have an opportunity to do something good, that makes you feel uncomfortable than be spontaneous and do it now that's going to train you Over time, you get in the habit of doing that challenge for the next 7 to 30 days. I challenged myself to look, look for opportunities to be spontaneous and take them. And if you don't know what being spontaneous looks like, we'll hear some examples. Here's some suggested ways to be more spontaneous. Start a simple conversation with a stranger, and if you're not comfortable with doing that, you know, just actually, if you if you want to try as the 1st 1 just go up to someone and say, Hey, how you doing today? I just wanted to say that I think kids are really well behaved Or, you know, I just want to compliment you on how nicely dressed you look. I'm not trying to be a weirdo or creep, but I just wanted to let you know that you look really nice today or, uh, you know, what do you think about this thing or that thing in your environment? Or if you're in a event, what do you think about what you're learning today or hearing about today and just go up and start a conversation with a stranger? You know, that's something good that you should do. You have the ability to do it, and it's just a little bit out of your comfort zone. But be spontaneous and just go over and do it. Or maybe have neighbors that you've never talked to. We'll go make them cookies by them, a small gift and say hello. I just want to introduce myself. My name is Derrick, and it's great to have you as my neighbor. If you ever need anything, just knock on the door. Apologize about my dog barking constantly or whatever it may be. Just go up and have a conversation with your with your neighbors. This is one of my favorites exploring area of your town that you've never been to before. So just get in the car and drive to an area of your town or your county or even your state somewhere. That's an hour way that you've never been to and just explore without a plan. Just go and see what you learn and what you find in the experiences that you have do one thing that you've been putting off more than three months, something you know you should do that makes you uncomfortable. And that's not gonna hurt anybody. It might be a little bit something painful looking at or facing, but doing anyway. Be spontaneous. Make a how to video posted on YouTube. Great way to be spontaneous. If you have an idea thought, Just make a video posted on YouTube. You don't even have to make it public. If you do, that's even better. But just make it private. Just do it. Get some, take some action, try geo cashing, and if you don't know what this is, look it. Look into it. It's a way to go on a kind of a scavenger hunt that you never know what's going to happen on the scavenger hunts. Do a search for these. These are clickable links that you can find some more information right. A family memory haven't spoken to four y while drive to a small town around you and walk around. You never know what you're going to experience it. Spontaneous. It's uncomfortable a little bit. Be generous. Try a new restaurant for lunch. Compliment a stranger, Whatever it may be, just think of ways again, that good things that you could do that are just a little bit outside your comfort zone that you can do right now and then do them. 15. The Simple And Predictable Path To Personal Power: So the fifth mindset for becoming a more confident person is how you use your body is key, and the reason why it's so important. Such a key is because how you use your body, how you stand, how you breathe, how you look, how you look at other people, how you interact with them, how you use your physical body has an effect on your thinking, and it has an effect on your emotions. You can change your body and instantly it can change how you think, and it can change how you feel and when you are able to change how you think and how you feel. You can take that that idea and that concept and go from having maybe weak thoughts and weak emotions and feelings that you just can't overcome. Certain obstacles, fears, doubts. Use your body. Change your body as I'll show you in this course how to do this. Once you change your body, it will change your thinking. Change your emotions, make you feel more powerful, make you see things that you didn't see before, and as a result, you're thinking and emotions come together in a positive way that affect your sense of personal power, your belief that you can do something, that you can be confident you could be fearless. And so I'm gonna show you how to bring that out, changing your body that will eventually lead to changing your level of confidence and personal power. 16. Raising Your Confidence 'Thermostat': the ninth Mindset is that you must become confidence. And that means that I want you to look at confidence as more than just a strategy that you turn on and off when you need it. For example, let's say that on a scale from 1 to 100 maybe you feel like right now your confidence level in general is out of 50. So I give you an idea or strategy. I teach you something I don't want you to think of. That strategy is something that is going to enable you to get up to a 70 or 80 in confidence when you need it, and then you when you're done using it, you go back down to your 50 in your normal self. The goal in this course is to help you to really boost your overall confidence so that confidence becomes part of your identity. Your character traits who you are so that you generally have a confidence level of 80 or 90 not 50 but 80 or 90. And then when you need a little bit of extra confidence, you can use these strategies to get you there may be to take you to an 85 or 90. But once you're done, you go back down to an 80. So we're trying to raise what I call you overall confidence. Thermostat. Not just making confidence. An on off switch that you turn off occasionally be part of your identity. You want to become a person of confidence. 17. Instantly Shift Your Focus From Failing To Winning!: so practice what if up, which is the idea of changing your focus from one of failure toe one of success. And what that means is when we go into a situation, if you find yourself in a situation where maybe you have to give a presentation or you need to go talk to someone, whatever it may be, oftentimes would play this this voice. We hear this voice in our head and that voice is seen. What if I mess up? Or what if I make mistakes? What if I look stupid or what if a hairs out of place or something like that? It's not a concern of mine, necessarily anymore, but it could be for most people, you know. But we start asking all these questions about what if, essentially, what if I fail and I call that? What if Downing and the reality is when you have that approach? When you enter a situation with that kind of mindset where you're kind of looking for the fact that you might fail, you don't have much confidence going into that situation or that scenario. As a result, if you go into a situation with a mindset of losing. More than likely you're going to lose, you're going to fail in some way. And you might say something dumb. You might make a mistake. And you really setting yourself up for failure? So the key here is instead of focusing on what could go wrong, which is what if Downing you've shift your focus from what could go wrong to what could go right? Which is called What if upping and I didn't develop this idea. This was developed by someone. Mindy. I think it was her name I saw this many, many years ago. I thought it was a great approach to shifting your mindset. What if happy is what she called it and said so instead of focusing on failure instead of focusing on all the things that could go wrong when you enter situation, what you want to do is what if I focus on everything that could go right? So instead of saying, you know what if I make a mistake? What if I look stupid? You say, What if I do? Awesome. What an idea, right? Or what if I do the best job I've ever done? What if I go up and talk to this person and it turns out amazing. What if I look great when I'm giving this presentation? What if I have a great conversation? So that's what if opting instead of setting yourself up for failure, you're setting yourself up for success and you're going into that situation with the mindset of winning, which is going to boost your confidence. So how do you do this in real life? Well, just when you go into a situation when you're thinking about entering Ah, an event where your confidence is kind of like shaky, Then give yourself 3 to 5 reasons why you were going to win. What if I go up and meet somebody new? What if I make a new friend? What if I find something out that I never knew before? And just make a mental list as you approached this situation before you go into it and you want to get really excited about it? You know what? If this happens, what if this positive thing really works out and get excited about even nod your head if you want to, and so use your body, clench your fists, nod your head, get into it find all the reasons why you're going to win at least 3 to 5 before you enter that situation and you'll notice a shift in how you feel and how you approach that situation with a mindset of winning. Now let's talk about implementation when I when I enter a situation that has a significant outcome and or requires a boost of confidence than I will practice. What if that could be different for everyone but usually conversation going into a meeting , giving a presentation of some sort, going out in a social occasion of some of some sort. If you're nervous in those kind of situations than this would be a great time to practice. What if up and you can do it whenever you get an opportunity doesn't have to happen right before the event or the scenario. Just do it going in so that you have the right mindset as you approach that situation. And here's a challenge for the next 7 to 30 days, I challenge myself to practice what if up before entering any social situation and doing it with feeling and emotion, change your mindset from one of failure to success, and that will boost your confidence 18. Think Small In Order To Leap BIG: show confidence in small ways, with the key idea here being that to become a confident person, you want to focus on small steps instead of giant leaps, small steps instead of giant leaps. Why? Well, because change is hard. Your body, your brain typically don't like change. So when you are trying to become a more confident person, if you feel you're kind of an insecure person right now or just not as confident as you like to be changing into a confident person, especially, which means really making yourself known toe others putting yourself in vulnerable situations. Being confident like that is uncomfortable and your brain doesn't like uncomfortable. It tends to resist situations or things that you want to do to grow. That might put you in uncomfortable situations. It resists those because it doesn't like uncomfortable. It's easier to do the easy thing, which is what most people do. Why they don't grow and become the kind of people that they want to be is because it requires work and confidence is no different. The problem is, though, if you go into it with the mindset of I have to take these giant leaps, I have to make these huge leaps in confidence overnight within a week, or I'm a failure. It's just not working right. That's not true. That's the wrong approach. Toe. Have giant leaps, create mawr resistance from your brain and going to prevent you from really growing and expanding, especially when it comes to confidence like you want to do. And so small changes minimize this resistance that you get for your brain. If you can do small things because your brain is okay with small tiny sometimes what seem like inconsequential, minor, tiny changes that you have or that you make it's okay with that. Why? Well, because these small changes are what I often like to call our within this idea of something called slap or the standard level of acceptable pain. So here, think of this as your your comfort zone barrier. And when you have something that you want to grow and do to really step outside of that comfort zone right here is the General. This bottom line represents kind of like the basic inside barrier of your comfort zone. This top is the slap, the standard level of acceptable pain that you your body, says OK, your brain says I'm OK with. So if you take these small steps and do these small things, that's within your standard level of acceptable pain outside of your comfort zone. So you're going outside your comfort zone a little bit, just a tiny bit, but your brains okay with that, and so it doesn't really resist. But what's cool is when you do these tiny changes, your overall comfort zone continues to expand in small, tiny ways. Now, if you try these big giant leaps like a lot of people take whether it's confidence or eating healthier exercising whatever you know, a lot of people tend to think that I'm gonna do the this major change in my life. And when they do that, it is outside of the standard level of acceptable pain to your comfort zone. As we matter as a result, your comfort zone your brain resists and it pulls you right back, and people tend to give up because they get pulled right back. They see no progress. This this approach, these small, tiny changes that grow your comfort zone in small, tiny ways that is the key to improving, including improving your confidence so Let's talk about some small ways to be confident. Okay, just let's go through this list real quick. And these are just some of suggestions. You can use whatever works for you, but here are some great suggestions for expanding your confidence in small ways and showing them smile at people all the time. You know, instead of walking by people and just, you know, keeping your eye appear stop. Look them in the eye and smile at them even when you're interacting with them. Smile. Okay. Let him know that you are happy to see them or that At least you're not shy to show some happiness. So as you walk by people, if you're in the elevator, you pass him in the street, smile at them. Another one is to ask people for their name. This is a big one. I do this all the time. Go into if you have a server, you go into a restaurant, you have a server or somebody is helping you across counter whatever may be, most people have a name tag these days, so get their name and use it. It's gonna feel a little bit uncomfortable at first. Doing that you might feel stupid, but I'm telling you, it's a great way to boost your confidence is to find out people's names and use it small barrier that you're crossing when you do that another way is kind of tied with that is to complement other people. So if somebody looks good or their hair is exceptionally nice, clothes that they're wearing is are really nice looking on them. Then just tell him being honest and sincere. Say, you know what? Your hair looks amazing today or that outfit looks really great on you. Okay? Of course You don't wanna be creeping weird, but you can do this in a very sincere way, but lets people know that Hey, you know what? Good for you. You're doing something amazing. You did a great job on that presentation. I really liked what you said there and what you said. There really had some meaning to me. So compliment People sincerely specifically as well look people in the eye always when you are communicating with them doesn't matter who they are. Look them in the eye Authority figures, subordinates, whatever Parents, teachers, kids look people in the eye small way to boost your confidence. Here's another big one. Walk confidently as your as your walking down the street something you probably don't think about very often. But, you know, some people just kind of shuffling. Drag your feet. Well, don't walk with some confidence. Be aware. Pay attention. And as you're walking, walk with a wide stride Have your shoulders back, chest up and really walk with some confidence. Another way to boost your confidence in small ways. Say thank you. Somebody does something nice to you. Say thank you. I really appreciate that. Don't go. Uh, no, no. And I am just, you know, I didn't do his greatest jobs. I thought or or no, I appreciate it. But, you know, it's just my job. No, stop and say Thank you. Be gracious and appreciate the the act of appreciation that they're showing toward you. So except those those words of gratitude when somebody says thank you and say thank you back with sincerity. Another way to do it is to show confidence in small ways is to use your hands in slow, fluid motions. Sometimes people get crazy and they're all over the place with their hands and one way to really boost your confidence in small, subtle way is to slow down your hand movements. Keep him fluid, keep him slow, keep him controlled, and that's over time will help you to develop your confidence as well. And the great thing about it, this is the small changes that you do. If you practice these things on a regular basis, is very simple to practice. If you practice them, they can. They start to compound and they become even. You become an even more confident person in general. Just simply because it becomes part of your personality becomes who you are at your core because you are practicing confident habits, these air habits of confident people and you may not ever pay attention may not think. I know somebody gets up to talk in front of 10,000 people, not as a confident person, and you may not think well, somebody looks you in the eye, uses your name or says thank you Sincerely, you may not think that they're confident person, but they are those air subtle ways that they show confidence. You do that, you develop those habits, and that will reflect and how you feel about yourself in your ability to approach life confidently as well. So let's talk about implementing this particular idea of showing confidence in small ways the challenge for the next 7 to 30 days, I challenge myself to do one of these things. Pick one of these things to do for the next 7 to 30 days. Either smile at people as you walk past them. Just keep a smile on your face. And as you look at them, just practice that on an ongoing basis. Asked servers at restaurants for their names and use it. Hey, Sally, how you doing? It's good to see. Hey, Sally, could you take my order, please? Or Hey, Sally, I could use some more tea. Sally things for your great service. I really appreciate it very, very much. Get a name and use it. Look for specific ways to complement others at work and let them know if you see somebody do something that you thought was really great. Go up and let them know. Tell them say thank you. That's awesome that you did that. Walk confidently to your desk to work and pay attention to how you use your hands when you speak. If you're all over the place, bringing in control it, control your movement of your hands, slow it down and do these things. Challenge yourself for 7 30 days and see the impact that the small, little, tiny changes have on your confidence. 19. Build A Record Of Your Awesomeness: so you want to identify and track your small winds? The key idea here is you want to keep a record of success is to build your confidence. Now. A fellow by the name of William Jennings Bryan once said that the way to develop self confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you. And that's the basis of this particular strategy and idea that I'm going to share with you . The first thing to get clear about is what a small win is. What is a small win? Well, small wind is simply a time or period in your life when you accomplish something, when you make progress on it or you complete it. So let's look at some examples. If you have a blawg and you write a block post, no longer is that just a block post. That's a win. That's a victory if you pay your bills. No longer are you just doing something that's part of everyday life. That's a win because you completed it. You cook a healthy meal, you're trying to eat healthier, and you actually successfully complete cooking and eating a healthy meal then you win. That's a victory. You want to start taking notice of those. And unfortunately, though small winds often get ignored, why was because of our mindset? Generally speaking, society has a mindset, and you may have this mindset as well that if something in your life isn't mind blowingly awesome, you don't get a promotion. You don't get the award. Those are things worth noting as victories in your life. That's what we often believe. And so as a result, we don't see those things very often. You know, the awards, the promotions, things like that don't happen very often. And so all the other things we actually make progress on and successfully complete, we kind of push off to the side. We don't even take notice of them because they're not that big of a deal. But that's the wrong mindset. Toe. Have you want to really start paying attention to these small winds because they happen all the time. Now what's the power in these small winds? This power is that scene is believing, and when you begin to take notice of the small things that you accomplish each and every day, the small things that you make progress on each and every day you're going to notice that you have a lot of small victories, small winds, and the great thing about seeing those is that seeing these small winds buildup constantly knowing that you're accomplishing things, you're making progress, that you're a force in the universe, so to speak, to accomplish things, influence things, complete things. When you start seeing that and you're building a record, it generates a belief that you can win. You start thinking, Okay, I did this thing, I accomplished it. I didn't another thing. I accomplished it. I did another thing. I accomplished it and you start thinking, Wow, I am a person who is able to accomplish stinks and to influence and make an impact in my environments and with other people. And so when you have a belief in your ability to win, when you believe that you can go into a situation and when influence whatever it may be, when you have that belief in your ability to do that, that creates confidence. And so those small winds are big part in making that happen. So what do you want to do with your small winds? you want to start collecting them, you want to take note? You want to slow down every once in a while, take notes and track your awesomeness. The things that you do that are small winds and small accomplishments, things that you make progress on, things you complete. Keep that in mind. All right, So how do you do it? Well, the best way to do it is at the end of your day, either your work day or the time when you're gonna go to bed, spend 1 to 3 minutes thinking about or riding down your small winds. And so this means that right before you wrap up your work day, you want to take a moment and come up with at least three ways. Three things that you did that you made progress on or you completed. So let's say, for example, you're working on a presentation and it's a 20 minute presentation and you only get five minutes of it completed now. Oftentimes he would. Maybe in the past, you would think, Well, it's not a victory until it's done Well, now what you're going to see is that if you finish five minutes of that 20 minute presentation. That's a victory. That's something you want to take notice up because you made progress. Now, once you complete it, of course, you want to make note of that as well and identify and track it and build those references . Build a record. So let's talk about an implementation of this idea when I then I. So when I get to the end of my work day, tell yourself this when I get to the end of my workday, then I will identify and track my small winds. Do this today. Do this exercise at the very least, do it today. So at the end of your work day, think about the least three or more. If you have more, that's great. But at least three ways that you were victorious, that you won and and feel the excitement that comes from realising that you did that and the challenges for the next 7 to 30 days tell yourself I challenge myself to spend 1 to 3 minutes at the end of my work day to capture the small winds I've experienced for that day . So do this for 30 days, three wins a day, and at the end of 30 days, you'll have 90 wins, a record of at least 90 wins. Just imagine how great of an impact that's going toe have on your sense and you're feeling of confidence. So do this. Track your winds and you'll notice a huge difference. 20. Rehearse THIS To Win At THAT: So you want to visualize or mentally rehearse, which means that you want to experience winning in advance in advance of doing Visualization is incredibly powerful tool, and there are a number of reasons why this is the case. But we're gonna talk about two reasons specifically that make visualization so powerful. So when you visualize going through the steps of achieving something you haven't outcome that you want to achieve and you visualize briefly the steps that it takes to get there and the experience of actually winning and successfully doing it, it creates a pathway in your brain ahead of time before you actually do it. In reality, it creates a pathway to help you to do all kinds of things, to get a clear path to that outcome, how to achieve it, and it helps you to identify obstacles that you might run into along your way. In real life. It helps you to see those in advance in your mind so that you can eliminate those as well. As a matter of fact, you can look at it like this, So when you start out a task or you want to achieve a specific outcome, you have this path that you have to go down. But initially, in reality, if you just work to go and try to achieve this outcome without visualization, it be like trying to cross over this field in this tall grass. And you have this obstacle in your way because you're not planning your not visualizing in advance. So you have this tall grass where there's no path. You have this obstacle in the way. And so when reality, if you don't visualize first when you try to do this thing in reality, in the real world, you look at that and you're thinking that looks a little bit intimidating. I'm gonna turn around and maybe come back and try to do this later. This is all kinds of resistance right here. But when you visualized in advance, not only do you clear the path to your outcome, but you can see the obstacles that stand in your way as well, and you eliminate those pretty much most of them not all of them, but pretty much most of them. So by visualizing in advance, you create a clear pathway to your outcome. And when you have this type of clear pathway. It generates confidence and eliminates, or at least levy eights, fear and resistance to actually doing. And so that's the benefits. Ah, visualization on. You want to win in advance, which is your choice when it comes to visualizing how you see things working out, things that you're attempting to do, You want to see those as opportunities to win, because oftentimes, what do most people do and you may be guilty of doing this as well. It's easy to visualize losing, being put in the situation where you're thinking, you know, before you go into it and you may not even realize you're doing it. But you think, Well, how is this going to turn out? Or I wonder what I'm gonna do to goof up or I see people laughing at me or I see myself saying something I wish I could take back. And that's how people visualize. They actually can see this pretty clearly in their mind, even though they may not realize that they're doing it. But that's visualizing losing, obviously, And so you want to turn that around? That is your choice as to whether or not you visualize winning or visualize losing So you want to see yourself winning in these circumstances. So how do you do it? It's a very simple process. So before you go into a situation that you think is going to cause you some anxiety or fear or resistance, you want to visualize two different things. For one, you want to visualize your outcome. Okay, what's your outcome? But more than anything, you want to visualize the steps that is going to take to get to that outcome. You know exactly where you're going, and if that means to have a successful conversation to have a successful presentation to make a phone call successfully, you want to envision in your mind for just a minute the steps necessary that it takes to get to that point and winning at each of those steps. So let's say that you're visualizing having a conversation with somebody that makes you a little bit nervous. So what you would visualize in your mind as far as the steps go, you would visualize going up confidently, walking up to them, saying something that makes them smile, visualized, making contact with them, visualize having a good conversation where you're standing there having a good conversation together, visualize shaking hands and agreeing to something and then a visualized walking off. And this is the second part of the visualization is experiencing the feeling of actually winning doing that thing successfully. So you want to visualize the steps that it takes to get there. You don't have to get every specific detail down, but the general steps that it takes to win in that situation see them in the light of doing them right and being successful doing them and then visualize see in yourself at the end, winning what it feels like. You know, what does it feel like to have that conversation and walk away from it and say, Wow, that was a great conversation or to make that phone call and think, Yes, I did it. We're getting up on stage if that's something that you do and the feeling that will feel like when you accomplish that successfully. So visualize the steps mentally. Rehearse the steps, mentally rehearse, winning the experience and how it will feel. See it clearly and feel it for just about a minute. And you would be amazed at how much this clears the pathway to success for achieving your goal in your intention. So here's how to implement this idea. So when I enter a situation so pick a situation that is specific to you that you feel some apprehension and going into our anxiety, pick a situation and say when I enter this situation that that has a significant outcome or requires a boost of confidence, then I will visualize or mentally rehearse successfully a successful outcome and the steps to reach it. So pick a specific thing in your life that you really want to overcome, that you want to achieve successfully and you need some confidence to do it and tell yourself before I go into the situation, I'm going to visualize the steps and a successful outcome. You might do it right now after this video and just spend a minute doing it, get it clear and do it repeatedly. And if you do this and you get in the habit of visually visualizing and mentally rehearsing , you're gonna see that your abilities to achieve those successful outcomes is going to be a lot easier 21. Slow Down The Disruptive Speed Of Anxiety: do you want to learn to speak slowly and the key idea. Control your speaking to control your anxiety. We know that anxiety destroys confidence so you can actually use your words, how you speak to minimize or even completely eliminate your anxiety, which will boost your confidence. So let's talk about how and why this works so anxious energy speeds up your speech. I'm sure you've been in situations before, where you are feeling nervous. You're feeling anxious and you start talking a lot faster than you normally do. Why does that happen? Was because your body's fight or flight response is kicking in and it's juicing you up. It's getting you ready for action and that nervous energy, that energy that your body gets in that fight or flight response needs to be released somehow. And usually this is through rapid muscle movements, you know, you start running and get out of there. You, you're fighting, you're moving your arms, you've got this rapid muscle movement. Typically, that is the reaction that comes from that fight or flight response. But when you're in modern day society and you're feeling that fight or flight response, you've got all this nervous energy. You're not usually moving. You're not usually running away. You're not usually fighting. So what happens? Your tongue. Your mouth is the only thing that's moving. And because you have all this energy, your tongue, your body's trying to release that energy by moving your mouth fast, moving your tongue fast and you start talking fast in general. And that's a problem in itself because you get feeds your anxiety feel feeds that anxious energy. Not only that, but when you speak too fast, you reveal to others that you're feeling fear. They can sense it. They can sense that you're not being calm. You're not confident you're coming across very anxious and how fast that you're speaking. So it's important to get this under control now, speaking slowly, speaking very slowly, not slowly like this. But speaking slowly is the antidote to this anxiety. Why? Well, because it works both ways, anxiety can speed up your speech, but slowing down your speech can also minimise your anxiety. Okay, they both work in tandem with each other, so you control one you affect the other. Why is this the case? Why can the way that you speak slow down or minimize your anxiety. Well, there are several reasons for this one is that when you speak slowly, it fools your brain into believing that you're okay. So you calm yourself down and you kind of minimize that fight or flight response that you're feeling and you tell your brain I am speaking slowly because I'm in control and as a result, your heartbeat starts going down. You stop sweating a little bit less. You don't feel that nervousness like you did because your training you're tricking your brain into believing that you're actually okay, because your speech is slower. In addition, you get the benefit. When you start speaking slower that you breathe better, you get more opportunities to breathe. Instead of talking real fast, you're really trying to communicate because you can't really You're so nervous and you run out of breath on and you do this. How many times have you done that? Because you're talking too fast. But when you slow down and control your pace, you're gonna breathe a lot better. That contributes to being calm and in control as well. You also have more time to think before you speak, because when you have all that anxious energy. You start blurting things out, you start saying things that you wish you could take back because your mouth is moving faster than your brain can process. And that makes you nervous if you do that a lot, that that gets you into this mode where whenever you find yourself in social situations, you're thinking OK, I'm in this social situation that makes me nervous. And I'm gonna start seeing something stupid because I can't get my mouth shut again. And I'm talking too fast. Well, if you train yourself to slow down, you're going to stop doing that a lot less, and you're gonna have those those fears of goofing up saying something dumb saying something you wish you could take back is gonna happen less and less and less because you're going to stop and think about what you say before you say it. So how do you speak? Slowly, Very simple. Process. Pay attention, Tune into how you speak. Just really focus in when you are in a conversation. We'll talk about this in a minute in the implementation part of this lesson. But when you're in a conversation or when your mouth is moving. Check yourself, tune into how fast you're speaking, and as you tune in, focus on slowing down. Slow it down. Just say, Oh, I'm talking right now I'm telling a story. I'm communicating slow down and one of the ways to really slow down and really tune into slowing down is to articulate your words. Be slow, be deliberate and be specific. So say your teas. Say your l's your K's be very deliberate, very slow and articulate your words clearly. I mean, you don't want to be obnoxious about it and go, Hi, how are you? It's so good to see you today. It's not what I'm talking about. It needs to be natural, but a lot slower than what you might imagine. You want toe pause occasionally as well. You get to the end of a sentence. Possible split Second, you make a point pause. If you would get to the end of telling a story, pause. So that's going to calm you down. That's going to slow you down. It's gonna give you a chance to do the next thing, which is to breathe. So when you pause, taking a quick, deep breath and start talking about the next thing. So used these pauses to slow down, take breaths and calmed down. Overall, Now it won't be weird. You might might do this. You might practice. This is and what? This is one of the challenges that people start slowing down their speech, and it feels weird to them because they think I'm talking too slow for people. Well, what seems slow to you is not the same experience that other people are having. Because toe others, it seems natural, It seems calm, and it seems confident. So do this. It's going to seem weird. It's going to seem like and feel like you're really kind of going slower than you should. But other people's experiences are going to reflect something other than that. Not only that, but you're going to feel better. You slow down and it's going to have a lot better results on how it makes you feel confident. So let's talk about implementing this idea implementation. When I Then I went, I speak. So when I'm in a conversation giving a presentation on the phone or talking to my kids or whoever it may be whatever that situation is when your mouth is moving in your speaking. Then I will tune into the speed of my speaking and slow down very simple recipe for success and speaking slowly. Now the challenge. For the next seven or 30 days, I challenge myself to speak slower than what seems normal, especially in situations that cause me anxiety. So think of the situations that you have in your own life that cause you anxiety. And tell yourself before I go into those situations for the next 7 to 30 days, I am going to really pay attention to how fast I speak and going to slow it down. You do this, you're gonna control your anxiety, and it's gonna have an awesome effect on your confidence. 22. Identify And Eliminate Confidence 'Kryptonite': Let's talk about releasing nervous energy, and the idea here is to minimize the energy that destroys confidence, of minimizing the energy that destroys confidence. And obviously, that is nervous energy. So let's begin by talking about what is nervousness. What is nervous energy? Well, your body, you may know this has this mechanism is called the fight or flight response. And so when your body detects or your mind thinks that you're in a situation where you need to either fight your way out of it or you need to get out of there, it has a reaction and does something. A mechanism kicks in. This fight or flight mechanism kicks in, and it changes your body almost instantly. And so if you're in a situation where you are thinking, I'm kind of uncomfortable about this, I've got to get up in front of people. I've gotto enter the social situation. Your body can actually go into that fight or flight response mechanism and can kick it in, and you start feeling the effects of it. So what are the effects of the flight or fight response that caused nervousness? Well, there are three main ones. The 1st 1 is that your heart rate starts jumping. You know, you feel your heartbeat just sometimes, feel like you're gonna pop out of your chest, right? And that's the blood pumping to your body, and it's prepping your body for the the idea that you're going to get moving, you're gonna either need that energy to fight, or you gonna need that energy to get out of there. And so your body is pumping the blood into your body faster in preparation of doing that. The second thing that typically happens is that your muscles, you know, you feel your muscles getting jittery and you start shaking. Your knees might start knocking, and that's because your body is prepped for moving for doing something. But if you're not doing those things, you have this unreleased energy that's kind of just sitting there. And that's why you feel the shakiness, the nervousness. Your body is trying to do something with the energy that it's getting, but because maybe you're not able to fight or fly, because maybe you're doing you're entering a social situation, and that's not what you want to do. Your body is just kind of shaking. That's it's best way of releasing energy as much as it possibly can, so that's the second thing it does now. The third thing that it typically does is you begin to sweat. You know you feel your sweaty palms, or maybe your underarms start sweating. Or maybe you just start sweating all over the place, and again, that is your body prepping for a cool down. So when you start using your muscles and you start either running to get out of there, you start fighting. That's using up muscle energy, and it's gonna heat you up and your body causes you to sweat in order to cool you down. It's it's cooling mechanism. So it's interesting that all these things that maybe we've given the label of nervousness to for the longest time is actually something that is logical for your body to do. And hopefully that makes sense as to what it's all about Now. The important thing to realize, though, is that this convey be controlled. This feeling of nervousness, this fight or flight response can be controlled. You're not genetically inclined to be a nervous wreck. When you're in situations that you're uncomfortable, you can get past that through some training, and it is possible to minimize it or even completely eliminated. I mean, that's the way I was. I used to be was never really a nervous wreck so much. I did have nerves in front of people, as a lot of maybe confident people had at one time. You know, most people at one time in their life had the sense of nervousness, lack of confidence, a little bit, and you could feel the jitters. You know, your palms sweating and you could feel your heart beating a little bit faster. But nowadays I've done it so much. I've learned to overcome this nervous energy to the point where I get in front of people are getting situations and very rarely, if ever. So I have this flight or fight response and feel these sensations. Now I get excited. That's different, but nothing like this. And so you might feel it right now, you might just feel like you're intense when it comes to being nervous that you just you know, you're just like this. Don nuts. Actor down, not used to play at awesome nervous fellow. If you ever get a chance to look on YouTube. Look for some videos of Don knots. Nervous? You're a comedian from the Andy Griffith Show. Different story, though. Unless you start shaking like this, this can be minimized and even eliminated with some practice. Now, the best way of doing this, the best way of getting rid of nervousness is to use your body. Now. Oftentimes, what we want to do is we want to try to talk ourselves out of it. You know, this guy I got quit being nervous. I gotta get some. Get some confidence right now. I gotta quit being nervous, and we try to talk ourselves out of this biological response that we're having. But really the best way that we can tackle this and control it is by using our body in specific ways. So let's talk about three ways to use your body if you have this nervous energy, so use your body to minimize it or eliminate it completely so you can get into a mode of confidence. Okay, Now, the 1st 1 is a very common approach to eliminating anxiety or stress of any kind. And that is to take three deep breaths. So just and do that three times and your body will respond to that in a certain way. It will say, Wow, you know, if I'm breathing slowly like this, there must not be really a danger here. And so what kind of trim back, So to speak, that fight or flight response, that mechanism that's kicking in and what kind of tone it down a little bit by taking those deep breaths, the second thing to do is to clinch your fists or your toes, you know, get some energy, and they're just like, uh and just feel it, you know, just and just clench your body and your your fist in your toes. And the reason why that works is because that's a release of energy. Now, obviously, you probably wouldn't want to do this in front of somebody. If you have ah, opportunity to do it away from people, you could do this, but really clench your muscles, clench every part of your body that you possibly can, and that will release that nervous energy and use that right before you need to go on to stage. Or if you need to talk to somebody, just do it and you can even do it suddenly that somebody may not even notice. Just do it as best you can, and that's a great way of releasing that nervous energy. And along those lines, what you can do is walk, you know, do some walking or jump up and down. If you have the opportunity to do that. The main idea being is that you want to get your body moving. You want to have some motion so that as that as you're moving, you're releasing that nervous energy. You're reacting to that fight or flight response in a way that you're built to, which is to get moving and you release that energy. And it'll calm you down after you release that energy for 30 seconds to a minute, whatever amount of time that you have, another thing you could do. And this is optional as your clinching. Just say something powerful Anat Formacion. Get your mind into the game, so to speak and say, Yeah, someone, I'm going to do a great job here, you know, And just tell yourself, Give yourself a pep talk. Powerful pep talk while you're clenching while you're breathing and really get into this mode of releasing that nervous energy. Now let's talk about implementing this idea. So when I feel nervous when I feel nervous, then I will take three deep breaths. I will clinch my and release, clench my fists in my toes and release, and I will walk, jump around and stretch and get moving. Okay, so when I feel nervous, I will breathe deeply. Clinch and move around. Just keep those things in mind when you're feeling that nervous energy, do it to the best of your ability. Suddenly, if necessary and you'll release that nervous energy and you'll feel the confidence come in and replace it with some of the other strategies that you're winning. 23. Tune Into And Adjust Your Powerhouse: so tune in and adjust your body language. The key idea here is that you want to occasionally check your body language. Why is this so important? Well, it might be obvious, but body language, how you use your body is the key, one of the keys to be in a confident person. It's essential for being a confident person, and one of the challenges is that most of us have gone through life. We've developed a set of habits when it comes to our body language that maybe not very conducive to be in a confident person. And we develop these almost mindlessly just through bad habits and bad practices and over time, maybe even our age. And so nowadays, when it comes to our body language, maybe we slouch a little bit when we don't even realize that we might be talking to somebody and we're listening to him like this, or we may not maintain good eye contact. Or when we're walking, we might drag our feet a little bits. Or maybe we're fidgety. You know, I've seen people who get up and are talking to a group of people, and they have this nervous, fidgety habit that you don't normally see in them. But when they get in front of people, it comes out and they don't even realize it. But maybe they've done it for years. It is that body in language that that horrible body language in some ways that gets in the way of being a confident person. So the important thing to do, though, is to tune in and adjust so occasionally stop even briefly. You don't have to go up, but just occasionally kind of just tune in and think about your body language and ask yourself this question. Is my body language week or is it powerful and confident? So is my body language like Mom. Giving this video right now is my body language week and my slouched in my fidgeting in my looking elsewhere. Or am I feeling powerful and confidence that what my body language reflects? Hopefully it does, But you want to do that and check in on that occasionally and adjust slowly if necessary. Obviously, if you're talking to somebody and you're kind of either doing this and you're listening to and you're fidgeting with your fingers and your kind of slouching, you don't wanna go 00 like this. But you might want to go like this. You know, if you're fidgeting, you're kind of snatching little bit is kind of as you're listening to them talk, you know, just slowly. So you have tuned in, you check it, realize that you need to make an adjustment and do it in a subtle way that doesn't come across like, What's this weirdo dio? Okay, now, this idea of tuning into your body language because your body language is just part of your everyday life in your habits, it could be a challenge to tune into something like that, to ask yourself occasionally, Say, what's my body language like right now so you can make it better. And one of the best ways of doing that, though, is toe have a trigger, an event that you are find yourself in and really highlight that event as a something that will trigger in your mind the idea to check your body language. And we've got some examples on the right side of the page here. We're gonna discuss about discuss those in just a second. But it's this trigger that you give yourself that tells you your mind to tune in to say Stop! Hey, look, you're experiencing this event. Time to stop for just a second to none of your body language and adjust as necessary and old habits die hard. It's gonna be a challenge to do this. If you're a slouch, er and a fidget er and you drag your feet, it's gonna take some time to get past that. But with time and consistency, you can do it. So let's talk about implementation using these triggers. So here's some implementation ideas. When I am listening to someone speak. So tell yourself when I am listening to someone speak, then I will make sure that I'm looking them in the eye. I will make sure that my hands are still and I will make sure that I am standing up straight. So when I'm talking to someone, that's the recipe, so to speak that you want to play out. That's the trigger. When you're talking to someone, do a body check check in to see how you're standing. And if you're feeling confident when I walk when I'm walking down the street when I walk, then I will walk with a confident stride and posture again, a trigger. The trigger is walking. When I give a presentation, then I will walk with confidence to get up and give it so you know you don't fidget. You won't do this. You won't look down. You'll walk up there with confidence and you'll stand up straight while you give that presentation again. A trigger the trigger being When I give a presentation, you can come up with your own kind of processes triggers that will you can use to ignite confidence or a body check so you can adjust your body is necessary and enter that situation and experience that situation with this much confidence as possible. 24. Tap Into The Rocket Fuel For Unstoppable Confidence: So you want to get moving, and the key idea here is that you want to become a physical force, power and energy, because when you think about confidence, confidence is, ah, high energy skill or trait. It requires some power requires energy. And so if you're feeling weak and fatigued all the time, it's going to be very, very difficult to achieve the level of confidence that you want because it requires physical energy in order to do it successfully at the level that you probably want to achieve. So when we think about physical energy, what does that come from? Well, often times. Most of the time it comes from the things we eat. That's true, but it also comes from the way that we move. It requires us to move some, because when we move, what does that do that generates that gets your blood pumping that gets our oxygen flowing to our body, that gets our muscles moving, and so that kind of translates into feeling great and gives us that energy, that physical energy that we need to be powerful and force of confidence. Not only does it make us feel internally gives us that physical energy. But another thing that physical movement does is it makes us feel better about ourselves. Because when we're moving on a constant basis, when we're actually getting some exercise in our life and and moving around, it's a posted, maybe just sitting around all the time. We look better, we feel better. And that just kind of translates into more confidence. We have a better self image of ourselves simply by movie. Now, when you think about energy also, it has this effect on obstacles. And I talked about this earlier in the course. But when you think about obstacles, you can look at yourself as maybe being in this this little car here and as you're going through life, you come across in obstacle that looks like this mountain. And if you have very little low energy, like if you're puttering along here and your vehicle on life, your body has very low energy. When you get to one of these obstacles, one of these things that cause you fear cause you anxiety and you have very little fuel in the tank or your fuel is pretty weak. Then you get to that. You're gonna look at that it's gonna seem overwhelming to you because you just don't have the energy, the off that you need to overcome it. And you know that. You know that you're driving a clunker, I hate to say, but you may know that you're driving a clunker because maybe you've allowed yourself to become a couch potato, perhaps. And so you get to these obstacles, you just don't even deal with him. You turn around and you just don't mess with it. And this, this is where confidence is needed. Confidence is needed to get over these obstacles. So when you have physical energy, it's like putting rocket fuel in your car as you're traveling. So when you get to this point where you have this rocket fuel in your car and you get to one of these mountains, that looks like an obstacle. You think you know this is gonna be a little bit of a bump on my road, but you're gonna power right through it. You're gonna go over it, cross it and get to the other side, and you're gonna feel amazing because you did it. But you need the energy you need the physical energy to do something like this. You can't talk yourself into doing something like this very easily, if at all. You need the physical energy to make it possible. Now the great thing is, let me put my pin up here. Theglobe eight thing is that when you do something like this, it doesn't require a gym. The gym's not required. You know, you don't have to be a person that's a bodybuilder. It just requires some simple, doable actions, things that you couldn't do anywhere, any time without a gym to get your body moving on a regular basis. So let's talk about how to implement this, how to practice something like this so you can get that physical energy. So here is Here's the challenge, based on the lessons sheet here, the challenges that for the next 7 to 30 days I challenge myself to get up from my chair every 30 to 60 minutes and move for one minute. Even if thats around your office, just kind of walk around by chance or walk, go up and down the stairs. If you have stairs or even walk around the house, just get up and move. Don't just stay in the chair all day. Get up and move. Number two A very common way of getting more movement in your life is to park farther away . So don't always look for the closest parking space. But look for opportunities that you can put yourself in that will allow you to exert some physical energy. Parking far away is one of them. So look for those opportunities. Walk 3 to 5 minutes each day. And so what I like to do because I live in a cold environment, I just don't like the cold very often is that ideally going outside and walking for 3 to 5 minutes, which isn't much, is going to be your best thing to do. But if you want to kind of stay inside and you're not a big fan of going out in the cold, I like to walk around the house. So when something is is cooking or I'm brewing my tea. I have a few minutes to do that. So I actually, you just walk around the house at a in a fast pace, and you would be amazed how energetic that could make you feel if you're moving your arms and walking around. Just walk around the house, take the stairs, do the stairs. Whenever you have an opportunity again, look for opportunities to exert your your physical ability and to build that energy. Now this this lesson isn't about teaching you how to be a fitness expert. But there are some references here on the lesson sheet that if you want more ideas than this, you can look at those on how to do. There's a four minute workout, seven minute workout. So if you don't have a whole lot of time there, right actually workouts that are very effective and achieving good high energy that don't take more than four minutes and also some ideas on how to start walking more walking is one of the best ways that you can boost your energy because it's simple. You know how to do it already. Doesn't take any special skills. Special tools, special machines. You can just do it right now, but sometimes we need some ideas and some motivation for doing it, so there are some ways to search how to do that easily. So just challenge yourself. Challenge yourself for the next 30 days to look for opportunities. Small simple, doable things that you can do to boost your energy so you can become a physical force of power and energy, which will enable you to achieve greater confidence. 25. Get Rid Of These Negative Rituals: So you want to eliminate nervous habits? Key idea here is you want to get rid of nervous behaviors, things that you do on a regular basis, that our reflection of how you feel inside and let's dig into that a little bit more and look at the face of nervousness. Now, when you have a nervous sensation or you're feeling nervous inside feeling of insecurity, it manifests itself externally in a lot of different ways. Of course, we'll probably familiar with biting your nails. You know, that's one face of nervous picking skin around your nails, perhaps twirling your hair if you have it or drumming on a table. That's the face of nervousness. That's what it looks like externally. And of course, there are things like smoking. That's one way that nervousness manifests itself in the physical reality. And so all these things you might see them. And if you practice one of these, you have a nervousness inside of you that's manifesting itself in some way Now. These behaviors, though arm or than, ah, momentary state of nervousness, because when you practice a nervous habit, it not only puts you in an instant state of insecurity, so if you start biting your nails if you notice the sensation inside of you And I used to be like this, you bite your nails and you pick it the skin or whatever it may be. If you take a moment just to stop and notice how you feel. You're feeling a sense of anxiety or nervousness at that point, and so it instantly contributes. You're feeling nervous, so you practice this habit, and because you practice this habit, you feel more nervous and anxious. And so it's the cycle that goes on. But it doesn't just simply end when you're done practicing the habit after you're done smoking the cigarette or after you bit a nail off to the point where your finger bleeds. I used to do that, but it doesn't just end there. The sense of nervousness. It goes a lot deeper than that because when you are constantly practicing these habits thes nervous habits, I I like to say that what it does is it maintains a low confidence thermostat setting, so it hinders your ability to feel confident on it ongoing general basis. So if you want a confidence level of 90% so to speak out of 100. If you want 90% in your life, you want to be that kind of person, but you practice a nervous habit. It's going to be hard to achieve that because that nervous habit practice constantly, is going to keep you somewhat in a state of insecurity or nervousness or anxiousness. And that's going to kind of lower your overall confidence thermostat inside of you to 70. So you need to eliminate that state of nervousness, that that habit that you practice because it goes beyond just the moment. Now there's an old idea from a Cherokee proverb that says, If you feed one wolf, you starve another. So the basic idea is there are two wolves inside of you battling for each other ones, good ones, evil. In this case, one is confidence. One is insecurity, and these two wolves are battling inside of you. And which one wins Well, the one that you feed because the one that you feed gross, but the one that you starve dies. So you've got to give that good wolf that confidence wolf something to feed on, which are all the ideas and the principles and strategies that you're learning in this course, But you also have to starve the bad, the nervous habits you have to get rid of them. And here's why. Because when you feed both, if you're trying to build up your confidence on one side, that's the good. The good wolf trying to feed the confidence wolf on one side. But you're also feeding the insecurity wolf by these bad habits. They counter act each other, so they just kind of cancel each other out in a large way. And so the for maximum results to get the absolute best results. You want to feed your confidence. Do these exercises thes strategies These practices that you're learning in this course? But you also have to starve anything that is generating nervousness and anxiety inside of you, which are these nervous habits. So if you do nothing else, if you do nothing else when it comes to building your confidence. If you have a bad nervous habit, do whatever it takes to get rid of that nervous habit and you'll see a dramatic impact in your level of confidence. Now this course isn't about getting rid of bad habits, and so there are so many different ways of doing these things. So I just want to share with you that the the page that has the information on they're about eliminating a nervous habit. You'll find some links to Google searches and YouTube searches for eliminating some of these habits, breaking a nervous habit. Click on that. You'll go to Google. Click on this. You go to YouTube and find information about how to break a nervous habit. How to stop biting your nails, how to start. Stop picking your cuticles, the skin around your fingernails, or even how to do something like Stop smoking. And so if a nervous habit is part of your makeup and who you are and what you're doing, you've got to eliminate it Used. These resource is, and you'll find that your confidences is greatly enhanced as a result, 26. Use The Incredible Confidence Generator Sitting Right Under Your Nose: So here's one of my favorite ways of boosting confidence. I call it practicing freestyle expression. What is freestyle expression? I'll explain it in just a minute. But first, let's look at the key idea behind the strategy, which is that you congenital rate confidence, by simply speaking out loud may seem unbelievable. But it's true, and I'll give you some proof to show you that it is true. So what is this power of expressing yourself? Well, we've learned in this course up to this point that external confidence is important. How you stand, how you look, your posture, your eye contact your hand shake things like that are all important parts of what make up your confidence and your level of confidence. But even more important is your internal confidence, how you feel about yourself, how you feel, your emotions and how you express yourself. Because when you think about it, your external confidence when you stand up straight, when you have great eye contact and when you walk with some power and confidence, what does that do well has an internal effect on you, and that's the positive benefit of doing it. So if if you really want to focus on changing how you feel internally. One of the best ways is to go right to the source and and use a method that changes your emotions almost instantly and which affects how you feel and how your confidence comes across. So here's the main idea. When you express or speak with power and authority out loud, then you become a person of power and authority and let me give you a couple of examples. Let's say that you hear your favorite song on the radio. What do you typically do? Well, most people when they hear their favorite song, you know they jump up if they're by themselves or maybe you're in your car, you crank it up and you start just moving a little bit and you start singing out loud at the top of your lungs. And in that very moment, how do you feel? You probably feel invincible, unstoppable, you know, tons of confidence where you can actually do it. Just about anything. You're motivated and you feel awesome because you're seeing at the top of your lungs while listening to this music. Now what would the experience be if you change things up a little bit and you heard the song. But instead of singing out loud, you just you know, you started humming a little bit and not really vocalizing and singing out singing out loud . It wouldn't be as exciting and powerful oven experience with it. There's something about vocalizing it, saying it out loud that boosts your energy and power. Here's another example. Let's say you're at a game for your favorite sports team and they score a point or multiple points, depending on the game. And what do the fans maybe you included, do well typically responses to jump up out of your seat and just yelling, Go Yes, you know you're vocalizing out loud, some something that excites you, and as a result, you feel it internally. Now take that same experience where your team scores a point. Instead of jumping up and screaming at the top of your lungs about how excited you are, you go, you know ST not the same effect. It's not the same effect at all, because vocalizing is what changes it. Saying something out loud gives it energy. Now here's the challenge. This is a natural thing that we typically do But the challenges that modern society is kind of hindered us in doing this, because communication is becoming more and more about emails, text messages and so expressing oneself. Expressing yourself may not be something that you do at the level that you used to, or the level that you can and you it is possible for you. And as a result, expressing yourself out loud is what I feel is a dying art. People are learning to do there, talking and expressing their ideas, their thoughts, their emotions in different ways, not out of their mouth. And it really is causing them to be socially restricted. Or they kind of go to themselves. And they don't communicate like they used to, which is a real problem when it comes to expressing confidence. So what's the solution? Solution is very simple. It's an exercise, which is what I was calling freestyle expression. And here's what freestyle expression is. You take a topic, something that you know pretty well, something that you've learned an idea that you could teach someone else whatever it may be . And then you think of 3 to 5 points to talk about that thing, and then you start talking just off the top, your head on your feet Start talking out loud about that thing, explaining what it is white matters and how to use it. Now what? Why and how may not be applicable in all circumstances. I'll give you some ideas of things that you can talk about. It may not be Those particular answers to questions may not be applicable to all the ideas I share with you, but the main idea is to really convey something of meaning and value. When you're talking about this thing, you want to pretend that you're teaching it to somebody an imaginary student or you're telling a story that you're really excited about. So you take a topic. Think of 3 to 5 points to talk about and you start talking out loud, explain what it is, why it matters and how to use it. Kind of like what you are hearing me do in this video. This is my example of expressing freestyle because I have these notes here. I'm explaining what freestyle expression is why it matters and how to use it. And I'm doing this without a script. And so I'm speaking on my feet, but I do this all the time. Otherwise, when I'm in my car or taking a shower as well, talk about here in just a second. And you do this and you're gonna find that you're able to express yourself on a higher level than you ever have before. And that is going to have an internal impact on how you feel your emotions, your power and your confidence. Now, this might be hard for you. Initially, it is for most people, and so a way to ease into it would be too. Maybe read from a book with clarity and emotion. And what I mean is that you find a book that is an inspirational book or something inspirational to read, and then you read it like you are trying to give it life. You know, You read it with clarity, read it accurately and you read it with emotion. You bring it to life when you're reading it, and great inspirational stories are a great mean, a really nice way of doing this. So look for something not just a technical manual. Obviously you're not gonna get much benefit from doing that, But something inspirational that you can read and say it out loud. Read it out loud with clarity and emotion. Now, how does this affect you? What's this going to do to you as you practice this freestyle expression? Well, for one thing, it teaches you to speak confidently without judgment, which is a challenge for most people. And it's one of those things. That kind of a roadblock to being a confident person is being able to convey your own ideas without wondering what people think about you. Well, when you do this in the comfort of your own living room, office, car, whatever, just speaking to an imaginary person out loud, expressing your ideas, it teaches you to speak without judgment. You just don't care. You just speak. You say what's on the top of your at the top of your mind, or or that you're feeling at that moment. You just do it and you're not worried about what other people are thinking, and that's going to create this mo mentum, this internal mo mentum and energy inside of you that's a positive. Next thing is that boost your ability to speak clearly and with power again, this kind of ties in with the first point there. But most people have a challenge expressing their ideas. They're not only wondering what other people are thinking, but they're trying. Teoh really bring their ideas together so they make sense, coherent sentence. And so this is really gonna boost your ability to speak clearly in with power. And again you learn to do that. It's just going to have a side benefit of boosting your confidence. And here's one of the Big East. The third effect that it's gonna have it on you is that it helps you to get familiar with the state confidence. So when you do this exercise on an ongoing basis, you do it with some emotion. You're going to feel a difference in in your body and and your emotions and you do that enough. You're gonna raise your confidence thermostat on an ongoing basis so that your overall confidence as you go through life is going to increase. You're gonna get used to that feeling so you can use it in any part of your life. So let's talk about implementing this particular strategy. So here's the win. I then I okay, and some of these might look at kind of crazy, but nonetheless, this is how you do it. And if you do this without any kind of reservation and you just do it, you're going to see a major difference in your confidence level. So when I am driving in my car, when I'm taking a shower, when I'm waiting for my tea to brew, or when I have 123 free minutes, then I will practice freestyle expression. So that's pretty obvious, right? Let's say exit, for example. You're in your car and you're driving to work or whatever it may be. Think of a topic. Come up with 1 to 3 things to talk about and then talk about what it iss, why it matters and how to use it with feeling and emotion, like you're trying to teach somebody what, you trying to inspire somebody. And as you're doing this, people are gonna drive by. They're gonna think that you're crazy, but that's all right. I don't think that you're crazy because you're building a better you so even do this in the shower. And if if you don't want to come across annoying and waking up your family or your roommate . Whatever it may be, one of the best ways of doing this is you can act like you're vocalizing. You know you can open your mouth and give your body a sense of power. But just keep your voice quiet. You know you go. Yes, that's great. That's awesome, you know, just kind of get into it without actually using your voice. But you are conveying the idea of energy anyway. So here's the challenge. Also, for the next 7 to 30 days, I challenged myself to spend at least two minutes a day practicing freestyle expression. Do this. Do this for 30 days and watch what it does to your sense of confidence in power. Now here's some ideas on things that you might want to express. Some freestyle expression prompts if you will explain something you know about how to do. Is there a skill that you have that you can teach somebody an imaginary student? Do that describe the family member and why you love them. Your spouse, your sister, your brother, your mother, your dad. Just talk like you're telling somebody else about this person and you want that other person to just fall in love with the person you're talking about as much as you do. Describe what you did on your last vacation in vivid detail. That's an easy one for most people because we love talking about those kind of things and just do it tell Pretend you're telling a story and doing it in your car when there's nobody with you. Pretend to tell somebody something. Someone's everything that you wanted to tell them in real life. Get it off your chest. Talk about a future vacation. Explain something you learned recently. Pick a random topic. Express everything you know about It recalls some main points about something you learn from a book. So these are just some starter ideas, but you get the point, the point being that you want to express yourself out loud on an ongoing basis. You do this. It's gonna have a massive, massive impact on your confidence 27. Practice This Simple 2-Minute Exercise To Unleash Your Inner Beast: So let's talk about the first exercise, which is the power pose, or to stand and feel confident for two minutes. This is one of the best exercises you can do for developing confidence and really boosting it any time you might need it. So let's begin by talking about the origins. Ah, power posing. Where did this idea come from? Well, it came from a Harvard professor by the name of Amy Cuddy and Amy, After doing some research, realized that when people stand a certain way and I'm gonna show you that way in just a minute or so, when people stand a certain way that it has a biological effect on their body and as a result, how they feel and how they approach a situation just simply by standing or taking a certain pose for two minutes. It has this awesome confidence building effect, and she's shared that with the world and made her famous because it's so simple, and you can do it anywhere. So let's talk about the process. Power posing as developed by Amy Cuddy It's real simple. All you have to do is stand with your feet about shoulder width apart and then put your arms. I prefer doing it this way. Put your arms your hands on your waist like this in a very powerful pose. Kind of like you're a superhero. Or you could do your hands behind your back like this. Or you could put your hands out like this. The idea is to come across like you're fearless. And this is when you stand like this, or like this or with your hands behind your back. That's kind of like a biological way of showing others and not only others, but also feeling that you are invincible because normally when you feel vulnerable, you cover your the front of your body. And so this is a way of really showing that you feel fearless and confident. So you stand like this is the way I prefer to do it. Stand like this for two minutes. And while you're standing like this, you want to feel confident you don't just stand like this ago. Okay? You know the time. Time up yet Now you want to feel confident. You want to feel powerful, and you might even while you do this, this is optional. Say an affirmation when your favorite affirmations while you're doing the power pose exercise, you might say I am feeling confident. I am feeling powerful. I am going to do an awesome job. And while you're doing this, you could even nod your head up and down like, Yeah, I'm going to do this. I'm gonna pull this off. And so you spend just two minutes feeling and putting yourself in a powerful pose that after that two minutes you are on fire. And what makes what's the effect on the onion? How does this really work from a biological standpoint? Well, it does a couple of things. The first thing it does is by doing this for two minutes and really getting into it, feeling it and really experiencing the feeling of confidence. One of the things it does is it lowers your stress hormone called cortisol. And so when you're stress hormone quarter Saul drops. Obviously, that's going to have a positive effect on your confidence, but it does something else. In addition to lowering your court a song and that that stress hormone, it also boosts your testosterone and ladies. That's that's okay. It's a good thing because we all have that and it's gonna boost your testosterone to the point where you feel powerful. And the hormones that kick in to give you that sensation of power and confidence are going to increase simply by stem standing this way. So it generates confidence. And the great thing about this exercise power posing is that it could be done anywhere any time. You don't need any extra equipment or anything else like that. You just do this for two minutes and say your affirmation, nod your head, whatever it may be and really get into it. And that's what makes it such an awesome confidence building exercise. So let's talk about implementation, how to implement this in everyday life. So we have a an implementation exercise here, and that is when I start my day what I'm about to give a presentation. When I'm about to talk to someone, or when I need a boost of confidence, I will do a power post. So if you start your day like this, or if you're about ready to give a presentation of some sort, you probably wouldn't want to do this on stage or somewhere where you could see how that other people could see you, but find a quiet place if you can, and just stand for two minutes confidently before you give a presentation, Go into a meeting, whatever it may be that you need some extra confidence and do this. Exercise challenges for the next 7 to 30 days is I challenged myself to do a power pose and choose a time first thing in the morning. It might be a good time or before you start work. If you feel like you need some extra confidence before you start work, tell yourself before I start work every single day, I will stand for two minutes like this and do a power post. You do this and it will be an awesome, awesome way to boost your confidence. 28. Thank You: Well, you've reached the end of the course, and I'd like to just take a second to say thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time and the energy and your resource is to get the course and go through it. And it's my hope that you got massive value out of it right now, and that will continue to give you massive value long into the future. So thank you very, very much. Now, before you go, I have two small requests. One is that if you really like the course and you think it provided great value for you, please leave a review. Look at the top of the page here for a place to leave a review. And if you only want to leave a star rating, that's great. But if you have an opportunity, you wanna share your words and your thoughts about the course specifically by writing a review, that's even better. I would appreciate that because that helps get the word out on the course that it might be valuable to others, and if you could do that, I would really appreciate it. Second request is equally as simple, and that is if you can think of any ways that the course could be improved. Whatever that maybe you have an idea for the course. If you have a ni idea for how I present it, just please share in the discussion area of the course, and I will definitely check it out. Look it over and I use this feedback to improve not only current courses but also upcoming courses that I have planned. So let's get the collective thinking of everyone involved to make thes courses as valuable as we possibly can. And I'll take those ideas and implement the ones that I think really make a huge difference . So share your thoughts on I would appreciate that as well. So again, thank you very much. And I hope you have an amazing day.