How Do You Show Up? - Practicing Emotional Intelligence | Inez Jordan | Skillshare

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How Do You Show Up? - Practicing Emotional Intelligence

teacher avatar Inez Jordan, Executive and Professional Dev Coach

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

15 Lessons (59m)
    • 1. HDYSU 1 Intro New

    • 2. HDYSU 2 What are emotions

    • 3. HDYSU 3 What is EI

    • 4. HDYSU 4 Why is EI Important

    • 5. HDYSU 5 How Many

    • 6. HDYSU 6 Bad Emotions

    • 7. HDYSU 7 Negative Thoughts

    • 8. HDYSU 8 Triggers

    • 9. HDYSU 09 Key List

    • 10. HDYSU 10 SA

    • 11. HDYSU 11 SM

    • 12. HDYSU 12 SoA

    • 13. HDYSU 13 RM

    • 14. HDYSU 14 Leaders

    • 15. HDYSU 15 Finale

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About This Class


"How Do You Show Up? - Practicing Emotional Intelligence"


Are you feeling " invisible" or "out of touch" in the workplace? Would you like to change the way you are perceived by others and get more recognition and respect?  Do you want to build more positive and trusting relationships with your management and peers?

This course  will take you step by step through Emotional Intelligence lectures and practices to influence your abilities to:


If this topic has got you "energized" to learn more, you are in the right place.

This course will take you from feelings of "Powerless" to "Powerful" in 15 short lectures and practices. You will to learn to apply emotional intelligence to be more in control of yourself, your emotions, and understand how you can positively impact your work environment.  This course will help you build the skills to become a key contributor and build better trusting relationships with your management and peers.

You will learn about Emotional Intelligence (EI), the benefits of applying the EI skillsets, and how to begin practicing and realizing the benefits right away in the workplace. You will learn how to be more aware and how to tap into your powers to decide how you will respond to situations that trigger your emotions.

Each lesson is followed by a journal prompt that encourages you to reflect upon the lesson, capture your thoughts about the topic, and consider how you will practice applying what you have learned to GET RESULTS!

Join today and GET NOTICED and GET RESULTS, impacting "HOW DO YOU SHOW UP?" by practicing  emotional intelligence.

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Inez Jordan

Executive and Professional Dev Coach


As a reflective business and emotional intelligence coach, I partner with clients to enhance personal presence and build key leadership and emotional intelligence skills.

As a Leadership Development Consultant and Professional Development coach, I have worked with hundreds of clients to help them identify and set goals, identify their blind spots, address negative thoughts and impostor syndrome, and set goals and plans for future achievement and career success. 

I am an Emotional Intelligence Certified Coach (EICC) through the Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence Coaching and Training Program. (1st Cohort - 3Q - 2019).

I am a Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach and trainer, authorized by Multi-Health Systems Inc. (MHS) to administer the EQ-i 2.0 A... See full profile

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1. HDYSU 1 Intro New: Hi, and welcome to "How do you show up? Practicing emotional intelligence? The course title includes the phrase, How do you show up? And you may be wondering, what did I mean by that? Well, knowing about emotional intelligence is not enough. You can only realize the true benefits by applying the skills and practicing emotional intelligence everyday. Intentionally deciding how you will respond to triggers and negative thoughts and surprising situations. Basically, how will you show up? It's not knowing, but doing. My name is Inez Jordan. I'm a certified emotional intelligence coach and trainer. And for the past 10 years, I've been training and coaching people just like you who are interested in learning more about emotions, emotional intelligence and its benefits. And more importantly, how to practice emotional intelligence in order to make a difference in their lives and achieve their goals. So to get you thinking about how do you show up? I've got a few key questions. How are you perceived by your peers? When people describe you, Do they use words like "hothead" or "moody" or "sensitive" or "out of control"? Is your message clear? Or are you often misunderstood, Were you passed over for a recent promotion that you thought you were qualified for? Do you have good listening skills? Or are you easily distracted or on the cell phone when other people are talking? Do you have good relationships? And how do you nurture those relationships? And finally, are you the one person that everyone wants to have on their team? If any of these questions have caused you to pause and think, then this course is for YOU. During our time together, I will break down all of the misconceptions about emotional intelligence and provide a solid foundation of knowledge about emotions, emotional intelligence, and the benefits to success and achieving your goals. We will discuss the many types of emotions and negative thoughts and what triggers them and how they impact your body. I'll define the four key competencies of emotional intelligence. Describing some of the key skill sets of each competency, providing hints and tips on how to practice them. And in addition, I'll cover emotional intelligence for successful leaders. During this course, you'll be encouraged to use the provided journal template to create and update your very own personal emotional intelligence journal. Journaling is an excellent way to improve your self-awareness. It helps you to see patterns and habits and think about where they came from and how you might want to change them. You can journal anytime. Some people meditate and journal when they awake in the morning. Others chose to journal at the end of the day when they're winding down and reflecting on the day's activities. Research has proven that people who journal are more successful. And that writing things down helps you to clear your head and make more important connections between your thoughts and feelings and behaviors. Plan to set aside maybe 30 minutes to think about your journal entries after each one of our sessions. The journals will serve as a takeaway after this course, allowing you to continue tracking your progress after the course is done. Please click the bonus link below to download the journal template so that you can be ready to apply your learning as we're going through each one of the lessons, I'll provide journal prompts and key questions throughout the course that you can write about in your journal, reinforcing what you're learning and challenging you to think about how you might apply the knowledge to your daily interactions. After this course, you'll have a better understanding of yourself, what triggers your emotions and how to manage them. In addition, you should also notice a change in "How do you show up at work, at home, at school, with your friends and family and in public? I piqued your interest? Enroll now and let's get started realizing the benefits of emotional intelligence. Right away. 2. HDYSU 2 What are emotions: Hello and welcome back. The topic for today's lesson is "What are emotions? And can they be ignored?" By definition, an emotion is a natural, instinctive state of mind derived from one's circumstances, moods, or relationships with other people. The three parts of the motion are sensations in the body, thoughts and feelings in the mind, and emotional urges or actions or behaviors. People who ignore or dismiss or repress emotions are setting themselves up for physical illness. Research shows that the effects of consistent emotional suppression includes increased physical stress on your body, high blood pressure, increased incidence of diabetes, and also heart disease. And also people who regularly suppress emotions are often less aware of the signals that they are sending to other people and also less aware of the social cues that they are presenting in their daily conversations. Emotions are a reliable indicator of what's really going on with us. There are many ways to identify and respond to emotions, and you have to choose the manner that is best for you. Recognizing and naming or identifying emotions helps us to build better relationships. That's because being aware of an emotion can help us to talk about our feelings more easily, avoid and resolve conflicts better and move past difficult feelings more easily. The class project for this lesson is to journal about your thoughts concerning expressing or suppressing your emotions. Journal about the physical impact of emotions on your body. Thanks, and I'll see you in the next video. 3. HDYSU 3 What is EI: Hi and welcome back. The focus of today's lesson is, "What is emotional intelligence and what are some of the benefits?" Emotional intelligence is a set of emotional and social skills that collectively established how well we 1)perceive and express ourselves, 2) develop and maintain social relationships, 3) how we cope with challenges and 4) how we use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way. Having the skills and the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions and those of others leads to healthier, happier and more productive lives. If you were to Google emotional intelligence, you would find that there are several definitions. However, what I love about the research that I've done is the fact that the majority of these definitions consistently highlight the four key elements of emotional intelligence. And those are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. The top two, as shown in this diagram, are self-awareness and self-management. As you can see here, self-awareness focuses on being aware of ourselves and our feelings and our thoughts. Who are you as a person and what are your values? Self-management is when you step back and think about how do I feel? I understand this emotion now. I want to make a conscious decision about how I want to manage it, how I want to behave. The bottom row in this diagram focuses on the social related components of emotional intelligence. This is how we relate to others. Social awareness is being aware of other people, showing empathy, understanding the feelings of others, working with others, getting along. The second part of the social aspect of emotional intelligence is relationship management. And in this one you talk about what are the types of relationships that you have. How do you nurture those relationships? Are you a good team player? We will cover each one of these four (4) emotional intelligence competencies in a dedicated lesson. Now I want to talk a little bit about what emotional intelligence is and what it's not. Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time. It's about being honest about your feelings. Emotional intelligence is about being aware of your feelings and the feelings of others. And finally, emotional intelligence is not about being emotional. It's about being smart about your emotion. Emotional intelligence is about making an intentional decision, about "how you will show up". Several studies have been done, and it turns out that 71% of hiring managers have indicated that an employee with a high emotional intelligence is more important than a potential candidate with a strong IQ. 90% of the top performers have a high emotional intelligence. 80 percent of Fortune 500 companies have HR policies that evaluating emotional intelligence ratings for new candidates. And 59% of managers have said that they would not hire someone with a high IQ and a low EQ. A higher emotional intelligence yields a 77 percent increase and employee engagement results. So the key to this course is that you will be allowed time between each lesson to think and journal about what you've learned. For your class project, journal about the four emotional intelligence competencies and think about areas that you might be interested in exploring. To list them again, they are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Thanks, and I'll see you in the next video. 4. HDYSU 4 Why is EI Important: Hi and welcome back. The topic for today's discussion is "Why is emotional intelligence important?" "What are some of the benefits?" Studies have shown that for all jobs of all levels and kinds, emotional intelligence is twice as important as IQ in being successful in the job. History is full of brilliant and successful men and women who failed miserably or under achieved in the classroom and whose teachers or guidance counselors viewed as a disappointment. Evidence has now proven that success in school does not automatically equate to a successful career or success in life. These success stories must be based on some other skill set that these folks have! It is the ability to tune into the world, to be aware of situations and connect with others while taking charge of their own life. If you stop and think about your friends or family, coworkers or others that you interact with during the day, whom do you consider to be the most successful? Which of them seems to have the fullest or happiest life? Are they necessarily the smartest? Most likely they have other characteristics or skills that support their ability to achieve their goals. Research proves that it is at least as important to be emotionally and socially intelligent as it is to be cognitively or analytically intelligent. IQ is a measurement of your intellect, your analytical, logical, and rational abilities. It gauges how easily you learn new tasks, memorize and recall information, applied reasoning, and solve problems. We all know people who can pass an IQ test would ease , but they're lacking in their personal or work-life or relationships. They don't get along with others well and most times, they can't figure out why. The reason is they're lacking in emotional intelligence, which is defined for this course, as a set of emotional and social skills that influenced the way that we perceive and express ourselves. Develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way. With emotional intelligence, we can assess our strengths as well as be open to viewing and challenging our limitations, assumptions or unconscious biases and self limiting beliefs. We are aware of political and social environments. And we can show empathy for ourselves and for others. We can manage our stress and we're overall pleasant to be around. So in summary, EQ, or the measurement of emotional intelligence does not replace IQ. They are actually complimentary. Iq is a necessary foundation. You need IQ to understand what EQ is and what it can do for you and to put in the time to practice and enhance your EQ skills. In fact, the higher your IQ, the more important your EQ, which is the measurement of your emotional intelligence. It is actually enhancing how you show up. You may be a mastermind, but if you cannot communicate well or are unable or unaware of how you relate to other people, you're in trouble. If you are boastful or rude or impulsive, no one is going to stick around long enough to hear your wonderful ideas. IQ enables you to build a rocket, but it's your EQ that allows you to soar. Plan to show up as your best self. So for example, imagine getting called into your supervisor's office. What goes through your mind? What am I being called in for? What have I done wrong? What have I done right? Generally, people tend to feel that something bad is going to happen, such as being reprimanded or fired. We often make decisions with little or no information. Re-framing our beliefs, however, can improve our ability to understand our environment because we allow ourselves to challenge and reorganize our irrational beliefs. For your class project, journal about your thoughts on what your best self might look like. Include in your journal, any thoughts on areas where you would like to improve your emotional intelligence. Where would you like to show up differently. Thanks, and I'll see you in the next video. 5. HDYSU 5 How Many: Hi and welcome back. Today's lesson's topic is "How many emotions are there?" And we'll talk about the Mood Meter. How many emotions are there? Most research concludes that there are seven basic emotions. And these emotions have certain facial expressions associated with them. Like anger or sadness or disgust, fear, contempt, happiness, or surprise. Research confirms that our feelings have a huge influence on our decisions. and yet often in the moment, we are unaware of the influence our emotions have on our behavior. The Mood Meter was designed by Yale University to help us learn to recognize emotions in ourselves and in others. Through practice, we learn to manage emotions intentionally and successfully. Basically, we decide how we want to show up. So take a look at this diagram. The Mood Meter provides us with language to describe our emotions. It is divided into four quadrants. Four different colors, and each represents a specific set of feelings according to the level of pleasantness and the level of energy. So if you take a look at the red section, those feelings are high in energy and low in pleasantness. So in this category we have anger, scared, anxious. Now take a look at the blue section. In this area we have low energy and low pleasantness. So here we see sadness, disappointment, and lonely. And then the green section, we see low energy and high pleasantness. So in this cas,e the person is calm, tranquil, and relaxed. And finally, the yellow section. This is the section for high-energy and high pleasantness. These are the folks who are happy or excited, curious. These are the emotions that we find when we look at the yellow quadrant. So if you find words to describe how you feel at the time and even better, what's causing the feeling. You will automatically become more aware. You have options. You can decide that you don't want to feel the way did you do. You can decide that your feelings are about things in your past rather than the situation at hand. And finally, you can begin to think about how is my feeling or my behavior impacting others? How is my behavior going to impact the rest of the team or my family? These are all awareness type activities that you can intentionally decide how you want to respond or behave based on the emotion that you're feeling. For the class project, Use the Mood Meter over the next few days. Make a note of how you feel. Make a note of specific emotions that you're experiencing and try to use the Mood Meter to categorize the emotions and journal about what you find. Then make a practice of applying this awareness to your daily experiences. And I'll see you in the next video. 6. HDYSU 6 Bad Emotions: Hi and welcome back. The topic for this lesson is, "Are there bad emotions?" There is no such thing as a bad emotion. Each emotion that we experience during the day is important. We need to first acknowledge it, name it, and then investigate to understand why we feel the way that we do or why we have behaved as we did. For example, Anger has a bad reputation. However, upon investigation, Anger is just a symptom of another emotion, like fear or jealousy, or sadness or anxiety. Asking why you feel the way you do is very important. This is hard work, but it is so beneficial to your professional development, to your personal life. We can learn from every emotion and then make a conscious or intentional decision about how we want to respond to it or how we want to behave. So it's a great opportunity to stop. Breathe. Notice what's going on and recognize that we drive our emotions. Our emotions do not drive us. The class project is to journal about how emotions influence your decision-making. What we're practicing here is self-awareness. Taking a step back to take a deep breath and makes sure that the decision that we're making are based on facts rather than emotions. Make entries in your journal. And I'll see you in the next video. 7. HDYSU 7 Negative Thoughts: Hello and welcome back. The topic for today's lesson is "Negative thoughts". Research has shown that the average person has between 12,000 and 60, 000 thoughts per day. That's a lot of information. How many of those thoughts do you think are negative? Studies have proven that 70 to 80 percent of our thoughts during the day are negative and 90% of those thoughts are the very same thoughts that we had yesterday. Based on that information, we now understand that there is a lot of head trash. So we need to develop a plan for how we're going to empty our heads of all of those negative thoughts. How are we going to manage those negative thoughts? Consider, "You do not have to believe everything that you think". Particularly because our brains are conditioned to focus on the worst or the most negative thoughts. First, let's consider, you must make a conscious effort to think positively. Ask yourself a few questions. Is the thought really true? Is this something that I actually have some control over, or is this beyond my control? Is there evidence? So let's talk a little bit around what a person with a positive outlook might look like. Well, basically, this type of person will think very, very highly of others. They expect to be accepted by others. They're positive about their aspirations and their goals, and they're not afraid of the reaction of other people. They work hard for people who demand high standards. And that's an interesting one because that means that they will actually put forth more effort when they know more effort is required. There are also finally, more comfortable defending themselves against negative comments that come from other people. While on the other hand, a person who had a negative outlook or who's experiencing negative emotions, what do they actually look like? They, basically, are more likely to disapprove of themselves and others. They expect to be rejected. They have lower expectations and more negative expectations. They're sensitive and sometimes they actually perform very, poorly under scrutiny. They feel easily threatened. And oftentimes find themselves in situations where they need to defend themselves. So for your class project, the challenge is to become more self-aware of your negative thoughts. So what I'd like you to do is journal about the negative thoughts that you have during the day. And then as these thoughts are occurring, practice asking yourself those first questions. Is the thought true? Is there evidence? Journal about that. And I will see you in the next video. 8. HDYSU 8 Triggers: Hi and welcome back. The topic for today's discussion is, "What are triggers?" A trigger may be something that someone says or does, a thought that may or may not be true, or pressure that you feel to perform or behave in a specific way that makes you feel uncomfortable. We can't necessarily control what triggers us, but we can learn to recognize the motion that results from the trigger. Name the motion, take a deep breath and then intentionally decide how we want to show up or behave. We can apply emotional intelligence practices to help us respond to triggers in a way that we can be proud of. The ability to pause before reacting is a key component of emotional intelligence. You remain in control of your actions rather than being at the mercy of your emotions and thoughts. Take a deep breath. The breathing delivers more oxygen to the brain and helps us to calm down so we can focus our attentions and think more clearly. Take a walk. Don't press "Send" on that angry e-mail. Revisit it later when you're calm or count to ten, manage to self-talk. These are all actions that will allow time for your cognitive brain to engage and override the emotional part of the brain, which is always ready to respond. First, consider the worst that could happen and be prepared. Plan your message. Prepare for multiple scenarios. Chose the right time and the place to respond. A person who manages his or her emotions well, wakes up happy in the morning. People like to be around folks with a positive outlook. Research shows that happy people live longer. They're optimistic. They focus on being grateful for the things that they have. The key here is to be intentional. Live in the present moment. Do things that make you happy. Carve out "me" time every day. Read a good book during lunch, watch your favorite TV shows, or wake up early to meditate or play the piano. Positive and optimistic people can "Self Soothe" or encourage themselves, or as I like to say, "they can give themselves a hug". They surround themselves with positive people and begin each day with the intention of making it the best. So to get back to our discussion, name the emotion. Understand where it's coming from or what's causing it. What is the underlying factor? And then make a conscious decision on how you're going to respond to it. Journal. I will see you in the next video. 9. HDYSU 09 Key List: Hello and welcome back. The topic for today's lesson is, "What are the key components of emotional intelligence?" As we saw in the definition of emotional intelligence, it focuses on self and others. Take a look at this diagram. The key components of emotional intelligence, our self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. The top row focuses on self. Self-awareness is a recognition skill set, and self-management is a regulation skill set. So on the topic of self-awareness, this is basically the foundation of emotional intelligence. Where we look at self-awareness, we see a person that recognizes their own emotions and how they impact their behavior. They can name their emotion. They know when they're being triggered. They know their strengths and weaknesses. And they have self-confidence about themselves and what they can and cannot do. Now let's take a look at the conscious decision on how we're going to manage it. So we're looking now into self-management. Here you control and manage your impulses and your feelings after you've named the emotion. Now it's time to manage it. Now it's time to take an initiative, be intentional, Breathe, and make a conscious decision on how you will show up, how will you behave? And finally, the last bullet here focuses on how you can easily adapt to change your flexible. This is all part of self-management. The bottom two boxes in this diagram are focused on others. So as you remember, emotional intelligence is focused on ourselves and understanding ourselves, managing ourselves, and then interacting with other people. So when it comes to social awareness, this is understanding the emotions and the needs and the concerns of other people. Empathy, where we understand what another person may be feeling or what's causing their behavior. Taking the time to focus on someone other than ourselves, picking up on the mood in the room. What does your team care about? What interests or motivates them? This is all part of your social awareness skillset. And then finally, pick up on those non-verbal cues. Watching for body language. Are people engaged? Are they listening? Are their arms folded? These are all indications of how your message is being received. And finally, the second component of others is relationship management. How do you develop and maintain good relationships? How do you nurture those relationships? Being aware of how you interact with people and actually care about how you interact with other people. Communicating clearly, stopping to ask from time to time. Do you understand? Do you have any questions?, instead of just delivering your message and not confirming that your message is actually being received properly. Or as you intended. How do you inspire or influence others? This skillset speaks to how do you make sure that you understand your audience and what they care about? And then modify your message so that it speaks to their needs. Working well in a team. This is understanding collaboration and how to work with others and how to be flexible and adaptable. Actually looking for areas where everyone can benefit or identifying a win-win situation. So in the next four lessons, we will dive into each one of the four competencies of emotional intelligence. Identify what it looks like. Talk about why it's important to talk about how to practice it and the importance of journaling about each one of these competencies. So for your class project, journal about what you've learned in this lesson. 00:04:22.760 --> 00:04:25.610 Review each one of the emotional intelligence skill sets and journal about how they show up for you. And I'll see you in the next lesson. 10. HDYSU 10 SA: Hi and welcome back. The topic for today's lesson is "How does your self-awareness show up?" Self-awareness is the ability to understand your feelings and the effect they have on your performance. The first question is, how do you feel? Paying attention to your body is very important to naming the motion. Using what you've learned about the MoodMmeter in the earlier lesson, can you name how you feel and then investigate why do I feel this way? What is the cause of this emotion? Is this something that I can control. Tune into your body so that you understand what it's trying to tell you and how it is reacting to certain circumstances. Think of a situation where you reacted in a way that you could visibly see that you were impacting someone else, either positively or negatively. Understand that all of this impacts how you are perceived by other people. Are you aware of whether or not your message is being the received in the way that you intended. How can you confirm this? Do you ask questions like, would you like me to repeat any of the information that I just shared? How can I help? All of these are ways to help the other person realize that it's okay to ask the question. It's okay to be curious. And then on the other hand, How do you make sure that you understand others? Are you comfortable asking questions? If you feel that you may be missing something or that you need more information. This requires that you know yourself and you have enough confidence to say, It's okay to ask a question. It's okay that I don't know everything and it's okay for me to say I need a bit more information. So let's talk about accurate self-assessment and what it involves. Know your strengths and weaknesses and limitations. Ask for feedback and be prepared to handle the feedback. If it's not totally positive, have a sense of humor and a perspective. Have an open mind so that you can reflect upon the feedback that you're getting and learn from your experiences. Be open to change. These are all ways to accurately perform a self-assessment on your self-awareness. So for the class project, journal about your emotions throughout the day. Think of times where you did not show up exactly as you would have liked. How do you think your behavior is perceived by other people? Can you think of a situation that you will handle differently in the future? Thank you, and I'll see you in the next video. 11. HDYSU 11 SM: Hi and welcome back. The topic for today is "Self-management". How do you manage your emotions? Self-management is the ability to pause and think, how do I want to show up? This is the skill that you apply to manage your emotions and your behaviors. Did you know that guilt and regret come from focusing on the past, and stress and fear comes from focusing on the future. Focusing on the present - fosters openness, gratitude, calmness, and being cool. How do you practice being present? Focus on your surroundings, focus on your breathing. Try to avoid multitasking. I'm guilty of that one. While I'm waiting for one thing to finish, I will start something else. This is a very hard habit to break. However, studies have proven that multitasking is not very efficient because the brain has to stop and restart each time we go to a different task. So let's talk about self-talk. "You don't have to believe everything that you think". You need to manage those negative thoughts. Focus on being positive. Think about what's the best that can happen rather than what's the worst that can happen. Be intentional about your options for responding to emotions and what are the consequences of each of those options? What is your reputation for managing your emotions? What are your hot buttons? We talked about this a little bit earlier. Understanding what are your triggers. And once you know what your triggers are, then you can consciously decide how you want to manage your response to those triggers. How do you deal with frustration, anger, sadness, or fear? As you may remember, start by naming the emotion. Investigate what's causing it. Determine if it's something you can change or you can control, and then make a conscious decision about how you want to respond. Notice I didn't say react. How you want to respond. Remember, you drive your emotions. Your emotions do not drive you. There are signs that you're not managing your emotions efficiently. If you unconsciously ignore or torture your feelings down, You're trying to ignore them. You behave in a way that doesn't match the way that you really feel. Another sign that you're not managing your emotions effectively is that you take your feelings out on other people. So let's talk for a moment about controlling outbursts. Understand that the first thing that you say when you feel angry is usually the worst thing that you could say. It is aAways to your advantage, to take a moment, to breathe, take a walk, do what ever you need to do to give your cognitive brain a chance to engage so that the response that you make will be a response that you can be proud of. How do these statements apply to you? I'm able to control my temper and handle difficulties without affecting my mood or speech. Even when I'm emotional, I can speak in a calm and clear manner. I could always calm down quickly when I'm angry. When I'm happy, I rarely go overboard. When dealing with my problems. my long-term goals are always the thing that guides my response. I can take an independent view of things. Even when others disagree. I demonstrate optimism no matter how difficult the situation or the other people. This is trying to maintain a positive outlook in the face of disagreement. So for your class project, journal about your level of self-management. Think about ways to practice being present. Look for areas throughout the day where you were not present. Practice being more self-aware and journal about your challenges. And I'll see you in the next video. 12. HDYSU 12 SoA: Hello and welcome back. The topic for today is, "What is social awareness?" "What is empathy?" How do you assure that you are present for the people in your life? And how are you perceived by your peers and family? How perceptive are you to the feelings and thoughts of other people? These are all powerful questions. So let's start with the definition of social awareness. It is understanding the emotions and the needs and concerns of other people. Showing empathy, which means you understand the person without necessarily agreeing with them. So it's being able to understand other people and their situations, know that they are different from your own. And being able to listen, picking up on the mood in the room and remaining focused without judgment. We've talked about this a little bit earlier and it's noticing your environment, understanding what's going on around you. Being aware of how the group is feeling. Looking for areas where you might need to add clarity or dig a bit deeper to get better understanding. And finally, picking up on those non verbal cues. So let's talk about listening. Focus on what the other person is saying. Quiet the thoughts in your head about how you plan to respond. Remember, you don't have to agree with what's being said. Your goal is to listen, to acknowledge, and to understand the other person's point of view. If you're focused on how you're going to respond while they're speaking. You're missing out on part of the message. Makes sure that they feel that they're being heard and in some cases it is good to paraphrase what you think you heard. Just for clarity. Try to remain objective and not judgmental. This is a way of proving that you're listening. They feel that they've been heard. And it also gives both of you an opportunity to make sure that the message that they were trying to portray to you was accurately received Focus on communicating clearly. Consider when is it best to use email versus pick up the phone versus talking face to face. And then also check in with your body - check your gut. Do you feel that you've been communicating well? Perhaps ask your audience if they have any questions. Use Diferent ways to communicate. Because people learn differently, Don't assume that everyone understands your message. You need to have a way to confirm that your message has been accurately received. As mentioned earlier, empathy is a core emotional intelligence skill. Empathy is sensing the feelings of other people and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns. It's also appreciating and accepting differences between people. Accepting that we have different priorities and capabilities around emotion. Empathy is a learned skill that we can develop and grow through consistent practice. Therefore, if you're willing to increase your understanding of the behaviors of others, It's never too late to learn. Avoid distractions and multitasking, and focus on the person that is speaking to you. This is a great way to practice being present. Be aware of unconscious biases that you might bring to the conversation. Try to focus on what is being said instead of the way that it's being said. Everybody's different and they have different communication styles. So don't interrupt. This can be a challenge. We want to interrupt. Don't interrupt. Allow the person to complete their thought, before you share your thought. Try to remember that the speaker is "just like me", and they are just a human being with values and cares and fears and goals. "Just like me" A couple of questions that I want you to ask yourself, Do people consider me to be a good listener? Do they consider me to be easy to talk to or open-minded? Do I speak more than I listen? Am I aware of emotionally-charged words, words that can make people feel defensive or that they're being attacked. Do I consider the opinion of other people? And finally, using your instinct to determine the mood of the room and be aware of verbal cues and body language. Remember to paraphrase. This means play back what you heard. It's a good way to check for accuracy and understanding. Also, be careful to clarify the emotions you think you heard inspoken words or observed in body language. So to wrap up, social awareness is the ability to develop and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that can be characterized by trust and compassion. You should be at ease in social situations. So for your class project, journal about how social awareness shows up for you. Are there people you'd like to interact with differently? How do you show empathy? Do you feel that you are understood? And if not, what can you change? What can you do to improve your social awareness? Thanks, and I'll see you in the next video. 13. HDYSU 13 RM: Hello and welcome back. The topic for today's lesson is "Relationship management". And the question is, "Do you have good relationships? How would you rate your relationship with others both professionally and personally? So when we think of relationship management, the question that always comes up is, what does a good relationship really look like? And how do I manage it? Let's talk a little bit about relationships, the benefits of developing them and maintaining them. We want to make sure that we understand the people that we work with, live with, interact with, and that they understand us. We're building trust. We have to think about communicating clearly. Are we talking at each other or with each other? I've had friends who could spend time hours talking about something and then I would ask, okay guys, what did you decide? No decision was made. They were just talking at one another. They were not communicating, or they were not coming to consensus or a group decision. Also, in a good relationship, you should be able to inspire and influence others. So if you're in a situation where you've got a great idea and you want buy-in from the team or from your manager, How do you craft your message so that the people want to support you? Do you understand the audience? Do you understand what they care about? Do you understand what motivates them? This all helps you to build a message so that shows the relationship between your ideas and what they care about. And finally, think about relationships in a team. Do you understand that there are lots of different personalities and skill sets on the team. Everyone has something to contribute. Everyone needs to be heard. Everyone needs to feel that they matter. How did you manage that? How do you make sure that you are focusing on the things that are important to the team? Do you know when to collaborate or when to give in, or when to stand your ground? Do you understand what's important and what's the overall goal? What is the best thing for the team? Let's talk a little bit about a few bonus tips for repairing a relationship that has been either damaged or lost. Start off by being patient, listening, asking questions, and being curious. Find ways to try to re-establish the trust that has been lost in a relationship. Sometimes this is done by just offering to do something for them with no strings attached. Or you just offer to spend some time together. Also, show people that you value them. Seek mutual understanding of information and sharing focus on the facts. Bringing disagreements into the open will help to de-escalate them. For your class project, think about people that you would like to interact with differently. Journal about those relationships. And think about how you can go about managing those relationships based on what we've talked about in this class from the hints and the tips I've given around repairing relationships and showing you care and making people feel valued. What can you do differently based on what you know now? Thank you, and I'll see you in the next video. 14. HDYSU 14 Leaders: Hi and welcome back. The topic for today's session is, "What does an emotionally intelligent leader actually look like?" Think of a leader or manager who has been an inspiration or a role model for you. What are the traits that you remember most? In every instance where I've asked this question, the response has basically been the same. They always mentioned those soft skills that they remember the most or that made the best impact. People remember how the leader made them feel. Some of the responses I get are the leader was a good listener. They were calm under pressure. They were a good communicator. They made me feel valued. They appreciated me. These are all things that resonate. Leaders with high emotional intelligence can articulate a shared vision or mission. They can give long term direction and solicit ideas from the full team. They make sure that no one feels that they have a stupid idea or that their idea doesn't matter. Emotionally, intelligent leaders are interested in the professional development of the team. They know how to build trust, and they are a great role model. Now the opposite of this would be a leader who focuses on command and control. They're known for comments like, don't bring me any problems. Do is I say, you must agree with me or be quiet. A leader lacking in emotional intelligence may yell or attempt to intimidate the team. This type of leader is not engaged and is very low in self-awareness. They are not aware that the team is actually tuning out or not engaged. This type of leader also focuses on giving negative feedback. For your class project, journal about leaders with high emotional intelligence. What did you admire about that leader? And then think of leaders that were lacking in emotional intelligence. What is your conclusion about those experiences? Thank you, and I'll see you in the next lesson. 15. HDYSU 15 Finale: Hello, welcome back. I am so excited. This is our last lesson. And the question and focus of this very last lesson is, "Will you show up differently now that you have completed this course?" What did you learn after you reviewed your accumulated journal entries? Did you notice progress from one lesson to another. Please refer back to the emotional intelligence competencies and think about where you have noticed improvements or patterns. The four competencies are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Were there "aha" moments or insights that you gained as you were going through the material. Please plan to be more intentional about your emotions and remember that you drive your emotions. "They do not drive you" and "You do not have to believe everything that you think". And finally, make a choice about how you want to show up, how you want to behave. You manage that. Share your thoughts in the discussion forum or send me a direct communication. I would love to hear how this course may have impacted you both professionally or personally. Please let me know if there's anything I can add to the course or change in the course that will make it even more valuable for you or future students. In addition, if you'd like emotional intelligence coaching or more information, please reach out to me directly as I am a certified emotional intelligence coach and would love to work with you. Please remember, emotional intelligence is a practice you improve by doing every day. You'll be faced with opportunities to put your emotional intelligence skills into action from every hand. And you must be prepared to manage and decide how you want to show up. Be a role model for your team, be a role model for your family and friends. Everybody notices when you remain calm and are in control of your responses to surprises or difficult situations. People like to be around folks who are stable, who are caring, who are focused, honest, and have a positive attitude. Are you that person? So for your class project, keep journaling. Remember the benefits of capturing your thoughts in writing. It has been a pleasure, pleasure, pleasure going through this course with you. And again, this is, I guess Jordan, certified emotional intelligence coach and trainer. And please reach out if you have any comments or concerns or would like to learn more about how to work with me as an emotional intelligence coach. Thank you, and "Have an EI Day!".