How Do You Show Up? - Practicing Emotional Intelligence | Inez Jordan | Skillshare

How Do You Show Up? - Practicing Emotional Intelligence

Inez Jordan, Emotional Intelligence Coach

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21 Lessons (1h 3m)
    • 1. HDYSU 001 Enroll Now Overview V2

      3:34
    • 2. HDYSU 002 Journaling V2

      1:13
    • 3. HDYSU 003 What is EI V2

      3:45
    • 4. HDYSU 004 What is Emotion V2

      1:52
    • 5. HDYSU 010 Trigger Questions V2

      1:30
    • 6. HDYSU 005 How Many Emotions V2

      3:00
    • 7. HDYSU 006 Are There Bad Emotions V2

      1:39
    • 8. HDYSU 007 Stress V2

      3:09
    • 9. HDYSU 008 Negative Thoughts V2

      2:55
    • 10. HDYSU 009 What are Triggers V2

      3:30
    • 11. HDYSU 010 Trigger Questions V2

      1:30
    • 12. HDYSU 011 Why is EI Important V2

      4:42
    • 13. HDYSU 012 EI for Leaders V2

      2:08
    • 14. HDYSU 013 EI Competencies V2

      4:14
    • 15. HDYSU 014 Self Awareness V2

      2:46
    • 16. HDYSU 015 Self Aware Part 2 V2

      2:59
    • 17. HDYSU 016 Self Mgmt V2

      4:27
    • 18. HDYSU 017 Social Awareness V2

      4:52
    • 19. HDYSU 018 Relationship Mgmt V2

      2:55
    • 20. HDYSU 019 Conflict Mgmt V2

      2:56
    • 21. HDYSU 020 Bringing all together 1 V2

      3:00

About This Class

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"How Do You Show Up? - Practicing Emotional Intelligence" 

Are you ready to dig in to answer this question via "up-front " and "to the point" real conversation?  In this course, we will address how your self-perception matches how you are perceived by your peers and family.  Are you often misunderstood? Have you been passed over for promotion?  Do you consider yourself a good listener? Are you a good team player?

If these questions caused you to "Pause and Think" then this class is for you. 

In this course, will dive into defining Emotional Intelligence (EI), the benefits, and begin practicing the Emotional Intelligence competencies right away.  

You will learn how to be more aware and how to tap into your powers to decide how you will respond to situations that trigger your emotions.

Each lesson is followed by a journal prompt that encourages you to reflect upon the lesson, capture your thoughts about the topic, and consider how you will practice applying what you have learned to your life.

Join today and begin to realize the benefits of emotional intelligence both professional and personally. 

Transcripts

1. HDYSU 001 Enroll Now Overview V2: Hi. Welcome to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? I'm delighted that you're here. My name is I ness Jordan, and I'm a certified emotional intelligence coach and trainer. For the past nine years, I have been training and coaching people like you who are interested in learning more about emotional intelligence and its benefits and, more importantly, how to begin practicing emotional intelligence in order to make a difference in their lives . The course title includes the phrase How do you show up? You may be wondering, What do I mean by that? Well, knowing about emotional intelligence is not enough. You can Onley realize benefits by applying the skill sets and practicing emotional intelligence every day. It is not knowing, but doing so to get you thinking about How do you show up? Consider the following question how you proceed by your peers. Do folks use words to describe you like hothead or moody or sensitive out of control? Are you often misunderstood? Do you notice a confused look on the faces of the people that you're speaking to? Is your message clear where you passed over recently for a promotion that you thought you were qualified for. How would you describe your relationship with your manager and team members? Do you have good listening skills? Are you easily distracted or using your cell phone while others are talking? Do you have good relationships? And what do you do to nurture those relationships with others? And finally, are you the one person that everyone wants to have on their team? Do people come to you for advice or counsel? If any of these questions have caused you to pause and think than this course is for you during our time together, I will break down all of the miss concepts about emotional intelligence and provide you with a solid foundation of knowledge on what emotional intelligence is and what are some of the benefit. We'll discuss exactly what is an emotion and how many types of emotions are there and what are the impacts on your body. In addition, I'll cover how to manage negative thoughts and self limiting beliefs and triggers and stress, and I'll cover emotional intelligence for successful leaders. The good, the bad and the ugly. I'll focus on what an emotionally intelligent leader actually looks like or sounds like el , then define the four key competencies of emotional intelligence defining each of the competencies, describing some of the key skill sets that you were recognized for each and providing hence , and tips on how to practice them. And finally, we will finish up with a key discussion on optimism and happiness. Did you know that you do not have to believe everything that you think during this course? You will be encouraged to use the provided journal template to create an update your own personal emotional intelligence journal. I'll provide journal prompts and key questions throughout the course that you can write about in your journal, reinforcing what you're learning and challenging you to think about how you might apply to knowledge to your daily interaction. After this course, you'll have a better understanding of yourself what triggers your emotions and how to manage them. In addition, you should also notice a change in How do you show up at work at home, at school, with your friends and family and in public? Have I peaked your interest in role now and let's get started realizing the benefits of emotional intelligence right away 2. HDYSU 002 Journaling V2: hi and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence. As I mentioned in an earlier video, the project for this course is to create your own personal, reflective journal. Journaling is an excellent way to improve your self awareness. It helps you to see patterns and habits and think about where they came from and how you might want to change them. You could journal any time some people meditate in journal when they awake in the morning. Others choose to journal at the end of the day when they're winding down and they're reflecting on their activities. Research has proven that people who journal are more successful and that writing things down helps to clear your head. Make important connections between your thoughts and feelings and behaviors. Plan to set aside maybe 30 minutes to think about your journal entries after each one of our sessions. That journal will also serve as a take away after this course, allowing you to continue tracking your progress after the course is done. Please click the bonus link below to review the journal template and copy to your machine so that you can be ready to apply your entries after each one of our upcoming lesson and CEO 3. HDYSU 003 What is EI V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The focus of today's lesson is what is emotional intelligence and what have some of the benefits? Emotional intelligence is a set of emotional and social skills that collectively establish how well we won perceive ourselves and express ourselves to develop and maintain social relationships. Three. How we cope with challenges and for how we use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way. Having the skills and the ability to recognize, understand and manage our emotions and those of others leads to healthier, happier and more productive life. If you Google emotional intelligence, you'll find it. There are several definition, however. What I love about the research that I've done is the fact that the majority of those definitions consistently highlight four key elements of emotional intelligence. And those are self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management, the top to mention, as shown in this diagram, our self awareness and self management. As you can see here, self awareness focuses on being aware of yourself and your feelings in your thoughts. Who are you as a person and what are your values? Self management is where you step back and say, OK, I see how I feel. I understand this emotion now. I want to make a conscious decision about how I want to manage it, how I want to show up or how I want to behave the bottom to our social related. This is how we relate to others. Social awareness is being aware of other people showing empathy. Understanding the feelings of others is not a focus on yourself, but it's a focus on others in working with others, getting along with others. The second part of the social aspect of emotional intelligence is relationship management, and in this one you talk about what types of relationships do you have. How do you nurture those relationships? Are you a good team player? We will cover each one of these four emotional intelligence competencies in a dedicated lesson. I want to talk a little bit more about what emotional intelligence is and what it is not emotional Intelligence is, is not about being nice all the time. It's about being honest about your feelings. Emotional intelligence is about being aware of your feelings and the feelings of others, and finally, emotional intelligence is not about being emotional. It's about being smart about your emotion. Emotional intelligence is about making an intentional decision about how you will show up. Now let's talk a little bit about the benefits of emotional intelligence. Several studies have been done, and it turns out that 71% of hiring managers have indicated that an employee with a high emotional intelligence is more important than, ah, potential candidate with a strong I. Q. 90% of the top performer have a high i Q. 80% of our Fortune 500 companies have HR practices that evaluate emotional intelligence ratings for new candidates. 59% of managers have said that they would not hire someone with a high I Q and A low eq you higher emotional intelligence yields of 77% increase in the employee engagement results. So the key to this course is that we were allowed time between each lesson for you to think about in journal about what you've learned for your class Project journal about the four emotional intelligence competencies and think about areas that you might be interested in exploring toe list him again. They are self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management, and I'll see you 4. HDYSU 004 What is Emotion V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence. The topic for today's lesson is, what is any motion, and can they be ignored? By definition, emotion is a natural, instinctive state of mind, deriving from one circumstances, moods or relationships with other people. Three parts of emotion are sensations in the body. Thoughts and feelings in the mind and emotional urges or actions and behaviors. People who ignore or dismiss or repress or setting themselves up for physical illness. Research shows that the effects of consistent emotional suppression includes increased physical stress on your body, including high blood pressure, increased incidents of diabetes and also heart disease. Also, people who regularly suppress emotions are often less aware of the signals that they're sending to other people and also less aware of the social cues that are present in their daily conversations. Emotions are reliable indicators of what is really going on inside us. There are many ways to identify and respond to emotions, and you have to choose the manner that is suitable for you. Recognizing and naming or identifying any motion helps us to build better relationships. That's because being aware of an emotion can help us to talk about our feelings more clearly, avoid and resolve conflicts better and move past difficult feelings more easily. The class project for this lesson is journal about your thoughts concerning expressing or suppressing your emotions journal about the physical impact of emotions on your body, and I'll see you next. 5. HDYSU 010 Trigger Questions V2: Hi and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? Here are some questions to ask yourself when negative thoughts or triggers show up one of my instincts telling What is my gut feel? What will I need to do differently to be more prepared for this trigger next time? And is it a fear that I need to face? What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that can happen? And lastly, how will my response impact the situation positively? Negatively. It's my choice. So for your class project journal about the triggers that you are aware of, how do you feel when you're triggered? Review the questions that I presented in this lesson and journal about your answers before we close, I'll give you one example off. One of my triggers and a person that truly triggers me is my mom. It seems that she can always say or do something that will cause me to either become defensive or cause me to get upset. As I think about how to respond in an emotionally intelligent manner, I have to think about okay, who she is wester situation, How doe I want to show up in some situations. I have to take a deep breath, calm myself down and make sure that my response will be one that I can be proud of. This takes practice and I'll see you in the next lesson. 6. HDYSU 005 How Many Emotions V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? Today's lessons topic is how many emotions are there and we'll talk about the mood meter. How many emotions are their most research concludes that there about seven basic emotions and these emotions have certain facial expressions associated with them. Like anger or sadness, disgust, fear, contempt, happiness. Surprise research confirms that our feelings have, ah, huge influence on our decisions. And yet, often in the moment we aren't really aware of how we're feeling and how those feelings are influencing our behaviour. The mood meter was designed by Yale University to help us learn to recognize emotions in ourselves and in others through practice learned to manage those emotions intentionally and successfully. Basically, we decide how we want to show up. Take a look at this diagram. The mood meter provides us with language to describe our emotions. It is ah for Cordant diagram and has four colors, each representing a specific set of feelings according to pleasantness and our energy level . So if you take a look at the red section, those feelings are high energy and low pleasantness. So in this category, we find anger, scared, anxious. Next, take a look at the blue section, low energy and low pleasantness. So here we see sadness, disappointed, lonely, the green section, low energy, high pleasantness. So in this case, the person is calm, tranquil, relaxed and finally, the yellow section. High energy, high pleasantness, happy, excited, curious thes of emotions that we find in the yellow segment. So if you can find words to describe how you feel at the time and even better, what is causing you will automatically become more aware. You then have options. You can decide that you do not want to feel the way you do. You can decide that your feelings are about things in your past rather than the situation at hand. And finally, you can begin to think about well, how is this impacting others? How is my behavior going to impact the rest of the team or the family? These are all awareness type activities that we can intentionally decide how we want to respond or behave based on an emotion that we're feeling for the class project used the mood meter over the next few days. Make a note of how you feel. Make a note of specific emotions that you are experiencing and try to use the mood meter to categorize those emotions and journal about what you find. Then make a practice of applying this awareness to your daily experiences and I'll see you weigh. 7. HDYSU 006 Are There Bad Emotions V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for this lesson is, Are there bad emotions? There's no such thing as a bad emotion. Each emotion that we experienced throughout the day. Each one is important. We need to first acknowledge it, name it and then investigate to understand why we feel the way we do or why we behaved as we did. For example, anger has a bad reputation. However, upon investigation, anger is just a symptom of other emotions, like fear or jealousy or sadness or anxiety. Asking why you feel the way you do is very important. This is all hard work, but it's so beneficial to your professional development to your personal life, your well being as well as your help. We can learn from every emotion and then make a conscious or intentional decision about how we want to respond or how we want to behave. Studies have proven that positive thinking leads to more positive results, so it's a great opportunity to stop, think, notice what's going on and recognize that weight drive our emotions, our emotions do not drive us. The class project is the Journal about how emotions influence your decision making. What were practicing here is self awareness. Taking a step back, taking a deep breath and making sure that the decisions that we're making are based on facts rather than emotions. Make entries in your journal. 8. HDYSU 007 Stress V2: hi and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's lesson is the question. How to stress show up in your body. For me, stress shows up. Sometimes of I I twitch. And whenever I was under stress or I was worried all of these air symptoms of an emotion that I was feeling So Although the term stresses generally claimed to be negative, it is really, also a positive driver. So if you think about stress in order to perform well, a certain degree of positive stress is needed. Negative stress, on the other hand, occurs when we feel that we're unable to perform or to cope with a situation. Take a look at this diagram. The purpose of this diagram is to show positive stress is good. Positive stress begins in that orange section where were laid back or inactive. But as we become more active and we're working on projects that really get us going, that good stresses excitement. It's being engaged. It is. It leads us to peak performance as that good stress continues to build. We have to be careful because we will reach what's called a tipping point at that tipping point. That's when you reach the point of peak performance, the buzz of being busy, the challenge of stretching. But you can't really achieve your targets, the satisfaction of getting a new job under your belt. These air all stresses that come up. But if we're not careful and managing our stresses and staying aware of how we're feeling and what's going on, we can easily fall into the great section. And this is where our bad stress or negative stress starts to show up. Psychological damage of fatigue begins. Exhaustion begins. Anxiety, anger, panic that you've got more on your plate than you can ever finished. All of this can lead to burnout. So again, if we take a look at this diagram, we can see your efficiency goes up as you're building your stress. That good stress that efficiency levels go up is your stress levels go up. But you could as you reach that tipping point, you have to be careful because now you're crossing a line where you have too much stress, and then it is not a positive experience. At that point for your class project. Think about how you handle stress. What are your physical signs of both good and bad stress? Now, did you aware of how stress works? Make that part of your self awareness Be aware of when you're feeling that good stress and when you're on your in the flow and things were working and also be aware of when you reach that tipping point and you're starting to get stressed out or frustrated and you feel you got more than you can handle, that's when you have to make a conscious decision about how do I want to handle now this dress? Do I need to go talk to my manager? Re prioritize my job work levels? Do I need to talk to my wife? Do I need to talk to the Children? I'm reaching my stress levels now. I'm reaching my tipping point, so I need to decide how I want to manage that. So did Aiken determine how I will behave and, as a result, show up as my best self and I'll see you 9. HDYSU 008 Negative Thoughts V2: hi and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's lesson is negative thoughts. Research has shown that the average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot of information. How many of those thoughts do you think are negative? Studies have proven that 70 to 80% of our thoughts during the day are negative, and 90% of those thoughts are the very same thoughts that we had yesterday. Based on that information, we now understand that there's a lot of head trash, So we need to develop a plan for how we are going to empty our heads of all of those negative thoughts. How are we going to manage those negative thoughts? Consider. You do not have to believe everything that you think, particularly because our brains are conditioned to focus on the worst or the most negative thoughts. First, we must make a conscious effort to think positively. Consider, is the thought really true? Is there evidence? Is this something that I actually have control over, or is it beyond my control? So let's talk a little bit about what a person with a positive outlook might look like. Well, basically this type of person will think very highly of others. They expect to be accepted by up. They are positive about their aspirations and goals, and they're not afraid of the reaction of other people. They work harder for people who demand higher standards. That's an interesting one, because that means that they they will actually put forth more effort when they know effort is required. There also finally comfortable defending themselves against negative comments by other people. And then, on the other hand, what does a person with a negative outlook or who is experiencing negative emotions actually look like? Well, they're more likely to disapprove of themselves and others They expect to be rejected. They have lower expectations there, more negative. They're sensitive, and they perform very poorly under scrutiny. They feel threatened easily and often times find themselves in situations where they need to defend themselves. So for your class project, the challenge is to become more self aware of your negative thoughts. So what I'd like you to do is journal about the negative thoughts that you have during the day, and then, as these thoughts are occurring practice asking yourself the question Is it true? Is there evidence isn't actually something within my control journal about this way? 10. HDYSU 009 What are Triggers V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's discussion is what are triggers? Ah, trigger, maybe something that someone says or does. Ah, thought that may or may not be true pressure that you feel to perform or behave in a specific way that makes you feel uncomfortable. We can't necessarily control what triggers us, but we can learn to recognize the emotion that results from the trigger, name that emotion, take a deep breath and then intentionally decide how we want to show up or behave. We can apply emotional intelligence practices to help us respond to triggers in a way that we can be proud of. The ability to pause before reacting is a key component of emotional intelligence. You remain in control of your actions rather than being at the mercy of your emotions and thoughts. Take a deep breath. Deep breathing delivers more oxygen to the brain and helps us to calm down so we can focus our attention and think more clearly. Take a wall. Don't press in on that angry email revisited later, when you're comma, count to 10 manage their self top. These are all actions that will allow time for your cognitive brain to engage and override the emotional part of the brain, which will always be ready to respond. First, consider the worst that could happen and be prepared. Land your message. Prepare for multiple scenario. Choose the right time and place to respond. Ah, person who manages his or her emotions well, wakes up happy in the morning. People like to be around folks with a positive outlook. Research shows that happy people live longer. They're optimistic. They focus on being grateful for the things that they have. Your thoughts, your choices and actions can influence your level of happiness. So the key here is be intentional. Do things that make you happy. Live in the present moment. Carve out me time every day. Read a good book during lunch. Watch your favorite TV show, wake up early to meditate or play the piano. This can help you to feel centered. Practice being optimistic. It could be hard to do on a regular basis specifically because we tend to blame ourselves or feel sorry or put ourselves down positive and optimistic. People can self soothe or encourage themselves. They surround themselves with other positive people begin each day with the attention of making the best of it. Try to put everything into perspective. Practice learning how to deal with adversity, unforeseen events and uncertainty. Understand that you will not be happy 100% of the time. Everyone has times when they feel sad or frustrated or guilty or angry. The key is how quickly do you bounce back, be resilient and get back to the positive attitude. Wow, learning from each one of your experiences. So back to our discussion on name that emotion, understand where it's coming from, what's causing it, what is the underlying factor and then make a conscious decision on how you're going to respond to it. Thank you. 11. HDYSU 010 Trigger Questions V2: Hi and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? Here are some questions to ask yourself when negative thoughts or triggers show up one of my instincts telling What is my gut feel? What will I need to do differently to be more prepared for this trigger next time? And is it a fear that I need to face? What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that can happen? And lastly, how will my response impact the situation positively? Negatively. It's my choice. So for your class project journal about the triggers that you are aware of, how do you feel when you're triggered? Review the questions that I presented in this lesson and journal about your answers before we close, I'll give you one example off. One of my triggers and a person that truly triggers me is my mom. It seems that she can always say or do something that will cause me to either become defensive or cause me to get upset. As I think about how to respond in an emotionally intelligent manner, I have to think about okay, who she is wester situation, How doe I want to show up in some situations. I have to take a deep breath, calm myself down and make sure that my response will be one that I can be proud of. This takes practice and I'll see you in the next lesson. 12. HDYSU 011 Why is EI Important V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's discussion is Why is emotional intelligence important? What are some of the benefits? Studies have shown that for jobs of all levels and kinds, emotional intelligence is twice as important as I Q. And being successful in the job history is full of brilliant, successful men and women who failed miserably or underachieve in the classroom and whose teachers and guidance counselors view them as a disappointment. Evidence has now proven that success in school does not automatically equate to a successful career or success in life. These success stories must be based on some other skill set that these folks have. It is the ability to tune into the world to be aware of situations and connect with others while taking charge of your own life. If you stop and think about your friends and family, co workers or others that you interact with during the day home, do you consider to be the most successful? Which of them seems tohave the fullest n happiest lives? Are they necessarily the smartest? Most likely they have other characteristics or skill says that support their ability to achieve their goals. Research proves that it is at least as important to be emotionally and socially intelligent as it is to be cognitively or analytically intelligent. I Q is a measure of your intellect. Your analytical, logical and rational abilities gauges how easily you learn new task, memorize and recall information, apply reasoning and solve problems. We all know people who can pass an I Q test with ease, but they're lacking in their personal or work life or relationships they don't get along with. Others will and most times can't figure out why. The reason is they're lacking in emotional intelligence, which is defined for this course as, ah, set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves . How we develop and maintain social relationships, how we cope with challenges that use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way. With emotional intelligence, we can assess our strengths as well as be open to viewing and challenging our limitations and assumptions and unconscious biases and self limiting beliefs with emotional intelligence. We are aware of political and social environments. We can show empathy for ourselves and for others. We can manage our stress, and we're overall pleasant to be around. So to some, all of this up, e que or the measurement of your emotional intelligence does not replace I. Q. The tour complementary like you, is a necessary foundation. You need i Q. To understand what CQ is and what it can do for you and to put in the time in the practice to actually enhance your EQ you skills. In fact, the higher your I Q. The more important your e que e que. Which is the measurement of your emotional intelligence, actually enhances how you show up as an example. You may be a mastermind, but if you cannot communicate well or are unaware of how you relate to other people, you're in trouble. If you are both full, rude or impulsive, no one will stick around long enough to hear your wonderful ideas. I Q enables you to build a rocket, but your e que is needed for you to soar. Plan to show up as your best self. For example, imagine getting called into your supervisor's office What goes through your mind. What am I being called in for? What have I done wrong. What did I do right? Oh, Generally, people tend to feel that something bad is going to happen, such as being reprimanded or fired. We often make decisions with little or no information. Reframing our beliefs, however, can improve our ability to understand our environment because we allow ourselves to challenge and reorganize our irrational beliefs for your class. Project General, about your thoughts off what your best self might look like, including your journal. Any thoughts on areas where you would like to improve your emotional intelligence, where you would like to show up differently at work or at home, and I see you. 13. HDYSU 012 EI for Leaders V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's session is what does an emotionally intelligent leader actually look like? Think of a leader or a manager who's been an inspiration or a role model for you? What are the traits that you remember most in every instance where I asked this question? The group response has been basically the same. They always mentioned those soft skills that they remember the most, or that made the most impact. People remember how the leader made them feel. So the responses I get are the leader was a good listener. They would come under pressure. They were a good communicator. They made me feel valued. They appreciated me. These are the things that resonate with books. Leaders with Ah higher emotional intelligence can articulate a shared mission and a vision that could give long term direction that can solicit ideas from the full team. They make sure that no one feels that they have a stupid idea or that their idea doesn't matter and emotionally intelligent leaders interested in the professional development of the team. They know how to build trust, and they are a great role model. The opposite of this would be a leader who focuses on command and control, where you hear comments like Do as I say, Don't bring me any problems. You must agree with me or be quiet. A leader lacking in emotional intelligence may yell or attempt to intimidate the team. This type of leader is not engaged and sometimes is very low in self awareness that may not be aware that the team is actually tuning out and not engaged. This type of leader also focuses on giving negative feedback for the class Project General about leaders with high emotional intelligence in your past. Why did you admire about the journal about leaders that you feel we're laughing in emotional intelligence? What is your conclusion based on your own experience and CEO? 14. HDYSU 013 EI Competencies V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's lesson is what are the key components of emotional intelligence? As we saw in the definition of emotional intelligence, it focuses on self and others. Take a look at this diagram. The key components of emotional intelligence are self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management. Take a look across the top of this diagram. The top Rope focuses on self. Self awareness is a recognition skill set, and self management is a regulation skill set on the topic of self awareness. This is like the foundation of emotional intelligence. When we look at self awareness, we see a person that recognizes their own emotions and how they impact their behavior. They can name that emotion. They know when they're being triggered. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they have self confidence about themselves and what they can and cannot do. Now let's make a conscious decision on how we're gonna manage it. So now we're into self management. Here is where you control and manage your impulses and your feelings. After you've named that emotion. Now it's time to manage it. Now it's time to take some initiative. Be intentional. Breathe and make a conscious decision about how you want to show up, how you want to behave. Impact yourself, the situation and others, and how you want to make sure that you and behave in a way that is your best cell and not something that you will have to apologize for later. And finally, the last bullet here you easily adapt to change your flexible. This is all part of self management. The bottom two boxes here in the last row are focused on others. So as you remember, emotional intelligence is focused on ourselves and understanding ourselves, managing ourselves and then interacting with other people. So now we're focused on social awareness, and then it's part of regulation relationship management. So when it comes to social awareness, this is understanding the emotions and the needs and the concerns of other people. Now we're focused on others, empathy where we understand what another person may be feeling or was causing their behavior, taking the time to focus on someone else other than ourselves, picking up on the mood in the room. What is your team? Care about what interests that what motivates them. This is all part of your social awareness skill set, and then finally pick up on those nonverbal cues watching for body language. Are people engaged? Are they listening? Are there arms folded? These are all indications of how your messages being received, and finally, the second component of others is relationship management. How do you develop and maintain good relationships? How do you nurture those relationships, Being aware of how you interact with people and actually caring about how you interact with other people communicating clearly stopping toe? Ask that you understand. Do you have any questions? Instead of just delivering a message and not confirming that your message was actually received properly or as you intended, how do you inspire or influence others? This skill set speaks to How do you make sure that you understand your audience and what they care about, and then modifying your message so that it speaks to their needs working well in a team? This is understanding collaboration, how to work with others, how to be flexible and adaptable and actually looking for areas where everybody can benefit or the win win situation, managing conflict. We'll talk a little bit more about that. In a later lesson. In the next four lessons, we will dive into each one of these competencies what each one looks like, why it's important, how to practice it, and the importance of journaling about each one of these competencies for your class project journal about what you've learned in this. Listen, review again, each one of the emotional intelligence skill sets or components and journal about how they show up for you and I see you. 15. HDYSU 014 Self Awareness V2: hi and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's lesson is, how does your self awareness show up? Self awareness is the ability to understand your feelings and the effects they have on your performance. The first question is, how do you feel? Pay attention to your body is very important to name the emotion usually what you know about the mood meter that we covered in an earlier lesson? Can you name how you feel? Practice naming the emotion, then investigate. Why do I feel this way? What is the cause of the emotion? Is it something that I can't control? Tune into your body. So you understand. What is it trying to tell you? And how is it reacting to certain circumstance? Think of situations where you have reacted in a way that you could visibly see that you were impacting someone else either positively or negative. Understand that all of this impacts how you are perceived by other people. Are you aware of whether or not your messages being received in the way that you intended? How do you confirm that? Do you ask questions like, would you like me to repeat any of the information that I just shared. How can I help? All of these are ways to help the other person realize that it's OK to ask questions. It's OK to still be curious. And then, on the other hand, how do you make sure that you understand others? Are you comfortable in asking questions? If you feel that you may be miss something or that you need more information, this requires that you know yourself and you have enough confidence to say it's OK to ask a question. It's OK that I don't no everything, and it's okay for me to say I need a little bit more information. So let's talk about accurate self assessment and what it involves. Know your strengths and weaknesses and limitations. Ask for feedback. Be prepared to handle feedback if it's not totally positive, have a sense of humor and a perspective. Have an open mind so that you can reflect upon the feedback that you're getting and learn from your experiences. Be open to change. These are always to have an accurate self assessment of your self awareness. Has your class project for this lesson journal about your emotions throughout the day times where you did not show up exactly as you would have liked. How do you think your behavior is perceived by other people? Can you think of a situation that you would handle differently in the future and I'll see you next? 16. HDYSU 015 Self Aware Part 2 V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's lesson is actually a follow on to our previous lesson on self awareness. We want to dig a little bit deeper into How do you celebrate your accomplishments? It is not arrogance to stop and take a moment to celebrate what you worked hard on or what you've accomplished. Let's talk about the difference between confidence and humility. Confidence is being securing yourself regard, you know, your capabilities and strengths, and you can be quietly confident about them. You allow others an opportunity to shy, and you don't worry too much about getting praised for yourself. Share the stage, especially if you're a leader. Humility is thought of as being modest, not thinking of yourself as being superior to others, and you maintain your pride without being arrogant. Humility reduces anxiety and improves relationships and encourages more openness. It also builds confidence, and it allows you to gain the respect of other people. Let's think about how you would strengthen your self esteem. One. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Don't put yourself down, Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about yourself to yourself. Accept compliments. You self help books and websites to help you change your beliefs. Spent time when positive, supportive people. We talked about this a little bit earlier when we talked about happiness. Positive people need to be with other positive people. They reinforce one another. Next, acknowledge your positive qualities and things that you're good at. It's not arrogance. It's just understanding that is a stretch. It's not in arrogance. Be assertive. Don't allow people to treat you with lack of respect, not aggression, but assertive. That is where you understand your values, what you stand for and you're willing to acknowledge them, be helpful and considerate of others and finally engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy . These are all ways to strengthen your self esteem. I have a question for you. What comes first, the action or the confidence to attempt the action? Think about it. How many times do we wanna wait until we have everything perfect before we try something? On the other hand, you may want to try it, learn from your mistakes, improved and try again. In this case, you are still moving forward versus waiting to everything is perfect. It may never be perfect and you will never make any traction. So think about what comes first. The action or the confidence to attempt the action for the class Project journal about your level of self confidence. Is it where you would like it to be? Or would you like to improve General, about your feelings concerning humility? Is it where you would like it to be, or would you like to improve? And I see you. 17. HDYSU 016 Self Mgmt V2: hi and welcome back to So you show up practicing emotional intelligence. The topic for today's lesson is self management. How do you manage your emotions? Self management is the ability to pause and think, How do I want to show up? This is the skill that you apply to manage your emotions and your behaviors. Mindfulness can be thought of his living in the moment, intentionally noticing what is going on around you. Did you know guilt and regret come from focusing on the past and stress and fear comes from focusing on the future. Focus on the present that fosters openness, gratitude, being calm and being cool. How do you practice being present? Focus on your surroundings. Focus on your breathing. Try to avoid multitasking. I'm so guilty of this one. I don't like to waste time. So while I'm waiting for one thing to finish, I will start something else. This is a very hard habit to break, but studies have proven that multitasking is not very efficient because the brain has to stop and restart each time you go to a different task. Mindfulness means undivided attention, so if you practice being present, it is a form of mindfulness. You're providing your undivided attention, and this could be in a conversation with someone where you're listening and you are being present where it could be something that you're working on, where you are giving it 100% your attention be present. Be mindful. You don't have to believe everything that you think. Let's discuss self talk. You need to manage those negative thoughts. Focus on being positive. Think about what's the best that can happen rather than what's the worst that can happen. The intentional about your options for responding to emotions and what are the consequences of each one of those options? What is your reputation for managing your emotions? What are your hot buttons? We talked about this a little bit earlier. Understanding what your triggers. And once you know what your triggers are, then you can consciously decide how you want to manage your response. How do you deal with frustration? Anger, sadness or fear? Will first name that emotion. Then you investigate what's causing it. Is it something that I can control and make a conscious decision on how you're gonna react to it? Remember, you drive your emotions, your emotions do not drive you. There are signs that you're not managing your emotions effectively. You unconsciously ignore or you push your feelings down. You trying to ignore them. You behave in ways that do not match the way to to really feel other signs that you are not managing your emotions effectively are you? Take your feelings out on other people. Let's talk about controlling outburst. Understand that the first thing that you say when you feel angry is usually the worst thing that you could say. It is always to your advantage to take a moment to breathe, take a walk. Do whatever you need to do to give your cognitive brain a chance to engage so that the response that you make will be a response that you can be proud of. How did the statements apply to you? I'm able to control my temper and handle difficulties without them affecting my mood or speech. Number two. Even when I'm emotional, I can speak in a calm and clear manner. Number three. I could always calm down quickly when I'm very angry. Number four. When I am happy, I rarely go overboard. Number five. When dealing with my problems. My long term goals are always the thing. Which guys? My response. Six. I can take an independent view of things even when others disagree that finally, I demonstrate optimism no matter how difficult the situation or the other people. Maybe this is trying to maintain a positive outlook in the face of disagreement for your class. Project General, about your level of self management. Think about ways to practice being present. Look for areas throughout the day where you were not present. Being self aware. Take a look and notice those areas where you may have been on your phone or you weren't listening so that you began to be aware of when you are present and when you are not journal about, your challenges would be in present and I see you. 18. HDYSU 017 Social Awareness V2: hi, and welcome back to how do you show up practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's lesson is, what is social awareness? What is empathy? How do you assure that you are present for the people in your life, and how are you proceed by your peers and family? How perceptive are you to the feelings and thoughts of other people? Those are all powerful questions. So let's start with the definition of social awareness. It is understanding the emotions and the needs and concerns of other people showing empathy , which means you understand the person without necessarily agreeing with them. So it's being able to understand other people. Their situations know that they're different from your own and being able to just listen, picking up on the mood in the room. We talked about this one a little bit earlier, and that is noticing your environment, understanding what's going on around you, being aware of how the group is feeling looking for areas where you might need to add clarity or dig a little bit deeper to get a better understanding and finally picking up on nonverbal cues. Let's talk about listening. Focus on what the other person is saying quiet the thoughts in your head about how you plan to respond. Remember, you don't have to agree with what's being said. Your goal is to listen, to acknowledge and to understand the other person's point of view. If you are focused on how you're going to respond while they're speaking, you're missing part of the message they don't feel that they are being hurt in some cases is good. To paraphrase what you think you heard for clarity. Try to remain objective and not judgmental. This is a way to first of all, reinforce that you were listening. They feel that they've been heard, and it also gives both of you an opportunity to make sure that the message they were trying to portray to you was accurately received. Focus on communicating clearly. Consider when it is best to use email versus the phone versus talking face to face. Check your gut. Do you feel that you have been communicating well, perhaps. Ask your audience if they have any questions. Attempt to use different ways to communicate because people learn differently. Do not assume that everyone understands your message. You need to have a way to confirm that your message has been received accurately. And as you intend, empathy is a core emotional intelligence skill. Empathy is sensing the feeling of other people and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns. It's also appreciating and accepting differences between people, accepting that we have different priorities in capabilities around emotion. You do not have to agree. Toe list Empathy is a learned skill that we can develop and grow through consistent practice. Therefore, if you're willing to increase your understanding of the behavior of others, it is never too late to learn. Listen, to understand, not to respond. Ask questions to assure that you understand asking questions, shows the speaker that you're listening and that you're interested. And it also builds relationships. Remove distractions, no multitasking and focus on the person that's speaking to you. This is a way to be present. Be aware of any unconscious biases that you may be bringing to the conversation. Try to focus on what is being said instead of the way it's being said. Everybody's different and has a different communication style. Do not interrupt. Allow the person to complete their thought. Before you share your thoughts, try to remember that the speaker is just like me and that they are just a human being with values, cares for years, goals just like me. So a couple questions to ask yourself, Do people consider you to be a good listener? Do they consider you to be easy to talk to and open minded? Did you speak more than listen? Be aware of emotionally charged words? Do you consider the opinion of other people and finally using your instinct to determine the mood in the room and be aware of verbal cues and body length paraphrase means to play back what you heard Someone say it's a good way to check for accuracy and understanding. Also, be careful to clarify the emotions you think you heard in spoken words and saw in body language. For example, you might say something like this. Sounds like you're feeling frustrated about this project, or it looks like you're happy about this assignment. So to wrap up social awareness is the ability to develop and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by trust and compassion. You should be ease in social situations, so for your class Project General, about your relationships are there areas of people you would like to interact with differently. How do you show empathy? Do you feel that you are understood? And if not, what can you change? What can you do to improve your social awareness and CEO? 19. HDYSU 018 Relationship Mgmt V2: hi and welcome. How do you show up Practicing emotional intelligence? The topic for today's lesson is relationship management, and the question is, Do you have good relationships? How would you rank your relationship with others both professionally and personally? When we think of relationship management, the question always comes up. Is what does good relationship management look like? Well, you should be able to develop and maintain good relationship. You should be able to communicate clearly and inspire or influence other people and work well in a team. So let's talk a little bit about some of the benefits of that develop and maintain good relationships. There are people we work with, our people we live with or we interact with that. We want to make sure that we understand them. They understand us. We are building trust. The next topic was communicating clearly. Are we talking at each other or we understanding each other? I've had friends who could spend on our talking about something and then I would ask. Okay, what did you guys decide? No decisions were me. They were just talking at one another. They were not communicating, inspire and influence others. If you're in a situation where you've got an idea and you want to get the valiant from the team from your management. How do you craft your message so that people want to support you? Do you understand the audience? Do you understand who you're gonna be talking to, What they care about, what motivates them? That helps you to build your message so that you can show relationships between your idea relates to what they care about and finally working well in a team. Do you understand that there are lots of different personalities and skill says on the team . Everybody has something to contribute. Everybody needs to be heard. Everybody needs to feel that they matter. How do you manage that? How do you understand? Went to collaborate or when to give in or when to stand your ground understanding what's important, what the goal is. What's the best thing for the team? Bonus tips for repairing a relationship. Be patient to listen, to ask questions and be curious. Find ways to try to re establish the trust that has been lost in the relationship offer to do something for them, try to spend more time together. Some other thoughts around building a relationship. Show people that you value them, seek mutual understanding of the information and sharing focus on the facts, bring disagreements into the open, and that will help to de escalate them. So for your class project, other areas or people you've like to interact with differently. How would you go about doing that? And I'll see you weigh. 20. HDYSU 019 Conflict Mgmt V2: hi and welcome back to So you show up practicing emotional intelligence. The topic of today's lesson is handling conflict. How do you stay positive or optimistic when dealing with conflict? The couple steps here that I'd like to go over with you. The first is analyzer feelings. The first step in dealing with conflicts or challenging interactions is to identify what bothers you. At the beginning, you'll be thinking about what's wrong from your point of view rather than from someone else's perspective. This is fine as long as you realize that you're not done until you understand the other person's position as well. Next, ask relevant questions. Remove personal elements such as your biases or your desires, and identify the what who, when aspects of the challenge. Avoid thinking about why this can get personal and assumes that you know more about the other party than you probably really do. Remember. At this stage, your focus is on Lee to identify the various aspects of the challenge, avoid generalizations like too much or constantly generalizations are not supported by facts and reflect individual opinion. As such, they can color your judgment and make resolution more difficult to achieve and next avoid using judgment phrases like we or too proud. Too much judgement too early in the process makes resolution more difficult rather than easier to achieve. It's about finding the best solution to a problem, even if it's one that you haven't thought of or one that you thought you would never consider and finally dropped loaded action phrases. Take the emotion out of the discussion and focus on the facts. At this point, you've gotten to a description of the problem that's more accurate unless emotionally loaded. Both things are crucial if you want to resolve the situation fairly. So for your class project on conflict management, think of a conflict that you have had in the past. How did you resolve it? Based on what we've talked about here? And I don't Five steps to conflict management, which were analyzer feelings. Ask relevant questions, avoid generalizations, avoid judgment phrases and finally drop loaded action phrases based on those five steps. Think of a conflict that you have been involved with in the past that you apply T steps. What was the result? What did you learn and how are you? Apply this information going forward. We're now at the point in this course where it's time to bring it all together. Take a look at all of your journal entries. Look for patterns or ah ha moments or things that you've learned and become prepared to our next lesson to think about all of that. Bring it all together and I see you. 21. HDYSU 020 Bringing all together 1 V2: hi and welcome back to So you show up practicing emotional intelligence. I am so excited. This is our last lesson. And the question and focus of this very last lesson is, will you show up differently now that you have completed this course? What did you learn after you reviewed your accumulated journal entries? Did you notice progress from one lesson to another? Please refer back to the four competencies that we discussed for emotional intelligence which were self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management that you've noticed improvements or patterns. Where there any ah ha moments or insights that you've gained as you were going through this material. Please plan to be more intentional about your emotions and remember that you drive your emotions, they do not dry you and you do not have to believe everything that you think Ask the questions. Is it true? Is there evidence and finally make the choice about how you want to show up how you want to behave? You manage that, share your thoughts in the discussion for him, or send direct communication direct email. I would love to hear how this course may have impacted you both professionally or personally, please let me know if there's anything I can add to the course or change in the course that will make it even more valuable for you. In addition, if you would like emotional intelligence coaching or more information, please reach out to me directly as I am a certified emotional intelligence coach. And I do lead coaching sessions both individually and for groups. Please remember emotional intelligence is a practice you improve by doing each day. You will be faced with opportunities to put your emotional intelligence skills into action . So consider also getting yourself an accountability partner, someone to give you a checkpoint every now and then on how you're doing and finally be a role model for your team members for other leaders, for family and friends, everyone notices when you remain calm and are in control of your responses to surprises or difficult situation. People like to be around those who are stable, who are caring, who are focused and honest and have a positive attitude. Are you that person? So for your class project, keep journaling. Remember the benefits of capturing your thoughts in writing. It has been a pleasure going through this course with you. This is I ness Jordan, certified emotional intelligence coach and trainer. Please reach out to me if you have any comments or concerns or would like to learn more about how to work with me as an emotional intelligence coach, thank you and have an e I date.