Genius in 21 Days: Week 3! | Jerry Banfield | Skillshare
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21 Lessons (4h 19m)
    • 1. 43)Why could I always put my dog on a diet when they were overweight but not do the same for myself

      10:28
    • 2. 44)How I realized I was living a do as I say not as I do life and changed it

      14:49
    • 3. 45)Today try finding one situation where you can live by example

      8:25
    • 4. 46)See the yes or no choice you are making right now

      12:00
    • 5. 47)How the yes or no choice looks in my life at different times

      15:44
    • 6. 48)Today find the choice you are making about saying yes or no to life

      8:49
    • 7. 49)What is the future? What is it like to finally arrive there?

      16:43
    • 8. 50)Know the idea that you have to be somewhere or find something in the future

      12:33
    • 9. 51)Today notice when you are in a hurry to get to the future and slow down

      11:38
    • 10. 52)What do you think is supposed to happen? What do you expect?

      11:24
    • 11. 53)How to turn expectations in gratitude

      11:42
    • 12. 54)Today look for a place where you are expecting something and change to gratitude

      8:22
    • 13. 55)Accepting the past and using it to bring gratitude into now

      10:05
    • 14. 56)How I dropped the burden of my past and started learning from it

      15:35
    • 15. 57)Today see how your past burdens you

      12:12
    • 16. 58)Meditation opens the space where inner genius lives

      12:36
    • 17. 59)How I meditate today with very little effort and use meditation to keep space

      18:22
    • 18. 60)Today take a few extra deep breaths and think of meditation when in pain

      9:38
    • 19. 61)The surprising power of allowing and accepting uncertainty

      10:44
    • 20. 62)How I went from hating uncertainty to accepting and loving it each day

      18:52
    • 21. 63)Today accept the uncertainty in your life about the past and future

      8:18

About This Class

Continue with week 3 of Genius in 21 days here!  Would you believe after looking for months for a new website to host courses on I suddenly realized that skillshare, right here, was just what I was looking for AND I already had been using it.  I just had been thinking that skillshare was not good enough for me.  When I started thinking about what I could contribute and considering would skillshare be a great place to contribute it, now it is obvious just doing work here each day is an amazing opportunity.  This video class as a part of Genius in 21 Days I hope will help you see the same in your life!

Transcripts

1. 43)Why could I always put my dog on a diet when they were overweight but not do the same for myself: as I hope you can see in this course, everything is about leading by example. In other words, do as I do. I've found this has immense power to bring change to the world around me and to leave me feeling peaceful and serene and accepting of how life is do as I do is much different than how I've lived most of my life. And do as I do has been critical in letting my inner genius be out in a part of the world. Do as I do, leading by example, inspires people around me to look at how I'm living and give parts of it a try. Do, as I say, has the exact opposite effect, and most of my life I lived on do as I say, not as I do. So here's an example of Do as I say, my dogs. When they would get a little fat. I had no problem putting my dogs on a diet. You will have less food, both of you. You're too fat, and so I would shorten their food down, often toe half of what they were eating before until they dropped their excess weight and got at a good weight. And so I had no problem saying Look, you eat what you're supposed to and then doing the opposite myself Here I waas. I've lost over £30 in the last years. I've moved to do as I do. When I used to live on do as I say I was often 30 to £50 overweight, and here I would be putting my dogs on a diet. I know you can appreciate how ridiculous that is. And yet how often is that normal in our life? I see that everywhere, everywhere from politicians, down to the guy on the corner and everywhere in between, people telling us to do one thing, and then they are doing the exact opposite when it comes down to what they're actually doing. It's amazing to see how normal that is and how useless it iss how many times when you've told someone what to do, Did they actually do it now? I'm sure your brain is set up to remember the one time they actually did do it. If you look at all of the data, though, if I look at the thousands of times I told people what they ought to do. Almost never did they actually do it even when it was a DOAs. I do kind of thing. Even when I had something working good in my life and I tried to share that, I would always phrase it as this is what you should do it And the message was never received. And, of course, it was never received, because that's what I did. My dad had tons of good advice for me, my mom, my brother, my family members, my friends and I almost never took it, no matter how hard the person worked to deliver that message to me, almost never did anything anyone else said I should do because I had a problem with that. I felt like if I was going to be myself than I had to figure everything out on my own. If you want your creative genius, your inner genius to be out in the world, you can do that. If you live, do as I do. If you live, do as I say. Your inner genius will shrink and hide and not let out its potential because do as I say is toxic. I know when I was a police officer. The hypocrisy of my life. Just It was horrible. Deep down to my soul, I would be out arresting people for drunk driving, taking them to jail, doing a good job, getting all the fax. They'd often be double the legal limit arm or and then I'd be out drunk driving. When I was off, it was, Ah, horrible hypocrisy. And it bit me down to the core of my being. How can I go arrest this person? When I was out doing the same thing they were last night. No one arrested me. And by the end of my time is a police officer. I didn't want to arrest people for doing things wrong anymore that I was doing wrong. And I noticed plenty of other officers exhibiting the same behavior. Officers would either be overly tough, are overly slack. As I was becoming not wanting to do anything to someone who did the same kinds of things wrong. They did, even if it was in the past and they weren't still doing it. And eventually. Then I quit. My job is a police officer because I couldn't handle the hypocrisy. I couldn't handle all of that do as I say lifestyle. It blew up in everyone's face, especially mine. I created a huge negative situation in the police department by living like that. And so it might be more obvious in that scenario how bad it is in how many of our daily lives, though, do we miss out on all that? Do as I say and how bad it is. How many times have you been talking to a friend or family member on the phone? And you could just obviously see what they needed to do and you told them that. And then they just ignored you or they didn't do it. And you got off frustrated, like, Why can't you just see how easy it is to solve your problems? And how many times have you been in the other seat? You've been complaining, no friend or family member. You've been telling him this problem you have, and they told you they just interrupt. You said, Look, stop talking to that person or stop working there. Do this. And it was a really obvious solution. And you just immediately from the inside said, no, you are mad. They interrupted you. You were mad. They tried to tell you what to do. You were mad. They had the arrogance to try and assume that they knew what the right thing to do for you . Waas When they didn't know anything more than you told them when they didn't really know your life, then if they really knew your life, then then they would have advice worth listening to. But since they didn't really know your life, why was there advice worth listening to? I know my dad tried to tell me lots of times to quit drinking because he was an alcoholic and lots of people in my life tried to tell me to quit drinking. And it didn't work because I just felt like they didn't understand me. I was living to do as I say life. And so even when other people were leading by example, my dad was not. Colicchio quit and was sober the last 23 years of his life. He was leading by example, and I still couldn't listen to him because I was too busy trying to tell everyone else what to do instead of looking at my own life. And so today I must focus first on my own life. And as you've noticed, this whole course is basically me sharing what I do with you. That's the whole course. Now you can look through things and decide whatever you want to. You can do all of them. None of them. That's up to you. I don't know what's best for you. All I can do is share what I do and show you. It works. You can see it works. You can feel it works by listening to me talk. I am grateful Toe have the chance to do what I'm supposed to do and to be here in a share with you. And so you can see the power of do as I do the power of leading by example. Because then I don't have to ever tell anyone what to do. All I have to do is share my experience with things. So, like last night, I was talking to my mom, and I used to be terrible about trying to tell my mom what to do. Oh, mom, you need to do this. You need to do that. You need to do this because I felt I could No what she needed to do better, and she didn't. And now the main thing I do, I listen to my mom and I care about her and I'm there and I share what I'm doing in my life with her, and I sometimes will try and share. Like in this course when I think something I'm doing might be relevant or useful for her. I try to share it with her, and I shared this with her and she started thinking about it line because she's a veterinarian. And so she, in all the years of being a veterinarian, had never heard someone mention that before. About why is it so easy to control my dog eats and so hard to control? And I eat on what my mom notices that usually, if the pets had weight issues, the owners had weight issues also, and so do as I do is such a powerful foundation for living your life that I'm honored to be here to share it with you. And I'm very grateful to be in a place where I have a happy, loving life and I can share it with you and especially after so long living in the turbulent life filled with do as I say and not as I do. So next, I'll share with you a little bit more about how to notice what you're doing in your life. Based on what I have noticed in my life and opportunities to transmute, do as I say in to do as I do, and then give you some ideas that might work as to how you can do that today. So thank you for being here with me today. 2. 44)How I realized I was living a do as I say not as I do life and changed it: the first step to living a do as I do lifestyle is to notice exactly what you are doing for me. I had to become aware of what I was doing in order to see my behavior in some perspective. So when I didn't know what I was doing when I focused on the outside world all the time, when I focused on things like new stories and political issues and what other people were doing, I didn't have enough time or attention to actually look at what I was doing. And so I do things all wrong, like I'd focus on my weight, But I would ignore what I was eating on. Focus on my behavior, and I'd ignore why I behaved like that. To start with, I'd focus on what other people did and ignore my role in what they did. For example, driving I would focus on how bad other drivers were, and I would ignore my role as the judgmental driver who was labeling everything they did as bad. And so the first step. If you are not sure whether you're living and do as I do lifestyle or do as I say lifestyle is toe retract inward to look inward. To realize your entire universe is a product of how you were looking at the things around you. So I had a great example of this reading a book the other night. I looked through and I could see things I identified with in the book, and so I would not say, Yeah, that I did that. And then I'd see other things in the book that I didn't identify with as much and say, Oh, no, I'm not like that And I noticed that. And that was what was really cool because I've read that book a couple of times before, and I never noticed how judge mentally I read it those 1st 2 times. Thankfully, I identified enough so I could see what I had in common with the people in the book, enough for it to be useful for me. And it was a miracle to me to be able to see my judgmental reading as it happened to see the automatic mental patterns of judging what was useful in what wasn't. And to notice that if I wanted to have the book help me, I had to allow the judgments I related to to say yes, that was me and allow those in and accept those and then the simply allow the ones I did not relate to pass through me to not reject them and say, Oh, no, I'm not like that, For example, anything you're doing, like watching the news in your life, you can look at the news and say, Oh, there's just all these miserable stories I watched the news with my aunt other night. I don't usually watch the news because there are a lot of miserable stories. I watched the news with my aunt the other night, and the only thing I can remember having a feeling about was a positive, inspiring story. So I remember watching the news as seeing something that was positive and inspiring, and I'm also aware that most of the stories I let them go straight through me. I don't even remember them well enough to tell you about them because most of them had things that could be looked at his negative or miserable, and so I didn't reject it. I just let it go. In other words, I didn't hold on to it. I just let it pass through me. Let it go by the same way something might go by that you didn't care about. And so that made watching the news much more pleasurable and remembering it much more pleasurable because I held on to the good thing. I wanted out of that. And that's to me highlights and do as I do lifestyle. You do what you say you do in your life. I try and focus and grab on to the good things, the positive things, the loving and understanding things. And I try and simply let everything else go and even I have to let go of the good thing Sometimes. I recently had a friend that passed away. He used to call me every morning, and the only thing to do is just accept it and toe let that go. He won't be calling me anymore, and that's fine. That's okay. And so that's a do as I do lifestyle and saw. All you have to do is recognize, see rather your living and do as I do lifestyle. Honestly. Now, I bet if I watch this a year or more ago, I would have thought I was living and do as I do lifestyle at the same time. All of the commentary about a do as I say lifestyle would have bothered me a bit. It would have provoked a negative reaction out of me like you don't know me. You don't know me. That's not what I do. And now I notice, whenever something hits one of those negative reactions in me, there is an opportunity for me to work on something to do better. I used to live a lifestyle where there are hot button issues all the time, things that would provoke a reaction out of me, especially political issues. I would get really rile up on them. I would get all over this. It should be this way. It should be that way. This is Braun. You're wrong. He's right. Uh, and I get all exciting and you know what? The truth, ISS The truth is, I only got excited on issues that were related to the issues I had myself. Life is absurdly transparent to me now, which is weird, because I wanted to know all this stuff about other people. Now I can actually do it for most of my life. I wanted to know but was frustrated. I couldn't see. Now I often see way too much. I see someone react really negatively on some hot issue, and I just know it's because there's something deep down shameful. They have related to it again, I don't know, but there's pretty good odds that that's what it ISS, and it's hard to even given example without making it too specific. But often things like having an abortion, having a really strong opinion on that. You often see people who have a really strong opinion on it, who have some history of that themselves. They either had an abortion they felt really bad about at some point in their life or a family member did. There's usually something right there at the core of that that brings that emotional. And so if you live a do as I say life, the outside world will seem to provoke you all the time. You'll see something like an abortion thing on TV and just slip like, Aw, and now I noticed that as long as I'm living and do as I do lifestyle, as long as I'm being honest and I'm sharing with you, boy, I'm not perfect I'm real far from perfect. And as long as I accept that and love myself, then when things come up, I don't get all excited about them anymore. I don't get all like I just showed you, uh, this guys to be changed. I listen to some people talking about domestic violence things yesterday, and they were just so animated and excited. And you know what? They were both in a lot of domestic violence situations themselves. They had both been in on the domestic violence, not with each other, but they had been involved with it personally. And so to me, it's amazing. Out transparent life is now because, at least from my experience is rare to see someone who has passion about something that doesn't have anything to do with them personally. And so, if you can see this within yourself, then you can live it. Do as I do life stop. You can't see this if you can't see exceptions, for example, for me, I really try and look for exceptions. Toe. Where I'm living do is, I'd say, instead of do as I do. I look really hard. Where are those exceptions? Because those are the areas I can work on. If I'm living, do as I do in 95% of my life. I need to know about those 5% of situations where I'm doing, as I say, not as I do. For example, Driving has been a big one for me. I was a very selfish driver who drove as fast as possible. I'd cut people off. I'd make all kinds of dirty, rude moves driving. And so when I started being more self aware, I saw the hypocrisy of how I was always implementing. Do as I say when it came to driving, I was always pointing in other drivers, saying what a jerk they were. That was rude. You cut me off. And sure enough, as I've just explained, I have a huge history of inconsiderate driving, running up tailgate. I've tailgated thousands of people in my life. I have been the one who's got tailgated, probably once for every 10 to 20 times I've tailgated someone else. If I tailgated you before, I'm sorry I'm trying to do better. And so that is an example of where you can find that hypocrisy in your life because do as I do is about living a pure life. It's not a righteous life. I'm not need better or worse than you. There's nothing wrong in the grand scheme of things of living. Do as I say it usually hurts. You'll usually suffer when you live that way, as I've suffered so much of my life. If that's how you're supposed to live, that's okay. If you want to live some other way than that, that's okay, too. And I hope when I'm sharing is useful. If you do want to live some other way than the do as I say lifestyle. So all you have to do is see where you are living that way. Then you have the chance to change it, and it takes work to change it. It takes me every time I'm driving. I have to have this in mind If I don't have this in mind soon enough, I'm speeding up cutting people off. Someone cuts me off. I'm running over, cutting them off, slowing down. I've ran people off the road before. If I don't have this in mind while I'm driving, I will drive how I've driven before because I've driven hundreds of thousands of miles, which is over 2 300 ish 1000 kilometers. I've driven if you're on kilometers. I have a long established, selfish driving history, and so I can lead by example driving. I can be a considerate, loving driver if I realize that I want to lead by example and not tell other drivers how to drive and then do something different when I'm driving. It's amazing to see the difference that makes in my life. The other night I was doing a good job doing as I do and not as I say. My wife actually looked over at me, and she was confused that it was actually me still sitting there because I was driving so relaxed. Some car ran up on me at night, was flashing its lights on the interstate, and then it went around me and I didn't react at all because I've been that car. Most of the time I've been that guy that was driving crazy and fashion her lights and running up on people and going through all lanes of traffic, and I was OK with it. I didn't need to tell them out of Dr All I needed to do was drive my car as best I could and allow everyone else around me to drive their car. So as you can see, this makes life a lot easier. When you're trying to control, everyone else is driving. And I was a great manipulator of other people's driving because when you are a good driver who's just trying to drive their car, you will respond to all of the other drivers who will push you around. And so now I let myself get pushed around by other drivers, and that is actually a good thing. I'm not saying that I allow them to, you know, let me drive on safe my allow them if they want to run up and get in front of me or if they want to drive all crazy, I give them space instead of trying to crowd most of my driving. If someone was ramming, I'd try and run up on the car in front of me so they couldn't do that to me. And that is an example of how bad things can happen because when you don't allow space, that's when you crash into things. And so I'm lucky. I'm lucky that I have not hit another car before, other than a little bump in the parking lot. I'm lucky that with all the stupid driving I've done with all the do as I say driving, I've done that. I haven't hurt anyone else with my driving. And so today I try and do my best to just be a safe driver and accept other people's driving on their terms. So today, let's talk about what opportunities you have to give this a try yourself. 3. 45)Today try finding one situation where you can live by example: Today, I will try and find one opportunity where I can make sure to notice. Rather, I'm living. A do is I do. Lifestyle versus a do is I stay lifestyle and to practice a do as I do lifestyle. And so the easiest opportunity I see for that in addition to trying to do it with you here in this course is to do it on the way to the gym. I'm about to drive to the gym and 30 minutes. I've often driven very poorly and aggressively on the way to the gym in the past so that I wouldn't be late to my personal training appointment. So let's put this in perspective. I was a jerk on the road for 20 minutes so that I wouldn't be a minute or two later to my personal training appointment that I could have simply left 10 minutes earlier, too, and comfortably drove their slow. And so that's what I'm going to do today is to leave it 10 o'clock. The appointments at 10 30. It usually takes 20 minutes or less to drive there, so I'm going to leave it a responsible time, which will make it easy to live it. Do as I do lifestyle as a driver who's considerate of other people instead of leaving at 10 10 or 10 15 and trying to push the limit, barely get there on time or get there late as I've often been. And then I'm driving bad the whole time. And so the thing is, I don't have to drive bad if I've left it 10 15 either. The idea is to see where exactly I can have influence on my behavior and to exert it. The reason I leave late doing things is because I'm trying to push the limit all the time. I'm trying to cram eight things, and I'm trying to cram too more lectures in before I go to the gym. And so it often works a lot better to do less and then be in a place of peace and love and serenity to be in a place where I'm not tempted to live a do as I say lifestyle. It's much easier to live like that than it is to keep putting yourself in the situation and trying to not do what you've done before. So now the idea is regardless of what time I leave to go to the gym, I have the opportunity to lead by example to be a good driver. And most people are good, considerate drivers. Most of the time, it doesn't take very many people like me how I drove in the past, at least to make everyone else think, Oh, what a jerk people are when they're driving. And so the other part of that is for me to accept. However, everyone else is driving. That means if someone's tailgating me, someone's cutting me off. Someone drives by, going really fast and for me to accept that. So we're guard lis of what time I leave to go to the gym. There's opportunity there for me to accept how other people are driving and to not build a resentment over how they're driving. Like Look at that jerk. He's sitting and driving some mirror. That is not as I do is I do lifestyle either, unless that's what you want everyone else to do also, unless that's what you tell everyone else, they should do all suckle. And so I know language makes this difficulty even in trying to communicate this. It sounds judgmental, so I'm trying to send this to you from a place of love and peace and hope and serenity and faith, and you will receive it based on how you see the world. So I know I tend to attract people to my courses like you that identify with me. And so you're probably receiving most of it pretty well. I don't know. That's the truth. And I will guess The biggest opportunities that are available are places where somehow I cause offence, and now that is usually a place for me to work as well. I find if I do a video that's loving and caring, I usually can go without offending people. That said, I'm not perfect either. I noticed other people's imperfections tend to remind me of my own, and if they don't, I don't often notice them. So, for example, lately I've been wondering why is it people who are I guess, uglies, though easiest way to put it? Why is it they bother me sometimes, and it's because I've treated people who are ugly, and I know even using the words challenging, but it just makes this simpler. I've treated people who are ugly, really mean lots of times in my life and even seeing someone who doesn't meet my standards off looks reminds me of what a jerk I've been so many times to people who didn't look how I thought they should look here. I went around feeling sorry for myself, and here I was treating all of these other people I've been. I'm grateful. So far in my life I've been that looked similar to this may be a little overweight, some of it, and so it That's another opportunity for me to work on. That's one I've just noticed. Recently, I've noticed that when I don't like how people look, I have a hard time really leading by Example are doing as I do with them. I find myself trying to get sucked into those old routines. So the idea is when I'm sharing with you, today is something you can do every single day with every single thing in your life you can see I'm getting down to some things that, compared to all the problems I've had in the past, are much less of a problem right now. Nevertheless, I'm willing toe work towards perfection. I don't expect I'll ever be exactly perfect. But most of the work towards perfection tends to be when there are a lot of small things toe work on. When there's big, huge problems you have, it's often easy to see those. So today take a look for some of the areas that you can work on, where you can go from a do as I say lifestyle to do is I do lifestyle. So I'm trying to do this every day, all the time. And so I've given you an example of how I will try and do it right after this, as well as I've tried to give this lecture within that mind frame, I've tried to share nothing with you that I'm not doing myself. I've tried to be with you, who I'm trying to be in all things in my life, and that consistency allows your inner genius to really flower. I'm able to do this with you because of all these things I've shared. I wasn't ready to make this course before. This is a course that requires me to just lead by example. There's other courses I made. I could easily just show you how to do something. I wasn't doing anymore? This course I've got to lead by example or the quality of it just sucks. So I'm doing my best to do that with you today and today I challenge you to do your best. Do your best to live by example and see how you feel. See how life is on those terms. So thank you so much for being here today. It beats a lot that you're here with me. And even though I'm looking into the webcam now, I feel you here with me. And I'm grateful for that. So thank you. 4. 46)See the yes or no choice you are making right now: in every moment in all of your life, there is at least one choice. You are making the key to having, Ah, life. That's awesome. Where your inner geniuses ableto flour and where you can make a meaningful contribution to the world is to know what choice you are making at every moment to be aware of the choice you are making at that moment. Because if you're not aware of the choice you're making at that moment, you are powerless over it. And you usually you are riding on a choice you've made in the past. So, for example, you made some decision in the past, and then you simply stick to it. If you're not aware that you're making that choice every single moment to stick to it, then there's no possibility of being able to change it now. This might not sound like a big deal on the surface. And if your life's all going good and everything's fine, you may not see that need to look at what choice you are making in that moment. It's usually more obvious when you're having a hard time with something when something's not going well, then there's the motivation to look and figure out what choices in my making that is putting me where I'm at for me, whenever I'm down or not feeling very good, I still have a choice about how I respond to that. So the other night I was a little depressed, and as long as I was not aware that I was making the choice to continue being depressed, I had no chance to change it. Once I realized I'm making a choice to continue being miserable. I don't have to keep making that choice. And the choice I want to make is to choose to be okay with how life is because being happy , you can say that's a choice. The only real choice, sir is is to accept life, how it is or to reject how life ISS. That's the one fundamental choice. You can't necessarily choose to be happy in the moment, any more than you could be sad. So if you can know rather you're choosing to accept life as it is or reject life, how it is, that's a choice you always want to be aware off, as long as you choose to say no to how life is life will continue to give you more misery. More frustrated in life will continue to hurt you and be painful and be an awful experience because life wants you to say yes to it, To say yes that what's happening right now is okay. And I know this might sound alien because you've been raised to fight in lots of situations , to reject the life and to struggle against life. You will not let your inner genius out into the world fully. If you fight life, the inner genius, the creative energy you see coming through me must come from me saying yes to life. I cannot do this. If I'm saying no toe life, I cannot make these videos. I cannot create anything that is more than a copy of something else. I cannot create anything that has a positive energy flowing through it. I cannot do any of the work that you likely appreciate that I do when I'm in a state of saying no to life. And sometimes it's easier than others. There's something that's just started in the background that makes me want to say no to it . No, dammit, No. Don't be blowing using your blower right next door, making a bunch of noise when I'm trying to film. No, I could say no to that. But the thing is, if I say no to that, it hurts me. If I say no to that, then I feel resistance. I feel resentment. I feel anger and I can't make good quality work. I can't do good, creative, original work. I can't motivate your inspire you when I'm in a state off. No, lots of people can get lots of attention in a state of know. Lots of people that are frustrated and angry draw lots of attention. That's not where your inner geniuses, though your inner geniuses in a place of peace and serenity and acceptance of life. And if you look at Albert Einstein quotes, that's very clearly comes through. And if you look at most of the people you consider a great genius at something, they have that in their life. And there's nothing wrong with people who throw out a lot of negative energy and attract a lot of attention. That's not what you're here to do as a part of this course, and I know that because you wouldn't have got to this point in it. If that's what you wanted to do, because listening to me would have been boring. Listening to all of these lectures, you would have quickly stopped. And so I know that you've got this far. That's not what you're trying to do. You're trying to be at peace with the world. Your tried to do some meaningful work that's useful and of service to other people. And so if you want to do that, the only choice you can make is to say yes to life yes, to what is right now, you don't have to say yes to some story. And if you listen to Eckhart totally, this will sound real familiar. You don't have to say yes to o your life so bad and you lost your job. You don't have money or your kids won't talk to you or anything else that's wrong, or your dad died. You know, Mitt mine or you're an alcoholic or what? You don't have to say yes to that kind of story. You don't have to say yes to some kind of pathetic poor me or the world sucks kind of story . Yes, the world's a horrible, miserable place where people kill each other. Yes, nature's a struggle for survival. You don't have to say yes to that kind of a story when IM meaning is to say yes to this moment the reality that's immediately in front of you, which likely includes me either just in the voice or my face right here, talking that is part of your reality right this moment, and that is all there is to say yes to. You don't need to say yes to anything that's happened before, or anything that might happen in the future. The only choice you have right now is to say yes to what's going on, and that means just what's actually going on around you in your area of observation. What's going on now, or Noto? What's going on right now? Usually, that will manifest in the form of how you feel inside, because your surroundings will often change even if you stay in one place a lot. Things will come and go from your field of vision, but something that will feel like it remains constant lots of times how you feel, and so you might go different places and take the same feeling with you saying yes or no to exactly how you feel is critical. If you say no to how you feel. The irony is you're likely to keep getting more of that life. Want you to say yes, even if it's a bad mood. And once you say yes. Okay. You're right. This doesn't feel good. This hurts. Yes. And it's OK to say yes. As if you chose it. Because really, you did chose it. You did choose it. Every single thing you've done in your life leading up to this. Is that same one choice every single moment. That same one choice, yes or no? Yes or no? Every single moment. It just or no all the time. Everything, yes or no? Yes or no. And life will keep growing different things that you do. You like this? Yes. Is a great deal like this? Yes, it's wonderful. Do you like this? Yes, that's great. Do you like this old? No, no, that sucks. No, I do not like this. You take that back right now. I hate getting hit with this YouTube copyrights Tried. It sucks. I'm so mad. I again I use things that I've struggled with No, no, I don't deserve this. No. And you can see that poisonous energy that that no has. And so it's more about simply living in a state of yes, where then you can use the full power of this brain up here where you can bring the light of your consciousness into the world and do that genius work you're looking to do. So every moment I try and be aware off the choice. Am I saying yes to how things are or Noto how things are? And if I'm saying no, all I need to do is realize that I'm saying no, and then I can switch it to yes, right before I started, there was a guy using a blower in a neighbor's backyard before this, and I could feel the anger and attention building up like I just did everything. It's Saturday morning. My wife just vacuum. I just folded my laundry. I did everything to be in the position to film right now. It got perfectly quiet, and then right when I went to start talking, the blower came on, and so I was quickly aware that I was saying no to that? No, no, don't turn that turnout blower off. Ah, no, Don't you know I'm tryingto film right now? And so the irony is, once I said yes to it, it stopped. And that's how that's what I said, OK, it's fine. It's fine. The world is not revolving around me. It's OK that someone else is doing what they're supposed to be doing right now. It's OK. And within a minute or two it stopped. And then the key is Then I was able to immediately start sharing this with you in a place of love and peace in a good place. And it started up again during the lecture. So you might have even seen a brief moment where I said No, no. Nope. It just started up again. No. So as long as I'm aware of where I'm saying yes or no as long as I'm aware especially of whenever I'm saying no, then I can change my answer to Yes, yes, that blower can go ahead and run. It's not gonna kill me. Hopefully. So that is a huge part of being in connection in peace connected with the world. And your inner genius comes in a state of connectedness. You're a genius. Won't come alone. Frustrated, Mad at the world. Usually it needs to be happy and at peace with world. So you can see the world and then you can see places where you can contribute. So I'll talk more about how exactly to notice this choice in all different forms. Life takes. So thank you for being here with me. 5. 47)How the yes or no choice looks in my life at different times: the easiest way to notice this choice. This yes or no choice every second is to be a sensitive person. And by sensitive, I mean to be aware of what's going on inside you and to live a life where you're open and vulnerable by default. Most of my life, I did not live this way was not sensitive to what was going on in me. Oh, I thought about things all day, but I didn't actually pay much attention to what was going on in my body. I also was not open enough and in a place to accept what the world had to tell me. I went around with my guard up, bumping into life all the time, and it was very hard to tell what was going on in me. Things would always sneak up on me. So it's taken me a long time in a lot of work, to get that armor dropped off at the side of the road to just let that armor fall away and be the pure person I am inside. The kid who was born into this world, who just looked around and wonder and looked in my stroller like wow This is cool. What is that? And to be that person that's not all armored up to the world like, uh, the world is horrible. And I want to make sure I don't let any of it into who I am has taken me a lot of time to figure out and to get to know myself. So the main thing that helps me now that I am more sensitive and you can use this even if you're not sensitive if you start looking for it, what helps me now is to notice how my body is responding to whatever is going on. What I've noticed, when I'm saying no, my body starts to feel stressed. My body starts to feel anxious. My body starts to feel jittery. My body feels uncomfortable when I'm saying no with my heart, it radiates out into the body in the form of stress and anxiety and tension, nervousness. And that is how I know when I've started saying no. Because if you're in the habit of saying yes, then all you have to do is notice when you've slipped into. No, If you're in the habit of saying yes, I'm okay with how things are, then all you have to do is notice when you've slipped into. No, no. All right. No, no. That's all you have to do. Now, here's an interesting thing. If you are in the habit of saying no as I was for a lot of my life, all you have to do is notice when you're saying yes. When are you saying yes? Okay. Life is good right now. Life is just how it should be. And then keep saying yes. Once you noticed. Keep doing it now. For me, it was hard. A lot of the times I said yes, toe how life Waas was when I was drinking. I would say, Oh, everything's just great now and then I have a hangover the next day and say, Oh, God, this sucks. And then I'd be sober the next day and I'd still be in a mode similar to that, but I'd be a little better. Like at least I don't have a hangover today. This isn't so bad. And then another day or so would go by and I'd be in everything sucks mode. I need to drink so that I can say yes. That was my adult life. But before I ever drank, I didn't drink till I was 18. Before I drank, I was in that no mindset. I started saying No, Sometime 11 to 13 years old, my default response to life switched from yes to no. As I started to discover my body, and as I started to discover more about the world, I started to not like it so much. I started to feel things were wrong. We moved also right about the same time, out of a school in a place I loved to a new place that I didn't like his much, and I got in the habit of saying no. Most of the time before that, I'd mostly said yes to life. And so my life was good, even if there were problems or struggles. I remember saying no a lot when my parents would have an argument. No, no, this is so terrible. No. And then my parents argued. Maura's a teenager and came close to getting a divorce, and I just kept saying, No, no, no. And at some point I hit this critical threshold where my default response to life was no no , by default I did not like how things were, and yet I still had lots of places in my life. I said Yes, I said Yes to certain classes I enjoyed. I said yes to things like playing video games, although even in the video game there'd be lots of points. No, I don't like how this is. Oh, I died. I know my devote response switched toe? No. So there's some threshold that this is a way of thinking of again, where when you say no, a certain amount, your usual response to life, you get in the habit of saying no. So if you are in the habit of saying no, all you have to do is notice that, and that's why I'm able to stay sober today after a lot of tries feeling it, because I realized I was in the habit of saying, knowing that took help with the support group. I go to that support group because there's lots of people there who were in the habit of saying yes, and so I've learned from them how to say yes again. To be fair, I knew how to say yes to start with in my life, though That's how I started life at some point I got infected with No, no, no, no, no, no. Or at some point I made the decision to say No, no, no, no, no. And so if you are in the habit of resisting life and saying no toe life and feeling like you can on Lee say yes to life under certain circumstances for me, I used to have a set of circumstances under which I could say yes, drinking was one of them hanging out in spending the day with my wife was another one of them, and there were lots of other situations that I felt I could say yes in. And then if I was not in that situation, my default response was no. The idea is to notice that if that's what's going on in you to notice that no noticed that default, No, because once you see it, then you can change it because that decision, regardless of how long you've made it or what habit Sure, in that decision is being made. Now, if you're in the habit of saying no, you're likely saying no, a lot of moments in your life and all you have to do is notice that No, if you're in the habit of saying yes, it's a lot easier. It's so much ridiculously easier. But you can't get to a place of saying yes by default. If you're in a place of saying no by default, unless you see that you are saying no, once you see it, then you can easily move to Yes, by default, you'll do the things that it requires to teach yourself how to say yes on a more regular basis and not regarding the situation. I don't know exactly what that is for you. If you're in the habit of saying no, you will find situations. Once you see that you're in the habit of saying no one, you start saying yes more often you're yes, will attract you to situations that will bring out Mawr. Yes, is in you, and at some point your default response will flip to yes. So once your default response is flipped to yes, it's still just a much constant vigilance as having a default response of No, because if you're saying no, you've gotta noticing and keep switching it to yes, and you're automatically going to know sometimes, so as long as you can see whatever choice you're making, then you have the opportunity to move it into a yes. You also have the opportunity to move a yes into a no, so there's a lot of responsibility that comes with them. So here's how I notice in a more relevant situation that you might be able to see. So, for example, I explain to you that I noticed how my body is feeling. Well, if you're not very sensitive, it might be hard to tell whether you're anxious, but you can still try that now that you know it. Here's an example of how it happened the other night. I was down and depressed for a few hours because I made the decision to start saying no. My wife came home, and she wasn't impressed that I'd eaten dinner right when she got home. I had already started eating without her, and I just told her we had a nice romantic dinner the night before, and I just told her how much I liked having dinner with her. And so she didn't like that. But she quickly got over that. I mean, while started saying No, I didn't like how she reacted. I switched from yes to No. The problem is I did not notice. I switched from yes to No, until an hour or two later I went in and then went on you to me, looking for people who weren't doing courses away. I thought was within policy. And I sent some reports and on them using the new report feature. Then I got frustrated with my Internet upload speed. So then I contacted Verizon was on customer support for like an hour. And then I realized all Oh, I'm in a no, really bad right now, aren't I? And that's when things started to get better. After I had a few hours, I made it one choice to say no. And then I kept making that choice. If you don't see what choice you're making, you will keep making it. And even if you're saying yes, if you don't notice when you slip into saying no, life sucks. No, this is wrong. If you don't notice when you slip into that, you will keep making it until you notice you've slipped into it. So I noticed, as I was on the chant with Bryson. 00 What am I doing? I'm really making myself miserable, aren't I? It didn't instantly end. It started to go away, though, and I once I was aware of it, the power of it was broken down. I wasn't in such a place of hopelessness. Suddenly all All right, I'm making myself miserable. Okay, That's okay. Whatever I've done, that's okay. Let's try and make it better. And then this poor chat would respond. And so it took a while going back and forth. But here the choice came again. Then I'm like, OK, I'm Don't this port chat can't do anything about it right now. It's fine. Sat down, played some video games, some battlefield, and then same thing was not reacting in a game. Very well. Uh, I had some more. Yes, is in the game, though I wasn't quite as miserable Zaid bin before. And to be fair, my definition of misery now is fairly lighthearted compared to what it's been most of my life. But all everything's wrong with it, right? So then I saw my mom called. I'd called earlier in the day. I try and talk to my mom every day I saw my mom called and but I missed the call because I was playing the game. I think I saw it ringing, but I was in the middle of a game and didn't play and I missed it. And so here's what I knew and this is what I often pray for. I pray to know what the right thing to do is. I knew the right thing to do was to call Mom back. That's the right thing to do. Mom lives by herself with her dog. Dad passed away last year. Mom depends on me and my brother to call and talk to her and love her and pay attention to her. I hadn't talked to her that day at talking to people that you love and want to pay attention to. Every day is kind of the foundational thing you do, and it was already late. It was already close to bedtime, and so for a few more minutes, I'm like now I just want to keep playing this video game. Everything's going well. And then I realized that Then it hit me so clearly you're making that no decision. You want Mawr misery and as soon as I could see that. Oh, Oh, you're right. I am doing that. I don't want more misery. I don't I want to say yes, yes. So then I stopped playing the video game and called my mom back again. The mood did not instantly lift. I felt a lot better about the mood, though. There's this kind of humor when you're kind of down and depressed and you realize it. Oh, yeah, I'm down and depressed. I'm in a real funk right now. It's kind of gets to be funny. Like the Mobi responses. It's not so bad. It's not nearly so bad. So once I realized it, then Mom had had a few days of being a little Moby herself. Both of us felt really good after we talked to each other. Now imagine if I hadn't seen that the right thing to do is to call Mom back. Or if I had ignored it. Imagine if I hadn't started realizing before that I consciously was choosing more misery. I was saying Yes, give me more misery. If I hadn't realized that I probably wouldn't have called Mom back, I would have went to bed feeling bad and guess what? I probably would have woke up the next day continuing that same choice on what really did happen. I went to bat a little Moby still, but I was aware of it. The next day, I woke up with this absolutely explosive energy. I went to bed around midnight, which is much later than usual. And yet when my wife woke up at 5 30 I could not go back to sleep. I got right up it around six went crazy, making you to me lectures. That negative energy quickly flipped into positive energy and my inner genius just burst out into the world. So that is the whole point of this long winded discussion about choosing yes or no. If you can say yes to life, no matter how life looks, your inner genius will absolutely burst out into the world. As long as you say no, you will be lucky to do a good job copying someone else's work. And I spent most of my life that way, and I don't mean actually copying it. You can write little stories, you know, I wrote lots of papers and I did things that were that were got A's. We're not talking about AIDS here. We're talking about genius work. We're talking about doing your very best, so I'm honored. You've spent all this time with me. The air conditioning is off. I got sweat running down my legs right now, and so I must have been talking for quite a while. I try not to look at the time. I thank you for listening to this, and today I will share a little bit about how you can look for these choices and everything you're doing. 6. 48)Today find the choice you are making about saying yes or no to life: today. Right now, you can discover whether you're making that yes or no choice. If you're listening to the course and nodding your head and you're thinking this feels pretty good, I'm going to guess that's a yes if you've made it this far while saying no, I'm really impressed. If you find you're feeling anxious and resistant and this is making you uncomfortable, it's likely because there's a no response deep down in you and that's okay. I went through a lot of my life saying No saying that this isn't right With that feeling, something was wrong. That feeling is a no choice because if you feel like everything's right, regardless of the situation, you will handle whatever comes along. There are lots of inspiring stories where people have been in near death situations. For example, I write a book called Proof of Heaven by even Alexander, and he said when he was skydiving someone opened a parachute right below him, which that presents a near death situation. He only had a second or two to make the correct movement without colliding and killing both of them. So, he said, he went into this like peaceful, complete acceptance of how life waas, an incredible elevated state where he instantly did everything he needed to do to avoid the collision within a second or two, we instantly did every little tiny movement with effortless ease. He needed to avoid getting him and the other person killed. That is a yes to life. That's a yes to what is. It doesn't mean there might not be a dangerous situation around. That is exactly what your inner genius looks like. And when the opportunity is right, your inner genius will come out in a moment of yes or lots of moments of yes and your inner genius. The yes that you're saying to life is not based on what's going on around you. Now you might condition your yes or no to what's going on around you, but ultimately, the yes is a yes to life. As it is this moment. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday. It doesn't matter what's going to happen. A yes to this moment, and all of the stories make it harder to say yes, I'm looking at my upload speed right before this, and seeing it's going about 10% of the speedy usually go which means it will take about 10 times as long to upload a video as it usually does. That's a story that's not really vets, just something in my imagination. What's Riel? What's happening right now is I'm talking to you. That's Riel, and I'm saying yes to that. I don't have to say yes to my upload speed. That's a story when I do have to say yes to or I can say no to is whatever numbers I see on the screen. If a number pops up on the screen and says your upload speeds this fast, I can either say yes or no to that, like Yes, OK, that's my upload speed. Then I have a choice as to what to do. I can contact Verizon. They gave me a number to call them back. If it went back to being like that, it was working better last night. I can call that number if I want, or I cannot call that number if I want. But those air things in the future that's imaginary. That's not rial. The only thing that's really right now is the voice coming out of this mouth. The webcam, the black I mech. I'm looking at the stand, the lights, the background. That's riel, the shirt I'm wearing, my heart beating the lungs, the energy going in and out off my breath. That's riel. This microphone, these things, Aiken touch. That's riel. And so these are the only things I need to say yes or no to. I don't have to say yes to all of these stories. In my mind, I don't have to say yes to the money in my bank account. I can't see the money in my bank account right now. I have some idea in my mind of what it might be. I don't actually know, though it could be different. And so I don't have to say yes to the money I have in the bank. I don't have to say yes to whatever is going on anywhere except right in front of me. And that's the utter simplicity of life. So today, if if you can see that utter simplicity that very simple yes or no, that's there every moment, Yes. Is this OK or no? Is this not okay? And the only choice you can make that will bring you the joy and being alive of life is yes . Now, the strange thing is, if you've been living a stressful life as I've lived a lot of my life that no energy feels more alive than the peaceful yes, energy, the no energy and pictures. Something like riots that we had recently in the U. S. Air. Something that makes you mad. Something you got angry about recently and feel. Remember that energy you hadn't side around it that ferocious that fighting energy? No, no, no, no, that's wrong. These people are wrong. These things are wrong that the that energy is what people often associate with feeling alive. And to me, that feels miserable. That feels like hell. That sounds like all of the descriptions off hell. And so all I have to do is notice when I'm putting myself in hell because there's no one else putting me. I am the one choosing to be in heaven or in hell every second. Now, how crazy is that? I'm in heaven when everything around me is OK. And it doesn't mean that it's okay in terms of my money in the bank or what people are thinking of me. It only has to be okay in terms of is what I'm seeing and what I'm present with right now. Okay? Yes, it iss. And there's nothing that has to happen that has to change that answer to know there's nothing that has to happen to change that to know only I can change that to know if I decide I don't like something and say no to it. And so look for that choice in your life today. Find where you are saying yes. Find where you are saying no. Once you see it, then you can change it. If you don't know if you're listening to this and thinking I don't even know where I'm saying yes and no. What is this guy talking about? Look for watch yourself when something happens that you have a conditioned response to maybe you get yelled ladder, It could be something good. Even maybe you get praise or a compliment, watch how you react to it. See, Rather, your default response is yes or no. This course is a journey of self discovery. And once you know yourself, then your inner genius will burst out into the world and your energy nous will always be there at the core of who you are because it is already there at the core of who you are saying no covers it up saying no makes it go high. Your inner genius you could look at is in heaven. And when you put yourself in hell with the no answer, your inner genius will seem real far away. You'll seem frustrated like you can't create anything good like you don't know what to do. Like you don't have passion, that's what. No, that's what hell feels like when you're in heaven. You're fine with how everything else is in. Your genius will just bring light into the world. So thank you so much for being here with me. You can feel I've loved making this with you. You can feel I've created this out of saying yes to life. And so look for the choice you have right now. Look for yes. No choices toe life in every second of what you're doing. See if you can notice one area today where you are saying No, thank you. 7. 49)What is the future? What is it like to finally arrive there?: What is the future? Where is the future? I feel like the future was a place I tried to go most of my life. And yet if I sit here and try and define it to you, it's actually very difficult. Because where is the future? Is the future tomorrow? What about today? Isn't today the future of some past day? What happens in the future? Am I someone fundamentally different in the future than from now? How about the me that will be talking to you by the end of this video versus the me that's talking to you now? Is that the future? From that point of view, I could look and say that me, who you're listening to by the end of the video is me in the future. And this is me now and the me that was just talking. That was me in the past. Well, here's an interesting thing with it. The me who will be talking to you at the end of this video will be talking to you now just as I am talking to you now. The future is an imaginary place because the future only gets experienced through now and This was a hard thing for me to get most of my life I went through life looking for the future. I went through life seeking the future. I went through life hurrying through right now to get to the future the same way you might try and hurry through traffic to get to a destination. How many times have you done that before? Have you tried toe walk fast so you could get to class or to get to a friend's house or to get to somewhere, to eat or to get back home? How many times have you walked fast or drove fast and missed everything on the way there? Because you were just focused on what would happen in the future. What happened when you actually got there? What happens when you actually get to the future you've been hurrying to the future turns into. Now the future is just another now. So as long as you have this idea that the future is somewhere better than now, you're just like a hamster running on a wheel. You just run and don't go anywhere. The reason is that now is always now and the future never comes the future might look like it's came for a moment. You might stop running on the wheel for a moment and say, OK, I'm here. I've got to where I'm going. I see a lot of people doing this with making money online. I want to get to $10,000 a month. Once I've got $10,000 a month, Then I've made it. What actually happens when you get there? Well, now I want to get to $20,000 a month. What about $10,000 a month? Isn't that where you wanted to be, what you already are got there? I'm making that now. I want to get to 20,000. I talked to a guy in the phone one time. He was making $50,000 a month and he was talking to me and paying me to try and help him figure out how to get to $100,000 per month. And if he hadn't told me what he was making, I would not have known what he said any different from all of the people that are making no money online every month, that air trying to hit their 1st 1000 a month or the people making 1000 that are trying it their 1st 2000 or 5000 or 10,000. The point is, all of them were on the rat race. All of them are on the treadmill running towards the future. What I have right now is not good enough. I need to get to something that's better. And believe me, this is one I've done a lot in my life. And in fact, the most miserable I've been in my whole life was when I got everything in the now that I had dreamed of unwanted for the future I got with a beautiful girl, which was one of the things I felt like was in the future for me my whole life. Suddenly it was in its now got. And then soon enough, it was in the past. Oh, yeah, you got with her last night. Now what? I had a job with respect. I was making more money, and I never made before as a police officer. Wasn't that much money compared to lots of things, But it was very good money for a guy living single. And so I had everything I thought I wanted in the future. The problem was when I actually got there, I didn't know how to stop running towards the future. You could say I was a goal oriented person and when I suddenly accomplished all of my goals faster than I thought I would because just a year and 1/2 before that, I've been at the opposite end of the misery spectrum. I lost my girlfriend. I was in a job I hated, and I wanted nothing more than to just get out and be somewhere better. And so I had very strong goals and that was one of the fastest times in my life. I'd ever accomplished all of my goals so quickly. I didn't know what to do anymore. And then when I realized the utter misery at the bottom off, who I was, the foundation of who I was was utter misery and shame and frustration, and running towards the future had been my way of covering that up, going for that lie that somehow the future will be better than right now. That's what I used to cover up that I didn't like how I was feeling. Now if you cover up how you're feeling and you don't like it. Then how are you supposed to improve it If you have something you don't like in your life? If you want to improve it, the easiest way to take a look at it and get to know it. If you have a part of your house that needs to be renovated, would you just close it off and ignore it? Or would you walk in, take a look and say, Okay, well, this wall needs to go. This needs to be painted, and yet that's what we do in our lives. We set up this idea of the future as our place with salvation, and you can see that in religion. And the thing is, if you look at the words many of the people in the religion who inspired it, people like Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed that actually what they actually said. It usually doesn't say anything about having to go anywhere to get salvation, especially what Jesus said. You've got salvation now. You have eternal life. Now you don't have to go anywhere or do anything to have eternal life. You don't have to go anywhere or do anything to be happy. You don't have to live your whole life waiting to get into heaven. You don't have to run through your whole life to try and make it into heaven. You are in heaven now. You have eternal life. Now. You have love and forgiveness. Now you don't have to do anything to go get it. Even when he died, he said something like It has been finished, which meant kind of like the bill's been paid. Everything's done. Nothing else needs toe happen. It's all good right now. And yet that message has been the religious leaders over and over and over again. Have given us has been delivered into the human mind of insanity, which then puts up salvation as something you can achieve in the future that you can get into heaven in the future. If you work towards it. And so many of us tend to run through our lives as if we're trying to get to heaven. We run through all of our lives to get to heaven, and so heaven is this place we can get to in the future. And there's this implicit idea among many of us that now is not good enough and that we can make a better future now is messed up, but we can make a perfect world together in the future. If you've noticed all of the different ways of trying to make a perfect world, still, leave it just how it is now. All of the things we've done to make these utopian societies still leave the world just how it is now. In fact, you could argue we have, especially in the USA of very utopian society. In many ways, here I am, standing at my computer, making videos, talking to you in the morning. I've personal training later. I have a very utopian life, and many other people have a very utopian life here, too. And yet many of the people with the most utopian, perfect looking life are the most miserable. I had a very good life a year and 1/2 ago, and yet I was miserable. I had a very good life 2.5 years ago, 3.5 years ago, 456 I've had a great life my whole life, even when I've lived in some of the worst parts of town where ah girl got murdered right in the little apartment complex I lived in while I lived there. And it was a bad neighborhood in terms of those violence and drugs rampant, and I worked in prison. I still had a very good life. I still had lots of food to eat. I still had a nice, warm place to sleep. I still had human companionship, even if it wasn't exactly how I thought it should be. I still had a very good life, and yet I was miserable in the moment, consistently looking for the future, especially when I lived in the bad part of town. When I worked in prison, I thought very low of myself. It was about the most honest I've been and how I felt. I felt very low. I felt very demeaned. And I said, You know what? When I get to the future, everything will be better, that this is okay now because the future will validate me. And so I actually was happier lots of times there. Then when I actually got to the future that was supposed to validate me because just a year and 1/2 2 years later from that, I got to the future. Then I thought I wanted a nice, comfortable, good paying job. Is a police officer with respect with authority Beautiful girl that liked me a lot And I wanted a relationship Everything I thought I wanted absolutely everything Family doing good and loving me taking care of me Lots of friends video games to play money everything I thought I wanted. And then when I took out the idea of the future making me happy, I could see I was miserable in the moment. And wow, Did I lose my mind when there was no heaven to work for? Because then all I could see was how miserable I waas. And so what did I do? I toured out my life. I tore down and destroyed like a little kid might break all their toys. I lost the girl very quickly. I lost the job. I lost a lot of the friends, lost the place to live, moved home with my parents. And you know what I did? I learned nothing. I learned nothing because I set up those goals again. I said, You know what? Maybe that wasn't exactly what I wanted. Maybe I need a girl that I like a little bit more. Maybe I need a girl that really loves me. Maybe I need a better education. And I need a better job with more money. Maybe I need a nicer place to live. Not just a one bedroom apartment in a decent part of time. What? A one bedroom apartment in a nice part of town. So I did it all over again. I learned not. They I did it all over again. And you know what happened? I found an absolute angel in my wife. I started my own business way better job at most times and made more money than I'd ever made before. Lived in a nicer part of town then before, And guess what? Oh, I got everything I wanted. I'm still miserable again. And there I started to go into even more scary depths of misery than before. And yet I did learn a little bit. I remembered, Oh, last time this happened, I told my whole life down. I lost all of the things except my family and some of my friends that I thought I wanted. And I got desperate enough to ask for help. Okay. Okay, all right, Clearly, clearly I can't do this myself. And so in asking and finding that help, that's how I've discovered this. The future is one of the worst things you can use to make your life have definition now, because the future is imaginary, the future never comes. The future is an idea. All of life through all of eternity is now. It's one time point that goes on forever. And yet you only after would experience it right now. And I learned about this the hard way. So I will explain it some more so that you can help identify where you're going in your life, and I'll give you a few helpful things that I say to myself that helped me slow down because I've hurried a lot in my life towards the future, and I'm lucky I've so fully arrived at the future so many times at only 30 years old, there are some people go through life and never fully arrive at their future until old age or death. I'm lucky I fully arrived so many times I've got exactly to that point in the future where I thought euphoria were perfect. Happiness lies. I've got there. I've got there really good. And then realized Oh, I didn't need to go here to be happy. What a realization. So I'll explain more now how you can identify and see that in your own life today. 8. 50)Know the idea that you have to be somewhere or find something in the future: What exactly am I talking about With the idea of getting to the future? How do you know when you're trying to get to the future? Let me throw out a few phrases that are helpful for figuring things out. The phrase means to an end or something similar where what you're doing now is simply a means to getting to an end or whatever you have to do today. Simply a sacrifice, something you must suffer through in order to get to a better place. That is living life now with the intent to get to the future. The idea that it's okay to be miserable now because you will find something somewhere else in the future that will make it all worthwhile. A similar thing. That salvation is in the future, that life will be better in the future. And this happens on a very simple level every day, more than likely in most people's lives. And the trick is to identify it in your life, to see what things are you doing that you're calling Mawr important than others? Are you saying that driving and getting through traffic is less important than wherever you have to go that's been a big one through a lot of my life. I often looked at my time. Driving is totally a waste of time. Useless that wherever I had to go was so important that if I could drive much faster, I could save all this time and then I could be at my destination. Here's the crazy thing. No, usually it wasn't that likely I was going to die or get hurt at my destination all of that time driving. There was a lot higher likelihood to get hurt or to die so normally in your life you might look at times where you might dire get hurt as more important. And yet I want hurried through most of those dangerous periods of my life. I went to hurried through those and lucky I didn't pay that price because a lot of people do pay that price there in a hurry, and they get in a car accident. If you would have looked at that time driving as the most important time in your day, you wouldn't likely have got in that car accident most of the time. Now when I see people driving fast, I feel sad for them. I feel like I'm looking at a person who's sick, who is willing to risk their lives in the risk, other people's lives, to get to wherever they're going. They're sick with that disease off future that wherever they have to go, is so much more important than the dangerous driving they're doing right now. And it doesn't matter if you can see these things in other people's lives. It helps. It can help to see someone else, obviously sacrificing, suffering and making themselves miserable in order to get somewhere. I have a girl who I follow her Blawg, and she's doing a 42 day challenge right now, and she sent an email a few days into it. How miserable shears. It sounds like she's trying to get to that 42 days so that she can be proud of herself so that she can. When she gets to that end of the challenge, she can feel good about her weight and how she looks. In the meantime, she feels she has to suffer. That's crazy. That's just crazy because you don't ever get to the future for more than a moment. The future comes as now the future tends to be just the same as now. And so even when I'm doing something like my workouts, where it hurts or it's in pain, I use this little saying to help me. There's nothing I have to go do. There's no where I have to go be. There's no moment in the future that's going to save me or be better than this moment. Those little sayings help me, and when I notice I'm in a hurry, I try and slow down. I try and take a little bit of a deep breath. I know that I can slow down. And so that helped me to stay in now because all I really need to do as do a good job. But now I don't have to do a good job of the future. I don't have to understand the past. All I really need to do is do a good job with now, because now is all that Israel, the past in the future, our ideas. You cannot ever even prove the past or the future, because here's what's weird. You can show me a picture. You will be watching this video in what will be my past. However, this video is appearing in your now. This video is appearing in your present moment. You can't prove that I went and made this before without using the present moment to try and demonstrate it. So the present moment is kind of a place you're stuck in for better or worse, and all you can really do is point out of the present moment to the past or point out of the present moment to the future. It's kind of like you're on a train that you're going forward. You can't slow down. All you can do is look at the scenery and judges the scenery so you can try and look back at the past or look ahead to what the train's going to pass in the future. But the reality is your sitting in the same spot on that train all the time. You don't ever move things change around you and dropping the idea that the future is someplace different you will be will help you to have all the happiness and love and joy in your life. Now it will help you to let your inner genius out. Now it will allow you to not wait because you don't have to go anywhere to let your inner genius out. It can come out right now, and there's no other time it can ever come out besides now, because your past in your future are now. And as long as you hold on the idea that you have to do a 42 day challenge to feel better about your body, or that you have to get a better job to really let your creative genius out or even that you have to finish high school toe, let your inner genius out or that you have to move out from your parents house toe. Let your inner genius out. There's nothing you have to do later in the future to let your genius out. All the work is right now. There's a good Einstein quote that I can't remember, so I'm not going to butcher it. But it's somewhere similar to that that life is now. Life is not in the past or in the future. Life is right now. In fact, you cannot even comprehend the future or the past without doing it. Right now, you can't try and explain something. In the past, without using now to do it. And that's a great freedom because you don't have to wait for salvation. You don't have to wait until you die to go to heaven because heaven and hell are this simple. Heaven comes from knowing you are already in heaven. That's heaven, simply knowing that heaven is already here. You're already there. You don't have anywhere else to go. Hell is to be in heaven and not know it or to be in heaven and to reject it. Nope. I'm not in heaven right now. Having might come later. Might have been something I did before it. I'm not in heaven now. Absolutely not in heaven right now. Doesn't that look like hell? It's a complete, ridiculous irony. And yet it's something you can feel and experience right now. To know that you don't have to go anywhere is a great gift. And so you have to do is recognize whenever you are trying to go somewhere else, recognise the suffering that comes through trying to go somewhere else. I notice whenever I'm in the moment trying to go somewhere else, I'm suffering. I'm anxious. I'm annoyed. I'm depressed. I'm frustrated. I'm on edge. I don't feel good and at peace with life when I'm trying to go somewhere else now, it doesn't mean you can't go do anything else. It doesn't mean you can't set up plans in the future. It doesn't mean that I don't have a lot of my week schedule out. What it does mean is that when I go to leave for the gym, I don't need to hurry to get there because I will be there. And it's not any better to be driving than it is to be at the gym. I don't have to try and beat those lights because sitting in the car is just a good is being at the gym sitting in the cars. Justus Good is doing these lectures with you laying in bed. Is Justus good? Is doing these lectures with you Sitting in the car is just a good is laying in bed. And all of that judgment on our own lives is what creates suffering. Because when I was young man, I thought there were very few limited activities I had to be doing in order to be fully present in the moment. There was a very, very small amount of things that I felt I could do, for example, getting with a girl being in bed with a girl. I thought that was one of those very few moments I could actually pay attention of what was going on when the problem was that usually only would happen the first few times I was with the girl. Then I'd be out thinking about another girl. But yet that first time I would be with a girl. I'd be really present. I wouldn't be trying to think about being with another girl. I wouldn't be wishing I was somewhere else. I would just be there in the moment. And so I thought that to enjoy life, you had to get with a lot of different girls. And it turns out all you have to do is give up on trying to do something and just be where you are. Just be where you are, the future of someplace you can't go because the future will come. Now there's nothing I've found Mawr depressing and miserable than to set up the future is some beautiful, perfect place than to discover it's just like now that it's not any less or worse or better then the moment before wise, when you're living for the future, to discover that is utter misery, you don't have to do it the hard way. If you don't want to, you've probably already done it enough times. You can do it the easy way by learning from my experience doing it. They say a smart person learns from their mistakes. Ah, wise person learns from the mistakes of others. I've shared my mistakes with you with the hope that today you will have a chance to see where your own opportunities are to stay focused in the moment and toe, not go towards the future, so I'll share a little bit more about how you can do that today in now with you. 9. 51)Today notice when you are in a hurry to get to the future and slow down: today. Recognize when you are trying to get to the future, See, when you are trying to hurry into the next moment, all you have to do is notice it. Then you have a choice about it. Do I want to keep hurrying into the future, or do I want to just appreciate what I'm doing? One of the things you can do once you see your hurrying is to just take a deep breath. A deep breath is here. It's alive. It's now That's something you just can't do like I just did. Any time you can stop and take a deep breath, no matter who you are, no matter what your life is like, you have time to take a deep breath. You can gain a lot by focusing on the moment. And once you start realizing where you are hurrying, all you have to do is see one little point you're hurrying and you will enter this world more than likely where you realize you are hurrying way more. Then you ever imagined you were for me. I'll explain a little bit to you. I realized when it came to my drinking, I was hurrying to the next drink. Whenever I was sober, I was trying to push through my work, pushed through whatever I had to do so I could get to the next drink because once I had that first drink, I could relax. I could be in the moment. I could just appreciate life around me now after I had several drinks which with me as soon as I have the first drink, is fairly unavoidable. Then all kinds of bad things would happen, and so then I would be hurrying to get back to that next first drink and sometimes I would enjoy things like my wife and I will go to Disney and I would be there and peaceful and enjoy that day with her. And that's how I was able to break out of. My cycle of addiction is that spending time with my wife helped show me enough of what I was doing wrong in my life, that I was able to get help. A lot of people, if you don't have that positive presence in your life, it can be hard. So I'm hoping I can be a part of that positive pref with you. So again I would hurry. And yet, while I might stay in the day with my wife a Disney, I sure went and hurried to get to Disney. I tried to blast through that Dr. Let's get through this drive. Swing it to Disney and once we're there. Okay. We're at Disney A white What times That ride. All right, we got to go. Go get on that ride once we get on that. Right. Okay, I relax. This line's pretty long. Can we get to the end? Okay, now we're on the ride now. I can relax. Okay? The ride's over. That's good. I can experience. And when's our next ride? Okay, lets go. Get to that. What are we gonna do until then? Let's plan all that out. What We're going to eat. Okay, let's go eat. And then I'd be in a hurry to go eat, and then I'd sit down, and for a brief moment, I'd say yes. All right, I'm here. Let's eat. And the food would come. I take that first bite, and then I'd be in a hurry to finish my food. Because all my life I've been in a hurry to finish my food. I'd learned as a kid that if I wanted more food, I d fast finished my food. Then I could get seconds before it was gone. And so sitting there with my wife, a Disney when there's obviously no hurry. I was in a hurry to finish my food. Come on. Wants get. Alright, I'm done. And she's like, you know, 1/3 of the way through her meal. And then I could relax a little, Okay? All my food, we'd OK, where's the bill now? Where's the bill and pay the bill? All right. The bill's been paid. Okay. All right. Now I can relax. Alright. What times? The next ride. All right, let's go get on that next ride and then go get dessert. I did a little scouting, but we got to go get some ice cream. Okay, Let's go. All right, now we're having ice cream. Relax. OK, this is good. Okay, now we're don't ice cream. All right, now, let's we got to get back home. We got to get back home. Well, let's go get in the car. Okay. Let's go. Drive fast. I'm gonna drive fast. All right? We're back home. Okay, That's good. Now I can relax for a minute and then Oh, all right. Now. Now we need where it's time for bad. Let's go to bed. I mean, you're but for teeth and awesome, do my list. Rain. Okay, now I'm in bed right now. I got fall asleep. Come on, Come on, come on. I don't want to lay here in bed. Let's go. I got to get sleep. I gotta get sleep. Don't I got to get up tomorrow morning. I gonna fall asleep. Come on. Come on. All right. One of you tomorrow. Maybe I can use this time productively. Uh, I'm still not asleep. So then I go to sleep and I could be at peace, and I could relax a moment, and then I wake up the next day. Okay? I got work to do. I got work to do. I got I'm gonna drink later. All right? All right. Let's get this work done. And then I can drink and I get the work done. All right? Now I can drink. Ah, Let's have that first drink. Life is good. Life is peaceful. All right, so I'm playing this video game now. I'm on level two All right. I need to get to level 60 on this video game. All right, let me. All right, already. Delon, that drink. I don't need to go get another drink. All right, now, on my level five. Come on. I need to get level 60. That's my record. That I can feel really good, You know, like, eight drinks. Later, I get a little 58. All this socks and I lose on it s socks. This sucks. I'm gonna try it again. So now I'm not playing nearly as good. All right, All right, Now my level two. All right, I gotta get level 60. Come on. Come on. Uh, get to a level of 60. All right, on that level 60. Everything's good. Now I gotta get 61 61 year. Level 61. Everything's good. I'm gonna get 62. Ah, 62. Everything is good, and I'm on level 70 soon enough. High level 70. You're gonna get 71. That Ah, yes. I got the 71 then I go down. Oh, What now? Now it's 2 a.m. Now I'm wasted. And now I've did everything I want to dio. Well, This is boring. Maybe Maybe I gamble online. Yeah, that'll be fun. All right, I'm gambling online. Ah, And then the next morning Oh, God, I gamble online. I got drunk again. Now, I would just want to get through this. I just want to go. And then finally, a little moment all Maybe I'm doing this all wrong. Maybe I need help. If you can notice where you're hurrying in your life, notice it. Now you can experience a miracle I've just shared with you how I was able to notice I was always running somewhere. I shared with you what my life used to be like 95% hurrying 5% stopping to enjoy where I waas. And I thought that's why my life was miserable. I thought that all the things in my life if I could just have 100% of time that I could enjoy everything will be perfect. The problem I didn't notice was that I didn't have to do anything. I didn't have to go to Disney with my wife to enjoy life. I didn't have to drink and play video games to enjoy life. All I had to do is simply stop trying to get somewhere in the future. And I could enjoy life right now, and it took me having to be very sick and suffer a lot in order to see that I'm explaining it to you so that you have the choice today to stop running to the future. And you can make that choice now to be happy with whatever you are doing right This moment , which probably is watching this and may or may not include a few other things to be happy with exactly what you're doing right now and not need to go anywhere else. To be happy, to accept that now is just fine just the way it ISS and that the only way you can suffer is to say it's not so. Today you have the chance to notice where you are hurrying in your life. Notice where you're trying to run and grab for a future notice where you're trying to grab a whole of something that's not really and where your consistently frustrated that it seems like you can on Lee grab the future for a priest second before it slips into. Now, before suddenly you've got that carrot you were chasing after and now you need another one . You've got that girlfriend, her boyfriend. You've got that job. You've got that reputation. You've got that prestige. You've got that place toe live. You've got that car, that boat, And you can only have that for the briefest second before it becomes now and now. What else? So when you can see that you're asking what else? When you can see that you're trying to run into the future at the expense of now you can experience a miracle today just by slowing down, just by being here with yourself present and accepting that now is just fine and that you don't ever have to go anywhere or do anything to arrive in your life. The only time you can ever arrive in your life is right now. You can never arrive there in the future. So I hope today you have the chance to even get a little glimpse of this near life today. Look for one moment where you are trying to hurry or get to the future. We're trying to push through now into someplace that's better. Once you see that, you will unlock a miracle in your life, your inner genius will burst out of you. And the cool thing is, you don't have to do it in the future. You can do it right now as this lectures ending, you might see Ah, I'm in a hurry for him to stop talking so that I can feel like I've watched all of this and feel like I'm done with it. You might be able to see right now you're in a hurry for this to be over. And so now it is over. 10. 52)What do you think is supposed to happen? What do you expect?: what are expectations and how do you think life is supposed to be? These are two elements that will keep your inner genius locked up expectations and ideas of how life is supposed to be. See, your inner genius wants to come out of originality out of the unmanned. If est it un created into the world. When you think you know how things are supposed to be, then what happens when what you are meant to create goes against how you see things are supposed to be when you expect things to work a certain way, How can your inner genius show you a new way that they might work? Thinking of Einstein in all his revolutionary theories, How could he have made those if he thought he knew how life was supposed to be based on what he'd already seen before? How could he have made those if he had strict expectations for how he thought the universe should be? The things he made come out of a place of searching and looking rather than expecting and knowing, expecting and knowing. Block your ability to see new things. For example, if you think you already know how to live. Why would you listen to anyone else's ways of living? If you think you already know how to do good on a certain subject in school, why would you listen to other people's ideas for how to do even better? Expectations in life tend to poison the present moment because you project out this future , and if it comes true, there's often a certain boardroom to it, as if you already knew that. And when it doesn't come true, there's a frustration to it. As in all, I thought it was going to go this way and it didn't and I'm sad and I was wrong. That's frustrating, I know, because I've had so many times in my life where my expectations ruined whatever was toe happen. Dating was the single worst area for this. I thought I knew. I thought I knew exactly what was supposed to happen throughout each phase of dating what was supposed to happen on the first date, 2nd 8/3 date. I thought I knew exactly how I was supposed to feel. I thought I knew how the girl should behave, and most of the time everything went wrong. My expectations did not match the reality and the reality. There was nothing often wrong with it except that my expectations I had placed on it then led me to a place where I didn't like how things were. I didn't like how the girl addressed. I didn't like how she looked. I didn't like where we went to eat. I didn't like what she had to say it And like what I had to say. I didn't like that. She didn't want to make out at the end of it. One thing or another all the time, always wrong. And then occasionally, when things did go, how are expected, then I would end up in a situation where I was rolling simply on expectations I had not actually paid attention to what really happened. So ah, girl, actually did want to be my girlfriend and date me and do all the things associated with that. And everything went smooth and all of a sudden, oh, you know, I don't even like her. We don't even get along good. I was so focused on what I expected to happen, I completely ignored how both of us actually felt about each other. Two people just going through the motions, rolling on expectations, wind up finding they've been in a relationship for months and didn't even like each other that much. That's what expectations do. And when you do that in your work, Ah, horrible poison comes in when you expect, you know, especially with things like making money. When you expect you know exactly how much money you'll make off something. When you make all of these plans, then the only thing that happens is disappointment. And even if the plans do go even according to plan are better than usual, you will quickly adapt your expectations to take. That is normal. So then there's invariably disappointment built in. You say, like with my you Timmy sales, the sales of one up and up and up the last few months and I try not to expect anything for this month because if the sales go up and that's what I expected, then there's no thrilling that there's no excitement that if the sales stay the same, there's kind of this worry and concern like Oh, all. And what if the things go down? What if the sales dropped? Then what? Panic. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no expectations and thinking. Things are supposed to be a certain way poison the entire life around you. And yet we take that for granted. We take It is normal that we planned for things, and there's nothing wrong with planing for things. There's nothing wrong with scheduling a plane flight, planning on a hotel this day at planning somewhere to go out breakfast. There's nothing wrong with the planning. It's the expectations behind the planning. It's the we're going to go to Disney, and we're all going to have a great time in a wonderful vacation there. That is the expectation that tends to poison things because what really happens. You see a lot of families. I go to Disney a lot. You can tell a lot of families go there and there. So forced into trying to make their expectations riel, they get really stressed out and bent out of shape that push themselves too far to get all kinds of sunburn miserable. The kids air whining and screaming. The parents need another drink. It's just a disaster. Lots of times, if you just plan to go take the trip. If you just plan to take the trip and don't expect anything out of it. Then it's so easy to have a wonderful time because then you're really present. If you expect things, what happens, you'll go somewhere. And what you're doing is comparing how you expected it to be with how it is. Instead of simply looking at how it is for someone like Einstein to be able to make his theories, it requires your full attention to simply look at what is. There is no room for having these strict expectations and comparing them all the time. You want to just look at what is because the more you soak in what is then you can put back out that creative genius work. If you're so busy comparing expectations all the time, it's hard to actually notice everything. That is because what I'm noticed the most limited quantity I have in my life is attention. There are so many things to pay attention to, and I have so little conscious presence that I can radiate on things. So expectations, thinking. I know how things are supposed to be, draws in a lot of attention, so it's hard to do the best work when I'm paying more attention to expectations and how I think things should be, then how things actually are because the room around me, that's how things actually are when I expect to have a certain amount of money in my bank account, I could be disappointed when I expect to have a certain amount of sales on you. Do me a certain amount of students, a certain kind of reviews. I'm liable to be disappointed, and I share this with you out of experience. You know how many times I've checked the course and seeing a bad review and just felt like I got punched in the heart? If I don't expect anything, it's a lot better. And I'm able to handle things like negative reviews a lot better now because I'm not so entrapped in my own expectations that everyone should love my course that everyone should, by my course, that my course ought to be the top course out of all the other courses on the same subject . Expectations suck the life out of you, and when you have expectations and things don't go your way, you're liable to make mistakes, and I made some mistakes, all kinds of mistakes in my life because things I thought will go a certain way didn't go that way. And then I got mad, and then I reacted. Then I tried to force things to go that way, dating so many times with that, the letters of drama, of how much I love you and how this is just going toe be the thing that changes your life and all the phone calls I would ignore girls trying to tell me the same thing and just disaster after disaster. Frustration after frustration and I made all those frustrations, I didn't have to make all those frustrations. I did make all those frustrations. And now if I want to do great work, I have to lower my expectations. My mom said something that's great exactly for marriage, she said. You know, I used to expect all of these things with your dad, anyone. He did them then I wasn't grateful, and I was disappointed every way he didn't meet my expectations finally got to the point where I expected nothing out of your dad and everything he did then I was thankful for, and now Dad's passed away. So Mom often says she'd give anything for another day with Dan, and she doesn't have any expectations on that, she says, even for a bad day with Dad. And so it helps me to have a happy marriage. Now, do not expect anything out of my wife because expectations just strangle life. So thank you for watching this. I hope this is somehow aligned with whatever expectations you had Ford. Or maybe that you didn't have any expectations for it. And you're sitting here nodding your head like, Yeah, okay, this is cool. I'll explain more to you about how expectations and how life's supposed to be, how that interacts and effects everything in your life. And I'll give you a way to turn expectations and thinking how things are supposed to be into gratitude. 11. 53)How to turn expectations in gratitude: The key for me in overcoming what I think life is supposed to be in my expectations on life is to change my expectations. And when I think life is into gratitude, when I expect something to be grateful for what I have in the moment. So for example, I expect that when I filmed this, I will be able to quickly edit, render it and upload it. And what I can do to work with that expectation is be grateful and to say Thank you for having this amazing computer here. Thank you for the ability to edit this quickly and saying Thank you when it actually goes in up loads and works properly because it's hard to actually delete expectations. What I can do is be aware off the expectations I have and then to practice gratitude throughout the process. So I certainly have expectations for what I think my wife will do later today or tomorrow or next week, And what I do that works is I practice gratitude all the time, and then whenever some expectation I have is not mad, then that's where the work comes in. To really practice the gratitude and to say look, you expected this. There is no reason to expect it. You're thankful, Very thankful that you have such a wonderful wife. Thankful for all the wonderful thing she's done for you all the time. She stayed by you and Ben with you when you were sick and went through struggles together and works to be a better person with you. So that helps me a time. Because when you're in the habit off thinking life is supposed to be a certain way, it doesn't change overnight. It takes a lot of daily change. But practicing gratitude in the face of expectations really helps to get the power of those expectations not so potent. Especially when things go wrong. And when things go right toe have that gratitude that expectations awfully remove. So if you didn't expect anything to happen, you suddenly got a check for a $1,000,000. You'd probably be like home an He'd probably be so grateful. And yet, if I told you, you're going to get a check for a $1,000,000 then you took a long time getting it. I said it was going to come in two weeks, and it came in 234 months, You probably get all overly excited. At first, you'd probably be way over the top and then you'd probably go down this path. After about three weeks, you get mad, you get frustrated, you'd be angry and then by the time to check, came in like three months. You'd probably just be like, Screw you. I don't want your stupid money. That's what expectations do. Now imagine that scenario without expectations. I call you up by Sam giving you a check for a $1,000,000 in two weeks. You'd say, OK, that's nice, because you wouldn't expect that it would actually come. You wouldn't have an idea of life that now included. Oh, I'm going to get a $1,000,000 in two weeks. So in two weeks, you wouldn't really care. Oh, it's fine. I don't need that anyway. And I wasn't expecting it to happen, so I haven't lost anything. Nothing's wrong. I'm grateful for what I have. Still, and then in three months on the check came, you'd be like, Oh, wow, this is really awesome, As if it wasn't promised to start with, then you'd be really excited like Oh, that's cool. But you wouldn't be way over the top, though, because again, being excited about a $1,000,000 is based on expectations on what you could do with it. Well, I'm gonna buy a car to buy this nice house. I'm gonna upgrade my spouse. I'm going to upgrade all my Children, Gonna sell the ones I haven't by better ones. Not me. That's kind of ridiculous. But you get the point. That's how people think that money is just going to buy them a whole new life and get rid of everything. Those are expectations. Those are how poisonous expectations are When you can see that poison that comes with expectations that ruins beautiful things. Things like I would have a date with a girl and I'd be so overly excited. Who, Who? Maybe she'll be my wife. Maybe she'll be my wife. Who who Maybe we'd mess around. Yeah, and maybe she'll be really pretty. And so look at how impossible. I just made that date because even when I met my wife, things didn't quite go according expectations. And the one thing that did go right is after the third date with her, I started to drop of my expectations and just look at Oh, I don't know what's going to happen with this. I'm grateful for every date I have with this girl, and that's enough. Whereas every other day before that I had to be working on finding a perfect wife, and my expectations just always ruined things for me and the other girl I was going out with. And to be fair, the girls always had expectations to what I should look like, what I should say, how I should act. And their expectations were quite frequently disappointed, too. So imagine dating without expectations, without the idea that you have to immediately marry this person and they have to be perfect . You could just get to know people and naturally, over time you would be attracted to a good spouse instead of forcing all these situations that then lead to divorce, and then all this misery and suffering kids out of wedlock and all of the awful things that we do to each other. They all come from expectations and thinking, you know how life is supposed to be. If one person has expectations that one person is likely to suffer most out of them now, they can make other people suffer. But the fact is you can Onley control your expectations. You can live a better life. You can let your inner genius out by lowering your expectations and practicing gratitude. You're not going to be able to lower your expectations overnight, though it takes a lot off consistent effort to make new routines and to be in the habit of expecting less. I've done a really good job with this. If I do say so myself on vacation, I try and expect very little out of a vacation. I try and only plan like one or two things to do. My parents would take my brother and on these nice vacations that were very expensive in Europe when we lived in Europe. So we take these bus tours and the tour every single minute was planned out of the tour. If you had down time. It was really annoying because you felt like you're supposed to be at the hotel, on the bus or in a restaurant, or seeing something downtown. When something went wrong, the whole tour would flip out. Often, everyone on the bus would get all pissed off. What what stuff you know my parents and my brother and I will. Now this stocks did sucks, and it was comical to see how all of us kind of acted like little Children. The wax museum. One day we're going to England. The tour guide was trying to more interested in going out to dinner with some woman on the tour, then getting a senator wax museum and all. My brother and I decided we wanted to do with see the wax museum and we didn't get going. All of us, even my parents got all pissed off and they spent all this money on the tour, and the main thing we remember out of it is how mad and pissed off we were that day. I also remember a good dinner at the Beefeater, you know, a little aside, Imagine taking that tour with no expectations. Imagine riding the bus looking out, just being amazed by all the sites and not expecting that at six o'clock we'd be going into the wax museum. At 7 30 we'd be sitting down heat dinner at 905 would be going to use the bathroom in the hotel if you don't have expectations. Life's a lot better. And so if you just have gratitude, you can choose this moment always to have gratitude. You sometimes will get stock with an expectation you made not working. I have a lot of expectations. I don't even realize I'm making. I can always change it to gratitude at this moment, though, and I'm I freeze I like is thank God because it's so simple. Thank God that's a very easy gratitude phrase to use. Thank God when I wake up in the morning without a headache or a stomachache, I thank God it's nice when I have a normal bowel movement. Thank God, because when you get to know people, especially that are older, they don't take for granted that their bodies work right anymore. And in 30 years old, I've often took for granted. My body should work right. Everything should do what I think it should do it the right time and right place in its nice to just thank God for having a normal bowel movement like That's nice. It's nice to not expect that that's going to go a certain way to understand that there's lots of people out there who don't hardly get a normal bowel movement anymore. And so it's nice to appreciate all those little things in life because of a new go through your entire day. Expecting Everything's going to go Life kind of sucks, at least for me. It certainly did. When I go through, I can choose to practice gratitude or I can choose to work on an expectation. So I am grateful to be here with you doing this lecture. I have some expectation prowl along the lecture should be. But at the same time, I'm grateful to do them and sometimes are a little shorter, a little longer than I think. I don't use the script because I don't want to expect and plan on what I'm going to say, because that it's harder to be honest with you. It's harder to really share things, and sometimes you might have wished I'd left the bowel movement comment out When I see I would never have put that in the script. But that's honest. That's really that's something I was just grateful for, that most of my life just fell under expectations. I didn't even notice, And expectations turned into gratitude will be a miracle for you and it can be a miracle right now. If you're expecting this course to do a miracle for you, The truth is, it won't. The miracle comes from within you. This course can help show you where it is. But ultimately I'm can't go any farther than this web camera. This microphone with you, I'm just a voice in your head. One voice, one thing out of the whole world. I'm pointing to something that's inside you, and all you have to do is let it out. So today I will explain my ideas on how you confined expectations to change into gratitude . 12. 54)Today look for a place where you are expecting something and change to gratitude: today. Try and notice your expectations on life, even if you can just see one seeing expectation you have that you weren't aware of before. For example, I'm working on making a call of duty video later for the new Map Act that came out. I realized I expected I knew where the recorder element was for that, that I connect from the Xbox to my computer. It turns out it's not where I expect it to be, so that is the exact kind of expectation that's worth noticing. And I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to do this video. I'm grateful I have the chance to do the call of duty videos later. And that gratitude is what makes the failed expectation not so bad, because when you have expectations and they go wrong, then life gets to be frustrating. Life gets to be challenging, and the thing is, if you just live in the moment and don't expect things to be a certain way, and don't think life supposed to be a certain way and are grateful for what you have, life is really, really easy. It's almost stupid, easy, and that's where your inner genius will come out to play. That's where your inner genius will amaze you. With the quality of work you can do, you will absolutely be blown away by how much capability you have to make exceptional work . I am honestly shocked right here. I can make videos like this that even when I watched them, I actually like them. I couldn't stand watching some of my videos before, and I watched some of my videos. And now and I'm like, Wow, who's saying that that's me? Because it's not really me. My inner genius is allowing this to come into the world. You could say I'm trying. I'm working to allow the divine spark to show through me when you have expectations on life . It poisons your purity toe. Allow those divine spark into life. Life is full of expectations. Life is full of people who say how things are supposed to be. And most of my life has been poisoned by my expectations of life by thinking I knew how life waas and so it was no surprise that I wanted to numb. The pain of that is often is possible. It's hard to do great work when you're in pain. And let's not confuse some people do great work out of pain. We're here to let your inner genius out. Your Albert Einstein out because the most brilliant, amazing work and it doesn't have to be something like a theory of relativity. It could just be raising your kids with love. It could be being a loving parent or spouse or a brother or friend. You're here to let your inner genius out to inspire other people's. We're kind of here to do an awakening together to allow a new era off human enlightenment. You could say a new way of living. We're here doing this together, inner genius, that is at the core of it. And you see these people throughout history like Einstein, Er, maybe look at Jesus or Buddha as something like that, someone who had this inner genius out to do these amazing things that no one else even could understand. The idea is to allow you to do that kind of work. So it's not to know exactly like I say with expectations. If you expect you know exactly what this will lead to, it's not likely to go very far. I don't know where this is leading to at all. All I do is make these videos, and it seems kind of absurd to me. All the things that keep happening from here. All I'm doing is making videos, talking about my life, talking about the miraculous change I've seen in my life, coming from a place of struggle to, ah, place of peace and gratitude when you really start letting go of your expectations. And today, right now, you have that chance. If you can even see one expectation, you've got a basic idea basic formula to see all of your expectations on when you can see mawr and mawr of your expectations, you can keep intentionally changing them to gratitude can notice when you go to the bathroom. Very strict expectations for what should go on here. There's a place to be grateful. I'm glad something negative doesn't happen while I'm in there, or I'm glad as something negative happens and it gets over quickly. Well, im glad if something negative happens, I don't have to do it again for a few hours, changing these places of expectations and gratitude. Like food. You find yourself eating food you expect, you know how it tastes before you've even eaten it. You take one bite and you expect you know how the next bite should taste. Try to see gratitude. Thank you, God or thank you Universe. Thank you. Whatever. Whoever thank you for this meal and you'll find each bite of food tastes a little bit different. And then that whole element of boardroom will just evaporate. You might or might not be surprised to hear sometimes. What I do for food is I will buy £3 of turkey ground turkey, spice it up, put some peppers in, cook it on Monday and eat that all week for every meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner off. Two tacos, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Two tacos and all of some snacks and other things. But the staple of the meal, 1800 or so calories of the day. Two tacos, breakfast, lunch, dinner. I'll sit there, needed over and over and over again. If I don't expect, I know exactly how it tastes. It's fresh. It's unique. It's one every single bite. It's not boring toe. Have something that tastes a little bit different and taste good. Every single bite. It's boring when you expect. You know how a taco tasting you already had a taco for breakfast and lunch and dinner the day before and breakfast and lunch today. And damn, it is dinner again and already know how this is going to taste. This is born. That's a perfect example of whole life poisons things with expectations. If you can see just noticed expectations you have and put a little effort into turning that into gratitude, you will be amazed at what happens. All you have to do is do it now or as soon as you can, or any time today do it and watched a little bit a little tiny bit of change that happens around it. I'm addicted to it, you could say. Now I love looking at what I'm doing in my life, applying some love and gratitude and seeing what happens, And I'm absolutely shocked at how good my life is today. It's ridiculous. Bad things happen, and I am consistently able to take them in stride, and the things that hurt are often absurd now because there's some area of expectation I haven't looked into. So I'm thankful to be here with you today. I'm thankful that you can do whatever with this you want to. I don't expect you have to do any certain thing with it. I'm just honored you're here and appreciate all the time you've spent with me. 13. 55)Accepting the past and using it to bring gratitude into now: What role is your past playing in your life? How do you see your past? Considering the past? That means everything that's happened before. This moment is really helpful for letting your inner genius out to realizing your true self and potential. The past, as I see it, is something that I must accept and used to bring gratitude and knowledge into this moment . So I'll say that one more time in a little bit different way. The past is something I cannot change. And so any efforts on my part to try and go think how things should have been to try and go understand how things were to try and relive the past. All of that is futile. I gained nothing by doing that unless it's in the purpose of bringing knowledge into what I'm doing right now. Ah, great way to do that is to look at things that were bad that happened in the past that are not happening now to bring gratitude into this moment, that whatever was seemed so impossible to get through or so challenging in the past. Now, in this moment it's over with, and their from their springs gratitude. This is how I see the past in connection with bringing the inner genius out into the world . What I've done most of my life is used. The past is a torture chamber as some tool for pleasure or something. I needed to understand a torture chamber in the sense that I would go back into the past. I would be so frustrated with how I acted in the past and I would sit there and relive it, The Times said. I did something wrong to someone. The times The situation simply didn't go well, and I happened to be there. I would go relive these memories from the past, and what would happen from that is I would miss out on the present moment. It's hard to do great work and to be connected with the world around you when you're reliving yesterday or 10 years ago, I've known is talking with a lot of people in my life, especially people who have more life experience. You could say often people who are 50 and over the past is such a big part of who they are that talking with them in the moment, it's often inseparable from existing with them in the past. So one moment will be talking about now the next moment 10 years ago, the next moment five years ago, the next moment 20 years ago. And so the majority of the conversation will often end up being about things that happened before. And there's this human quest to understand and conquer the past. Let's explain how the dinosaurs existed and what made them extinct. Let's understand exactly how the holocaust happened in World War Two. Let's understand exactly the role that communism had and rise and fall. And let's understand all these wars. And let's understand how human civilization developed. Let's understand all these things. There's nothing wrong with trying to understand the past if it is used to inform the present. If knowing something you've done before can help you with what you're doing right now, then that's useful. Understanding something simply for the steak off. Trying to feel like the world is now understood. That is often not a thing you can use to unlock your inner genius. That's not often a way you can do better in the moment. For example, For me, I don't need to try and go back and understand exactly why I went to college, Why I chose the college I did or why exactly? I got the grades. I didn't college because that's not helpful for right this moment. There are things I can remember from the past. But what I've noticed is the majority of my memories from the past are not helpful from this moment, their arm or of things that are triggered, I'm reminded of past memories based on the moment my mind is attempting to help me. Bye. Oh, look, you see, this doesn't remind you of this. There's nothing wrong with that. And there's nothing wrong in the whole equation. The idea is that the more time you spend in the fast the mawr time you spend trying to relive and understand the past, the harder is to focus on the present because you have no control over the past at all. You have Onley control over this moment. You can't do anything about what happened in the past, and in fact it's impossible for you to be here without every single little detail of the past being exactly the way it iss. So from there comes great relief. And yet, the past is not meant to be ignored. There are many things from the past that you can use now to inform your decisions. So, for example, I've made these lectures before. I can use what I know about making these lectures from my past experience making these lectures. So, for example, what you just saw right there was a slight and it I made. I know from my past experience making these lectures that if I'm suffering some kind of minor physical discomfort while I'm making the lecture, it's better to just stop handle it and then come back. So I had a little bit of mucus in my nose. I was having a little anxiety from that. A little challenge breathing. And I've worked through that in past lectures, so I know that from my past, experience is much easier. Instead of trying to push through a lecture to just stop for a minute, handle whatever mood or whatever passing thing has come along. That's bothered me, deal with that and then come back to making a lecture for you. It's weird if I'm sensitive enoughto life, I usually get help making his lectures for you in the form of things that happened to me like that just happened to me. It sets up a perfect example. Knowing my history of making these lectures helps me to do a good job right now, making the lectures now, thinking about my entire life history right now, trying to understand a certain situation happened throughout my life trying to understand why the dinosaurs went extinct. Most all that is a relevant. So if you look at it from a data point of view, the information you have about the past is usually the majority of the data you have about the past is not relevant to this moment Now. The same time there's always something from the past that is relevant to right now the idea is for me is to accept the past is something I can't change and to use the past to inform and help me to make the best choice and to do the best work now. You certainly can't work in ignorance of the past in this moment, for the most part, because most of what you're doing builds on what you've done before. So I know this lecture is part of a course that I've built on before, and I take the format into account the three lectures to keep things consistent, the rough amount of time I spend in each lecture to keep things consistent so that you get a consistent experience throughout. At the same time, I don't need to remember what I said at all the other points in the course, because we're just here talking right now. This is something fresh original and or just here talking in this moment, I don't need to reference all the other things and have all that in mind when I'm trying to make this lecture. I just do it from the heart now because that's how you are experiencing it now with me. So it's very challenging in life to manage the past because we're raised that the past defines who we are. What you've done before defines who you are now, and that tends to be like a great burden. Most of the time, all of those bad things we've done. We end up taking ownership off those things. Like I did this bad thing. That's my pain. My wife just said it breakfast. I like to keep my pain close to me and That seems to be how most of us are. We like to take on these things that have happened in the past. These memories. We have these pains we have as something that we own. And so the only way to be free of those is to accept that they cannot be changed to drop them, to not take ownership over them and to do the best we can each moment Onley using what is useful in the moment. So I know this concept might be something a little bit new, or it might be a little bit challenging to take in right away. So what I will do? I'll try and go in a little bit more as to how I put this into practice in my life, accepting that the past is something I can't change and using the past to bring gratitude and knowledge into what I'm doing in this moment. 14. 56)How I dropped the burden of my past and started learning from it: what I've been doing, especially over the last year, is working each day to drop the burden off my past and to actually learn from it. What I did most of my life was carried the burden of my past around and repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again. Your creative geniuses, very child like and innocent and will just spring out into action unless you're carrying around the world on your shoulders and life feels heavy and you don't feel like you can accomplish anything because of your past. In fact, I would argue the past is the main burden most of us have in getting to our inner genius. We feel like the past matters and like it's important and that everything that's happened before is very relevant for now. And while that has some truth to it, because you wouldn't be here now without the past, the past is completely irrelevant in what you do now, unless you make it relevant. And for most of my life I made it so relevant. I felt like my life was full of external controls all the time. I missed out on the choices in my life I simply lived out the previous choices I had made. I was so stuck in my past that everything new I came across was all processed and pushed through the past. And then I rarely actually made decisions in my life. I simply used my past conditioning to push through the moment with the hope to get some better future where I wouldn't have to do that. And so what I had to do in order to be free of the burden of past is to go back and look at the past honestly instead of trying to run from the past. I spent a lot of my adult life trying to run from the shameful experiences that all of us likely pile up in one form or another during childhood, where we lose our innocence and start seeing the world as this dangerous hostile place. Or we start seeing ourselves a sturdy, nasty, ugly person inside. Where did that pure sense of life and love and just fun go that we had as a little kid, that we'd run around and look at things with wonder without the need to name number? Describe them, but just see something new and say Wow! And just to look and to just not judge everything either to not point and everything and say she's mean, he's a jerk. This is wrong. This is right. That child is where your inner genius is born, that childish wonder of looking at the world and seeing it instead of trying to tear it down like we do. Often as adults, we grow up. We're ashamed of who we are inside. And yet we try and put on this superiority face to the world like Look how great I am when inside, I really feel awful about myself. Or look, I'm a perfect person and then trying to hide and deny everything that doesn't fit with that or the opposite tryingto show. I'm just is awful little person who is not worth anything who can't do anything who doesn't deserve anything when you deserve Justus much. You are worth Justus much as anyone else, so those extremes are so common, and those are almost always related to the past. And that comes out in the form of wanting to change the past of looking back at the past is if it's so important talking about how this one day somehow dictated what's going on today . What was different in that one day, then, is different right now. And the fact is, my life is very much the same. From moment to moment I sit in the same place. Now the world around me may change the things I see and hear and touch and feel and smell may change. But the truth is, I'm very much in the same place I've always been. It's is if I'm sitting here watching a movie and the screen keeps changing, but I'm still sitting in that same seat I waas when I was born. Nothing that's happened on that movie screen has fundamentally altered that spiritually being who, sitting in that chair, I see myself and understand myself. Now, as best, I can explain it as a spiritually being, an eternal, immortal being who is here experiencing a human existence the way I might drive a car tow. Look at my body as a car that I am the spiritual being that's gotten in the driver seat and I drive that body around, and when the body is done, I will get out of that body and go on with the rest of eternal life, just the same as you might get out of a car you just drove. And so getting into that spiritually part of life has helped me be freed from the past. The past is so important when you just are stuck here in this body, when there's nothing more than just this life in this death, when there's nothing more than birth in death, the past seems so important and so does the future and now almost seems like a means to an end to translate the future into the past. I've gotten out of that by moving to a spiritual way of life, and I mean spiritually, as in experiencing who I really am. Is the Watcher, the witness off my life and not the actor, The witness, the watcher of what goes on in this life? That I am Mawr, the person watching the play that I am the actor in the play because the actor in a play has a role, has certain things they're supposed to do, has a script but me. I am a quiet, silent watcher. I have no script. Now this body says things this body sees things, but I m the soul in the body. That's who I am. And yet I'm inseparable from the body. And so that is what life is right now and fundamentally. That's how life always has been and always will be. So whatever things I saw in the past do not dictate whatever things I will see and do necessarily in the future. And so this is great freedom, great relief that the past happened just as it's supposed to. The past was fully finished, informed and done just how it was supposed to be done. Just as when you watch a movie on the screen, the movie was made, and whatever happened in the movie before, the moment you're watching it, that's exactly how it was supposed to come out. That's how it was produced. And so going back and analyzing and tearing the movie down in the moment you're watching it that would prevent you from seeing what was going on. Wouldn't it usually way wait till after the entire movies done to try and tear it down? And that's because there's not enough attention to watch the movie in the moment and to try and tear down or explain exactly how it happened. In fact, you could try it next time you're watching a movie, see if you can fully explain what's happened in the movie and predict what might happen and pay attention to what is happening all at the same time. I bet you'll find quickly. You start losing track of things, and I bet then your reaction will be to go silent to simply watch the movie and see what happens. And so I look at my life as the same thing. I am the silent Watcher. I as a sole, have nothing to say. I'm simply here watching and when I have a definition, when I'm able to step out of the separateness that I have been taught exists around this body, and to feel my divine soul to feel my connectedness with all of reality and to not limit my existence just on the conditioning off my past. Because if I drop my past, if I have no past, then who am I? Who am I with none of the things I've been given in the past without my name, without the knowledge that this body is separate from the world around it without the burden. From the things I've done without the esteem off the things I've done. Who am I hitting that? Who am I questioned? Hard is what's helped me to drop the burden of the past because the more I ask, who am I? The more I find I cannot define who I am. I gave you a rough pointer. The things I said about a spiritual existence are rough Pointer. It kind of shows you the direction the same way. Religion can show you the direction the same way Science can show you the direction. Ultimately, all you can do is experience who you are, and again even telling you that I'm showing you the direction. All these words are just showing you the direction you have to experience now who you are. And when you experience now and try and look deep in yourself, Who am I? I remember talking to my mom about this. On the phone, I asked Who are you, Mom, While I'm a veterinary and I was a wife before your dad died. I'm a mother. I'm a sister. I'm a daughter. I said OK, who are you without those things? Well, she said. Those things are who I am, and so that highlights the exact challenge. The past springs. All of those things she describes are things that are conditioned from the past. If I forget about my language for a moment, then how can I possibly tell you who I am? In fact, I have to even use language now that I've been given from the past to even tell you this. If I had no words, how would I explain to you who I am? The thing is, if you keep asking and trying to really figure out who you are outside of your past conditioning and you keep taking off all of the things, okay, well, I feel like I'm a husband. That's part of who I am, but I know that's also part of what I've been given. That's part of my passel. It's let's drop that. It's like clothing. You keep taking off all of your past underneath. Then you'll see who you are is really empty. There is no concrete being that is you. There is nothing you can wrap your hands around and say, OK, that that that's me, that is me, that's it because, as I've felt, if I try and feel who I am, I can feel my body. And yet there's this weird sensation that who I am extends slightly outside of my body. Have you heard that term personal space or my bubble? That's the idea that who you are actually extends slightly outside of your body, and so that when someone's too close to you there in your personal space, there in your bubble, where does that idea come from? It comes from feeling inside the body. It comes from feeling your body and feeling the sensation. There's actually somewhat of an invisible zone outside of you, where you continue where you actually the life force that's inside of you, pumping from your heart and out actually continues outside of the body. And here's the thing. Where does that stop and how is it separate from anyone else's? The more you get deeper, and these are not meant to be philosophical questions. These are meant to be pointers to experiencing who you are, because these aren't ideas. You need to wrap your mind around and understand these air, as if there's a sign that says Rome, I'm showing you the sign. Look, you can go that way to go to Rome. You, in order to be free of your past, get to know who you are right now, outside of your conditioning. That's exactly what I've done, and it's given me the ability to accept. OK, everything in the past all is done. The past is dead effectively, and the only way the past can be resurrected is if I try and relive it. If I remember and try and be back there now, the past at the same time is useful. Its data and I can use the past. I have language skills that I've learned years in my life. That's why I'm able to talk to you right now. That's why I'm able to say this right now is because of the knowledge I have from the past . And yet I do not need that knowledge to be happy and free and to let my genius out in the moment. My genius, you could say it's not even mine. The great intelligence off the universe. I'm opening myself and allowing it to be delivered through this form. That is where you're free of the past when you open yourself up for service to the world right now. Then what you've done in the past is Onley useful in allowing you to be off service now and anything that's not used for your painful, shameful memories from childhood. The mistakes you made either five minutes ago, five hours ago, five days ago, five years ago. Those are not needed now. All of what's needed now is the knowledge necessary to be of service at this moment. So I'm grateful today that I have this opportunity to be free of my past. My past is not something that defines who I am or where I'm going. My past gives me the tools to be of service right now, and that is all my past does. So thank you for listening to this being here with me, and I'll share my idea for what you can do today to have this in your life today. 15. 57)Today see how your past burdens you: today. See how your past makes your present more challenging. And also you can see how your past helps make now a place where you could be thankful, be grateful to be, and in the present moment, see if you can really discover who you are, try and figure out who you are underneath all of that past conditioning. See how your past burdens you by looking at what you're doing right now and seeing how your past is impeding that, making it more difficult. For example, if you're trying to exercise, notice how your previous memories of exercise may make it more challenging, you might be saying, Oh, I don't like running before you've ever went for a run. If you drop the idea that running something you didn't like to do in the past and you go running as if for the first time today, then you can experience your present without the burden of the past, you could look at it in eating. Next time you're going to eat something, notice how your eating habits burden you and take choices away from you in the moment. Notice how you will eat a certain way without questioning you will eat at a certain speed without questioning it. You will feel you need to drink water or other beverages at certain intervals. Notice how all of these things from the past strip choices away from the present. For me, this has been very powerful in my eating. I had eating habits I made when I was a young child up through being a teenager, and I pretty much ate like that nearly all the time without questioning it. I'm Jerry. I'm a person that I shovel my food in as fast as possible. That is how Jerry eats. And that's what made it hard for me to stop drinking alcohol. Even though I knew it was bad for me, my past was informing me that you should not drink any alcohol at all. My past was trying to be helpful, and yet at the same time, my pastors telling me, Look how much fun you have doing. This isn't a great Remember how much fun that was before. Remember all those great times you had. Oh, and by the way, in this situation you have to drink. Oh, you're mad at your wife. You have to drink. That's what you have to do. You plan to yesterday that today would be a good day to drink. You have to drink today, regardless of what you actually want to do right now. And that helped me to get into my inner genius because the absurdity of that helped me to see the hole in the Matrix. I guess you could say looking at it is if it was a hot burner. Because alcohol is much worse than a hot burner for me. My past was saying that in these situations I had to stick my hand on the hot burner, regardless of everything else. How absurd is that? And yet, how many times are you likely to experience that same thing? Probably in a smaller degree in your life today, For example, The next time today you mess something up. Notice if there's any habit from the past that tells you you should punish yourself. Oh, you see, you're going to be late. Look what a bad person you are. Remember all the times you've been late before, notice how your past will haunt you like a ghost and try and encourage you to punish yourself in the moment. Oh, you remember when you were really mean to that girl before? Look, you're being me new, another girl now you deserve for her to be to mean back to you. Why don't you say something else? Nasty, like you've said before, so that she'll say something else. Nasty back to you. Here's the miracle. As soon as you see your past intruding on your decisions right now, then you have a chance to make a different choice. If you don't see that, you can't make a choice for me. My past likes to bring up pain. For example, I stepped on my wife's he'll going into Cracker Barrel for breakfast this morning. She's wearing sandals and I was wearing tennis shoes. So when I stepped on her heel and she said, How I got an explosion of pain inside me. Emotional pain. Look how you've hurt your wife. Remember all the hundreds of times you've hurt and stepped on your wife's feet before. Now I'm saying this in a way that sounds longer, but this is kind of how all that pain came up immediately. Remember, all the times you've been mean to your wife and hurt your wife and Look, you've caused your wife this pain. All of that springs up immediately. As soon as I stepped on her heel. Immense explosion of this past pain. Look what you did, you little jerk. You know, if you like home alone, all of that pain and shame and it's I step our hell. I'm very sensitive now, So I'm lucky. I notice these things. But all I had to do is see. Ah, here's my past pain coming up like a rain cloud in the present moment. I do not have to do anything about that pain. I know that's just a ghost of my past. And if I don't give it attention more than noticing, it's there. If I don't resist it, it will go away. So what happened? I felt in pain for a moment or two. It hurt. It hurt intensely for a moment or two. All of that past pain and shame brought up, but I looked at it. Ah, this is the pain you feel from your past. Okay? And once I noticed it Ah, Instead of just feeling the emotion and not noticing it, I noticed. Oh, you stepped on your wife's. He'll now you've got all this pain up immediately. All that pains related to the past and it doesn't mean anything in the moment. And I let it go, and I was quickly back to normal. Now, how would that have worked in the past? I did all kinds of little things like that all the time that built up. And I would try and avoid the pain and run from the pain and let me push on. Let me do the next thing. All right, so I stepped on my always see. Okay. Okay. Let's Let's get the breakfast. Let's sit down. All right, We need We need to get our food right now. We need to get our food, okay? And then I can forget about whatever happened before, Okay? We've got our food all now I said something rude. All right, let me try and eat my food. And so what? You can see as I was running from the past all the time. And so today, all I have to do is notice. When the pain of the past pops up, we'll have to do is notice. Okay. That's pain from the past. It's not relevant to what's going on. It's not in proportion to what's going on. Stepping on my wife's. He owned Cracker Bells. I'm sure you're thinking real small, not a big deal. Well, I have a lifetime of pain and suffering that's just waiting for a doorway to rush into the moment because my pain and suffering for the past cannot live in the past. It must live now. So any time something little minor pain happens. All of my pain and suffering from the past attempts to Russian and so all I have to do is notice. When that door's open and you know what it will do, it will go and hide again. Oh, look, here comes all my pain and suffering in the past. Hey, how's it going? And it it shrinks and dies because what it wants to do is possessed me. The pain and suffering of my past wants to take over who I am. And so when you hear if people say things like who I got to see the rial side, I got to see who he or she really waas. I don't want to show anyone who I really am because they couldn't handle it. It's that door opening and all that pain possessing me. And so that's all from the past. And yet it can only live now. And so today I try and notice when that happens. And then I also noticed the opposite. My experience from the past of practicing this has allowed me today to see it faster because it's more about how fast I can notice it. Now I consistently catch things, and to me it's like reaction time. The more I practice it this the faster I can catch this today. When I stepped on my wife's hell, I noticed almost immediately what was happening. Ope, here comes your pain from the past, okay? And my knowledge from the past helped me, and my knowledge of the past also helps me to be grateful. So today you can also look for gratitude from your past. I know when I was 15 years old, I would have given anything to be out with the beautiful woman who was my wife to have a family on the way to be going to breakfast with her. And even though now I've been married to the same beautiful woman, she's been pregnant for a while, even though that's something now that my mind says is normal. I remember that 15 year old version of me who would have given anything for that. And I bring that same joy into this moment. I bring the joy off that 15 year old saying, Yeah, hey, the 15 year old that just was dying to go out on a date with a girl. Even I bring that into the present. Who? Look, I'm here now. It's 15 years later. I'm here now. I'm doing it. Yes, and that eliminates the past pain of saying, Oh, you're going out there Wife again. The cracker barrel. That's great. How many times have you done that? 30. 40. You're really a one trick pony with this, huh? I'm bored. I'm tired of going to crack about all light cracker barrel. And so I used my positive. I used the past to bring gratitude into the moment to shut out all that pain from the past , to shut out things like boardroom to shut out things like getting used to my life on a daily basis and to shut out things like selfish desires. And so getting to know myself has enabled all of this to be possible. The more I ask and look into who I am, the more I'm able to see rather than be the actor to see what's going on inside of this body in this mind, to see it with some space in it. And so that allows me to participate fully in this moment, use the past to help me live a better life now and to acknowledge, to see when that past pain is trying to come in and possess me and then to allow it to simply be there and disappear. So I hope this has made some sense. Today. I feel really good sharing it with you. So I think odds are at least you have gotten, I hope, some positive emotion out of this. Some desire to get to know yourself a little better today because that's what this whole course is really about. It's getting to know yourself, and the more you get to know yourself, the more you'll find you are at the core your inner genius. Take away all of that past conditioning, take away all of the bad burden and suffering, bring all that past experience and knowledge you've gained, and you'll find your creative geniuses right here right now, ready to go 16. 58)Meditation opens the space where inner genius lives: meditation has been extremely helpful for me in letting my inner genius be more of a part and the foundation off who I am and consciously getting in touch with it. And the great thing is, meditation is a lot easier than I'd imagined it to be. For most of my life, meditation in the simplest form is simply controlling my breathing and focusing my thoughts often on things that help me remove the illusion of self that helped me overcome the nature of my mind. And often that involves thinking about the things the mind does not like to think about facing my fears going into thought experiments, if you will, that help me to get beyond self. That helped me to get beyond wherever I'm at in this moment that helped me use the past and the future to my advantage this moment instead of a burden. Or instead of using this moment as a means to an end. So meditation. I thought for most of my life you had to sit down and assume like a body sat foot posture or something and sit there for an hour or more and try and just have a clear mind and not think about anything. Well, I'm grateful. I read the miracle of mindfulness by tick, not hon, and he laid out a lot of useful and simple meditation techniques, and you could meditate in any position. And it doesn't involve totally closing the world out necessarily, either. You could meditate in the shower. You can meditate while you're standing, waiting in line. You can meditate, sitting in a chair, waiting on the subway. You can meditate, doing pretty much anything. You can even meditate while driving. Now you don't want to go too deep or too crazy or close your eyes or anything while you're driving. But the idea is meditation is mawr off a simple technique than I realized and the thought The term meditation scared me away from trying it most of my life, and I didn't see that it was really that useful. Steve Jobs cited his retreats with meditation was a big part of that as a huge place where his breakthroughs and original ideas came through, and I find the same experience that meditation helps me sweep away the garbage inside my mind. Meditation helps mean to be focused, to remember what's really important in this moment and to have space in my life. The ultimate idea of meditation to me seems to be to expand the space in my life. So, for example, a life with no space, less use driving as an example, someone pulls out in front of you. Someone cuts you off, someone flips you off. Someone's driving really slow in front of you in traffic. Any situation you can picture is really annoying. Having no space is a place where that's all you can see. That's all that exists in your reality. And you often will respond with cussing other driver out, flipping them off, driving more aggressively to try and get back at them, following them more closely, speeding around them and cutting them off. And I'm saying, these is all things I've done before. I've done all of that driving. I've been a driver who had no space in my life. You did something to me immediately. My entire other reality of my life finishes and it suddenly mean you you are the enemy. You are the jerk, and I'm going to teach you a lesson that all of the experiences, all of my knowledge, my intellect, all the people who love me. All of that disappeared into this little driving game where you, the other driver, the enemy and me, I am the righteous person who's here to show you a lesson. And that's what driving for me often was like. And so meditation helps to bring space into my life as a habit, bring space into my life when it's needed, and so space is needed in those aggravating, painful situations. But it's also needed in those good situations where my sales air up really high. And I think I'm such a big shot, and I think I'm really important. And I'm posting all these things in these Facebook groups about money and making everyone's loving me. And all of a sudden everything else goes out of my life, and all I am is the super being who is looked on to by others. I'm someone. I'm someone. Finally, after being No. One for most of my life and probably no one the rest of my life, I'm someone now. Meditation helps bring space into being someone also, because ultimately being someone is a very dangerous thing for me to do. If I'm someone I risk tearing that someone down at some point, probably very soon, So I don't want to be someone. Someone being a person and ego with no space in my life is very painful, and I don't want any more pain or suffering. So meditation helps me to expand my space. So now, especially through meditation and through all the other things I've shared with you in this course when another drivers coming at me or doing something that I might have found offensive before and that my mind still has the patterns, my mind still has the recognition set up to determine what was offensive. Where exactly I got those is another interesting question. And so my mind still reminds me. Well, look, this guy's driving like a jerker. He cut you off for blah, blah, blah. Now, with meditation and all the things I've shown in this course, My inner genius is out there first and foremost, and my inner genius is spacious. My energy nous works and lives in space. It is suffocated by not having any space and by space, I mean that life is full of all kinds of amazing, beautiful things, and space is keeping those things in mind at all times. So things like my wife keeping her in mind when I'm driving. Do I want to take care of my wife's husband? That is space to have that thought in mind, along with whatever else the other driver did. Because if it's just me, another driver, if there are no other thoughts, if there is no other awareness besides me and the other driver, then things like crazy driving makes sense. But if I'm trying to drive, good to take care of my wife's husband, which is May then is driving crazy and flipping another person off. Is that taking good care of my wife's husband? No, it's not. And how about my mother's sign? My mother want her son out there driving crazy, trying to run people off the road? No, she doesn't. How about my soon to be daughter's father? Does she want her dad out there driving crazy, risking his life, trying to teach another driver a lesson, risking not being around to raise her for her whole life? Is that what she wants? That's what having spaces that when some situation happens, all of those other things are still there. They don't disappear because for most of my life those things disappeared when some situation happened. Not all situations, certain situations, everything else driving frequently would cause this to happen. Everything else would disappear. And so meditation helps bring in space. It helps get in the habit off, bringing in space. And so meditation is a very powerful thing to use that I do use when I feel my space shrinking when I feel that suffocating feeling of my inner genius retreating when I feel the people I love slipping away in my mind, meditation is a good way that I usedto open that back up to expand my thoughts again because the mind wants to be completely in control it once every situation to be really important. The mind wants all of my attention. The mind wants to be taken seriously. The mind wants whatever is going on right now. To be most important, there's nothing wrong with what the mind wants except that lots of times what the mind wants can be dangerous. It can be stressful. It can lead to a lot of suffering. And so in those times, meditation helps open that space and so what I will do is share with you some of the specific meditations I use that have really helped me. And all these meditations tend to be. They tend to all be similar. You start by controlling your breath. I breathed in. That's one breath I'm breathing out. That's another breath. That's how you take control of your breath in one breath out another breath. That is the start of any good meditation. You can see how simple that is. There's nothing intimidating about that. You, no matter where you're out of what you're doing, have time to take one controlled breath in breathing in through the navel so that your belly expands at the naval. A. Soon as you start breathing and then breathing out through the nose, you'll find a lot of your breathing. Problems will be solved by paying attention to your breathing. Lots of times, things like allergies. All these things you think are external. If you intentionally try and breathe through your nose, you'll find your nose will clear itself up. If you take control of your breath with this meditation, it's just this simple. Breathing in through the nose out into the naval so that the naval expands, the belly expands, and then at the top of the breath, the chest expands. But about the 1st 2/3 of the breath, the belly it near the naval will expand. And so you take control of your breath by filling your lungs completely, not just the top of the lungs, as we often do, or you'll see people taking these deep chest swelling breasts. That's not a deep breath. You all you've done swelled up in both the chest out. And in fact, that does not feel good lots of times when you breathe out so that you kind of push your navel out. I look at it. I'm inflating my lungs out like a balloon. It's kind of one then, and then you breathe out through the nose that air circulation in and out of the nose will often unclog whatever is going on up there that's negative. And so using this has practical benefits, like unclogging the nose, and it has tons of mental benefits. So I'll share more about exactly how I do my meditation in a very simple, easy way. You can do it anywhere any time you need. No experience. You don't need to be a Buddhist monk or anything. It's really easy. So thank you for watching this. And I appreciate you being here with me. 17. 59)How I meditate today with very little effort and use meditation to keep space: How exactly do I meditate and how can you easily repeat it? The first key thing with me and meditation is the deep full breath. All of the techniques I read about in technology Hans Book begin with taking control of the breath because the breath is here right now. The breath is riel and when you breathe in and get a good dose of oxygen, your whole body feels good and benefits from that. It's something that you don't need any time to do. You can simply do it right this moment. And it's something you are doing already. Anyway, when you take control of the breath, you center yourself in the here and now, which is the place you want to be. And when you take a breath, you find you open up a certain space in the mind of silence. So taking a breath is a first place to exert control over the mind and over the body to show that you, the witness, you, the person, the being the divine soul, watching and living a human existence right now taking control of the breath shows that you have the true power over this body, not any line of thinking, not even anything the body's doing that you can choose to have this body breathe whenever you want to, and whenever you feel like it, and you can choose to have the mind be silent whenever you feel like it. And so that is where the meditation begins. So I often at least take one deep breath nearly every few minutes. Throughout the day, I find whenever anything stressful whenever anything I don't like, comes up my first reaction, and taking a deep breath always makes it better. It instantly opens up a little bit of space, and so I know I'm losing space when I feel pain. And so my next step, when I feel pain, is to take a deep breath. So that's how all of these meditations begin with taking a deep breath. So deep breath in through the nose, out into the naval. That's a deep breath. Now, out through the nose, the naval collapses again. One deep breath. Now, many of the meditations that take not, Han explains, start off with 10 of those in a row, and I'm not going to do each 10 right here because you have plenty of time to do that on your own, and I'll get straight into the line of thinking with ease. And I've already taken several deep breaths with you. I do the 10 deep breast any time. I want a more focused meditation. Often this happens when I'm in bed at night because the mind likes to get spinning at night . And so the 10 deep breasts in a row really get that silence rolling that space, and it's usually a lot easier to fall asleep. I guess this is kind of what people mean when they say counting sheep. So 10 deep breaths. I figure if I'm a little stressed out, there's no reason I can't take 10 deep breaths and focus on it. One I'm breathing in. I'm grateful for this breath. I'm breathing out. I'm grateful for this breath, and you can use things like that, anything you want to say, breathing in and breathing out as a meditation. And so those are easy, simple meditations to do and those air once I do whenever I just have a minute and I need some real quick space and I have a little bit of pain and I want to open up some space. Now What I'm going to share with you now are some of the more deeper thought intentionally focused mind patterns I've done that have been incredibly effective in opening up great space as a habit in my life. So when you're in the habit of having no space in your life, some of these meditations will help you open up great space. What I will share with you are the thought patterns. And some of these are what was recommended by a tick, not time to meditate on for Buddhist monks to train themselves on. And so what these do is help break down the mines, thought pattern and the perception off this understanding of the world and to break down some of the desires in the moment pitched by the mind. So I'll show you, for example, I have a helpful meditation I used for lust. Lust is the wanting the craving for some kind of sexual interaction with another human being. And lust is a very powerful desire that's programmed internally, and it may feel all consuming and lust is one of those things that can take away space in your life. And so This meditation helps me whenever I feel the pain of lust. Because lust is painful, especially as a man who's married and has a wonderful loving wife toe have lust is painful . And so whenever I have lust, this meditation helps me, and it's called the something like this that take not Han put it. It's something about the revulsion of the body, and all you do is simply think about what the body contains the same way you might look at the nutrition fax on food. You think what the body contains and so you can see how this is good for lust when you do it and you can think about it with your own body. My body contains What? What does my body contain? It starts with the question and the taking control of your breath. What does my body contain? My body contains teeth, saliva, sweat hair, bile, urine, faeces, blood bones, bone marrow, nails, cells, bacteria and all kinds of other things. Hair, brain matter, etcetera. It goes on and on and on. So the more you think about that and you think about that in detail, like there's urine sitting in my bladder right Now there's feces going through me right now . There's intestines squeezing food through. There's bile, their stomach acid in my stomach. Right now, my heart's in the middle of my chest, publishing blood all through my body. There's red blood cells flowing through right now with oxygen. There are white blood cells looking for anything that doesn't fit in the body. There are little cancer cells sprouting up and then being devoured by the white blood cells or simply dying, not being able to continue living. There are neurons firing off in my brain. There are hairs growing everywhere. There are teeth in my head. There's a tongue in this mouth. There's bacteria in my throat. There they handle processing food. There's bacteria. All throw my intestines to handle processing food because they can live there. There's nails in my fingers and toes, and so thinking about these things eliminates that fantasy of lust, because lust is usually a very surface kind of ordeal. When you start thinking about any other person in terms of what their body contains, it gets to be very difficult to lust after them. And when you think about what your own body contains, you will often see whatever desire your body has in a moment fade a little bit into space. When I think about I'm hungry, this could be useful to okay, My stomach wants food. Well, what is my brain want? What is my heart want? Well, my heart probably doesn't want a huge binge half pizza for me to throw down along with 1000 calories of garlic sticks. That's probably not what my heart wants right now. My colon probably doesn't want to go through a process that is probably going to make a lot of gas and then left fart. So you can see these meditations are powerful because they break through the matrix off the normal ways of thinking and you'll find your mind does not want to go into detail. You'll find if you're lusting after a person, you tell your mind. Oh, you want them so bad. What exactly do you want about them? Do you want all of them? And then you can go into more detail. What exactly does that person contain? And very soon, your mind You keep thinking about your mind will resist, and then it will give up. Okay, you know what I don't want that. Another thing that works really well is the meditation on birth and death, and especially on death. This worked really well for me. I had an awesome spiritual experience using this meditation in the shower, thinking about death, because the mind likes to be afraid of death. But at the same time, it does not want to think about it. How many people have you seen something death related come up and they shy away from it own ? No, I don't want to think about that. The irony is, it's great to think about it, destroys all of the mines, fears it smashes apart all of the mines fears and projections and goals and hopes it smashes it apart into empty space. And then that's where your genius can come out. So this one works fantastic for me, and I use it often. Think about the certainty of death in Picture it. Clearly for me, I have selected cremation in my will, my body burning. That's not something that's theoretical or might happen. That's a certainty. Although it may not necessarily burn, it might, depending on how where I die, it might rot out in a field somewhere, but burning is more than likely what will happen with it. So I think about my body burning because that's a certainty in it. It has no pain with it. It's not painful because the body is dead. It's simply burning up into nothing. And so this helped me have a awesome spiritual experience and I made a video and I threw it up on YouTube right after it happened. Man, it was good. I was in the shower in my mind, was complaining and whining about the usual things, and I thought, How much does this really matter? And I Something about death was bothering me, and I went right into it. I am absolutely going to die. There's no question about that. Let's think about that. Someday I will be dead. I will have nothing I ever have to do again in this body for all of eternity. Nothing I've made will matter soon enough. Maybe not immediately, but everything I've made soon enough will fade. Also, rather, it's a family brother. It's these courses. All of that will disappear. Also, I will go to absolutely and completely nothing, and that's where I started this existence out to. I came in with absolutely, completely nothing. And I thought about that very carefully. What would it be like? I would have nothing, absolutely no attachments, nothing to do, no worries, no problems, no fear dead. And then from there, the more focused clearly on that I will have that outcome. In fact, Dad and Grandpa are already in that state. And so what happened? Initially, my mind resisted. Initially, my mind complained. No, this is horrible. Don't think about you dying. No, no, no, no. We don't want to do that. We're afraid of that. And I kept thinking about it anyway. Kept thinking about it and I kept thinking Amount of this is not up for debate. It's not up for discussion. It's affect complete total death. Pure nothing left body burned and rotted and gone into nothing. That's certain. And the farther I went into that, eventually my mind surrendered it. Put its hands up, said OK, okay, that's it. I have nothing else to say and it stopped. My mind stopped and when my mind stopped, it kind of blew up almost and this was in the shower. I was crying at first sad out of self pity all after die after die and man Once I pushed through that self pity gratitude came in just like sunlight in my heart as if I had a whole son in my heart just burst out of me Gratitude that in fact I am alive right this moment. That is a fact also and that I am not dead this moment. I am, in fact, completely alive. In this moment. I need nothing else except to be alive in this moment. And even at some moment I won't need that. I have a great gift of life Now I have everything I need, which is the gift of life. Now I need nothing else. I don't need more money. I don't need a new house. I don't need absolutely anything else in the world. I have everything I need simply in the gift of life right now, and that's my best way of explaining it with words. But it was more of a rebirth, almost as if after dying, I came back into my body from a point of being dead and said, All right, let's do this again. Now we have life. Now. I went to a place of death as clearly as I could picture it with absolutely nothing and then came back to life. Oh, I have life now and that is wonderful. And I remember just standing in the shower looking around as if I never showered before. Well, look at this water running and again I have to use words to describe it. But it was just wonder like running water, warm water, cold water, wash cloth. Wow, I sat down. I don't know how long I was in the shower, but I was just in complete joy and happiness for the moment, not cried tears of joy. Thank you. Thank you for this gift of life now and so imagine that point. That point is where you can get to with meditation. Ah, complete lack of needing anything else except the gift of life you have in this moment. That's where your inner genius comes out right there. Your inner genius is out right there. That's what it feels like out in the world. Happy simply to be here looking at everything around with the sense of wonder and love and happiness. Yes, we're here. And the beautiful thing is, there's no lo that comes after that. If you go after that feeling with drugs, alcohol, you will get this horrible low afterwards. When you have a spiritual experience like that, there's no lo. Afterwards, you're simply excess ing what is already here. You're simply clearing away what already exists. In this moment. Drugs and alcohol are a quest to do the same thing. Alcohol and drugs, at least using excess our quest to do the same thing. But having that kind of spiritual experiences kind of dull, you can't quite have it quite the same on alcohol drugs, because there's a big down afterwards and you're not fully there when you have it. Without any alcohol and drugs, you're fully present. You're not barely awake because you drank so much or whatever drugs do to you. I haven't done a lot of those. I'm grateful. And so when you do this meditation, you can get those amazing moments of life that just show you the clarity, the miracle of life here in this moment that you don't need to go anywhere or do anything. You're already in exactly the right place and everything's fine. Just how it is that from a place of birth and death toe where you are now, all you have is the gift of life. And that's all you need. You don't need anything else. So thank you for sharing this with me. I'm honored that you've let me explain this to you and I'll share some opportunities you might have today to try out these meditations. 18. 60)Today take a few extra deep breaths and think of meditation when in pain: today. Try out some of the basics of meditation in your life. Try at least taking a few of those full deep breaths. Take at least one deep breath. Next time something stressful happens and take it with gratitude that thank you. I can breathe and it's OK. No matter who you are or what you're doing. Where you're at, you've got time for a few deep breaths every day. I find it's helpful to have a little of space throughout the day by just taking a deep breath or two. That works much better than trying to sit there and take an hour to meditate, because the time adds up a lot. If you take 10 seconds to take a deep breath every single hour or every 30 minutes, that starts to add up to a decent amount of time. You've taken breaks and breaking up the day with deep breast helps a lot. What you can do that will really help his condition. This one you know you're in pain when something is just started to frustrate you, and I notice pain by how the body reacts. The body gets anxious, the body gets annoyed. The body gets irritable and jittery, the body feel stressed, and that's usually an instant reaction to pain. So, for example, when I'm playing battlefield, sometimes when I get killed, I'll get stressed about it. So what have I started doing? I take a deep breath right after I'd get killed in battle field, right on the menu loading screen. So as soon as I get killed, I and instead of going from frustrate in goddamn it, I just died. That's Bs like I've done most of my life. It brings me into gratitude. Thank you for giving me time to play this video game today. I'm lucky to have time to play this video game right now, and you can see the gigantic change that is. And it all happens in just a deep breath, from frustration to thank you. It's very easy whenever I'm in pain. Now, my default response and this has taken a habit. It's taken months of doing this. My default response is now a deep breath because whatever pain I'm having is usually some judgment of the past or some fear of the future. And so I can take refuge in a deep breath because a deep breath is neither in the past nor in the future. It's now. It has no worries, no problems, no concerns. It's just a bodily function that's very filling. And what does this do from a scientific standpoint? It fills my lungs with extra air. The extra air has oxygen in it. My lungs can then grab more oxygen out of the air. Having more oxygen in my blood gives me a little momentary boost of feeling good. It keeps me feeling energetic. It gives me a peaceful feeling, and it helps, especially if you have trouble going to sleep tonight. Do a full meditation going to sleep. Take 10 deep breasts in a row and count them one. I'm grateful to be lying in bed, peaceful, breathing out. Two. I'm grateful toe have this life right now, and whatever things you can say, honestly, you're grateful for. Sit there and take those deep breaths because here's the thing. If you're sitting there stressed out, you can't go to sleep. Why? Why are you stressed out? You can't go to sleep. It's not because of now. It's because of some projected fear. Tomorrow I'm scared that if I don't get enough sleep. I'll wake up. I'll be a pain tomorrow. Common, dammit. I gotta get up. I have to get up for this tomorrow. I need to be asleep now. Meditation is extremely helpful in that scenario. So if you are having any trouble getting to sleep tonight, it's a perfect time to try it. Take those 10 deep breasts and then think about something on purpose. It could be what your body contains. It could be the nature of death and dying. It's a great time to do that. It could be simply all the things you're grateful for that you're thankful for. Think about all of the things that are working in your body. Think about the illusion of separateness. And that's in combination with the body. That where exactly do you end? And where exactly does the rest of the universe begin? Am I separate from the sun? While the sun gives me the energy to live without the sun I would die. The sun is essential for all life on Earth. The sun is inseparable from all light on Earth. I'm really not that separate from the sun. My fellow human beings, any kind of meditation, anything you can think about that will help you have space in your life. You can think about things like moments in the past. You would have given anything to be right where you're at now or on your death bed in the future where you'd give anything to be right back where you're at now. I found my mama's help with this a lot. My dad passed away last year's. I'm sure you've heard by this point. If you're taking my genius course and full here, then my mom says I would give anything to have another day with your dad, even a bad one. And so a good meditation for me is that today isn't anything your mom's talking about. You have that anything your mom would give with your wife right now, your wife's here with you alive in the bed. And so I think of that when I'm going to sleep, the anything my mom would give. I have that right now. I need nothing else. I don't need to get a fixed amount of sleep. I will deal with whatever sleep I get. I don't need any more money. I will deal with the money I have. I don't need any other place to live. I'll deal with the place I have to live. I don't need all of my problems to be solved right at this moment. I will solve them tomorrow or the day after that. And so that meditation is really powerful for going to sleep. I am grateful. I really have any trouble sleeping since I've started meditating. It's ridiculous sometimes that I get lots of times now. 60 70 80 hours asleep in old, weak. All right, maybe eighties a little bit. I get 70 hours of sleep some weeks because I have every day. All sleep 10 hours, and my body feels better and healthier than it's ever been. And it's because I got up like yesterday, eight o'clock with my wife. We went to bed at, like 11 and fell asleep. I get up some days at nine o'clock in the morning and go to bed with my wife at 10 30 and I can do that because I used these meditation techniques. So today you have the chance to find places in your life that could benefit from space. Usually these air places where you already have frustration things like going to sleep are absolutely ideal, but they can also happen in times like when you're showering places you normally fast forward through and just try and uses a means to a nano cam in the shower or somewhere. You let your mind run or driving and mean Excellent place. Think about the other drivers. This guy next to me, he might be a dad. Ah, brother, he's definitely someone, son. He might be someone's co worker boss employee. He might be someone's friend. He might be someone who is very useful in a lot of people's lives, so I probably can forgive him for whatever driving he doesn't do. That matches up to what I think it should. Driving great place for meditation. I was kind of forced into meditation by some of my struggles in problems, to think mawr about life instead of just being stuck in a problem because I cannot conquer my problems. If all I can see is my problem, I must have space and meditations really helpful for opening space up in my life. So thank you very much for sharing this with me today. I'm honored. You've spent this time with me. I hope I've made meditation seem like something that's really easy and approachable that you can get started with. And I hope I've shown how powerful meditation is in my life today. Thank you. 19. 61)The surprising power of allowing and accepting uncertainty: you might be surprised to find that your inner genius actually thrives on uncertainty. It thrives with opportunity that is granted by uncertainty. What do I mean by uncertainty? I mean, not knowing exactly what comes next. I mean, not having a strict schedule set up for every moment of your life. I mean, not knowing exactly how something's going to work out. I mean having to take things on faith that everything will be OK when there's no evidence necessarily in front of you showing that being comfortable with uncertainty will solve a gigantic amount of problems in your life and allow you to get into expressing your inner genius. Inner genius rarely comes out of strict planning and try to handle every single contingency and trying to plan for every possible problem and worst case scenarios. Your inner genius comes out of playful, childlike activities, or you're just doing and then simply it comes through the way I'm teaching. This course is exactly built on that. I did not know what I was going to talk about today up until right before I started talking . I thought before I was going to do this, that I might talk about reflection today, and yet I felt more inspired to talk about uncertainty in a most playful sense. I felt I just wanted to share uncertainty with you because I would do a better job that that was more of the right thing to talk about today. Rather than talking about reflection. I didn't feel the passion and the energy behind the subject of reflection, but I felt it behind uncertainty. And that is exactly the power off uncertainty. When you go plan every single thing out in your life, then you take out the ability to be spontaneous. Or you wrap the ability to be spontaneous up in shame and guilt for not doing what you planned for letting your inner genius get out into the world for being a person who does the work you want to do. That's meaningful and creative, and that contributes to the world. Often you won't have any certainty as to exactly what that works going to look like. You won't know exactly what you're going to do, and you have to take it on faith. In other words, you have to trust that the work you do is set up just how it's supposed to be, in other words, making this lecture with you. I'm not sure exactly how I'm even going to get through talking with you today. I'm not sure what I'm going to say, but I trust that what I say well come from the heart. I trust that it will be honest and I trust the words I'm sharing with you are the words I'm supposed to share with you. So that allows me to work with no script and allows me toe work just straight, honestly from the heart. It allows my inner genius out because I'm not containing it. I'm not choking it into submission with plans and with exact scripts of what I've supposed to say. Now some I've heard that people think I read and you might get that because often what I say comes out very articulate, and I'm staring right at you in the web cam so that theoretically, I could put something directly above the webcam to read. Now that would take a fantastic amount of effort for me to pull that off. That sounds like a lot of work. And what that would do is remove the uncertainty from what I'm going to say next, you'll notice when so many people speak, especially on TV. There's very little uncertainty about what they're going to say next because they have the words there in front of them. And yet you'll notice what they say seems lifeless. It seems dead very often because that uncertainties gone. They're not speaking from the heart. Usually they're speaking from a script, a script that doesn't want to risk anything going wrong in that risk is at the core of the planning of the script. When you have uncertainty and just honesty and faith at the core of what you're saying, you won't need a script. However, you will sometimes say things that are awkward. You'll say words you won't pronounce some right, which can happen when you're reading. Also were you also will say things. Sometimes it might be embarrassing. That might not be exactly what you wanted to say. You'll say things that it makes the easy for the mind to go back in question. Well, maybe I shouldn't have done that lecture just like that. Maybe I shouldn't have said this just like that. And to be fair, sometimes uncertainty won't come out very good, and that is where the desire to control everything comes in. Well, look, I One day when I was doing my lectures, I made a lecture that universally was hated and that earned my course a bunch of negative discussions and and negative review at least one very negative, very intentionally trying to just tear the whole course down review because of basically one lecture I made. So what I could do that is look at that from a reactionary standpoint. Say okay, I want to remove all the uncertainty in making the lectures. In my course in the future, I want to stick with things, and I know people like I want to stick with things that I know what I'm going to say, and I want to stick with things that minimize the risk of that happening. You can see all of the extra effort that requires. And how often do I do a lecture that's really a bomb, one that really people hate Well, Usually I only do it when I'm not in a good state inside, when I'm in a good ego sense inside, when I'm all wrapped up in self inside, then usually I have the potential to do a lecture like that. So all of that effort that I would put outside to him energy uncertainty, really Onley needs to be put inside to manage my state of peace and serenity, Zen to manage my interstate off love and faith and selflessness. That's really all I need to do for the effort, and so I don't need to put any outward effort. And in fact, that outward effort often will be much more harmful to my creativity than the thing itself . I used to make things that were a lot more scripted in terms of I'd have power point slides that have words on them, and I would try and do them in a way that really flowed together. Well, the problem is, that takes a lot longer, and it tends to take out a lot of the spontaneity and what people think is funny. What people think is awesome. What you are liable to have gotten here on is my spontaneity, and that is the genius you can see mirrored from yourself in me. You can feel when I'm talking to as if they're certain chords. I'm striking inside you because really. I'm just a voice in your head. You're just listening to me. And so really, these words you hear a reflection of your own interstate that you've put yourself here to start with, and then what I'm saying is delivered to you as what you need to hear right now. And then that brings out the best in you. That brings out excitement, feelings, energy, passion in you that simply stirs up what is already there. Uncertainty is at the core of your inner genius because the only certainty your inner genius needs is this moment it doesn't need certainty about the past or the future. It actually works great with uncertainty about the past in the future, because that's honest. The truth is, you don't know exactly even what happened yesterday, and the more you try and explain to me exactly what happened yesterday, you realize how many details you already forgot about yesterday. And yet our minds crave this certainty about the future all the time, this certainty that everything's going to be OK. Well, if you look far enough in the future, you ultimately have to make some kind of a decision about whether you think the end of this body's life is okay or not. And so, anything shorter than that is tomorrow going to be OK? Am I going to have enough money to get by tomorrow? That doesn't matter. All that matters is today. You'll figure out tomorrow. Tomorrow. Now you can plan and do things that are helpful. Of course, you can use your gifts today. I'm doing this lecture today. Obviously, this is part of some planning that the thing is, I've let it thrive in uncertainty, and I've embraced the fact that I know very little about anything, and so that allows me to do great work. And it's not as much that I'm doing it. Is that simply I'm letting it happen through me? I've asked to be of service. I've asked to be useful to people, and I've allowed myself to get out of the way and allow this body to be useful and of service to you. And there's a lot of uncertainty in that. So I'll explain to you more about the day to day uncertainty in my life that I now have embraced, and the big difference has to what I used to do in my life, and then I'll explain today where you have the opportunity to look for these things in your life. 20. 62)How I went from hating uncertainty to accepting and loving it each day: I used to hate uncertainty. I liked to know exactly how and why the past happened in order to get me to the moment. And then I wanted to know exactly what was going to happen in the future. I remember at 22 years old as my life was in a very uncertain position, I was working as a corrections officer in a juvenile prison, which was challenging to say the least. I remember sitting there making this plan out while I worked there of how I could become president, and it had, like, five years of state government work there, and then various steps I would take to become the president. And that's how I like to live my life in complete ignorance of the actual moment with this certainty as to what happened before and why it happened that way. And then a certainty is to what I would do next and what that would lead to. And you know what kind of life I had like that a miserable one full of lying, because when anything didn't fit with my idea of the future or my idea of the past, there was a problem. There was a big problem when someone brought up evidence such as another story or pictures or any kind of evidence that my story of the past, which I tried to be honest and creating and trying to create from a point of view I thought was reasonable whenever they brought evidence that my story of the past had problems such as my theory of the dinosaurs going extinct, there might have been new evidence that it might not have been a meteor right, or there were other theories. Then I had a problem. Then I was mad. I was frustrated. No, dammit, The dinosaurs definitely went extinct on a meteorite. I don't know that I had that one specifically, I do know very often for things in my family history. I wanted an exact explanation. Remember when we took this trip and we did this and we did that? That's exactly what happened and then someone else to bring up Well, I remember this that way. No, it wasn't that way. You're wrong, you're wrong. And then the same problem with the future, I'd be planning out when I'm going to do that next week and saying I'm going to do this then And someone else you know would say no. I want to do that. Then, Well, I already planned to do it this way, and that's how it's gonna be. No, I don't like your idea. I remember when I moved home with my parents five years ago. To go to school was my new plan. Whenever I had an absence off certainty in my future, it was amazing how fast I filled it up the day I resigned. Being a police officer was one of the days of biggest uncertainty in my life because before that, I had all these concrete plans as to what I was going to do when I was going toe work. And then once I quit, all those plans were out the window. And one of the biggest things that hurt about quitting that job was giving up on that certainty in the future. And yet, by the next day, I already had a new plan, a new certainty. I'm going to go to graduate school. I'm going to become a professor or researcher. And so, in that brief amount of time where I actually contemplated the uncertainty, I was able to make a much better future for myself than I had before is a police officer who is not willing to contemplate the uncertainty and just figured I'd go on in my law enforcement career. Maybe I'd go to school someday. Another words, my certainty all the time choked me from being ableto actually think my certainty was a noose around my neck. My certainty about what had happened in the past made it so. There was nothing I could do about the present, that Morva fate approach. I had just done what I had to do to get here, and then my future was certain. Also, it made life boring you. I know what I did yesterday. I'm to do the same thing tomorrow. It's boring. That's what my life felt like. Uncertainty adds fun into life. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go to the gym as soon as I finish making these lectures. My personal training appointment is at 10 30. Previously in my life, I would have told you I'm going to leave it exactly this time and you know what that would have been? Why My certainty on things caused me to lie all the time because I tell you, I was going to do something, but then lots of times, I get wrapped up in the moment, and then I wouldn't actually do what I said I was going to do because I set up these rigid set off expectations. So in the past, I might have told you I'm going to leave to go to the gym at 10 or 10 05 or 10. 10. And then if I didn't leave at exactly that moment, then I would often feel horrible, shameful, like I hadn't kept my word. And what would I be doing? I'd be saying they're messing around trying to finish something that I said I was going to finish that day, and so then I'd be running late. I'd be driving really fast trying to get there because I said my appointment was at 10 30 I'd be there at 10 30. So what I do, I wouldn't do what I said. I do. But then I'd Russian hurry and try and make up for it and get into the next thing I said I was going to do. I'm time often. I wouldn't succeeded that I'd still come a little late. So then I'd be all aggravated during the appointment. Then I would plan out a way. I could feel better later in the day because I didn't like then how I felt my certainty caused a lot of pain in my life. The lying was one of the worst pains of that, because when you say you're going to do something, you don't do it. What is that called? That's lying. I remember I was playing with my friend and we were playing a new zombie map on call of duty black ops. This was when I was in graduate school and when I still drank and I had told the Professor I would help her move the next day at 10:30 a.m. And so it was four in the morning and I'm drinking and my friend says, Oh, look, I'm getting off of work now, which I didn't think he'd get off work that early. He comes back and I end up playing until 8 30 in the morning, and I'm wasted. And thankfully, one of the things I had committed to not doing was drinking and driving then and so then I knew, obviously I'm not going to be able to help that professor move. I'm drunk and I need to goto bed. I'm really tired. I'm gonna be useless to help move. And I remember laughing about it, telling him how I guess I'm not helping her move tomorrow sucks for her. And you know what? That made me feel bad about myself. I made me feel bad about myself. Just tell someone I'm going to do something and then just get lost in the moment, not do it now. There's nothing wrong with sometimes not having things work out. If you embrace uncertainty, then things like that that do happen beyond your control won't cause you to feel shame and misery and suffering. For example, if something had happened that actually merited me missing, moving instead of me just staying up, playing the video game tone, absurd our and not honoring what I said by that, for example, if there been some family emergency or something, I wouldn't have felt bad that then I wouldn't been able to help her move. Because when you un brace uncertainty, then you're okay with Sometimes when you said you do something and you are unable to actually follow through with that. And here's the weird thing. It happens a lot less often when you embrace uncertainty. Then you accept that. Well, it might take me longer than 15 minutes to drive to the gym. Maybe I'll leave a little bit earlier instead of saying it's going to take me exactly 15 minutes to go the gym so I don't need leaving earlier than 10 15. When you embrace uncertainty, you will actually honor your commitments much more often. When you do miss them, you won't feel horrible about yourself, because when you feel horrible about yourself, you're not yourself. Your energy nooses strangled, choked stuff down in your heart somewhere, waiting to be freed and so embracing uncertainty today makes my life very predictable. I don't over plan things usually today, because I know how much uncertainty there is. For example, I don't know what I'm going to do most of the day today. I believe I will leave around 10 after I finished these lectures to go to the gym to do personal training. I'm pretty sure that's what I'm going to do, but I don't know, I don't know. There could be something an emergency that comes up, I might not feel like going. I suddenly might get sick before I go. It's not likely. But the truth is, I don't even know if I'm actually going to do that. I'm pretty sure, but I don't know. And so there's a big honesty you can see in saying, I don't know and there's a big relief that comes with not knowing exactly how things were going to go. Life gets to be fine. A lot of the reason I like to drink before is because my life was so damn boring with certainty all the time that drinking brought in a desirable amount of uncertainty. When I wasn't drinking, my life was so boring and predictable because I tried to force all of this certainty on everything and everyone. And then I would simply and unconsciously usually lie and sweep things under the rug that didn't fit with my definition of how certain life waas Oh well, that didn't come out, How you said it would know that that's not how I said it would go. No, I I said it would go about that way, and I considered myself an honest person before. And yet certainty and honesty do not mix well, and you need honesty to get your inner genius out into the world. Inner genius does not work well with lying. Inner genius is born out of honesty. Honesty comes out of admitting humbly. You're not better or worse than anyone else and doing your best to share whatever the truth of this moment is the truth. That this moment is usually that I do not know what's going to happen in the future, and I'm not sure exactly what happened in the past. I do not know what will happen even a few minutes from now. I'm pretty sure I should be able to shoot this lecture right afterwards, but I don't know that for sure. I could have something come up. There could be some huge, a lot of noise that disrupts it, and you can see the burden that's lifted of expectations once you allow uncertainty to exist. Because here's a fact life in the past in the future is uncertain. It is uncertain because you can't go back to the past, improve it, regardless of rather you have video or sound. It's still captures only a fraction of the depth off that moment. It's more of an artistic portrayal of a moment. Video is very elusive for even tried to show something. It's very easy to be deceived, as you have seen when you watched a magic trick. It's very easy to be deceived about the past, and the future is just the same. There is a lot of uncertainty about what could happen in the future until you go far enough in the future. But even then, I'm not exactly sure what my own death will look like. I'm not sure what my own birth looked like. So what do I really know about anything except this moment? Allowing that in is just a miracle. It allows me to do the next right thing. Allowing uncertainty allows me each moment to do the next right thing. It's interesting I listen my mom one night. She still works on that certainty in the past and certainty of the future. And she said, You rarely can no, in the moment exactly what you're doing. And I said, Mom, the only moment I need to know what I'm doing is now. I don't need to know what I'm doing yesterday or tomorrow. All I need to do is know what I'm doing now. I love my mom, and I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful mother. And it's just fine. You can use any point of view of the world you want to use. Allowing uncertainty about the past in the future will help a lot with letting your inner genius out. It'll help with having a truthful, happy life. When I tell you honestly, I don't know exactly what I did you after. That could give you a brief synopsis. But I can't go run you through every single moment of what I did yesterday. If you ask me like exactly when did you go the bathroom yesterday? Well, I remember lots of the times, but I bet I couldn't tell you every single one of them, if you ask me. When did you breathe? Yesterday. I don't know a lot. If you ask me things like what time did you get up? I could give you an estimate, but I could not tell you the exact time I got out of bed. That's yesterday. That's not 10 years ago or 20 years ago. That's yesterday you could say. Well, it doesn't matter about those details, does it? If I can't tell you exactly when I got out of bed yesterday, why would I try and explain to you what happened 10 years ago? You can just see the futility of trying to force certainty on everything in life. And you will find almost all of your problems will be solved by allowing uncertainty. I have a client right now. My best client, his company. I worked with him for three years now, and that's been one of the things that has helped a lot is that both of us are able to accept uncertainty. For example, there's a situation we have had now some extra money got build on my card and with an account that was set up, and I'm not sure exactly how we're going to work that out. I know I've told his company what I know about the situation, and they're looking at it, and that's enough. I mean, it's several $1000 and so I could get all upset about it and most of the past, I would I need I need this money. You You owe me this. I this. I could have got all bent out of shape about it. Right now. It's been going on a week or so. I don't know. But the thing is, I have peace and serenity because I'm not sure how this is going toe workout, and I'm okay with that. It doesn't need to be solved right this moment. It'll get fixed when the time's right or it won't get fixed. I have peace, trust, faith. Everything will work out how it's supposed to. And most of the relationships I've seen at least destroyed in business were from impatience . This has to be done. Alice has to be the Now. You got to beat this deadline. Got to do that. You gotta finish this. I didn't like this. You need to fix this problem. I never I never I know you can see that poisonous energy there, and I've had a lot of relationships. I've been on the destroying side of and on the receiving side of in a few short years. I've done business online. Impatience is nearly always the destroyer, and impatience comes out of wanting certainty within uncertainty. I had lots of clients. They want their ads right now. I want them working right now. I paid you to do this. I want this money coming in. It doesn't work like that. If it worked like that, do you think I would be working to help? You know I'd be making all my own money, and I sure as hell wouldn't be trying to get clients. If it was that easy, you wouldn't need my help. And yet that impatience, that desire to change certainty from uncertainty, to get that certainty in everything. How many times do we take that for granted? That that's normal. I want this contract signed. I want to know exactly how much is going to cost. I want to know exactly what it's going to happen. I want to know what materials are going to be used. Embracing on certainty is dropped the weight of the world from my shoulders and it's allowed me to be honest. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do. Even the next moment from now, I am sure I will try to do the next right thing this moment. And I pray that I will continue trying to do the right thing the next moment. So I'm grateful you're here. I'm honored. You spent this time listening and watching this and I'll share next some things you can do today to look at uncertainty in your life. 21. 63)Today accept the uncertainty in your life about the past and future: today, look for areas off uncertainty in your life and find the opportunity to embrace it. In other words, things like financial insecurity, relationship insecurity, things like health. Look for the uncertainty you have in those that you've been associating with misery, for example, of finances thinking. I don't know exactly how I'm going to get these bills paid next month because, believe me, I don't know exactly how I'm going to get my pills Beed next month, either. I think things are going to go well, and I have faith that things will work out that's been crucial to me being here with you right now. I would not be here with you right now if I hadn't embraced a lot of financial insecurity getting started on you to me. So today look for the areas where you're making yourself miserable because off uncertainty , things that happened in the past that you might be really upset about because you're not sure exactly off what they meant, things that might happen later in the future that you're really upset about because you're not sure of exactly how they're going to work out. Look for the opportunity to say OK, honestly, I don't know, and that's okay. It's okay to not know what's going to happen in the future because you can't know what's going to happen in the future. The only thing you can know is now even talking about the past and the future is something that happens now. And the past was now in. The future will be now. So there's really no need to try and explain a previous now or future. Now all you have to do is live this now. So today I will be looking for places where I'm fighting uncertainty because I can't win against uncertainty unless I'm trying to deceive myself and make false accusations of how great I am that Oh yes, I saw that coming. And there is Here it is. Now look how right I waas. That is not true. One wild prediction I make, I could literally just predict all across the board I think this one that one that one, that weapon and that weapon. And then when it actually happens, I can point to one prediction to say, Look, I was right about that and ignore all those other things I was wrong about. That's the beauty of embracing uncertainty. You don't need to put all that effort into predicting what's going to happen. You can simply handle what is happening now, and today you have the chance to look for that uncertainty, especially where you're fighting it. It might be in a relationship. You might be uncertain as to rather your partner did something in the past that you like or not. Or you might be uncertain as to how long you're going to stay together in the future. If you've got right now, that's all you need, and rather that right now includes that person or not. If you just do the next right thing in your life, it will all be okay. I know relationships drove me to not even wanting to live anymore because of the absurd uncertainty and not is much even the uncertainty. Here's what drove me crazy. When I went and said and predicted hundreds of times I would marry. This girl will have a family together, and when I set up all these certainties for the future based on who I was dating and then they cheated on me and left because I would have done the same in their position in When that happens, it's not the girl that is the center of the pain. It was me. It was all of the expectations, all of the predictions, all of the work I done based on future expectations that then was lost. So if you don't expect all these things in the future with someone you're dating, then you don't have to get all upset about what's going on right now. My wife and I used to have arguments because we would both be horrified when we were first dating. Oh my God, I can't be with someone who thinks like that forever. And we got miserable in the moment because we were afraid of what might happen in the future, afraid of having the face. That same argument for the rest of our lives and the beauty of it is a long as you're willing to do the right thing. Now nothing is certain, and you usually uncertainty will work out better than it will work out. Worse. If you could be aware of areas you're trying to force certainty in, you will see that usually you're creating a ton of misery in an effort to force certainty. And I know I've done that a lot in my life as best I can remember, because I'm not sure exactly how much I've done it. But I remember now trying to force certainty all the time in my life and being miserable over it was like trying to put ah fart back in a bag, trying to grab a latte gas and stuff it back in a bag, and then it just wouldn't go in the damn bag. And so the hopelessness of trying to force uncertainty is about is nasty. Is that example I just gave you? And you could tell this isn't scripted because I never would have put that into a lecture. And I'm not going to edit it out, either, because that's honest. And some of you might even think it's funny some of the best comments I've got on my YouTube videos or when I randomly slipped stupid things like that in there just unconsciously often, and people find that funny because it's honest. Most of what you see created strips out that spontaneity of it. The nasty fart bag example gets stripped out of it, and so you can see I'm embracing uncertainty. You can see I'm doing today what I'm sharing with you is worth doing, or you might be able to benefit from doing in your life today. What makes uncertainty easier is to have a little bit of certainty about what you're doing in the moment. Am I honestly trying to be the best person I can be This moment? Am I honestly trying to love myself in love? Other people, this moment and I'm pretty sure I am doing that. And so then I don't have to be certain about the past or the future. I can be certain that now I'm trying to be loving an honest faithful, and I'm trying to do my best here with you. So when you have allowed uncertainty on the past in the future to exist, you can find a certainty the only place you need it today. And that's now the certainty that life is okay, that everything is fine. That Zen that's piece that serenity. That's often the feeling people are chasing when they're trying to get high and drunk and do these things like crazy stunts and adrenaline pumping, that feeling that everything's OK and you can have certainty now that everything's okay and that everything will be OK and clearly was okay enough for you to get here to this moment. So thank you very much for being here with me today. I'm certain that I'm grateful you've spent so much time here with me. Thank you very much. And I hope you have a great day today.