First Time Manager's Crash Course: Part 2 - Influence | Rebecca Elvy | Skillshare

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First Time Manager's Crash Course: Part 2 - Influence

teacher avatar Rebecca Elvy, Leader, Writer, Wife, Mum, Human

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

12 Lessons (51m)
    • 1. RECAP: Part One: "Course Intro"

      2:29
    • 2. RECAP: Part One: "Why You? Why Me?"

      2:42
    • 3. RECAP: Part One: "Management Model"

      3:58
    • 4. RECAP: Part One: "Course Project"

      4:48
    • 5. Lesson 1: Introduction to Influence

      3:05
    • 6. Lesson 2: Other People

      6:45
    • 7. Lesson 3: Building Trust

      6:40
    • 8. Lesson 4: Communication Skills

      7:22
    • 9. Lesson 5: Human Needs at Work

      5:50
    • 10. Lesson 6: Building Engagement

      2:54
    • 11. Lesson 7: GRPI

      3:49
    • 12. Lesson 8: Concluding Thoughts

      0:49
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About This Class

When I started my first management job, I had no idea what I was doing. I had to figure most of it out the hard way... with trial and error, and LOTS of mistakes.

I don't want that for you - I don't think it's necessary, and it doesn't do you or your staff any favours.

Most employers have partial training to help you get up to speed with the things that are specific to that company, but everything else is left up to you! It's like a secret code that nobody wants to share because they had to figure it out for themselves,and they're probably not sure they've got it right either!

Why is this different from every other time you’ve started a new job? Because this time, the newbie mistakes don’t only affect you: they affect the people you are managing as well!

And what have I figured out during my management career?

There are actually a small handful of things that hardly anyone ever talks about that make allthe difference between success and train-wreck.

I'll teach you what these are, I'll provide you with some handy tools to keep you on track, and I'll give you a list of further resources and reading to help take your skills to the next level as well.

I’ll also show you how to use bullet journaling to keep track of your progress, manage your time effectively, and reflect on your learning as you go.

This is Part Two of a Three part course. This Course covers Influence.

Part One looked at Self-Awareness and Part Three looks at Delivering Results.

Let's get started!

Additional Resources

The following additional resources are referred to during the course:

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Rebecca Elvy

Leader, Writer, Wife, Mum, Human

Teacher

Hello, I'm Rebecca.

I want to help you learn everything I know about leadership, about influence, and about changing the world.

I help high-achieving millennials like you break down barriers and learn new skills so that they become confident, articulate, advocates for a new generation of leaders who will leave the world a better place than how they found it.

I grew up believing my brain was my greatest asset.

I wasn't pretty, rich or particularly athletic. If I was going to make it in the world, it would be me and my brain.

And it's a pretty good brain. I aced the Mensa entrance exam with a score in the 99th percentile (you only need 98 to get in).

But at age 26 I was diagnosed with probable Multiple Sclerosis. A debilitating condition that atta... See full profile

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Transcripts

1. RECAP: Part One: "Course Intro": Hi, My name's Rebecca LV and welcome to the first time managers crash course I remember so clearly. My first day as a new manager, I walked into the office. I knew a couple of people, but most were strangers, and I swear they were all steering it may and thinking. Who does she think she is? What does she think she's doing? She won't last long. I didn't know it at the time, but this is something that almost every first time manager feels it has a formal psychological name. It's called imposter syndrome. It's an irrational fear and irrational fear. You're about to be discovered. Is no actually being qualified to do the thing to do the job? Whatever it might be that at any minute someone is going to say, Hey, you, how did you get in here? That's the good news. The bad news is just knowing it has a name, and that it's really common doesn't make it go away. This course is designed to help most people arrive at the first managerial role because they were good at the previous job, often a technical or service role in the same organization. But those very same skills that helps you stand out and get promoted to management aren't usually the skills that will make you a successful manager. The sort course six defects fixed there. We're going to cover a range of foundational skills and knowledge that will help you get off to the beast. Possible start and your leadership career. We'll do this by creating a simple framework and using a bullet journal as the basic tool for development. Why Bullet journaling? I've been a manager for about 18 years now and after a great deal of trial and era index cards, diaries, Elektronik tools like Evernote and trail Oh, I've found bullet drooling to be the most effective method for keeping track of my practice for reflecting for planning, for documenting, for prioritizing and for trekking achievement, it offers maximum flexibility with minimal complexity. The greatest gift I can give you the most valuable thing I know about management is this approach, and you'll have the opportunity to sit of that right from the beginning of your management . Juni. I just know it will serve you well. I'm super excited about supporting you to launch your management. Korea. Let's get started 2. RECAP: Part One: "Why You? Why Me?": So at this point, you've probably got a couple of questions. Who is this course four. And why is she qualified to teach? Well, this course is for anyone who aspires to manage other people with their in a formal management or team leadership role, or is a project manager without ongoing human resource management responsibility. More importantly, it's for those who have just Bean or are about to be appointed to one of those roles and are a little bit anxious about what's involved, because the reality is there's quite a lot of a lot involved, most of which nobody ever tells you. Sure, there are some really top notch employers who have got great guides, manuals and training programs for these things. But in the main, most managers have forgotten all the things they luhnd when they first started or worse, they remember that they had to figure it out on their own, and they think you should have to do the same like a kind of hazing that nobody ever talks about. I don't think that's good enough. I think you should have access to the tools you need to be successful and maybe more importantly, I think the individual contributors you're about to become responsible for deserve you to have access to those tools. After all, it's their working lives that you're going to impact if you don't. So what qualifies me to teach you? First and foremost, I've bean exactly where you are. I got my first management job and nobody told me anything that about what was involved. I had to figure it out myself. Luckily for May, leadership was already in area I was interested in and had worked and from a theoretical perspective. But that's no help humpbacks, the myriad of practical things you need to understand and figure out. So I started my first film formal management role in 2012 and within three years I was appointed to my first chief executive position. I figure I must have done a few things right along the way. I have a master's degree in strategic studies and degrees in business administration and psychology. I've worked in human resources, employment relations and of over scenes in pretty big I T projects. If you want to see my CV, you're welcome to check out my LinkedIn profile is a link to it under my teacher profile Today, I'm responsible for an organization of approximately 80 people, and I've coached and mean toward managers at all levels of experience and seniority. I also write about personal development and leadership. It will be care l v dot com There's not much I haven't seen, and I know that working together you're going to be successful in your new role. 3. RECAP: Part One: "Management Model": in this. Listen, I'm going to introduce to you a very simple model for effective leadership. Now I hear you say effective leadership. This is a course about becoming a manager. Weed is leadership fit into the picture. Great. That's a question you should be asking. You remember those vin diagrams you learned at school the overlapping circles to describe seats of things? Well, leadership and management are like that. Management and leadership at two different things, and they can overlap. They should overlap. In fact, I see it as part of my life's mission to get those two circles toe overlap a heck of a lot more than they do at the moment. But anyway, what you need to know is that no all managers are leaders. And no, all leaders are managers, but that managers should aspire to be leaders. Leaders don't need to aspire to managers, but some do, and that's cool. So what's the difference between the two? Well, management is largely concerned with systems and processes and compliance planning reporting counting. In effect, management is a set of organization or systems and procedures that have been set up to create some order out of what would otherwise be chaos. A manager's job, among other things, is to ensure that the A part of the system behaves in the way that it's supposed to and in some way. And she was that the reset of the system knows that this part of the system is behaving correctly. This makes organizational systems systems quite change averse. The systems and procedures don't lean themselves well to change. This frustrates leaders. Leaders are interested in change. They see what is possible. They can see innovation and ideas in opportunities, and they try to get other people to see them, too. And in so doing, they hope to create change. It doesn't matter whether it's big or small. It could be a subtle improvement to a process that improves productivity. Or it could be an entirely new product or service. It could be a new approach to customer service, or it could be branching out and into an entirely new market segment. Managers who aunt laters generally prefer to play it safe. Leaders who aren't managers get very frustrated by all the rules and regulations. If they're in unemployment context, many are off out the world being entrepreneurs or activists managers who are also leaders get to play the best of both worlds. They can work within the system to change the system. They can help people find ways to be comfortable with change by explaining how it will work and what impact it will have on them managers who our leaders are much more valuable to an organization than those who are not. So the purpose of this course is not to teach you your organization's rules and regulations . I don't know what they are, and chances are your organization has that covered. If they don't, you're entitled to ask them to help you. The purpose of this course is to teach you how to bridge the gap between management and leadership without falling foul of during the basics off your management role. I use a pretty simple model to do this, and this course is divided up According to that model, self awareness plus influence plus delivering results equals effective leadership. Self awareness is about knowing who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are and understanding how you impact on other people. Influence is about becoming intentional about your impact on others so that you can help them be motivated to do what the organization needs them to do, and delivering results is the actual impact of what you do. If you do these three things consistently well, you'll become ineffective later. Awesome, Let's get started. 4. RECAP: Part One: "Course Project": virtually everything you do is a manager. Require some form of documentation planning prioritizing notes from meetings, providing feedback, receiving feedback, training sessions, recording decisions you've made, capturing actions you need to perform self reflection. Personal development. Coaching. After trying a vast array of different options for doing this analog and digital, I've developed an approach to bullet journaling that I know will work for you. It's flexible, simple and, most importantly, creates a valuable reference tool for those times. You need to check back to see what happened before we start, though here are a couple of quick things that you need to think about as a manager, you will be privy to information about your organization and your colleagues. You need to be much you need to ensure that you are always mindful of this. Don't put your name inside the front cover or even the name of your organization. I usually just put my mobile phone number so that if I misplaced my journal, there is some chance it will find its way back to me. Use initials instead of people's names. Be thoughtful about how much detail you capture about sensitive topics. You just need enough to trigger your memory of what happened. For example, you could put see file note dated Eaks for more information. Keep your journal with you or locked away when you don't need it, just like your email account. You don't want to leave it lying around. Great, Let's get started. Firstly, we're gonna look at some of the basic journal team plates. The 1st 1 is the index or contents page. This is the most useful thing. It allows you to find stuff later. Pretty simple, but important to keep it up to date. Future log. This is a really basic six months on a page spread that starts with the month after the current month. So if you're starting this in January in the 1st 6 months, the first month of the six month spread will be February. Use this to capture things you know you need need to be delivered or need to happen or a planned in the future months. The next layer is the monthly log on the left hand side of the page. You number the days of the month and had the first letter of the day of the week and populated with the Vince milestones and deadlines that have fixed dates On the right hand side, you could make a list of the things that need to be done this month. It's probably just the big rocks. It isn't going to work as a whole month's task list, so just focus on the really big things you know need to be delivered in that month. The next one is your weekly plan on one page I creator layout with five approximately equal sized rows. If I think my days, I include this year. So, for example, Tuesdays for me is always the day I focus on my own leadership. I then populate the days of the week with what specific deliverables I need to do that day . Be mindful of days with meetings you can't be, is ambitious about how much you'll get down on those days. Daily log. This is the most versatile format of all. Each day I hit up a new page with the date day of the week. The theme If I'm using one and then as the day progresses, I use various annotations to catcher what's happened. A dot is a task to be done, including actions from meetings. A circle is an event or meeting a dish is a note. Just something you want to record or remember. You can use an exclamation point for something that's really important and you want to come back later. A question mark for something you should look up or research into. And it s tricks for something that's really, really important. Now, another point about bullet journaling is one of the things you need to do is at the end of each month, week and day. You need to migrate your incomplete tasks either to schedule them or to migrate them to a future month, week all day. You can also use in s tricks to add priority to the task. An exclamation mark to have note something you found inspiring or an eye for where further research is needed. That's about all you need. For now. Please photograph and she your journal, sit up in the projects space and encourage others. It's always nice to get feedback. So just as a quick reminder, this course is divided into three parts. Self awareness, influence and delivering results. Three. These three things combined lead to effective leadership instructions for the project will be woven through these lessons. And if you only take one part of the program, the project, your complete will stand alone. 5. Lesson 1: Introduction to Influence: welcome to those of you who have joined us from part one. Self awareness and also to those of you have skipped straight to here. I do encourage you to go back and take a look at part one if you haven't already done so. It includes some very important building blocks that will make your leadership journey through this course much easier. Great. Let's get started in this. Listen, we're going to introduce the topic off influence. How does it fit in our effective leadership model? What is it and why does it measure in Part one? We talked about our own impact. The way we are in the world has an impact on other people, the idea being that if you aren't aware of how you are and what that impact is, it's very hard, maybe even impossible, to be a truly effective leader. But it isn't enough just to be self a were. You also have to be able to influence other people. You need to be able to connect with them, build trust, communicate effectively, build engagement and understand a little about what makes other people tick. While there are some roles where you can do it all yourself. Usually, management isn't one of them. You need to be able to inspire people. You need to be able to help them become their best Selves. And sometimes hopefully not too often, you need to be able to correct their behavior or approach without destroying the relationship You have nobody, or at least hardly anyone, comes to work to do a bad job. They don't wake up in the morning going. How can I possibly be the worst possible employees? Your job, even if they aren't particularly good at aspect of the A job, is to help them actualize their desire to be effective at work and to do it in a way that they feel like they've done it themselves. Now the challenge any time you take one person you and try to influence another your team members, is that the number of variables increases. How do you know whether it went badly because you did something poorly or you were just having a bad day or the other person waas In many respects it doesn't matter. Your job is to be the very beast to do the very best job you can use all the knowledge and self insight. You have gathered to be the best version of yourself and then draw on your understanding of how other people other than you work more generally and to keep striving to get the very beast outcome for your organization. The reason why we separate self awareness from influence in this course is because you are already inside your own head. You can't even do that for somebody else. So you need to employ some slightly more generalized skills, understanding how people work generally, remembering always that you personally may be an exception rather than the rule. Your team members almost certainly don't think and behave in exactly the same way you do great. Let's get started. See you in our next listen other people empathy, compassion and curiosity. 6. Lesson 2: Other People: other people empathy, compassion and curiosity. Workplaces are really just groups of people that do things, hopefully in a coordinated and organized way. But always in this listen, we're going to introduce some of the basics of learning to understand other people bearing in mind that truly understanding other people is almost impossible. One of the words that gets bandied around a lot and management, literature and leadership books is empathy. Empathy is generally defined as the ability to feel what someone else is feeling toe. Imagine how they feel to walk a mile in their shoes in a workplace eating this looks like spending some time before you meet with or talk to somebody to think about how what you are going to say or do will seem and feel like for them. But genuine empathy as it's actually defined is pretty tricky. In some respects, it isn't possible to truly imagine how someone else feels unless that situation has actually happened to you. I've worked with a few people. I describe his impacts, people who are highly highly tuned in to the way that other people are feeling. It seems to be something they can't turn off and It's truly exhausting because they're constantly experiencing their own feelings and those of other people. And in the situation where you have experienced the same situation, there is a very real risk that the situation very quickly becomes about you instead of theme. That's not how it's supposed to bay. I'll give you an example. One of your team comes to you and lets you know that her grandfather has passed away. He's clearly up seat. You remember that that skill? She of course you took all those years ago when you learned about being present and forming a connection with your team, and your granddad died, too. So you immediately assume that he's experiencing what you experienced Now. You don't know whether they knew each other well or had hardly seen each other. You don't know whether they got along or he was the family outcast. You don't know whether the upset is caused by the grandfather's passing or concerned for another family member who is more costly, connected for all you know, upset could be stemming from the realization that is an inherited condition in the family. That may now be something your team member needs to worry about, See, even though you could assume that the experience you had was related. You really don't know Another bed thinking happened here to let's say that your own experience when your grandfather passed away is broadly similar to what your team member is experiencing right now. The risk is you get so focused on building connection violists She had experience that the discussion actually ends up being about you instead of your team member. Oh, I know how you feel. My grandfather passed away when I was about your age. It was really sad. So in the strictest interpretation, empathy, while useful, isn't necessarily what you should be striving for. Here. Let's talk about compassion as a useful alternative. Compassion is less about you and more about the other person. Sure, a little bit of empathy aids your own understanding, but you don't need to have a shared experience to be compassionate. You just need to try and imagine what the other person might need right now and our example above you'd have responded with. I'm so sorry. How can I help? What do you need, or even all? I'm so sorry. Were you close? Now there's a couple of key things here to be a were off. It's absolutely vital that you have the self awareness to recognise that at the point this conversation heeds in this direction, you stop what you're doing. You put down your cell phone, you stop checking your email. You move in some way to dip it, demonstrate that the the other person has your undivided attention. But you also need to leave space for them to not need anything. They might say, No, I'm OK. I just wanted you to know, turn around and walk away Now this is, at least from an emotional perspective, a feeling extreme example. But I use it because it's illustrative. The exact same thing applies to almost any work related discussion you need to have make it about theme, not about you. If you need to provide corrective feedback, don't talk about the time you did the thing that you're trying to career. If you want to provide positive feedback, don't talk about how great you are as well. So compassion is probably what you're aiming for rather than empathy per se. But there's still a piece of the jigsaw missing curiosity. Curiosity is one of my favorite leadership tools. We all know what it means, but we don't always remember to practice it. In this instance, we're talking about the need to be genuinely curious about other people We need to want to end. Be interested in understanding other people. If you found yourself in a management role and you have no interest in other people, you aren't fascinated by, Why did they do the things they do? You'll need either to build the skill very quickly. Or you may need to consider where the management is the right career path for you. Curiosity is at the core of leadership and in particular, curiosity about other people. How to motivate them, how to inspire them, why they do what they do, what experience has helped them become who they are, how they interpret the world around them, how they respond to seat backs and failures, how they respond to succeeds, what gets them out of being in the morning and why they come here every day to walk. Work for this organization being genuinely curious about others accepting that you don't know everything about them is the best possible first step to effective influence because you make space for the other person to be part of a dialogue. You don't treat your team like widgets needed to get the job done. But you understand and accept that they are multifaceted, complex and sometimes unpredictable. To hone your curiosity, I'd suggest that you make it a personal goal to learn one new thing about each of your team members every week. Not by looking at the personnel file, but by asking by starting a discussion by waving it into your regular one on one meeting. I remember it isn't enough just to ask. You need to be curious about the answer. You need to listen the upside of curiosity. The other person feels like you are interested in them and who doesn't want that. See you in the next listen, building trust. 7. Lesson 3: Building Trust: in this. Listen, we're going to focus on building trust. We're going to explore exactly what trust is and why it matters. We're going to explore the listens for a really good book on the subject. Stephen cov Juniors The Speed of Trust. We're gonna talk about a useful metaphor for thinking about trust and why trust is hard to build and easy to break. Have you have a head? A manager you didn't really trust? Maybe they were pretty good at the job, But you couldn't quite believe that they had your best interests at heart when it came to coaching you or delegating work to you. Maybe they talked about you with with you about your teammates in a way that made you think they trusted you. But you wondered whether they were talking about you in the same way when they meet with the others. Maybe they would say one thing to you and the rest of the team when they were with you, and then say completely different things to their own manager without ever explaining why. Sometimes these things are quite small in isolation, but if it happens a few times, it starts to add up. I'd like you to take out a blank page in your bullet journal and hit it up. Trust. Divide the page into down the middle and in the left column, you're going to make a list of events from your own career where somebody did something that made you lose trust in them. Then, in the right hand column, I'd like you to create a list of how that made you feel and what you did differently. As a result, the outcome off the act. So, for example, may be on the left. You have something like my manager told me that I was in line for a promotion, and then it may have happened. They never told me why. And on the right you might put I felt a bit cheated. I've been pretty excited, actually, and when it never happened, I felt betrayed. It means that I never really believed my boss when she talked about my career development. Do this now Poor's if you like, I'll wait. Done Great. How do you feel when you don't trust somebody at work? It's not nice, is it? It can undermine your confidence, make you feel isolated or unsure and it can destroy your sense of passion and commitment to the organization. Now I'd hazard a guess that nine times out of 10 okay, maybe eight times out of 10. The incident that caused you to lose trust was entirely accidental, that the person in question had no idea that that was the impact of their actions on you. So there's some good news. Their workplaces aren't generally evil hotbeds of malign Machiavellian manipulation. And if you've completed part one of the school's self awareness, the job of preventing yourself from creating similar situations inadvertently is a hell of a lot easier. Now I'm going to recommend a book here. I read this book quite early on in my own career, and it's Always Stuck with me is one of the beast ways of even found to articulate what trust is and how to build it and why it matters. The book is called The Speed of Trust, and it's by Stephen COV Jr. It's in the reading list in the course materials. Yes, he is the son of Stephen Cov of the Seven Habits. Fang Cov argues that trust is the lubricant that makes relationships work When there's sufficient trust. Everything runs like a well oiled machine. Transactions between people lead lease if it also knowing his explanation and justification . Relationships are least prone to misunderstandings because we assume the beast pick possible interpretation of the other person's actions. And we didn't really feel more confident and more effective when we're operating in a context where trust is high. Cover uses the example of mergers and acquisitions, which usually have a situation. Were the entity being acquired has been absorbed into a bigger or more successful entity? The acquired employees generally have no experience working for this new company, and consequently, trust has never been established. So the new employees interpret the managers behavior in the least generous way, Assuming that layoffs are inevitable, that they aren't valued or included that the staff from the new company Aris from the main company are receiving more favorable treatment than they are. They see every reference by management to the new entity as excluding them in some way. Curvy argues that this is part of the reason why acquisitions that look great on paper often don't play out nearly as smoothly as everyone assumes they will. The core of Kobe's argument is that we have a trust bank account with everyone else we interact with. We can make deposits by doing trustworthy things and withdrawals by doing things that reduce trust. Going into overdraft is very bad, so you need to have made more deposits than you have withdrawals. Sounds simple, right? The challenge is an understanding exactly what actions build trust and which ones undermine or erode it. Hopefully from the exercise you did in your journal, you've already got an idea or two about some of the things that can build, trust or undermine trust. I encourage you to share what you wrote with your classmates in the project section because you get some great ideas from others as well. Now he's a good start. If a teen do what you say, you will. And if you can't do it, explain why this can also be seeing is don't make promises you can't keep and under promise and over deliver. If you internalize these, you'll probably do OK. But the other thing to remember is that consistency measures so reflecting back on what we learned in percent. Part one self awareness. If you are Jekyll and Hyde in your way of showing up at work. You know, one day you're friendly and supportive and the next you're sullen and moody. Your team probably won't trust you either, because they aren't sure what to expect from one moment to the next. Remember, a lot of penalty interest gets charged. If you let your trust account slip into overdraft, it's hard to recover from a negative balance much easier to build up the account first and then draw on it sparingly when you need to, because sometimes you will. But if you've done the work beforehand, it won't seem like a breach of trust to the other person. The work will go much smoother and you'll be more effective as a team. See you in the next listen communication skills. 8. Lesson 4: Communication Skills: welcome to our communication skills. Leeson. In this lesson, we're gonna talk about the basics of communication. Why it's hard, why leaders should be the last to speak the power of listening and who is responsible for understanding. We aren't covering public speaking. That's a whole course by itself, and not necessarily part of all management roles. Now this might sound really obvious, but communication verbal communication with her and writing orally is perhaps the most direct and control of a way off. Leading people know what you want, need and think. Yet very few people spend much, if any time thinking about how this happens and whether it's effective. Ponder this when you think inside your head there is a rich tapestry of moods, emotions, feelings, memories and so forth, as well as the actual thing you're thinking. This is a mix of verbal and nonverbal things because your brain struggles to verbalize your feelings and emotions. Nonetheless, thes wood and non wood based things are bouncing around in your brain. Dressed up is a good idea. However, when you speak or write, only the words can come out. You might be a very expressive communicator. You may use your body and your facial expressions to convey some of your message. But still, a very hi fi thought comes out as a very low fire sentence or two. The power of our pondering Zhar lost some of the cogent see. But wait, there's more. Now another person will take your low fi sentences and interpret them back into their own mind, complete with an entirely different seat of moods and emotions and feelings and memories. The likelihood that they understand the full intentions of what you've seen. A slim at beast. Some words mean different things to different people but ed to the Mexican, entirely different set of life experiences, memories, hopes and dreams. Or just that the other person might be having a bad day, and you have a recipe for misunderstandings. This gets magnified if you're speaking to more than one person. So let's say you're talking at a team meeting about your vision. For the current project, there is probably as many interpretations of what you said as there are people in the room . To be honest, I sometimes marvel that anything it'll gets done in the world or that we haven't wiped each other out well before now. So until we have a way to communicate telepathically, our job as a manager is to conscience consciously improve communication skills in the hope that we can get out me such across more frequently than would otherwise be the case. I'll share a few tips on how to do that in a minute. But before I do is another half to communication that isn't about you and your ideas Listening. Simon Sinek has a really lovely way of putting this, he says. Leaders need to learn to speak last. I've included a link to his talk in the course notes. If you always begin the conversation with what you think, you'll be shutting down multiple other ideas and perspectives. Believe it or not, your team see you as an authority on things, even when you know, if you say what you think about a topic, they'll naturally defer to your thinking and won't say anything at all, or will simply ed to your ideas rather than proposing something entirely new. So you need to learn not just to listen, which means being entirely present and focused on understanding what the other person is saying, not just waiting for them to take a breath so you can respond, but to deliberately learn how to let other people speak first. So here, in my simple tips for improving the effectiveness of your communication, the five ours rehearse, refined, repeat, respond request feedback rehearse. Don't just show up and hope for the beast. If the message measures the stakes are high, you need to deliberately spend time clarifying to yourself what you want to get across. Write it down. First practice, saying at multiple times, If you have the benefit of some time, go away from it for a day or even an hour, then come back and see with a reading. It still has the same poignancy as it did when you wrote it down. If it doesn't, don't worry, that's actually good. It means the lens of your inner world has fallen away, and you can now see the words much more like your teammates will hear them if you can deliver it to somebody else and asked them to tell you what they got from it was that your intended message was something else entirely so refined. The message. Now, if it's gone a bit flat. EDS. a month. If it's gone a bit monochrome, add some color. Repeat. Now I know you probably don't want to be repeating yourself all the time, but if the message is important, you'll need to. Marketers like to say that people need to hear about US new product or service and seven times in seven different ways before they'll take the leap and purchase. The same applies here the first time they'll be misunderstanding. Some people will even completely miss the message. The second time a bit more will sink in. Keep going, and eventually people will understand that you mean it. You're serious and they need to engage with what you've seen. At this point, they're more likely to ask questions and actively seek to understand. Respond. Great people are engaging, but they're still what questions. It's not as crystal clear as you'd hoped. So answer questions willingly and openly. Don't get frustrated. It can be incredibly annoying that the same exact thing you've said 17 times just came back to you in the form of a question. Oh, so do you mean we should Yes, I've told you 17 times, be patient calmly and clearly answer the question then now receptive to the answer. Request feedback. At the end of the day, one of the best ways to figure out if your message has arrived and been understood is to ask other people to share back with you what they understand from what you've seen. Not just a yes or no. Does that make sense? But so can you tell me what you take away from this discussion when you were the person delivering the message? It's also your job to ensure the person or people receiving it understand the message. It isn't the job. So remember, the purpose of communication isn't to just deliver a message. It's to build understanding. With time and practice. You'll get better and understanding how your team members work and how best to deliver a message. They'll understand. But then somebody will leave and someone new will join and you're back to square one. So remember, you're five hours rehearse, refine, repeat, respond and request feedback and be patient. See you in the next listen. Human needs at work 9. Lesson 5: Human Needs at Work: Welcome to the next. Listen, understanding human needs at work. Believe it or not, people don't stop being people just because they're at work. They may behave a little differently than they do at home or out with your friends on the weekend, but the things that make them tick always prison in this. Listen, we're going to learn about a guy named Mesler and a hierarchy of human needs that he created, I suppose, wrote about and how to use them as a guiding principle for your leadership. We'll also rep up by talking about the Golden Rule. What is it, what it is and why It's a pretty handy thing to have around. Abraham Mesler wrote a paper in 1943 called a Theory of Human Motivation, although he made some amendments to it over time, The principle is pretty simple. Everyone has the same basic five needs, although they might meet those needs in different ways. The's needs for ma hierarchy, with the first needs to be met before attention, to install the second and the food and so forth. The 1st 4 of these needs are referred to as deficiency needs. You noticed them will feel them and their absence and the fifth need is a being or growth need. The first needs are physiological ear, water, shelter, sleep, clothing and reproduction. If one of your team members has an issue in one of these areas, you can expect them to be exceedingly distracted by the determined. If it's to resolve it the sick and needs our safety needs personal security, employment resources, health and property, you'll notice that some of these dates are starting to encroach more into the employment relationship. If somebody feels the job security is threatened, you can expect them to react to defend it. If someone feels the physical safety or personal property is being threatened, you can expect them to react. The third. Nate's I Love and belonging. Friendship, intimacy, family and a sense of connection. This is why problems at home can distract someone from being their highest performing self at work. It also helps us understand why Gallops 12 Q 12 survey of employee engagement includes I have a best friend at work is one of the questions that they used to measure engagement. The fourth needs relate relate to esteem, respect, self esteem, status, recognition, strength and freedom or autonomy. These are very much at play in the workplace and are at the core of many workplace problems , often the ones that presenters into personal conflict. Intention. If you took the first part of this course, you'll recall that one of the lessons focused on triggers and stresses the things that push your buttons and get you riled up. This is where these fit into Maslow's hierarchy, and in the same way you have hot buttons. So do all your staff. The fifth need, which we've already identified as a little bit different from the others, is self actualization, the desire to become the most that one can be to maximize your potential and create and create an impact, even a legacy. Why does this measure? Well, it's pretty clear that you, as a manager and leader, don't control control All of the jigsaw puzzle pieces that make up your team members lives , but you do have a significant impact on the work related ones, the more that you can make sure the bottom for a taken care off and even give some thought to how you might contribute to the sense of self actualization. The more likely you are to have highly engaged, highly productive, reliable, self confident employees. We'll talk about engagement again in a later listen. But to draw this together, I'd like you to consider this mess. Lows Hierarchy has endured the test of time because it has proven to be universal and highly applicable across almost all people. Because of this, I'm confident that sharing this information will be useful to you. I'm also confident that the same hierarchy of needs applies to you and your general. Take it clean page and divide it down the middle into two columns and across the page into five rows. He had the columns up with self on the lift and team environment on the right. Put a little notation along the far left side of the page with with each level of Maslow's hierarchy, self actualization at the top and physiological needs at the bottom. Now, starting at the bottom and working your way up, drop down a few thoughts in each box about a how you yourself feel you're doing at each level of the hierarchy and be how you could create a team environment that meets the needs and Christian or at least supports them. When you finished, work through the areas on the right hand side column and identify three things that you could do right now that would help your team members meet their needs. Pulls it away. Done great. Finally, I want to talk to you about the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Ultimately, it'll boils down to this, and I have found it to be the most useful rule of thumb for my management and leadership journey. While you do any defector in the individual differences, your team members have asking yourself whether you would like it if somebody did that to you, were treated you in that way is a pretty good barometer of how to treat your own staff. The only thing you need to remember is that your team members probably don't know all the things you know about reasons and rationales, so you need to factor that into your reflections as well. Great. See you in the next lesson. Building engagement 10. Lesson 6: Building Engagement: in this. Listen, we're going to focus on building engagement. There's a ton of literature out there on employee engagement, along with numerous tests for how to measure it. I'm not going to try and rehash those things, and it's did have included some links to useful articles and resources in the course materials. Instead, I just want to share with you a few really simple things you can do to build engagement that I know will serve you well. First foster connection. I want to talk about two types of connection that people need to have it work if they are to feel engaged. The first is connection to people, colleagues, their manager and so forth. As a manager, you can impact this by creating opportunities for people to work together on projects and also from time to time to socialize. The second is the connection between a person's work and the mission and strategy of the organization to feel important and valued. It helps to understand exactly how your work contributes to the overall accomplishments of the organization. Your job as a manager is to make sure that you know exactly how the work of your team and the individual team members within it contribute to that bigger picture. Talk about it often remind people draw out the connections because many of your staff won't know how to do this on their own. Individual contributors are often highly skilled that they work and also highly skilled at thinking very linearly about their own contribution. They literally can't make those connections without your help. Next, you can build a high trust high communication environment. Ah, high trust environment will emerge from you building and focusing on trust and effective communication. But you also need to roll model thes things and make it clear that is how you expect your team members to behave as well. If your team members trust you, but they don't trust each other, you're nowhere. And believe me, you can never communicate too much. Almost every single engagement survey I've ever participated in her finds in that communication is the number one problem that people need to fix, so communicate more often grow your team is how does it will seem. Your number one task is a manager is to grow your team so that they get promoted or leave. Don't be selfish. This is how you help them attain self actualization, and it is the quickest way to build engagement. Why build engagement? If your team is just going to leave, I hear you say, because they get more done and you'll all have a lot more fun while you're doing it. So you and the next listen groupie. 11. Lesson 7: GRPI: this listen is cooled, grippy and has a very funny acronym. That's hopefully made you pretty curious. I'm going to introduce you to a really simple but a fictive tool that I learned at Columbia University That has proven to be one of my go to tools in a variety of tricky work situations When things go wrong at work. Usually prisons is an interpersonal problem. Team members didn't communicate properly. They didnt get along. He tried to undermine May. She didn't listen to my suggestions. They didn't even consult. May you get the point. This sounds like schoolyard problems, not those sort of things you'd expect to see in a grown up workplace within a professional organization. But solid research has shown that in the vast majority of cases that problems are not into personal but lie elsewhere. It's meat groupie. It works like this. Roughly 80% of all workplace conflicts and disagreements stem from lack of clarity about goals. The G off the remaining 20%. 80% of these, or 16% of all workplace conflicts and disagreements steam from lack of clarity about roles . The off the remaining 4% 80% of these or 3.2% of all workplace conflicts and disagreements stem from lack of clarity about processes. The P the remaining 0.8% are truly interpersonal conflicts. This sounds astounding in a phenomenally beautiful example of the 80 20 principle at work. But if you think about it, measures hierarchy shows us that we all seek connection and friendship at work, so we wouldn't actually be likely to leap into interpersonal conflict without a really good reason. And the reasons, well, they relate to the next year of needs, esteem, respect, status, recognition and autonomy. We reacted an interpersonal way when things have happened at work that appear to threaten us in relation to respect, status, recognition and autonomy. We noticed this need when it's absent, but the things that caused the apparent threat to our estamos seldom intentional. These disparities arise from inadequate communication. Remember the least it on communication. The scenario with one person thinks they've been exceedingly clear about the goal of the project and the other person who'd what they seed but interpreted it in an entirely different way. The situation where you mentioned to tooting members that a particular task needs to be done, and they both assume you want them to lead it, not just contribute to it. The situation with a goal in Rome is clear, but there are multiple ways to achieve the same objective, and nobody realizes that everyone is heating off in their own direction. I'm sharing this information with you because it has an inherently practical application just because you have to members jumped two team members Jumping down each other's throats doesn't mean they haven't interpersonal problem, though it will become one. If you don't intervene, quickly call a meeting and focus everyone. I'm getting clear about the goal. Use your new communication skills to keep driving until you're sure everyone has the same understanding of the goal. Then move on to Rose. Who's going to do what is there a later? If so, who is it? What is it everybody else doing? What is your role? Then move on to process one of the next two specific steeps who gets to sign off on the outcome? Do you approve it? Does everyone else need to be kept in the loop? How frequently should the team mate who needs to be present if after you work through this process, you still have interpersonal matters emerging. It might be time to get some help, but 99.2% of the time, the problem will be solved before you get to that stage. That's the final listen in this course. So you and the conclusion we will draw the three together. 12. Lesson 8: Concluding Thoughts: That brings us to the end of part two of the first time managers crash course. You now understand a bit more about how to influence other people. We've touched on trust, communication, engagement, empathy, compassion, basic human needs and the daughter behind apparent into personal relationship issues. When you couple these lessons with those in part one self awareness, you're starting to build a pretty powerful leadership toolkit. But there's still a little something missing results. I really hope you'll join me soon. In part three of the first time managers crash course, see you there.