Emotional Intelligence for Businesses | Robin & Jesper ✓ | Skillshare

Emotional Intelligence for Businesses

Robin & Jesper ✓, Teaches Digital Marketing

Emotional Intelligence for Businesses

Robin & Jesper ✓, Teaches Digital Marketing

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13 Lessons (1h 26m)
    • 1. Emotional Intelligence Introduction Skillshare

      0:34
    • 2. Emotional Intelligence Explained

      4:48
    • 3. The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Sales

      6:17
    • 4. How to Increase Sales

      7:11
    • 5. How to Deal With Difficult Customers

      11:56
    • 6. Emotional Intelligence Mastery in 5 Steps

      6:10
    • 7. Exercise - Self-Awareness

      6:48
    • 8. Exercise - Self-Regulation

      9:49
    • 9. Exercise - Social Skills

      8:11
    • 10. Exercise - Empathy

      9:02
    • 11. Exercise - Motivation

      8:32
    • 12. Bonus - EQ Hack

      5:00
    • 13. Thank You!

      1:32
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About This Class

Would You Like to Learn How to Use Emotional Intelligence for Your Business?
Then, You've Come To The Right Place!

Emotional Intelligence for Businesses is an Online Video Course For Anyone Wanting To Learn to Increase Your Sales and Handle Difficult Customers. You'll Learn How to be Successful With Your Sales in Any Business, Marketing, or Sales Situation.

Inside This Course, You'll learn how to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence.
This Course Also Includes Premium Support.
(We'll answer all your questions within 24 hours).

After This Course, You'll Be Able To

  • Improve Your Sales.

  • Handle Difficult Customers.

  • Control Your Emotions.

What You Will Master Inside This Course

  1. Emotional Intelligence for Sales Success

  2. Dealing With Difficult Customers

  3. How to Become Self-Aware

  4. How to Self-Regulate

  5. How to be Social

  6. How to be Empathic

  7. How to Stay Motivated

This Course Includes Templates & Tools That Will Help to Optimize Your Communication!

The Majority of the Tools in This Course Are FREE And the Paid Tools Are Only the Very BEST.

See You Inside The Emotional Intelligence for Sales Success.

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Robin & Jesper

Meet Your Teacher

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Robin & Jesper ✓

Teaches Digital Marketing

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We're passionate about teaching! There's no greater joy than watching beautiful testimonials of people achieving their goals and dreams. That's why we STRONGLY believe in full and constant support. With ALL of our courses you can expect:

If you're interested in learning Digital Marketing - Social Media Marketing or Creating a Something Awesome..

We're at your service!

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Robin & Jesper

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Transcripts

1. Emotional Intelligence Introduction Skillshare: higher. Welcome to the course on how you can increase your sales with emotional intelligence. My name is yes, for and I will be one of the instructors off this course. And my name is Robin, and I'll be the other instructor off base course. Now, if you're looking to increase sales, learn how to handle difficult customers and master emotional intelligence, you come to the right place. Now we'll take you through various exercises and techniques to show you how to do just that . Step by step, we'll see you in the next video. 2. Emotional Intelligence Explained: hi and welcome to the course on how to increase your sales using emotional intelligence. So I hope you are as excited as I am, and we're going to start from the very beginning by properly understanding exactly what emotional intelligence is. Let's dive into. So what is emotional intelligence? Well, emotional intelligence is sometimes also referred to emotional quotient that is a cute and basically it is the ability to manage and understand your own emotions as well as others. Emotions. Now you might have heard off the term I Q. Before I. Q stands for intelligence quotients, and it is your ability just sold complex task that is tough apostles Tough Quiz says anything that requires a lot of thinking. That is your intelligence quotient, your cube and the better you are at it, the higher your I Q. Now on the other side of that is your EQ you, and that is your ability to understand your own emotions and understand other's emotions. So, in other words, that better that you can understand your own and others emotions, the higher your e que is so basically acute intelligence e que emotional and this entire course we're going to focus on maximizing our e que to increase our sales. Now, this is something valuable skills for business owners, for marketers, for sales people, because everyone are emotionally driven. And if we can understand what drives people, we can also understand how to sell to those people. So, in order to properly understand emotional intelligence, there are three major parts that we need to understand. Now, the first part is understanding your emotions, and that is understanding what triggers your emotions and understand what affects your behavior. For example, if you know that holding a presentation makes you nervous, well, then you know what triggers that emotion, right? Then you're already in a deeper understanding of your emotions. And if you understand that whenever you are nervous, well, then you start avoiding people and you're not a very pleasant person to be around. Well, then you understand how the nervousness I fix you as a person, right? So this is how you understand what triggers your emotions and how it affects you. Then we have a proper understanding of for emotions. So, for example, if you have a presentation, you probably don't want to schedule any meetings that they because you're not gonna be a very pleasant person to be around. You're not gonna build in a great relationship. You're not going to improve your sales to your company. All right, so that is the first part understanding your emotions now the second party controlling your emotions. And we're looking at control in two terms because there are two types of emotions. One, there are very intense emotions, for example, when you're very angry by understanding that you might not be able to change your anger like this. But maybe you can manage your anger. Maybe if you know that when I'm angry, I behaved badly. So I'm going to go for a walk instead. And during that walk, my anger is going to diminish. Then you're managing your intense emotion, and then there's the other side, and that is controlling your emotion. So, for example, if you have a difficult customer that starts attacking you because they're angry their product didn't work instead of becoming angry yourself on attacking back. What you can do is use certain techniques that you will learn in this course in order to empathize with them, understand why they're angry, and then we have changed. Instead of being angry, we are empathic, and that is much, much, much more productive. So then we have managed to change a destructive feeling into a productive feeling. So that is the second part. Controlling your emotions and sometimes controlling means managing and finally understand other's emotions. Now customers buys things based on their emotions by understanding their emotions and understanding why they buy something we can sell to them based on those emotions. And that is the most effective way to increase sales. So to summarize, emotional intelligence is basically understanding your own emotions, controlling your emotions. And when you have these two, then you're able to understand other's emotions. And this is how we use emotional intelligence to increase our sales. And in the next lecture, we're going to look more specifically at why and how to use emotional intelligence to really bump up those sales. See in the next lecture 3. The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Sales: welcome back. So in this lecture, we're going to be learning about the power off emotional intelligence in sales. Let's dive in. So first of all, if you are looking to hire somewhat, why wouldn't you hire an intelligent person someone with a high I Q rather than someone with a high E cube? Well, the reason for that is because studies show that people that have a high e que that is, ah, high emotional intelligence improve their sales by 50% 50%. That is massive. So they have done studies that looked at people that have really high emotional intelligence. And then there are those who have the average and low. And they saw that those who have the high emotional intelligence have 50% more sales that those who are at average and below. So that means that improve in your emotional intelligence is one of the most surefire way to improve your sales. And that is what this entire course iss about. Now let's look at how that happens. Well, first of all, highly emotional, intelligent people are experienced oriented. What does that mean? Well, that means that they look at other people and they look to give them on an experience. So while the classical sales person will walk up to someone with one thing in mind sales, the highly emotional, intelligent person will walk up to that person and focus on connecting with that person. Focus on understanding that person and delivering a great experience. And the result of this is the increased sales, more loyal customers and much better branding Now imagine if customers have a great feeling towards your brand towards your product. They will come back. And that is why we see highly emotional, intelligent people succeeding in sales, succeeding in marketing and succeeding in business because they are giving people what they want. Remember, everyone is emotionally driven, understand their emotion and sell on based on those emotions, and you increase your sales, you increase your results on. Do you have much happier customers now? Next up. Emotional, intelligent people understand how to build trust. Now, whenever you're looking at buying a product or buying a service, you're always skeptical. You're always skeptical about prize. You're always skeptical about quality everything. You might even be skeptical about the person selling it. Then the Brown, However, by focusing on delivering a great experience and building a trust to your customer. Your customer will trust what you say, and when the customer's trust what you say, it's much easier to sell to them and when you understand what they want and you can truly cell based on what they really want, not on Lee, do you increase yourself? You're increasing the amount of loyal customers you get, and you're increasing their satisfaction. As you can see, this is a win win situation for the business, for the marketers, with salespeople, for the customers. Everyone wins by being highly emotionally intelligent because you connect with each other and everyone has a great experience. So they focus on building trust rather than focusing on selling. Because if you focus on the trust and if you focus on the great experience, your chances off getting a sale are maximized. Next up, Emotionally intelligent people are socially competent. That means that they understand how to act among people. They understand different cultures, they understand different behaviors and they don't take things personally. They understand how to deliver a great experience, my understanding, other people. Now we're all social creatures, but we all come from different cultures by understanding different culture and by understanding people's different needs and drives. You can use that social intellect to truly connect with people, build trust, deliver a great experience, and that is where you get this sale. And then, finally, it's emotional. Intelligent people can handle criticism now if you ever worked with the customer service industry, if you've ever been a sales person or you ever owned the business or done marketing, you will know that people are going to get angry at you for something that's not your fold . You don't even have to be in business to get that. That is just everyday life. Emotionally intelligent people do not take things personally. They can handle criticism. And they see angry customers rather than a problem as an opportunity. Because if you can convert on anger, disappointed or sad customer, the chances of you getting a loyal customer much, much higher and loyal customers come back and they buy more and more and more, and that is how you increase sales. So to recap, the true power behind emotional intelligence in sales lies in the fact that it can improve your sales by as much as 50% now. Understand if you have a lower average each year, or if you're hiring people that have a lower average e que by developing it or hiring people with a higher EQ you that is emotional intelligence. You can improve your sales with as much as 50% and that alone is worth spending a ton off time and effort on developing this skill. Next up. Emotional intelligence People are experienced oriented. They understand that people are looking to have a good time to that are they are emotionally driven and they don't want to be sold to. They want to have a great experience that they want to have the their emotional needs, fulfilled emotional intelligence. People knows how to build trust. They are socially competent and finally they can handle criticism. They don't take things personally. We're going to look at how to improve all of these different things in this course, and in the very next lecture, we're going to look a specific ways and specific techniques to improve and increase sales. So you in the next lecture 4. How to Increase Sales: welcome back. So in this lecture, we're going to learn how to increase our sales by using principles and techniques that are based on emotional intelligence. All right, let's dive in. So we already know that emotional, intelligent people sell up towards 50% more than those who do not scores high on their emotional intelligence. So in this lecture, we're gonna look at the how to achieve that. And the first thing we're going to talk about is overcoming objections, right? So what is an objection of an objection is when a customer this like something on a product or service. So let's say, for example, that you are selling trimmers. That's the a beard trimmer. And then your customer says, Hey, I don't like the fact that there is no cord that connects to this bear trimmer. I don't trust it well. Instead, off that being a problem, the emotional, intelligent person would turn that into an opportunity. So instead of saying yeah, that it's a problem, you could turn that around and you could say, Do you like to travel? Then the customer says, Yes, I travel all the time. Well, if there's no cord, you can always bring it with you. And no matter if there's no electricity in the bathroom, you can always shapes. You are completely free to shape whenever you want, wherever you are independently, if there's in electrical in the bathroom or not. So now we have turned the problem into a solution into a benefit. And then the customer might say, Hey, that's actually great. I would hate Do you know, travel somewhere not being able to shape now I can always shape. Yeah, that is true. So that is the first principle of overcoming objections. Objections are opportunities for problems holding right They are not a problem. They are opportunities. So the next thing is handling rejections. Now rejections are nothing but feedback to improve your technique. Now we have to realize that not everyone can be sold to. Sometimes the product or service is just a bad fit for the customer. And that's it, that that's just the way it goes. But in the majority of cases, it's going to be more about connecting to them properly and talking their language and understanding them property right? So whenever you are rejected, whenever you fail to sail and this is going to happen. See that as an opportunity to review yourself and say, Okay, what did I do? And what could I have done better? Don't put yourself down. That is not what emotional intelligence people do. Don't blame yourself. Look at this objectively and say What could have gone better? How can I do better and get excited about that idea? Because it can only get better from here. So that's the second thing learning to handle rejection and making them into an opportunity to improve. Third is building rapport. Now. If you never heard the word report, that's French. That basically means to copy or to mimic. So building report means that you adapt to your customer. You adapt to the other person. For example, let's say that you have a customer who's really fast and they're talking like this, and they're really speeded up really hyper. And then us a sales person comes in and you were slowing. Yeah, how how can I help you? Well, that's a mismatch, right? Because the speeded up person wants to meet someone who is more like themselves because we all like people who are like ourselves, right? That's the more narcissistic parts of us, so we all enjoy people who we can connect with that are similar to ourself. So if you have a customer and they're talking like this and they're really speeded up, then you need to speed up and match them. That is called building rapport when you match them. So now Europe. Hey, how can I help you? How are you? Increase your energy and adapt to them. Similarly, if you have a customer who's, you know is slow worry and and they're they're a bit calmer and they're talking more slowly . Then you cannot go in there and go, Hey, how are you doing with a lot of energy? That's a mismatch that will not go well that it's not building trust, relationship or bringing a good experience. So when you have a customer who slow, you slow down to match their energy, do what they do sound like they do always be yourself, but do it on their terms. If they talk fast, you increase your speed. If they have high energy, you have hired energy. If they have low energy, you have low energy. If they use a difficult vocabulary, the use difficult words you use difficult words match them that is building report, and that is how you build trust. Give them a better experience and increase your sales. Right, so you adapted a unique individual in front of you. Fourth, delayed gratification allow the sales process to take time. Sometimes when you're selling something to someone that is an experience and on experiences and in the individual thing. So just because you have in mind that you're gonna sell us much as possible to as many people as possible, that is not productive. See every individual you meet as a person as a unique experience. Match with them. Build trust, build a relationship and allow them to take their time, overcome their objections, match with them, connect with them, have a great time with them. And that is delayed gratification. Understanding that getting great results can take time because I promise, if you take the time with your customer in person or in marketing, could be on phone. Could be over an email or as a business owner trying to land a deal. Take your time, and that will be a great experience. You will be appreciated. People will come back those air loyal customers. That's how you land the truly great deals and improve your sales. And then finally, the fifth Way is to actively listen. Hearing someone isn't enough. Actively, listen and respond. Now what most people do is when someone is talking, they are preparing themselves what to say next. If you are preparing to what to say, make, you're not listening. Instead, actively. Listen, don't prepare what to say. Next, listen to what the customer is saying and then respond back based what they just said, because that shows that you have been listening. So if they are talking about oh, how they have, you know, really big feet for these shoes that one feet is always bigger than the other. You might, by showing that you've been active listening as, oh well, how does that usually work out when you're out buying shoes? Considering that you have different sizes to you, then by two different pairs of shoes, for example, this shows that you've been active listening. Now you're connecting with your customer that builds trust that makes it into a better experience that improves your sales. So these are a couple of techniques and principles on how to increase sales. All right, so this will be available as a template. You condone. Load it any time. Feel free to use its practice. This because this is practice and then see the results. All right. In the next lecture, we're going to talk about and learn how to handle difficult customers. See you in the next lecture. 5. How to Deal With Difficult Customers: Hi and welcome back. Now, if you've ever been in the world off business or marketing, even just for a short while, you will have built with difficult customers. At some point, you may not like it, but they exist and they will continue to exist. So in this lecture we are going to learn how to deal with those difficult customers. Let's dive in. So a difficult customer is never easy. That's where they call the difficult customer, Right? So we're gonna look at a couple of principles and techniques in order to take their big emotional charge, tone it down and potentially even changing them too. Loyal, happy customers. All right, so step by step now, the first technique we can use it is active listening. Now, it spoke about active listening in the previous lecture. We're going to die a little bit deeper into that because if you have a guy looking like this coming to you, that's not gonna be an easy job, right? So let's look at an example here so say you have a customer that says the mic is broken, the volume controller doesn't work and the Bluetooth is a disaster. I expected so much more right to the product isn't working now. Here is a typical reply. I understand. I'll see what I can do. That's a problem that's a really, really bad replied, because it doesn't show that you listen. It doesn't show that you care, and it doesn't even show that you're going to properly be doing anything. So in order to use active listening as a technique, here is what I suggest instead, so you could say Oh wow, I would expect so much more to So the entire product is pretty much broken. Is this correct notice again? So the entire product is pretty much broken? Is this correct? This shows that you have been listening to what the customer just said, and that form of active listening is the first step in calming down a heated customer and making them feel understood. From there, things just get easier. So that's the first way. Using active listening is one of the most useful things you learn not only dealing with difficult customers but dealing with difficult people in life over. All right, so let's look at the other now. Next up is teaming up right to team up So let's take an example. You have a customer that comes in and says, I bought the product yesterday and it stopped. Working after just a couple of hours is just completely unacceptable. And here is the typical response. Did you follow the manual? Where did you drop the product and damage it? At some point, I noticed that this reply is pretty defensive. They're attacking the customer I and this is pretty normal. A lot of sales people. A lot of business owners go this route, and it's not productive. If you have an angry customer, I promise you you're gonna have a much more angry customer, right? So that's a bad reply. Here's what I suggest. Instead, it's definitely unacceptable. A product shouldn't break in just a couple of hours. Let's get that taking care. So what is happening here? Well, if you look at the wording, it's definitely unacceptable and at the end will say, Let's get that taking care. So here's what usually happens. A customer here comes in with a broken product. The product is here, right, and you are over here and they are attacking you because the product is broken or faulty. So most of the customers angry at you now, by teaming up by showing, yes, that is definitely unacceptable. What you're doing instead, off being the one that being attacked here and you're attacking each other, you actually move over and you team up with the customer. So you know what? Now you and the customer or both teaming up against the product, right? So now you and that customer are on the same team, so you are not the problem. The product is the problem and you are both on the same team. This is a super effective way off calming the customer and make sure that hey, you are absolutely right. A product should not break that quickly. Let's get that taken care of. We are in the same tea. Super powerful technique comes down, the customer builds trust. Vassal improves the experience. It makes them feel understood. Makes them think Hey, Wow. I'm getting some solid help here. I'm really enjoying this company. I'm really enjoying this person super effectively off calming and difficult customer. So that's the second way that it's teaming up. And I use this all the time and then we have repeat back right so say, for example, you have a customer that comes in and say, I've been trying to get in contact with your support team for hours without success. What am I even paying for? Here is a typical response. You might have someone who says, Well, there's a lot of people waiting for support. We can't help everyone at once. So once again, being defensive is never good. Being defensive and blaming or attacking or just taking no responsibility for the problem is a sure fire way to get a heat. That customer even more heated on anger customer is going to be more angry. Ah, sad customer is going to be more sad, etcetera. And that is not how we deal with difficult customers. So here's what I suggest. Instead, we could say, Oh wow, you've been trying to get a hold of us for hours. I'm so sorry about that. Let's make sure your problem is being taken care. So it's very, very simple what we did here. It's just we repeated. Oh wow. You've been trying to get a hold of us for hours that is repeating back. It's different from active listening because you're not taking their symptoms and then delivering it in a different meaning. You're simply repeating back. This method is easier to use. Active listening is more demanding. You need to understand that if you have someone who superheated and you don't have the time to properly understand them, you can use the repeat back technique. Just repeat what they said. They will calm down, and then you can ask some more questions. Start to understand the further. So repeat back. It's just that you just repeat what their problem waas. Right? Then they're going to confirm they're gonna feel understood and you can work from there. And once you have that, then you start understanding. That's when you incorporate actively sneak more and more and more. We always need to listen. But actively, Snake also means taking what they said and then saying it back to them. But with your own sentence, it takes more effort. This is the short cut to when things air truly, really, really heated. So use this quite sparingly when you really need to and use active listening in the majority of cases. Okay, next up we have explained how you will sold the problem. This is the name pretty much explains. It felt right. So let's take an example. The product isn't working properly, the buttons or stock and there are scratch marks all over. It's all right. So here's a typical reply. I'm sorry to hear that. We'll see what we can do. Not a very good reply, Right, Because you're not telling them what you're gonna do. You're gonna say, we'll see what we can do. It doesn't say that much does. It is no promise. There's no explaining what you're going to do. Nothing. So if you have a really heat that customers, that's a strong emotion there, their anger, their very sad or very upset. They're they're irritated. Whatever it might be, you want to show them that hate. I'm going to actively help you solve this problem. So what I suggest instead issue saying I'm sorry to hear that here is what will do. And then you're going to explain the procedure off what's going to happen and what you're going to do, even if it's something completely mundane for you. So Okay, I'm going to check this in the database, and then I'm going to contact this person and then we're going to see over what options we have. At least you're explaining the process. When you're explaining the process, you're being transparent and you're also explaining how you're going to sold their problem . This again builds trust, makes them feel understood. So it's very important that in every case you explain to the customer what you're about to do. This is how you have them. Calm down. So once again, the key is in. Here's what we'll do. Always explain what you're going to do, and then finally we have get feedback. This one is very simple. That makes you an example. So you help the customer and you don't All of you can for them and they say, Okay, thanks for the help. The normal reply is your welcome. And that makes sense, right? This is how we're talking everyday life. But you want to get feedback. You're looking to improve your looking to improve your emotional intelligence. So instead, what I recommend is saying something like, Did that solve your problem? And if it if they say yes, you say, Is there anything else I can help you with? This is once again building that relationship building that bond and building that trust. Making this into a fantastic experience, they might say. Did that solve your problem? Yeah, but there's this one more thing. And then if you console that problem for them, you have such a happy customer and you might even in order to solve that being managed to sell more things to them or just turn them into a more loyal customer at a better experience. This is how you increase customer satisfaction, and that is how you increased sales. And if you did help them, is there anything else I can help you with? This just shows that you're there to help. You're willing to connect. You want to give them a great experience and to have someone who wants to give your great experience that it's work so much so that is the final way. Get feedback and improve. So to summarize, we have active listening. Don't just prepare what you're going to say next, Really? Listen and then show that you hear, heard what they said and that you understand we have teaming up, so go on their side. You know, if they're attacking, you don't never attack back. Simply see that the product is the problem here, so team up on them and then you both take care off the product, be on the same team as the customer. Third, repeat back is for the truly heat. That moment, when you can hardly hear what they have to say, just repeat what they said, and then they start to calm down and then move on to active listening. Explain how you will solve the problem. Always be clear how you will solve the problem for them. They need transparency, right? They don't want to hear. We'll see what we can do. That means nothing. Explain how and finally get feedback. Always see. Did you actually solve the problem for them? And if you did, is there anything else you can help them with? Always be open. Always be clear about this and get feedback and make things better for them. Right? And finally, I want to say one more thing that it's not in this list because it's not a technique. It's just a principle to always keep in mind. It's never, ever personal. Don't take things personally. When I used to work as a personal trainer, we had a lot of difficult customers, but they always had a thing as well that where if there was a truly difficult customer coming, they would always send that difficult customer to me. Why? Well, not because I'm a great sales person by any stretch, not because he knew a bunch of techniques, but simply because when I met that difficult person and they said a lot of sometimes mean, sometimes stupid things, it was never personal, ever. And we always focus on having a good time having a good experience together and that always ended up with happy customers. So that is how simply I dealt with difficult customers were other struggle because it's never personal. I promise you, you can keep that in mind. It's never, ever personal. You are going to not only make your life easier, you're going to improve your sales just like I did, and you're going to have much, much happier customers. All right, I hope this has been beneficial to you in the next lecture. We're going to go even deeper in emotional intelligence and look at how to develop ourselves in order to develop my Austrian emotional intelligence to improve our sales. See in the next lecture 6. Emotional Intelligence Mastery in 5 Steps: welcome back. So in the previous lectures we have used emotional intelligence in order to improve and increase your sales in business and marketing situations. Now we're going to dive even deeper. We are going to go beyond using emotional intelligence for you. It's a business marketer or sales person. We are going to learn how to improve emotional intelligence in you as a person, because a great person, a highly emotional, intelligent person, is a fantastic sales person, is a fantastic marketer and it's a fantastic business owner and is fantastic in life. Overall has more satisfying relationship has more happiness, etcetera, etcetera. So in order to take this to the next level, we're going to look at improving our emotional intelligence for us as people because nothing will doom or in order to improve our sales in our businesses than changing ourselves as people with emotional intelligence. So what we're going to do is look at five key areas that the famous science journalist and author Daniel Goleman identified that you need to improve in order to be highly emotional intelligence. Let's dive into it. No one has done more than Daniel Goldman in order to make emotional intelligence popular, and thanks to him, we have the concept today and we can use it to our advantage is through his studying and through his learning, he realized that these are the five key areas that we need to improve to become truly emotionally intelligent. And those five areas, our number one cell awareness, self awareness is understanding ourselves our own emotions. We need to understand what kind of emotions we have when we get those emotions, how they're triggered and how they affect us. When we get those emotions. This is self awareness understanding ourselves. And when we get those emotions, how do we treat people? How do these emotions affect our treatment off others? All of this is self awareness. That is the very foundation for emotional intelligence. It's step number one, and then we have step number two, and that is cell regulation. This is basically your ability to control your own emotions if you understand how to manage truly intense emotions and how to change those nagging emotions, for example, the frustration that comes up a little bit every day or those constant negative thoughts and that bad self talk in the back of your head, If you can understand, have to control, change and manage all of these. You can self regulate to turn yourself from a destructive mode into a truly productive mode , and that is the second step. And that is only possible when we have self awareness. So that is what is the second step. Then we have the third step, and that is social skills. Social skills is basically understanding relationship, understanding people around you, how to connect with other people in a deep, meaningful way. I'm not just talking cold talking. I'm talking truly connecting with another person, understanding them and building a meaningful relationship. This is what we're looking to do, a sales people is. What we're looking to do with business connections is what we're looking to do when we are marketing to other people. Now, in order to have those abilities, we need to be able to understand and use those abilities as people in everyday life. It's not just business networking. It's also everyday networking because if you can develop these abilities in U. S. A person, they will translate to your business and marketing, and that is why we're focusing on us a person right now, so social skills is your ability to connect with other people. On the fourth step is empathy. Empathy is when you understand how others feel when you can relate to others feeling and understand other people's situation. So it's self awareness is understanding yourself in your own emotions. Empathy is understanding other people and other people's emotions, right? They are that it's the other side of self awareness. It is awareness off others that is empathy. And that is the fourth step we're going to sell to anyone. We need to understand how they feel and when they feel what they feel. And similarly, if we want to have a satisfying life, we need to be able to connect and understand other people properly. Be empathic right? And then we have the fifth and final step, and that is motivation. Your motivation is your Why why are you doing what you're doing? Why why do you work as a sales person? Why do you own a business wire? You doing this marketing by understanding why you're doing what you do, you will have more energy to continue doing it. You will be much more productive, and it's much easier to bounce back from rejections from tough customers. And when things get really tough simply because you understand why you do what you're doing . So motivation is very important when it comes to emotional intelligence. So these are the five different steps that you need to develop and monster in order to become truly emotional intelligence. What we're going to do is that we're going to start from the very beginning, Step number one, and that is self awareness. We're going to look at it and then we're going to do a couple off exercises for it. So final note, I want to say that in all of these different steps we're going to go through them one by bomb, and we're going to do a couple of exercises on all of them in order to truly develop them and you will get templates. But remember, you don't need to do all of the exercises every day. I want you to pick the exercises that connects the best with you and continue doing that regular. Okay, so something some form of exercise and each of these steps do them regularly and you will develop your emotional intelligence. This is how we create monster. See, in the next lecture 7. Exercise - Self-Awareness: welcome back. So in this lecture we're going to start with step number one, and that is doing exercises to improve ourselves. Awareness, Remember, self awareness is how where we are off our own emotions, why we feel the way we do, how that affects other people and our decision making when we feel the way we do what are triggers are etcetera. It is understanding ourselves being aware off ourselves simply, Let's dive him. So for half one of the best exercises you can do to improve your self awareness is to keep a daily journal. All right, so right down the biggest events that happened during your day, no matter how big or small they were adding your thoughts about the events basically asked the question, How waas your day now by simply journaling everything that happened during your day. You start building awareness over what is happening every day, right? So instead of going through life and going through day by day, as you know, just another day, no awareness at all, just letting it pass by time flies stop journal. Write down what happened that day and here with theological literally what happened during that day And what are your thoughts about what happened right? That leads us on to the next exercise. And that is daily reflection. So daily reflection is reflecting on how your day Waas, What happened that you liked what happened that you didn't like, reflect on why and then see what you can learn from this. So the difference between journaling and reflecting is that in journaling you're writing down what happened. And then you write down your thoughts about what happened when we're reflecting. We're looking at the emotional side, right? How did that make me feel? What did I like? What didn't I like? Why did I like that? Why didn't I like that? So what I recommend you do is that you do your daily journal and you write down everything that happened and then your thoughts and then adding your reflections in that daily journal . But if you decide to not use the Daily journal and simply used to daily reflection, then simply focus on how things made you feel. What did you like? What? Didn't you like? Why that is the big question. Why did you like it? Why didn't you like it again? Strongly recommended to do The Daily Journal. It's such an incredible habit to have because it just keeps raising your awareness day by day by day. So in just 12 months time, you'll have a different outlook in light. You will have a much higher awareness okay to exercises, and here are the third and that is asked for feedback. So whenever you have done any work you know on event speeds or had an interesting conversation, ask for feedback. What went well in the event or conversation on what could have abandoned better? The reason we're asking for this feedback is because someone else someone that is not you, is going to have a different perspective on you. And when you get that different perspective on you, you're going to have something you to reflect on. Write something new to write in your daily journal, something you to reflect on. Did you like what you heard? Or did you not like what you heard? Why? And this is how we increase our awareness, right? So other people's input is very important because we can see things from different angles, and it gives us a new opportunity to reflect. So ask for feedback. And then finally, the fourth and that is meditation. I'm not sure if you've ever meditated before or not, and it can feel like a struggle in the beginning. But this, I mean, this goes way back to the Hindus and Buddhists, the Houston, that they had an incredible awareness, right. So focus on your breath for 5 to 20 minutes twice a day, and your mind is given the opportunity for stillness and then see, what did you experience? How did it make you feel? So when you do meditation and all you need to do is sit down, sit comfortably. You don't need to be super flexible. I certainly am not. Just sit comfortably, close your eyes and breathe. Breathe in and out through your nose and focus on the feeling off your breath touching skin under your nose. Here, set a timer for between five and 20 minutes and do that once or twice a day. Now. I personally prefer to do this twice a day for 20 minutes. I do it once when I wake up. This is how I start my day, and I do it once before I go to bed before I go to sleep is the perfect exercise because we have something in our brain called the default network mode right that is a part of your brain that's responsible for the everyday talking for the negative, blah, blah, blah, blah and where you're just going through the motions each day when we meditate like this, we start to shut off that part of our brain. We shot down our default mode network, which means that our mind gets to be silent for a little while. So that means that during that time and when you come back, you will have a different awareness. And this is how we constantly get a new and increased awareness every day. So it's a fantastic exercise to have to keep and to work on every day. So regardless of which of these exercises you decide to use, it's important that you stay consistent and use them every day. And don't take this lightly because if you want to improve your emotional intelligence, self awareness is the foundation. No matter how good all of the others are. If you are lacking self awareness, you are going to be missing out on all of the others so focused on getting a really solid self awareness. So to recap and summarize one, Do your Daily Journal write down what happened that day and what were your thoughts to do? Daily reflections. What did you like that happened during the day? What happened that you didn't like? Why third, ask for feedback. Get someone else's input. If you had an event, if you had a presentation, ask them what they thought and from that feedback, reflect on it and get a new perspective on yourself. And fourth, meditate. Now go into the silence, come out of there with a completely new perspective and do this regularly to increase your itself. Awareness. Now there's a template in the resource is for all of these exercises. I recommend that you at least try all of them out the side on which ones you want to stick to for probably all of them. But when you speak to them, stay consistent because staying consistent. That is how we raise our self awareness. Now let's move on to the next lecture, where we're going to do some exercises for sale regulation. See in the next lecture 8. Exercise - Self-Regulation: welcome back. So in this lecture, we're going to do a couple of exercises to improve our self regulation. Remember, self regulation is our ability to control and to manage our emotions. Let's dive in. So let's start up with the easiest and most accessible self regulation technique, and that is pausing and breathing. All right, So simply stop your train of thoughts. Wherever you that you're about to say or do something, relax and focus on your breathing. Now inhale to the count off five and exhale to the count off. Five. Do this until the emotional charge starts to leave. All right, so let's say that you are in a situation. Someone says something that triggers something in your it might be a customer comes up to you and says a really bad word. They might give you the blame for something that is not yours might just be a conflict in your relationship or a friend, whatever it might be. Simply stop. Don't respond because you're in a bad state. Just stop and then counts and exhale for five. And that is all. Now, do this. Just it might take us little as half a minute. You don't need to close your eyes if you are in a conversation that is going to be all but just inhale for a count of five exhaled your account. If I You can continue doing this while you're in a conversation, just ask questions so that other person can continue talking while you allow yourself to have this charge. Leave now. If you are by yourself, you can sit down. Just take a minute. Calm down, relax, close your eyes and do this. But of course, if you are in the middle of something, just focus on this internally and then allow the other person to continue talking. It's very accessible, quick and easy to do, and it helps you relax and calm down. So if you're really angry, this is going to take the end show. If you're starting to feel really sad, this is also going to be taking the edge off Whatever it might be used to pausing and breathing techniques whenever you're caught in a moment where you just know that you are too charged up, you need to relax and calm down. All right, so this is the most accessible technique. Whenever you found yourself to emotionally charged, pausing and breathing. Now the second thing is a body scan, right? So simply scan your body for any area of tension. Breathe in and out of that area until the discomfort starts to ease. Now, this is a mindfulness technique. Now the reason that we're doing it in an area of the body is because we have on emotion, right? So let's say that you're angry, for example. Well, how do you know that you are angry? The only way to feel anger is by having some sort of tension in your body, and your brain interprets that tension into a feeling, and that feeling is interpreted into an emotional. We call that emotion, anger, and it feels really uncomfortable. And it exists somewhere within our body. All right, so emotion, what we label it feeling the way it feels. It feels really a nice. And then there is the tension, the physical tension that is the basic, the origin off the emotion. All right, those are the feelings sensations. So let's say that you're feeling angry. Scan your body. Where is the anger? Let's say that it is in your chest. Okay? You feel it in your chest. Your breathe in and out of your chest. You don't need to count your inhales or exhales nothing like that. Just breathe in and out of that area. And if you feel that charge starting to leave, you know, the anger is easing up. So this is a perfect thing to do when you got some time for yourself and especially dealing with, you know, something that really upset you. And you need to kind of go away for a little bit, you know, maybe go for a walk. Maybe sick by yourself. This is a perfect technique to do. Or maybe you had a you know, a rocky road in your relationship. You had a fight with a friend or you just had a difficult customer. And now you kind of, you know, you got the bad chargin you. This is a way to release that. Just scan your body. Where is that tension off the emotion, All the tapes in my stomach. So I'm just gonna gently have my attention on my stomach re vein and breathe out off that area and continue doing that until his fields easier. All right. That is the second technique, and then we have the third technique, and this is a mental technique, and it's called one week from now. So once the strong emotions sets in that you're about to say something in response to that , you know, we usually respond to anger with anger. Just stop and ask yourself, Will I be happy and proud of what I'm about to say one week from now? Right? So let's say that you've got a really nasty email from someone and you're about to respond that you feel the anger in you and your your writing a pretty pesky response, a pretty snappy response. You know, you can tell that there's anger in your reply. Re read that email and ask yourself, Am I going to be happy that I sent this one week from now? Or maybe have some comment built up in your head for that customer, or for your friend, or for your partner for your family? Think about it. I Am I going to be happy that I said this comment one week from now. This is a really good technique because it can stop you in your tracks from making big decisions. It's a really good thing to have both in your personal life and in your business. Life is called one week from now. Simply ask yourself, Am I going to be proud that I said this one week from that work? Am I going to be proud that I did this one week from now? All right, let's look at the fourth and final technique, and that is called reframing, and this is a very powerful technique. Now reframing is something that is used in cognitive behavioral therapies called CBT. It's a very effective form of therapy. You use it on trauma, some phobias, etcetera. Now we're not gonna use this on traumas or phobias that we're gonna leave that to the psychologist. But we can use this on our own emotions for things that trigger us or for things that feel really difficult. So, for example, if you know that when someone yells at you, you tend to get very sad or if you know that you are a very shy person, right that you have difficult is holding a presentation. We can use reframing to exchange that feeling with another. So here's how we do it. We take a thought or on event that we have and see how we can view it in a more positive and productive manner by changing the story of it. All right, so let's say that we have a hard time holding a presentation, right? We're really nervous. We have stage fright. So when we imagine holding that presentation, we're probably gonna get all jittery and we're gonna think all those things like people are gonna judge me. I'm gonna look fat. I'm gonna forget what I'm about to say. I'm gonna you starter. You're gonna hear the shakiness in my voice. All of that are things that you're making up in your mind. That's a story that you're making up. None of that is true because it hasn't happened yet, right? We're making this up. This is how we create stories in our mind. What we do with reframing is the literally would put a new frame. Are we create a different story. So what? I want you to do that it's just sit down, close your eyes or keep them open and imagine that same scenario. But the story is different. You go up there, you imagine yourself speaking clearly. You're calm you're having a good time, you know what to say and you might even make a mistake. But that's fine, because you feel so confident that you laugh about it. Everyone else laps with you. You're having a good time. You're connecting to the audience. The audience is connecting with you, and now you can feel this excitement building up its that. So, instead of having this story that is completely negative and trash talking, are south of putting ourselves down, which we do all day is just human nature. We reframe it right. We build a different story, a story that is productive instead of destructive. So this is the most demanding technique of all. This kind of it requires that you sit down and take a little bit of time for yourself, and you really go through this and you repeat this a couple of time to really settle this story. But it's also the most powerful technique of all of them When it comes to self regulation, it's a fantastic way. If you have, you know, it could be anything it might be. If you have issues with anger, you have stage fried or you're afraid off being a sales person. Maybe you feel it's too confrontational to sell to anyone who maybe have issues connecting with people, whatever it might be. You have a story about that. Change that story and you change the results right? Reframing very, very powerful. So let's recap. So the first technique will have his pausing and breathing is the most accessible technique . You can use it instantly in the moment when you feel that something is building up. When you have a charge, right, the 2nd 1 is a body scan, so feel the tension in your body with in and out is a perfect way to have that tension that is creating the emotion leave and then we have one week from now. So before you making a big decision, when you know that there's a strong emotion in you, it can be anger, irritation of sadness, apathetic whatever it might be. Ask yourself, Am I going to be proud that I did or said this one week from now? And finally we have reframing. We're creating a different story rather than the one that we already have about ourselves or about an event that hasn't happened yet or about an event that even happened. So if you had a traumatic experience off one's being on stage in delivering a presentation and it all went back, you can change that story because that doesn't exist anymore, right? The only place that exists is in here, and this is fiction. This is all we're making up. So why not make up something productive in step? And that is reframing perfect? Well done. It's time to move on to step three in our emotional intelligence master, see in the next lecture. 9. Exercise - Social Skills: hello again and welcome back. So we are at the third stage, and that is we're going to do some exercises to improve our social skills. Now, social skills is our ability to network our ability to create deep, meaningful relationships and connections. Two other people. All right, let's dive into so clearly whether it's your personal life or your business or marketing life. Social skills. It's just a massive part of life, right? We're social creatures, and it's on Lee going to benefit you to increase and improve these skills. So the first thing we're going to talk about is active listening. And yes, we mentioned this twice before, but I cannot overstate how important active listening is is the very foundation for building meaningful relationships, right? It's the very foundation was showing that you care and to create something deeper than just a cold talk such as, Hey, how was your day? Great. Yours? Good. See you. Those aren't meaningful. Deep conversations are connections, so we're going to take it further, right? So active listening. It's just like we spoke about before. Instead of preparing what you're about to say next, truly listen to what the other person is saying. Then ask follow up questions based on what they said. This is active listening. If you haven't started practicing, it already. Start now. Start today. It can be a simple as you know, the person in the same room issue right now where you live with your friends, your family start truly listening and ask follow up questions. Based on that, this transforms relationships. This is this is a huge thing, I promise you. Active listening is the foundation for social skills. And then next up, we have areas off agreement, right? So we're going to meet people who has a different opinion than ours and simply that we're not going to agree with. However, there's always going to be certain areas where you do agree, and those areas are fantastic areas to actually get to connect with people right, because we always appreciate people who are similar to ourselves, and then you might be able to move on and start talking about the thing to disagree about. But in order to start off by building these meaningful connections and network start off by seeing where do you agree and find the similarities? All right, so areas off agreement. Find conversational areas where you are in agreement in order to connect as questions that allows them to talk about their interests and continue until you find an area to connect. Okay, so in order to find this area, simply use your active listening. And when you're using your active listening, ask follow up questions and dig Andy. And when you find that area to connect, you stay. Then you ask follow up questions based on that theme based on that topic, right? So a classical thing for many people, I think, is let's say that day they both share for the same football team. Well, then, football is a big deal for both of them. If you can connect from there, then you can start building out a more meaningful relationship just because you like the same football team. It sounds very silly, but it becomes your point off. Contact your area off agreement, and that's where you can start going even deeper and deeper, right? So areas off agreement now the third is cultural exposure, so talk to people who are very different from who you are. Stay curious and keep the focus on them. So this is basically like weight lifting for your social skills. It will train you to handle and enjoy. People were very different from you because here's the thing now, if you are from one country, you are going to expect a certain culture. You know what to say. You know what Not to say. You know what's appropriate. You know what's not appropriate, what languish, Use what words to use, what body language to use, right? It's all very automatic. But then when you meet other people from other countries, they have different values. Different cultures and things starts to clash. If you ever met people who travel a lot, you'll notice that piece are almost always people with fantastic social skills. That is because they practise their socials, gets all the time. They constantly need to adapt to different cultures and two different values. Whenever you're doing that is basically weightlifting for your social skills. So what I recommend that you do is seek out people who are from different cultures than you . It doesn't have to be someone who's from a different country. It can be someone who's just from far away from where you live, where you know that they speak differently where they have a different culture or if you are in a certain organization, speak to someone who's from a different organization because they have different cultures and values. Expose yourself for different cultures and learn from that. All you need to do is practice active listening. Get along with them and you're automatically training your social skills, right? So always practice on people who are very different from you. It's a fantastic way. And then finally, the fourth and final way. That is how you say it right? So it's more than just what you say. It's how you say so to understand how more than just what you're saying. Film yourself while speaking as if you were speaking to someone and see if it is delivered the way that you think it is. Practice until you're happy with the delivery. Now here's the interesting thing. About 87% off. All of our communication is non verbal. That means that about 87% of everything that you intend to say it's not your words, right? That is your body language. The way you move your hands, the way you hold yourself, the tone of voice. If you are a pair speaking, or if you're down here speaking all of these things, they deliver a certain feeling that delivers the message itself. Now, in order to properly understand how people see you film yourself when you're holding a presentation, we're just having a conversation and see. Are you really delivering? The message is for the feeling that you think you are. You might be surprised, but by filming yourself, you might see that you talk like this. You know, you maybe you don't move your mouth that much. Maybe there's not that much eye contact, but you could say, Hey, I'm sitting great things. You know, I'm a really interesting person, but it doesn't look or feel like I am interested in the other person, and that is a problem. So basically, this is self feedback. So, yes, this takes a little bit more effort, but it also has a much bigger reward than most other practices. So put up your filming camera. We're just your cellphone. Honestly, we all have cameras are Mobil's today? Film yourself just while you're talking, and then see a my delivering the feeling that I want to deliver that I think I'm delivering and if not, start to experiment in practice. You know, just move your hands a little bit more. Just put your chest up a little bit more. Maybe relax in your voice a little bit because what were tense. We were usually up here and talking, and that doesn't deliver a very safe feeling, doesn't it? So just review yourself by filming, and if you're happy, you're happy. Fantastic. Then you see other exercises. But then, see, is there something you want to change? Are you different from the way you thought you were very powerful? Exercise? All right, so let's summarize number one active listening. This is the very definition off great social skills number to find areas of agreement. That's the simplest way to start connecting with someone, no matter who they are. Three cultural exposure meet people who are different from you. This is weight lifting for your social skills because you'll learn to adapt and into interpret different values very quickly. And if you can start doing that on individuals later, you have just verily increased your social skills and for it's not what you say, it's how you say it right, So filling yourself, Review yourself. Are you delivering? The message is the way you think you're delivering it. If not practice, change it up until you are happy. All right. So there's going to be a template in the resource of for these, just like there will be for all of the extra decisive Do them and then decide which one fits you the best and stick with them. See you in the next lecture. 10. Exercise - Empathy: welcome back. So it's time to move on to the fourth step, and that is to do exercises to improve our empathy. So remember, self awareness is understanding our own emotions, how we feel, why we feel how it affects our behaviour, etcetera. Empathy is understanding other's emotions. Others behaviors what triggers them, why they act the way they act, etcetera. It is simply the other side off self awareness. It is awareness off others, right? So we're going to learn how to improve our empathy towards others. It is a key in improving our sales. It is a key in improving our relationships. Let's dive him. Needless to say, understanding and feeling other people's emotions are is great on so many levels. So if that doesn't come naturally to us, which is usually does in different degrees in different people, it is a trainable skill, and it is something that we want to increase because it's one off the primary definitions off emotional intelligence, right on one of the easiest ways toe activate this feeling where activate this understanding is but using a technique just known as walk in their shoes right, and it's simple when you're feeling on empathic about someone's behavior or experience. Imagine that very thing happening to you. How would you feel and how would you react? So let's say, for example, that you have a customer coming up to you and they're really angry, right? They just bought this product. There were, you know, they were gonna have a family evening enjoying this product, that it didn't work and ruin their evening. And now he's pissed up and he's taking that off at you, right? So you're getting his anger. So the first normal reaction is to be angry back. We get defensive, but instead, if we imagine ourselves being that person now imagine you just bought this nice product, right? And you are going to enjoy this product with your family. You know, is the product isn't working. Your family's disappointed. Your disappointed. It's just like we were gonna have such a great evening. You know, now maybe you can relate to this customer and the impacting about why the customer is angry or why the customer is sad. So this is going to change your state from being angry. That is very destructive state just something productive, such as understanding being empathic towards the other person. Now you can start relating, and you can start to truly help this other person, right? This customer, and this goes for anything. It could be your family. It could be your partner. It could be your friends walk in their shoes, whatever they're upset about, whatever happened to them. If you cannot relate to them how they feel over that, imagine yourself as a deeply ask you. Can having that happen to you? Now imagine the sides, the sounds, the touch, the smells to feel everything. Make those images in your mind really, really vivid, like you're truly there. This will activate your empathy. It's a very strong exercise, all right, walking in their shoes and next up. We have feel their feelings. So sometimes it's hard to be impacted when you know that you would react very different to a certain situation, right? So instead simply feel their feelings and remember what it's like to have the same intense motion as they do right? So sometimes, you know, let's take the same example. Let's say that the evening was ruined because of this product that you might think so. Just do something else and have fun with your family. Maybe you can't relate to that at all because you would react so differently. So then walking in their shoes wouldn't be quite as effective for you. But instead, if you could relate to the feeling off, angry related feeling of disappointment and thinking, How do I feel when I'm really disappointed? How do I feel when I'm really angry and then realized that? You know, it's It's a lot of suffering. I am very unreasonable and I don't really like myself when I am in that state. So now you can be empathic to the other person. I think maybe that person isn't really liking themselves being in that state, either. You can relate to that right? So now suddenly you can activate these feelings of empathy and understand that customer much more deeply. And you go from a destructive mode off anger and reacting back to productive mode off understanding, being impacting and being able to help that customer. And once again, this could be anything for any person in any situation. As long as there are emotions in bold and I don't know, a single person on this earth that doesn't have emotions involved, right? Very powerful exercise. So once again walk in their shoes, you're mashing the thing happening to you feel their feelings, your Onley feeling the feeling part right, different from the previous exercise. So the third is differences and similarities, right? So this is one of US exercises that's going to be training your empathy. So think of someone you are not empathic with. We all have those in our life. But it might have been that angry customer wants to get angry customers very easy to be un impact. They would, you know, now write down all of the things that you have in common and things that differs from you. There are different from you. Review the things that you have in common and then see, do you know relate differently to that person. Is it easier to feel empathy for that person? So let's say that you have a family member, for example, that you have a very hard time being impacted towards right. So you take the template that is included in this lecture that is a template for this very exercise, your right, that person's name, and then you write down everything that you have in common, and then you write down everything that is. There are differences between the two of you and then you review everything that you have in common, and then see if you can trigger that. Hey, we're quite similar. In many ways. This is a great way of practising your mind to trigger empathy and to realize that even though you're very different from other people, there are places where you are similar. So if you're similar there, you know that Hey, maybe that person has this feeling on this subject. That's well, maybe this person has this feeling that subject as well. Now we're starting to work and treat your empathy very powerful exercise, right? And the finally the fourth is called. Who, what, when, where? Why, and this is a very fun and very powerful exercise. So what you do, he said. You take an article from the newspaper. It could be anything but a newspaper is usually hand it. And instead of looking at the facts and the numbers that are in there, ask the following question. Who is the story about what happened in this story? When did it happen? Where did it happen. Why did it happen now? The exercise here? Yes, it takes a little bit more effort. But the exercise here is taking something that you cannot relate to. A pretty playing story, maybe something you don't care about and then putting a personality to it, you know, making it into a feeling event rather than a logic event. And then trigger your empathy. Because if you're just reading the fact that you're just reading a name, your problem not gonna feel that much. But if you really feel yourself being did and you increase the details of that story, then you can start sensing there's a human being in here and you're a human being yourself , and you know that you have feelings. So they have feeling you can start relating to them in a different way, and this is how we practice increasing and triggering our empathy. And the more would do this. The Eastern is everyday to have our empathy triggered and relate to other people, and it is such a powerful tool to have remember, you need to be self aware, but you also need to have empathy. Be aware of others, so they are two different size off the same coin by super important and sales super important in life. So let's recap. Number one is walking their shoes. This is a very common technique. Imagine whatever happened to them happening to you. Number two just feel their feelings. They walk in their shoes so psychotic, then just feel what they're feeling because you can relate to that feeling whatever it is you have surely had at some point in your life and then third differences and similarities . Sit down and do these exercises the focused exercise. Look at take a person that you're not empathic with right up everything that you have in common that air similarities right up Everything that's different between the two of you. Review what you have in common and then see if you can relate better to the differences into this person in general. Finally, the who what, When, where, Why take a story in the newspaper, turn it into detail emotional events rather than just reading a name. Fact the numbers. Now you have a human being with emotions that you can feel impacting two words. All right. It's time to move on to the final step in our emotional intelligence Maastricht, and that is doing exercises for motivation. I hope you're having is much fun if I am seeing the next lecture. 11. Exercise - Motivation: welcome back once again. So we're moving on to the fifth and final step in our emotional intelligence mastery, and we're going to start doing some exercises for motivation. This is a big one now. If you have been using the exercises and been doing them already, I strongly recommend that you do so. Doing the exercises is the key to actually increase our emotional intelligence. Don't skip out. I promise you you will love the results. But without further ado, let's time into motivation. So our motivation is Are driving factor right? It is understanding why we do what we do and moving towards something when we are moving towards something with determination, with motivation, we are much more productive with sell. More were more satisfying relationships. We have a lot more fun in life. Overall hardships become much easier to handle because you are motivated to stay on track and continue. Motivation is key in emotional intelligence because it regulates all off your emotions. It keeps you stable, happy, focused and productive. All right, so let's look at the first exercise we can do to improve our motivation, and that is goal setting right Then this one makes sense. So if you know what your goal is, you're gonna have a straight line and know where you're going. If you know where you're going, it's much easier to stay focused and stay on track and stay motivated to achieve that goal . So simply look at your to do list and write down clearly defined goals for each and every one of them. Set a date and hold yourself accountable and I'm talking about the real define herbal goals . I'm not talking about gold, such as, You know, I want to be happier tomorrow. How do you measure happiness? You need something that's clearly defined and measurable, right? So let's say that by the end of this week, I want to have sold 15 off the specific product, or I want to have worked 20 hours on this specific project, or I want to have reached 10,000 people in my marketing, etcetera, etcetera. Your goal could be anything. Just make sure that it's clearly defined and it's measurable, right? So we all have to do list whether you write them down or they're in your head. Now bring them from your head. Write them on the template. That's included in this lecture and then make it into your gold. Clearly define it. Set a date. Hold yourself accountable. All right. Now, the next thing is using a method called the Three Wise. And this is very powerful, especially when you feel your motivation go down. This is a fantastic way to bring it up. So the three Wise is whenever you feel yourself losing motivation, reconnect with your deeper sense and your deeper reasons off why you do what you do. Ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing and then ask yourself why and then ask yourself why once again. So let's take an example. Let's say that your motivation is to sell more of a specific item. So the first question is, Why do you want to sell more? Right? And you might say, Well, because I want to make more money. Okay, so then you ask yourself, Why do you want to make more money? And then you might say, Well, because I want to support my family and make sure that they have a really good time. And then you ask the third y and you ask, Well, why do you want your family to have a good time and have a nice things. And you might say, Well, because I feel at my best when I know that my family has the best. All right, so you know that you feel at your very best when you can provide the very best for your family. So if you know that improving your sales is going to be the way for you to feel the best you can because you are going to make your family happier and have a better life, that's a very strong reason. That's a very strong and motivating why. So instead of just going to work or doing your basis through whatever you're doing and thinking, I need to do this well, because I need to do this or I need to sell more because they need more money. Why do you need more money? Well, maybe I want to travel. Why do I want to travel? Because I want to meet more people. Why don't want to meet more people? Because I want to be exposed to new cultures. I love different cultures. Ask the three wise go into the death of why you do what you do on your motivation will jump up again. Or you might find that. Hey, I don't actually know what I'm doing this. Then stop doing that and move on to something different, more productive. And that gives you a bigger reason to do the things you love and keeps you productive and happy in life. Right? Three. Wise, Very powerful. Third, we have gratitude list. So gratitude, Elise. This is an old technique, right? So gratefulness is a powerful and motivating state to be in. Write down 10 things that you are grateful for. Review that and connect with that emotion off gratitude. There's a template in this lecture. What I want you to do is write down 10 of beings. If you're grateful for, they can be anything they can be. I'm grateful that I get to wake up and I have another day to live. It sounds silly, but we take that for granted. That's powerful. I'm grateful that I have such an amazing family that I have such an amazing friend, that I love my work, that I get to do my hobby, that the sun is shining. It could be whatever just feel that list up with 10 things review them. Feel that gratitude in your body because that state that emotion it's a motivating factor in itself is going to change. Your mindset is going to change the state you are in, and that makes everything in life easier with everything. We're definitely referring to motivation. It will keep you happy, and therefore it will keep you motivated. All right, Gratitude, least very powerful. Finally, we have physical exercise. Yes, I used to work as a personal trainer typical of me to recommend physical exercise. But this is beyond just help. Now, physical exercise has a way of changing your hormones, right, So you're going to get a hormone called endorphins and those endorphins when you have exercised, they rushed through your body. You get all happy and giggling. You get a really stable, happy state of being at the verily happier than than what you were before. And that is a way to keep your motivation up, because motivation is also based in part having more positive than negative feelings where at least hoping for more positive than negative feelings. So by using physical exercise, we can bring our motivations up like that. So it's very simple. If we want to have a higher baseline of motivation, exercising is a fantastic way to get there. Get into the habit off exercising at least three times per week. I promise you, this is so powerful you might love it in the beginning. If you're not exercising right now, but you give it a month, you will feel great. And this is not only a practice because actually exercising that is a practice in motivation because just stick to the happen. But the actual exercising itself will change the baseline hormonal levels. It will make you feel good. That will keep your motivations up. I promise you. Every time I had customers and I met with people when they were given a little bit of time to exercise, they felt better. They felt motivated. Just makes us feel great. It's a fantastic way to increase and keep our motivation high. All right, let's recap. So we have, first of all, gold setting, understanding where we're going. It's a fantastic way to stay motivated so we can just keep on that path. Second, we have the three Wise. If your motivation ever dips, ask yourself why you do what you do. And then why you want that? And then why you want that? And you are probably going to be very happy with that answer is going to bring up your motivation. It doesn't. You need to review what you're actually doing with your life, right? And then third, the gratitude list. Write down 10 things that you're grateful for. Its gonna bring up your motivation. Make your field. Grace is a powerful state that we're putting ourselves in and finally, physical exercise. It's a way to bring up your baseline off motivation high, and it makes everything much easier. I promise you, it increases your energy increases. Your motivation is a fantastic, well done making it this far. We've now moved through the five different steps. There is one more lecture, a bonus that I have added in this course, and I really think that you're gonna benefit from it. I'm excited to present it to you. So before we wrap things up, let's move on to the next lecture. Look at that bonus and see how you can kind of short cut and increase your emotional intelligence very quickly. Very effectively. See in the next lecture 12. Bonus - EQ Hack: welcome back. So I wanted to throw in this emotional intelligence hacking here because this is probably the most powerful thing that you can do to have the biggest result in the shortest time possible that you can start doing right away. Chances are most of you aren't doing this already, so this is more off a fixed. That's going to be a massive, massive boost for you. Let's dive into it. So it might surprise you to know that the most effective thing that we can do to improve our emotional intelligence the fastest way is to increase our r e m sleep on what is that? That it's a rapid eye movement, right? That is the last part of your sleep cycle where we started dreaming. So we need to understand that emotions is something internal. It happens inside of us. Even when we are impacted towards and feeling other people's feeling. We're still feeling those feelings inside of us. Every single feeling that exists are in here. External events can trigger them, but it's all in here, so that also means that, but we're using techniques and we're doing exercises to improve our emotional intelligence . We are improving our bodies capacity to regulate our hormones, our brain's capacity to understand other people, to interpret things the way that we want them to be. Interpret that it is all an internal process, right? So knowing that our emotional intelligence comes from inside, we also know that we need to have a very stable inside in order to have a high level of emotional intelligence. Right R E m. Sleep is what activates and regulates. And basically, it's the complete creator off your emotional intelligence. If we had no ram sleep, chances are we wouldn't be having any emotional intelligence whatsoever. Now let me show you where the hack in all of these lies. So if we look at a normal sleep cycle, it looks like this. It looks complicated. Don't worry about it. The only thing we need to know that the yellow areas they are are are am sleep. And we know that our r e m sleep, rapid eye movement, sleep, that is, when our emotional intelligence is created, it's managed and it's improved. So all of these yellow parts are our emotional intelligence, right? They are our capacity to be emotionally intelligent. So here's the interesting thing, right? We can see that the majority off the emotional intelligence is on the far right off this chart. So, looking down here, we can see that it says time, hours down below here. And we can see that between six and eight hours 60 to 90% off all of our REM sleep recites . That is very interesting because that means that if you're sleeping six hours every night, you are potentially losing as much as 90% off all of your rams lead. And if you know that your reb sleep is the basis and the foundation for your emotional intelligence, the foundation for your brain to process your emotions to process your emotional intelligence, you're missing out. You're missing out a lot. Even if you feel good about sleeping seven hours, you're potentially missing out up towards 50% off All potential emotional intelligence, stupid. Could be getting for free just like this. At the very least, that is your potential for more emotional intelligence. So what does this mean? Well, that means that unless you're sleeping eight hours, you are severely missing up, right? So that means if you're not sleeping eight hours, you are missing out on this massive piece off emotional intelligence anywhere between 60 to 90% of all your emotional intelligence, right? So that means if you're only sleeping six or seven hours, you're not missing out one or two hours of sleep. No, it doesn't work like that. You're missing out between 60 to 90% off all your REM sleep that is responsible for your emotional intelligence. So the great news here is that if you improve your sleep, if you can get those solid eight hours off leap, you will have such a massive, massive boost. Your emotional intelligence, you will not believe it. It is the very foundation. Whenever I speak about this subject, I always asked, How much are you sleeping? How many hours are you getting per night? All right, So if you're already sleeping eight hours and just want to say congratulations, you got the basis. But if you're not sleeping eight hours, realize that you are short circuiting yourself. You're not setting yourself up for the max potential off properly developing your emotional intelligence. Just one more hour of sleep could potentially give you up towards 50% more results, right? Don't skip out on this. I just wanted to add this. It is a hack. Yes, but all I'm saying is, sleep your eight hours, it will do one or not just for your life. Sleep improves everything, but especially for your emotional intelligence. All right, see, in the next lecture. 13. Thank You!: now, First of all, a very warm and heartfelt thank you from me and from Jesper to you for taking this course. Now we hope you've had Justus much fun going through the course as we have had creating it . All right, So before we leave you so final words first of all, all of these different steps in the emotional intelligence Maastricht they build upon each other, right? So self awareness is the foundation, but you cannot have self regulation without having self awareness. Similarly, you cannot have proper social skills without having proper self regulation. You cannot have proper empathy without having social skills. And your motivation is based on understanding yourself properly and understanding others. That is the basis for motivation and also the key in success in emotional intelligence and in this course is using the templates provided and doing the exercises. Stay consistent. Remember, just because you do want her to work out, it's not going to change your receipt, but working out over time. It can change your entire appearance and life. Emotional intelligence is the very same way you need to stay consistent, do your exercises and continue improving and finally off course. make sure that you sleep. Your eight hours makes a huge difference. Once again. Thank you so much for me and Jesper. We had a blast. Hope you did. And we'll see you around. Bye bye.