Double Your Social Skills & Communication Skills | Alain Wolf | Skillshare

Double Your Social Skills & Communication Skills

Alain Wolf, Social Skills Consultant

Double Your Social Skills & Communication Skills

Alain Wolf, Social Skills Consultant

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41 Lessons (3h 26m)
    • 1. Welcome + What You Will Learn

      2:23
    • 2. Day 1: Remove The Fear Of Approaching People

      11:46
    • 3. Day 2: How To Approach Anyone

      10:03
    • 4. Day 3: Wining Mindset For Social Success

      6:36
    • 5. Day 4: Be Liked Even Before You Approach

      7:36
    • 6. Day 5: Join Group Conversations

      5:24
    • 7. Day 6: What To Say In Social Interactions

      12:00
    • 8. Day 7: Never Running Out Of Things To Say

      7:02
    • 9. Day 8: Connecting With People Fast

      7:56
    • 10. Day 9: Attractive Social Energy

      3:58
    • 11. Day 10: Leaving A Conversation Politely

      2:53
    • 12. Day 11: Confidence In Social Interactions

      6:39
    • 13. Day 12: Being Comfortable Socially

      6:23
    • 14. Day 13: Love Yourself

      5:30
    • 15. Day 14: What People Think Of You

      6:47
    • 16. Day 15: Stop Being Shy Socially

      5:07
    • 17. Day 16: Positive Body Language

      5:10
    • 18. Day 17: Confident Body Language

      2:21
    • 19. Day 18: Eye Contact

      6:38
    • 20. Day 19: Smiling

      3:27
    • 21. Day 20: Magnetic Presence

      5:05
    • 22. Day 21: Most Interesting Person In The Room

      4:34
    • 23. Day 22: Make People Like You

      5:26
    • 24. Day 23: Positive Expectancy

      3:13
    • 25. Day 24: Energy Exchange

      2:13
    • 26. Day 25: Befriend The Leader

      3:09
    • 27. Day 26: Visualization For Social Success

      3:26
    • 28. Day 27: Talkative Mood

      2:09
    • 29. Day 28: Fear Of failure & Fear Of Rejection

      6:49
    • 30. Day 29: Surround Yourself With Good People

      3:45
    • 31. Day 30: Influence More People

      4:58
    • 32. Day 31: Remember The Names

      2:27
    • 33. Day 32: the Power Of Social Empathy

      3:10
    • 34. Day 33: Your Voice

      3:58
    • 35. Day 34: Be More Assertive

      5:06
    • 36. Day 35: Learn To Say No

      4:48
    • 37. Day 36: Your Last Impression

      2:15
    • 38. Day 37: Your Social Cheerleader

      4:16
    • 39. Day 38: Be A Better Leader

      3:51
    • 40. Day 39: Remember Your Greatness

      3:32
    • 41. Day 40: Your Ultimate Challenge

      2:22
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About This Class

Trying To Talk To People Can Be So Stressful - How Do We Know What To Say?

Most of us ramble, wonder what the right thing to say is, run out of things to say, don't know how to start a conversation with someone

Let me ask you 5 questions:

  • Do you want to be more confident & comfortable when you interact with people?
  • Do you want to learn the art of approaching anyone & becoming unforgettable?
  • Do you want to make new friends you can really connect with?
  • Do you want to be more charimsatic & be the most interesting person in the room?
  • Do you want to learn the art of having great interactions with people consitently?

You Will Learn The Art Of Approaching Anyone & Having Great Interactions Instantly

Your social skills will really impact the quality of your personal life and professional life. Experts say that socialskills & communication skills are the most important skill to master if you want to connect with people & have quality interactions with other people.

Can I learn social skills?

Everyone can learn social skills. It is like playing sports. You can hire a coach and he will help you to develop yourskills. Everyone can become socially successful as long as they have the best advices. My style is direct, to the point, no fluff and I only share what works & will give you the results you want fast. Obama learnt social skills, shy people learn social skills everyday. Why can't you?

Who is this course for?

This course is for people who would like to develop better social skills & become socially successful. If you aresocially shy, I'll go over the basics so you can improve your social skills. If you already have good social skills, I'll share many advanced concepts & techniques so you can develop even more extraordinary social skills.

What will I learn in this course?

You will learn how to start any interaction, exactly what to say, how to never run out of things to say, how to remove your fear of approaching, how to connect with people, how to make friends, how to be confident & comfortable in social interactions, how to be the most interesting person in the room & so much more!

Meet Your Teacher

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Alain Wolf

Social Skills Consultant

Teacher

 

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Alain Wolf is an award-winning en... See full profile

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Transcripts

1. Welcome + What You Will Learn: Hi, my name is Anna. I'm a social skills consultant and I've already helped more than 200 thousand people all around the world to develop better social skills. Now, let me ask you some questions. Do you want to develop amazing social skills? You want to be able to connect with anyone anywhere. Would you like to make an amazing first impression with people around you? In other words, would you like to have all the social skills that you would ever need? It can be in your personal or professional life. Imagine that you could be confident and comfortable in any social situation. How would that improve your life? We all have challenges talking to people and sometimes a lack of social skills can need to really stressful and uncomfortable moments. We have all been there. That's why I created this complete course that contains all the social skills that you would ever need it, you will never again feel uncomfortable or stressed socially, you will be able to make an amazing first impression with everyone around you. You will learn how to have great interactions with anyone that you meet. And you will learn how to connect with people and headed up with everyone. You will also become confident and comfortable in any social situation. And you will be removing everything that is holding you back socially. And so much more. Some people will ask me, Alan, can I improve my social skills? And the answer is yes. It's not something that you are born with. It's something that you can develop over time. It's like pains policy. The more you play, the better you get at it so everyone can develop better social skills is discourse for you? Yes, because if you don't have a lot of social skills, I will go over the basics. And if you already have great social skills, I will share with you the most advanced techniques so that you can really take your social skip to the next level and get an edge of other people. So by taking this course, you really improve your social skills. Why should you learn from me? Because I spent the last 15 years interviewing the world's best experts on communication skills, on social skills. I've read hundreds of books, attended seminars, all I want the word, but most importantly, I transform myself. And then my friends saw this transformation. They asked me advice and then it quickly escalated to more than 200 thousand people that have coached and a health all around the world. And if it has worked for 200 thousand people, it can also work for you. So go ahead and take action, enroll in this course, and let's start your transformation. Let's start giving you amazing social skills and communication skills. See you on the other side. 2. Day 1: Remove The Fear Of Approaching People: Let's start here with the fear of our protein people. We have all been there. We wanted to approach that new person. You wanted to start that interaction. And we were not able because we have the sphere in our valley. We had this fear of approaching people. We have all been there. And it's a fear that is natural. But now there is a difference between people who have high social skills and the others. They all experienced this fear of approaching. But people who have high social skills, they have learned how to deal with that. Because if you learn how to decrease the sphere of approaching, next time that you want to approach someone, you are able to do it. So that's what I want to share with you here in this video, is for ways to decrease your fear of approaching. But before, let's discuss where it comes from. So let's imagine little Allen was in a tribe and its Tau. Then thousands of years ago, it was in a tribe. And in order to survive, he had to be in that group because he would get food, she would get protection. He would get like everything he needs not to die. But what would happen if little Allen would be rejected? What will happen? Basically, he would die because at that day, rejection meant death. And at the day it was correct. It means that you are rejected. You had chances to die. And nowadays, when you want to approach that new person, you still have that ingrained in our brain. We still have that, okay. If I get rejected, I can die. And I know it's silly. We have this powerful computer year, but it's still ingrained. Rejection can mean death. And that's why the sphere is so strong when you want to approach someone and you have this negative feelings or Oh my god, no, I cannot approach. It's because of that. So I want to share a video here for ways to that you can decrease this fear of approaching way number one approach as soon as possible. The more you wait to approach someone, the more dysphagia offer Pucci will build up in your body. Have you ever been in a situation like you wanted to approach that person and you wasted and you wait and you waited and it was worse. It like the feel of our poaching was there and was building. That's why it's important. When you have the intention of approaching someone, you go right away. You go in less than three seconds. Because that way your body doesn't have time to generate this fear of approaching your hack, your body. And I know some people will say, Oh, I'm afraid to approach. I'm afraid to go right away because then I don't know what to say. We will see later in the discourse, it's the most complete course you will find on social skills. So I will show you later, you, I just want to show you that you can approach people and how it can decrease this fear of approaching TO YOU approach as soon as possible. Now what happens if you have the intention of approaching someone and you don't approach. That happens. What do you do? In that case? You just change your intention. You change your focus. It means that okay. I want to approach that person. Oh my God, I'm too afraid to approach. I'm just going to take my phone, read some texts, or talk to a friend, have a beer, do something else basically changed my focus. And when I changed my focus, my fear of approaching will decrease. And then when my fear of approaching has decreased, I will then okay. Look at the person I want to approach and say, Okay, I have the intention and I will go right away. So number one, approach as soon as possible. Number to think in terms of benefits. What do most people do? They want to approach someone? And then the start telling themselves, oh, I can get rejected, that can go wrong. Bla, bla, bla. And then they list all these negative things that can happen. And instead of focusing on everything that could go wrong, you can focus on everything that could go well, let's illustrate that. Let's say that there is a house on fire and it's on the other side of the street. So the house is on fire. And then I say, Okay, you can go in the house. And the there is five bucks. If you can get them, you can keep them. Would you try? And most people would say no. If you're if you're, if you're normally say though, I'm not going to risk it. And now I say there is a briefcase with $5 million in it. If you can go there and you can grab the briefcase that is inside his house on fire. You can keep it. And there are more people who say, Oh, I would be willing to take action. And it's really interesting because when I asked this question at my life events, when there is the five-box, either I have like 99 percent of people who say no, and when I have the $5 million, I have a 70 to 80 percent of people who try. So what has changed here? The house is still on fire, like it's the same house on fire. But the benefits have changed. So that's why when you want to approach someone and you are afraid, don't focus like on everything that could go wrong. Focus on everything that you could gain on all the benefits. So there are two ways to do it. The first way is to do that before going to the social event. For example, you have a networking events, we have a presentation, have anything social in your car or at home. You take a piece of paper and you say, okay, what are the benefits of taking action? What are the benefits of me approaching? What are the benefits of me giving the best presentation that I can? And you focus on all the benefits. This the first way and the second one. Just before approaching. So on. You have the sphere that is there. It will just make a mental list of all the benefits that you could gain by approaching. Let's say that I go to a bar and I want to approach a woman tonight. And I'm afraid I see, okay, what are the benefits of approaching 0? I can give her a good time. I can maybe find a wife, I can find a girlfriend. I can make her laugh. And I list all the benefits so that my brain see all the benefits to approaching someone. This was technique number two. You make a list of all the amenities, all the benefits, and you focus on the benefits instead of everything that could go wrong. Number three. You approach the first-person in the new environment Back in the days thousands and thousands of years ago. Let's say that I wanted to approach a new tribe. Had no idea if it was safe. It means that I could go there, I could approach that new tribe and a caveman could hit me with Iraq, had had no idea. I don't know if it's safe. I like it. I didn't know. And it's still ingrained in our brain. We still have 0. We have this fear of approaching people because if you approach a new tribe, we don't know if a caveman can destroy our head with a rock. And it's, I know it's silly, but it's still there. That's why when you enter a new environment and social environment, you must show proof to your brain and that it's safe to approach this environment. So you go to a bar, you can approach the first pass and, and ask a simple question or say, Hi, how is your night going? You go to a social event, to anything you ever presentation to give. Start talking to the person before giving the presentation. So that it shows your brain that you are able, like it's safe to approach that person and you're able to do that without consequences for your life. So I did that many and many years ago when I was at university. I had this fear and then I had this v. I had to give a presentation in front of 400 people. And I was afraid, I had this fear that I said, oh, I'm going to use what I teach. So I raised my hand and I asked a simple question before the presentation and ask a simple question. And like all the students turned and I asked my questions was a basic question. And the professor answer the question. And what happened in my body was incredible. Like the stress level decreased because I knew it was okay to speak up to be loud in that environment. And then I gave my presentation. And it was better because there was less afraid. So don't hesitate to to really talk to, to the first-person that you see to just warm up in a new environment. And you will see that if you do that, it will decrease your fear of approaching. And if you want to go to a new environment to talk to that person there, don't start with that person warm-up with other people on the side, I would say, to decrease your fear of approaching. And number 4, make fun of it. What do most people do? They take it seriously, say, Oh my God, I have this fear of approaching people are no. Now don't take it seriously. So I have named my fear Carlos. So Carlos, if I represent it as an old man, that is like fucked up, destroyed, that is really weak. And I I picture That's like Carlos, he's always on my shoulder, you know, like he's he's weak and he's there because it's a part of me and I have to take care of it because it's a part of me. And every time I go to an interaction and then I start getting this fear of approaching as hey, Carlos, No, you're not, you're not going to make things happen like you are old and weak and I laugh at him. I laugh at Carlos, that is my fear of approaching and that is on my shoulder. And I make fun of it. It's the same thing. If you have a five-year-old child that tells you something, I'm going to take it seriously or not? No, you're not because it's the five-years old child. So that works really, really well. So these are here, the four techniques that, that works really well. And to make them work, It's really important that you accept the fear. It means that when you will be in that social situation and you will have these social fear, this fear of approaching. Don't resist it. Because if you say, Oh, I don't have any fears is going to build up. What you want to do instead is say, Oh, yeah, I accept, I have this fear. I accept. Don't like don't resist a few accepted fear because when you accept the fear that you can decrease it. So here are the four techniques. Number one, you approach as soon as possible, you think in terms of benefits, you approach the first button that you see in a new environment and you make fun of it. And you accept the few when it's there, you accept that you can decrease it. So your mission is to approach one person and use one of the four techniques here. And you will see to make a difference. And then you can use another one. You can combine many of them and you will see, you will make a habit of applying these techniques in social environments. And then you will become highly socially successful because you have all these habits in place. And when you will see that, that person that you truly want to approach, you will know how to do it. You will be able to approach it and you will become a big social success. 3. Day 2: How To Approach Anyone: So now let's discuss how to approach anyone. I get so many people who tell me and I want to approach that person in that bar. I wanted to approach added net that this networking event. I want to approach that person at the social setting, but I don't know what to say, I don't know how to approach it. So in this section here, I want to show you three ways that you can approach anyone anywhere. But first, I would like to tell you something. The words are not that important. Because between intercommunication between two human beings, words are only 7% and the other 93 percent nonverbal. It means that it's your posture, your tone of voice, your body language, the energy that you have, all these 93 percent are non-verbal and most people focus too much on Oh, what do I have to say to approach someone? And they only focus on the 7%. So you can see here, instead of asking yourself, what, what can I see? You should ask yourself, what should I feel? What are the emotions I should feel before approaching someone? Because if you've take care of your emotions and you are in a good mood, it, you have a great vibe. You will be able to master the 93 percent. But as you have to say something, which is like the 7%, we are going to discuss three ways that you can approach anyone. Before that, I would like just to illustrate that. What does it mean to approach someone and it's not something that, oh my God, it's super important, like super intense. Now, I would like to see the approaching someone as starting the car in the morning. When you stop the car, what did you do it do you stop the Casio? Have my God, have to stop there. Oh, my God. Now, what do you do? You put the key, you turn, and then you, and then you start the car. It simple then you have to drive. Drive means here, you have to lead the conversation, but starting the interaction is just starting the car. You put the key and then you start the car. I would like you to see the starting an interaction with someone, like starting the car. You just have to start the interaction, say something, say a word, and then it starts the interaction. And don't over complicated. Okay, so what are the three ways? Number one that I really love is that you can complement someone. Now be careful with that. The complement has to be genuine. It means that you don't want to say a compliment. Just like to make an impression on the other person. It has to be something that you truly want. Because I'm sure that you have already been already been in a situation where someone gave you a compliment and you felt that it was not genuine and say, Oh, basically it's backfired. Okay, so we don't want to do that. We want to complement someone when we approach them. So there are many ways to do that. You can compliment them on. There. Behavior or personality, or you can compliment them on their looks. Let's discuss the first one. You can compliment them on their behavior. What you should do is observe the positive behavior that people have. And then it's super easy because then you can approach, say, Hey, my name is Alan. I just wanted to say I just wanted to say hi because you look friendly. Hi, my name is Alan. I just wanted to say hi because you look up and minded. They Hi, my name is Alan. I just wanted to say hi because you are in a great mood. And when he compliments people on their personality or on the behavior that the head, it works really, really well. Because if someone approached you and say, Hey, I just wanted to say hi, My name is Mark. I wanted to say hi because you look friendly. You have higher chances of acting as someone friendly towards the other person. So you are framing the person as someone friendly and it's something that works all the time. So one of my default ways to open and say, Hey, my name is Alan. I just wanted to say hi because you look friendly. And then the person Oh my God, Wow, thank you. And then the person is more warm towards you and accept you better. So that works really, really well, like you tried to read the positive behavior. The person is smiling. Say Hey, I just wanted to say hi because you are smiling, because you're in a great mood, because you have a great energy about you. You know, like you compliments someone on the behavior of the personality. Now, it's important to read the positive traits. Dance for, for example, if the person is depressed, is crying, they'll say, Hey, I just wanted to say hi because you are sad. No. It's better to use this one here when it's a positive behavior and have this one here. Hi, my name is blablabla. I just wanted to say hi because you look friendly, open-minded, and so on. Then you can also complement people on their looks. This one here is more in a seduction setting. I wouldn't use that at work or in a professional environment. You can and you could, but yet it, you have to use your own judgment, okay, So it's important. What can you do? Hi, my name is blah, blah, blah. And then you give a compliment. For example, say Hey, Hey, my name is Alan. I just wanted to tell you that I really like the color of your dress because it matches your eyes. Or you approach the hay. My name is Alan. I really like your bracelets because it matches you dress. Hey, my name is Emily. I just wanted to say hi. And by the way, I really like your shirt. Just a complement. The more specific you can be, the better it is. Because if you give a complement that is really specific, what will, what will happen that the person will really think that you are giving them, that you are giving the compliment to them only. You are not saying that to everyone in the social environments. So try to be as precise as you can with the compliment, and that works really, really well. Number 2, you can simply introduce yourself. Hi, my name is Alan. Hi, my name is blah, blah, blah. And by the law of reciprocity, the person say, Hey, my name is, and then you can shake hands. You shake hands, you have a firmer handshake. You shake hands. You look the person in the eyes. You smile. Hi, my name is Alan. And then the person say, Hey, my name is Mark. It's super easy. And no matter how you feel, you can always use that. If you Assad, you're not in a great mood, you can approach them and say, Hey, my name is blablabla and it's a way that I use all the time if I don't know how to approach someone, I'm just going to go there and introduce myself. Because remember, it's all about starting the car. Number 3. You can ask a basic question. Any question you go is just starting the interaction. So you could ask a question, you can say anything. You could ask a question about something that is pacing. You could ask questions about the environment that you are in, about what the person is wearing, about something that you'd like to know, like an opinion or anything. You could ask the question about when is the next conference? If they have great food here, when does displaced close? Anything like the question doesn't really matter. And even if you already have the answer, remember, it's about starting the car. You go when you go out and interact with people starting cars, that's your job. You start cars. So by asking this basic question here, you can start the car and then we'll see later what to say. But here I just wanted to tell you here, ask a basic question. If the person the person is wearing something original or something that you say, Oh, I want to know more about that piece of cloth, or I want to ask a question, or I want to know if there is a great restaurant nearby, nearby where we can buy sushi. I like anything. And this is a great way because it's more indirect. It means that the other one, when you go and you compliments someone and you introduce yourself is more like direct. But if you want a more indirect way and you have something to talk about, it can be a lot about asking a basic question and don't over complicate that. And really like if you have three ways here, three powerful ways, the most powerful ways to approach anyone anywhere. So your mission is to write the ulna sentences according to the three ways here. Because I don't want to show you exactly what to say. And then you just take my own words and then you apply them because it won't sound authentic. Instead of like you to take a piece of paper and you say, Okay, compliment someone introduced myself as a question. And then you just say, okay, I want to approximate at a networking event at that bar there, there, there. What what kind of compliments could I give? Okay. How would I introduce myself? What would I say? Okay, what questions could I ask? Because then if you train your brain to do that next time that you go and you, i, in that environment, it's really easy for you to approach because you will have questions, you will have sentences according to who you are. And you will be able to approach people. 4. Day 3: Wining Mindset For Social Success: So now let's discuss the winning mindset for social success. The mindset that you have about people will impact the quality of your relationships and your interactions. If you had a bad mindset about people, if you think that people are bad and people are Egypt's, what's going to happen is that you will have this weird vibe. That you think that people are bad. They are Egypt, they are stupid. And when you will be interacting with someone, this person will sense that you have something negative. And a rule that is really important in social interaction is that whatever you feel, the other person feels, and whatever is in your mind here, the person can perceive it. So if you think that people are bad and stupid, you will be looking for cues in the other person's behavior so that you can validate your belief of, oh, people are stupid and people are idiots. So you'll be interpreting the other person's behavior as stupid as idiots. So we have here a really powerful computer. But whatever you think, whatever your beliefs are, you are going to look for cues that are going to validate the belief that you have. So if you are always thinking that people are bad and Egypt's, you are only going to connect with these kinds of people. So the mindset that you have is important. If you want to connect with more positive people, have a more positive mindset. So instead of thinking that people are bad and idiots, you can think that people are good and friendly. Because if you have o people are good and friendly, you will have a more positive vibe and you will be looking for behavior on the other person that validates the belief that people are good and friendly, you will be looking at the glass half full instead of half empty. And that will really help you connect with the people that you truly want. So the mindset that you have is super, super important. So an exercise that I encourage you to do is to take a piece of paper and you write down, people are, people are, and then what comes up? People are stupid people. I mean, people are awesome, people are friendly, whatever comes up. Then when you have a list of things, you are going just to analyze. Is it positive or is it negative? Is it serving me? Like if I only have like negative things, is it serving me to approaching people? Most, most of the time it's not because you want to have a more positive mindset so that you can connect with the great people, the people who are more positive and who give value like, you know, like the socialist successful people. So you can increase your mindset. Now some people say, oh, no Allen, I prefer to say that people are bad so that it protects me. I understand that. Not everyone is good. I get it. But it's better to start with. Okay. Everyone is good and friendly and be careful, you know what I mean? But you think that people are good and friendly rather than thinking, oh, everyone is, is bad and Egypt's, it's better to have a more positive mindset. So try to increase the positive mindset that you have and make it even more positive. On top of that, you can add, everyone on earth can teach me something. When you interact with them on the excited about the other person. Be excited about meeting that new person and maybe that person can teach you something. You never know what's going to happen. If, even if it's like it's in business, in your personal life, professional life, at home, at work like no matter what it is, you never know. And an example with that was 15 years ago. I met someone on the streets were like We were eating a salad. We were like sitting on the bench and there was a woman next to me. We're eating a salad. And then we started talking. And she told me that she lives in Fabriano police in Brazil. And I asked a lot of questions about about her, about her, she leaves. She told me like it was amazing. It's like it's like paradise with a beaches and everything. And I just exchanged phone numbers. And 10 years later I said, Oh, maybe you want to live in Brazil. So I wanted to move to Brazil to live there. And I, I asked people around me and they said, Oh, go to Fourier anomaly is the best place, it's safe, it's amazing. So I contacted this woman again and then she showed me around. I moved to Brazil to free Annapolis, and I stayed there for six months. And she showed me around. But I had no idea, like this woman eating a salad next to me on the streets. That she would then teach me something, give me that much value. So you never know when you interact with people, be excited about discovering the other, the other people. And then you will see like when you build a network, then you have a lot of things that will come your way and that will help you improve the quality of your life. Another great advice to improve your mindset is to have a value giving mentality. You don't want to take value from the other people. You want to give value. So how can you do that? You can do that verbally and non-verbally. Verbally would be, you will give an advice, sharing information, share some tips. You will tell a joke, something verbally that will increase the quality of the life of the other person. Verbally. It's easy. You told Sharon advice. You say something. And non-verbally would be about sharing great emotions with the other person. And I'm going to show you later in this course how you can manage your emotions to be a really positive in a great mood when you interact with people and how we can share that positivity with other people. I'm going to show you that later. But here I just want to show you that you can share value with people, with the things that you say, and also with the energy and the vibe that you have and that will impact the other people. So if you say, Oh, people are good and friendly, on top of that, everyone on earth can teach me something. And on top of that, you have a value giving mentality. You are going to become a big success. 5. Day 4: Be Liked Even Before You Approach: Do you want to be liked even before you approach someone? Most people think that it starts when they start the interaction with someone. But no, it starts before that. Because the posture that you have before approaching the emotions that you have, the mindset that you have, the body language that you have, the energy that you have before approaching someone will impact the quality of the relationship. As I said before, 7% our awards and 93 percent are nonverbal. So before approaching someone, you want to take care of your emotions because whatever you feel, the other person feels. So before approaching someone, you want to be in a great mood, in a great positive and confident mood. Because if you do that, all your nonverbal will adapt to match these emotions. So how can you do it? How can you be in that create mood? Because let's say that you are stressed, you are negative, you are, you are not in that great would like, how can you do it? You change what you focus on. So for example, you want to approach someone or you are in the social setting and you're a little bit stressed, you're not feeling that well. What you can do is just remember a time when you were happy. Remember a positive memory. Remember great memory. Something that made you smile. Change your focus and put it on something that increases your energy level, something positive. So our networking events, you don't feel that great and you want to approach people and you remember whatever you feel the other person feels. Just close your eyes for a few seconds and remember that that's memory that you had with your best friend that made you smile. Remember something that made you smile and put a smile on your face. And by focusing on something happy, you are going to feel the emotions of happiness. And when you feel the emotion of happiness in your body, it can be in your belly. You just amplified, you amplify it, and then it will amplify your emotion. Because emotions are energy, it means that emotions are felt with what you focus on. If you focus on something that makes you stress, you are going to feel stress. If you focus on something that makes you sad, you are going to feel sadness. So if you want to be in a positive mood, focus on something positive that works really, really well. So you can do that in the environment. And you can also do that at home. The more you train your body to go from whatever state you are in to a positive state. The more you do it, the easier it is. So you could be at home sitting in front of your computer watching this video here. You pause the video and for three seconds, you just. Remember something happy. And I did that yesterday. I was preparing this this on a training and I drove to a place and I was like, not the great Muda, our style that was not in a great mood and I had been preparing this awning training all day. So like I was like really work mode and I had to go to a social events to meet some people that are really important. And I wasn't the currency. Oh, this, let's just wait here a few seconds. I stopped the car. I close my eyes and I just remembered a happy memory. I felt that emotion, my belly, and I expanded it. And then I arrived at the social setting, super-happy. And it's easy if you understand that whatever you focus on, you feel. So change your vibe, change your emotions by focusing on something positive. Instead of looking at everything that could go wrong, look at everything that could go right and have a memory that you can focus on. And that will give you a smile to put a smile on your face. On top of that. If you want to have people that like you before you approach, I would like you to have positive expectations. You don't think that everything is going to go wrong and you usually make a list of everything that could go wrong. I would like you to be confident in the future, confident that you will be able to interact with people. I would like you to have positive expectations. You expect the interaction going well. And it's what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think that interactions will go well, it has higher chances of going well. Now some people will say, Allan, I don't want you to picture it going well because I can be disappointed. I prefer to just imagine that it will go bad. And then if it goes bad, I'm I won't be disappointed. Yes. There are more chances of it going bad if you think that the interaction will go bad. So whatever you think about interaction has higher chances of happening. That's why it's better to arrive with a positive mindset, with positive expectations. And you imagine that it's going to go well. And you can do that a few seconds before approaching. You just imagine in your head that you're going to approach and it's going to go well, or you can do that at home. You just picture say, Oh, I'm going to go to that event tonight, to that networking event. Okay. I'm just close I'm going to close my eyes and picture it going well, I'm picturing it. I'm approaching people. They are laughing because we want to build the confidence in our brain. We want to be excited about the future and we want to make everything in our power, in our power so that it goes well. And by taking care of what happens here, it will have a huge impact on the quality of your interactions. So think about that. Think about how can you change your mood to a more positive one, focused on something positive. You can do that home and you can train that home like many times. And you can do that when you are at the social situation and also positive expectancy. Instead of seeing the glass half empty when you approach someone, seat half-full, so that it will give you confidence, decreased your social fears. It works really, really well. So my mission to you today is to change your state. Today when you feel a little bit down negative of whatever the state you are in, you're just going to say, Hey, I'm going to change my state. And you focus for a few seconds on something positive and you amplify the emotions when you fill them in your body, you amplify and you will see, you will be a more positive person and people will like you more. People who say, Hey, there is something about you today. It's just because you are in a more positive emotion and people are drawn to this positive emotion because it's a high frequency. If you increase your frequency like the amount of positive energy that you have in your body. It will also draw people to you. And when you interact with people, that you will be like a magnetic person. And that works really, really well. 6. Day 5: Join Group Conversations: So now let's talk about how you can join group conversations. If there is a group of two or 34 or five people, how can you approach it? So some people will say, Oh, it's not difficult, it's not more difficult. It's just a little bit different. So the first advice here is that you should approach a group when they are having a light conversation. For example, if there are serious, they are yelling, they're nervous, they have an intense conversation. Maybe that's not the best moment to approach. You want to look for light conversations or if there's a blank, it's even better. So you look around, say, Oh, this group here is having a light conversation. I can go. Now, don't make it an execute if there is really someone you want to approach and having a serious conversation and you really have to approach because then there will be leaving, for example, go for it. Sometimes it works, but it's better if the conversation is like, then what can you do? You're going to use a three-part sentence. The first one is, I got you are going to be polite. You can say, excuse me or sorry for interrupting, because it will show that you are educated, that you are polite and it's really great to convey that when you approach people, sorry, excuse me, sorry for interrupting. And then you are going to use social empathy. Social empathy, it means that you understand what's, what's happening socially. So you can say, I, and I know that you are having a conversation. It means that you are socially aware, that you are interrupting them. And then you say, but I just wanted to and then use one of the three ways that we have discussed before to approach someone. So what is the sentence? Sorry for excuse me for interrupting or sorry for interrupting. I know that you are having a conversation, but I just wanted to tell you that you look really friendly. And I wanted to say, hi, Hi, my name is Alan. First way. Or you could say, sorry for interrupting. I know that you are having a conversation, but I just wanted to introduce myself. Hi, my name is Alan. Another way. Sorry for interrupting. I know that you are having a conversation, but I just wanted to ask you a question. And then you ask the question. You can see here, it's a little bit different. And what's really amazing about group conversation and I really like them, is that when you approach a group, you have more to talk about. Because if you approach only one person, it's you and the other person. And if you approach a group of 2345 people, you have more to talk about, you have more fuel, there are more people and can index that can give you, give more fuel to the conversation. So it's more frightening at the beginning because you see like there are more people that can reject you. But at the end it's easier because there is more to talk about it just like the beginning of the edges. A little bit more difficult, more challenging. But when you do that, it becomes easier. Now something that is really, really important is that when you approach someone and it's a group of two or three people, you want to say hi to everyone first, you don't want to ignore one person, because if it's a group of two and you only talk to one person and you ignore the other person, the group is going to reject you because no one wants to be left out. So it's important when you approach someone, you say hi to everyone and you can even include people in your conversation. Now, sometimes like people like you, everyone will participate in the conversation and sometimes some people will talk together and that will leave you alone with that person that you have approached. So you have to use your common sense to see what's happening here. But this one here, the three parts technique to approach people. Now another question that you can ask right after that is, how do you know each other? Because then you can understand the group dynamic like why are they here? Like how do they know each other? And you can understand more about, about who is with who and why and so on. And it's a really valuable question, and that's the question that asked all the time. When I approach a group conversation, I want to know what's going on and what's the group dynamic and do that and never ignore someone when you approach them. The only rule is that if it's a huge group of people, you don't need to say hi to the ten people. You know what I mean? Approach one of two people but use your common sense. Don't like approach someone and then ignore the other person so that they will feel left out because then you will be rejected. So your mission is, today, go out and approach a group of minimum to people and use the three parts sentence here. And what I encourage you to do is to write down the three parts sentence on a piece of paper with your own words so that it reflect your personality. You can do that and you will see that approaching groups is fun and easier. 7. Day 6: What To Say In Social Interactions: Now let's discuss what to say in the interactions. If you want to master the art of interacting with people, learning what to say is important. So most people put too much importance on the words. Again, I said that words are only 7% in a communication between two people, and 93 percent is the nonverbal. So they focus too much on the words. Focus on how you feel. Focus on the emotions behind the words. And what will work really well is when you say something and you convey good emotions, and instead of saying just a word, you just say, oh, like you say a sentence, you convey passion and emotion behind that word. That will work really well. So basically you could say anything, like words are just words. You could say anything. What's going to work is that you are the ones saying the words and you have great intentions. You are the ones sing the words. It means that it's your emotion that is conveyed behind the words, the 93% behind the words that will make an impact. And it's because you are saying the words. You are saying the words that means that you are sharing your personality. You are sharing who you are with the other person, you are sharing who you are freely with the other person. And I made a mistake while 15 years ago when I started really improving my social skills. I will script everything. I would take scripts from the Internet that I learned and I would have a whole conversation, a two hour conversation plans in my head, like just imagine the struggle to us. And I will approach people and people will reject me and they would even tell me anon, there was something off about you. I don't know what it is, but there is something off. And I understood is that it's not the words that will make its work. It's the fact that the worst comes from you and that you have the emotions behind the words. So it's really important that whatever you say comes from you have, you have good intentions, comes from you. When I say that, it's not that if you hear sentence somewhere and then you use it, that's not a problem, but don't, don't have like everything is scripted from another person. It has to show your personality and who you are, because that's what will make you authentic. Authentic is the best key to interacting with people. And most people tried to be perfect. They say, Oh, I'm going to find the perfect words, perfect tense sense, but it doesn't exist. Who is perfect? Robots? And a human is perfectly imperfect. It means that if you want to interact with someone, it's not going to be perfect. So remove the pressure off your shoulders. Words are only words and you can say anything. I tried it. I tried with business people that I would approach with, like people in clubs, in bars. I tried, I would approach someone and SOC nonsense. Nonsense. I will talk about tomatoes and socks. But because I had the 93 percent really taken care off, I was able to get away with that and people will drawn towards me. So the words, other words, well, but now you have to say something because it can adjust approach someone and then just stare at them and say nothing. So we are going to discuss here, what can you say? Most people think that it's only you and the other person. And they say, Oh, I can only talk about the other person and me. But there are other dimensions that you could talk about. You could talk about your past, your present, your future. You can talk or ask questions about the other person's past, present, or future. There is also something you have in common, which is your environment. You have something in common. The environment, you have the past of that environment. You have the presence of that environment, and then you have the future of that environment. For example, the future of that environment. You could talk about what's going to happen next here. When does it close? What's when is the next conference? What's going to happen? The presence of the environment. You could talk about something that is happening there. Oh, it's a great atmosphere, it's a great vibe. It's a great restaurant, it's a great place. What do you like about displays? You can talk about the past. What happened before? Was there a conference? Who was the speaker? What happened? You can ask questions about the past of the, of the environment. You can talk about yourself. You can talk about what you're going to do. You can talk about what you did. You can ask questions about the person, the present time, about their past, where they come from. You can ask about what are the dreams, what are their passions about the future? You can see here like a lot of dimensions that you can use to talk to people. And when you understand that, that words are only words and the fact that you are saying the words, you understand that words are not that important anymore. It just like the emotions that people feel because people will, will remember how they felt, not what was said in an interaction. And this is key here if you ask them, okay, what what, what was said? What was the first thing that the person said to approach you? Most people want to remember, maybe, but they will remember how they felt during the interaction. For example, if I asked you what was the first sentence of this online training, can you remember? No. Because you can only remember how you felt and how you think these online training is great or not, you know, like you, you are getting an impression of me. But you are not really focused on the words. You're just focused on like everything that is happening, the emotions you are feeling like. You're understanding the concept and everything. That's what's really important. So you approach someone, you asks, you introduce yourself, you ask a basic question, you complement someone, then you can ask the question, what brings you here? Because it's a great question to know why the person is here. What brings you here? If it's a group, you can say, how do you know each other to understand the group dynamic? Then you can talk about what you have in common. And I encourage you to do that. It's talking about the environment. If you are at work, if you're at a networking event, you have, for example, business that is in common. You have work, you have colleagues that you have in common, you have something that you have in common unrelated to the activity, to the environment that you're in. If you meet someone at the gym, you can talk about the gene. You can talk about nutrition, about health. Because you know that this person has higher chance of being interested in the topics, because you meet them at the gym. So you can easily find things to say if you think about all the dimensions that are there and don't over complicated, you can ask questions. You can say statements. It doesn't matter. And some people will say, Oh Alan, don't ask the borrowing questions like, where are you from, What do you do? And I would like to illustrate something here. If I ask you the question here, what do you do? Where are you from? Do come here often? Or what do you do? Do you come here often? You can see here that the first one was without emotion, was really generic. It was only like the words without emotions. And the second one was the words with emotions. So you cannot just that. It's about the emotions that you convey behind the words that is important. And some highly successful people, they ask the boring questions. But it's not boring because they have the emotions that, that are conveyed behind the words. And that's why it's super important to take care of the emotion that you put behind the word. And you can ask the basic questions. You can just throw in some passion and some energy behind the words. And an exercise for you here is that tried to ask a question. A question is, where are you from as kid without emotion? Where are you from? And then ask it with passion behind it. Where are you from? With excitement, Where are you from? And as you can see here, the second one is more powerful than Where are you from. Because it conveys passion, excitement. And like human beings, like they feel the emotions. And that's what really important when you talk to people. Also, you can add humor to the interaction that works really well. You can tell a joke. You can say something that is funny. So how does humor walk? Basically, it's when you say something that is unexpected, you say something that the person is not expecting to. I'm not going to tell jokes here. But what I would recommend you to do is to go on YouTube and you search for comedies, you search for jokes, you search for funny lines. And then you can learn how humor works. You can learn like the great jokes are the things that you like that matches your personality. So that next time when you're interacting with someone, you can just talk and you can share the jokes. And basically that's what you need. If, if, like, if you really want to be highly socially successful, just use the dimensions that I said here. And the more you're going to practice, the more you are going to be at ease with with like asking questions, you will see, okay, how, how can it become more interesting? Okay, maybe if I asked this question instead of this one here, it's better and you will develop your own sense of personality. Your own sets are sets of questions. So I would say don't offer complicated focus on the emotions that you have, on the emotion that you feel. And you could basically say anything as long as you don't have bad intentions and it comes from you and you have great intentions towards the other person, you could talk about anything. Now, something that is also important is that don't start with a really personal questions. For example, if you approach someone, don't say, Oh, what are your darker spheres though? You're not going to ask this question here, but just to illustrate that, don't start here with something that is really personal. You can ask questions that are not too personal. And the more time that you spend with the person, the more personal questions you can ask, because the more the person will open up and the more you will connect with that person. So my challenge to you is to, if you can today, approach someone and interact with them. You approach them, you interact with them. And you think about your present, your past, your future, the present past future of the environment. They're present, they're part of the future. And you talk about it. And you will see that it will go much better. Because if you understand that you have all the things to talk about, that will work really well. And your goal is to do that, to interact with people and to think about that. And if you cannot interact with someone today, you close your eyes and you imagine interacting with someone and talking to that person and ask yourself this question, okay, what could I say? What could I talk about? You will see, you will become a huge social success. 8. Day 7: Never Running Out Of Things To Say: How to never run out of things to say again. So we have all been there. We are in a conversation and then there is a blank. We have all been there and it's something that that happens. So in this video here, I want to show you why it happens and what you can do to make it happen less often and if it happens, how can you deal with that? So let's start with where does it come from? So when we have a blank in a conversation, it's because we think that what we have to say is not good enough. In other words, the filter for what we think is good enough is interesting, is too high. So let me illustrate that. If you talk to your friends, do you run out of things to say with your girlfriends? Most of the time, No. Why? Because it you can talk about anything. And most people put their filters of what they think is acceptable to say too high, or the thing that what they have to say is not interesting enough. So what's going to happen is that they have 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years of experience of life experience that they could share and talk about and ask questions. But there are filter is too high because maybe they are talking with someone that is important or like the afraid off or they are, they are inspired by that person and the thing that what they have to say, it's not good enough. And they're filter is so high so that they don't have anything to share with the other person and then there is a blank. So my first advice here, words are only 7%, 93 percent is non-verbal. It means that if you have a blank, it means that you are putting too much importance on the, on the words. And what I encourage you to do is to lower this criteria for what you think is acceptable to say. Because remember, it's not the words that you say, but it's the fact that you are seeing them and you have great intentions. So when you understand that, that you could talk about anything, as long as it's coming from you with a great energy and you have good intentions, you can say anything. So if you lower your filter for what you say, the blanks will happen, happen less often. Now, what do you do if it happens? It's going to happen. So what do you do even if you like you loyal filters? There is a time where there will be a blank. First. You don't do what? Most people too, you don't get uncomfortable because most people forget the blank and then the stress to freak out that become really nervous and remember whatever you feel the other person feels. So if you feel nervous because there's a blank, the other person will feel this nervousness and will associate that to you. So you don't want that. We wanted to just be comfortable with that. Be comfortable with the blanks. You are at ease. You accept that the blank is there. It, it's, it's normal, it's natural. And you become comfortable. You accept that it's normal. And I did this exercise many years ago. I was approaching people and then on purpose, I would stop talking and I would be super comfortable. So I would create a blank on purpose. And then I had had it was like many years ago at at the end of an evening, I had someone who approached me and said a Allan, I talked to you earlier. We had that blank. And you are so comfortable like it's so rare to have people who are like so comfortable with blanks and say, Yeah, actually that that was on purpose. And then we talked, we we we exchange. But I just wanted to show you that if you want to stand out socially, accept the blank, be comfortable with that. Now. How can you initiate the conversation? How can you restart? First? You could say almost anything because by saying something, you would remove the pressure of the shoulders of the other person. So the person would almost accept anything that you say. Even if you say something that doesn't really make sense, the person would accept it because you are starting the conversation again. Now a great way to do that is to talk about something that you discussed before. For example, let's say that you discuss that the other person wanted to go to Barcelona. You could really shape the conversation. Talking about Barcelona, talking about something, a question about the weather in Barcelona, about anything. You can re-initiate the conversation by talking about something that you talked before. Another great way is to talk about something else. Remember the dimensions you can talk about your past to present your future. The past, present future of the environment. They're present, they're past their future. So you could ask a question about what they did that day, what they are excited about or like anything, you could restart a new conversation based on this blank. Another great way that works really well is to have a question toolbox. Basically if three questions that you can use anytime when there is a blank. One of my questions is, what are your passions and interests? And other one is where would you like to go on vacation and what you like to do for fun when you have free time. So my questions are adapted to the environments that I'm going to go in. For example, I'm going to ask different questions to a networking event than if I am in a bar, in a restaurant like I have different kinds of questions. I gave you some questions here to show you that don't over-complicate it. Find your own questions. And this is your mission for today, is to write down three questions. Three questions in your toolbox so that next time that there is a blank, you can ask them to reinitiate the conversation. Maybe you noticed here, I talk about the passions, what the Electoral for fun, about the vacations that are things that are more positively oriented. Because I want to 3D shapes. We like something that will maybe make the other person feel positive emotions. So talking about the interests, interests, passions, what they like to do when they have when they have free time, about the dreams, about a vacation or something more positive. And that works really, really well. So find your three questions and then you can re-initiate any blanks if, if there are any and if that happens, be comfortable with that, That's important, whatever you feel the other person feels. So if you are more adventures, you could also go out and create a blank on purpose and just become comfortable with that. That works really well. So enjoy experiments and see what happens. 9. Day 8: Connecting With People Fast: How can you connect with people fast? So it's a skill that if you have it, it would be really useful to create deep relationships with the people around you. It can be in your personal life or your professional life. So how can you connect with people? If you think about the people that you hang out with. Why do you hang out with these people? It's because you have something in common. And that's the key here. If you want to connect with someone, you have to find something in common with the person. So where do you interact with someone? There is something that you have in common, which is the location that you are in. So you can always start asking questions about the location, which is like something you'd have in common, and then you talk about it. So to create a connection, you find something you have in common and you talk about it. Let's say that you're at the gym. You can start talking about the gene. You can talk about nutrition. See if it's something that the person is also interested in. And then you start talking about it. So you can ask questions about the environment, find something you have in common, or you can ask any basic questions to discover more about the other person. You can ask about the passions, the interest about what they're actually two for fun about anything basically. And you try to find a commonality. Why do I always ask like, what you'd like to do for fun? What are your passions, what are your interests? Because it's more powerful if I am able to find the commonality with something that people love, it means that if I can find a commonality between my passion and their passion, the connection will be stronger. So that's why I always ask this question here. Okay, What do you like to do for fun? Where do you, where do you want to travel to find like, if there is something that we have in common based on that. And when I found it, I'm going to talk about it. So during the interaction, your goal is to ask questions to find the commonality and then you talk about it. Now what happens if you don't find the commonality with that person? You can use indirect commonalities. It's not as strong as the direct commonality, but it works well. So basically, let's say that you are talking and you are talking about Miami, like the other person wants to go to Miami and let's say that you don't know where miami is, like you have never been there. You have nothing in common with Miami. You could say, I have a friend who I have a friend who went to Miami and he really enjoyed. Say that if you really have a friend that went to Miami, don't fake it. Okay. You can use I have a friend who and it's an indirect commonality. It means that you have a commonality with your friend through you. It's not like super strong, but it's better than nothing. So I have a friend who that works really well. So don't fake the commonality. Don't say, oh, the person says, Oh, I like playing tennis and I say, Oh, I love playing tennis to, and if you hate it, don't say that because you won't be authentic and the person will notice that. So find something that you have in common and talk about it. Another thing that is more advanced and something you can do is that you can match the energy level of the other person. Because when you connect with someone, you're so connect with the energy and the emotions. So what you can do is that you approach someone. You just imagine that there is a bandwidth between you and the other person. It just imagine it opens and you're going to match the energy level of the other person. You're going to match it. So imagine here, that is the bandwidth that opens. And you just match the energy level of the other person. And when you have matched it, you can increase it by focusing on something positive, by focusing on the positive memory. And then you increase the energy. And when you will increase your energy, it will also increase the energy of the other person. It's more advanced, but it's really fun to two. So tried, you open a bandwidth, you just imagine that you match the energy with the other person. You focused on something positive, you increase your energy, the energy of both of you increase n you have connected energetically, which is super powerful. Now, don't do that if the person is really low emotions, for example, if the person is stressed, anxious, or depressed, don't use this technique. Use this technique if like the person is like, okay mood and you want to increase it and connect faster with that passion. Now there is a so the non-verbal part, if you want to connect with someone that is super powerful, basically, you're going to mirror the behavior of the other person. So I don't know if you have already noticed, but when you are talking to a friend or someone like you have a deep connection with that person. And then you look at your body language and you see like it's the same. It's as if there was a mirror in front of you. You have the same behavior. For example, you are crossing your legs, you are crossing your arms. You have one hand in your pocket and it's because you have a, yeah, having a deep connection. So that's what we want to reproduce here. It means that when you are talking to someone, I want you to slowly stop, start mirroring the behavior of the other person. But let's say that the person puts their hand in the pocket. When they do that, you can just wait a few seconds and then you put your hands in your pocket. If the person crosses their legs, you wait a few seconds, your courses your legs. Your goal here is not to copy the whole behavior, but copy some parts of the behavior. Because then the subconscious will look at you and say, Hey, this person is like me, this person gets me, and it will increase your sense of connection. So don't be too obvious. For example, the person crosses their arms and then you cross your arms. Wait for a few seconds. Don't copy all the behaviors. And the best moments to do that is when like people are distracted when you, when you, when you sit, when they are talking. Because when they are talking, they have less attention on what you're doing. There are more like thinking about the word. So these are the best moments to create rapport to mirror the behavior of the other person. So your mission for today is to interact with someone and find the commonality. Find the commonality, talk about that commonality. And also if you want to go more advanced, you can start mirroring the behavior of the other person. Observing around you in a restaurant, in a bar, who is connected with the other person? Like, do they have body language that is mirrored? Or is it like completely different body language? And you will see that you will be able to observe people and then understand how reconnection works. Because you will see that when two people have the same body language, they are in deep connection. And you can use that at the beginning, even after a few minutes and have like a deep connection with someone. And if you don't use these techniques, it can take like 10, one hour, two hours. And this really, really fast track, the success that you will have socially. 10. Day 9: Attractive Social Energy: How to have an attractive social energy. So whatever you feel, your emotions, It's really important that you take care of them before you approach people and when you are approaching people, I'm not saying that you must always be in the positive mood, always positive in great emotions, no. But when you are interacting with people, he must know which switches to turn on and which switches to turn off so that you can be in that great mood. Because when you are like doing something your day-to-day life, you can feel how you want. But when you're interacting with people, if you feel great, you will be able to have a lot of social success. So it's important to know, okay, how can I turn on these emotions? And I would like here to do an exercise with you. Could you just close your eyes? If you close your eyes right now and you think about something sad. How do you feel? Sad? Okay? If you close your eyes and you focus on something that makes you angry, How do you feel angry? Okay, Now if you shake a little bit your body and you focus on something that makes you happy. That makes you ecstatic. That gives you motivation. How do you feel about the goal that you have about something that empowers you? How do you feel empowered? So whatever you focus on, you will fill. So how did you change the, the emotions by changing what you focus on something that works really, really well and hack that will help you, is when you go to the events, for example, you are driving, you can smile like an Egypt. So sometimes when I am in a really bad mood or I've been working for for like 10 10 hours and I have to go to that event and to be on top of my game, I'm going to smile for ten minutes in my car with like loud music. Some people will pass by and I will be like smiling like, like, like, like almost dancing in my car lectures to activating the energy and the emotions. And people will smile generally be like smiling and then they will laugh and it will put me in a great mood. And like I do that when I'm in a bad mood and have to transform really quickly, what works really well is that you focus on a positive memory. He put a smile on your face. So I would like to challenge you today. When you go to a place, be aware of the emotions that you have when you interact with someone. Before interacting with someone, ask yourself this question here. On a scale between 0 to ten, how much is it of positive energy? Is it like 12 or 10? And then you focus on something that makes you happy, on a positive memory or something that makes you smile. And then when you feel this emotionally amplified, and then when you increase your positive emotion, you approach that person. If you make the habit of whatever you feel the other person feels and take care of your emotions of what you feel. If you do that, you will become a huge social success. Because the 93 percent will be taken care off the 90 percent of the conversation between people. So you can train your brain to do that. You train focus on something positive, okay. Today, I'm not that great. Okay. How do I change? Focus something positive. Okay, today, focus something's positive. You train, you train your brain to do that. So that when you have that important person, you focus on something happy. And then immediately you feel the emotions and give yourself the permission to feel that create emotions. Feel that great emotions approach people and you will get massive success. 11. Day 10: Leaving A Conversation Politely: How can you live a conversation politely. So I get so many e-mails from people asking and an I approached the person. I was talking to the person, and then I wanted to leave the conversation. So first, it's normal if you want to leave the conversation, like it is human nature, maybe he didn't click with that person personally or professionally, and you want to leave the conversation, that's normal. But there is something that you must be careful off. Maybe. Sometimes when you approach someone, depressant will be stressed. Depressant May be cold, the person may be closed. It's because most people, they're not great at sociality of actions. And they need time to be comfortable to open up to be at ease with you. So sometimes when you are talking to people, we say, oh, but this person is called. This person is not like asking a lot of question. Dispersion in Turkey stressed it's maybe because the person is just opening up and being at ease with you. And then when they are IID with you, that will have like a warmer personality, a more open personality. So use your intuition. Is this person like just opening up and being comfortable with me? Or is it more like, oh, like I don't have something in common. I just want like to stop the interaction. And if it's number two, you want to stop the interaction. That's okay, That's tuplet, totally normal. So how can you do it? The first part is you can say It was nice meeting you. It was nice meeting you. Then you give a reason. And sorry, I have to go because I have to call a friend. I have to talk to my friend, I have to talk to a business partner. I have to go. Anything, you give a reason. And then number three, you say it. Let's talk later and then you can even exchange contact information or not. So number one, was it was nice talking to you, but I have to go I have to call a friend, I have to meet that client. Let's talk later or have a great evening. It's a three-part and then you can leave the conversation politely. That works really, really well. And your mission is to write down your three parts sentence so that you can leave any conversation politely. Again, it was it was nice talking to you. Then you give a reason, but I have to. And then you say Talk to you later or nice, I have a nice evening or have a nice day. You can create your sentence so that next time you want to live, you know how to do it. 12. Day 11: Confidence In Social Interactions: How can you increase your confidence in social interactions? If you want to increase your confidence in social interactions, you must focus on what you can give to people. I was getting a conference in Sydney and someone from the audience raised their hand. It was a woman. And she said, You know what, Alan, I don't feel really confident in social interactions. And then I ask questions. And she told me that she like her job to approach people on the streets and to raise money for charity. And she didn't feel like really confident. And then I said, What's your mindset? And she said, oh, actually, I'm just approaching people to take their money. So, you know, like I'm not really that confidence. Then I said, Okay, you want to increase the confidence, focus on what you can give. What can you give, What's the impact that you have when you approach these people and they give you money. And then she said, Oh, we, we, we give this money to homeless people. We give them homes, we give them meals. We give them warm, warmth. We'd like we take care of homeless people. And then I say, okay, instead of now perceiving the fact that you have to approach people to take their money, take something. Why don't you think about the fact that when you approach someone and they give you money, it helps homeless person. And she's like, oh my god. Like she was excited that she wishes she wanted to go in the streets and and talk to people like, oh my god, it makes sense again. So it's important when you interact with someone to be aware that you have valid to give to people. Let's say that you are networking events. Ask you a question here. What is the value that my product or service or the thing that I have to offer, Like, how can it improve the other person's life? How can it help the other person's life? And when you understand that you have value as a human being, that you can give value to people. And it can be, again, value verbally with the things that you say with the tips, with the advice, with information that you gave with the jokes or non-verbally with the emotions that you have. You put yourself in a great state and you know how to do it by, by now, you put yourself in a great state and you approach someone who is not that great. And you will lift dispersant up to the level that you're, that you're ion. If your wife is great energy, people will be drawn towards you. And it's important that you understand you have this value giving mindset. And when you understand that by approaching people, you will improve their life. You'll be more. It will take more actions easily. Think about the crowd, crowdfund the girl. Next time. You want to approach that woman, that, that man in the bar, up at the bar. You want to approach, think about the value that you can give or I can give this person a good time. I can make this person laugh and think about everything you can give. And so that you understand that how I have value to give to people socially. When you understand that something inside your switches. And you become more confident. Another one that I want to share with you here is the confidence hack. It works all the time and in a few seconds, you can become more confident. Let me explain what it is. Let's say that I'm going to use this posture here. And I'm going to say, I'm confident, I'm confident. You can perceive here that when I say I'm confident, I'm confident that I'm not confident at all. But now, what if I just change my posture, NSA, I'm confident. I'm confident. How am I able to go from not confidence to confidence? But it's weird, like in a few seconds, how can they do that? And I encourage you to do this exercise here. Adopt a posture with your chest, close your shoulders down, head down without any facial expressions. You look down and you say, I'm confident. And you say between a scale, in the scale between 0 and 10, how confident am I? Is? 0, 1, 2, 3. And then you use the Superman posture. You open your chest, you put your shortest back, reimagine, have a string pulling you to the sky. You have a smile, confident face. You use gestures, you use hand gestures. And you ask yourself this question here. On a scale between 0 and 10, how confident am I? And it should go to a 7, 8, 9, 10. The posture that you have will impact the confidence level that you have. Because what happens here in your mind is linked with your posture. You change your posture, you change what happens here. And it also works the other way around, but it's easier to check to change physically your posture and it changes here your confidence level. So next time that you are not that confident, notice the posture that you have. And most of the time you will, I would say 99.9% of the time you'd have a posture of someone who is not confident. So your goal is to have the Superman posture. Imagine that you have a cape. Be proud of your open your chest. Open your, open your chest, take space. And by doing that, you will increase your competence level and decrease your stress level. And also when you are working at home or at your office and you're in front of a computer. Most people lack confidence throughout the day. It's because they are working on their computer and they have this position here, which is the same position as someone who is not competent. We could, if I ask you, could you picture in your mind someone who is not confident, you will picture the best and like that. And when you're working on a computer, you have the same position. So really open your chest and imagine that you are Superman. You do that. It will dramatically increase your confidence level when I go to a new environment and have to be on top of my game always I will have the Superman posture because it will increase my confidence level. And I can choose if I want to have a low confidence level or a high confidence level in an environment when I approach people. And the choice is really simple. So try that, Try the Superman posture to become more confident. That's your mission. 13. Day 12: Being Comfortable Socially: How can you be more comfortable socially? So this one here is a big one. Most people try to do everything perfectly. They tried to be the perfect version of themselves, not best version, perfect version. They want to have the perfect behavior, perfect things to say, perfect attitude, everything has to be perfect. And at the end, they are super stressed. And whatever you feel the other person feels. So the person that you're talking to will feel that you are inauthentic, that you are stressed and they are trying to be perfect. And that will decrease your social value. Sadly, that's how it works. So I encourage you to be perfectly imperfect to relate from one human being to another human being. And to just imagine, and to remember that you're talking to a human mean, it's not perfect. If the person is not perfect, even if you are talking to a president or something like, like someone of high value, they are not perfect. They struggle for when they go home. Maybe they, they are depressed. Maybe they're not that great, maybe they doubt themselves. They are human beings. But most people will just say, Hey, I'm perfect and perfect, nothing can touch me. But if you take a few minutes suggested to just remind yourself that, hey, this person is likely this person goes to the bathroom like me. Dispersal is not like superhuman. You relate from a human to another human being and you decrease your stress level. So when you go to a social environment, take time to relax. I hope this person is human like me. This person is human and I want you to relate from one human being to another human being, not from the position of the role that you have, to the role of the position of the other person. So yeah, you are going to respect the other person if it's your boss or something, how someone that is, how that has a high position in your company. But I want to just two, thinking another level, think of, Oh, I'm going to read from one human to another human. So how can you become more comfortable? A great way to do is to use the way hubris, the Navy Seals that are able to remain super calm when they are facing near-death situation. And one of the tools that they use is the way the police. So when we're stressed, we're going to breathe like super quickly. And it's going to stress our body can see her like I'm super stressed. So what we want to do is to calm the way we please. And we wanted to breathe deeply. So what we're going to do is that we are going to inhale by the nose 3 times, x sale by the mouth three times. And we are going to do it like when I'm going to inhale, I'm going to put the, the, the air in my belly. I'm not going to raise the shoulders. I'm going to let the shoulders down and I'm going to put the air in my belly. So let's do it three times. You can do it with me. And you can see here that I'm more come. I was able to control the way I was breathing to just calm down. So that works really well. If you want to go to an environment and you do that before going into that home in your car, in the bathroom. And you can also do that when you are talking to people. So when you're talking to people, don't close your eyes and you can just inhale and exhale by the nose, but take some deep breathing, do some deep breathing. When you are talking to the person. Breathe deeply because it will relax your party. That was really well. Another great advice is more energetic advice. If you arrive in a social environment and you feel tension in your body. I want you just to locate the tension in your body. And you're going to imagine that the tension is black. So let's say that I go to a place and networking events have to give a presentation or anything. And I will notice that I'm super stressed, like my shoulders are stressed. What I'm going to do is I'm going to picture black energy in my shoulders and I'm just going to release it. I imagine that it's leaving my body. I'm doing that now and it's releasing the tension from my shoulders. So you can do that. It's really fun exercise. You find where the tension is located. You imagine it's like black energy, and then you just imagine it going away. That works really, really well. Another great way is to relax yourself before going to another, to an event is to put yourself in a negative mood. It means that you want to stop warming up. And the best way to do that, it just you call a friend before the event. So instead of being in your Carson Oh my God, I have to approach. People have to approach. People have to approach FIFO. You just call a friend and you talk about nothing is talking about anything, no matter what, it doesn't matter what you talk about, but matters that you are putting yourself in a negative mood. And if you do that, when you will enter the social place where you can talk to other people, you will have already talked to your friend before. So the stress level will have decreased. So my question to you is to use one of the techniques here that I shared with you. It can be the way you breathe. It can be imagining the black energy. It can be related from one human to another human. It can be like anything that you found helpful in this video here is to apply that in a social interaction. 14. Day 13: Love Yourself: How can you love yourself more? So the question is, are you really comfortable in your own skin? Because when you're interacting with people, and if you're not really comfortable in your own skin, you will be worried about how you present yourself to other people, how you look. And if people wanted to make fun of you, or if people look, for example, at your body and you are not comfortable with that, you may feel like these negative emotions and it's not helping you. I would like to help you here love yourself more and become more comfortable in your own skin. So there is an exercise I would like you to do which is really powerful. It's called the mirror exercise. So I encourage you to do it home because you have to be naked. So you could do that in your office, but close your door. You go in front of the mirror. Like, the bigger the mirror, the better it is because I would like you to select your whole body. You go in front of the mirror naked and you look at yourself. You look at yourself. This is how you look. Maybe you will have like uncomfortable feelings in your body saying, I don't like it. Maybe you say, Oh, I'm in shape, like accept what comes up. I would like just YouTube to look at your body right now, because this is the body that you have right now. You may like it or you are or not, but this is the body that you have you accepted. Do you accept the body that you have right now? Then you can improve it, but right now you just accept it. You can look at your face like everything. You look at everything. And you accept this is how you look right now. You accepted. Then you're going to ask yourselves this question here. What are the things that I like about myself? When I look at this mirror? What are the things that I like about myself physically? What are the things that I like? You may start saying how there is nothing I only like that. I'm not seeing shape and you may start listing everything that is not right about you. But I would like here to focus on what are the things that you like about yourself physically? How I like my muscle. I like the color of my eyes. I like my hair. Start making a list. I would like you to make a list of five things that you like about yourself. Then you're going to ask yourself another question. What are the things that I don't like about myself? And I can improve. And you're going to try to find three things. Let's say they say, Oh, I don't like my hair. I, my little bit of a wait. And add-on like for example, my makeup. You're going to find three things that you don't like about yourself and that you can improve. Because the goal here is to improve them. Because if you don't like the things about yourself, you are going to improve them. Santiago need to take action according to what you found. For example, let's say that I don't like my hair, an action. I'm going to call the hairdresser to fix my hair. Okay. I want to lose some weight. That's not something I like about myself and I can improve. Okay. And then you make a plan, you make a plan to improve. Okay? Tomorrow I'm going to join a gym. Tomorrow I'm going to eat less desert tomorrow. I'm going to buy a nutrition book tomorrow. And you make a list and you've come up with a plan to improve it. Then after one week, two weeks, like you go in front of the mirror again and you see the things that you don't like and you can improve. And you see if it has improved. And you're going to build your confidence, self-esteem, self-image that way. The other question that you are going to ask is, what are the things that you don't like about yourself and you cannot change. The other question was about the things that you didn't like about yourself and the things that you could change. Now it's about the things that you don't like and that you cannot change. Let's say, for example, you don't like the shape of the nose. If it's something that you cannot change because you don't want to have surgery for that. So you consider that it's not something that can change. You are going to accept it. Accept the things. Because if you don't accept it, if you resisted. Next time that China's social interaction and for exam, someone looks at your nose and like and you, and then you feel uncomfortable because you say, Oh, I hate my nose, I had my nouns. It won't serve you. Accept the things in yourself that you cannot change. The sooner you accept it, the more comfortable in your own skin you will become. Because we have this scene, the things that you like about yourself, the things that you don't like but you are improving. And the things that you don't like about yourself and you cannot improve and we have accepted them. And that's how you can improve yourself. Love, it works really well. I really encourage you to do this exercise because for me and for all my clients, it made a really huge difference. So that's your mission. Do the mirror exercise today. 15. Day 14: What People Think Of You: What people think of you. So we all have this fear. We are worried about what people would think of us. And it's not bad. It's not bad because that way we can improve ourselves and we can see if our behavior is created or not. So worrying about what people think of you is not that bad. But what becomes problematic is when what people think of you affects who we are and we adapt who we truly are to match the other people's expectations. And that becomes a problem when we adapt who we are. Something that truly transformed my life is that I heard a study from Bronny where so she was a nurse taking care of people just before they died. And she asked her patients a simple question. The question was, what is the biggest regrets you have in life? And you know, almost what do you know what almost all of them said. They said, I regret I didn't have the courage to live a life according to myself, but instead, I live the life according to the other people. Expectations. I heard this 3010 years ago. Since then, my whole life has transformed. I'd been living a life true to myself. And when you do that, you really say, okay, how do I want to live my life? Do I want to get the ends of my life and look back and have a lot of regrets because I didn't live a life true to myself? Or do I want to look back and say, what a ride? I really loved it. And I made a decision that we're at that day when I when I when I heard the study and since then, I understood that it's important to be aligned with who you are, what you want, what you dream. Virtue aspirations are, not what you friends, not virtue parents wat not what your colleagues, but what do you usually want? Because that's what really matters. And most people think that they can control the impression that they make. But that's an illusion. I call that the 50 percent rule. When I interact with someone, how much of the interaction do I control? I don't control 100%. I controlled 50% of the interaction and the other person controls they're 50 percent. It means that I can only control my 50 percent. How the person perceives me with their 50% is not in my control. Yes, I could say things that would work well and that would make a great impression. But what if I have my 50 percent there are not that strong and my parents want me to do something, and then another person wants me to do another thing, and another person wants me to do another thing. And like if I focus on the 50% of all the people and I don't focus on what I actually want my 50 percent. I'm not going to be true to myself. So what you should do is focus on your 50 percent when you interact with people, focus on your passions, your interests, what you truly want, who you truly are. What you're excited about. And when you go through the Word you walk like that with your 50 percent, say this is my 50 percent. This is what I like. This is who I am. And some people will click with you, and some people want, but the people who will click with you, they will click with your true self. And you will have a deep connection with these people rather than being liked by everyone. Because the problem here is again, adapting who you are to please people and pleasing people. Because your parents, your friends said, Hey, you should do that. Instead. You cannot be a painter, you cannot be an artist, you cannot be who you truly are. And this is exceeded with all my clients, almost all my clients. They adapt who they are to please someone. Like pleasing someone one time is great. But the problem is when you adapt who you truly are to please someone, that's a problem. And most people will see that socially. When, when I was a child, I will always adapt. Why was just to piss people. And for example, I love playing tennis. And I would go to an interaction and someone would say, Oh, I hate playing tennis. And I would say, Oh, I hate playing tennis to, I will adapt myself not to be rejected, to be liked. And it was always worried about what people would think of me that I didn't think about what food I think of myself. What do I think of me? Do I like me? And it all starts here. What are your goals? What are your, your opinions, but there are things that you like. What are your boundaries? If you define them, you define your personality and you live according to that. When you would be approaching people, they will sense the sense of power. And you will be worrying less about what people would think of you, because you will be focusing on your 50 percent. Let's say that you have a presentation to give. You cannot control if the person is going to like the presentation or not. You can control and can control on your 50 percent, which is giving you best. You're going to prepare, you're going to have a great structure and so on. And you are going to focus on giving the best presentation that you can. And then it's dirty 50 percent to say, oh, that was an amazing presentation or I didn't like it. It's not in your control. And if you do that, you will be less stressed because you will be focused on the things that you can control and let it go of the thing that you cannot control, which is the impression of people. You cannot control the impression. Tonight I could go to a bar and give a compliment to a woman. One could say, Oh, that was amazing, I love you. And the other one could say, Oh, go away. I don't control I control my 50 percent. And ask yourself this question here. How do you want to live your life? So you mentioned today is just to think about that. How do you want to live your life? Do you want to live a life true to yourself or adapt who you are to please people. And there is nothing wrong with that. If right now you are adapting who you are to please people. But maybe today you could start being a little bit more yourself. Today you could be doing things that are more true to you during the passions that you like, doing the things that you want, being with the people that she wasn't being with the person that you want. Think about that and you will see that your social success will go through the roof and the quality of your life. 16. Day 15: Stop Being Shy Socially: How can you stop being shy socially? So there is no magic pill, sadly, but there is a process that anyone can use to decrease their shyness in social interactions. So let's think about the popular kid. When he was a kid, he was popular. But why is that? It's because he was able to take a lot of action socially and to experiment a lot. And then he found the right things to do socially. And then he reinforced them. Or maybe he had someone who showed them the great skills that he needed socially. It can be their parents or another friend. So if we think about that, the popular kid, he had a lot of social referencing when he was a kid. And that went well. So he reinforced them positively. And that's why he was able to get these great social skills. And if you contrast that with someone who has shy, who didn't have a lot of social success, even a lot of social interactions. If you contrast that one has a lot of social references, positive social references, and the other one doesn't have a lot or maybe he has bad social references and that's why this person is shy. So I know that there is a, so the personality that plays a role in if you are shy or not. But what I want to show you here that, hey, maybe it could be a little bit more outgoing socially, and like put yourself out there. So how can you do it? The idea is to get the social references. Now, maybe you didn't get the job, didn't get them when you were a kid. But right now you could get them. So I encourage you to take daily small actions towards improving your social life. For example, tomorrow it could be approaching someone on the streets and asking for the time that they after it could be approaching someone in the bar, that they after it could be about making a joke, Do something that makes you a little bit uncomfortable socially, everyday. And now the secret is that you are going to reinforce it positively. Remember I said the popular kid, she was taking action and she was getting success and he was reinforcing that. So there are two questions that you can ask yourself. The first question, after every social action that you have taken is, what did I do? Well, today, we are reinforcing positively. Why did I do well? And you can use that for the social actions, like any action. So for example, I could even say, Hey, well Alan, today, today I'm recording the online training. What do they Well, that's great. What did they do? Well, second one is, what can I improve? Next time? Most people would ask the question, what did I do wrong? But it's framed negatively. And if it's negative, it's not going to build your confidence. That's why I framed it that way. Why, What can I improve next time? So that you are getting the feedback, but at the same time you are building a confidence. You are building your social references and you are decreasing your shyness, and you're increasing your confidence. So let's say tonight you go to a networking event or you have a presentation to give. You do the action. And then at the end you say, What did they do well, and you make a list. And then what can I improve next time? Next time maybe I could be less stressed for the presentation or maybe I could prepare well. Or maybe next time if I am, if I am in a bar, I could try to make a joke. And then you get the feedback and you reinforce it positively and you are able to get a lot of social actions and reinforce them positively and get the feedback that you need to improve. And if you take one smooth a reaction a day towards a social life, after one year, you have 365 small actions. And they have been reinforced positively. And I encourage you to take the small actions that you reinforce rather than like one big action that is outside of your comfort zone and that could really like impact to traumatize you. We want to try to build this confidence. You could do something that is really outside of your comfort zone. There is no problem. But don't do something that is outside of your comfort zone because then it can traumatize you. And if you don't interpret it, well, it can traumatize you. It means that it can decrease your confidence. So instead, like do the small daily actions and reinforced with the two questions here, challenge your mission for today. Do something socially, take a small action, and then reinforced with the two questions. And if you want to go one step further, you plan the actions for the next seven days and then you reinforce them with the two questions. Good luck. 17. Day 16: Positive Body Language: How to have a positive body language? It's super important to remember communication. 93 percent are the non-verbal and only 7% is verbal. So you want to have a positive body language. When you want to have a positive body language, you ask yourself this question here. How would a positive person behave? And you will see that the movements of the hands, they are not closed. They are open. It means that when you will be talking, your hands are open. We call that the given position. You are positive, your open here with your hands. You're not talking like that with the hand closed. Okay? The hands open them. Your face. The emotions that you have, the facial expressions will also impact how people will react towards you. So you could have a smile, you could relax your face. Just think about having a small green. You smile a little bit, that helps your posture. Your head is straight, your shoulders are back. And you are going to gesture. Because by gesturing, you're going to activate energy in your body. And by activating energy in your body, you are going to make the energy flow in your body and it's easier for this positive energy that you are getting from the smile, from the posture, from opening your, your hands and gesturing. The energy will be able to flow freely in your body and you will have a more positive state. So that works really well when you are happy and positive energy, Don't be like happy and positive energy. You can gesture a lot. That's what I do when I talk to people, I use the gestures that it activates my energy. Now there are some people who will cross their arms. So when you cross your arms, it's more associated with the closed posture. But sometimes it can also be a challenging posture. You have to look at the face. If I'm closing my arms and I am looking bored or angry, you can see that I'm, I'm having a closed body language. But what if instead, I'm looking at you like that? And it's more in a challenging way. So when someone crosses their arms, look at the expression of their face because that will tell you if it's a, if they are in a great mood or if they're in a bad mood, or if they are challenging you. I wouldn't recommend you to cross your arms. It's more advanced. So just imagine that you have, you are open to ask yourself, how would someone behave with the legs? If you are a man, I wouldn't recommend you crossing your legs. If you are standing, you can just put your your fit at the same length of your shoulders. And if you're a woman, you can cross your legs or not depending on how you feel. But just ask yourself this question here. If I were if I had an open body language, what would it be? Never put your hands in your pocket because that shows that you are hiding your hands. And back in the days, we didn't know if you, if you had a rock, a knife, and that you could kill people. So right now if we don't see the hands of someone, we are a little bit concerned and we are little bit less relaxed than if we just see the hands. So if you don't know what to do with your hands, just take something. It can be your phone, it can be cards, like your business cards. Something so that Can be holding something, it can be holding a drink. Anything works really well with a drink. Be careful if it's a beer or something that is really cold. You don't want to have a cold handshake. So hold it with the hand that you are not going to shake people's hands so that your left hand, for example, becomes cold because of the beer and the right one is still warm. These are some tips that works really, really well. On the other side, if you are drinking coffee or tea, use the right hand so that your right hand or the hand that you want to shake people ten because it will become warm. And studies have shown that if you shake someone's hand and it's warmer, people rethink that you are warm. And if you shake someone's hand and it's called people, we think that you have a cold personality. So that impacts a lot. So just be conscious of that small steps, small tips, but they make a difference. So your mission for today, when you're walking down the streets, ask yourself the question, am I having an open body language? And you just make some small changes to adapt the body language that you have to make it more positive. 18. Day 17: Confident Body Language: Now let's talk a little bit about confidence, body language. How would you picture someone who is confident? You would picture with the chest, open shoulders, back, you, basically you would picture it pictured as person, as superwoman or superman. You imagine that you have a cape. And if you adopt the posture of someone who's confident, guess what? You become confident. So my challenge to you today is when you are walking down the streets, when you are doing something, you ask yourself this question. How would Superman or super women behave? What would be his or her posture? And if you adopt the same posture, you will have the same emotions as them. You will feel the confidence. And if you do that, you have the posture of some unconfident superwoman, Superman. You open the chest shoulders down your, Imagine that you have a head pulling. Had that string pulling you to the sky here at the end of your, of your head. You gesture. You take space. You imagine you're Superman or Superwoman. You look at the horizon. You look at into people's eyes. People, we feel the confidence that's not more complicated than that. People will feel the confidence. And another great tip that is super important is when you are stressed, you will gesture a lot, but it will be in a stress way. For example, if I'm stressed and I am talking to you, this is like dummy stressed. What you want to do is have underwater moves. You just imagine that you are underwater and that you are moving under the water. When I'm talking to you and I'm like underwater, I'm talking to you with gestures that are more calm, more controlled rather than than gesture like that. Hey, welcome to design a training. I want to do that and, you know, it's like underwater moves. And that's a strong sign of confidence. So use that and let me know hikers. 19. Day 18: Eye Contact: Okay, so now let's talk about eye contact. So today what I'd like to share with you is that there are many things. How did you feel? Have you ever been in a situation where you were talking to someone and the person was not looking at you? The person was like looking around, looking at other things. How did you feel? Most of the time, we feel negative feelings. We think that maybe the person is bored. Maybe that you think that the person is not interested, or maybe you think that you are boring, that you are not interesting, or that may be the person wants to leave. We have negative associations with that. That's why I contact is really important. Like, how do you master the art of looking into the other person's eyes and how do you do it if you are a little bit shy, how can you do it? So first, when you look into a person's eyes, we say that it's, the eyes are the windows of the soul. We can perceive the motion of the other person who can connect with someone. And it's really difficult to connect with someone and to have a great interaction if you're not looking directly into the other person's eyes. Because that's how we perceive people, how we perceive things is through our eyes. So don't connect the two things that are perceiving my eyes and the eyes of the other person. It's difficult to create a connection. And you can convey energy, you can convey positive emotions. If you do the exercise and you focus on the positive memory and you feel this great emotion and you look into the other person's eyes, the person will look at you and feel discrete emotions. It's easier to connect with someone. So now, what can you do if you are a little bit shy? My girlfriend gave me this amazing advice and when she gave it to me, I said, no way, that doesn't work. She said you can look at the eyebrows instead of the eyes and you won't notice the difference. I said no way you can not do it. And she said, Okay, I'm going to look at you. And I'm not going to tell you if I'm looking at your eyebrows or your eyes. And we did that many times and I was amazed. I was not able to tell the difference. So if you're a little bit shy, I want to just start giving the illusion that you are giving eye contact. You can look at the eyebrows instead of the eyes. Some people say Look here. But it's an old trick that doesn't work because you will be like looking like that. You will be looking at the forehead. It's just weird. Don't do it. Look at the eyebrows. And you can also test that with a friend. The person looks at you once in the eyebrows and once in the eyes and they don't tell you and you try to guess to see if that works for you. Now, it's best to look directly into the person's eyes. So how can you do it? If the person that if you, you are talking, your eyes will naturally go into directions. For example, let's say that I'm talking to you and I don't look away. It becomes really weird when I'm talking. And for me it's difficult to access the information because I'm looking at you and you can see like I am stiff. Instead, and it's something that is natural. You want to look like most of the time into the person's eyes. And you are going to let your eyes go up, down, right, left. You let them go where they want to go. And basically I'm accessing information. If my eyes go up, it access certain information in my brain. If it goes down, right, down, right, left, it access different information. So when you are talking, you look into the person's eyes and you let your eyes go where they want to go. But most of the time you are looking directly into the person's eyes. That's for when you are talking. Now. When you are listening, you just look into the person's eyes. Now we're not going to look into the person's eyes with a creepy smile or stressed or worrying about what to say next. Know, you're going to have a relaxed face and just look into the person's eyes. You can practice that. You go in front of the mirror and you look at yourself like this is how it would look. And you ask yourself, is it a creepy look or not? So when the person talks, you look at them. If you want to break eye contact, don't break down. Don't break down because it shows that the other person is more dominant than you. What you want to do, instead of looking down, you want to look to the right or to the left. So that can be useful if you want to break eye contact when the person is talking or anytime, or when you are talking to the person, you are looking at them and you see that the person is a little bit uncomfortable because sometimes people are not used to having a strong and powerful eye contact. So in that way, Let's say that the person is talking and listening and looking to the person's eyes. And I see the person is a little bit uncomfortable. I will just break the eye contact to the right, then look to the person a little bit and then break maybe to the left. And then look back to just decrease the tension. And you will see that the more you practice, the easier it will become $0.02 if the person is comfortable or not. So how I practice that? It was really funny. I called a friend and I said, Hey, it was blessed. His name can be misled. Habla has I have an interesting question. Do you want to go to the park with me and you want to practice eye contact with me. And it was weird then explained. And actually he was really happy because then we practice the eye contact. Because when you're practicing, sometimes it's weird because it's a new behavior. So if you do with someone, it can be your partner, someone at work. And you explained that you want to increase eye contact. You explain the game and you do it together. You can really improve your eye contact in a non creepy way. And then you say, okay, I'm a little bit more comfortable with eye contact. I know where and when my face is relaxed, I know that the other person said it's not creepy because I can get feedback from my friend and that's how you can improve. So your challenge is to call a friend. 20. Day 19: Smiling: Smiling. So if you smile in social interactions, people will think that you are open-minded and that you are more warm. So it's really great to smile in social interactions. But now there is the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it. Before showing you that, let me just tell you that most people are not comfortable with the way the smile. So what I encourage you to do is that you go in front of the mirror and you look at yourself and you smile. Do you prefer to smile like that? Or just how do you want to smile? And the idea is to be comfortable with that. So go in front of the mirror and see how you smile. Now, I said, I said earlier that there is the right way to do it and the wrong way to do it. What is the wrong way? The way is that when you are smiling, to make an impression, you are smiling because you want to get something from the other person. You are smiling because you want to micro-manage the impression that the person has. The perfect example to illustrate that is the salesman, the car salesman. He will laugh at your jokes. He will do like everything. Who laugh at everything because he wants to get something from you, which is your money. So the wrong way to smile, to always be smiling because you wanted to, the other person to like you because you want to take something from the other person you want to control to micro manage the impression that you are making versus the right way, which is expressing your inner smile. Smiling because you want to smile, smiling because you are happy, smiling because you have joy, smiling because you express yourself. One is an impression. You are trying to make an impression on someone which is like the wrong way to do it. And the other one is the right way. You are expressing your, your inner joy. So next time that you smile, ask yourself this question. Are you trying to impress someone? Or are you expressing yourself? And you express in your joy? Are you trying to impress someone? And the more you earn the expression mode, the more charismatic you will become. 15 years ago. I wanted to be accepted by everyone. So I was really in this impression mode and I would smile nonstop. Literally. I would go to a place, I would see friends and it'll be like always smiling, always the smiling guy. And most people said that it's not authentic, like you are always smiling, it's forced. There is nothing wrong with myths like smiling a lot. But are you smiling because you are joyful and you are expressing who you are? Or are you smiling because you want to make an impression and micro-managed if people like you or not. That's a difference here. So your mission for today is to smile. And when you smile, ask yourself this question, are you making an impression or way of expressing yourself? And the more aware you are of that, the more you can just adapt the way that you smile to just Hey, saying, Oh, I'm going to smile because I want to smile because I want to express my joy and happiness and my inner smile with the world. 21. Day 20: Magnetic Presence: How to have a magnetic presence. This will really make a difference in your social life because people will say, Are there is something about you, there is something magnetic, there is something that makes you special. There is something that I really like to be with you. Like there is something that makes you charismatic and its presence. What do most people do nowadays? There are always on their phones. They're always like texting. They're always doing something rather than than being in the present tense, being the present moments. And that happens in social interactions. People are looking around, they're thinking about what to say next door, thinking about the laundry, they are texting, they're doing something and they are not present in the interaction anymore. And maybe have already been in an interaction where you were talking to someone and you notice that the person was not there with you, how did you feel? And maybe it's the other side. You are talking to someone. And the person must so present the best and most fully listening to you. And maybe you felt great emotions because of that, because of that level of presence. So that's what we want to do here. We want to increase our level of presence in social interactions. So what does it mean to be present? It means that you are fully aware of the person. Yeah, 100% there. You are not stuck in the past. You are not thinking about the future. You're not thinking about what to say next. You are giving your full attention. And most people say, Oh Alan, but I can't be present because I have to think about what to say next. And the thing is that they have to think about what to say next because they are not fully listening toward the words of the person. And if you're not fully listening to the words, how can you then know what to say if you fully listen? And then you can take these words and then start a sentence or question according to what the person said. So be fully present. Imagine that the person is the most important person in the world. If you are talking to a president or some awesome I like that. Would you be texting and looking around and thinking about your laundry? Or would you give your full attention thing that the person is the most important person in the world. Also, what works really great is to push back the sensations in your body. Because if you're not present, it means that your focus are not in the sensations of your body. A great way to do that is to focus on the weight of your tongue. You should do it. Try now and now it's a little bit weird, but let's try it. If you do a try now, you focus on the weight of your tongue. It's impossible to think about the laundry because you are 100% present. Another great tip is to focus on your toe. On your toes. You put the sensations on your toes and the weight of your tongue. And immediately it brings back the presence. It puts you back in alignment and it allows you to communicate with people with full presence. Another chip that you can do is that you can meditate daily. If you increase your ability to be present during the day, it will increase your ability to be present during an interaction. So how can you meditate? You just sit on a chair. What I do is that I sit on a chair, I look at a blank wall and I focus on the way I breath. I'm not trying to control how a brief I'm just observing hybrid. And then I focus on the sensations in my body. I start with the feet. Then I go up, up, up, belly, up, up, up to the head. And I am not trying to control something address observing such sensations. And then I'm going to start this just blank wall. And I go and i'm, I'm going to empty my mind. And most of the time there'll be a lot of thoughts that will come in. I'm not going to resist it or try to control it. I will just imagine. And this is the psychologists that gave me this tip. He imagined that there is a cloud passing by and that takes the thought away. It's beautiful. So when I'm looking at this blank wall and I have the thoughts, oh, I have to take care of the dog or blah, blah, blah. Then I just imagine this thought going away and it empties your mind and it allows you to be more present. You can do that for 1020 minutes a day. You can set an alarm that works really, really well. And the more you do that, the more present you will be able to be in social interaction. So try your mission is to try to be fully present with someone. You turn off your phone, you're like, you're fully present with the person in front of you and you see what happens. And most of the time the person say, Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you today, or there was something attractive about you today, try it and let me know. 22. Day 21: Most Interesting Person In The Room: How can you be the most interesting person in the room? So you can do something that I call a guessing k. How can you be the most interesting person in the room? So most people will ask the same January questions and we'll get the generic answers. And before I said that it's okay, you could ask the question, why do you do Where are you from? And so on. You just put some great emotions and it will be okay, you will have a great conversation. But now if you want to be the most interesting person, you are going to change a little bit, because if you ask the generic questions, you will get the generic answers and then people will like, you want to really stand out in conversations. So a great way is to do a guessing game. What do I mean by that? You are going to guess, to try to guess, for example, where the person is from or what the person does. So instead of asking, where are you from, the same question as everyone, you are going to say, You look like, you look like you're Italian. You look like you come from South Africa. You look like you are Australian. And it's a guessing game. You're going to guess where the person is from. So for it to work well, don't have bad intentions, don't guess something to hurt someone. Yeah. Like you are guessing where the person is from. And you say You look like you are from, You look like you are from Italy. You like for you are from Europe. And then the person will be intrigued. The best-known say yes, you are right or no. What did you, what made you think that? And the reaction is different than just say, hey, I'm done dangerous asking the question, where are you from? I'm from Italy. You are putting some emotion, some intrigue, some like challenge, challenge in the interaction. You are trying to guess where the person is formed. You can also guess what the person does. Instead of asking, what do you do? You can say, I think, let me guess. I would say that you work in a creative environment. You should be, You must be a stylist or an architect or something like that. Am I right? Then the person say, Yeah, you were right, how did you guess or the person who say no, not exactly what, what made you think that. And you can see here, there is another dimension in the game. Now, don't abuse it, don't try to get everything. Maybe use one or two gases. For example, you can guess where the person is from or what the person does or something else, but don't be guessing that everything say, Hey, you name should be mark your name. Don't do it. Don't abuse it, but it's really powerful and don't say something to hurt someone. So if you wanted to, to use it effectively, you must learn to observe people, to observe like where people are from, what they do, how they dress, and even if you don't find what the person is form or you are completely wrong, It's still a better conversation rather than just asking, where are you from, what you do? So try it, see it's really, really fun. Another great way to be the most interesting person in the world is to be more interesting. Try to learn a new skill, a new passions and your interests. Do something new. Do something that scares you. Be like champs bonds. Learn new things. Go to an art exhibition. Go to, to learn new things. Because the more things you learn, the more interested you are in life, the more interested you will become because you will be able to share that in conversations. So to become interesting, become interesting first. So my challenge to you, my mission to you today is to talk to someone and try to guess where they are from our day. Do you look like you are from South America, Blah, blah, blah, or let me guess. I would say that you work in a creative environment, you work in finance, whatever it is, try guessing. And you will see that if we add a lot of fun, and most importantly, you will stand out from other people. You want to stand out, you want to become more interesting, you want to become memorable. And that's the best way to do it. 23. Day 22: Make People Like You: How can you make people like you? It's really important that you understand that people don't remember what was said, but people remember how they felt. If you ask someone, what did the person said in the interaction, they're not going to remember a lot of things, but the person is going to remember a feeling, an emotion that they had about the interaction. So you can use a hack, a social skills hack that very few people know. And the people that know this hack are the people that really have the social success. Basically, you are going to trigger positive emotions inside the other person's body. And then the person is going to associate these emotions with you. It's almost like magic, it works like a charm. Let me illustrate that. If I asked you this question here, what is everything that is happening wrong in the world right now? What is bad around us? Like, what makes you angry? What kind of emotions where you feel? You will feel negative emotions. And if i, o, if I only talk about these negative things, you are going to associate these negative things with me. But instead, if I ask you questions that are framed positively and the things that, that may trigger positive emotions. You may associate these positive emotions with me. So for example, a question that I asked all the time is, what are their passions, their interests? They like to do for fun, what they like to do when I have free time, where they want to go on vacation. What is one project that you have accomplished so far and are really proud of? Because I want to try to trigger this positive emotions. And what I'm going to do that I'm going to ask this positive frame questions. And then I'm going to talk about it. Because who doesn't like to talk about the passions, like most people do. Most people like talking about the passions. And the more the Tok about it, the more they will feel this positive emotions. And then they will associate it with me. And then they say, or had a great interaction. But basically, I was able to trigger these positive emotions in the other person's body. And it works like a charm. So ask this positive questions. Relate to passions, what they like to do a project that they did, and they are really proud of that. Can I ask something related to vacation, to anything? And you will see if it's framed positively, it has higher chances of activating these positive emotions. Now it's not all the time. Maybe we'll talk about, we will ask about the passions and then the person would say, No, there is nothing right now. Then try to ask another positive question. And maybe the person is written negative and there is nothing you can do, but do you really want to stay with the person like that? That's the question. But most normal people, when you ask questions about passions, about things like that, they will react positively. And when they react positively, you talk about it. Now don't fake it. For example, if you ask a question about the passions and say, Oh, I love playing football. And then you say, I love playing football. And you don't, don't fake it. Just talk about the passions or the thing that the person likes them and you see the person feels great emotion. You talk more about that so that the person associates it to you. Now there are some people who say Allen's manipulation. It's not. I'm just choosing to asking certain questions of a sudden questions. Choosing to ask, what do you like to do for fun versus what's going, what's wrong in the world right now, I'm just choosing some questions. And the example I have was from university, I was with someone who has really popular. And most students there will be talking about the exams, about the stress, everything that was wrong at this university. And they were experiencing experiment, experimenting these negative emotions. And that friend was talking about the holidays, was talking about the parties, was talking about the great things, the things that the passions, the interests, and it was a choice. And the thing is that this, my friend here was talking about the part is the vacation and so on. He was activating positive emotions in students. That's why they loved it. It's not that it doesn't mean that he was not studying studying. It doesn't it doesn't mean that. It just meant that when he was interacting, he was triggering positive emotions in the other persons and he was a positive guy, you know? So it, it works really well. I want to show you here that there is a way to make people like you by associating these positive emotions to you, by asking positive framed question. So my mission to you is find your positive questions. Is it with the interest, the passions, the vacations? Is it with a project that they did and they were proud of what are your positive questions? And your challenge is to write them down and use them today. 24. Day 23: Positive Expectancy: How to use the power of positive expectancy to boost your social success. So most people, when they are in a social interaction, there'll be worried about people that really bore, worried about approaching the ISA or dispersion can reject me, disperse, that can happen. Discussion can laugh at me, That can happen. And they are not seeing the glass half full. There are seeing the glass half empty. And then they feel this fear of approaching and confident people and people who have high social success. They imagine that the conversation will go well. Just imagine you have two lenses. You, you, you could see the world through a red lens. You see all the problems, everything that could go wrong, or you have a green lens. And then Greenland's is opportunities, everything that could go well, all the things that you could gain do you prefer to look at the social interactions with the red lenses or with the, with the green lenses. You just imagine you think about that. It's a choice you can make. Do you want to use the green or the red glasses? Interesting, if you'll excuse the green, you can use what we call positive expectancy. You imagine that the conversation will go, well. Let's say that I wanted to approach a CEO or approach someone in a bar. I'm going to just imagine for a few seconds that I'm going to approach them and they're going to react well towards me. Is it going to be the case? I don't know, but there are higher chances of me expecting that, thinking about that and having all the body language that matches my belief of 0, it's going to go well rather than I'm going to be rejected because I, if I expect to be rejected, I'm going to have the body language of someone who will be rejected. And this is key here. That's why what you think in your mind is so important. So use the positive expectancy. You just imagine that before approaching, you put the red, the green glasses. And you look at the social interactions that way. Your body, your posture, everything will change to match this positivity. You don't know if it's going to go well, but it has higher chances of going well. If you wear the green glasses, if you are more positive, if you see the glass half full and some people say, Hey Adam, I don't want to be disappointed, so I expect to be rejected. Yeah, you're going to be rejected. You won't be disappointed, but you want also have social success. And what we want here is social success. So think about positive expectancy. So my challenge to you, if you can interact with someone before in approaching, you, just think about the interaction going when you picture the interaction going Well, if you cannot interact today with someone, you just close your eyes and visualize yourself in a social interaction. And you picture yourself. Before approaching, you, just picture it going well, you will see it will make a huge difference. 25. Day 24: Energy Exchange: Energy exchange. So this one is so powerful here. There is an energy exchange between two people. And you can consciously decide what kind of energy you send to the other person. So what you can do is that we imagine there with the bandwidth between you and the other person. And you just imagine that you open the bandwidth though consciously. You just open the bandwidth. And then you imagine that in your belly you have a white, powerful positive energy. And how do you do that? How do you feel this positive energy? You focus on a positive memory, amplify it in your body. So I'm there in the interaction. I imagine that there is a 2 first, I feel discrete emotions in my body. I think about something that makes me smile. I amplify this great emotion here. It's white. It's, it's powerful, it's, it's positive. Then I imagine that if the bandwidth that opens with the Albert or the Burson, and I imagine that I throw this energy at the other person. And the person will feel my positive energy. And actually you could do that with any kind of energy. With I tried that, for example, with anger, with being upset, I put myself in a, in a state of I'm really angry and upset, are opened the bandwidth with someone, I throw it and the person's like, receives this whole energy like, Oh my God, you're upset. And that is super-strong. And you can do the opposite with the positivity, which is what I recommend. Because then people were like, feel this positive emotion, this energy a second. Oh my God, you are charismatic. And that's how it works. So I encourage you to try it today with if you have a partner, have a friend, you have someone that's your mission. Try just to imagine the bandwidth before you put yourself in a great mood by focusing on something that makes you happy, you amplify the energy. You just imagine that there is white energy here. You open the bandwidth, you throw it and you see how the person reacts. Try it with your friends or with your partner. 26. Day 25: Befriend The Leader: It's important to be friend, the leader if you want to have high social success. So when you enter a new room, look for the leader, look for the person who appears to know everyone. Because your goal is then to talk to that person, to make friends with that person. That that person can introduce you to other people. Because it's easier to have someone that introduces you to other people rather than approaching someone and having nothing in common and like the person doesn't know who you are and like you know, like it's a cold, we don't know each other and no one introduces us. Because if someone introduces us, It shows that you are normal, that you have social proof that someone vouch for you. Someone said, Hey, this person is not that bad. I can introduce this person to dispersion and it helps you. It has been proven that people will open up easily if you are introduced to someone rather than, than if you approach and like the person doesn't, doesn't know you. So it's important. You befriend, befriend the leader. You find the person who appears to know everyone, and it will be the person that is talking to many people during the night or during the day, you see that the person is introducing him or herself. A lot, is talking, is moving around. This is the kind of person that you are looking for. Then you talk, you introduce yourself or your approach with any of the techniques that I've shared in this course. You'll make some friends and then you can just ask the question, hey, could you introduce me to one of your great friends or could you introduce me to that person there? Don't be afraid to ask. Like introducing people is like just exchanging social value. And don't be, don't be afraid. Just just do it. Just just ask and 99 percent of the time the person say Yeah, yeah, why not? If if if you look normal, the person say, hey, why not? And the power is that when you will walk with that leader, like everyone will see you with that leader. And then the leader will say to that person, Hey, I would like to introduce you to Alan. And the person like wheel. We have to behave well because it has been recommended by a friend. So this is a great hack that, that works all the time. Be friendly leader. So your mission is when you enter a new environment, look for the leader, befriend the leader, and then ask him or her to introduce you to one of her friends or someone that you really want to talk to. And the worst that can happen is that they can say no or the end, it's really rare. Or they can say, I'm sorry, but I don't know this person. And then you can even say, oh, so let's go together and talk to them. And then you go with the leader that doesn't know them yet. And then you approach your two, approaching two or three other people. And that works really well. 27. Day 26: Visualization For Social Success: Now let's talk about visualization for social success. This is the difference between people who has a lot of success socially and the other people. So what is really amazing that our brain cannot perceive the difference between something that happened or something that you have imagined. So it means that if you leave an experience and then you, you feel the emotions or you imagine something and you feel the emotions, the impact will be the same in your body. So how can we use that at our advantage? We could improve our social skills while sitting on the couch? Yes, that's everyone's dream. It's possible. What you should be doing is that when you are home, you just put yourself in a quiet place. You close your eyes. And then you would imagine the social situation you want to be in can be a networking event. It can be a bar or a club or restaurant, a library, no matter what it is. And then you are imagining you approaching there. You say, Okay, I see this business person there. What would I say? How would I approach? And then you imagine you're approaching and then how would you continue the conversation? What would you say? And I want you to like to test your social skills in your head before you test it with other people. The more you do it, the more emotions and the more certainty you will have in your brain because the more you practice. If you practice 20 times approaching in your head. And next time you go to a bar and you have already approached 20 times in your head, it weaker, it will count as experience. So your body will be more confident. And now the key here to visualization is to expect and to make everything go well. It means that you are approaching and you're having success. You're not approaching and you're having failure. Yes, someone can test you or someone can reject you. That can happen. But I want you to see it more positively. It's like a video game. You are learning new skills. You are building self-confidence and ask yourself this question, okay, when I am in that environment and you sink and you visualize when I am in that environment, what can I think? People are good, people are positive, okay, then I approach and I want you to build your confidence always to learn and basically it happens in your mind. So you could play or you could do whatever you want. You could have a movie of everyone rejecting you. Or you could have a movie of you go your approach. Some people, some people say, hey, yeah, it's awesome, and then everything goes well. You get that client, that business partner, that's wife, that husband, that girlfriend, boyfriend, or there are some people can reject you but say, Hey, this person rejects me because this person, I don't click with dispersion and it becomes something positive. That's what I wanted to encourage you to do, to use this visualization. And I encourage you to do it every day, do it everyday so that it becomes automatic and then you build massive confidence and massive success in your head before actually like talking to people. And that's amazing that we have the ability to do that. So your mission today is to visualize your social success. 28. Day 27: Talkative Mood: How to be in a talkative mood and why is it important? Have you ever been in a situation where you just woke up or you have worked for many, many hours without interacting with people. And then you had to be on top of your game to approach people and you didn't feel like it. Thus novel, because I encourage you to be in a talkative mood. It means that throughout the day, I encourage you to interact with people just to warm up. Because let's say that you have an event at night, you have something in the afternoon instead of not interacting with anyone and then just saying, hey, I have to approach that CEO, that important person I have to be on top. It will be more difficult because the more you talk with people throughout the day, the more talkative Muji will be, the more social you will be, the less stress you will be, and the more confidence you will be. So what can you do? You can call a friend that works really well. You go to an event. Before going to the event, you call a friend, you call, and then you talk about editing. The goal here is to keep talking. You talk about anything. You have been working for 10 hours, then you call your friend, then you go out. You can approach anyone. You can talk to the bouncer, to the waiter, to the person in that environment. You can ask if they are having a great night, great evening. You can ask for direction is just to warm up. The more you do, the easier it will be when you get that person that you truly want to talk to because you will be already warm socially. So think about that. Your mission today is to warm yourself socially. So it means that you want to start being talkative mood. And I encourage you after you watch this on a training, talked to a friend, call a friend and go out and ask a question asker direction as how the day or night is going to start getting the flow, the social flow. And you will see that like your whole social life will go to another level. 29. Day 28: Fear Of failure & Fear Of Rejection: Now let's talk about the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. So we all have these two fears inner and they can be a problem because they can stop up, stop us socially. So let me explain how we can decrease them and how they can impact less July. The fear of failure. If we start with failure, failure has a negative connotation. It means that when you talk about the failure, It's not something really positive. It's like a failure, something you have failed. So instead of using the word failure, I would like you to change it to learning, experience or result. Instead of saying, Oh, I'm going to fail socially, say no, I'm going to gain an experience, I am going to gain a result. Okay. I failed. I got the results. I got a learning experience. In my language. I don't use the word failure anymore. It doesn't exist exact results and learning experience that I get. And then you will be excited because you're not going to fail anymore socially. You're going to learn socially the more you interact, the more you learn, the more you gain experiences. It's all about the mindset that you have. And the more you fail. We are not going to use this word anymore. The more you learn, the more you can improve because the more you can develop your personality, see what works become more interesting, the better it becomes. So failure does, don't use this word anymore. Now the fear of rejection, we are afraid of being rejected. We are afraid of approaching that person and we are afraid that this person rejects us. May be the person that you are approaching had a bad day. Maybe someone died. Maybe she go she or he got fired. They're having a bad day. And if you approach them, they will reject you no matter who you are. No matter if you are like the Superman or like someone I really amazing, they may reject you. And my first advice here is, don't take rejection personally. Because remember, you have your 50 percent and then they have their 50%. You arrive here with your 50 percent. And sometimes there are 50% if something really bad happened and they reject you and don't take it personally. People always say, oh, I got rejected, it's because of me. You don't know that you don't know. My question to you is, was there a time when you approach someone, you interact with someone you and they rejected you and you thought it was your fault. But maybe it wasn't. Maybe they had a bad day. So don't take it personally. Don't take it personally. Another trap that most people, people, people fall into is that they tie their self-worth to the fact if they are rejected or not. So they will approach that person. And they say, Oh, this person reject me, i'm, I'm worthless. Again. Don't tie yourself worth to that and it's not true. You only have 50 percent. It doesn't mean that someone rejects you, that you are, you don't have any value. It's your 50, 50% percent don't change. What changes is there 50%? If they reject you or not? And sometimes rejection can be great. Most people say, oh yeah, no, no, I don't want to be rejected. I like being rejected because sometimes I don't click with the person personally or professionally. And it makes me save time, energy, money. I like to be rejected not all the time, but I like it. It's not that bad. It makes you save time. It's normal, it's human. You cannot click to everyone. And the more you develop your personality, your sense of who you are, the more confident you become, like, the more rejection you will get. Because you will, you will only click with like certain, certain peoples who, who, who are like you, then yes, you can adapt a little bit who you are to make a great impression on other people. But the more confident you become, the more you work on your 50 percent, the more you'll be able to have deep connections with some people. So what I'd like to illustrate here that sometimes rejection is great. And sometimes bijection can teach you something, not all the time. And this is a three times row. It means that if you do something similar and you get rejected three times, you ask yourself if you want to change that behavior. Let's say that I want to go to a bar and I want to meet someone. And at a certain moment, I will say something. And every time I say the sentence, this person rejects me. If disperse, if three people reject me for the same thing, I'm going to ask myself the question, is it's something I want to change? Or like, is there a better way to ask, are there a better way to do it? And I will see if I will base, I will base my behavior on the feedback and I may improve it or not. Maybe it's something that I liked doing and I'm not, I don't want to change it. And maybe other people will really love it. Some people hate it. It's really your own judgment. But I want to show you that sometimes rejection has to be something that you should take into account on how you can improve that part. But sometimes it's just the person had bad 50 percent or you didn't click with the person, you don't really know. So rejection and failure are two things that shouldn't really impact you. And it all depends on who you surround yourself with. If you surround with people who are always laughing when you try something and you get rejected. Maybe change your friends. Being an environment of positive people where you can increase and you can develop your own self of who you are and how you interact with people. So my challenge to you today is to write down your definition of failure. And I don't want you to use the word failure, but I want you to use it learning experience and learning experience or results. I'm going to talk about whites, great. Why it's great to have a learning experience and results. And you write it down. So then we are changing your brain to thinking more positively about failure. So do this exercise, it's really, really powerful. 30. Day 29: Surround Yourself With Good People: Surround yourself with the right people. So this one here is really key. When I started my social skill journey, I was surrounded by people who were always laughing. What I wanted to do something. I wanted to approach that girl. I wanted to approach that person. And there will be like overlooking and then they would laugh if I would get rejected. And they were the people who are doing nothing. They were just laughing. They were trying to put me down and I had to change my friends. So I changed my friends to people who were like empowering me, who are like trying to encourage me to have better social skills. So I would like to inspire you to think about the environment that you have. There is a famous quote that says, we are the average of the five people that we hang out with. And it's so true, if you want to increase your social skills, you must be with people that puts you up, that encourage you to be a better version of yourself socially. So if you have a group of people who are always trying to put you down, there are many things you could do. First thing is that you change your friends. The second thing is that you try to see these friends less often and you find other friends. And with this other friends, you can go out and interact and improve your social skills and their friends who wants to encourage you. It's an option. Now, the other problem that most people have is they say, Oh, it's my boss. It's something that I have to be with. It you cannot change the person that you're interacting with. You can change the way that you interpret it. So first, don't let it impact you emotionally. Take a little bit of emotional distance with that. So for example, your boss is always negative, always saying something. Don't let it impact you. Imagine that it's a five-year old style that is saying that. And it will, it will decrease the impact that it has on you. And then ask yourself this question here. How would I have behaves differently? Dispersion is always negative, always trying to put me down. How would I have behaved at his place? O instead of saying that, I would have said that. And basically you are reframing in your mind what happened so that you are developing your own behavior. And that works really, really well. And sometimes you have to let go of people. Can be family members, can be someone you share your life with. If they are not supporting you. Sometimes it's tough and but sometimes has to be done. But sometimes you can stay with that person and then find other friends or the people elsewhere that can really encourage you and you can transform yourself. Then you become a more positive person. Then you interact again with your family members or the person you like you spend your life with and it goes better. So it all depends on the situation. But what I would like to say here is that you must be aware that the environment that you are in impacts your social skills and that you should find at least one or two friends that you can call and that you can go and interact at social places to increase your social skills because it's really important. So that's your challenge here. Find one or two friends. And what you can do is that you take your phone and you go through your contacts and you look at maybe people that you haven't talked in awhile, but we're really positive. And maybe they wanted to also go to bars, to club networking events and you can call them and go there together. So that's your challenge. 31. Day 30: Influence More People: How can you influence people? So most people, they just say something and they expect the person to follow. And it doesn't really work like that. Most people tried to command. And then they say, Oh, this person is doing exactly what I wanted in front of me. But then when they are not there, the person is going to procrastinate and talk behind your back. So that's not maybe the most efficient thing to do. There are three things that you can use to influence people. But before sharing that, I would like to show you a state of mind is certainty. In an interaction, the person who is the most certain will influence the list. The list certain person. It means that if you don't have a lot of certainty and you ask someone to do the thing, the person may not do it because you are not certain. So how do you do that? First, when you ask someone to do something, you must be searching and you can put the emotion of certainty behind the words. So for example, if you say, could you do that, could you do that for me? Instead of saying, could you do that for me? And you're not really sure about what you ask, asking you add some certainty. Could you do that for me? You add the emotion of certainty behind it. So the more certain you are about what you are asking, the higher chances of influencing the other person it has. So what are the three things you are going to talk in terms of what you want them to do has to relate to the person. So if you have a vision for your company or your business or anything that you have. If you just say, Hey, I want you to do that because it can help you. It will help me make more money or it will help me achieve my goals. That's not a great way to influence people. But if you say, Hey, I would like to help me achieve my company goals. And it can also help your goals because you wanted to gain more experience in this company, or you wanted to get more marketing experience, or you want it to be able to learn how to manage your time effectively. If you're always relate your vision about what you want with the goals of the other person. And you can show that by taking action, the actions that you want. It can help your goals, but it can also help the goals of the other person that works really well. And then you are going to talk in terms of benefits and in terms of how it's going to remove their pain. So talking terms of benefits, you could say to that, to that, to that in turn, for example, and you want to influence him or her to help you. You can say, Hey, I would like some help with that report. And then you say, so, you want to relate to the person. You can say, I know that you want to have more experience here in this company. You are relating to the person, then the benefits. If you help me with that reports, I can coach you so that you can improve your writing skills. You are talking in terms of benefits. And then you can also remove the pain. Remove the pain means you can say, I know that you have this task that you don't like to clean the directional like cleaning the office. We can get the cleaning lady for that so that I can take you your brain and you can help me with that. Another example is that if you want to ask if your wife wants to go out tonight with you to have dinner. And you know that she style in that instead of saying, Hey, do you want to go out tonight? You say, Honey. Do you want to go out tonight? So you don't have to cook or we don't have to clean the dishes. You are removing the pain and then you're adding the benefits. And so we can spend quality time together away from the kids. You don't need always to use the pain and the benefits. You can use one or the other. It's always great to have one pain or one benefit. I'm not saying that. Just be careful here. I'm not saying that with the pain and the benefit, if you don't act, you're going to have pain. I'm going to give you a warning and going to hurt you. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying if you act and do what I want, It's going to remove one pain that you have, a pain that you have. And if you act to do what I want, you're going to gain some benefits from that. And on top of that is going to relate to your goals and your aspiration. That's a great way. So my question to you is, is that something that you would like to ask someone? What is their situation? It can be in your personal or professional life and you like to influence more that person. And if you think about the three things related to the person, think in terms of benefits and think in terms of removing the pain. How would you frame your question so that it matches the two or the three items here. That's your mission. 32. Day 31: Remember The Names: How to remember names. So I was really bad at remembering names like people would tell me the names and I would forget almost instantly. So happily for me, I learned some techniques. If you use their names, it can be their FirstName, LastName. Depending on the situation, it will bond with them faster because who calls you by your first name or your last name is people who are close to you. So when someone introduces themselves, you can use the name and repeat the name of the conversation to create this feeling of connection. So how can you remember the names if you are bad, like me? Number one, you can associate the name with someone that you know. For example, let's say that I talked to someone and they say that the name is Mark. I'm going to look for someone that I know in my life that is called Mark. And I have marked from university. So when I made that person, I'm going to associate the face of my friend Mark from university 2, the face of the new person. So that next time that I think about the face of this new person, I think about the face of my friend Mark, and I know that his name is Mark, number 2. You can fully listen to the name. Most of the time we don't remember the names because we are not fully present. We are thinking about what to say next or we're not fully listening to the information that the person is saying. So tip number 2, fully listen. Number three, you can repeat the name in your head. For example, if the person says, Hey, my name is Mark, you can repeat in your head, merc, merc, merc, merc, merc. Don't do it in a creepy way, but we repeat it in a few times so that it, so that you can record the name marked in your brain. Technique number 4, you use the name directly after. For example, if the person says, Hey, my name is Mark, can say Nice to meet you. Mark, My name is Alan and you use the name often in the conversation so that it will help you remember it. Yeah, mission for today is to think about one of the four techniques here that I've shared with you and apply it to a new interaction when you meet someone new so that you can remember their names. 33. Day 32: the Power Of Social Empathy: How to use the power of social empathy to increase your social success. So what does it mean, social empathy? It means that you understand the other person's point of view. You understand the other person's situation. And what works really well is when you want to deal with conflicts or when you want to influence someone, you can say, I understand. I understand that you are tired. Understand that she gave you best. Basically, you just state the situation that the person is in. I understand that you gave your best. Understand that you arrived late. Understand that it's not your fault. You show that you understand the other person's point of view. The other person situations, the other person's world. It's called social empathy. That works really well. You can also use that on yourself. Can say, Listen, I understand I made a mistake and stand. I arrived late. You show the other person that you understand that you understand what you did wrong, you understand what you can improve this and IAA. I understand. I made a mistake. I understand that. I didn't see I did that. Instead of that, you show that you understand what's going on. And it's really high social skills tool that you have here, is that if you have to deal with conflict and say, I understand your point of view, I understand why you say that. I understand what happened. Or for example, you want to ask someone to stay late to say, I understand that you are tired. I understand that you get your best. Understand that you are sick, and understand that so that you show empathy to the other person that works really well and people will respect, respect you more if you use social empathy. The second one is about showing a precision. When I was having dinner with Brian Tracy, We were talking and he said that he was loved in his company. Like people love him. And I said, ha, How come? And then he said, I always show appreciation. I always say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So if you have people around you, how much appreciation to you, show them. Do you always say, please. Thank you. Thank you for your great work. Thank you. Thank you. Can I have that, please? Okay. Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you for great work. Are you always rewarding people with appreciation and by being polite? If that's not the case, try things. Thank you. I'm often. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Someone gives you something. Thank you. Thank you. That doesn't hurt and it really makes an impact and it helps people respect you more and be more appreciated in your company. So try that. Try today to use the social empathy and that's your mission, you social empathy. And use the appreciation technique by saying, thank you, thank you, thank you. 34. Day 33: Your Voice: How to use your voice in social interactions. If you want to have a powerful voice, It's going to be a powerful tool to boost your social kids. So how can you have a great voice? The first thing is that dot doc tos clay project your voice. So what you can do that you can imagine that the person is one meter behind where the person actually is. So that you are going to talk a little bit louder and it will be the right volume of your voice. Then the intonations, Advice to a great intonations and bad detonations depending on the situation. But if you wanted to be great socially, the one iteration that you should try to avoid and its international trying for rapport, basically, at the end of the sentence or the question, your voice goes up. For example, where a firm way from trying fall apart, it means that you want to get an impression. You want the other person really to like you. So at the end it picks up super high. This is trying for a product, then you have neutral is like I'm talking to you right now. At the end, the intonation is neutral. So something here, it doesn't mean that when I say neutral, it doesn't mean that I'm talking like that and it's neutral. No, it's the end that is neutral. So I could be talking with a lot of emotions and at the end it's neutral. And you have the breaking rapport is like a policeman who talk to you, hey, I would like to papers please. At the end it goes down. In social interactions, you want to go to neutral than or maybe slightly down. But don't go trying for report. And when I became conscious or that it's totally transformed because I was always trying for rapport. Where are you from? Hey, can I meet you? Would you want to see me again? And I was always going up. And when you always go up, that way, it decreases your social value. So my suggestion for you would be to record yourself. So don't record yourself in your office or with your boss. That's not what I'm suggesting. But if you're with friends, say, Hey, can I record my voice with you? Or you are at home with your family and you can practice. And then you see your tone of voice. You see your intonation at the end if it goes up, middle, or down. And then you can improve. The more confidence you become, the less trying for rapport you will become you, you will be in. So that's why it's great to be aware and then listen how people are talking. People who have high social value, they are always talking to neutral and slightly breaking rapport. They're not going to try and further apart. So the more you practice, the more you become confident, the last train to rapport you we will go in. And the more automatic it will become, because the more you practice it consciously to a more natural it will be. So you mission today is to be aware of your voice, to record yourself. And let's say that you have permission to record. When you are in a situation, you can ask your friend or ask your family member or someone and then you record just to be aware, you must just know something is that maybe with your friend, you will have a neutral voice. But maybe with the person that you are in love, you will have a triumphal rapport, or maybe with the person that you are impressed by, you will have trying for rapport. So it changes according to the people that you talk to. But I would like you to be aware. And if you have a friend that is also aware that can tell you, hey, you when this interaction and you will always train for rapport, triumph non-neutral intonation at the end. That can help you. 35. Day 34: Be More Assertive: How can you become more assertive? What is assertiveness? It's when you share what you want, what you need, and what you feel with respect and integrity. Share what you want, what you need, what you feel with respect and integrity. You're not trying to attack the other person, you know, trying to put the other person's down. You're not trained to put the other the needs of the other person down and puts yours above them. Now, you're just sharing what you want, need fill with the other person and you're respecting their needs. Now, how can you do it like how can you give yourself permission? Because it's beautiful to have this definition. But how do you do that in real life? It's all about understanding that you have certain rights. You have the right to be assertive. And maybe with your education or the how, how, or your education or what happened with your friends or with people around you. They tell you that now you can not stand up for yourself, but you can. And I want to show you that at any moment in time, you actually making decisions. And that you could just transformed it, these decisions and stand up for yourself. Let me explain. We have the 50 percent rule. I controlled 50% of the interaction and you control 50 percent. So if a boss comes at me and gives me an order, he gives me his order in his 50 percent. And then in my 50 percent, I can say I accept. I don't accept. I accept, I don't accept. But it's in my control. I could say yes, I could say now someone gives me an advice. It's there 50%, I can say, okay, I'm going to take this advice. I'm not going to take this advice. Someone gives me a suggestion, someone gives me a conflict, someone gives me a problem. I can, I'm always in control to decide how I want to act. And if you want to become more assertive, you must understand that you are in control basically at any moment in time because you could say yes, no at any moment in time. So by giving yourself the rights to be assertive, you give yourself the rights to stand up for who you are for your ideas. The more you value who you are, the more you value ideas, the more you value your potential. And say, Hey, I'm going to share who I am with other people. I have the right to share my mind, my ideas, to speak up. You will become a better communicator. Now that doesn't mean that you are going to convince the other person of your ideas. You cannot control how the person is going to react to argue. You can control your 50 percent. So by being assertive is by, is by taking control back over your 50 percent. Say, hey, I have 50% in my power. I can say No, I don't want to do it. Yes, I want to do it. I'm not sure. It's in my 50 percent. I don't control what the person does. And there are many people who think that they can control by yelling or by commanding. That doesn't work really well. When the person is in front of you, they will do what you ask. But then when you are not there, that will procrastinate there, we'll talk behind your back. It will have critics. They will criticize the person. It doesn't work like that. What I want you to do is that just understand that you have the power to express who you are and unit are at the same level of the other person's needs. You are in a team meeting. You want to express your ideas. You have the right to express your ideas. You have the right to speak up. So, yes, there are certain company rules, maybe it's not the right moment, but as a human being, you have rights. And that's what I want to encourage you here, is that if you want to be more assertive, it all start by understanding that you can be more assertive. You can stand up. You can say what you want. You can express your ideas. As long as you have good intentions. You don't want to hurt the other person. You are allowed to express yourself. Now I know there are certain regulations and so on. Yeah, I know. But I want to say you could, you could, you could do it. So that's why here. I encourage you think about, about your life, about all the things that you have accepted or the thing that you've said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to do it. And now you reclaim your parents. Hey, maybe I'm not going to say yes that often. Maybe I'm going to speak about that or maybe I'm going to share my ideas more often. And that's my goal here today. That's your mission to think about one situation in your life where you would like to express yourself more. Is it our work? Is it in, is it with your family? Is it with your friends? And you think about that, and then you give yourself permission to express yourself. You share your idea, you share your opinion, you share who you are with the other person, give yourself permission to do it. 36. Day 35: Learn To Say No: Would you like to learn to say no more often? So most people think that by saying no, that will be rejecting the person. Most people think that by saying no, there will be less loved, there will be less liked. And that's why they always say yes, because they owe. If I say yes, people will accept me, people will like me, and sometimes people take advantage of those people. So I I understand I was in this situation, I was always saying yes, yes, yes, because I want people to like me. But at the end our hour, I was tired. I didn't have any energy. I was always accepting everyone's requests and at the end, I was not living my life. So how can you say no more often? The first thing that you must understand is that when you say No, we are not rejecting the person. We are rejecting the request. When someone says, Can you do something, you don't reject the person, you reject the request. So that helps you to say, Oh, I'm not rejecting someone and they're rejecting someone. Something that they are asking. When they ask something. You don't know the answer yet. Don't answer. Because if you are not sure and you don't know, most people will tend to say yes. So if you want to learn to say no more often, you just say, Okay, you listened to what the person has to say and then you can even tell them. Thank you. Thank you so much for the information. I have to think about that. I'm going to I'm going to get back to you by tomorrow. And then you take time to think about the thing that will help you. Because otherwise you will be doing things because you're not sure if you should be doing them or not, and you will be doing things because you are not sure, okay? The other great advice is, repeat the sentence. For example, if someone said, hey, can you do that? And then you say, I'm sorry, I can't because I have this family dinner. And then some people will put pressure by repeating again. And that happened to me many years ago. I had a friend who wanted me to go to a party and I had to record an online training so I couldn't. And he said, Hey, do you want to go to this party? And sorry, I can't have to record an awning train. Hey, do you want to get to this on to this party because blablabla I'm sorry. I can't I have to go I have to record a nine train. Yeah. Yeah. But do we want to go there that I'm sorry, I can't I have to record online training. Most people would try forcing by repeating again. And what you do, you repeat the same sentence, or you repeat a variation of that sentence, that works really, really well. Another great advice is to define what's important to you or not. Is it something that you have to do or not? Is it your role, your role, and your responsibility? Or is it the other person's responsibility? Do you want to help the other person or not? Is it serving you? Is it serving new goals? When someone asks you to do something, is it helping you? Are you helping a friend? Is, is it aligned with who you want to be, with, your goals, with your aspirations? And if the answer is no, most of the time you can say no to the person. You do. You're not rejecting the other person. You're just saying no. You are you are rejecting the request. And when you say no to someone, don't wait for validation. For example, not say no, sorry. I can't say no, sorry, I can't don't wait for the approval of the other person. Just say no, you cannot do it. And sometimes most people, they will give an excuse, say, I'm sorry, I can't because I have this work to do. And if you give an excuse, a really detailed excuse, what can happen is that the person can say, Oh, I can help you with that report so that you can drive me to the airport. And so give a reason about why you can't why you don't want to do it or you can't do it, but don't be too detailed because then the person can help you overcome that with codeine, the person can just tell you. Now I am going to help you with that so that you can help me with my thing. So your challenge today is to say no one's be careful if it's at work or if it's your boss asking you to do something and you have to do it, don't use it. But if you go to a bar, if you go to somewhere, a social place and someone asked you to do something and you don't want to do it. Instead of saying, y'know, maybe say, I'm sorry, no. Just to be used to saying no. And you will see that you will be able to save a lot of time to do the thing that really matter to you and the things that you truly want. 37. Day 36: Your Last Impression: How to make an amazing last impression. Most people focus too much on the first impression. And there is also the last impression that is really important. Because how you end the interaction will have a high impact on what people will perceive of you. So if you live on, if, if you lived during a moment where the conversation is down awkward, the person may associate this filling with you. So what you can do instead is leave the interaction on a high note. It means that if you're having a great time, you are, you are laughing, you're having a great time. That's the perfect moment to leave. Don't wait for the conversation to go down. To leave. You want to live on a high note so that the person wants to see you again because they say, Oh my God, we're having a great time. And then the person left. Not, hey, we're having an awkward silence and then the person left, you see the difference. So when you having high-energy, when you, when you are laughing, when you fill the risk discrete energy, thus the perfect moment to leave. So don't leave at the beginning. But if it's towards the end and say how this is the perfect moment to leave, leave on a high note. Now what happens if you are on the low note and you have to leave, You want to re-initiate something. That's what's said in the interaction. That gave a high note. For example, if you made a joke or if you talk about something that you are really passionate about, both of you, you can talk a little bit again about that thing so that you can re-initiate that great emotion and then say, Hey, I'm sorry, I have to go because blablabla. And then you leave on that high note so that people will have an amazing impression of you because they say, oh, we specify left and we're having such a great time. So don't forget the last impression is as important as the first impression. So the challenge today is to leave an interaction on a high note. To be conscious of that say, Oh, I'm going to go with my friends with these people here. I'm going to approach these people. How can I leave the interaction on a high note and when can I leave the interaction so that it's on the high note? Try it and you will see that you socialize. We'll go through the roof. 38. Day 37: Your Social Cheerleader: How to be a social cheer leader. So what you tell yourself in your mind will impact the quality of your relationships. If you're always saying, Oh Alan, you're going to fail, you're going to fail. You're going to say You are ugly all know, you're going to get rejected. Whatever you tell yourself will impact your success. So it's important that you become first aware of what you tell yourself during interactions and then you learn how to improve it. So the first step is about going into an interaction and just listening to the voice inside of you. Listening to what you tell yourself. And you can even take a piece of paper and you write down what goes in your mind, what you tell yourself. And if you do that, you will become aware and you will see that most of the time it's things that are not serving you. It seemed that are things that are pretty negative. It thinks that you wouldn't even tell a friend. But you allow yourself to tell that. For example, when I was starting with improving my social skills, I would that Alan, you're going to fail Alan, you're ugly Alan. You have fat Island. And I was telling me that and I accepted that. And I wouldn't tell that to a friend. Because if I tell a friend you have fat, you are going to fail. If the person is not going to get some results, are going to be my friend for for long. So be aware and then ask yourself this question. Would you say that to a friend? If the answer is no, why do you say that to yourself? And encourage you? Imagine that you are a cheerleader. Like most people in the world, they are trained to put you down. Most people, they don't have bad intentions, but some people do and they will try to put you down. So if you already do that job for you, for, for, for them, if you already put yourself down, It's not going to help. So, imagine that you are your own cheerleader. You are encouraging you to be the best version of yourself. Say, hey Allen, you are going to do it, you're going to accomplish, you are going to succeed. Have a more positive talk. What works really well is to have five sentences to encourage you. For example, I have one, which is Alan, everything's gonna be OK. Allen, just do it. I have this five sentence here, our printed on a desk. So I'm used to the sentence here. So when I go out and I have to approach someone, I would go along. You can do it and you can do it alone. You have the best. Alan, let's go ahead and let's go ahead and let's go. And it's more encouraging that, Oh my God, discussion is going to reject me. So my challenge to you is to first be aware of your self-talk and then create this five sentences that can encourage you so that when you are down, when you are stressed, you take this be small card where you have written you five sentences and you read them out loud and say, oh, it's going to be okay, Alan, let's do it. And then you say it. Now something that is super important. We discussed like words or 7%, 92 percent is non-verbal. It also works between the conversation between u and u. So if I say hadn't, Let's do it. Alan. You can do it. And I don't believe it. The brain will say, oh, should I trust what he says? Or the nonverbal, should I trust the 7% or the 93, and the brain would go for the 93 percent. So when you say something, you have to share the emotion, say it with emotion, say add, and let's do it. Let's do it. You put your emotions behind your words. Johnson, just saying you had Allen. Let's do it because it won't work. But if you say Alan, let's do it with the emotions, it's going to work better. So when you read your cards in your, in your mind, put a lot of emotion, of positive emotion, and it will work like a charm and your behavior will be more positive and social success will be huge. 39. Day 38: Be A Better Leader: How to be a better leader? So if you want to lead people, he must first be clear on where you want to go and then well, you want to lead people. And most leaders that are not really clear. The say, Oh, we're going to go that way and then that way and then that way. And then people got tank, I get tired. As a leader, it's your job to rethink, to sit down and think about the vision where you want to go. And then it's your job to show the other person how they can join your vision and what they will get if they follow you. And your job is to show them what's the next step is because you are the leader, you have the vision, but they don't know how they, how they are going to get there. They don't know they need you. They need a leader. So it's your job to show them, Listen you to achieve that vision that you also care about because it will help you, it will help your life in that way. We have to do that, that, that, that, that this is how you can do it. This is how I can help you. And you show them, you show them the way. And when you are leading people, you are going to encourage them. You're going to support them, you're going to appreciate them. You are going to take care of them. And most leaders, they just say, Oh, this is what we want to go. I'm a leader. Now, you have to lead the people because without the people you are not a leader. So it's important that you take care of the people that you lead, that you reinforce good behavior. Say hey, I appreciate that. I know it's difficult, but you did a great job. I know that you did your best. This is how you could do it better. You share some feedback and you inspire people to follow you by showing them the next step. And you connect your vision to their goals and say, Oh, listen, you have this goal here. You want to be more outgoing or you wants to work in marketing. If you work for me and I can help you improve your marketing skills. It can also help the goals of my company. And you show them, you appreciate them. And it's really powerful when you connect your vision with the goals and the vision of the people around you. You show them that by taking action for you. It will also connect their goals and their vision with your vision. And then it becomes a win-win situation. And both of you can Whitman. So this leadership here is more a video and inspiration video of what kind of leader do you want to become? You want to become a leader, say, Hey, you have to do it, you have to do it. Or to inspire people. To inspire people with your dreams, with their goals, and connect everything together and show them the next step. You support them, you appreciate them. You show them that it's possible. You encourage them, and yet you show them that is possible. As a leader, you have to show first so that people can follow. And you have to walk the talk. If you want people to arrive early, show up early, not arrive late. People have to see that you do the things. When people see a behavior. They can trust the behavior more and then they can execute on that behavior. When I say, Hey, I want everyone to stay late, and then you, and then you leave super early. People are not going to follow me as a leader. You have to show first so that people can follow. So my question to you is, what is something that you have liked in his video? Write it down on a piece of paper on how you could improve your leadership style to be more effective. 40. Day 39: Remember Your Greatness: Remember your greatness. You are awesome. You are amazing. And maybe you have forgotten that the human brain is amazing, but also we forget all the great things that we have accomplished. We try to focus on the things that we lack in life. But why? If you focus on everything that have already accomplished in life? What if you focus on why you are great? Why do you have value as a human being focused on that? So my suggestion here would be to do the 100 sentences exercise. It's an amazing exercise that will remind you of how crazy Chihuahua. You take a piece of paper and you make 100 sentences. And it starts with, I have value as a human being because I'm great. Because I'm great because it can be anything. I'm great because I'm a good father and great because I got my message green and great because I work at that corporation and great because I make a lot of money and great because I have blue eyes. I am great because everything that you like that you think that you are great. You write it down. And when you do that, you will start doing that and you will maybe find a few sentences. And then the more you do it, the more you will allow yourself to just remind of how great you are. When I did this exercise, I was really uncomfortable. I wrote like three sentences and then I stopped. And then I had to lock myself in a room, say, Okay, I'm only going to come out when I have these 100 sentences. And by showing that, by showing you bring that you're angry. It's because any show that it, we, it rewires your brain to remind you of how awesome you are, how awesome you are. The fact that you are watching this video here means that you wanted to improve your social skills. And 99 percent of people don't do it. They don't even know it's possible and they don't want to do it. But you are here Watching that, watching design training. And for that reason you are an amazing person. And it's your job to remind yourself of that. Because then if you remind that you're a great person, you can share this greatness with other people. It can inspire other people. You can become a great leader for the ones that you love. You can inspire them. You can interact with people in your personal or professional life. And then they will say, Oh my God, Like you, you are amazing. You gave me value giving you, gave me information. You gave me, hope you give me an inspiration, you give me anything. That's why I want to tell you here, remind yourself of this greater. So make this list of 100 things about why you are great piece of paper. And then you write down, I'm great because I have greatness because all you can write, I have value as a human being because and you make a list. And no matter how small the things are. For example, I wrote, I'm great because I have blue eyes. I like my blinds. Who, who cares? I care, I care about. That's important for me. So I wrote it down. It's it's your time with yourself. It's not. Okay. Yeah, but maybe this person has better eyes than me. I don't care. It's your time. You write down these sentences and if you want, you can even send them to me. I would be honored to read them. So do these exercises will really help you. 41. Day 40: Your Ultimate Challenge: The ultimate challenge. So I'm so honored because this is the last video. It means that you have watched the whole course. I hope you have watched the whole course. And now the ultimate challenge, I would like you to approach five people. And it's the five people that you always wanted to approach, but you were afraid of approaching. You thought they were outside of your league, even personally or professionally. Now it's the time to approach and have an interaction with them. I would love to get feedback on how it went. It means that you have all the tools that you need right now. You have all the trees have more than enough social skills and communication skills techniques in your arsenal that you could just say, Oh, I have to approach that person is just about applying. So if you don't have the confidence CSER, I'm just going to wait a little bit. You can retake this course or maybe there are some videos that say, oh, this video was really great to have to watch it again. And you watch that video again. And then you say, Oh, this was the technique number 123. And then how can I apply that to my own life? And then you write down, you always think how can we apply that to my own life? And I know that there are made that it's a lot of tools, but you don't need to start with all of them. Start with some of them. And then when they become automatic, when you implement them, you can add other skills on it. But my goal here is really five people that you always wanted to approach. And you take action. Because it's by taking action with these important people that you live can transform it. And if you don't have better social skills is because you want to connect with people. Maybe you want to attain your personal and professional goals. There is one goal that you have, an issue we interact better with people. It will take your whole life to the whole level. To the whole level. So go ahead, take massive action socially. And if you have any questions, don't hesitate. There is a place where we can ask the questions around, so don't hesitate. I would be really happy to review your questions and personally answer them. So go ahead, take massive action. And it was an honor to have you here in this course. I wish you all the social success that you would ever need. Have a great day.