Double Your Communication & Assertiveness - 30 Minute Guide | Alain W. | Skillshare

Double Your Communication & Assertiveness - 30 Minute Guide

Alain W.

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8 Lessons (19m)
    • 1. Promo

      0:30
    • 2. Intro

      0:20
    • 3. Become Assertive

      3:48
    • 4. Non verbal communication

      3:41
    • 5. Paraphrasing

      1:44
    • 6. See the big picture

      2:49
    • 7. Master your emotions

      2:14
    • 8. Communicate with confidence and charisma

      3:52

About This Class

Would you like to communicate better with people?

Would you like to learn how to deal with conflicts?

Would you like to learn how to become more assertive?

My name is Alain Wolf and I am a communication expert. I have already helped more than 60'000 people in 16 countries to become more confident and develop better social skills.

In this course, you will learn how to communicate better with people, how to deal with conflicts, how to have a confident body language and how to become more assertive.

I have shared with you my most powerful communication tools and techniques in this course.

Go ahead, enroll in this course.

Transcripts

1. Promo: would you like to learn how to communicate better with people, how to deal discomforts and how to become or searching? I would like to share with you in the 13 years course my best tools and techniques on how we can communicate better with people. My name is around, and I have already had more than 60,000 people in over 16 countries to become a confidence , and they've lot better communications kids. And now, if you give me permission, I would like to coach. So go ahead and roll in this course it's free. 2. Intro: so hi. And welcome to this course. So, in this course, I want to share with you my best complications techniques in 30 minutes. So I would do my best to share with you all the advice that I have on how you can communicate better with people on how you can deal with conflict and how you can become more a searching. So let's jump right in. 3. Become Assertive: So now let's talk about how you can become more assertive. So becoming a cerci means that you will share you needs with the other person, but in a nice way and not in an aggressive way. So I would like to illustrate that with an example. So I months ago, I went to my gym and I forgot to pay the membership fee. And when they are right at the gym and I gave my car, the person at the reception said, Oh, you didn't pay the feet. You're not allowed to enter the jeep. You have to pay right now. Otherwise I will remove your membership. And he was really aggressive. So he was being assertive because he was sharing his needs, that where I had to pay. But at the same time, he was doing that in a way that was not nice. So if you want to become a searching, I encourage you to share your needs. But do it in a nice way. How I would have done that. I wish I would dress. That said, Oh, there is an issue here. I see that the last payment didn't go through. Would it be possible for you to pay it today or tomorrow when you come back. I shared my needs. I waas assertion, and I was nice. So you see here, start understanding how you can become a surgeon. So there is something really powerful that you can use and it's empathy. And that means that you understand the other person's point of view. So let's see, that's what work. And you like the person to do a test so you could just approach someone and say any what? You know what, Frank? Um, I have detailed This does here That is really important, and I understand that you have a lot off work, but I would like it. I would like you to make that your top priority. Have a simple tight I did here. I said, I understand that you have a lot of fork. It's something that is re perfect so that you can become a 30 the person says, Oh, the person understands me. So that's how you can really share your needs with other people. And you can use empathy with almost anything. You approach people and they're having a conversation. You can say hi Sorry for interrupting I know that you are having a conversation, but I wanted to say hi, or you have something that you want to do or something that you want to ask someone and the person may be angry at at you or any other situation. US. Empathy. You just say what the person is feeling, and you just show the other person that you understand their situation and their point of view. So really, really powerful here. If you want to become more assertive, sometimes you'll have to remind people about their responsibilities. It means that you may be arguing with someone or you may be talking to someone, and then they would just say, Oh, that's not my fault. What? That's not my work. And sometimes you just have to say, I understand that you didn't have time to do it. But remember, it's your responsibility. It's your task to do it. So in the future, I would like you to get the job done. See what I did here. I reminded the person off the responsibility, so sometimes we have to do that. But do it in a nice way. Use empathy and you can even say thank you and please it works when you ask someone you want to become a searching Just say please and thank you because the other person is human . So if you are friendly to the other person, the person will react in a bed away. So use. Please use. Ah, sorry, Pools. I apologize. Use whatever you have to use just to be polite and you will see that it will really help you become our city. 4. Non verbal communication: So now let's talk about the nonverbal communication, so it's really important. What I encourage you to do is to have a great body language that is confidence and that he's relaxed. My first advice to you would be to breathe deeply. You were in Hebei, the nose XY by the mouth and you try to breathe with your belly. It means that if you have to communicate to give a presentation toe, go to a job interview or to do something that is stressful, and you must really communicate in a great way. Brief DP before you will be able to come down. Also, it can be a stupid advice, but when you're talking to someone, don't forget to breathe because most people are stressed and the will and the wants have the deep breath. And what you want to do is really breath deeply. So do that when you direct, you will see that your body language will be more relaxed. Then what you can do to become a confident Ask yourself this question. How would a confident person behave and try to copy the posture off a confident person and the person will be the Superman posture Howie Corey. It means that you open your chest, your shoulders back. You headed straight. Imagine that you have a string pulling you to the sky and you be proud. Be proud off vehicle off Being confident when you move your hand gestures doesn't have to be stressed. Imagine that you are under water. Imagine that you move slowly. This is the body language of someone who is confident. It means that I would be talking and slowly moving my hands. I want to be doing like that. No, I will be grounded and slowly I would be talking, moving my heads. You can maintain eye contact when you talk to people you want. Toe show carries man confidence. Maintain eye contact. It's really important you get us a sniper because someone who smile is associate ID with being warm, being friendly and has really great emotions associated to that. So don't forget to smile when you communicate to people. Also, don't forget to feel great emotions. I know I say that all the time, but it's so important to fill great emotions if you have to listen to some great music if you have to jump. If you have tow walk. You have to go outside. You have to call a friend. You have to call you lover if you have to do something that puts you in a great mood before communicating to people doing because it's really packed your body language. So there are two ways to change. But in English, the first way is to change your mindset and how you feel and have this confidence feeling that well then sent your body language and the other way is to change, affects your body language. And then it will change how you feel. You can try that right now. You just imagine that you are a non confident person. How is your body language? And immediately you see a body language like that. How did you know how to do it? Because the mindset and the body language is linked. So I asked you toe picture someone not confident. So you mindset when's to non confidence So changed. So you bought the language tension. So what? You can do it your phone to change your body language. You think about a confident person. How would my confidence self behave and immediately after you will have the posture off a confident person so really, really powerful here 5. Paraphrasing: So in this video, I'd like to share with you a really powerful communication techniques. So it's about repeating what the person said just to be sure that you understood it went. So when I was an assistant toe on entrepreneurship professor at university, he gave me instructions, and I thought that I understood them well and I did the opposite. So at the end, he was not really happy. So this is an extreme example. But maybe in your life, your boss are your coworker, or someone gave you instructions and your misinterpreted it or you didn't understood it well, So why they encourage you to do is when someone gives you instruction, you dressed, summarize it. You just say so just to be sure that I understood wet, I must do number one number two, number three, number four, Number five, and then send it back to you. I'm all right, and the person said yes or no. It's better if the person says no right now before you start doing the task, because then the person will give you the right instruction or we'll give you more information so really powerful to make your safe time when people give instructions, they have all the knowledge in their brain, and they think that you also have this knowledge in your brain. So maybe the instructions that someone will give won't be really clear because they think that you know as much as them repeating and some and summarizing what was said. It's really powerful and will save you a lot of time off energy, and you will become a great communicator with that. 6. See the big picture: So if you want to communicate with people better and learn how to deal with conflicts, it's important that you see the big picture. So let's illustrator, let's say logically got to write a report and put it on your desk by 6 p.m. And now you see that 6 p.m. And the report is not there. You could go and start yelling at the person and saying, Oh, what what happened? It's 6 p.m. And the report is no there and start creating a conflict with the person. But what I encourage you to do it was to try to see the big picture, because maybe something came up. Maybe the person had a situation, a difficult situation or maybe something happened. So try to look for information toe, understand the situation before drawing conclusions. So how I would approach a situation like that is that I would approach the person and I would just ask, where is the report in a non aggressive way? And I would just ask if something came up or I would try to understand what happened, and maybe the person we say that his boss or hair bus told Harold auto him that there was something more important and that the report will be there at 7 p.m. So by understanding and by having the big picture, you will be able to avoid a lot of conflicts because sometimes we draw conclusions too fast . We see that the report is not there, and we may say the person does not respect me or the person doesn't care. But maybe something came up. Maybe something happened. So try to understand the situation or its instead off your desk. Maybe the person left it at the reception. You don't really know what happened, so try to understand it. Another advice also would be to understand the other person's point of view, because when people act, they all have a motivation. They all have needs. They all have reasons for acting. So if you understand, and if you see that someone didn't do something off, someone acted in a certain way. Try to understand why try to find the motivation, the reason behind it, because we are all humans and sometimes we do things that we regret, or sometimes we do think that we think OK, but it's not in a company in a fume or in a personal life. So try to understand, to talk to people in a calm way and understand what is going on and what happened really become. You don't need to yell or to be aggressive. It just become, and you will see that you will really be able to deal with conflicts in a better way. 7. Master your emotions: So if you like to deal with conflicts in an effective way, it's important that you learn how to master your emotions. Have you ever been in a situation where you were really emotional? You were arguing with someone and you said things or you did things that you regret it later? We have already there. So agreed. Advice that I can give you is that when you start getting emotional, you are arguing with someone and you are getting emotional. Just take a step back. You can even tell the person you know what? I'm really emotional right now. I just want to relax. I just want toe come me down. I just want to take time to think about it. I will come back later. It's something that you can say and the person will understand so that you can really take time to think about what to say. Another example would be that you receive a name, A from a co worker and it really pisses you off. You are really angry. Instead, off replying right away with the anger and with the oldest negative emotion, just replied, The next thing it's something that I do all the time when I get a new email that really makes me angry or that I really don't like and I would like to tell really mean things to the person. I don't do it because I will be tweeting every be too emotional and maybe I missing the president's. Or maybe I didn't understand. Well, maybe our start. So it means that when you enter these negative emotions, you want to be able to think clearly. So if you want to deal with conflicts in an effective way, you must understand that your emotions, maybe something that will harm you if you are always listening to emotions and you go with the negative emotions and you really amplify this negative emotion and you throw these negative emotions into the into the person. So be really careful with that. Take time to think about it, to think about what to say and talk to people when you are not really emotional, and when you relaxed and you think in a more Klay way, you will see that it will really help you 8. Communicate with confidence and charisma: So now let's talk about how you can communicate with charisma and confidence, so it's not something that you should learn. But it's something that you should access that is inside you, because I'm sure that if you think about it, you were already able to communicate with confidence and charisma in certain situations. Maybe it was with your friends. Maybe it waas with your family with your co workers or in any other situation, so you knew how to do it. But now maybe you are stressed, or there is a situation that you are a little bit uncomfortable and you don't have this charisma and this confidence. So what I would like you to do is to remember time when you felt confidence and charismatic in an interaction, maybe even if it's what it was 10 years ago. I would like you to remember that, and to access this feeling off confidence and charisma, because if you want to communicate with confidence and charisma, it start first by feeling confidence and charisma in your body. So great way to do that is to remember time when you felt confidence and charismatic. If you are struggling to do that I would like you just to imagine how confidence and charismatic person would feel so just dry run up. How would a charismatic and confident person feel and just try to steal these emotions? Try to feel the emotion off confidence and try to feel the emotion off carries. And it should be something that's you should train you bite to do because learning how to feel emotions off confidence, charisma, positive emotion would really help you when you would be communicating with people. Most people are not aware that it's really important because 90% between a conversation between people is nonverbal and it comes from the emotion that you have. And then it will manifest itself through the body language, your voice smile, eye contact and all the other non verbal cues. So how you feel it's important. Most people focus too much on what to say. What you say can be important, but it's only 7%. And what I would like you to fix or to improve is how you feel. Feel this feeling off charisma and confidence, and you will see that your communication will really go to another level. So if you are still struggling to do that. I'd like you to just close your eyes and do that. We just close your eyes and they're like, You just tow. Imagine a situation that happened and where you were really confident. Just try to imagine try to find the situation and try to imagine with bright colors. Imagine that you are the actor and then imagine who was there where the people were there. People talking where there any smells Where There, things that coach you attention. Try to relieve the experience. And then when you get the feeling, I would like you to just embrace the feeling that can be the feeling of confidence and charisma and you enhance in your body. And when you have done that, I've like you just to communicate to someone. Call a friend or talk to your partner. Talk to someone home and you will see that the way that you will communicate will be charismatic and confident. That's it. That's how you can communicate with confidence and charisma. So practice feeling these emotions of confidence and charisma. Often the more you practice, the easier it will be, because now I can go from someone who is charismatic to someone who is depressed in a few seconds because I was am able to access different emotions. So if you're not used to it, do that often and you would see it would really help you.