Declutter Your Mind with Self Care | Emilio y Samantha KWPOrganizers | Skillshare
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19 Lessons (1h 36m)
    • 1. Promo Video

      1:40
    • 2. Course Intro

      2:00
    • 3. Why Selfcare Is Important

      5:14
    • 4. Definition of Selfcare

      1:37
    • 5. Signs That Self care Is Needed

      4:04
    • 6. Creating Your Self care Plan

      6:26
    • 7. Making Room For Self care

      8:47
    • 8. Setting Goals

      5:54
    • 9. How To Get Goals Done

      6:07
    • 10. Using a Timer

      2:50
    • 11. Ideas to Create To Do Lists

      3:44
    • 12. Morning Rituals

      4:54
    • 13. 7 Ingredients for An Extraordinary Life

      7:31
    • 14. Multitasking vs Singletasking EXERCISE

      4:56
    • 15. Stress Test Exercise How much stress are you experiencing

      3:04
    • 16. Declutter your mind with mind mapping

      4:49
    • 17. Top Ten Self Care Activity Tutorial

      2:23
    • 18. Great TED TALK - How to practice emotional first aid Guy Winch

      17:28
    • 19. Next Steps

      2:04

About This Class

One-time Investment, Lifetime Benefits!

A lack of understanding of your own personal self care can lead you to feel depressed, anxious, and hopeless in how to feel well.

As an alternative to traditional therapy, this course aims to overcome all 3 of those challenges, by guiding you through what self care is AND practical strategies for creating your very own self care plan. 

By the end of this course, you will be able to: 

  • Identify your own needs and taking steps to meet them efficiently.
  • Create your own self care plan.
  • Reduce time-wasters and distractions.
  • Understand the relationship between physical clutter and mental clutter and get started with the decluttering process.

There are many benefits to understanding self care.  You become a more aware and empowered person to manage your own health. You will develop positive habits that reinforce this new way of living, so it’s a life-long investment of your time spent learning.

Your ability to be open-minded and change your current behavior will have a positive ripple effect in all areas of your life including work, relationships, and overall mental health. 

This course is designed for anyone, regardless of experience level, who wishes to better understand self care. 

You’ll learn how to define and recognize the need for Selfcare, but also how to apply strategies to manage your depression and anxiety. By the end of this course, you’ll have valuable skills that will help you feel confident in living a healthy lifestyle.

Transcripts

1. Promo Video: Hi. Welcome to, of course, on a self care and learning about alternative therapies for depression and anxiety. My name. Samantha Christoffersen. And together we are kw professional organizer's. We have been in the field of professional organizing for the last five years. I've worked with hundreds of clients. Yeah, tell her passion to share with others. How to make time for self care on how to find out what works for you. So we designed this course to basically describe to you the breakdown of what self care is mental health, the activities that you could do, templates that you can fill out and all the things in between to learn about self care. To practice a time for yourself to look after your mental health. You don't need to have any experience. Just need to be willing to try something your friend. And if you're not feeling great, this can be a tool that can help you feel better so often times we found with the people that we have worked with. That therapy is one great method for starting to get a handle on things like depression, anxiety or other mental health issues. But the thing that's missing is what do you do in your actual environment? And that's where experience of being professional organizers can really come and help you is that we are able to say Okay, we know that you're feeling down. And how is your physical environment affecting? Our goal is to find what excites you, whatever you cuties, that that brings you joy and then try to set up the right space on the right mindset for you to make time to schedule it in your calendar to make it happen. So we hope you have enjoyed this brief description of the course overview. Have a look at some of the sample videos below on. We hope to see you on the inside. You in vain site. 2. Course Intro: Hi, My name is Samantha. Hi, My name is Emilio. Today we're gonna be talking with you of self care. This course is designed share with you a tool to help you set up your own self care plan and to really set the definitions of what self care is all about. For us, of care means violence. Circular means finding the activities that make you feel well. I identify him when you are not feeling well and knowing what to do is really important to have a balanced life and to be able to give your best in every situation. So that's why we believe are organizing can help you to say strategies that we have you with self care. We've been professional organizers for five years. We've been operating our own business and we travel quite a bit. Emilio's from Barcelona. I'm originally from Canada and we met New Zealand s. So we have some really interesting stories about how we discovered different techniques for finding self care for ourselves. And we chose this studying. We needed a break. We needed to step away from our regular everyday life and find a little bit of self care for ourselves, which is why we're here in Tobermory, Ontario. It's a beauty of a place I can't explain to you. But you can see behind us just how how peaceful and tranquil it can be in this situation. I can tell you that when we were driving up, yes, gaining ourselves out of our routine on our normal environment, help us be inspired and motivated to do all the things that we normally don't do. And that's where we have decided to record this course here because I'm pretty sure you're going to get inspired by what we have in the background. So if you've ever heard of the term nature bathing, that's definitely what we're gonna do with you in this course on. Don't be intimidated if you haven't heard about that term. Essentially, it just means get out in nature, really slow things down a little bit so that you're able to de clutter your mind and focus and prioritize on the things that are truly important to you. So thanks for joining us on this course, and we look forward to telling you more about self care. You in the next media 3. Why Selfcare Is Important: so we're diving into why self care is important. I wasn't really aware of the term self care until I took a course called Mental Health First Aid. And it really opened my eyes to a lot of the different afflictions that happened with mental health but also the importance of being able to recognize signs before there's mental health crises and the triggers that can set you off to feeling stressed. Feeling anxious, feeling overwhelmed, feeling unmotivated. And so that course for me. Really? I didn't help me identify that the things that I was already doing in my regular life and made me more aware of what my triggers were. And then we're going to share with you later about how you can kind of build an action plan for if you start to feel anxious, overwhelmed, tired, stressed out the things that you can do to prevent it to prevent a burnout, which no one really likes to be in that kind of situation. But I'm sure if you're if you're learning about this course, you probably experienced a few of those symptoms. Yeah, one of the main questions. Well, with care from people, he's up. How do we get started? I don't really know how to even embrace itself into my life. And that's not really a question. It's not way. All know when we feel bad. It's very difficult to remember when we feel good. Why is that happening? Why? We're feeling well. So the first thing that you need to do is to start monitoring. When are you feeling well on? When are you not cream? Well, and then what are you doing in those situations? Who are you with? What activities are in which environment. So once you start diving into God process, you will start identifying. Oh, I'm always feeling well when I'm doing this or when I am here or when I am with this person . And I am feeling really bad when I'm doing this. I'm they're aligned with that person. And then you will start questioning. Why? Why is that happening? Wide way feeling that way. And that's kind of held. You start identifying those things. Another exercise that is really good. These start experimenting exposures to something new, something different that you normally don't do. Yes, said at a time like okay this week and going to try these or in the next three months, I'm going to, yes, experiment, new things, new activities. I'm gonna meet new people and going to take new courses. Whatever that means for you. Start monitoring how you feel, and then you will start finding out what works for you. And then you will be able to start building that recipe. That's gonna help. You have to have a balanced life. There are some some people who tend to give so much of themselves all the time, and they forget to look after the person that is themselves on. We always use the analogy. If you've ever gone on a plane, they always say, when the oxygen oxygen mask drops from the ceiling, you were to put your oxygen mask on yourself first before helping anyone else on the plane . And that being you're no good to anyone if you don't have oxygen to breathe. So it's the same with self care. It's really important to fill your cop to feel well yourself Before you're ever able to help someone else. You're coming from a place of feeling good, as opposed to if you're already overworked. If you're already overwhelmed and you try to help someone. You might be able to lose your patients more quickly or start to feel resentment on none of those things you want to do. But it's because you're not helping yourself first. And it's not about ego. It's not saying that you're ignoring everyone else's plate instead of your own. It's about making sure that you're looking after yourself so that you can be your best self around other people. The things that self care can help with is making sure that you're not taking those periods of burnout and and then that affecting the rest of your life. So monitoring again those triggers those warning signs. And as Emilio said, you have to learn what those are. You have to start being more conscious and more aware of what those signs are so that you can prevent them in this cause. We want to have you to be that self care kid for yourself, with all the steps, all the activities that you can do to make a ship to make yourself feel better. I want to say from my own experience, it is really easy to forget about this. It is really easy to rule the world put it somewhere and then life gets PC. Kids work household chores. Life is based in general, and it's really easy to get. Get busy on, Just forget. So it's really important to have at least somewhere that you can see it and always remember , when you don't feel well, look at at least and just do something from that leads that doesn't require a lot of time. In my case, every time I feel bad, I forget that I can go for a walk with myself just five minutes. It's enough to calm me down. Five minutes. It's enough to solve that problem that I was stuck with for the past three hours. I just go for a work. I just do something that inspires me. It relaxes me on all the silent. I go back to that activity without challenge, and I have a completely different perspective. So, yes, keep that in mind. It's very easy to forget on. This is a constant work. It's gonna be a concept work for the rest of your life, but it's really rewarding, and it could be enjoyable. This is something that's supposed to be a bit empowering it's a bit inspiring. You can become someone who is your own mental health First Datar, and we encourage you to keep watching. 4. Definition of Selfcare: So just to make sure that we're all in the same level way want to define what we believe Self Kerry is on. The definitions were pulling from our from the mental health first aid course. But what you can generally find in and around the Internet when you type in the word self care, so self care is care provided for you by you. So as we mentioned in the intro to this course, it's about identifying what makes you feel well. It's about identifying your needs and taking time to meet them. Now. It's not as simple as a one fix cure all. For each person, it looks very differently on self care can mean I feel really well and myself. Care is going out and running 10 kilometers every morning because that's what gets me feeling well. But for someone else, that seems like a nightmare, and their self care might mean grabbing an essential oil and having a bath at the end of the day. And that's their self care. There is not one fixed picture for self care, so as we said, it's something that you have to identify what your needs are, and then you could build yourself care plan around that South carries about taking proper care of yourself so that you are able to treat others as kindly as you like to be treated. So now that we've got the South Korea definition under under wraps way encourage you to really try and start being conscious and being aware and being mindful of what yourself carry is, and we'll dive into how you can explore building out a plan for that later on in the course . 5. Signs That Self care Is Needed: in this video, I want to share with you some signs and triggers that will help you identify when self care is needed. As you can see, we have physical signs. Some of them are chest pain or pounding heart if you're feeling for take. If you have reduced interest in sex. If you are getting calls more often than normal, that's horrible. Assigned to If you are experiencing muscle tension, pains and headaches, there could be another sign loss or change of appetite. If you have sleeping problems on. If you have constipation, diarrhea, things like that, those could be physical signs that are telling you that there is something wrong and you need to do something about it. Some triggers and physical science The no physical science could be feeling over world or frustrated. This is a huge one feeling guilty or unhappy, being irritable, losing confidence. I'm being not able to make decisions. Sometimes you just think negatively about everything. That's another sign that self care is needed. Having racing thoughts. So basically being a butterfly, starting a lot off tasks but not finishing any of them, that could be a symptom to that. You need self care on time for yourself. Memory problems on excessive worry. So it's very important to read this once and then try to identify when you are feeling this way. In my personal experience, for example, I am a I am my own boss. I don't have anyone to tell me what to do, and sometimes the day's hard because I have to make the decision off. What is the most important thing for me to do? That they and that's really overwhelming because our to do list is so huge that sometimes I have a really hard time deciding what I'm supposed to do. And then sometimes I fall into that butterfly effect. I start doing one task. I don't finish it because I feel that I'm wasting my time. I starting another one on all the 734 hours have passed on. They haven't completed anything, so that's when I have to. For me, that's a trigger. That's a sign that I need to stop. I need to do something else for 5 to 10 minutes. I need to count my mind on, then I can go back on. I can tell you that I become way more effective my month. My mind can then decide. Okay, what is the most important thing right now to do? And now I can feel calm. I can feel relaxed, and I can just start and finish a task and then move to the to the next one. So that's on example for me. I know the one is. Sometimes we baby sit our nephews on. They demand a lot of attention. So if we have them for a whole weekend, we sense that self goodies needed a lot. So what we do some month and myself, we take turns is not that we are aware the whole day. But maybe I go myself one hour on hour and 1/2 to the team, and I enjoy playing squash. So I just go with a friend, play some squash and come back. Also, I can go for a bike ride again. It's time spend with yourself on. Then I come back and I have a completely different mindset and attitude, and then someone I can do it then. So that's a yes, a few examples. So for our lives and what how we integrate your getting in our day. Another example is being here now instead of being a home recording this course we thought , How can we go somewhere? Have fun, have family time on at the same time, Do some work on. This is what we're doing now. We came to Tobermory. Samantha's parents live here, so we spend time with them on there. Now we have family time and then we have quiet time. And now we are working on. We get to do a little hike and we get to share all this beauty with you. So this is another example off how you can embrace self care into your life. So keep what in the next videos on, we're going to dive into all the topics. 6. Creating Your Self care Plan: Hi. So I'm gonna be taking you through what's in your self care plan. How do you build a self care plan? You'll notice in this module that we have put an attachment. So that is going to be at PDF downloadable version that you can use to print off and or mimic on a piece of paper to create your own self care plan. And we just call it the top 10 lists of what's on your self care plan and the reason why it's so important to write it down. Why it's important to have a physical copy of it is because not only if you live with someone, you can share it with them, but for yourself. Personally, you can put it in a visible area, whether it be in your office at work or you put it in your kitchen, on the fridge or on a bulletin board that is important to you that way it's visible that way. It's a constant reminder or something visual that you can see throughout your day that tells you Hey, are you feeling OK? Have you done any of the things on this list in a while? I want to share with you just really quickly. Some of the things that we have shared through our different workshops and talks with others the first you know, we were originally living in Barcelona for four months after we met in New Zealand. We moved to Barcelona to see if we could start a life there. We found that it was very challenging for me. I couldn't speak Spanish up, and now I'm a little bit better. But at the beginning of that of that journey in Barcelona, I told Emilio we needed to do something for ourselves. We needed to get out of the space and go for an adventure. So we decided to bicycle from Barcelona, Spain, to Montpellier in France. That's about 400 kilometers. And before you freak out, we didn't do it all in one go. We took our time. We did it over 11 days and it was beautiful. So the picture that you see is Emilio in the south of France were bicycling down to a little village. We would bike in the morning, we would read, we would talk, would go in and seek out adventure in little towns. And then we would keep going on our way. The next image. Now that we're living in Canada, we still try to incorporate when we're working. How do we take time for ourselves on one of the things that we love to do is packing her lunch a really delicious meals so that we're not out on the road thinking that we need to stop and probably make a bad decision about ordering something that it wouldn't necessarily be on are healthy, are healthy scale way pack a nice lunch and then we find a spot close to where we're working and we have a little picnic. We lay out a blanket. In this case, this is by the Grand River in Kitchener, Ontario, and it was a beautiful lunch. We also like to have a lot of fun. Uh, we get dressed up on Halloween on some occasions, and this year we went a little bit overboard and we did a paper mache, a head, and we were two of our favorite characters from Oh, and we've got a seagull going behind me. Um, and we were two of our favorite characters from the nightmare before Christmas. That's a lot of fun. That's one way that we indulge yourself care. I personally do a lot of gardening. The image that you see that's a morning glory in my garden. I can't tell you how every day if I am getting a little bit stressed or overwhelmed, I just need to walk into my back garden and start pulling some weeds or looking at the different plants and seeing what stage they're add to feel well with myself. Again. I also take time to go on an annual pilgrimage into Algonquin Park as this one's a little bit more adventurous where we pour Taj and we bring in everything that we need on our backs , and we canoe across many lakes to get into where there's not a lot of people and just a lot of wildlife. Emilio. He's a closet go Carter. He loves to get on little cars on. So this is a picture of him having some friends having fun with some friends and in a go kart race. Something that I do every day is just stretching, stretching and and making that part of my daily routines and habits. Sometimes I'm feeling it in my back, and I recognize well God is because I haven't tried to touch my toes today, so I'll just kind of pop a squat and bend down and take a take a little break and stretch. And then, of course, you know it's really hard. We're really fortunate way our own businesses. We are our own boss. But even even when we're working, we try and stop and really taken views and vistas and really try and make the day different . Really, Try and stop and be mindful of what's going on around us on. Lucky for us, we're able to be conscious of that. And, of course, we slip up. Of course, there are times when we let ourselves get overworked, overwhelmed. But the difference between us and someone who doesn't have a self care plan is that we know exactly how to fix it. It doesn't last for long periods of time. On. I want to stay. Recently this year we had, um a tragedy happened in our family and we lost one of our most dear pets. Now that was something that made us take pause on. We took two days to really kind of deal with that Greece and those emotions on. We started doing a lot more self care for ourselves in that time. We put a pause on work him way. Really? For me, it was very difficult. But the reason why I was able to get out of it was because I started to recognize that I can't go through life feeling this way. This hurts too much. So I was doing things to make myself feel well. I was going and spending time with friends who made me feel well. And it was important that, you know, I I learned to deal with my grief, and I learned how to move on, because that's what I feel is very important. And sometimes if you don't have that list, if you don't have that plan in place, then you're then you're feeling hopeless than your feeling lost. So I encourage you print off that, pdf or try and mimic it. You just need to create it a top 10 list, and on that list, you'll see some examples could be going for what they don't need to cost money, though, on your list. If you have the funds to do so, they can cost money. Go to the spawn, have a treatment done, Maybe enter into a race on a sailboat because that's something you've always wanted to do. It can be anything. There's not one thing. So go through those examples on the list and then think deeply and and think, What what would be on my list? What ideally would be on my list? So keep going with us through the video, and we'll keep taking you through the reasons to improve yourself care. 7. Making Room For Self care: in this video, I'm going to share with you after your tips on how to make room for self care. This is a big one. Most people say I don't have time for self care on. That's so easy to say, but it is like saying on driving on a journey of 1000 kilometers. But I don't have time to put gas in the car. So what did? What do you think is going to happen? Most likely, you're going to be on the side of the road. And then instead of taking 5 to 10 minutes to stop putting gods and then keep going, you're going to wait, probably for hours for the tow truck. And then it's gonna be a horrible experience. Self care is kind of similar. If you're not feeling well, the body is your vehicle on. If you are getting somewhere, you need to do a task you need to do appropriate. If you're not feeling well, you are not going to be productive. Is not going to be on effective. Journey on is not going to be fun either, so you need to stop and put gas on. For us. Gas means self care on again. Self care means something completely different for every person, and that's why you need to find what is yourself care. So in this case, when we're talking about not having the time is like When was the last time that you said no to things? Sometimes people come on did request things on a lot of times. A lot of people come to request things, but the thing is, a judo have to say yes to everything you need to respect your time the same way that you respect someone else's time. So sometimes by say no by questioning yourself is thes important. Is this the right thing for me to do? You can just say, Oh, I'm sorry. I don't have time right now, But will you mind coming later? Or do you have time tomorrow at five PM or just find the spot in the calendar that fits you well or simply say no? If that's something that you don't feel and power to do off course. Sometimes we have to say yes to things that we don't like, But you will know those things, what they are and why I know that really important thing is do you block time in your calendar for self care? So are you actually actively putting it in your calendar to say OK on Wednesday night? These two hours are going to be for me to go with my friends or it's going to me for me to do this course that I wanted to do. Or this five minutes at lunchtime every day are going to be for me to go for a walk. Whatever that means for you, there is always something that you can integrate in your day. There is always something that will require less than 10 minutes. So make sure you put that in your calendar. The other great resource that you can do activities do you out it where you spend your time sometimes with our clients. We need to do our own activity. Check this first on, basically, we have them write down on a piece of paper everything that they are doing that day. I may be that week, and then we reflect on that, and then if they know what they have done, they can go back and reflect and say, OK, or Monday I did this. This this and that, and then they can see where the time went, and they can then reflect and realize OK, is this the best use of my time? Or maybe they have done a few tasks that didn't belong together. Or maybe they have done half going grocery shopping three times that week because they didn't have a proper a shopping list. So there are. There is always a lot of things that we can do to make your time more effectively, so that is always out. There's always a way to find time, time that you can use them for self care on. That's when organization comes in. That's when strategies like the ones that we are sharing with you in this video and in the other videos that we have are going to help you gain time on. Then you can use that some of that time for self care, and then your productivity is going to go to the roof because you are going to be feeling great and you're going to have time to do what you feel inspired to. Another thing that we need to take office time wasters to avoid some of them are not having a plan. Sometimes you have a great idea. But if you don't be it, a plan to get it done is not going to happen. A lot of things. We fail on setting priorities so we can decide what is the most important thing to do on. Then we don't do anything being able to say no as I was talking with you before, you have to learn how to say no when, when you don't want to do something, when you don't really have the time to do it attempting to do two months. But that's a big one for me. I'm a perfectionist. On every time I want to do something, I always aim for perfection on. Of course, perfection doesn't exist on What does that does to me is that it paralyzes me, and then I just can't get started because I know it won't be perfect. That's a huge one for me, for a lot of people. So just get started. Take it easy, Step by step on, you will realize that it will take less time that you expect it, and you're going to feel great on land along the journey. Failing to delegate If you try to do everything yourself and you don't ask for help ever, you are going to be always BC and you won't have time to do anything. So if you have the chance if you have a family member, a good friend Ah, work made that you can delegate task toe. Sometimes people want to help. But if you don't let them know how, they won't be able to. And then you're going to feel bad and they're going to feel about seeing you feeling about procrastination is have huge one. Sometimes we just don't want to do something, so we just leave it on. We just leave it, leave it and leave it. We never get to it. BCB, NBC again. Sometimes people say I'm too busy to do stuff. But then, Okay, what, are you busy? What are you doing? Is that really important while you just distracted? So you have to understand what is the main go? What are the main goals for you on? How are you making them happen? And sometimes we have a lot of distractions coming our way, and you just have to learn how to stop being BC and start reflecting and seeing the big the bigger picture. Not being able to find things off course organization comes in place here. If you can't find the things that you need to do, what you need to do, that's a huge time waster being a butterfly again. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed. Sometimes you need to get done a few things all at once, and then you don't start and finish anything. It's important to try and start and finish tasks, and if they are very big ones, supplies them, slice them in small slots that you can accomplish, and then over time you will get it done, starting a pretty with not enough information. Sometimes we want to do something, and we don't have the skills that we don't have all the information away the pieces to get it done. And then that's the time wasted, too. Being always available. That's like not saying no. You are always available and then someone else. Is that dictating your schedule? No, you on at the end, you won't get done. What? You wanted to get them on being interrupted that are huge. One interruptions. You are on the soul. It takes a long time to get on the soon people say that it takes up to 20 to 30 minutes to get your focus into a task. If you are building up to their on all this hard and you get this interrupted like interruption, could be someone knocking on your door. Could be someone is asking for something. Could be your phone with notifications, please turn them off. Don't let notifications the sound Come on all the time because I saw the striping and you want to be on that soul. It's so difficult to get there and you have to respect that. Some people use a Tiner and they set a timer for 20 or 30 or 40 minutes. It's up to you. It depends on how much focus you can get, but I said the time for normally 30 to 40 minutes. I focus on one, and then everybody else knows that I'm doing that on. They tried their best not to interrupt me. My phone is in silence on. Then I would take my phone after. If you are waiting for a really important called, you can always said that sound differently from the rest on. Then, if that time comes up, you can know that you have to take that. But all the rest, like notification, social media, e mails, all that stuff. It can wait. It won't be an emergency. So please don't let that be interrupted. So see you in the next video and hopefully you can identify those time wasters on. Start working towards eliminating them as much as possible. 8. Setting Goals: so we're gonna talk about how to set goals. It seems pretty abstract, but a lot of people who we work with their biggest roadblock is I don't know where to get started. And so there is no magical answer. It's actually a question, and I like to use a serious of questions on a little book by Dr Seuss on its called Oh, the places You'll Go So he says, You're Opta great places. Today is your day you're mounting is waiting, so get on your way. But how do you know where you want to go? And the question I want to ask you right now is, Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? How do you want to feel and why do you want these things? If you can answer those questions, that is the breakthrough. That is the way to set goals, because at the end of the day, no one can tell you what your goals are. Okay, that's your work. And that's the exciting part. This is your life. This is your ability to choose what you want to dio, and it's so exciting. But it's so overwhelming and When you start to practice this and you start seeing your goals happen, you start seeing your dreams become a reality. It blows you away. You think, How is this possible? This is This is magic. This is This is unbelievable because only a year ago I said I wanted to do this and now it's happening. And I have to tell you my life since I've been doing this, it's unbelievable. I never thought I could be my own boss. And here I am five years later, and I'm working for myself. It's magical, and it comes with hardships, I tell you. But it's really truly magical. So I want to ask you again, Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? How do you want to feel and why do you want those things? And if you want some extra inspiration, just get that doctors use book. Oh, the places you'll go and give it a read because it's really something that is true. And if you follow asking those questions, you're on the first step to setting your goal. So one of the other things I wanna let you know that when you're finished answering those questions. It's important to try and decide in Slash out. What is that goal? What is it? Verbally. Can I say it? And physically, can I write it down? And we say Still, we believe in smart goals. And what smart goals is if you see s stands for specific M stands for measurable A stands for attainable are it's relevant and t it's time bound. So those air a bunch of big words. But what does that actually look like? I'm gonna take you through an example okay of a client that they shared with us and the Goal waas. And this was a good goal. I want to feel better at work now. That's a wonderful goal. Who doesn't want to feel better at work? But how are you going to do that? Your goal should be abroad. Map for helping you achieve whatever it ISS. So we asked, How can you dive deeper? Tell me more about this school. Let's make this more specific. Let's make it more smart, OK? And that doesn't mean more intelligent. It means that acronym specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time bound. So I want to feel better at work well, that's not very specific enough. It's measurable because you'll be able to tell your either feeling better or you still kind of feel bad at work. It's not time bound. There's no deadline there. There's no target that you're aiming for. It's definitely relevant. It's something that you feel is important to you. So let's take it one step further and it says, Oh, I I want to organize my office At work, you see, we work with people and dealing with de cluttering and downsizing. So that's kind of why the school is going this way. So now we're more specific. I want to feel better at work, but I need to organize myself at work in my office. The things in my office now we're getting more specific. Now we know how to make myself feel better at work. It means I have to take some time to organize. But still it's not time bounds and again it is measurable. But it could be more specific, so we encourage them. Take one step further, even better goal here. I want to sort out all of the papers in my office by September 30th and have a clear desk space and that will that will make me feel good at work. Okay, you have just curved out the steps that you need to take in order to feel better at work. And it is by taking time to organize and sort and de clutter in the office space so that you can feel well so that when you come into work, you can sit down and have that clear desk. So this is a smart goal. It's specific. It's measurable now. It's not just measurable about how you feel, but you'll be able to measure it. Is the death clear or not? Are the papers sorted and organized or not? It's still relevant. It's definitely attainable as long as we set aside the time to make sure that we're giving ourselves time to get organized to do the sorting. So we really encourage you. Your goal can be one sentence, but it might make it more challenging for you to achieve it if it doesn't cover all of the specifics. Okay, so when you're setting your goal after you've answered those four questions, where do you want to go? How do you want to feel? What do you want to do. And why do you want those things, then you're working on two. Okay, Now, what is it? What's the actual specifics of it? And remember the smart acronym? Okay. And then that's going to help you flush out your goals. We're going to dive further into how to get goals done in the next video. So that's a lot of work I've just given you when you finish that and you've got your goal ready, Move on to the next video. 9. How To Get Goals Done: how to get goals done. Let me tell you that the most important thing is always to understand the reason why do you want to get the gold done? What is that bigger thing that is pulling you towards that? Like what? What is it? Why do you want to get there If you can't answer those questions is very difficult to keep the motivation on the momentum going. So the first thing that you have to do always this question yourself. Why? So why do you want that? What is the reason or the reasons? Why are you doing that in the first place? And then you need to have a really, really comparing recent for you to be able to keep going. Okay, So some examples, some tips about how to get goes on our accountability. That's huge. If you share the goals that you want to get them with others, they are going to remind you they are going to ask you and you can ask them. Could you please ask me when we see each other? And then that way, it's kind of help you keep on trucking is going to help you. Oh, wow. I didn't do anything about that gold yet. I think it's better to just get started so people are going to influence you. People are going to ask you, and that's going to make the gold more really. The more people you share your goal with, the more you are committing to it. In a sense, on the more you're changing your mind set on, basically all the good idea, starting your mind, and then the more you share them, the more you think about them, the more that they kind of realized physically. I know it sounds crazy, but it is true, So stature in those calls with us, many people as you can and you will. You will know what I mean the next stop. Yeah, sure, you go with the world. That's what I said. Just make sure that you're sharing everything with everyone that, you know, break the goal down into tasks that's really important. Don't try to do everything all at once because it's going to be overwhelming. Try to break it down into steps into tasks task that you condense schedule in your calendar . So if you are having difficulties scheduling a task in your calendar. Maybe it's too big off a task. Maybe you won't have enough time to complete it. So try to break it down in smaller chunks, because that way you won't be disappointed. You will find our spacing, your current out, that you can do it and yet be realistic. How much time do you have? When do you have that time? If you have a family, if you have commitments if you are really busy, you know that maybe finding a three hour chunk off time, it's going to be very difficult. But maybe you can find half an hour every morning. And if you do happen our every morning Monday to Friday, that's already half an hour. Times five. So that's a few hours, and if you multiply that times for in one month, you are going to be able to spend a few hours in that project, and that can make a huge difference. Reflect and take notes on your progress that's really important. Just reflect on what you are doing and then celebrate when you are completing them. Celebrate what you are achieving on. This can be a little bit slower at the beginning, but you need to start getting gaining that momentum. That motivation needs to keep going on. The more time you spend, the more energy and effort you put into the prayer into the task, the more love you put in there. Just try your best to give the best you have, and then things will start rolling on all the sudden that goal. That was a dream and you didn't even know how to get there. It's going to start becoming more clear. It's going to become easier for you to, like. Keep moving towards that off course measure and celebrate your success is no matter how small they are. Always remember to celebrate every single, every little success that you have, because that's what's gonna keep you like. Motivated to keep going. It takes up to 21 days off repetition to form a new habit. So when you are trying to move toward a goal, you most likely will need to change your mind. Set on your habits and routines. If you don't do them long enough, it's very difficult to create a habit. It's like driving a car. Okay, when you learned how to drive a car, if you didn't already. How much attention did you need to pay, like to the car, to the gear shift, to the speed to the stealing, where it was overwhelming. I was exhausted. I was taking lessons. I took like 15 to 20 lessons, and then my dad told me a lot, too. And I was so exhausted after that because I needed to pay attention to everything. So what happened over time? One week later, two weeks later, everything became normal. I have been doing it for a while, so I don't need to look at my gear shift. I don't need to look at the steering wheel. Everything becomes a little bit easy on Ben. It's less natural. And then it flows to the point that I said that my car now and I don't have to think it happens. It's automatic. This is what you want with anything new that you want in your life. You have to commit for a period of time. You have to make sure that you are putting the energy on the effort to make that habit, and that new routine happened. It's kind of really hard at the beginning and it's gonna become easier is here is here easier to the point that it will be automatic, so you have to have the patients. But it's so worth it, because everything that you make, they are going to affect the rest of your life forever. So it's so worth it to spend a little bit of time creating new habits and routines that are going to make your life great. And, of course, be always a word of all the barriers on problems challenges that you may run into. Make sure that you are aware of them and that you have techniques and tactics toe overcome them. So this is basically a few of the things we're going to have a break because it's raining. So we have to put the gear away. But we will see you in the next video. 10. Using a Timer: So when you are trying to read your Golestan, it's really important to schedule it in your calendar, and it's really important toe drag your time. One of the tools that we use a lot is a timer a time it could be. We don't recommend using your phone because then you would have access to seal the notification reminders emails, so it will be a distraction for sure. So we will recommend to it and they are on extended time. Eric will be like a very simple start Stop timer. And then you can set a time that you wanna work on a task. One of the techniques are that we were using A we felt inspired was with a for maduro technique is called on is a technique, as you can see on this light. Basically, it tells you that you have to set the timer for around 25 minutes. They recommend toe work on a task, and then you will take a short five minute break, and then you repeat these four times, and then at the end you take AR 15 to 30 minute break. So this is a great idea. You don't have to be as a specific, I will recommend to test it. See, how long can you focus on the task? Is it 10 minutes? Easy? 20 minutes is in one hour. Every person is different, so destined to see how much time you feel comfortable working in the same task for on, then if that's worse to be 30 minutes said the time for 30 minutes. Every time you are doing a task, when the timer goes off, you can decide. Can I keep going with this task? Um, I don Or should I do something different? And then, by doing this, you are allowing yourself to have your focus only on one thing at a time. You're going to get more things done. It's going to be quicker on. You're going to feel better at the end of maybe one or two periods off those 30 minutes. Then you can have a check your phone or you can do whatever you need to do, and then you can go back to it again, and they do the same thing under the 30 minutes or another 40 minutes or whatever timeframe you have in mind. So this is a great technique we use it personally outlawed, especially with when it comes to, for example, social media. When we're trying to do some Facebook or we are trying to treat their, it's a time soccer so you can get lost in there because it is a lot of great information on then you see there on when you realize the time you have spent maybe two or three hours in something that you were not intended to do. So a timer will help you a lot to get things. That another example that we use the time before it's for cooking on another one is for doing laundry, doing laundry. It's very easy to just said the washing machine, and then you said the timer on. Then you can forget about it because the time it will remind you when that washing machine or dryer cycle these are finished on, then you can just get it done. So give it a try on the National haricots. See you in the next video 11. Ideas to Create To Do Lists: in this video. I want to talk about creating to do list. This is a huge does that some people have traveled with on me. Personally, I was having a little bit of trouble, too, because when you are creating to do list, it's very easy to start using pieces of paper opposites and then start putting the post. It's everywhere, and then when you look around you, if you have a lot of posits and then you have a lot of to do list, going at the same time is really challenging to focus on one. And it's very easy to forget something on. Sometimes you have those least even in different locations in your home. Sometimes you have one on your fridge. Sometimes you have one on your desk. Sometimes you have one or not. No book, maybe one in your car. Who knows So a dean of the day, it's very difficult to keep track off them on by. A lot of my clients are suffering off like feeling overwhelmed and not having clarity and focus because they don't have a proper system on how to keep that to do list. So I want to share with you are. I think that I started doing not long ago. I was inspired by by Samantha. She started journaling and then she started up writing down on a notebook everything that she was doing and how she was feeling and also the to do list that she wanted to get that. So in my case, I have no like this one. And then what I started doing is I try to use only one notebook. These one I brought everything in here on. I also included a to do list in the back off the notebook. As you can see, there is a little book it in this pocket. I can I can keep out scrap pieces of paper. And that's what I use for my to do list on. Everything is in this notebook. And I carry this noble with me everywhere I go, if I'm going to a course, if I'm going to a presentation, if I'm having a meeting, I will bright the date I will write. Who are my meeting with on that? I would take the notes there. So at the end of the day, everything is in one notebook. If I need to reflect on something. I can just grab the notebook and go back. And it helped me, although to keep everything in one place. I also use that technology in this case. I use my phone and I use an app Google called Google. Keep on. I also used trailer, and those are really good ups that allow you to keep track. And then I can share that note without with Samantha with another person on. Sometimes trailer will allow me to keep track off more complicated and elaborated to do list when you have different layers off information that you need to keep track. Trailer is one that helps me a lot. For example, if I have a great idea about giving a talk, I would have a section of the school talks on. Then I will write down the ideas that I have saying for blogging, safe for like how to tell to client. So whatever you have in your mind, you can create that section and then you can write it down there. Another thing that I do sometimes a high for something important in my notebook that I don't want to lose. I will take a photo on. I will save that photo on my Google drive. Or you can also use Dropbox or you can sink to your computer. And then if you happen to lose this no book, you won't lose all the information that you need. So that's a really great idea, because one of the things that we run into sometimes it's like what happens if you lose the notebook? And, of course, if you lose the notebook, everything that this inside it's got. But if you take a photo off the important pieces, that will allow you to have it forever, So these are just a few ideas on how to create Keep a to do list. We hope it's helpful and we will see you in the next video. 12. Morning Rituals: Hi. I'm going to talk to you about mourning rituals. This was something that really added a lot of value to myself. Your plan? It was something that I was looking for that wouldn't be overly time consuming, but something that I could practice every day on that I could know that I would stick to it . It would be challenging at times, but I needed something consistently. I need something. I'm either like a cold turkey. Don't do it anymore or I'm off full on, get into it and make a change happen really quickly. So I did some investigating into mourning rituals online, and I came across a great morning ritual and it was ultimate happiness in 23 minutes doing this morning ritual. So who wouldn't be excited by it about the fact that you could achieve this 3 23 minutes of your time? I've included the link at the bottom of this video. So go ahead and click and read about Sean Aker and his morning ritual. But one of the things that was lacking for me was the visual concept of that. So I created an infographic, which is also included in this video as a resource so that you can kind of see what this 23 minute break down look like. So it's not about the morning ritual that you do have a peek at mine. I think it's great, especially the journaling aspect. It really gets my mind set in a positive attitude for the rest of the day, and I do it every morning. Just as I wake up. I can either sometimes be doing it well. I have some breakfast, or sometimes they do it before I even get that far. But the importance of the morning ritual is, and it could be a nightly ritual as well. You can investigate both of those options, but one of the things that it does for you is that it is the constant reset. It is the constant. This is how in starting and I know what you could be saying, could be saying no routines. No, this is the death of me. I don't why well, don't want to lose my spontaneity, but it's more like a daily practice that brings you and opens you to new opportunities. New ways of thinking on I know what you're saying. How could doing the same thing over and over again. Open your mind to new things, but it's that constant reset, and it's getting your mind back on to what's really important. Generally, the morning routine will include a piece that makes you have some internal reflection. It will have. You sit back up and take deep breaths, and little is three breaths to get you back, filling up those lungs and then generally that includes a little bit of exercise to get your blood pumping. So on those days when you're feeling down or you're like me and it's the middle of winter in Canada and you're just saying it's cold outside and dark and how am I going to stay positive on this day? Doing a morning ritual can really pull you out of any funk and can really get you set on a course. And I can't even tell you the positive power of the reflection aspect of it. So I've been doing this, uh, routine since I believe I think it was like October 31st or November 4th somewhere, somewhere around that last year. So when I've kind of sometimes just like flip through those pages and stop on one randomly and then we'll read that. And one of the practices is to write down three things that you're grateful for and then one positive experience from the last 24 hours. So I'll be flipping through and I'll stop. And you know, the gratitude of I love that my cat gave me snuggles, or I spent a really excellent evening with friends. And, you know, just reading those kinds of things makes you even happier. Andi, you've got this. You got this. How do I want to say this? This log of time and what it does for your memory and your ability to recall memory? It's It's really powerful, a swell. So morning rituals. It's something that I really think it's worth the investment of at least investigating into on. Believe it or not, you probably already have a morning ritual, whether it's hitting the snooze three times before you get up or getting up right away and starting that cup of coffee or, you know, getting up and saying, you know, Come on, kids, we're gonna be late in that kind of thing. Those air all morning rituals, believe it or not. So you have the power to shape a positive one or a negative one on. I think you'd rather choose the ladder, so have a look at the resources below. Try it out if you want to try the ritual that I'm doing. But if not, just think kind of intentionally about what could I do in the morning to make myself feel a little bit better? And if you're one of those people who say I don't even have enough time to, you know, washing comb my hair in the morning that I incurred you, what's 10 extra minutes? If you were to wake up early and try something a little bit different? What's 23 minutes? If you were to wake up and try something a little bit different? Sometimes you know, we hit the pillow, and it's always due to get enough sleep. But there's sometimes when you know what. What's 10 minutes? What's 23 minutes if that's going to change the way you feel throughout the day, So I look forward to talking with you more in the next videos, but check out morning rituals 13. 7 Ingredients for An Extraordinary Life: in this video I want to share with you the seven ingredients for an extraordinary life after working with hundreds off clients are helping them get the lives are organized violence. We were noticing that a lot of times people were focusing on a very specific area off the lives, but they were not succeeding. They were not moving forward and they were not feeling well balanced. And then something that we were doing always is like Okay, let's have a big toe your life holistically. Let's have a peek about all the areas of your life. What are you doing? How are you feeling about them? And then what we noticed is that sometimes when we were pointing those things out on when we were asking them about maybe Okay, you are stressed with, for example, your physical spaces because you have a lot of clatter. But they were not saying that. Maybe they were not Neutering their friendships that they were not spending enough time with family. They were maybe not exercising as much as they would like. So when we were asking them, when was the last time you laughed really hard? When was the last time that you were having so much fun on then they were starting to remember the activities of the people on everything that they were doing at that time, and they were were noticing that they were feeling a little better, more inspired than and they would realize, like, Wow, like it's so important to have a holistically at your life and then understand what's happening in every area because sometimes wear struggling were not feeling well. And that's maybe because we are not nurturing everything that we need to. So that when we started reflecting, we started researching a lot about life coaching, about self care, about everything that we could find. And then we came up with this. Our recipe for an extraordinary life on these recipe includes seven main ingredients, So in green number one, it's the body on their body. Inclusive exercise and nutrition rest. So there's three. Things are really important if you don't have a healthy body. If you don't feel rested, it if you don't eat properly on, if you don't exercise, you will have enough energy on your body warm. I won't be able to perform better best, so it's really important to Notre. Those three things. Second ingredient. Excuse me. It's our mind. We need to have a clear mind. That's when self comes in that when having great hobbies, are doing something that creative, doing fine, just playing. Just play like one. Were Children would always playing and having so much fun way still need to play in our lives. We need to make things fun as much as possible. On some things, we just forget wear. So basically, we have so many responsibilities that we just forget that life is all about having fun and having a good experience. So the minus our meditation. 14. To displace our spirituality, our religion, anything that is important for you, anything that helps you clear your mind that falls into this ingredient. The third ingredient. His family families are very important. We are given the family that we have. Sometimes we're not 100% happy or the situation is not easy. But that's the family that we have, and we have to try our best to make the most fit. The next one is social. Social relationships are really important. This may include also relationships with your partner. If you have a partner and you have to surround yourself with people that you love people that like doing things alike. And, uh, it's very it's really nice to have a very nice social support circle on that, something that is gonna help you rough times, too. Like we have really good friends forever for today that every time that we're having a bad day, we always enjoy the company. We always enjoyed sharing our challenges with someone else, and that makes a lot of light into our lives. The next one is actually 20 World. It's a huge home because it takes away a lot of time from our lives. And then I'd really like this sentence that say's working hard for something that we don't care is called stress. I'm working hard for something that will Office called Passion is from Simon Sinek. It's very interview, inspiring one. Sometimes we have to do things with love because we need to have way to pay our bills studying off the mountain. That's fair, but it's really important if you are, if you can work towards that better future toe worst, doing something that you feel well so this in green is really important short career. The next one will be stuff. Stuff is where the things that we need to function in the house, where we live in the car that we used to drive all the stuff that surrounds us. So many people have traveled, having too many things are things have taken off their lives, and we helped them alone without decluttering becoming a minimalist and things like that. So stuff has a huge impact in your life, and it's very important for you to take a trough it on. The last one is giving back. Giving back is really, really important is one of the main things giving back with the volunteering giving back could be helping someone that help giving back could be a simple us. In my case, I like playing squash, for example, If I show up at the court and I see so many times I see people that they just got started. They know anyone in the crab on the Yes, I see their passion. I really see them. I wanted to let you in if I so I just stating on. I just spent 15 minutes with him on. They are so grateful and it doesn't take a lot of time or energy on. I play squash pretty well, I think, for the last four years, so that's something away from me to be back. There are so many other ways you can give back. Just try to be helpful. Try to make someone else says they brighter by small details on your life will become because when you see that person being happier, you're going to be happy to. So this recipe is something that we have on a book about it, too. You can take it out in the link below, but it's something that we believe is really important. And every time that you have to make a decision in your life, you have to be intentional. And you have to think how it's this decision going toe affect my life holistically. And then when you can think about all these ingredients off course, everybody's going to be needy. Everybody's going to need different doses off. These are ingredients. Some people would need a lot of exercise. Some people, we need a lot of work. Some people will feel better when they're spending a lot of time with family and friends you have to find your own recipe, and that's a secret off life. Finding your own recipe, using the self care and organizing skills to make that work on to create the life that you feel well on inspire leaving. So I hope you enjoy this video. I hope you can apply principles of these are ingredients on. If you feel by a book on I'm pressure is gonna help you to create that SAfrica plan to create a creations we call them. It's basically reflecting on all the ingredients, reflecting when the things that you want to do in your life said in the schools and then scheduling them in the calendar, making them have it. So are you ready to take full control of your life? Let's get stuck. 14. Multitasking vs Singletasking EXERCISE: So you say so. This is an exciting exercise. This one was brought to our attention by a good friend, Kathy Mendler. She brought this exercise to a time management workshop that we did, and it was awesome. And we want you to get ready because you're going to do it with us. It's only gonna take a couple of minutes. So Emilio's doing it along with you. I'm running a timer. You need one piece of paper and a pen. So hit, pause and grab those things. Okay. Ah, And if you want, I'm going to use the timer here on We're going to do it together. So pause the video. If you don't have these things ready and come back with us when you have the piece of paper , the first thing that we want you to dio and I'm gonna say, Start, I'm gonna start the type timer is you're going to write out multi tasking versus single tasking and then on the next line, you're going to write the numbers one all the way to 27. Okay. So get ready. You've got your screen in front of you. Emilio. Your set Don't sit. Ok. Ready set. Go 15 16 Me 27. Then I think he wrote 45 there. No, 24. 25. Okay, so, uh, it's not meant to be hard. You don't need to rush yourself, but Emilio stopped at 27 seconds. So were you close to where Amelia was? Did you stop earlier? So Okay, we've done this exercise. So what's the What's this have to do with multi tasking? Well, the next thing that we're gonna have you do that took 27 seconds. Can you write that down? The next thing that we're gonna have you do is start by alternating. So on two lines, I want you to write the same thing, but you need to write em. And then one you and then to l and then three So on and so forth to the end of the sentence on there's exactly 27 letters in the first sentence, Which is why it's numbers 1 to 27. So, Emilio, I'm gonna clear the board. Are you ready to get going with a quarterback? Okay. Here we go. And start. You might notice a bit of frustration as you try to remember how to spell you kind of have to think about the world the time asking mayor? No, thanks. That on the time on the board is 53 seconds. So you have to move it closer if you want. I have to say that took forever because I found myself having to think, having to think about the world in the middle of the war because Okay, multi task King. It was hot way out of the total. So it was 53 seconds. So it was almost exactly double the amount of time that it took to write it out when you were just focused on writing one sentence at a time. So the point of this exercise is Teoh, help you understand that for our brains to be able to focus and to understand what they're doing, they really they just run better when they're focused on one thing. So if you're ever debating whether or not multi tasking and single tasking is what's the winner? Try and have a look at focusing on just one thing at a time. Yeah, I just want to mention that when we do this, you know, in a workshop the first time, it's fine but the second time you can here in the audience. Ah, ah, lot of frustration because it is really hard for the brain having to go back and forth. And that's what we do a lot of times with things. So we can complete things properly and faster because we are just distracted all the time. Okay, so we hope you enjoyed that exercise, and we hope you enjoy the course. If you have questions, please make sure that you leave them and give us some feedback. If you'd like to see more on a certain certain area and we're gonna jump into more examples on, we'll see you on the other side to you. 15. Stress Test Exercise How much stress are you experiencing: Hi. It's familiar here. And today I want to share with you a great exercise that I learned while I was doing my mental health. First aid course I took a weekend course. It was two full days. It was all about mental health and how life events can have a huge impact in your overall mental state and physical state to so in this exercise, as you can see, they have a serious off like events from number one to number 43 on. Every event has a score. So the exercise you have to select the ones that their life events that heart happen to your lately, and then you will add the score at the end on that score will let you know if you are if you are increase called major health breakdown. So there are a lot of life events that can happen to you any time on every life event has a huge impact. So I invite you to do this exercise. Just select the ones that have happened to you lately, had the score at the end, and then if you are 150 points or less, that means that you are on a relatively low amount off our life. Change on you are not susceptible to stress, so that's good. If you are between 150 or 300 points, that means that you are half 50% chance off a major health breakdown in the next two years . So it won't happen like in a few days. It can have enough two years later. So that's why it's really important to like understand what's going on and trying to address those problems or like events. And if you have 300 points or more, you have 80% chances off half a health breakdown. So as you can see every life event, every circumstances that you run into doing your life has a huge impact on your mental health state in your mind set on in your overall like physical health, too. So it is really important to reflect. It is really important to understand what's going on in your life. If you are not feeling well, you spend that time maybe talk with someone else, a good friend, a good family member or maybe our therapies, whoever you could call for their ways and try to understand what's happening, why it's happening. How can you approach it? What is the right mindset that you can have on? Please don't let this just go on. Keep living with this problems because, as you can see like you can have repercussions even two years later. So whatever you are doing today is going to affect your overall mental health. So make sure that you are addressing everything that you can and you are asking for help for everything else that you don't know how to manage. So I will go to read your comments below. Once you have done this exercise, and if you have any questions or any comments, please share them below. I'm looking forward to read them. See you in the next video. Half a woman. 16. Declutter your mind with mind mapping: today I want to share with You are really powerful exercise that we use all the time with our clients. It's going to help you the cloud of your mind. The exercises call nine mapping on. It's going to allow you to write down in a basic paper all the areas that you have. So what do you need? You need a notebook. You need that for you markers. And then you just need to bright down everything that is in your mind. I want to share with you the exercise that I did with one of my latest clients. So in this case, Ah, it was a she on. She was very stressed. She just retired and she had a lot of time and she wanted to do a lot of things. As you can see, the three main things the three main challenges that she was facing Waas a basement garden on things to do in a great time basement. She recently hade are float due to a lot of rain on. Basically, she needed to renovate it to renovate the basement. So, as you can see, I've wrote down all the areas that she was telling me all the activities, tasks, things that she needed to do. So the yellow one is a main idea. You can see four numbers in blue collar 123 and four. That is the priority. And then you can see, for example, packing boxes Inbred. I brought down the estimate off time that she thought it will take on. Every idea came Bryant down into more ideas, more activities and more things that she needed to do in the case. Off packing boxes, you can see she wants help packing. So she was exporting the ADF, asking family members asking friends or hire an organizer if she hires an organization that would have a course off $300 according to her, that would take out six hours to do the whole thing. So I know their talents and she was facing was the garden. She wanted to get the garden ready, so Number one was expanding the garden with new garden beds. Number two was buying flowers and plants on again. All the ideas spread down, and then you can see that every task has time. Associate it in red on cost in blue. If that is of course, associating that there challenge that she was facing while she wanted to start doing things with her free time. She just retired, so she had a lot of free time. But she was stressed because she didn't know what to do. She had a lot of ideas and she didn't know how to get started. So this was more off a brainstorming idea. So she had the idea off exercising. She wanted to meet with friends. She wanted to explore a meet up group to meet new people, and she wanted to learn new things again. I asked her about the priorities priority number one was to exercise. Number two wants to meet friends number three washed, landing new things, a number four waas exploring their meet up groups. As you can see, every idea branches down into more ideas on activities that she wanted to do. And then I asked her, How long do you think this is going to take on how much morning this is going to cost in the case? Off exercising? Sh Iwas thinking about joining a gym she wanted to spend around three hours a week on the cause will be around $60 a month. So this exercise is really powerful. I invited to do the same thing with your challenges. So what? What's in your head? What It's what is causing strange right now, or are you may be brainstorming ideas. Toe. Do you want to start a new job? Do you want to do something different? You want to go on vacation? What? It's bothering you in your head. Like all the 80 s, All the thoughts that you have, try to break them down in a piece of paper, try to start writing all the activities, all the tasks, everything that comes to your mind, put it down there and then after that, said the priorities estimate how long it's going to take on. Put a price on that. This exercise is going to help you be able to decide if this is doable. Not most people bright down a lot of things that they want to do, but once they break down the time that is going to take, they realize that is not possible to do so many things, and then they are hard to reduce on to select the ones that are more meaningful for them. So I invited to use this exercise. Please comment below. How it goes are any experiences? Did you like it? Did you find it challenging The happening Questions share with me. Anything that you want on. I will be happy to respond below. Okay, See you in the next video. 17. Top Ten Self Care Activity Tutorial: 18. Great TED TALK - How to practice emotional first aid Guy Winch: I grew up with my identical twin. It was an incredibly loving brother. Now, one thing about being a twin is it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism. If his cookie was even slightly bigger than my cookie, I had questions, and clearly I wasn't starving. When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism off a different kind, and that is how much more we value the body. Then we do the mind. I spent nine years at university earning my doctorate in psychology, and I can't tell you how many people look at my business card and say, Oh, a psychologist. So not a reald doctor, as if it should say that on my card, this favoritism, we show the body over the mind. I see it everywhere. I recently was at a friend's house, and their five year old was getting ready for bed. He was standing on a stool by the sink, brushing his teeth when he slipped and scratched his leg on the stool. When he fell, he cried for a minute, but then he got back up, got back on the stool and reached out for a box of band aids to put one on his cut. Now, this kid could barely tie his shoe laces, but he knew you have to cover a cut so it doesn't become infected. And you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day. We all know how to maintain our physical health and have to practice dental hygiene. Right? We we know it since we were five years old. But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health? Well, nothing. What do we teach your Children about? Emotional hygiene? Nothing. How is it we spend more time taking care of our teeth? Then we do our minds. Why is it our physical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health ? You know, we sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones. Injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness. And they can also get worse if we ignore them. And they can impact our lives in dramatic ways. And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniques we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries, we don't It doesn't even occur to us that we should Oh, you're feeling depressed. Just shake it off, It's all in your head. Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg? Oh, just walk it off. It's all in your leg, Okay? It is time we close the gap between our physical on our psychological health. It's time we made them more equal. More like twins. Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist, So he's not a real doctor, either. We didn't study together, though. In fact, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York City to get my doctorate in psychology. We were apart then for the first time in our lives, and the separation was brutal for both of us. But while he remained among family and friends, I was alone in a new country. We missed each other terribly, but international phone calls were really expensive. Then on, we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week. When our birthday rolled around, it was the first we wouldn't be spending together. We decided to splurge, and that week we will talk for 10 minutes. I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call and waiting and waiting, but the phone didn't ring. Given the time difference, I assumed. Okay, he's out with friends. He'll call later. There were no cell phones then, but he didn't and I began to realize it. After being away for over 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed him. Now I knew he would call in the morning. But that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life. I woke up the next morning. I glanced down on the phone and I realized I had kicked it off the hook. When pacing the day before, I stumbled out of bed. I put the phone back on the receiver and it rang a second later, and it was my brother and boy was he pissed. It was the saddest on longest night of his life as well. Now I try to explain what happened, but he said, I don't understand. If you saw I wasn't calling you, why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me? He was right. Why didn't I call him? I didn't have an answer them, but I do today, and it's a simple one. Loneliness loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles are thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out, because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already taking more than you can stand? I was in the grips of riel loneliness back then, but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me. But loneliness is defined purely subjectively. It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you. And I did. There is a lot of research unloading us, and all of it is horrifying. Loneliness won't just make you miserable. It will kill you. I'm not kidding. Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death by 14%. 14%. Loneliness causes high blood pressure, high cholesterol. It even suppresses the functioning of your immune system, making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases. In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together, chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk for your long term health and longevity. A cigarette smoking now cigarette packs come with warnings, saying This could kill you, but loneliness doesn't, and that's why it's so important. We prioritize our psychological health that we practice emotional hygiene because you can't treat a psychological wound if you don't even know you're injured. Loneliness isn't the only psychological wound that distorts our perceptions and misleads us . Failure does that as well. I once visited a day care center where I saw three toddlers play with identical plastic toys. You had to slide the red button and a cute doggie would pop out. One little girl tried pulling the purple button than pushing it. And then she just sat back and looked at the books with her lower lip trembling. The little boy next to her watch this happen, then turned to his books and burst into tears without even touching it. Meanwhile, another little girl tried everything she could think of until she slid the red button. Cute doggie popped out, and she squealed with delight. So three toddlers with identical plastic toys, but with very different reactions to failure. The 1st 2 toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding red button. The only thing that prevented them from succeeding was their mind tricked them into believing they could not. Now adults get tricked this way as well all the time. In fact, we all have a default set of feelings and beliefs that gets triggered whenever we encounter frustrations and setbacks. Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure? You need to be, because if your mind tries to convince you, you're incapable of something and you believe it, then like those two toddlers, you'll begin to feel helpless and you'll stop trying too soon or you won't even try at all . And then you'll be even more convinced you can't succeed. You see, that's why so many people function below the actual potential because somewhere along the way, sometimes a single failure convinced them that they couldn't succeed, and they believed it. Once we become convinced of something, it's very difficult to change our mind. I learned that lesson the hard way when I was a teenager with my brother. We were driving with friends down a dark road at night when a police car stopped us. They had been a robbery in the area, and they were looking for suspects. The officer approached the car, and he shined his flashlight on the driver, then on my brother in the front seat and then on me and his eyes opened wide and he said, Where have I seen your face before? And I said in the front seat. But that made no sense to him whatsoever. So now he thought I wasn't drugs. Eso He drags me out of the car. He searches me. He marches me over to the police car, and only when he verified I don't have a police record. Could I show him I had a twin in the front seat. But even as we were driving away, you could see by the look on his face he was convinced that I was getting away with something. Our mind is hard to change once we become convinced so it might be very natural to feel demoralized and defeated after you fail, but you cannot allow yourself to become convinced you can't succeed. You have to fight feelings of helplessness. You have to gain control over the situation, and you have to break this kind of negative cycle before it begins. Our minds and our feelings. They're not the trustworthy friends we thought they were They're more like a really moody friend who could be totally supportive one minute and really unpleasant the next. I once worked with this woman who, after 20 years of marriage and an extremely ugly divorce, was finally ready for her first date. She had met this guy online and he seemed nice and he seems successful. And most importantly, he seemed really into her, so she was very excited. She bought a new dress and they met at an upscale New York City bar for a drink. 10 minutes into the date, the man stands up and says, I'm not interested and walks out. Rejection is extremely painful. The woman was so hurt she couldn't move. All she could do was called a friend. And here's what the friend said. Well, what do you expect? You have big hips. You have nothing interesting to say. Why would a handsome, successful man like that ever go out with a loser like you chucking right that a friend could be so cruel? But it would be much less shocking if I told you it wasn't the friend who said that it's what the woman said to herself, and that's something we all do, especially after a rejection. We all start thinking of all our faults and all our shortcomings. What we wish we were, what we wish we weren't. We call ourselves names. Maybe not as harshly, but we all do it. It's interesting that we do because our self esteem is already hurting. Why would we want to go and damage it even further? Rightly, we wouldn't make a physical injury worse on purpose. He wouldn't get a cut on your arm and decide. Oh, I know I'm going to take a knife and see how much deeper I can make it. But we do that with psychological injuries all the time. Why? Because of poor emotional hygiene? Because we don't prioritize our psychological health. We know from dozens of studies that when your self esteem is lower, you are more vulnerable, distress and to anxiety that failures and rejections hurt more, and it takes longer to recover from them. So when you get rejected, the first thing you should be doing is to revive your self esteem, not join fight club and beat it into a pulp. When you are an emotional pain, treat yourself with the same compassion you would expect from a truly good friend. We have to catch our unhealthy psychological habits and change them. And one of the unhealthiest of most common, it's called rumination to ruminate, means to chew over its when your boss yells at you or your professor makes you feel stupid in class, or you have a big fight with a friend, and you just can't stop replaying the scene in your head for days, sometimes for weeks on end. Now ruminating about upsetting events in this way can easily become a habit. And it's a very costly one, because by spending so much time focused on upsetting negative thoughts, you are actually putting yourself at significant risk for developing clinical depression, alcoholism, eating disorders and even cardiovascular disease. The problem is, the urge to ruminate can feel really strong and really important, so it's a difficult habit to stop. I know this for a fact, because a little over a year ago I developed the habit myself. You see, my twin brother was diagnosed with Stage three non Hodgkin's lymphoma. His cancer was extremely aggressive. He had visible tumors all over his body, and he had to start a harsh course of chemotherapy, and I couldn't stop thinking about what he was going through. I couldn't stop thinking about how much he was suffering, even though he never complained. Not once. He had this incredibly positive attitude. His psychological health was amazing. I was physically healthy, but psychologically I was a mess. But I knew what to do. Studies tell us that even a two minute distraction is sufficient to break the urge to ruminate in that moment. And so each time I had a worrying, upsetting, negative thought, I forced myself to concentrate on something else until the urge past and within one week, my whole outlook changed and became more positive and more hopeful. Nine weeks after he started chemotherapy, my brother had a CAT scan and I was by his side. When you got the results, all the tumors were gone. He still had three more rounds of chemotherapy to go, but we knew he would recover. This picture was taken two weeks ago by taking action. When you're lonely by changing your responses to failure by protecting your self esteem by battling negative thinking, you won't just heal your psychological wounds, you will build emotional resilience you will thrive. You know, 100 years ago, people began practicing personal hygiene and life expectancy rates rose by over 50% in just a matter of decades. I believe our quality of life could rise Justus dramatically if we all began practicing emotional hygiene. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone was psychologically healthier if they were less loneliness, unless depression, If people knew how to overcome failure, if they felt better about themselves and more empowered if they were happier and more fulfilled? I can, because that's the world I want to live in. And that's the world. My brother wants to live in a swell. And if you just become informed and change a few simple habits, well, that's the world we can all live in. Thank you very much. 19. Next Steps: It's very nice to see that you made it all the way to the end of the court. We hope you found value in everything that you have learned so far. We will love to see your your creations. We would love to see the that's after, but I'm that you have created for yourself on. If you have any comments, any feedbacks out we will offer if you can break them down or just send us an email or connect with fast on social media. We want to encourage you to have a peek at the links that we've included underneath this video as well about a list that, specifically speaking about self care, it's Ted talks if you've never heard of a Ted talk. Ideally, the format is about 15 minutes, and it's people sharing really amazing ideas. So there's a curated list that's just about self care. Find some time to get some inspiration and watch some of those videos in your own time, and we encourage you. If you've enjoyed this course, if there was something that you wanted to share, please review the course. It helps get us in front of more people sharing that self care is really important. I don't think enough of us take the time to do it ourselves. So the more we talk about it and share with one another about the importance of it, the better we'll all feel. You can always take our website. We write up blood every week. Normally, we include videos to we have a YouTube Channel two that you could have kneeling before you can subscribe to that, and we share a lot of videos and content there, too. And we have other courses about organizing way. Have paper cloudy. We have our how to organize any space, and we're creating more and more because our passion is education and we want to help you get to the next level and create the life that you always wanted. So thanks for sticking with us during this course and joining us in Tobermory, Ontario, one of Canada's only underwater national parks on. We encourage you to get out and explore the areas around you and do a little bit of nature bathing a k a. Being out in nature, taking time to slow down and enjoy the things around you. Thank you for watching