Dealing With Stress Course - Practical & Positive | Justin V. | Skillshare

Dealing With Stress Course - Practical & Positive

Justin V., Mental coaching

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7 Lessons (52m)
    • 1. Preview first training

    • 2. First training (full) - What is stress?

    • 3. How to set a goal in life

    • 4. Everyone wants to be 'perfect'

    • 5. Why we always want more and more.

    • 6. What social media is doing to our society

    • 7. Mindfulness - Meditation session


About This Class

Life can be really stressfull. Its your choice to suffer from stress. In this course im going to learn you everything you need to know about stress and mindfulness. Knowledge is power. Its better to prepare than to recover. Stress is inevitable, suffer is a choice. After this course you will never interpret stress as a negative emotion. 


1. Preview first training: welcome A new course training one off new stress course. And before we're gonna talk about stress, is it important to know what stress actually is? Because a lot of people are telling you like, Oh, I feel so stressed about that, or I have so much stress on. If you're gonna asked them like, hey, but what is tries exactly? And how does it feel? No one's gonna know or it's gonna tell you a correct answer. So today I'm gonna explain you what stress is, and stress is actually a good thing. And if pool I always think it's a negative thing. But stress is a part of our lives, so we need to control with. And why is threats a good thing? Because we're challenging ourselves. Think about 2. First training (full) - What is stress?: welcome A new course training one off new stress course. And before we're gonna talk about stress, is it important to know what stress actually is? Because a lot of people are telling you like, Oh, I feel so stressed about that, or I have so much stress on. If you're gonna asked them like, hey, but what is tries exactly? And how does it feel? No one's gonna know or it's gonna tell you a correct answer. So today I'm gonna explain you what stress is, and stress is actually a good thing. And if pool I always think it's a negative thing. But stress is a part of our lives, so we need to control with. And why is threats a good thing? Because we're challenging ourselves. Think about before an exam. Think about before a football match. You are going to be even mawr. Focus because you're challenging yourself for something big on and people who have feelings like Oh, I'm really afraid to lose my job. Or what if my boss doesn't like me? Or what if I don't get the job? Or what if I don't past exam? This is not stress. You know this is fear. We feel fear for things and that's not stress. And that's a normal thing. It's more like we are thinking about what happened in the future. We're not sure what's gonna happen, but it's still not stress. So if you fear, you gotta recognize with yourself Hey, do a fuel stress or D? A few? I do. I feel like fear. That's a different thing. The next Bart is when we feel fear for something like we talked about before, like a social event. And we don't want to go there because we are afraid to talk. And we don't know if people are gonna like us or are re interesting enough and we're going to stay home. So it's gonna overrule us. It's gonna overrule the fear in our life. So what happened? We got really scared or was gonna happen. We getting scared off something. What we are overrating and that's still not stress. Being scared or feeling. Fear is not the same a stress. So you've got to recognize that which yourself. So if you stay at home and you become scared of something and you feel really big, fear you are not having stress so and now you're asking like Yeah, Okay, cool, cool story. But what is stressed and exactly stress is if you are gonna overreact or more overrate the requirements off life. So we think that we cannot reach the requirements off life. So it's challenging us. It's like, Oh, no, I don't think I can do this work. That's a different sentence. If you say I'm a vory to lose my job, do you see a difference now? Because we, and especially in the Western world, were really good at making really high standards and requirements to ourselves. At what point? We're gonna think that we cannot reach it anymore. I think about all the students who are studying at university. They feel that they are not good enough to graduate from the study, for example, because the requirements off a study is a really difficult thing to deal with, and the next part is burnout. But we're not going to talk about that today, But it's really important that you've got to recognize yourself because stress is unavoidable in our life and we're not going to die because off the stress, but how we see the stress and how we deal with the stress, we see it as a bad thing, but actually a good thing. And you got to know that paying in our life is also unavailable. But suffer is a choice. 3. How to set a goal in life: today we're gonna talk about how to give your life meaning and how to set a goal in your life because that's really important because you need to have a reason to go out of bed. And a lot of people forget what that actually is. It's really important to feel better. Andi, it's better for your self esteem that you're doing what you like to do, do something very good at it. And the West, the best way to live is to exact imperfections off others and from yourself. And do we need to be, like, totally stress free to be happy in our life? The answer is no. The answer is just you need to challenge yourself what I did when I didn't felt like, OK, I have a meeting on this planet or I don't know what to do. I was challenging myself. Always. I had a personal trainer. I read it a lot off books, try allergy stories. Doesn't matter because I wanted to learn new things. And if you're gonna learn new things, you're gonna open new doors everywhere. So we have to make it really interesting by yourself at the end, and we are gonna talk about free ways to happiness and freeways to give your life meaning because there is where where it's all about because people are stressed or maybe depressed . They don't know anymore the goal of life. They think it's useless. They think it's better not to live anymore, for example. So we're gonna talk about the first thing, and that is a cool What is Mark go in my life? And now you think OK, yeah, that's easy. I wanted to do that as well. But your goal is the things what you like. What gives you a great feeling? It's your passion, maybe, and your hobby. We're gonna talk about an example and let me say I'm mountain climber and this man, his passion is to climb on all the mountains he wanted when he is free. Or maybe when he had a have a job. But that is his goal of life. That's his special. You want to do that so badly. So when you wake up and he needed need to go to work, he is only thinking about his goal in his life. And that is you can earn our money on his job and for what? For his passion to go on vacation later to climb up new mountains. So the next time we were gonna think like or what I'm doing with my life or if you are have a study day and you're like, Oh, my God, for what? I'm doing this Just, um, understand and realize that if you now work hard on something, you can reach your goals so much easier. Otherwise, if you're gonna do nothing now, you can also do nothing later. So keep your goal in your mind like, Hey, what I'm doing this for. If your study is really hard or your work is really hard, just think about later like, Hey, I can do my passion later. That's the goal of your life. You need to always look forward. So Santa cool, for if I'm asking you now. Hey, what's your question? What's something? What you really like to do? What is something? What you want to do if you have money if you have your passion, if you can't follow your passion and if you can climb the mountain because at the end that's the goal to be on the top of the mountain on. The second thing is inside. You knew, too. You realise where the look moments are in your life. You need to learn from life experiences because the person was climbing on the mountain. His inside is when he see, for example, the sun set. When he is on the top off the Mount Everest, for example, that's his insides. So you need to learn that the memories you have that's your insight off your life, that you're gonna think on bad days. But I had a really great experience, and I can't have great experience again. Like to see the sunset again, because that's the way where he's living for. He wanted to reads the goal, climbing the mountain and where's the luck moment? That's the inside the experience, the view, the sunset. So you need to learn from the past and even if it's our mistakes, even if you had a bad time. But it's all about the great time, the look moment you see on the top off the mountain because that's your inside and the last thing this gives meaning to yourself that you matter that you have to feeling you matter because you do. You do matter, your important for order people, and before you say no, you're lying. That's not true. It is actually true. And if you want to give yourself that feeling, you need to compliment yourself. You need to eat healthy. You need to make your house cozy. You need to challenge yourself. You need to read books. You need to go to the gym to feel better. You need to buy new clothes. Maybe if your clothes are dirty. And another thing is, make a list of your qualities right down for yourself like hey, where good an accident or what is really beautiful about me? What is something where I'm really proud of? For example, the way how I look, maybe, and our daughter thing is, um, help other people give people that fights or give people the feeling like, Hey, if you ever have something, you want to talk about it, you can talk with me and maybe it sounds a bit egoistic, but it's not. It gives you a really nice student if you help people. If you are nice to people on the street, so give yourself meaning and don't be so hard for yourself. Don't don't try to be so perfect for yourself to be happy because you need to exactly perfections, because I am not their effects. That person is not perfect. That person is perfect. So we just need to exact that we cannot change things. So if you create these free things, these are your freeways to the way off luck to the way off meaning in your life to write down for yourself. What? Your goal actually is like the mountain kind before example, you need to be the mountain climber off your own life. Think about your passion and what your insides like. Hey, I'm gonna follow my passion. And I know I have a look moment on the thing when I'm doing it. And the last thing is to get yourself meaning, compliment yourself, help other people. And don't wait for a leader because you need to generate yourself. And that's the way how you can give your life a cool 4. Everyone wants to be 'perfect': today this video, I'm gonna explain you how to be perfect. No, I'm not. Can we please stop with this way of thinking if we go on YouTube? If we go off social media, we always see influencers who are telling you like five tips, how to be perfect, how to get a perfect body and we want to have everything. And we in the Western world were so much realistic that if we have something, we already won something else. If you are comparing our world with, for example, in like Africa, where they just want their family around them and that they are happy on school and they are happy even if they can have school. If you compare that with my life like the Netherlands where we are bullying our teachers, for example, when we have an iPad and then we want a new car and it's either at cedar and we want to have good brands and if we don't have the things we get sad and depressed because we're comparing each other, we're comparing you the other lives that we see on social media. But it's all fake. Sometimes I really have the feeling that the development off the Internet, social media and smartphone went faster than a development off our human being that we cannot deal with all the things what we get in our life, we see too much stuff around us. So we're gonna lose ourselves a bit into our phone. Sometimes I really think the phone had half the power about us and we don't have the power on the thing here in our pockets. And the first thing what's gonna happen now? Why people feeling stress and feeling the hat on a daily basis? Because for some people, a daily life is already hard enough, they're struggling. And the first thing we're gonna happen is money. People are the most people who are stressed are dealing with struggle about money and because we're seeing on the Internet, we see all perfect life. We see Oprah for bodies. Everyone is on vacation. But it's old fake, and we don't realize so what's gonna happen, that the difference are gonna be so big that we want to try to read something always what doesn't exist, because we should know that the instagram life is not the real life. We should know that the influencers are just talking about perfect with the word per fact doesn't exist. I don't know. Even the definition off the word perfect. I don't know even who ever made that word for what? And I think we cannot deal with money anymore because of that. Because if we have morning, it's already spend on something we don't need on. We are losing a bit. The thankful talk that we have, we are. We're like, yeah, I have a job Doesn't matter. But you should know that there are a lot of people in the world are jealous of your way off living, even if you have a nice T shirt, if you even have you have a Mac book, for example. But we forget to be happy with the stuff we actually have. And you shoot Luke to the things you have instead of always looked to things you don't have , because that's really important. So the money is really a thing because we want to try to. Reid's always bigger stuff. We have a car, we have a house. We want to have a bigger house and this and this, and we go forward all the time. and we forget to be happy. And the next point is guilty some years ago and I'm talking about, I think, 15 years. Maybe it's your Mawr because I don't know I didn't live in the period. So what I hear is that no people don't have a schedule anymore. And if they have one, it's a really stressful one. They have to go there. They have to go there. They have Children. They forget that they have to be on the club. They have to be on the tennis club. That and we never have rest anymore. We think that we can do things all the time. Together we have a left up in our hands. We have a phone, we have a 10 fishing who is on Ware talking and this is crazy. Our mind is getting crazy And the thing is melty tasking can be a really good skill and it can be good. But the thing is the result off This is not when we are on vacation. We're even doing the same now, a days into 19 if we are off occasion, we are busy with social media. We want to let people know what we're actually doing. Would you know where ification is made for forgetting? Arrest to get new flu. I mean, you, you need to reset yourself when you have really stressful days or stressful work. When you are at home, you need to find your own mind back. You need to reload yourself. And that's the thing with Forgot as forget always when they are on vacation when we are home, we're always busy with orders lives. And that's the reason we never have rest in our hat. Because when you are finally on the sofa at home, we see your instagram people were out, people were ratification and you decided to not to go out this evening. But you see, order people. So you feel like although I'm missing something, I'm missing, solving importance or they offend. I have not. So we give ourselves that feeling because we see things. What we normally in the in the best we never saw the things what happened. I mean, do you see the difference what we're doing to ourselves? So social media has a really big influence on thing how we are living these days, and we're listening to people who are influencers. We feel like, OK, I need to have a perfect body. I have to make us expect for myself and I have to dress well because the guy said that and I have to do this. But no, you need to live how you want. Don't forget yourself. We think that the people were telling this us, That's a way to be sure effect. But it's not even the truth. You need to find your own meaning or being perfect. That's you the way how you are that's perfect, unique, being unique. It's perfect, not the opposite way. So we are always struggling with worth perfect, and you need to try to stay yourself and be yourself and quit social media. When you want to focus on something, quit social media. When you're doing mindfulness. Quit social media. When you are on vacation, please leave your phone in your hotel room because otherwise you will never get rest, and this results in a burned out. So what you gonna do when you have a busy life when you have to study a lot when you have to go there? When you have many Children, you need to do time management. And now you're thinking like, Oh, my God, Do you really think that I'm going to write down what I'm actually doing? Yeah, you shoot because otherwise your mind cannot handle with anymore. And at one point, if you look too late to your emotions, you're gonna explode. And this results into a burnout in a long time, off stress or depression. So you need to ride down. Hey, that's my our free. That's my rest. Ball went. And these are two hours. I'm not busy with someone else, just with myself. Even if it's one hour, it's gonna help. But just don't forget the most important, and that's yourself. 5. Why we always want more and more.: today we're gonna talk about how to spend morning, and this is a real problem for many people because when we have money, we are so focused on spending on new stuff and mostly on stuff we don't even need. And okay, I can understand why it's possible. And I think also a lot off people or shelves doesn't make us it easy, because when we go to a shop, we have the music around us. Think about some shops where the clothes are like everywhere. They're not hang up really nice. So we feel like, OK, we can look to with We can pick it up because it feels like a lot of people already picked it up so we can also do with and think about it. All the daily stuff we need are mostly at the end over shop. So when we are in the show, we see things we don't even need on the beginning and think also about online shopping, they said, like free shipping. So these are old tricks that we are going to think, Oh, it's free shipping so I can spend. Maura can buy an extra T shirt for an extra 18 $10 or euro. So the thing is that when we have something in our head, we cannot keep it. We cannot keep us on the right schedule. So if we are going to a clothes shop and we think OK, I need some new pants It always happens that we come back with a new T shirt, maybe with a jacket and maybe some pair off shoes. So I wouldn't talk about how to spend money and what happened with us. If we have money and the influence about social media, because when we see everyone on social media, we see the whole day people have expensive stuff. The woman see every day like, ah, lot of expensive backs or our jackets or it doesn't matter what. So all the time when we have something, we see something that they after like Oh, I wanna have that, too. And that, too, and that too. So we are never agree with the things we already have. So we want to reach every time something more. And when we are stressed, it's mostly all the time about money and about the problems of money can give us and okay spending money can make you feel happier for a really short term. Buying a new T shirt can make you happy for a short term so it can fix your problem. But not for a long time, because you get used to the T shirt as well, and it's not really special anymore to you. So spending money can picture problem. But a lot of research did it, and the best thing to spend your money on is to spend on other people. So try to give him or to other people it gets you a better feeling on a long term. So I live in the Netherlands and we are not really good used to give stuff to other people . We are a bit like keep maybe we were. We are a bit needy, selfish. So here in the Netherlands, it's not really a common thing to do, but it makes you more happier if you spend your money on someone else than on yourself. Another point is, if you want to spend your money, the best thing is to buy memories, and this can be, for example, uh, traveling. Traveling is the only thing you buy. What makes you Richard is a really common quote, and it's true because we buy like, memories, new experience. We learn something new. It makes us feel better. Better on the long term. So this are already two points where you need to spend your money instead of all the bullshit you want to spend today in our online shop. And don't let you get trapped on social media with all the advertisements are selling you like sale for spring sale for summer, an outlet for the winter free shipping because the people are gonna make you crazy and what's gonna happen people, and especially in the Western world, we become in a kind off cereal, and what happened is that we don't get rich because we don't save money anymore on. And what I learned in the last years is that you need to learn how to save your money. If you have money in your bank accounts, you need tohave every month, something on your bank account. You cannot spend everyone every month anything because you will never get rich and what is gonna happen? We work harder, we work harder and we get more money. That's normal. And when we have more money. We want to spend more money on mawr. Looks your things are more expensive stuff on a big car on a big house. So we get higher expectations of our self You want to reach every time, or and we're gonna also spend more. If we have a lot of money in our pocket, we can buy more expensive stuff. So we're going to spend more on what's gonna be. The next part is that we need to earn war to get the new stuff. Because if we have a beautiful car, we want, um, or expensive car, so we need to work harder for it. So we need to earn mawr, and this is gonna be all the time in the circle. We want more money. We want higher expectations. So we're never happy with what we have. So ah, lot of people are telling like or if you have a big car, if you have a big house, that's gonna make you forever happy. But it isn't like that money is really important to feel more relaxed, and it can reduce your stress with so many levels. But the point this is that you need to realize that you can be happy with the stuff you already have, and it's not like if you have a Lamborghini, it makes you more happy than a just a nice comfort car. That's the big difference. You need to realize what the value off things actually is. And if you think about spending on other people, for me, it's so much more important to spend morning in order, people toe, make other people happy. And don't mess with yourself because think about this, Um, when we have, like a 50 year old or we have five briefings off 10 then we are like Oh, no, I have, like a billet off 50 year old. I don't want to spend it because it's really big. It's really ah, I don't want to break it. We call it like, break it so we keep it in our pockets. But the five off then we're going to spend like faster because we were thinking that it's less money because these are last euros, but the value is the same. Another thing is when we need to spend that 50 euro and we've got morning back, we have the feeling that we can spend that the rest of the money much easier, because we have in our mind that we already broke the 50 year old. So at the end of the day, you just messed up with yourself and you just lie to yourself. And the thing is, keep your watch on your shopping list. If you want to buy one pans, you just need to buy one bands and try to have also months that you don't spend Ah, lot of money on stuff you don't even need, because if you're gonna think about it, that all the stuff you just bought the last year, what did you actually need? It is better to save it for later. 6. What social media is doing to our society: today, we're gonna talk about social media and what's happening with us thes days, because I think when you go on Internet or you go on Facebook or you go on instagram you see a lot of Commons. You see a lot of discussions where I'm like, really, What's wrong with people these days? It looks like there is really no respect anymore. When someone died, for example, people are laughing, making jokes off it. Um, people are going to discuss with people without even a profile picture without even a normal name with our weird nickname, um, people getting upset by the people. I see the most strong discussions on Facebook, where I'm like, what's wrong with people like, I think that people really forget what social media actually is. And I really think that we, as humans on this moment, cannot even handle social media. I think it's too much for us. It's too much freedom because the things what we are saying on Facebook or social media, or the way how we present ourselves will be not the way how we present ourselves in real life and the discussions you see on Facebook people will never do that in real life. And I really think that we need to make a system where there is something like security that there is like when you have a social media account, you can make just one account, and you have to write in your number off your state. You have to ride your person's number in your states or you just have one account. And if you are going to say bad things or raises things or really stupid things, there need to be like a law book for the social media, and you need to get the consequences off that in real life. So, for example, if you are gonna be really racist racism on Facebook, for example, or you're gonna say really bad things to someone else in a common section, it needs to be that you get, like, punished for it, like even in real life. If you go here on the streets and you punch someone, you need to pay a fine. Maybe maybe you need to go for Jill for that, you know? So we have a law book, and people know that in there had because, hey, if I'm going to do that if I'm going to steal, there is a big chance that I need to go to jail, for example. So what if we make a system like Okay, if I'm doing bad things on social media, the consequences are for me in real life. For example, if you want to buy a coffee somewhere, you give your cart and they can see on the screen like, Hey, I see you had a really bad fight with someone, and you really said bad things on you gotta find by it. You need to pay more, for example, for the coffee for your groceries. It doesn't matter what, but it's more like if people get consequences for something, they will the behave in a better way. I'm pretty sure about that. And what happened with people on social media is the thing that there are totally animus, and they like it. How many fake accounts do you see? They like to be invisible. They like to be someone else. For example, there are totally order person, and that's also what's gonna happen in real life way are always trying to be someone else. We love Toby to play someone else to behave like someone else. So this gifts like, ah, feeling like a kick. I don't know what's what what the thing is, but we really like to be invisible. And like I said, there is no law book. We can do whatever we want. Okay, Maybe you get blocked. Maybe you got report, but yes. So what? You can make a new account. So we are like thinking that we can just talk. Ah, lot off bullshit on social media without any consequences. We are thinking that there is no other person at the order side off the screen off the nickname we can't we we think that we just can say a lot of that things. Even if a family member died. For example, if you see a news about terrorism, people are going to make jokes, and we think that it's just not doesn't have consequences for another person that cannot be reached. Think about bullying on social media. We feel like we have more power, were become more aggressive. So that's a really bad thing people cannot handle with these days. And the fantasy gives us a nice feeling. I think about a tender. We are friends. We have, like a fantasy in our hat like, Hey, I will the person look like or we love to get the fantasy and the last part is no authority . Like I said, we can just handle whatever we want. Doesn't matter. And here in this system, we have like a police who is watching us on the street on there is a government, for example, on the Internet, we can just would do whatever we want. It doesn't. It doesnt make sense anymore for people. It's for me. It's so weird. And I really think that makes people really aggressive these days because we see everything was gonna happen in the world. If there is happening something in Africa, in Scandinavia, in America, it doesn't matter where we see a lot off that things horror things. It makes the mind crazy. So we really need to fix this. We really need to have, like, a security system on this with consequences, because these days the technology is going so freaking fast on and imagine they're going to make something bigger like robots, for example, um, way cannot even handle a computer. How are we able to handle a robot for example, people are not realizing what's actually gonna happen with us, so think about it by yourself. If you have the next time a discussion with someone you don't even know it just stopped up on, Don't be to root on social media because there's always another person at the other side of the screen. 7. Mindfulness - Meditation session: we're gonna talk about mindfulness one off the most effective ways to reduce stress and how to heal a depression. And a lot of people are a bit like skeptical about the way off mindfulness. They think it's weird. They think it's for people who are only interesting and spiritually things. And it's not for the normal people. It's not exacted, but you shoot to try toe open yourself for this thing because it's really gonna help you. It's even gonna help you if it if you do it like 50 minutes a day, maybe even 10. It's even going to help you to sleep in fast there on. And it's just your me time because we have, ah, really busy schedule. We have a lot of things to do. Everyday mindfulness can help you, Teoh create a really good mindset, and it's all about taking rest and feeling yourself. So I'm gonna learn you some ways how to do that. And it's all about briefing. It's all about. Be open for yourself. It's all about trusting yourself. It's also about trusting me, for example, just do the way how it needs to go, and with mindfulness we're gonna focus on how we breathe. So we're gonna breathe in and out. And the thing is, try to breathe with your nose in which your mouth you're going out and just you need to be relaxed. Just have your nice clothes on and the things that you need to close your eyes We're gonna breathe and you just gotta listen. Just listen to the music and just feel relaxed and just open yourself. So there we go. We just are going to close our eyes on Just let it go. So there you go. In four, free to one. Close your eyes, Breathe in on the outs. Try to breathe on, hold it for six seconds and just focus on everything. What I'm doing. Just think about beach in the Bahamas. Just hear the ocean. No traffic. Stay calm. Feel the way, how strong you are. It's just focus on your breathing Old of energy. A lot of negative energy needs to go away. All right, open up your eyes. Um, this breathing is really effective when you also want to sleep in because a lot of people have, like, sleeping problems, and it really helps you to try it like six seconds. You breathe in six seconds, you breathe out. So we're just focusing on your bridge. And we did it now for like, two minutes. But I already can feel now that I'm like mawr relaxed in my head. It's just more comb And so imagine if you do it like for a longer time, Andi Another way off mindful. And this is, for example, toe squeeze every muscle you got. So you're going toe. You start at the bottom with your feet with your cows, which are upper lax with your hand, which your biceps, which your eyes. So you're going to do muscle by muscle just like this. Like this power, you know, with Mexico out, It's like that feeling like, Hey, we're here. We can do this. We can handle this life and another way of mindfulness. We're going to do that now is a mindfulness What's really famous one. And it's about a Dutch writer. He wrote it, and I will explain you that we're gonna do the same as before. Just close your eyes and just listen. All right, go in free to one. So just focus now on that energy in your body like, Where is the feeling off your stress? Your belly is it May be that your lungs is it in your hat? Where is the feeling? Don't fight against. What do you feel now? How do you want a few? I try to make a little smell. Focus on your feelings. Where's your feeling now? What do you feel, huh? Do you recognize that feeling to recognize yourself? Do you feel yourself? This is the moment. Just feel yourself. And now I want you to think that you're gonna be really toll on big So you need to grow yourself big. Let yourself grow to become the greatest and the tallest person on the planet that you can see the world feel that little power What you got inside you don't forget to breathe Do you feel the feeling? Focus only on the field You you know OK, open your eyes So now I can already feel that I'm really focused on and reduced my stress And I forgot the problem So try to do this at least every day Just take your me time Just put some nice music on and breathe