Creating Healthy Boundaries for Brigher Living | Illuminated Space | Skillshare

Creating Healthy Boundaries for Brigher Living

Illuminated Space, Live Brighter

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19 Lessons (1h 12m)
    • 1. Healthy Boundaries For Brighter Living

      2:40
    • 2. Step 1 - Understanding Boundaries

      3:44
    • 3. Shared Energetic Information

      9:55
    • 4. Your Boundary Alert System

      4:12
    • 5. Boundary Myth Busting

      2:40
    • 6. Step 1 - Activity

      2:21
    • 7. Step 2 - Increase Love Energy

      1:59
    • 8. What's Love Got To Do With It?

      4:32
    • 9. Fill Your Own Cup

      2:51
    • 10. Step 2 - Activity

      2:16
    • 11. Step 3 - Communicating Your Boundaries

      2:55
    • 12. Communication Basics

      3:46
    • 13. Sample Conversations

      2:58
    • 14. Step 3 - Activity

      1:52
    • 15. Step 4 - Take Physical Action

      1:18
    • 16. Earth School

      3:55
    • 17. Intuition, Courage and Trust

      4:32
    • 18. Step 4 - Activity

      4:05
    • 19. Step 5 - MEDITATION: Dissolve Cords

      9:42

About This Class

Do you struggle with saying “no” or feel like you get pushed into things? 

Do you often feel resentful or guilty? 

Do people take advantage of you? 

These are just a few common signs that you may have an issue with maintaining healthy boundaries. 

When we have unhealthy boundaries we routinely feel guilty, resentful, drained, angry, powerless, undervalued and unappreciated. 

Learning to establish healthy interpersonal boundaries isn’t taught in school. And if you didn’t have an excellent boundary-setting role model, you were left to figure this out incredibly complicated dance on your own! 

But, fear not! You are not alone. Maintaining healthy boundaries is a challenge for many folks, and I’m here to help you establish healthy boundaries for a brighter life! 

In this Healthy Boundaries for Brighter Living online course, you will:

  • Get a clear understanding of what boundaries really are
  • Gain knowledge on how boundaries are formed
  • Do some boundaries myth-busting
  • Learn you how to establish healthy boundaries 
  • Dissolve disharmonious energetic cords (or connections) with others in a GUIDED MEDITATION

Need a few more reasons to go on this journey with me? Healthy boundaries are superduper important. 

  • If you want to discover and live your life’s purpose, you need healthy boundaries. 
  • If you want to feel happy, alive and fulfilled, you need healthy boundaries. 
  • If you want a loving, fulfilling relationship, you need healthy boundaries. 
  • If you want to hone your intuition or light working skills, healthy boundaries are essential.  

Okay, are you with me?! Let’s get started!

Transcripts

1. Healthy Boundaries For Brighter Living: Hi, I'm Jennifer, and I'm gonna help you establish healthy boundaries for brighter living. Do you struggle to say no to people to feel like you get pushed into thanks a lot, or do you feel guilty? Resentful? Do you feel like people take advantage of you? If you said yes to any of those things, It's a good indication that you may have issues with boundaries, but if you're starting this course, then you're we suspect that you could have better boundaries. When we have unhealthy boundaries. We routinely feel guilty, resentful, drained, angry, powerless, undervalued and unappreciated. Learning how to establish healthy interpersonal boundaries isn't taught in school. And unless you had a really amazing boundary setting role model, then you were left to your own devices to figure out how to set these healthy boundaries. It's not easy, and it's totally okay, and I totally applaud you that you're here now and learning this skill because this will improve quality of your life tenfold. You are not alone. There are many people that struggle with setting healthy boundaries, and I am here because I'm gonna help guide you through that process in this healthy boundaries for brighter living online course, you will gain a clear understanding of what boundaries really are. Gay knowledge on how boundaries air formed, do some boundaries, myth busting, learn how to establish healthy boundaries and dissolve energetic cords or connections with others. Meet a few more reasons to go on this journey with me. Healthy boundaries are super duper important. If you want to discover and live your life's purpose, you need healthy boundaries. If you want to feel happy, alive and fulfilled, you need healthy boundaries. If you want a loving, fulfilling relationship, yup, you need healthy boundaries. If you want to hone your intuition or light working skills, healthy boundaries are essential. This course is broken into five powerful and easy to follow steps to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Each step is broken into two or three lessons where we dive into greater detail so you can understand exactly how to create better boundaries in your life. At the end of each step, there will be an opportunity for self reflection. At this point, you may pause the video to do some free writing too deep in your boundary setting journey. Are you with me? Let's get started 2. Step 1 - Understanding Boundaries: So what the heck is a boundary anyway? In the physical world, a boundary often resemble something like a wall. It keeps some one on one side and someone else on the other. However, having this sort of analogy in mind when understanding interpersonal boundaries often confuses things, interpersonal boundaries cannot be a wall because you are a multi dimensional being. Yes, you connect with others physically, but that's only one dimension of your highly intricate being. Have you ever thought of someone? And then they called you soon afterwards. Have you ever felt sad when someone told you of their recent loss? Have you ever felt connected to someone hundreds of miles away? You see, you're able to do this because you're not actually a separate individual being like you may have thought. We are all interconnected beings made of energy. Energy is our essence, the source of our being. It flows between us. Sharing energetic information such as thoughts and emotions not only do connect with others physically, you also do so emotionally, mentally and spiritually. With this in mind, I invite you to upgrade your perspective on boundaries. A boundary is the controlled and respected flow of energy between two people. It's the amount or limit of energy you are willing to exchange with someone else. For the sake of simplicity, we're gonna explore boundaries as the energetic exchange between two people. However, this boundary information is also applicable to multiple people, groups, souls, animals, the environment and so on. When you have healthy boundaries, the energy and the relationship flows evenly back and forth between people. There is a give and a take. It is balanced, and it feels respectful. This flow becomes imbalanced when someone starts receiving or giving more than the other person in the relationship. Symptoms start to arise. The predominant giver may start to feel resentful, unappreciated, taken advantage of or drained while the receiver may bask in the extra energy. Or they may feel guilty, bullied, smothered or uncomfortable. Your boundaries are unique to you. Much like your highest good. Establishing healthy boundaries is all about recognizing how much energy you are willing to give or take, and balancing that flow of energy with someone after recognizing how much energy you are willing to give or take on adjustments may need to be made in the relationship in order to regain an even balanced flow. Even though boundaries are unique to everyone, there are are definite telltale signs when a boundary has been violated, which you're gonna learn in the next lesson. You deserve a kick ass life. And so do those you love that requires the relationships in your life to be healthy and balanced, where everyone involved feels appreciated, validated and respected, including you ready to tell how you can determine if your boundaries have been violated, see in the next lesson. 3. Shared Energetic Information: Okay. Healthy boundary hero. That's you. Let's get started. If you want to establish and maintain healthy boundaries first, you need to understand that there are different kinds of energetic information that flow between yourself and others. I'm going to break down the four primary yet interconnected types of shared information to help you gain greater clarity, an awareness of what it means to establish healthy boundaries. Number one, emotional energy, emotions and feelings. Emotional energy is regularly shared between people. If you've ever felt happy for a character in a movie or sad when you pass by a place where a tragedy occurred, then you know all about shared emotional energy. An emotional boundary is the amount or limits of emotional energy you're willing to give or take on in a relationship. Please note that the word relationship in this context is not limited to your family or your friends or a romantic relationship. Rather, it includes anyone you're connected to or interact with. Often we enjoy sharing emotional energy with others. It helps us feel connected and supportive. However, your emotional boundaries are violated when someone gives you or pressures you into accepting mawr emotional energy than you're willing to receive. As a result, you start feeling in carrying the weight of their emotions. And remember, boundaries are a two way energetic street. You are violating someone else's boundaries when you impose your emotional energy onto them or expect them to feel what you're experiencing. So here are some examples you may be expected to feel down and depressed if someone close to you is going through a tough time. You may have been taught as a child to hate or dislike certain kinds of people by your parents, friends, religion or society. You may feel guilted into something you may feel morally obligated to take on loved ones challenging or low frequency emotions. Someone may want to share their happiness or enthusiasm with you when you're not in the same space, you may feel pressured to accept societally deemed quote unquote appropriate emotional responses and paths, or those sensitive to the emotional energy of others have an especially hard time distinguishing which emotions are their own and which are others. If you're a nem path, it's crucial you start cultivating keen awareness of the origins of your emotional energy. Where did it begin? Whose is it really then give yourself permission to let go off. All that is not truthfully, yours. At the end of this course, you'll learn how to energetically disentangle yourself from others toe further, enhance your boundaries. But here's what you need to remember. You are responsible for processing the emotional energy that arises for you on your journey . You might feel like you're supporting your friends and loved ones by taking on their emotions with them. You are not obligated. Nor is it healthy or beneficial to take on the emotions of others. Number two, mental energy, thoughts and beliefs Mental energy is comprised of thoughts, beliefs, opinions and expectations. It's shared in nearly every conversation, and it's also exchanged when even no words are spoken. A mental boundary is the amount of mental energy, thoughts, beliefs and opinions that you are willing to accept in a relationship. Just because someone thinks or believes something doesn't mean that you have to do the same . When others impose their beliefs on you and expect you to conform to their ideas of what is right, they are violating your boundaries. This is especially true if they withhold their love and acceptance unless you adopt their beliefs. You may feel pressured to accept religious or political ideologies, health information and practices, others opinions or advice on what you should do. Additionally, when someone's negative attitude brings you down, it's time to reevaluate your boundaries. And don't forget the flow of energy goes both ways. So when you insist others believe or think the same is you or you tell them how to live their life, you are violating other's mental boundaries. Everyone is entitled to the opportunity to form their own opinions, expressed their beliefs and change their ideas. Give others and yourself the freedom to live in alignment with your true self, not manipulated by imposed beliefs or negative thoughts. Number three physical space, your physical body, your personal space, your home and your possessions are all part of what I call your physical space. It's much easier to understand a physical boundary because you can typically see it with your eyes or feel it with your hands. We share ourselves physically with others. We invite them into our homes. We share kisses, hugs and have sex. We lend our personal possessions to friends and family. A physical boundary is the amount or limit of our physical space that we are willing to exchange with another. Although physical boundaries can appear more clear, violation of your boundaries may still occur when your physical boundaries have been violated. There's usually a sense of inappropriate behavior, irritation, anger, discomfort or fear. For example, your boundaries are violated when someone crowds your personal space or overstays their welcome when they yell or threaten you when they speak disrespectfully to you, when they touch you in a way that feels inappropriate when they harm your physical body. When they restrain or prevent movement of your physical body, or if they take something of yours without permission, you have the right to defend and protect your physical space. If you've had major violations of the physical boundary in the past, such as rape or abuse, I encourage you to seek professional support to truly heal these wounds. Unhealed wounds and distrust create a restriction of the energetic flow with others. This can lead to difficulty in establishing healthy boundaries with others. Number four spiritually energy karma. Each of us is on our own spiritually journey. Along our way, we may encounter many experiences and a crew energy that ultimately means to be balanced or harmonized. To do this, various circumstances are created in our physical life. We evolved by choosing to process and harmonize our own karma and energy. However, there are also cases when we choose not to do this and instead push it onto others. Or, conversely, we may be working through spiritually energy that is not, truthfully, our own. A spiritually boundary is the amount or limit of karma you're willing to share our take on in a relationship. But here's the thing. It's not super easy to tell if your spiritual boundaries with others are healthy. Usually it's an intuitive feeling or seeking the insight from someone who reads energy. In my own practice, I found numerous cases of people processing others karma through their own energetic system . They take on toxic energy density and challenging life circumstances for others, and they do this for a number of reasons. The soul is gracious and truly wants to help others. The soul made a bad deal or contract somewhere along the way. They want to be loved and accepted by their tribe or the soul feels guilty and wants to make things right. Sharing energetic information in the form of karma can repress the energetic system and severely slow someone's evolutionary journey. Also, when you take on that energy, you're not necessarily helping them. When their soul is not willing, toe learn its own lessons, their journey and suffering can be extended. Okay, great. Now that you know the four main types of shared, energetic information between people, you have a better handle on understanding your boundaries with others and coming up. Did you know that you have built in mechanisms to manage your boundaries with others? In the next lesson, you'll learn how to know when the energetic flow in a relationship becomes imbalanced and unhealthy. All right, see in the next lesson. 4. Your Boundary Alert System: If you're new to the idea of healthy boundaries, you may not always know when you're boundaries are violated. You may have had your boundaries violated so many times that you've come to believe certain behaviors or actions by others air natural and to be accepted. Or if you live under the weight of guilt or worthiness issues, you may unknowingly accept the violation of your boundaries by others as a form of self punishment. My point is, if you don't know when your boundaries are violated, you won't know how to establish healthier ones. So it's time to start becoming aware. It's important to start bringing your awareness to the give and take dynamic in your relationships. Pay attention to the point where you feel the flow has become imbalanced. And here's an important note. The other person in the relationship may not have the same awareness or be in agreement with your assessment of the imbalance. This is to be expected thes air your boundaries thes air, not universal, and everyone has a different level of what the appropriate amount of energetic exchange is for them. So continue to listen and trust yourself in this lesson. I'm gonna introduce you to three natural mechanisms that you already have that are designed to alert you of a violation to your personal boundaries. When you're aware your boundaries have been violated, you gain the power to take conscious action to bring that relationship back into balance. Here are three ways to determine if your boundaries have been violated. Number one. Pay attention to your emotions. Often your emotions air the first layer of protective defense to alert Ito a violation of your boundaries when your boundaries have been violated. It's common to feel emotions such as anger, resentment, guilt, dismissiveness beer and unappreciated Number two. Listen to your intuition. You may get the gut instinct that something isn't right. Even if you can't figure out what it is exactly, you may have a hunch that someone isn't telling you the truth. You may feel that someone doesn't have the purest intentions. Deep down, you may know something isn't right for you when someone else insists it is. If something doesn't feel right or you send something is off, always listen to your intuition and follow your highest good number. Three. Consider your physical space when your boundaries have been violated you may have a general sense of discomfort within your physical body or your personal space. While you're interacting with someone or immediately afterwards, tune into the space within and around you determine if you feel a sense of discomfort. For example, do you feel drained or lower and energy than before your interaction? Do you fear for your safety? Do you sense a lack of privacy? Do you send something that was said or done? Was inappropriate? Is there a longing for something that was taken from you without permission? These are all signs alerting you to check in on the given take flow of relationship. If the warning bells were ringing, don't ignore them. It's far easier to bring a relationship into a healthy flow when it's just slightly off balance. If you ignore the signs and wait until there's a serious imbalance, you put your energy, inner peace, health and a relationship at risk. Okay, are you with me? It's time to bust some pesky boundary myths that may be holding you back from living a more vibrant and awesome life 5. Boundary Myth Busting: I hear it all the time. I need better boundaries. So I locked myself in the house for a few days or they don't respect my boundaries, so I'm cutting them out of my life. These drastic, ineffective and way too common tactics to enforce boundaries is what led me to create this course. If you have inaccurate beliefs or misconceptions about boundaries, you can endure more suffering the necessary. So in this lesson, we're gonna bust a few boundary myths that I routinely here from my clients. Okay, let's do it. Myth. If you love someone, you shouldn't set boundaries. They get all of you and you get all of them. To have boundaries means to limit the love you give or receive the truth. You can love someone and still have fierce boundaries setting boundaries. Onley establishes a healthy, balanced and respectful flow of energy between you. You can absolutely set healthy boundaries while still loving someone. Myth truly good kind Spiritually People help everyone and never saying no to others. The truth. You are a good person and can be exceedingly kind and still have boundaries. You are good, worthy and lovable because your essence is love energy. There is nothing you have to do to prove yourself or to be worthy of love in this very moment, just as you are right now. Sometimes the kind ist most loving thing you can do for a person and their soul is to say no myth Setting boundaries keeps me small and limits my potential. The truth. Maintaining healthy boundaries is the biggest show of self love. Yep, you heard me. Boundaries are not mean. Selfish, limiting, Aurand. Spiritually healthy boundaries are necessary to thrive. They show you appreciate and respect your energy and yourself. They demonstrate your willingness to stay balanced and keep your love energy Cup full. Okay, Rock on. You're doing great. Keep going. I'll see you in the next lesson. 6. Step 1 - Activity: Let's take a few minutes to recap what you've learned so far. Healthy boundaries are important if you want to live your life's purpose, feel joyful, attract a loving relationship and hone your intuition. Ah, boundary is the energetic exchange or flow that exists between two people. There are four primary kinds of shared, energetic information that impact your boundaries, emotional energy, mental energy, personal space and spiritually energy. Establishing healthy boundaries is all about coming back into energetic balance with someone. You have three systems to alert you toe a violation of your boundaries, your emotions, your intuition and your physical space. Now it's time to take what you've learned and examine the relationships you have in your life. Take a few minutes to reflect. Make a list of the important relationships in your life, then intuitively consider of the energy and the relationship flows back and forth in an even and balanced way or if it's imbalanced. If you're not sure, go with your gut instinct or just take your best guess number to circle the relationships you suspect are imbalanced. Number three. Put a star next to the individuals in your life that seemed to take more of your energy than give of their own. And number four put a check mark next to the individuals in your life that seem to give more energy to you than you give to them. When you're finished with his activity, hop on over to step, to increase your love energy, where I'll teach you the most important secret to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. All right, see there. 7. Step 2 - Increase Love Energy: how many times have you said no Onley to then cave, get trampled or be ignored? For example, Maybe you've said that you don't have the time or the band with to do something, but then you get guilted into it anyway. Or maybe you don't want to go to a party, but your friend hounds you until you finally wind up going. Or maybe you've told someone something they've said or done is inappropriate. But it continues in the future. Now, how many times have you tried to set relationship rules with someone to them? Break them later. Maybe you've told your buddy that he can't borrow any more money from you, but it's still happening. Or maybe you've said that there's no more lying or cheating in a romantic relationship, but don't have the strength to leave when you've discovered it happened again. We often have a difficult time making our boundaries really stick when we try to set boundaries from the outside in. So you may feel by stating these relationship rules or boundaries allowed that they're now riel and therefore must be honored. When these words are easily pushed aside or forgotten. It could be disappointing frustrating and painful. Here's the biggest secret toe, healthy boundaries. It's all about energy. Establishing boundaries is about so much more than just using your words and telling people what's okay with you and what's not. It's about energy. Setting healthy boundaries starts energetically from within when we approach boundaries. From this perspective, we're able to easily maintain effective in a healthy boundaries. Okay, And the next lesson I'm gonna show you how. 8. What's Love Got To Do With It?: love is not some froo froo sentiment. It is a high frequency, powerful energy. Love energy vibrates at the highest frequency and radiates at the center of our being. It cannot be seen, but it can be deeply felt in our essential connections with others and, most importantly, ourselves. In short love. Energy is the sweet nectar that makes life a joy to live. When your love energy levels are full, you feel whole, complete, fulfilled and at peace. You're completely capable of effectively managing and dealing with any negative feelings or situations that arise. You feel fully confident in yourself and your abilities. You feel that life is an incredible adventure that your honor to experience. Okay, so let's look at the reverse. Those who struggle with self love and have low love energy levels have weak boundaries. Yep, I'm talking to all you people pleasers out there. When someone needs love, approval, validation and a sense of belonging or love energy from others, they have more wiggly or weaker boundaries why they're willing to compromise their relationship rules or boundaries just to get a little love energy in return. Remember, it is super yummy stuff, and without it life is hard, but here's what they don't know yet looking outside of themselves for love, energy is ineffective, inconsistent and unsustainable if you want. Stop feeling depleted, unfulfilled, unappreciated, fatigued or sick. It's time to fill up your own love Energy Cup. When you're full in love energy, you have healthy, firm boundaries. So you may be thinking, Well, sign me up. How do I get some of this sweet, invisible nectar? Your love energy levels are completely within your control, and you gain control by choosing toe love yourself. Self love is the most efficient and effective method to increase your love energy levels. Self love is not about occasionally taking a bubble bath or lighting a candle. It's about taking consistent actions in alignment with your highest Good. If you're waiting for love to come from someone else, you're giving away your power. There's a good chance your love energy levels are low and your boundaries are weak. You may receive love energy from others, but it comes in inconsistent waves, creating extreme highs and lows in your life. The solution. Self love, baby. When someone truly loves themselves, they are full of love energy. They know that they're a good person and don't need to prove themselves. There's nothing they need to do to gain others love. This puts them in an energetically strong position to set boundaries by generating their own love energy through self love. They don't need it from others. As a result, they're not so willing to compromise what's in their highest good and dismiss their boundaries. Let's face it, self loving folks live the good life. They naturally attract high frequency people in situations into their life, their respect and prioritize their energy levels. They're discerning with their energy and say no if they need to when it feels appropriate, or they feel divinely guided to help someone, they will, And a bonus since they don't need the validation and approval from society or those around them. They're not burdened by the guilt or fear of not being loved. Ready for the bonus bonus. Self loving people are able to accept others and meet them where they are in order to maintain energetically balanced relationships with others. Let me show you how 9. Fill Your Own Cup: so you may be thinking great. Sounds good, but how the heck do I love myself? You can start right now by simply committing to these two things. Number one. Practice self kindness. Did you know beating yourself up can help you survive, but it can not help you thrive. If you truly want to embrace a spiritually and vibrant path with healthy boundaries, you must are practicing self kindness. This means when you mess up, give yourself a hug. Forgive yourself, shrug it off and try again. This means when you look in the mirror, appreciate all your body does for you and tell yourself I love you and this means if you're tired or upset, take care of yourself like you would a child. And encourage yourself to rest. Se comforting things and be gentle with yourself. By creating your own love energy through self love, you set the bar for how others treat you. You'll never stand for someone treating you with less respect and kindness than you treat yourself. You'll require a balanced, energetic flow in your relationships, or you'll feel confident making the adjustments needed to ensure and even dynamic number two. Enough with polling other people's opinions, making pros and cons lists or following your fluctuating emotions. It's time to make decisions based on what's in your highest good. Your highest good is your North Star. It's guiding you towards your divine purpose and a radiant life. It can be hard to go against what others and society expects of you, but that's all part of your souls. Evolution following your highest good is not just for the big life decisions, but it needs to be honored daily. For example, when you're driving home from work, tune in and see what route is in your highest good or when you're ordering a drink at a coffee shop, tune in and determine which drink is good for your body in that moment. And if you're having a hard day, determine what is truly the best way to take care of yourself. The two most amazing things you can do to improve your life are to practice self kindness and follow your highest good. As a result, your love energy levels will naturally begin to rise, and setting healthy boundaries becomes super duper unbelievably way easier 10. Step 2 - Activity: all right, you've nearly completed step to increase your love energy. Let's quickly recap some of what you just learned. Setting healthy boundaries starts energetically from within. Healthy boundaries. Comes down to your love energy levels. Create your own love energy to establish healthy boundaries by practicing self kindness and following your highest good as your love energy levels increase your boundaries are no longer just words. Their words with teeth, their words that are backed with a bold, vibrant energy that others can feel because your boundaries are created energetically from within. Their becomes less need to actually even communicate or assert your boundaries with others . Your boundaries are not just words anymore, but powerful energy. Others can feel most people will simply unconsciously respect them okay before heading on to step three, communicate your boundaries. Take a few minutes for some compassionate self reflection. Aim to be as honest and authentic. It's possible. And don't forget practice. Self kindness. Number one on a scale of 1 to 10. How do you rate your level of self kindness? Number two. How frequently do you tune in to what's in your highest good and follow it rarely. 123 times a day, 4 to 6 times a day, 7 to 10 times a day, or basically, always if you had to guess on a scale of 1 to 10. How high do you think your love energy level is? Number four? What are some specific ways you could increase your love energy levels today? 11. Step 3 - Communicating Your Boundaries: as you learned in Step one. Ah, healthy boundary is a controlled and respected flow of energy between two people. After embracing this unique perspective on boundaries, you were ready for Step two, which is all about how to set boundaries from the inside out. You do this by increasing your love energy levels through self love. When you do this, you put yourself in an energetically strong position to establish healthy boundaries. You're no longer willing to compromise your boundaries in exchange for love, energy acceptance, belonging, validation or approval. Nope, you create your own love energy. At this point, most people will feel your new higher frequency, and the relationship dynamics will adjust accordingly. They will feel your new boundaries and respect them. However, some people, especially those and long standing relationships, may resist this energetic shift. It's likely that they enjoy and even rely on your energetic connection with them as it is currently. If you haven't noticed, people don't always react well to change. They may even pushback on your growth and personal evolution. So when someone isn't naturally responding or acknowledging your need for a recalibration or energetic shift in the relationship, it's important to verbally communicate your boundaries to them. You may need to express that you don't need their unsolicited advice, but one thing to just listen that you appreciate their views and beliefs but don't always hold the same ones that you're sorry they're having a really hard time. But you need to embrace high frequency emotions that you don't delight in other's misery, like they dio that you're no longer going to participate in gossip or negative talk about others that engaging in certain behaviors is no longer appropriate or that you won't tolerate someone who speaks to you in a certain manner. Remember, you deserve healthy relationships with balanced, energetic dynamics that uplift you. Creating your own love energy following your highest good and establishing healthy boundaries are the greatest steps you can take for your personal evolution and for others. By doing so, you're offering those around you the opportunity, however temporarily uncomfortable toe learn how to do the same. All right, it's time to learn how to communicate those new boundaries. See in the next lesson 12. Communication Basics: If those around you are not naturally responding to this shift in dynamics created by increasing your love energy levels, you may need to have a conversation with them. Here's an important things to keep in mind as you prepare for that conversation. Number one. Use neutral, heart centered communication. If you're feeling angry, upset or energetically charged, there's a good chance the conversation will turn into an argument. If you're blaming them for anything, they will feel attacked and naturally want to defend themselves. Instead, aim for neutral heart center dialogue. Take responsibility for the previous energetic dynamics because you didn't understand or know how to fill your own love. Energy Cup number two. Don't assume they are in the wrong. Quite often, when people are evolving like you are now, by establishing healthy boundaries, they don't always realize it. At some point they look around and others, and they get upset with how they're being treated. But for the others who aren't evolving in the same way, they don't really understand where the upset or the new boundaries air coming from. The energetic relationship dynamic was fine in the past, so why isn't it now? Before starting a conversation have the awareness that they may not know they're violating your boundaries because you're the one who has changed, not them. Number three Make it about you, not them. No matter how hard you try, you can't change others. True transformation is an inside job. So instead of telling someone how they have to change, make it about how you've decided to change, tell them that you want to try something different and how that will likely affect the current relationship dynamic. Furthermore, see if they want to get on board and support you in your new mission. Asking for someone's help and allowing them to play a hero instead of being the villain will create much more respect and naturally bring more balance to a relationship. Number four. Consider what would bring the relationship back into balance. So before speaking to them, consider what actions currently feel out of balance or in violation of your new boundaries , then brainstorm about what actions could bring it back into balance. For example, do they do all the talking and you do all the listening? If so, you may ask if they could hold the space for you while you practice expressing your thoughts and feelings? Or do they ask you to attend every event when you sometimes don't want to go? If so, you could ask them to help support you and following your highest good, which will mean saying no sometimes or do you go to their every event and they never come to yours? If so, try explaining how you want them to be as involved in your life as you are in theirs. With all the above points in mind, your nearly ready to have a conversation to establish new, respectful, self loving boundaries with others you're doing awesome. Keep going. 13. Sample Conversations: it's time to transform relationship dynamics where you routinely feel resentful, unappreciated, used, drained, guilty bullies smothered or uncomfortable into something that feels balanced, respectful and uplifts. You setting healthy boundaries with others is essential to living a happy, vibrant life. It's easier to keep your frequency high, to feel valued and appreciated and to pursue your divine purpose. So I've added a few examples to help you get a clearer idea of how you can communicate with others. Feel free to pull that any words or phrases that resonate with you that you think would be useful in your conversation with those in your life. Hi, Barbara. You know, I've been thinking. I'd really like to step up my life a bit. I know there's more joy in life that I'm currently experiencing, and I read something somewhere that says, following your highest good is the most direct path to happiness. I'd really like to practice following my highest good, but sometimes that's going to mean that I can't hang out or spend a lot of money or goto every event, etcetera, etcetera. I was wondering if you could help support me and and be understanding if I have to say no sometimes Hey, John, I know I'm usually your go to wing man, and I really want you to be happy and have the best life possible. But I'm realising lately that I don't want certain things like hangovers and starting my day at noon. It's hard to say no to you because we have so much fun. But I need to be better about taking care of myself. I hope you understand that I can't hang out like that anymore, and you can respect that. Hi, Mom. I really love the food you bring by every day, and I appreciate you so much, but sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed, and I just need some space to figure out my life or who I am or what I want. I need to ask you to call me before you drop by and limit your visits to 2 to 3 days a week . But on those days that we have together, let's get a cup of coffee and spend some real quality time together. Can we do that again? Communicating your boundaries can sometimes be really tricky. You may consider practicing with a neutral, trusted friend before you have the rial conversation 14. Step 3 - Activity: go. You, you've nearly completed Step three. Communicate your boundaries. Let's quickly recap some of what you've just learned. Creating your own love energy and following your highest good are the greatest steps you can take for your personal evolution. If others air not feeling the natural shift and the relationships energetic dynamics as you increase your love energy levels, you may need tohave a verbal conversation with them. Healthy boundaries are established by explaining that you need to do things differently and our heart centred, non blaming manner before you pop on over to Step four, where you'll learn about taking action in order to maintain your boundaries, spend a few moments preparing a conversation in boundaries you may wanna have with somebody in your life. Pause the video now so you can go grab your journal and answer the following questions. Number one. Consider a relationship in your life that may require ah, heart centered conversation. Write the name of this person in your journal Number two. Brainstorm about what needs to shift or change in order to bring this relationship into more balance. Number three. Start considering how that conversation could go jot down a few things that you might want to say to them, Be sure to use neutral, heart centered communication. Don't assume that they're in the wrong and make it be about you, not them. 15. Step 4 - Take Physical Action: is it time to make some moves? Yep. They were gonna be times when, even after you've increased your love energy levels through self love and communicated your boundaries toe others, further action is still needed to establish healthy boundaries. Step four is called Take Action. This means you were required to make some moves in the physical realm beyond just having a heart center conversation. It may mean consciously removing yourself from a situation in order to maintain your boundaries. Sometimes the idea of making changes in our lives is met with resistance, frustration and grief. Life is unfolding in a way that is not in alignment with our hopes and expectations. Often we believe others should change instead of ourselves. But it's in those times that we need to step back and view the situation through the perspective of energetic and spirituality. If you are left with no option besides sacrificing healthy boundaries or taking physical action, it's likely part of your Earth school lesson. What's Earth School you say? Well, let's dig in 16. Earth School: Earth School. Here we come. Briefly suspend your current view of Earth as this gashes, orb spinning and suspended and a star filled space and open to an even wider possibility. Instead, consider Earth is a school for souls. Toe learn lessons. Explore facets of the human experience. Neutralized energetic disturbances. Love, grow and balance karma kind of cool. Right Souls inhabit a physical form to encounter a number of experiences. Each soul has its own unique curriculum and earth school. Therefore, no two souls can ever accurately be compared to each other. Within this school are a multitude of very diverse classrooms. Some of the classrooms and Earth school include forgiveness, compassion, patience, self control, gratefulness, kindness, empowerment, power and you guessed it even boundaries. If a situation rises to the level of needing to physically, remove yourself in order to maintain healthy boundaries, heads up. You're in Earth school and a lesson is at hand. Maybe your current classroom is healthy boundaries, and this is a pop quiz. Maybe you've mastered on Earth School lesson recently and graduated to another classroom that requires a different city or group of friends or workplace. Maybe your soul is registered for another class with different classmates. Okay, so let's use an example. Let's say your coworker encroaches on your space and eavesdrops on all your calls. Despite creating your own love energy and having a heart center conversation asking them for some privacy, there's still up in your biz what can be done. Taking physical action in this situation may look like asking your boss for a new workspace or even seeking a new position. If the request is not granted, it's possible that you may simply not belong there anymore. Your frequency may have increased or you've mastered a lesson, or a new adventure awaits my point. Instead of holding on tightly to your current life situation, open up and become curious. Are you being called to move in another direction? What are you learning from this experience? Is there a more appropriate fit for you elsewhere? Practice, assuming the positive when the universe and everyone in it doesn't act the way you want them to. Yeah, it is totally annoying. I get it. But perhaps there's more going on behind the scenes than your consciously aware in the case of boundaries not being respected in an intimate relationship. If you've spent time working to increase your own love energy levels and redefined your boundaries in a firm yet heart centered mannered, taking physical action may mean going to counseling or even leaving the relationship. Similarly, if a friendship isn't evolving and adjusting to a new, more balanced, energetic flow, it may be a sign that it's time to create more space in the friendship or even time to make new friends. Yes, it could be totally scary and at times even heart breaking. But you will be OK. This is when you need to use your superpowers, courage, trust and your intuition. You're gonna learn more about this in the next lesson. 17. Intuition, Courage and Trust: Okay, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves first. How will you know if you need to take physical action that will come down to your intuition , you'll have to tune into your intuition and determine what's in your highest good. Deep down in your gut, you likely already know the answer to taking physical action. If you're still unsure. Practice using the methods to determine your highest good in our blawg at illuminated space dot com. For most of my clients, I found that they don't struggle with determining what's in their highest good, but rather overcoming the fears and doubts about what comes next in their lives. Which leads us to courage. After you've determined what's in your highest good, then you'll need to muster up the courage to follow it. There's a reason that most people don't follow their highest good. It can be downright terrifying to make big moves, especially away from societal standards in their tribe. That's full of what ifs frantically spin in the mind. For example, it may be hard to be the squeaky wheel or strongly assert yourself at work. You may think, what will people think of me or I could give fired. Will I lose my job? The thought of others not liking you may be a formidable fear that keeps you silent and enduring the continued imbalanced, energetic flow. You may think, What if I don't have any friends? Or what if no one loves me? And the heartache and grief which may result from ending an intimate relationship may feel too great to overcome? You may think, What if I never find another partner? Or what if I'm supposed to stay following your highest good in order to maintain healthy boundaries, takes courage. It takes a commitment to yourself. It takes self love. The greatest show of self love is maintaining healthy boundaries. Healthy, balanced, energetic connections are essential for your personal evolution and living a joyful, energized and fulfilling life. It is vastly more important than what others think of you or temporary emotional upsets. You deserve to be in relationships where the energetic flow is respected and balanced. Go on, repeat after me. I deserve to be in relationships where the energetic flow is respected and balanced. Great job. Finally, it's all about embracing the unknown and trust. Sure, the unknown sounds like a scary movie, but it doesn't have to. The mind takes past experiences, some calculation of probabilities and the survival instinct to create this idea of the future. Basically, we all like to pretend we know what's gonna happen tomorrow, but we don't. The universe has a far more vast and intricate plan than our little minds can possibly conceive. So what to dio? The strongest position you can take is to trust that the universe has your back. Think about it. Have you ever been thrown into a challenging situation in the past? And did you wind up landing on your feet? Probably even learning some things along the way. I'll bet you did. You amazing thing. You Well, this time you're armed with an even more amazing superpower. Self love by being your own best friend. If life gets hard, you got you, baby. You know how to care for yourself. How to pick yourself up, have it be kind and gentle and compassionate. In short, what I'm trying to say is trust the universe has a bigger plan unfolding and trust yourself toe lovingly Take care of you. You can absolutely do this. You deserve this. You deserve healthy, uplifting connections with all those around you. You're doing great 18. Step 4 - Activity: Alright, awesome job. You've almost completed the entire course. Healthy boundaries are necessary to feel happy, alive and fulfilled to attract loving, fulfilling relationships. Toe Have the energy to help lots of people to improve your intuition or light working skills toe. Follow your life's purpose to maintain a high frequency toe, live authentically and feel free and to do so much more. And just to recap some essential points on setting healthy boundaries that we've covered in this course. Step one A boundary is the controlled and respected flow of energy between two people. It is thea amount or limit of energy that you're willing to exchange with someone else. Step two. A lack of boundaries means there's a lack of love energy within you. You can increase your love energy through practicing self love, not just when life is tough, but all the time. After filling yourself with love, energy setting boundaries becomes much easier. You more seamlessly move towards what's in your highest good. Instead of doing something because others expected or society tells you you're supposed to , others start to feel your boundaries naturally created by love energy. Oftentimes, people simply adjust to your new boundaries without having to ask them. Step three. In some situations, redefining boundaries will need to happen in a heart centred conversation. When you have this conversation, make the new boundaries be about how you're changing, not what they're doing wrong. First, consider what it would take to bring this relationship back into balance, then ask them for their help as you embrace a new way of being Step four. If more drastic action needs to happen in order to maintain healthy boundaries, see it from an energetic and spiritually perspective. You may have learned a soul lesson in Earth school or raised your frequency, and now it's time to move to the next level. If you're following your highest good, you can't go wrong. Step five. Finally, you can take even further conscious action to neutralize the imbalanced, energetic connections with others by dissolving cords. I'll teach you how to do that coming up, but before you learn about cords or your energetic connections with others in Step five, take a few moments to uncover any resistance you may have to establishing healthy boundaries. Remember, with awareness comes the power to change limiting beliefs and make a different choice compassionately dig into the activity to learn more about yourself. Bring in tow. Light any areas that need to shift in order to establish healthy boundaries. Grab your journal and press pause when needed. Number one. Do you have any resistance to being kinder to yourself? If so, why number two? Do you have any resistance toe following your highest good more often? If so, why Number three? Do you have any fear or resistance around having a conversation expressing your new boundary needs to those close to you? If so, it's OK. Continue to explore What are you afraid off? 19. Step 5 - MEDITATION: Dissolve Cords: whether you have healthy boundaries or not, it's always a good idea to do a little energy work on yourself for optimal well being. That said, if maintaining healthy boundaries is a challenge for you, there's a good chance that you have some wonky chords with others. By severing and properly dissolving them, you will be naturally brought into more energetic balance with yourself and others. So what are cords you ask? Cords are the energetic network or connection we have with others. They're the established pathways through which energy is shared. However, as you've learned in this course, energy sharing is not always balanced, harmonious, unhealthy or an excessive number of connections with others lowers your frequency and can result in fatigue, negative thoughts and emotions that are not your own low motivation. Psychic attacks lo inspiration, lack of soul potency, inability to feel full or maintain high love energy levels, interesting dreams, a draining and slowing effect on your chakras and energetic system, and more so what to dio. It's time to dissolve and harmonize those energetic connections. After dissolving cords, you'll feel so much better. You will stop leaking energy. You'll recover and consolidate your energy. You'll take back your power, you'll feel less irritable and overwhelmed. You'll find center more easily. You'll feel more balanced. You'll have greater focus and awareness in the present moment and more. If you've never done any energy work before, it's okay. It's really all about your intention. Directing action and witnessing the process. All ask you to visualize or imagine cords leading from yourself. Toe others. You don't have to see to whom simply see or sense thes wire like connections leaving your or a field. Then you will ask your light beings to sever these connections. You'll see them with their big scissors snipping away. Don't worry. All necessary connections will be reestablished with greater balance and harmony. Dissolving cords is a more proactive method with longer lasting benefits than simply cutting them. After removing the core of the cords from your first chakra or the base of your spinal column, you will command and witness it dissolving into the light. Then you ask in witness all the holes to be filled with divine, radiant light. Okay, now that you've got the gist of what we're about to dio, let's get started, - take a few moments to get centered you might need to move to a location where you won't be disturbed for at least 10 minutes. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. Take another deep breath in and exhale slowly. Start by communicating your intention to the universe. Repeat after me. It's time to dissolve all extraneous and disharmonious cords. Then call on your light beings for assistance. Repeat after me. Light beings and angels Please help me to dissolve cords and regain my truthful energy in your mind's eye. You will visualize all extraneous and disharmonious chords with others. The's energetic chords will appear from your or a field connecting you toe. Others repeat after me. Please show my extraneous and disharmonious courts, then simply allow them to appear. Don't try too hard. You don't have to see them perfectly. You're clearly just get a sense of them. Now you're gonna ask for these cords to be severed. Repeat after me. Light beings and angels. Please sever these cords. See a big pair of scissors. Cut the cords, either one at a time or in bulk. If there are a lot as their cut, the external cord falls away again. Don't push or try too hard. It's okay if you can't see it perfectly. Just have faith and witness what you can. After severing the cords, you'll be left with what looks like a porcupine. The cords have been cut and the outside connections have fallen away, but part of the cords air still attached to their core within you. Don't stop there and leave the cords blowing in the wind. Ask your light beings to extract the courts. Repeat after me. Light beings and angels. Please extract the remainder of thes cords. Watch as they go within the bottom of your or a field and pull all the cords out by the core. Then watch the cords be dissolved in bright white light until they are completely gone. Next, ask that radiant divine light be poured into your crown chakra or the top of your head to coat and fill any holes left by the cords that were removed. Repeat after me. Please fill these holes with divine light, watch and feel as your system is filled from the inside out by this divine opalescent substance, it fills your entire body and or a field. It's okay to take your time when you're finished, offer a sincere thanks to your light beings and angels for the assistance. Repeat after me. Light beings and angels Thank you very much for dissolving these cords and for all your love and support on my journey. Really great job dissolving your cords. And you, my friend, have completed the course. Way to stick with it. You deserve your own love and commitment to the best life possible. And that requires maintaining healthy boundaries. You should be very proud of yourself. I know. I'm proud of you. Your last assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to celebrate your success and yourself. You deserve it. Well done. I wish you many, many blessings on your boundary setting journey.