Conflict Resolution: How to calm your MIND? | Fadi Khoury, MSc | Skillshare

Conflict Resolution: How to calm your MIND?

Fadi Khoury, MSc, Business & Technology Professional

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7 Lessons (10m) View My Notes
    • 1. Introduction

      0:59
    • 2. Stay alert and present

      1:12
    • 3. Avoid the blame game

      1:11
    • 4. I not You

      2:08
    • 5. Live in the next 30 minutes

      1:26
    • 6. Mediator Role

      1:12
    • 7. Breathe

      1:53

About This Class

In this course you will learn the techniques that allow you to remain calm during a conflict. Not only that, you will also learn how to prevent triggering a conflict in the first place. Understanding our body's reaction is very crucial, and we need to know how to deal with them when they start kicking in.

Transcripts

1. Introduction: Hello, everybody. Welcome to the scores on conflict resolution. This is one of the most wanted skills in 2020 but you don't need it just at work. We were many focus on how to control ourselves and our feelings. This skill, once learned, can help you in your daily life. During conflicts, we usually tend to let our feelings take over and need just to say that this is very wrong . In this course, we will talk about how we can prevent that from happening by using some techniques, toe call our brain. This would save us friends, family members and mostly will save us. Regrets. I'm super excited to start the scores with you, so let's dive straight into it. See you in the next video to start our lessons. 2. Stay alert and present: hello again. So you've been triggered with the conflict and you are about to burst in rage. What should you do next? Needless to say that your first thoughts should meet words calming down. So your first step is to stay present by noticing a change. For example, in your tone off voice or a gripping sensation in the belly or a sudden desire to withdraw . Each of us has a particular bodily and behavior accused that alert us to the reality that we feel threatened. So try to notice those changes and practice to calm yourself down by reminding yourself to relax or maybe by imagining something that usually relaxes you. It's really important to understand our body and its reactions as it allows us toe act earlier and control ourselves. Thank you for watching and see you at the next to Dio. 3. Avoid the blame game: hello again. So avoid the blame game and avoid going into a defensive moat. Becoming defensive is an immediate reaction that many of us fall for the easiest way to defend our position is usually to throw blames on others. But that would just make things worse. Love them, blaming others and defending yourself. Try to look at the situation from the other side's perspective. You can always express that you understand the other side's point of view, even if you don't agree with it. Using words such as I understand your point or you are right could help in relieving the situation. Try as much as possible to use positive words rather than negative ones, and you would definitely noticed a change in the other side's Don't. I hope that helps. Thank you for watching and see you in the next video 4. I not You: Hello Once again, one of the words that we tend to use a lot in a conflict is the you. You statements are phrases that begin with the pronoun you and imply that the listener is responsible for something. They show no ownership off emotions but leather blame and accused. We point our finger and start accusing, blaming the other side. You did this. You did that. You told me this. How could you? How you how would you and someone? The problem with the U is that it immediately triggers the other side to switch to the defense mode because it sounds offending and aggressive. An I statement, on the other hand, shows personal accountability. It states that even though the other side is not acting or speaking in the way you prefer, you are not blaming him or her for how you feel. Let's take let's do a quick experiment together. Check this out. You spent money carelessly and never care about our budget. How does that sound? Triggers uto defensive mode right now. Let's try it in another way. When you spend money on X items, it makes me feel nervous and stressed. This is much better right. I expressed how I feel about the situation without a direct, aggressive blaming statement. No. Here's another example. You are always on your phone. You never pay attention to me. You just scared about your texts and emails. Now, how about this? When you're on your phone, I feel unappreciated and unimportant again. A lot better, right? I hope this isn't was helpful and I'll see you in the next one. 5. Live in the next 30 minutes: Hello once again live in the next 30 minutes. What does that mean? Well, I used this method a lot myself, before I start talking. When in the middle, In a conflict. Well, let me ask you how many times you had a conflict with someone, and 30 minutes later you regretted saying some or all of the things that you said My advice is to always remember to use this technique. Just stop for a few seconds and remind yourself How would you feel about all this 30 minutes from now? If you got feeling say's it's going to be a regret, followed by an apology. Then you know that you should refrain from nothing. This escalate further. This technique helps you in two main things. One, it helps you in the relaxing, since it forces you to stop even for a few seconds and to it gives the rational thinking process a chance to kick back in. Go ahead and try this technique and assure you that you will find it extremely helpful. Thank you for listening and see you in the next video. 6. Mediator Role: Hello, Wigan. Let's talk a little bit about the roll off. A mediator in the conflict the mediator assists and guides the party's towards their own resolution. The mediator does not decide the outcome but helps the parties understand and focus on the important issues needed to reach a solution. So what are the mediators duties? Let's have a look at them. The 1st 1 is to conduct a mediation, and in a fair and unbiased matter, the second is to decline or with drove from a mediation. If the mediator cannot remain impartial, thirdly, tow. Avoid a conflict off interest or an appearance off a conflict off interest during and after a mediation. And Leslie is the confidentiality to maintain the confidentiality off in mediation. So the this is how we can summarize the mediators wrote, Thank you for watching and see you next. 7. Breathe: Hello again, guys. So what is better than oxygen? Life wouldn't even exist without it, right? That's why breathing by following a rhythm is extremely important to restore equilibrium to our body and mind. To breathe rhythmically means that the in breathe and the out breathe occurs repeatedly at the same interior. So let's take an example if we inhale counting 123 and four, then we have to exhale counting 12345 and six multiple times. So you follow the same rhythm all the time. It's important to establish everything. The whole idea from those techniques is to prevent our body from being hijacked by its own nervous system. It's all about gaining control, buck and stop that rush in chemical substances from fueling outrage and temptation to hit back and fight. Finally, I would like to thank you for taking the scores, and I really hope I was able to help you gain this important soft skills. Remember that conflict resolution skill helps in negotiation. It helps in problem solving and also in critical thinking. So you are basically establishing the ground toe master. Another three super important soft skills that are in very high demand. Nowadays I talk about those skills in separate courses too. If you If you would like toe, check them out. Let me thank you again and see you again in other courses. Thank you very much.