Conflict Management Training: Master Difficult Conversations | Robin & Jesper ✓ | Skillshare

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Conflict Management Training: Master Difficult Conversations

teacher avatar Robin & Jesper ✓, Teaches Digital Marketing

Watch this class and thousands more

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

14 Lessons (1h 9m)
    • 1. Conflict Management Introduction

      0:44
    • 2. Conflict Management Explained

      3:54
    • 3. Why Conflict Management is Important

      6:22
    • 4. Why We Avoid Conflicts

      6:30
    • 5. Before Choosing Your Style

      6:54
    • 6. The Conflict Management Styles

      8:01
    • 7. 5 Common Workplace Conflicts

      9:03
    • 8. 5 Tips To Handle Difficult Conversations

      5:01
    • 9. 4-Step to Handle Difficult Conversations

      3:09
    • 10. Exercise - The Discovery

      4:30
    • 11. Exercise - The Mirror

      4:04
    • 12. Exercise - Your Turn

      4:30
    • 13. Exercise - Problem-Solving

      5:08
    • 14. Thank You!

      0:50
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About This Class

Would You Like to Learn Conflict Management to Handle Difficult Conversations?
Then, You've Come To The Right Place!

Conflict Management Training: Master Difficult Conversations is an Online Video Course For Anyone Wanting To Learn to Handle & Identify Conflicts & Master Difficult Conversations.

Inside This Course, You'll learn how to Master Difficult Conversations.
This Course Also Includes Premium Support.
(We'll answer all your questions within 24 hours).

After This Course, You'll Be Able To

  • Identify Good & Bad Conflicts.

  • Handle Any Conflicts.

  • Listen Actively.

  • Get People to Trust You.

  • Solve Problems.

What You Will Master Inside This Course

  1. Why Conflict Management is Important

  2. The Conflict Management Styles

  3. Things to Know Before Choosing Your Style

  4. 5 Tips To Handle Difficult Conversations

  5. 4-Steps For Difficult Conversations

This Course Includes Templates & Tools That Will Help to Optimize Your Communication!

The Majority of The Tools in This Course Are FREE And The Paid Tools Are Only The Very BEST.

See You Inside The Conflict Management Training: Master Difficult Conversations Course.

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Robin & Jesper

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Robin & Jesper ✓

Teaches Digital Marketing

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We're passionate about teaching! There's no greater joy than watching beautiful testimonials of people achieving their goals and dreams. That's why we STRONGLY believe in full and constant support. With ALL of our courses you can expect:

If you're interested in learning Digital Marketing - Social Media Marketing or Creating a Something Awesome..

We're at your service!

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Transcripts

1. Conflict Management Introduction: hi and welcome to the course on how to master conflict management and difficult conversations. Now my name is Robin and I'll be one of the instructors off this course. And my name is Yes, for And it will be the other instructor on this course. Now, if you were looking for a course to help you identify and handle conflicts while also mastering the art off difficult conversations, you've come to the right place inside of this course. We're going to take you through various exercises on how to do just that step by step. So with all this sounds good to you, then check out the preview videos that's available down below and we'll see you in the next video. 2. Conflict Management Explained: Hi there. First of all, a warm welcome from both me Jesper and my colleague Robin to this course on conflict management. How to handle difficult conversations inside of this video. I am going to explain to you what conflict management IHS and the best practice is to do it . Let's I mean to be you Now, First of all, what is conflict Management lets me explain it to you pretty easy. Okay, so coming management. It's basically when we are identifying and handling conflicts, so complimented mint is liming thing than negative parts and increasing the positive parts off a conflict. Removing the negative parts and increasing the positive parcel account Click. Now a conflict in its own is not negative or positive. It depends off the outcome of the conflict. The aim is to improve learning group results and performance in an organization. But it can also be conflict management at home, for example, so a conflict is not positive or negative. As I already told you in itself, it depends on the result it produces. Look at the result of the conflict after conflict is went over. So this big is that productive or not? Has it come out to be a good result for a bad result. And how do you judge that? Well, you look at the feeling off the people involved and how they are performing. So, for example, if you're having a conflict at work, you can basically judge if it's a positive or a negative based on the outcome. The result. How are people feeling within the organization in the group? And also how are they performing under the circumstances? So let me take and workplace example here, so the example would be to sales. People are competing for the most sales to get a bonus. So two people are striving and they're working. And they are. They are hustling to get that bonus. Let's have a look at the negative part and a positive part off the conflict. Now a negative would be sales decrease because they are maybe focusing too much on competing with one another. So they're not focusing on the customers to bring in more customers to get more saints. They are focusing on that conflict. Therefore, it will be a negative conflict, and it doesn't produce any useful outcome. A positive outcome would be that saves increase when they're competing for sales and this dust produce a useful outcome. So this is basically conflict management. In a nutshell. Good conflict management is how you take a negative conflict and turned that into a positive conflict that produces results. And you need to do that by listening actively by asking questions and then feeling in the gaps. And you're going to learn in a step by step process on doing just that, how to have a difficult conversation and turned that into a productive result. You learn how to turn a negative conflict, difficult conversations into something positive, productive that will perform inside of this course. It's covered with all of these tips and tricks and so on. Ah, one. Welcome from both Meet Jesper and Robin inside of this course and I see you in the next video. 3. Why Conflict Management is Important: Welcome back to the course, guys. Now inside of this video, we're going to cover why conflict management is so important. Why it's a skill that you just have to learn. Let's dive into the media now. We all know that conflict is nothing that we would like to be within. Or is it? We both have positive conflicts that can. If we are managing the conflict correctly, it can turn into a very positive thing. But on the outer hand were having negative conflicts, the conflicts that we would like to re sold. Now, inside of this video, we're going to go over a few different reasons why conflict management is so important. Let's start. First of all, conflicts affect others to. Now. If you're having a conflict at work, let's say and you're getting home about dinner time, what do you think would be the discussion? Com Pick around the dinner table. If you are an open person, you will definitely tell your let's say, your wife or your husband and maybe even your kids or other family members or and your friends about the conflict that is going on at work. Maybe you're not even in the conflict. Maybe you have colleagues or your bosses in a conflict, but you will discuss the topic and you will be affected. Or maybe you're having a conflict with a and Bluey off yours. Or maybe your boss. Then people around you are not blind. They're not stupid. They will definite see and feel that a conflict is going on, and that will definitely affect others, too. Therefore, you need to master conflict management. Second reason is it can divide people and teams. Now, some people within a team maybe say yes to our conflict or two on something within the conflict. And another side will say no to that conflict, which if you're having a deadline for a project, let's say and that's dividing the team. Then you won't reach that deadline and that gold for the project then we're having it can cost you relationships and jobs. Now, if you ever have bean within a conflict, a bad and negative conflict with a loved one, then and that didn't turn out the way you wanted to. Maybe you lost a friend. Maybe you lost your wife, your kids or whatever. You know that it can hurt and it can cost your relationship. But if you are getting good at conflict management and you can decrease the negative once and increase the positive conflicts, then you know that you will feel better in your life. You will be more productive, etcetera. A study shows that 35 to 50% off the people leaving their jobs in the U. S. And in Canada actually are people that are leaving the jobs because of conflicts within the workspace, which is insane 35 to 50% off the people leaving the job doing so because of conflicts. Imagine if you're having a team, maybe you're a boss yourself. You're having a team, and you need that team to work together. To call elaborate. In order to reach the goals, reach deadlines, etcetera. Imagine if you can decrease the number from about 50% down to, let's say, 10% or serial percent. You'll have way more happier employees actual work. Therefore, you need to master the art off conflict management, and it can also decrease the productivity off the employees, for example. Now imagine that you're having a team that you are managing, and there's a conflict within that team you don't know how to manage that conflict. How can I turn this negative conflict into a positive one? How can I make my team collaborate more effectively? How can we reach together this goal and this deadline with this project, for example? Now imagine if you're having in conflict within that team, it will definitely decrease the productivity. What will they talk about at lunch? What will they talk about when you are not watching over them? And what are they going to talk about? Maybe on their free time. So basically, this will disc Reese the productivity off whatever you are doing, because this will distract you and your employees. Or maybe if you're no employee, it will definitely distract and decrease the productivity off the employees within the company. And then, lastly, it will increase the stress for you and the people that you are working with. Let's say that there's a conflict that work. You're getting to the job. You're stepping a foot into the office and you start feeling this dark cloud over you. You can see that some people are sitting there small talking. Some people are sitting there small talking. You can see that what this conflict has produced is divided up the team within your workspace. So you have starting to feel stress. You don't know what people you should talk with, what you should talk about and off course. This will be decreased, that productivity off. Whatever product that you you are working with so increased stress. We know what is doing to us human beings. We don't feel good about herself. And definitely we would like to Shane's our jobs eventually if we don't feel good. And stress will also increase how we are feeling and maybe even what we're doing with the test. So if we're getting injured at jobs, it's often because we're feeling stressed. So why Conflict management is important in recap. If we're not doing conflict management at work, it can affect honors. It can't divide people and teams. It can cost relationships and jobs, decrease the productivity and increase stress. Okay, guys, let's move on In the course with how to do conflict management effectively see in the next video 4. Why We Avoid Conflicts: Welcome back to the chorus guys. Now, instead of this video, we're going to talk about a few reasons when we as human beings are avoiding conflicts, let's dive into the video some. Most people like conflicts, but most of us don't like conflicts. Therefore, we would like to avoid them. Let's go over a few reasons why we are avoiding complex at any cost as human beings. First of all feel off confrontation. Let's say that you were having a best friend and you are feeling that this best friend is harming you in any way. Or maybe they are doing some kind of wrong with their girlfriend or boyfriend, and you feeling this is a no go for me. I would like to tell you to stop doing whatever you're doing, then fear off that come from Tae shin. Well, most cases stop you for saying anything at all, because then confrontations turned into an argument, and if the other person think that they are right and that's your best friend and you're feeling that they're doing wrong, then you will definitely have a confrontation. And if that is a no go for you, you would like to avoid that at any cost. Then you won't go into that conflict, right? So fair confrontation is, I would say, the most common reasons why people are avoiding conflicts at all. Then we're having fear off judgment. Let's say that you are speaking your mind. You're saying at work, for example, Let's do it this way. People are starting, maybe to dig a little bit, maybe laugh a little bit and you're feeling judged because you were only speaking your mind . You were only trying to get the project moving forward for you and your team to reach that goal even faster. But if you are having a fear off judgment that people are going to laugh at you, people are going to think that maybe you are stupid or whatever. Then you won't go into that conflict. You won't go into speaking your mind basically, so your fear of judgment can be one thing that is costing you to not getting into on conflict. To get into a new conversation to an argument about the topic. Then we're having fear off rejections. Now. I remember in my teenage years I had a fear of rejection. I was always sitting with the girls listening to the stories about their boyfriends and their friends and everything. Sometimes I didn't feel like doing that. But if I wasn't listening to all these girls about their boyfriends, they maybe wouldn't want to have me in their team in their group. So therefore, I was listening. I was having a fear of rejections. What if I stopped listening to them? What if I tell them? Hey, now it's enough. Can use please start listening to what I have to say instead. But they were just talking and talking and talking out was that nice guy, the friend zone guy that was just listening to them because I had fear off them rejecting me out from the group. And it can be the same for you at work space. What if you're telling your mind your feelings or how you can maybe work more effectively as a group as a team? What if your telling people that and they're like looking at you like why? And you're maybe being rejected from the group now the case is isn't this because if I want to tell these girls like I want to speak to, then I assumed that they would respect me and listen to me. And I assume this will be the case also, if you're having something off value to bring to a group toe a team so you don't have to be so afraid off speaking your mind. But this is one on the reasons why we are avoiding conflicts, the fear off rejection. Then we're having fear or offending. Let's say that somebody did something wrong at work, and you know, by fact that this is a pretty fragile person. You know that this person is pretty close to their feelings, and they're not afraid to show their feelings, which is not being fragile. But let's say this is a fragile person and by telling them that you feel like this can be done more effectively and better than that person may feel that you have offended this person. Or maybe this isn't the case. Maybe you have no idea. But you're already just having a fear off, offending others to hurt other people's feelings by telling your opinion about a matter. So fear of offending another person is another reasons why we are avoiding conflicts at all . And then lastly we're having fear off abandonment. Nobody in this world would like to be left alone, right? We would like to have friends, families, COL leagues, maybe even a great boss at work on our site. But what if we're getting into a conflicts telling another person our feelings and what we think can be more effective way to work? We can have the fear of abandonment. We can be left alone right now. This is mostly not the case. If you're not telling the other person something very aggressive and maybe even are harming the person in any way but fear our abandonment to be left alone is one reason why we are avoiding conflicts at all. So let's have a look at all off that reasons why we are often avoiding conflicts as human beings fear off confrontation, fear off judgment, fear off rejection, fear or offending fear off abandonment. Do you recognize yourself in any all these reasons why you would avoid on conflict? Write it down or just speak with yourself? Have a little self talk who opt out of these, are you? Let's move only in the course. I'll see you in the next video 5. Before Choosing Your Style: Welcome back to the course, guys. Now, inside of this video, we're going to talk about exactly what we talked about in the last video. Which is what do you do before you are choosing your conflict styles? What questions should you ask yourself before heading into the complex? Let's dive into you. So it would be pretty convenient if we had one conflict style to always go for in all types off conversations, right? But the case is that different situations needs different styles. Now, if you are at work talking with your boss, maybe you are a little bit more laid back. You are getting instructions, and you need to take whatever you're getting. Because if you're going into a harsh conflict with this person with this boss, for example, then maybe it isn't the best for your position at work. And so therefore, in on conflict with the boss, for example, you are taking a little bit more often backseat approach rather than maybe trying to win all type of situations. And maybe you're getting fired from work. But if you were having a colleague and you feeling like, hey, you are not trying to cooperate with me. I am going to try to cooperate with you. So I am going to use the collaboration style a little bit more. Try to find out a win win situation. Then you're pretty good at conflict management. I would say so. Different styles in different situations. So therefore, I would like to ask you tree different questions. These questions are questions that you can quickly before heading in headfirst into in conflict. Ask yourself so you know what types of style you should go with. First question would be. How much do you value the other person and the issue? Pretty straightforward question. I would say. Don't you value people the same? Most of the cases we don't actually, because if this a person is very important to you, maybe it's your family member. Maybe it's your calling that you have been working with for 15 years or so. Maybe you're using one type of style. Maybe you're a little bit laid back. We know that you can use a little bit more cooperative style, like collaborating or trying to get out. Win win situations out of our conflict easier. Or maybe this is a calling that is new at work and they're going in with a harsh conflict style A or Onley trying to defeat you, trying to win whatever conflict that you are within. Maybe you should know that. Okay, this person isn't too important to me and the issue doesn't really matter. It doesn't really bother me. And therefore, I'm going to be a little bit more passive in my conflict management style. And that is totally fine because you were having other things in your life that you are maybe valuing even more. It's not always about winning all kinds of conflicts, because that will take time. And maybe sometimes it isn't even about trying to collaborate and trying to work with the other person. Because maybe you feel like this is going to take a lot of time and energy. So therefore, I'm not gonna do that, So just have this in mind. Ask yourself, how much do you value the other person? Not how much do you respect other person? How much do you value the other person and the issue before heading in headfirst? Because just know that if you're going to collaborate with other people, that can take time and energy but is also most cases the best way to do it? Do you understand the consequences? So what would happen in the case? If you are going into in conflict with your boss, what will be the consequences of you being more more assertive, telling the boss exactly what you want, what you feel, what you need in all types of situations. Maybe they will respect you more if you're doing it in a smart way, where if you're doing it in an aggressive way, maybe you can lose your job. So do you understand the consequences when you are picking your conflict? Management styles have that in mind, and the third question I have for you is, Do you have the necessary time and energy to contribute? Now let's say that you are going with the more accommodating, complex management styles, which means that you are trying to help the other person out. You're not winning anything, but do you even have the time and energy to do so? Or maybe, are you prioritising things at home or you're having another task at your table? Please do consider if you're having the necessary time and energy to contribute, which means to help the other person or the group with whatever topic that might be on the table. So always think about your time and your energy. And do you have enough to contribute? So ask these questions. Will a goal in mind? What is the goal for you when you're going into a conflict? When argument with somebody, would you like the other person? Just to understand? Would you like to have a totally different result off what you're currently are having within this conflict? So always have a goal in mind when you're asking yourself these questions, and also when you're heading into any type of conflicts. So basically, how much do you value the other person and issue? Do you understand the consequences off using a certain style or at all going into a conflict with another person? Maybe, you know that you have on hot temperament, so you know that you are getting heat that you're getting aggressive. You always try to win all kinds of conflicts. Maybe you shouldn't go in with your boss or with their the team leader in any types of conflict. Maybe you should try to just talk a little bit with yourself. And I understand what type of coal you're having going into any conflict. Do you have the necessary time and energy to come? Tribute. Are you off value for the conflict? If not, then don't go into that conflict. So as this question with a golden mind. So what styles are feeding you? The best comes down to what situations that you are within. I have given you some examples of different types of situations. So basically, ask yourself, avoiding competing, compromising, accommodating, or collaborating would contribute to the best outcome possible and for you to reach your goal with that conflict. Good luck. Now I'll see you in the next video. 6. The Conflict Management Styles: Welcome back to the chorus guys. Now inside of this video, we're going to talk about the different complex management styles there is to use when entering and conflict. Let's dive into the video. So just by knowing that there isn't only one conflict management style that we can use for all different situations inside of this video, we're going to go over five different complex management styles that you can use for a particular situation. Okay, so let's start off with the model on the left hand side, you can see that we're having assertive. Being assertive is basically when you're saying what you're feeling, what you are wanting and what you need as a person. And then if you look on the bottom, you can see that here we have the cooperative line. So to the left, we're having low and to the right we're having high. So let's go over the five different styles. And also these guidelines here will guide you through how assertive type of style is and how cooperative a type of style is. So First off, we're having the style of avoiding. And as you can see on this shark, do you can see that assertiveness is low because you are not telling the other person what you want, what you need and what you feel and then we're having also own cooperative is low as well, because basically avoiding in our conflict is with a goal off. Delaying everything you don't feel may be confident getting into and complex of. Therefore, you don't say what you want. You don't say what you need. You don't say what you feel with a goal off delaying everything, and this can be helpful in some cases. Maybe your boss is on you and you are having a project that this maybe running a little bit late and you try to win a little bit more ground Lee to be more time. Maybe you try to delay everything so you try to avoid your boss, for example, could be good. But if you're getting into a relationship and maybe your spouse would like to divorce you, maybe you should go into that conflict and try to solve it in another way. Next up, we're having accommodating and as you can see on the screen in the bottom, you can see that on accommodating style is more to the high when it comes to cooperating, but it's pretty low when it comes to assertive. Basically, you don't say what you feel. You don't say what you need. You don't say what you want. Now what is accommodating? Accommodating is basically if you look on the picture right now with the goal to give in now this could be helpful in some situations. But as you can see on this picture, this guy ISS maybe helping out with stuff within the company that is not on his desk, that it's not within his work description. So maybe this is an normal regular office guy, but he is helping to move stuff around in the office, and you can find yourself maybe in these similar situations when you are trying to accommodating to. You basically are giving into whatever people are saying to you because you are the guy or the girl at that is helping other people's out. But the thing here is that maybe it isn't helping you. You're not gaining anything from this, so it depends on when to use this A conflict style, but basically accommodating is with a goal off giving it in because Maybe you don't have the confidence to say what you feel. Say what you want and say what you need. Next up, we're having competing the competing conflict, Silas against see its highest on the assertiveness. You say exactly what you feel exactly what you need, exactly what you want. But on the other hand, it's a low when it comes to cooperating. You're not cooperating with other people in the conflict or with the other person in the conflict. So the goal is to win. Now, this can be very helpful. If, for example, you are saying something and somebody isn't agreeing with you, maybe you are just spilling out your feelings and the other person is trying to deny your feelings. Then go for that wind. Don't let people go over you. Don't let them walk on you. So if you would like to stand up for yourself with confidence to be more assertive than you can definitely go in with the competing starts. But if you were meeting a person that is going to want to cooperate with you and are trying to find some type of middle ground in somehow, then maybe competing isn't the best style to use because, as you can see, the goal is to win and win big Next up we're having compromising. And as against see on this chart, it's landing in the middle between assertiveness and cooperating. And compromising is pretty much exactly what the word is speaking. The goal is to find a middle ground. So a middle ground, What does it mean? Well, you win some, but you also lose some. The person that you are in conflict with is having one opinion. And the other person you, in this case, are having another opinion. So you are getting a little bit the way you want to, and the other person is getting a little bit like they are wanting to. Now, if this is something that is like the other person is walking over, you are You're feeling like okay, this person isn't respecting my boundaries, etcetera. Then maybe you should work with another style. But if you feel like you can win some and the other person can win some and you are totally fine with that, then you can use this compromising style next up. We're having collaborating now, Why did I make this blue Well because in best case scenario, we want to collaborate with other people when we are in a conflict. Because collaboration, as you can see on this chart, is high in cooperative, which means that we are We're working with the other person. We're trying to solve this conflict together, okay? And then we're having it also high in a circuit, which means that you say what you want, you say what you need, you say all of your feelings and you're saying what you think is the best way to solve any problems or to move forward with a project that work or in their relationship, etcetera. So let's have a look at collaboration a little bit more. The goal is to find a win win situation so that you are feeling that you are winning. But the other person is also winning. You're not trying to trick the other person into Hey, you're going to win, but they're not. You are open to what they have to say, and they are open to what you have to say. You respecting their opinion and their respecting your opinion, and you're working together. You're collaborating to find a solution, so both you and the other person are winning, so collaboration is something that we're aiming for in most situations. But if collaboration would take, let's say too long time to do, to win, trust and win respect, etcetera. Maybe collaboration isn't a way to go, but just know that collaboration is basically with the goal toe. Find a win win situations for both parties. So, guys, these are the five different conflict management styles that we can use in any type of conflict. And all styles doesn't fit all different situations. In the next video, we're going to cover three different questions that we would like you to ask yourself before heading headfirst into an conflict with anybody. Okay, so let's dive into the next video where we're going to go over these three questions. Very important video. See you there. 7. 5 Common Workplace Conflicts: All right, so let's move on into the course Now, inside of this video, we're going to talk about five common work place conflicts and what you can do to prevent them. Let's dive into you. Ah, nightmare, right. Having a conflict at work? How do you handle conflicts at work can be pretty harsh, right? So let's go over five common work place complex and what to do about him. First of all, the task based conflict. Now, maybe you are a leader, team leader, boss, manager, etcetera. Or maybe you are an employee at the work. So you are being handed. Let's say that you're working within the group and you are handing out different tasks, and you know that all of these tasks needs to be done within a certain period of time. And you also know that if yes, some of the tasks are being done correctly within this period and not all of them, you know that the project won't be finished, so you need everybody to do its parts. But what if you weren't being clear about what exact task that a certain person should do? Then you can get into something called a task based conflict would. You are talking to this person and telling them, Hey, you haven't done your part of the deal or your part of the project, and therefore we are standing put and waiting for you to complete this task in order for the whole team to reach the goal and the deadline. So if you aren't communicating clearly and you are a leader than try to speak with more clarity to not get into a conflict about task based stuff. But if you are an employee then and you don't want to go into any conflict, the boast, different tasks, etcetera, new are wanted to make sure that you are doing your part of the deal, your part of the project. Then talk to the boss and ask them directly. Can you please specify my tasks of what I'm supposed to do so you don't get into this conflict? But just task based conflict is one of the most common workplace conflicts out there. Then we're having work style conflict. Some people were like no one is the other one alike, right? So some people like to work in one way. Maybe they are working better alone Maybe another person is bending working better in a big group. Maybe another person is working better in a small group. Maybe one person needs to have feedback on all kinds of things because maybe they are new at work. Or maybe if you have some experience behind you, maybe you know that you work better with one person, a certain person within the company. So based on your style, how you are working the best it can actually getting to a type of conflict argument situation kind of thing when you are, for example, being handed toe work within a group. So make sure to communicate. If you are a leader or team leader or anything like that, make sure to sit down with your group before you handing out all different types of tasks and ask them questions like what type of work style do you prefer? Do you prefer to work in a group, or do you work better alone? Are you more productive if you're working with three people or five people or six people try to find the strength and the weakness is amongst the people that you are going to work with or that you are going to delegate tasks to in order to prevent this work style conflict, because people aren't all ways the same. I mean, some people work bettering group. Some people work better alone. That's the fact. So if you would like to have productive work, ask questions to the group that you are the leader off or if you're working with people, ask them questions. How would you prefer to work? What is your work style? And then you will get answers and therefore you can prevent work style conflict. Then we're having personality based conflict. Basically, we don't like every people in the whole world. We don't do that. I'm sorry to break it to you, but not everyone in the world like you, not in the everybody in the world like me either. So therefore, if you were having, I mean taking a lot of space in your environment, at work or etcetera and you're talking a lot. Maybe not all the people think you are funny or would like to talk a lot of with you or would like to work with you eater. If you are more quiet kind of person, then people can also have problems with that, so just know that don't change your personality. But just know that this is one common workplace conflict this personality based. So this is nothing that you should do anything really about. But some people we work better with and some people we don't work too well with. And also we don't like everyone in the world, and you shouldn't go out there and try to be liked by everyone. But just know that this is one of the most common workplace conflict is personality based, and I don't like it at all. But this is just what it is. Then we're having a leadership style conflict. Now you can be on bold, charismatic leader that takes a lot of space. Or you can be that more a leader that is giving up people space are getting feedback from the workers. Your employees. What kind of ah leadership style do you work with? But this can also be the discussion topic off the lunch when you're not around, so people can sit there and have a different types of opinions about your leadership style . Or you can have opinions about other people's leadership styles. So by preventing this. Talk to the group. Talk to the group that you are leading or if you are on a regular employee at the company, take responsibility and talk with urine colleagues about this talk with How do you feel about the leader? Is the leader good? What can the leader improve, etcetera and then talk with each other because productivity doesn't calm sitting around when you're being quiet that you need to speak up for yourself to say what you feel, what you need and what you want. And then we're having the idea conflict. You may think that you're sitting on the best idea ever. Okay, You feel like you have brainstorm. You have innovated. You have come up with a very best idea. Your super pumped 2% your idea. But you're not alone here. Maybe you have other colleagues that are have being ideas around that very same topic. They have brainstorm them, innovated. They think that they are sitting on a very best idea. So it's very easy to go into something called an idea conflict, which means that you think that your idea is the best. But the other person thinks that Hey, my idea is even better than it comes to what type of conflicts time you should pick, right. So the best one here would be to try to find a win win situation, to try to collaborate with the other person so that you can present a part of your idea for the boss, for example, or for the team and the other person can present their part also to receive feedback. Or you can go to another colleague and also maybe try to involve other people to get to feedback. The worst thing with when it comes to idea conflict is to be stubborn. Don't be stubborn. Listen to feedback. Do what's best for the job so being praised and all is good. But working more efficiently will be better for your company. So these are the five common workplace conflict. First, we have the task based conflict, worksite conflict, personality based conflict, leadership style, conflict and idea conflict. Just have these in mind. When you're getting into a conflict, you can just pinpoint whatever conflict that you are within. Try to work around it, try to find common ground, tried to find a way to collaborate with your colleagues. Good luck. Now I'll see you in the next video 8. 5 Tips To Handle Difficult Conversations: Okay, guys, let's move on into the course Now in the next section, we're going to talk about difficult conversations. All of us know when to have difficult conversations when we should get in there and talk to that person when things aren't feeling the best. So let's dive into five tips to handle difficult conversations that's going to the video So difficult conversations. Oh, how should we handle them? Well, I have five tips for you in water when you're diving into a difficult conversations, things to think about. So the first step would be to be clear about what the issue is and what the effect off that it's having. Then, no, your objective objective is basically your goal. What is the desired outcome with having this difficult conversation? Is it that somebody is sheeting on another person, maybe talking behind behind your back and you feeling obligated to speak to the other person and ask them questions about why are you function this way? Why are you acting this way? You have to stop because it's harming. Maybe the economy of the company is harming the employees off. The company's harming our relationship, but being clear about your objective. It's more rather that you do want to reach a certain goal with your conversation. So what is it that you would like to get out of this conversation? What is to decide outcome? Is it for this person to stop doing what they're doing? Is it for the other person to start doing anything or to increase anything, or to improve anything or two and speak less? Speak more? What is to decide outcome? Always have that in mind when you're going into a difficult situation or conversation, rather, and then decide your style, your complex style. We already have spoken about the five different conflicts types before you're heading in head first into a difficult conversation. What is the conflicts time that you were going to use? Are you going to try to cooperate? Are you going to only say your opinion? What is the style that you would like to choose when you're going into this difficult conversation and the four tip would be to manage your emotions? You've heard this before, but basically can you stop yourself from reacting to whatever people are saying before you reacting on something we need to start thinking about how we would like to act. It's quite different between acting and reacting. Reacting is basically responding on whatever anybody is telling you are doing to you while acting is thinking a little bit and then acting on whatever, for example, decide outcome. You would like this difficult situation of conversation to have so basically learn to manage your emotions. Don't react, because if somebody is, if you were coming up to a person, you're saying, Hey, I I would like you to stop doing this and they are telling you, But you are doing this and then you start reacting. You won't get a productive conversation. You're not going to be able to reach your goal. They go with taking up this conversation at first and then lastly, protect their relationship. So the question is basically, can you get what you desired and keep their relationship? Can you reach the objective? Can you reach the goal with this difficult conversation, including protecting the relationship? If you're having a friend, you feel like in your got, it's very hard to have this conversation with him or her, and you feel like if I'm telling this person this I'm afraid that I'm gonna break up the relationship. So if I want to keep the relationship, how can I speak to this person? Is rather how you are saying what you would like to say than what you are saying. So how can you talk to this person in this difficult conversation to meet your objective and protect and keep the relationship alive? That's a question. But always be clear about the issue. No, your objective. Decide your style manager emotions and protect the relationships. These are the five tips toe handle. Difficult conversations. In the next video, we're going to look at the model a four step model for you to be able to handle any difficult conversation. Okay, guys, super excited. See you in the next video. 9. 4-Step to Handle Difficult Conversations: Welcome back to the course, guys. Now inside of this video, I am going to present to you the four steps to handle difficult situations. And in upcoming videos, we're going to dive in in more detail on all these steps. Let's time into this video. Alright, guys. So to have a productive conversation, whether it is an easy conversation or what it is a difficult conversation. It would be nice to have some type of step by step process, right? Therefore, we have created a step by step process on how to handle difficult situations. So the first step in this process would be that discovery We're calling it the discoveries basically listen. Okay, So listen to the other person what they have to say. Listen, actively. Don't just listen. Wait for your turn to say whatever you have to say, Listen, actively. Ask them questions. Go on a discovery. Go on a journey because you can't assume that you know everything that they would like to tell you. Right? But if you do assume, stop assuming, start discovering what they're saying. As questions be active, we're going diving more in detail in the next video on the discovery next one would be them mirror. This is basically where you are giving the other person acknowledgement. You are mirroring what they have told you. You are making clear for them that you have actively being listening. You are keeping to ask questions and you are just basically showed them that hate buddy, I'm here to listen to you. We both know that this is a difficult conversation toe have. Therefore, I would like to collaborate with you and therefore I am mirroring what you are saying. I am listening to you actively. So I understand you totally. This is basically where you should be able to tell other people what this person is having to say. Then the third step would be your turn. Now it's your turn to feeling the gaps. I mean, the other person has maybe one opinion and you have a slightly different opinion or maybe a total, another approach or opinion on the matter. So here is where you are going to feel the gaps that you felt were left out or you are going to speak your feelings, your needs and your wants. The fourth and last step would be the problem solving face where we are basically going into problem solving. We would like to find some middle ground where we can collaborate and to solve whatever problem and issues we might have in this difficult conversation. Okay, guy. So let's move on to the next video, where we're going to talk much more in depth about that discovery and what's included in that. See you in the next video. 10. Exercise - The Discovery: Alright, guys. So now it's time for us to dive into the first step off. Difficult conversations, which is the discovery? Let's time into the video. All right, So now what is the discovery? First step in the discovery would be to pretend you don't know anything. What do I mean with this? Well, if you're heading into a conversation, you feel like, OK, this is going to be a difficult conversation. You're having your goal in mind, your objective. You know what type of style to use etcetera when you're heading into the conversation Because you know that person a little bit and you know how to handle them. You feel that at least. But don't assume that you know what the other person is feeling and what the other person has for needs and wants and what they're objectivist. So basically, it's pretend that you know nothing like you're going out on an adventure on a journey on the discovery into their mind. That's the first step. Second step would be to understand the other person's point of view. Now here would fit pretty good with some questions. So what is the other person's decide outcome? What is their point of view on the matter. Maybe you are their issue. Maybe you have to change something. But basically understanding their point of view is very important for you to start collaborating eventually with this person. Step three. Figure out what the other person really wants. So in some type of conversation, it can be that the other person isn't really saying out loud what it wants, but by used keep asking questions, being an active listener, being for them comfortable to speak with because you are acknowledging them, you are there for them. You're listening actively. Then they might feel more comfortable in saying what they really want out of this situation Now, the fourth and last step in the discovery would be to listen, learn, and don't take it personally. We've already went through that. You're going on a discovery. You're going on a journey in the mind off the other person that you're having this hard, difficult conversation with. So listen and learn about what they want. But then also don't take it personally. We know that conversations and often difficult conversations can be pretty low, that pretty heat that maybe the other person or you have bean walking around for weeks thinking about it, maybe walking around for months or maybe years to thinking about having this very hard, difficult conversation. And then some of you just explode. Okay, You can't really handle your emotions and therefore you, maybe you explode and the other person may also explode on you. But that is not personally. If you haven't done stuff, really messed up a lot of things. Maybe you deserve that. But don't take it personally, because then it will be very hard to move on to the next, step off this entire four step model to handle difficult conversations. Now it's time for me to show you the template that you can download. Just click beneath this video, you have a link. Just click on that and you can download the template to your device that you're watching this course on and you can have it at hand. Let me show you the template. So here's the template is basically a document where you can see first thing here is to pretend you don't know anything. You have a small explanation just beneath here, and then we would like to you to write how did that feel after you have done this step saying Goes here, understand the other person's point of view, Then we're having figure out what the other person really wants, and then we're having. Listen, learn, and don't take it personally. So you're having small explanation. We would like you to fill in this just printed out or have it on your phone or whatever fits your boat. But this is a free template to use whenever you're coming up with a difficult conversation , or you are planning to have a difficult conversation than you can prepare yourself for all of these four steps. So now it's time for us to move on to the next video to step to see you there. 11. Exercise - The Mirror: our guys. So I hope you have downloaded the template from the last video inside of this video. We're going to go over then. Next exercise Exercise number two. Which is them? Mirror. Let's dive into this exercise. So the mirror, What do we mean with this? Well, we have four steps to the mirror as well. Let's dive into the steps. First off, we're having mirror what the other person is saying, basically what mirroring what it's saying. It can be both questions and also just confirming that you have listened to the other person. The purpose here is to make the other person feel seen to make the other person feel that you have acknowledged the other person. You have seen the other person, you've heard the other person, you understand their point of view. So that is the first step. Then we're having to confirm what they are saying with a question. Keep on asking questions. Do you really mean it this way? Or do you mean it that way? Stop assuming and but don't assume at all, Ratter. So don't assume that you know everything before you know everything. If you can speak for them in a conversation. Then you have done your your correctly. If they are really feeling seen, heard and understood, you have done your job here, and it's more likely that you are going to be able to cooperate with this person later on. Step three would be to acknowledge the other person's opinion. Now it's different to acknowledge the other person's opinion and agreeing with the other person by just acknowledging telling you that, Hey, I I see why you feel or why you think this way. I definitely see why you do that. That is not the same. Like I am totally agreeing with you now it's not. It is just for the other person to feel and see that you are acknowledging that they're having opinions and that their opinion matters. Fort Step would be to separate understanding from agreeing. Understanding. Another person's opinion is seeing that, Hey, this person is definitely allowed to have their opinion, and their opinion matters is another thing than agreeing with their opinion. So make sure that you are still standing your ground in your head. Don't speak already, but just understand that your opinion don't have to match the other person's opinion Ratter . So let's go over to the template that we have created for you to have whenever you are finding yourself in a difficult conversation. So here's the exercise, then the exercise in the template so mirror what the other person is saying. So, for example, do your best to understand what the other person is saying so well that you can speak for the other person. Secondly, confirm what they're saying with a question. Make them feel understood and heard by asking a question to show you listen to them and then acknowledged the other person's opinion and separate understanding from agree. Just understand that you don't need to agree with another persons opinion, but acknowledging and seeing and somehow mirroring what they're seeing and telling them that hey, your opinion matters means Aton for your relationship and for your difficult situation to run smoothly so that you can preserve that relationship and the bond between you and the other person. Okay, guys, this template that you were seeing on the screen right now it's free, downloaded in. The resource is collected, linked, downloaded to whichever device that you're working on. We're seeing this course on and keep on working on these templates. Good luck. And I'll see you on step three in the next year. 12. Exercise - Your Turn: well down so far. Now it's time for us to move on to exercise number three, which is your turn. Let's time into the video. So what is exercising your turn when basically, this is the step where you are beginning to tell them what you see that they have missed. You don't want to tell them. Hey, you missed this. You miss that? You miss this. You miss that. You are telling them what you feel, what you need. And your opinion. Basically, you're filling in the gaps that you feel that they haven't missed. Next step after you have done that is clarifying your position without minimizing them. You don't want to go in and tell them Like I've heard what you've said, I have mirrored you. I know exactly what you're talking about. You are wrong, or what you say doesn't matter as much as what I'm saying. So therefore, I'm just basically gonna make them ice, you know? Don't do that. You would like to keep on standing your ground. You don't just want to agree on what they are saying. You rather would like to continue to acknowledge their opinion and so on. But you This is the part where you are going to start standing your ground. You're going to clarify your message, your opinion, your bonds, your needs and your feelings. When you have done that, you're going to move on to step number three here, which is take one thing at the time in any heated situations and conversations, it can be that we're letting our emotions take over. Maybe we have pushed down this topic for weeks for months, or maybe even for years. So therefore, this is an exercise in handling difficult conversations. So therefore, my advice Food to you is basically to take one thing at the time. Don't let the heat off the moment. Spill your guts to tell the other person 10 different things that you want to have changed off and maybe that they are doing wrong etcetera. Try to clear out one thing at the time, then your conversation and your relationship will run way smoother. Once you've done with that, you can move on to the next task, and that is basically to be opened for feedback and have the ice on the target being open for the feedback because okay, let's say you've listened to another person. You're mirrored the other person and you have told them your opinion. OK, now it's time for you to get some feedback as well. You have feedback them. You have filled in the gaps that you felt that needed to be filled in. Right now it's your turn to give them try on it to give them a chance to feeling your gaps to gaps that you have left when you have spoken your mind. So you have told them What do you feel is missing? You have clarified your position that okay, you acknowledge your opinion, you feel it's okay for them to have opinions and you can see their site in the point of view and all. But you're standing your ground and then the step three, you have taken one thing at the time. You don't let your emotions run the show rather than you are just taking one thing at the time. Step for you have begin to be open to feedback and you have the ice on the target, and the target could be to preserve their relationship to keep the relationship on going on . And if that is the case, then just have your eyes on the target. Be respectful. Be nice. Be kind but also be assertive in your communication. Assertive is basically when you are with confidence speaking what you feel what you need and what you want. Okay, so let's dive into the template off these exercise. I'm going to show it to you. Okay, guys. So here is the exercise. Exercise your turn. Here are the points that we have went through with an explanation. Yes, but neath and you can feel in these Just write down whatever you are just answering these questions. Basically you can download this template inside of the resource is for this video collect a link. It will be downloaded. To which ever device that you're watching discourse on. OK, guys, Now it's time for us to move on to step number four in handling difficult conversations. See you in the next video 13. Exercise - Problem-Solving: Wow, guys. We have already reached that fourth and final steps in handling difficult conversations. Let's dive into the video and have a look. Okay, guys, finally, it's time for the problem solving part off the Apostle. Now it's time for us to solve everything with the other person. So the first step in this process would be brainstorming. Sit down with the other person and start taking a piece of paper and a pen and start brainstorming ideas and solutions on how you both can start collaborating, how the other person can start respecting you a little bit more and the other way around, or whatever the issue might be. This works very good in the workplace. It also works good in a personal relationship. Step number two would be to ask for solutions. Take another piece of paper and ask the other person. What solutions would you give to this problem and just start brainstorming. It's not hard, it's easy. And then just separate that bad ideas from the good ideas and just keep on going with this ideas. You can't imagine how much if you're doing these exercises, how much you would connect to the other person do you make the other person feel seen? And the other person will also make you feel seen and heard, which is very important for a strong bond. Where is our colleague? Maybe it's your boss. Maybe it's our relationship. Personal relationship. This step number three would be to master the art off open conversations who open conversations. What do we mean with this? Whatever critique the other person might have to you when it comes to brainstorming, maybe you are figuring out that, Okay, this person hasn't told me everything and therefore is throwing a lot of garbage at me right now. It's okay. If you're open for that garbage, you can solve the problem. If you were closed and defensive and turning into a more reactive person that is reacting on whatever, there are the person saying you will see that this will become a clash and you won't solve anything. So mustering open conversations, ISS practice. You need to practice to be open to whatever critique and feedback you're getting during this exercise. During the problem solving step Number four, it would be too focused. Practice practice once a day would be a good way to go about all of these exercises. So if you were having tough conversations that you know that you need to take whether is in your family, maybe it's with your friend. Maybe is with a called like a boss. Take it step by step, but do this process and keep on practicing because practice makes perfect. We already know that if you are practicing to kick something 10,000 times, you will become pretty good at kicking something. If you are playing ice hockey, for example, at 10 years he will become pretty good at playing I sock. And the same is when it comes to handle difficult conversations. If you're going into this and being serious about turning into a monster and difficult conversations in conflict management, you will become a master. And if you're a boss, for example, you will have your colleagues and your employees much happier. They will turn into much happier workers, and the same goes for your personal relationships. You will be able to handle difficult conversations and conflicts way easier. Let's live into the exercise and the templates. Let me show you that. Okay, guys. So here's the template and the exercise for you first off we're having brain store me and the example would be brainstorming allows your creative mind to come up with a lot of ideas in a short time, both good and bats and basically here. When you're writing down on a piece of paper, you should try to separate the good ones from the bad ones and keep that good ones and ask for solutions and move on with mustering open conversations. Be open to whatever the other person is saying. Don't take it personally, okay, Don't start reacting. Think about what they're saying and then act on it. Then ask more questions or tell them your opinion and your solutions to be able to do more problem solving and then focus and practice. And then you can use this document. You can download it. Kilic In the resource is for this video. Download this very same document to your mobile phone to your computer tablet or whichever device you you're watching this course on and do this exercise guys. Then you are being able to master the art off difficult conversations. Good luck. Now, guys. Thank you for watching this course. See in the next video 14. Thank You!: while. There you go. Thank you so much for being part of this course. Don't forget to download your certificate. You can find it in the F A Q. Inside of the course, you're having a small it list there with some explanations on how you can download it. Feel free to ask us any questions in the Q and A section off this course around the course topic that you have already went to conflict management mastered that art is so great for all the leaders and all the relationships to be saved. Okay, guys. So thank you so much for watching this entire course. Both me, Yes, for and Robin are super happy to have you as a student as questions feel free to reach out to us at any point. See you in the next course, my guys